It felt right, stepping into the main hallway of the Royal Palace with Sokka by her side. The grandeur of a building that once had been so dark and daunting appeared welcoming instead, and she knew it was a byproduct of their many triumphs together. The world, as a whole, seemed brighter than ever today.
"We did it, didn't we?" Sokka asked, turning a gentle grin on her as they stopped halfway through the corridor.
"Don't we always?" Azula smiled back at him.
Her words were spoken instinctively – in all honesty, she couldn't even remember whatever it was they had achieved, only how pleased she was for their success. Containing the urge to kiss him was difficult, but she knew she had to do it, at least for now… it didn't matter how far they'd come together, their relationship remained a secret and still had to be one.
But why? She was confused as she stared into those blue eyes that charmed her so deeply. Why was she so certain they had to hide who they were, what they meant to each other…? After all their victories, all the glory people sang for them, why would anyone care if they were more than just gladiator and sponsor? How could anyone still not understand their bond was deeper, far more complex than it was supposed to be?
"I'm proud of us" Sokka chuckled, raising a hand to caress her hair: she didn't stop him, convinced thoroughly, impulsively, that there was no reason why he should hold back with his affections. Not when she craved them so desperately…
"So am I" Azula whispered, reaching to clasp his hand in hers.
"Times like these I just want to…" he said, biting his lip in an unintentionally seductive gesture: Azula wanted to jump forward and kiss him fully, pressing him against the nearest wall while asking him to take her right then and there…
"Then why don't you?" she asked, with a slow smirk.
"You know why" Sokka said, matter-of-factly.
"I don't think I remember anymore, honestly" Azula laughed "Suddenly it's just so hard to think of all the reasons why we should hold back…"
"Is it?" Sokka smiled gently "I feel that way sometimes too, but…"
"But?" Azula repeated, her body inching closer to his.
He was a breath away from kissing her when a hint of noise reached them from another corridor. He tensed up immediately, even though Azula wasn't half as bothered by the imminent interruption as he was. Who cared if servants saw them kissing…? What was so wrong with letting them see they were in love? The more she pondered it, the less sense everything made…
But Sokka pulled away regardless, and it felt like he had stabbed her heart when he did, no matter how unwilling he presented himself. Didn't he want her? Didn't he…?
"Sorry. Later, okay?" Sokka said, reading her easily… not that she was making it difficult at all, wearing her heart on her sleeve as she was right now "I'll visit you in your room, don't worry…"
The voices and footsteps grew louder as the people making such noise turned the corner. Azula's powerful, loving emotions towards Sokka were changing fast, erratically, viscerally… she turned her angry glare towards those responsible for Sokka's decision to hold back. Who could possibly be so threatening that the mighty Blue Wolf, her protector, the most powerful gladiator and warrior in the world, would be daunted by them?
The answer to that question floored her: the rage inside her shifted immediately into a fear just as powerful as the previous fury and wrath had been. And that sickening vertigo, that sensation of panicked trepidation, was directed towards the person leading a group of nobles through the Palace hallways.
She was exactly as she remembered her: her beautiful face was framed by the dark brown hair that was done up in a top-knot, crowned by an elegant, crimson fire-shaped hairpiece. Her clothes, red, dark and flowing, somehow brought the thought of blood to Azula's mind despite it was a strange association to make: she couldn't imagine those elegant hands could ever be responsible for anyone's death. Not when they belonged to a woman who embodied every traditional precept that highborn ladies had been following and abiding by in the Fire Nation since times immemorial…
She didn't turn her gaze on them right away, but Azula's entire body seemed to fail once she did: eyes that had been so gentle as she spoke to her companions now leered at her with acute, thorough disapproval… but worse than that, they were taking in Sokka too, and she found him faulty, unworthy, inadequate just the same.
