When Stewie woke up, he heard a voice asking, "Are you okay?"
Stewie was lying on his back in a pile of rubble. He opened his eyes and sat up. Viserion was lying on the ground some distance away. He couldn't fly because his wing had been injured.
Bertram was standing over Stewie. It was he who had spoken. "Are you okay?" he asked again.
Stewie recoiled from him. "Get away from me! Are you here to try and kill me again?"
"No, I'm here to help you," Bertram said.
Stewie snorted. "Well, that's a change of heart for you. What brought this on?"
Bertram said, "Now that I've seen the devastation Bill has wrought, I know I was a fool to ever trust him. He promised me fabulous rewards for assisting him, but now I see he just wants to kill everyone in Westeros, including me. This mess is partly my fault. When I tried to kill you back in that cave, it was at Bill's behest. I played a part in helping him rise to power. Now I wish I hadn't, and I want to help bring him down, even if it costs me my life."
Stewie looked into his half-brother's eyes. He could see that Bertram was sincere. "Okay," he said. "If you're really serious about cooperating with me, I think I have a plan…"
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Brian had just killed Keyhole by driving his dagger into the hole in the creature's head. He didn't notice the giant set of teeth coming up behind him until the jaws snapped shut on his tail.
Brian howled in agony and fell to the ground, dropping his dagger. He rolled over and saw his severed tail wedged between two of Teeth's teeth. His ass was in excruciating pain.
Teeth lunged forward, about to finish Brian off.
Luckily, Dany was in the sky above him, and she saw that Brian was in trouble. "Dracarys!" she said to Drogon, and Drogon shot a blast of fire at Teeth, killing him and saving Brian.
"Thanks," Brian panted.
"Don't thank me," Dany said shortly. "Thank Drogon."
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In the courtyard of Winterfell, the battle between the Northmen and the army of the dead raged on. The White Walkers and wights were killing anyone that came within their reach.
The Night King was standing in the center of the courtyard with his arms raised, surrounded by a circle of wights. Arya Stark knew if she could kill him, the war would be won at a stroke. But she couldn't get close enough to stab him because of the wall of wights swarming around him.
She pulled a burning sconce off a wall and hurled it into the midst of the wights, scattering them long enough to approach the Night King.
"Hello, Frosty," she said. "Nice to see you again."
The Night King turned to look at her, a confused expression on his face. He didn't seem to recognize her.
Then Arya remembered she was still wearing Quagmire's face. She yanked her mask off and tossed it away, revealing her true face beneath. "Do you remember me now, snow cone?"
The Night King reacted instantly.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
He charged at Arya, and before she had a chance to stab him, he had grabbed her and hoisted her into the air, holding her by the throat with one hand and the left wrist with the other. Her dagger dropped to the ground.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," the Night King said again. He was strangling the life out of Arya now. Arya couldn't breathe. She couldn't believe she had failed to repeat her feat. Now it seemed she was doomed to become a wight…
But right when Arya was about to die, a dragonglass blade suddenly protruded from the Night King's chest. Someone had stabbed him from behind!
The Night King dropped Arya to the ground as he shattered into smithereens. There was nothing left of him but a pile of ice.
Arya's sister Sansa was standing over the remains of the Night King with a dragonglass sword in her hand and a surprised expression on her face.
"Whoa," she said. "Did I just do that?"
With the Night King destroyed, the other White Walkers shattered as well, and in turn, every wight fell. They just dropped and fell apart. The magic that animated their dead flesh and sinews had departed.
"Hooray, we have won!" Theon Greyjoy cheered. But the words had no sooner left his mouth than he fell to the ground. The wight he had been doing battle with had already mortally wounded him.
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Back in King's Landing, Dany and Meg were circling around Bill in the air on their dragons, while he shot eye lasers at them.
"Where are Stewie and Viserion?" Meg called to Dany.
"I don't know!" Dany shouted back. "Haven't seen them for a while!"
Bill laughed. "I'm pretty sure I've taken care of Stewie Griffin, and that other dragon of yours. You might as well give up now!"
"I'll never give up!" Dany yelled defiantly. "I'm the mother of dragons! Fire can't kill me!"
"Maybe fire can't kill you, but how about lasers?" said Bill.
He fired a laser at her, but missed and hit Rhaegal in the shoulder instead. Rhaegal roared in pain and flipped over in midair, causing Meg to fall off his back!
"Meg!" Dany cried.
Meg crashed through the roof of a tavern that Bill had just set on fire. Moments later, the building collapsed, with Meg inside.
Dany couldn't believe it. She had only known Meg for a short time, but she had taken quite a liking to her. For some reason she couldn't explain, Meg reminded her of herself. Now it seemed she was dead…
"Ahahaha! Two dragon riders down, one to go!" Bill exclaimed.
Then Meg emerged from the flames! She was limping but unburnt.
"How could you possibly have survived that?" Bill screamed angrily. "You'd have to be…"
"A Targaryen?" Meg suggested.
Bill made an unearthly sound and shot a beam at Meg that levitated her into the air.
Suddenly, a familiar voice shouted, "Put her down!"
Bill looked down and saw Stewie dragging himself through the war-torn streets of King's Landing on his hands and knees. But it wasn't really Stewie. It was Bertram, wearing Stewie's clothes and imitating his voice.
"Oh, you're not dead after all, huh?" he said. "Well, you're just in time to see me kill your sister!"
"You like making deals, Bill," Bertram said, doing his best impersonation of Stewie. "Well, how's this for a deal? If you promise not to hurt Meg, or Brian, or any of the other people I care about, I'll let you inside my mind."
"Stewie, no!" shouted Meg.
Bill cackled. "A chance to enter the brain of the three eyed raven? I can't pass that up! Okay, it's a deal!"
He set Meg back down on the ground. Then he floated over to Bertram and took his hand.
Instantly he passed into Bertram's mind. He found himself floating in a white void. The only thing he could see was a door. "Gotta hand it to you, Stewie," he said. "You really know how to clear your mind."
He opened the door and went through. He emerged in a room, where he saw a boy sitting in a wheelchair, who he assumed to be Stewie…
Until the boy jumped out of the chair. "Surprise!" Bertram said in his own voice.
"WHAT! I've been tricked!" Bill cried. He tried to go back out the door, but found it locked.
Outside of Bertram's mind, the real Stewie was crawling towards Bertram, dragging his crippled legs behind him. In his hands, he held the memory gun. He raised the gun, pointed it at Bertram's head, and fired.
"No, no, no!" Bill screamed.
Bertram grinned. "Oh, yeah. You're going down, Bill. You're gettin' erased."
"You idiot!" Bill spluttered. "Don't you realize you're erasing your own memories, too?"
"Well, I am a baby, after all," said Bertram. "It's not like I have that many."
"You're making a mistake!" Bill said desperately. "I'll give you anything!" His eye showed a picture of a dollar sign. "Money!" Then his eye showed a picture of a star. "Fame!" A pot of gold. "Riches!" A nebula. "Your own galaxy!"
He was beginning to melt now. His words didn't make sense anymore. "Nruter yam I taht rewop tneicna eht ekovni i! Nrub ot emoc sah emit ym! L-T-O-L-O-X-A!"
Bertram punched Bill in the eye and Bill disintegrated with a fading scream.
"Heh," said Bertram. "Guess I was good for something after all."
It was the last thing he said before all his memories faded away.