With a dismissive wave of her hand, the elegant woman ensured the nobles would stay at the back of the corridor as she strode purposefully towards Azula. Each footstep was perfectly small, measured, even though her gait appeared effortless. She was graceful in every sense that mattered, the picture of perfection Azula had both rejected and chased after for years…
"Azula. You're home" she spoke: Azula didn't know what she had expected, perhaps a dark, cruel voice that would shake her to her core… but that was the voice she had heard since her childhood, scolding her for all her wrongdoings, never praising her, never offering her the slightest sympathy… "Well? Aren't you going to greet me?"
"I… I'm sorry" Azula said, averting her gaze immediately despite not knowing why. The voice tone was harsh and commanding even when requesting a simple courtesy.
"If you truly are, it's not so difficult for you to remediate your shortcoming" the woman said, and there was harsh steel in her voice that only Azula could remember hearing in it. To everyone else, she was kind, sweet, gentle, perfectly mannered… but not with her. Never with her.
Azula took a deep breath, an unnerving feeling surging inside her gut. This was wrong. Something was absolutely, disgustingly wrong… but what could she do other than complying with those demands?
"Good morning… Mother"
The words weren't enough to please Ursa: was anything, ever? The sensation of inadequacy churning its way through Azula's body was overpowering, but it was accompanied by the knowledge that something was truly out of place. She couldn't put her finger on it, not for real, but the awareness of the wrongness was still there…
"I see you've brought your slave along" Ursa said, turning her harsh gaze on Sokka now.
What he never did for Ozai seemed to be an impulsive, inevitable instinct when dealing with Ursa: Sokka's head was bowed immediately upon being addressed, and he averted his eyes from the woman altogether.
His behavior was disturbing, just as much as Ursa's presence was: this was not him. He was unruly, snappy, defiant… no one could force him to submit, not Azula herself, not Ozai, no one. But Ursa… Ursa seemed to be strong in ways Azula could barely understand, barely fathom, yet that strength could not be denied, for Azula was stunned cold, terrified despite not understanding why. Suddenly, Sokka's certainty that they couldn't possibly be public about their relationship made much more sense than it had earlier, when she had outright forgotten her mother was a factor to be considered…
"I hope you've had a pleasant day, Fire Lady Ursa" Sokka said, his voice monotonous, rehearsed… again, not himself. Again, forced to play a part that didn't suit him in the least.
Despite her better judgment, Azula's fear gained an edge of rage all over again. To see the man she loved reduced to a pale shadow of his usual self in her mother's presence… it was unnerving, it was ridiculous, and she wouldn't stand for it.
"I did, until now" Ursa said, with no subtlety "I thought I'd told you not to bring him here anymore, didn't I, Azula?"
"He's my gladiator" Azula growled, defiance and rebellion rising to a boiling point inside her. If Sokka wasn't going to stand his ground, then she'd stand it for him "He's free to go wherever I go. There's no reason why he shouldn't be allowed in the Palace when I…"
"Azula… don't"
His voice was broken, weak, unlike anything she'd heard from him up to date: defeat didn't suit him as well as it suited their many enemies.
"Sokka…" Azula said, looking at him in skeptical disbelief. This was absurd. It was absolutely preposterous! He didn't have to kowtow to her mother's every whim, she had no real authority over him…!
"It's fine, Azula. Don't worry" he said, with a weak smile "I'll see you later… or maybe tomorrow, I don't know. It's okay"
She raised a hand, hoping to stop him, but he slipped away so fast she was left reaching for nothingness where he had stood moments ago. By now, the fear had truly morphed over right back to wrath, and she turned it on her unyielding mother without a shred of remorse.
"Why did you do that?!" she asked, unwilling to mask her outrage, and most of all, unwilling to play Ursa's game any longer "He wasn't doing anything wrong! He respected you just as you demand of him, why are you so…?!"
"Don't raise your voice at me, young lady" Ursa said, and even her frown was as delicate as it was demolishing "We have talked about this countless times as it is. This… this gladiator business of yours, it is utterly unbefitting a woman of your station. That your father allowed it at all was an immense oversight on his part. He has given your whims far too much leeway, and he knows it"
"That's absurd!" Azula hissed "I've achieved so much only because I joined the Gladiator League, Mother! I wouldn't even be Crown Princess otherwise!"
"Yet another whim you should have never been indulged in" Ursa said, shaking her head "Don't you know your brother will take his rightful place as your father's heir once he returns?"
"He's not coming back! He's told me himself, he…!"
"Nonsense. Zuko will return, and he will be Fire Lord. As for you, young lady… you have a long way to go before you're suitable to take a husband, even now. You've been given too much freedom, and you've squandered it by investing your time in endeavors that matter little, such as that slave and those appalling, violent battles. Truly, Azula, there are expectations for a Princess that you must uphold…"
"That's not me" Azula hissed "I don't care for all your traditions, all the nonsense women are expected to be, I…! I want to be out in the world! I want to fight, to lead, to achieve something beyond sitting idly by next to my husband, merely looking pretty while he decides everything in my life!"
"Is that what you think I do, then?" Ursa asked sardonically, raising her eyebrows "I'm a prop for your father, for my husband? Why, truly, for someone who has always prided herself on being so smart, you are remarkably slow in certain matters…"
"Slow?" Azula repeated, staring at her mother in utmost disbelief. Was the woman truly stooping down to insulting her so blatantly?
It should have alarmed Azula that her father would appear by her mother's side so suddenly, just as suddenly as Sokka had vanished earlier. But there he was… and he, as well, appeared completely different from his usual self. Where his inner fire burned like the wildest of flames she had ever witnessed, today he was tempered, calm… and he looked at his wife with reverent submission.
"Ozai, dear… I think our daughter has pushed her limits far too much over the past years. We should have kept a closer watch on her" Ursa announced, and her husband only nodded, compliant.
"It was my mistake. You know best, my love"
It had to be a joke. A really dark, bad joke. Her father, giving in to her mother's demands? When on earth had he become so weak, so complacent? The last she knew, they were at odds, constantly clashing…
Though that had been during her childhood. Somehow, she couldn't remember what they were like during her teenage years, or during her tenure as a sponsor. Again, the sensation that something was wrong rose inside her, unsettling her despite not knowing for sure what was out of place…
"I knew you'd see things my way" Ursa said, and she offered Ozai a clever smile that he answered with a numb one of his own: Azula had the poignant sensation that he could no longer think for himself. He was no longer the father, no longer the Fire Lord she remembered.
But if he wasn't the powerful Fire Lord he once had been, who was the most powerful being in their world now?
It dawned on her then, by the slant of her mother's smirk, that it was her. She had taken control… she was manipulating Ozai into doing her bidding, though however she was achieving that remained a mystery. Azula shook her head, raising her eyes towards her father to find he wouldn't turn his gaze towards her, not anymore. Not when his wife was here with him, again…
She had left, hadn't she? Ursa had left. Something told Azula as much, so why was she here now? Why did it seem as though she'd never been gone at all…?
"Father, please…" she said, despite knowing already that he wouldn't listen. There was only one voice he could hear, and he seemed to long for its commands like a starved beast craves to fill its aching belly to soothe its hunger.
"Your wisdom is my guide, Ursa" Ozai said, ignoring Azula blatantly "Your judgment has never failed us, and it won't fail our daughter"
"No!" Azula shouted, glaring at Ursa fiercely: the woman returned the glare, yet without the passion in Azula's own: instead, she seemed perfectly satisfied, as someone ever would if they always got their way "You can't force me to become someone, something I'm not! I will never break just because you will it, Mother!"
"You are so unnecessarily dramatic, Azula, truly" Ursa said, shaking her head.
"I will fight you as many times as I must if that's what it takes…" Azula growled, scowling at the woman "But I won't let you destroy everything I've worked for! People count on me, depend on me! I'm going to be the greatest leader in Fire Nation history…!"
"You? Oh, please. You can't even be a proper wife, you couldn't possibly be a great leader" Ursa said, shaking her head subtly "It is not your role. It isn't your destiny. You aren't meant for the greatness and fantasies you've filled your head with ever since you were a child. Learn your place already, Azula, before you must learn it the hard way"
"You'd do best to learn yours" Azula growled back, frowning fiercely "I've come too far as it is for you to put a stop to it anymore"
"Ah, I wonder if there could be any truth to that" Ursa said, skeptically "Correct me if I'm mistaken, but… weren't you fated to lose everything?"
The words shook her, down to her core, to the point where she could nearly feel her body crumbling under their weight. It made no sense for Ursa to know that, only that fortuneteller and Sokka knew about it, she hadn't shared it with anyone else…
But all rational thought, all logic, had escaped her after her mother spoke the worst words she could have. Azula gritted her teeth: gripping pain burst within her chest, it was too much to take, and it was all her mother's fault. She had to get away from Ursa, there was no other way to push away the pain… so she turned on her heels, running just as fast and desperately as she had as a child, upon hearing words that had branded her for a lifetime. But this time, Ursa didn't call after her. This time she only watched her go, proud of having broken her.
She couldn't lose everything. She couldn't possibly falter and fail the slaves, all the people who endured the worst of Fire Nation society: she couldn't fail an entire world that depended on her. She had fought for too long, she had given her all to succeed… Why would her mother get in the way of that? Wasn't Azula helping the weakest people, those who weren't helped by anyone else? Wasn't that something Ursa had always wanted her to do?
She stumbled upon some obstacle she hadn't seen, and rolled clumsily on the ground, not knowing where she was anymore, not knowing how to find any comfort after the disturbing encounter with her mother. She needed help. She couldn't deal with this alone: the pain in her chest had yet to recede, and she clasped it as she forgot how to breathe.
Her free hand slipped inside her pocket instinctively, squeezing the bone necklace that nestled inside it. It barely took a moment before someone scooped her up delicately, carefully, into familiar arms she had longed to sink into since the first moment…
"Azula…" Sokka whispered, as she broke down in tears she could no longer contain.
"I… I don't want her to take anything away" she gasped, breathless still, even though the pain was weaker in his presence "I can't let her do anything to you. Sokka…"
"I've told you, you won't ever lose me" Sokka whispered, his face so close to hers she could feel him in every inch of her body, his fingers slipping into her hair, offering her all the comfort she had longed for. Her chest's tension receded, allowing way for a sob to slip out of her throat.
"Sokka…" she called his name, hands rising to cup his face in them.
"You'll never lose me" he repeated, and she believed him.
She kissed him hard, perhaps so hard it should have hurt, but it didn't: she could breathe again, and blissful triumph took the place of searing pain. He seemed to blend into her, their bodies flowing into each other, turning into a single entity in every way that counted. Their souls, so different from each other long ago, now were so alike they could hardly be distinguished as separate anymore. If she took him in, if he became hers in every way that counted, her mother would never take him away. There was no way anyone could force them apart…
And so, she encouraged him between urgent kisses to take their connection further, to stop at nothing. They would protect each other, protect their love, protect the future they had fought for. This was the only way…
"You will never learn, will you?"
Paralyzing fear took hold of her: no. Not again. Not when they were together, not when they had been so close to victory…
But her mother's voice bled judgment and cruelty like none she had ever heard before. Azula ended the kiss, still holding Sokka protectively against her… but it wasn't enough.
"Every time I think you can't be more of a failure, you prove me wrong" Ursa declared coldly "Every time I hold any expectation for you, you endeavor to go against it. And now you prove just how much of a monster you truly are, don't you?"
"N-no… stop" Azula said, eyes wide as she snarled threateningly at her mother "I'm no…! I'm not a monster!"
"You're not worthy" Ursa said, raising a hand and pointing at Azula… no. At Sokka "And you will lose everything"
"I won't let you! I won't…!" Azula started…
But her hold on Sokka suddenly weakened: hands grasped at her, pulled her away from him, and it didn't matter how hard she tried to hold onto her lover, she wasn't strong enough…
When she raised her eyes again, she found Ozai standing behind a beaten, bloodied Sokka who had been forced to his knees.
There was fire in her father's hands, and that dead, mindless expression on his face spoke for itself: there was only one outcome for this nightmare.
"NO! STOP! FATHER, DON'T!" Azula shouted, trying to wrestle off the restraints around her, but nothing worked: she was powerless. She was helpless. And it was all…
It was all because of her mother. She had showed up only to destroy it all, to put an end to Azula's rise through the Fire Nation… worst of all, to end the life of the man Azula had given her heart to.
"I… I'm sorry I broke my promise" Sokka whispered, and her heart seemed to fail upon hearing those words from him again "I love you, Azula…"
"NO! SOKKA, FIGHT BACK! SOKKA, PLEASE…!"
"He cannot fight the inevitable, and neither should you" Ursa's voice reached her, as though it came from everywhere and nowhere at once: Ozai raised his hands, his fire ready to deliver a killing blow "Your selfishness has condemned the man you claim to love… if you truly loved him, you would have held back: you knew you would be the death of him if he were yours for good, yet that didn't deter you. But a monster like you could destroy even that which you claim to love. Now he faces his doom… and so do you"
Ozai's hands swept down in an arch, like blades poised to remove Sokka's head…
"STOP! NO! SOKKA!"
"Azula, Azula…!"
Suddenly she was clinging to her lover's body again, her heart racing, cold sweat drenching her brow. How was she holding him, though? Her father had been about to kill him, had she saved him somehow?
Sokka clasped her face in his hands, raising it as though to study her carefully regardless of the darkness around them. Upon opening her eyes with a start, Azula realized there were tears blurring her eyesight: where the hell were they? What was going on, where was her mother, where was her father…?
"Sokka…?" she said, her voice weak and broken. He breathed out in relief when she spoke his name, and he kissed her brow before hugging her tightly.
The sleeping bag underneath them helped her assess her surroundings better, despite she couldn't quite see anything yet: it had been a dream. A dark, disturbing dream… they were in a tent, in the outskirts of Si Wong Desert, nowhere near the Fire Nation Capital, let alone the Palace…
"Shit… what the hell was that?" Sokka said, through gritted teeth.
"I… I don't know" Azula muttered, closing her eyes as she clung to him "I'm just… glad it's over"
"Me too" he answered, pressing soft kisses to the top of her head.
His words, so soothing and comforting, brought a frown to her face before long. Her blurry eyes adjusted to the darkness slowly, and she raised her head towards him, only for Sokka to cover her face with desperate kisses right away. Had she screamed in her sleep, perhaps? Why would he be so frantic without even knowing what she'd seen in her dreams…?
"Sokka…" she called him again, caressing his chest gently "W-was I talking in my sleep or…?"
"I… don't know. I hope not" Sokka said, slowing his kisses: his eyes were full of concern, though… which brought her to wonder, again, why that would be the case "I didn't wake up until a moment ago. S-so if you were calling for me or something, I… I'm sorry, but I didn't hear it"
"Then why are you so…?" Azula said, before her eyes widened "You dreamt it too? T-that nightmare…?"
"Well, I had a nightmare, but… I don't know if it was the same as yours" Sokka said, swallowing hard "That'd be weird. I know we have attuned chi and all, but could we really be connected to the point of sharing dreams? Sounds… surreal"
"No idea" Azula said, lowering her gaze "What happened in yours?"
"I barely know where to start" Sokka said, closing his eyes tightly "But… Rhone was in it"
"Rhone?" Azula repeated, frowning.
"Yeah, guess we didn't have the same dream after all" Sokka concluded, kissing her brow "I don't know what was going on, but… he found something. A weapon of some sort… It looked like a guandao. He wasn't alone, he seemed to be leading some sort of group… come to think of it, I didn't see the guy who used to sponsor him amongst them. They were all strangers for me and they all seemed scared of him… and I have no idea why I could see them at all, it must have been some sort of out-of-body experience in dreams, I guess… because the next thing I knew, I was standing in this burning building somewhere else, it seemed familiar but I couldn't really place it, and I can't place it now either. And then… then I was running as fast as I could because I knew you were in danger, I don't even know how, but I was sure you were. But by the time I reached you…"
"You were too late?" Azula asked, when Sokka paused, unable to utter another word.
She couldn't remember seeing Sokka's face contorted into such sheer agony before, not during all his recoveries and the injuries he had sustained. Again, he hugged her tightly, burying his face in her shoulder. She breathed deeply, rubbing his shoulders to offer him some comfort, but if the gesture didn't work, she would hardly be surprised.
"I kind of… dreamt about that, too" she whispered, and Sokka raised his head again, looking at her in chagrin: his eyes were tearful as well, though he seemed to be more skilled at holding back the tears than Azula was "Not the same dream, I mean… but I dreamt you were about to be executed. By my father"
Sokka's jaw dropped: he seemed to want to say something, but he couldn't find the words. Azula gritted her teeth, her body shivering violently while her fingers caught the fabric of his clothes, clutching at him harder still. Memories of the nightmare still flashed through her mind, so vivid and powerful she could hardly believe this was reality rather than that… and yet she was grateful, profusely grateful, that it was the case.
"It wasn't just him, though" Azula said, her voice trembling "We… we had arrived at the Palace, you and I, and we were so happy until… u-until my mother showed up"
"Your mother?" Sokka asked, perplexed.
"Yeah, though she was worse than anything I could possibly remember of her…" Azula said, shaking her head "I don't know why she was like that, I don't get it… it was awful. She looked down on you, and you… you weren't even fighting back against it"
"Your nightmare's not getting my personality right, then…" Sokka said with a mild pout, and Azula laughed softly.
"No, it really didn't" she admitted "I wanted you to bite back, to stand your ground, but you backed off. And I argued with her about you, about everything, but she didn't care for anything I had to say. She also had my father completely wrapped around her finger, something just as outlandish to me as imagining you being reverent and obedient towards anyone. She caught us together later, and that's when… when he was going to do it. T-to execute you, by her command…"
"Azula…"
"It makes no sense, none of it" Azula said, gritting her teeth and clinging onto Sokka "My father's bad enough on his own, he doesn't need my mother's say-so to do awful things and I know it. S-so why…?"
"Sounds to me like we were dreaming about our worst fears, to a fault" Sokka said, stroking her hair calmingly… much as he had in the dream, Azula realized. It was telling, though, that as comforting as this was, it wasn't quite enough to make her drop her guard altogether, unlike how it had been there "But why? Why would we both dream about the same thing, to some extent, at the same time?"
"I have no idea" Azula whispered, shaking her head "But I sure hope it never happens again. I… I hadn't even thought about my mother in this light in ages. At least since the festivals two years ago, and back then I tried to wrap my head around the possibility that maybe my understanding of her was wrong. That maybe her coming back wouldn't be, well, t-the worst idea ever. But after this…"
"It was just a dream. A really weird dream, just like mine" Sokka said, kissing her brow softly "Don't take it for a fact, we're not going to be stupid enough to get caught…"
"Heh, considering how effectively we've protected our secret these days, I don't know about that" Azula said, raising her head towards him. Sokka smiled weakly, his thumb brushing her cheek.
"I know, maybe you don't feel all that encouraged, especially after a dream like this one… but a dream is all it was. Same as mine" he said, though he swallowed hard with his final sentence.
The vacant look in his eyes told Azula he was back to pondering what he'd seen in his mind, and she leaned in to press her lips to his, reclaiming his attention forcefully, urgently. The gesture reeled him back from the abyss he had been peering down, and he breathed out in relief once their lips parted.
"Everything's fine" Sokka whispered, almost as a mantra "We're okay. We're both still here, and those dreams… however real they might have seemed, they weren't. We're in the middle of this crazy race, and that's all we should focus on…"
"Maybe it is, but I don't think either of us will be in good enough shape to do that if we don't talk about this properly" Azula said, smiling weakly "Thank the universe for Kori and Sneers… I don't even want to imagine how I would have reacted if I'd woken up without you beside me"
"We probably would've torn our tents down on our way to each other" Sokka smiled, and Azula laughed at the image.
"And we'd make sure everyone would know we're together with that" she said, shaking her head "Oh, we're hopeless, Sokka…"
"Definitely. But we're strong enough to chase away each other's nightmares when we need to, right?" he said. He prodded her nose with his own, and Azula sighed happily at his assessment.
"Always have been. But this is truly strange, no matter how we may look at it… maybe it's the desert's fault?" she suggested.
"Maybe we were too tired after the race?" Sokka said "Might be we're dehydrated, and we didn't know it…"
"If that can induce wild nightmares… maybe" Azula said, sighing "Though we did eat and drink plenty after yesterday's stage was finished, so I don't know if we could be dehydrated. At any rate… I'm afraid I'm not going to fall asleep again easily"
"Me neither" Sokka admitted, closing his eyes…
The image of Rhone holding that strange spear had been so vivid, so strong it had seemed as though he was watching it happen directly. The details were already vanishing… but the image of Azula's limp body, her lifeless eyes turned towards him, was bound to haunt him for years. Of all things, failing to protect her, to save her, was the most terrifying thought that had ever occurred to him. She was strong, so much stronger than anyone else he knew… but if she ever were to deal with an enemy she couldn't defeat, he knew it would be up to him to stand by her side and fight in her stead. So how on earth had it even happened? Why would he have left her alone when danger was coming her way…?
"The actual Rhone didn't have a spear, did he?"
Sokka was brought out of his miserable train of thought by Azula's question. She seemed to want to make sense out of his dream, even if Sokka was sure she was still profoundly disturbed by her own. His heart churned with love for her, wishing he could do more to help her overcome her fears, for that was exactly what she intended to do for him.
"N-no, he… he never did. Not when I first fought him, not when we met him again" Sokka confirmed, pressing soft kisses to Azula's brow again.
"Strange that you'd dream of something so specific" Azula said, frowning "He… he wasn't the one to kill me, was he?"
"I… I don't know" Sokka admitted, gritting his teeth "By the time I got there, you were alone. Whoever had done it was… was gone. But… shit, he couldn't possibly want you dead anymore, could he? You saved him from Seethus…"
"It was a dream, you said. There's no reason to think he's really up to something sinister like that" Azula whispered, kissing his lips softly "Otherwise… well, I ought to track down my mother and lock her up somewhere as far away from you as possible, right?"
"Right" Sokka said, smiling a little.
"A guandao, though…" Azula repeated, biting her lip "A really ridiculous thought springs to mind with that"
"Ridiculous? How so?" Sokka asked.
"Just… there's a legendary spear that would suit Rhone's murderous intent terribly well" Azula shrugged "But it's just a legend, it's nothing to…"
"Wait, is it that weird spear you told me about ages ago?" Sokka asked, frowning. Azula blinked blankly.
"I… I did tell you, didn't I? Back when we were in the armory at the Palace…"
"The… Massacre Spear?" Sokka asked, blinking blankly, and Azula laughed.
"Bloodlust Spear, actually" she said "But like I said, it's a legend and there's nothing to prove such a spear ever existed. I'm only bringing it up because it was supposed to be a guandao too, and Rhone probably would be thrilled to have some crazy spear that wants to kill everyone just as badly as he does… or as badly as he did, anyways. Maybe what happened with Seethus changed his mind a little"
"Come to think of it, I wouldn't bet on that" Sokka sighed in defeat, but his brow remained furrowed. It was Azula's turn to kiss his face, pressing her lips softly to the bridge of his nose until his eyebrows eased up gently "Azula…"
"No need to be so worried… like I said, that spear is just some ridiculous tale, nothing to take seriously" she spoke quietly, her voice so gentle Sokka couldn't hold back the urge to embrace her tightly again, finding comfort in resting with his head against her chest "And if it weren't, what are the chances that Rhone, of all people, would be the one to find it?"
"No idea. Hopefully not as good as the chances that you, of all people, would find a dragon inside a cave…" Sokka smiled, and Azula huffed.
"Or that you would manage to tame a wild moose lion?" she asked, prompting him to laugh against her chest "But see, it's you and I. Weird things happen around us all the time, and we stand out because of that. As far as I can tell, Rhone isn't like us"
"No, he probably isn't" Sokka conceded, closing his eyes and relaxing in Azula's arms "Still, our dreams don't make any sense, because, even if it was supposed to be that spear… why would I dream about it? I haven't even thought about that thing since you first explained the legend to me, all those years ago. And you have been making peace with your mother's memory for the last year and a half, so…"
"It's weird, yeah" Azula sighed "Though… it's hardly the first time I've dreamed about my mother. But back when we went to Ember Island it was actual memories, not some horrifying glimpse at what our lives could be like if…"
"Wait, what?" Sokka said, raising his head as he frowned in curious confusion "You… you dreamt about your mother when we went to Ember Island? Is that why you were so troubled back then…?"
"Oh… I didn't tell you that, did I?" Azula said, smiling in disbelief "Well, damn. I'm sorry I didn't explain things then, though I wasn't exactly in the habit of communicating my problems properly back in the day, so I guess that's why I didn't. At any rate, it was shortly before we went there, but I… I had a dream where I relived, well, the day where she said I was a monster. I mean, she didn't exactly say it that way, but that was the intent nonetheless…"
"And that's what had been bothering you those days" Sokka finished. Azula nodded.
"I didn't dream about it again after that one time, to be honest, but I couldn't stop thinking of it, or its consequences, either. My clash with my mother happened before Iroh's siege in Ba Sing Se began, just when he and Lu Ten were leaving… things between me and her were going downhill, and it was no better with me and Zuko either. I did some things my mother disapproved of… and my father encouraged me to not care about her opinion, once I told him what had happened. He… he told me I was superior, stronger than everyone else, that I had nothing to fear because they were the ones afraid of me, of what I could do. He wanted me to stop crying, and to defy my mother without being emotionally compromised the next time she tried to hold me back… so I guess my dream makes even less sense in light of all those things, doesn't it?"
"They had a complicated relationship, huh?" Sokka asked, and Azula nodded.
"They did, and the idea of my father simply… obeying my mother's every demand seems so out of place" she said "Even at their better moments they were nothing like that"
"Guess our minds are playing bad tricks on us…" Sokka sighed, kissing her lips softly "Do you think we should try sleeping again at all, or…?"
"Honestly?" Azula said, with a grimace "I'm not sure. Maybe we won't have any other creepy dreams, but I don't know if it'll work as easily as that. Besides, it'll probably be dawn soon…"
"Maybe we could go outside, then. Sit by one of the bonfires they built, if it's still on…" Sokka suggested, caressing her arm gently "If it's not, you can get it running again in no time, right? Nights in deserts are unexpectedly cold, seems to me. I can find us some firewood if there's none left, too…"
"Yeah… I guess that's not the worst idea" Azula said, smiling weakly "Let's do it"
Once Sokka was dressed, they were silent and cautious as they slid out of the tent, raising the flaps subtly so they wouldn't attract much attention. The rows of tents seemed perfectly still at first sight, but muffled voices could be heard from some of them: they weren't the only ones awake right now. As much as they didn't want to get caught, the reason why those people might be awake was distressing in its own right: had others had disturbing dreams as well? The Princess and her gladiator exchanged a confused glance before Azula gestured towards her assigned tent.
"I'll go get my armor, shouldn't take long" she said. Sokka nodded promptly, following her but only to stand guard at the tent's entrance, crouching before it.
Azula had hoped, deeply, to find Sneers and Kori perfectly asleep. She didn't expect them to be awake, yet she wasn't surprised by it either, not after having heard voices as soon as she and Sokka had climbed out of their tent.
Kori raised her head towards Azula, tension draining from her shoulders once she recognized the Princess. She nodded in her direction: there was something dark, confused in her eyes, but it was nothing compared with the horror in Sneers' empty stare. He was clutching his head between his hands, trembling violently: the sight of him was enough to confirm they'd had unsettling dreams of their own.
"I'm just… going to get my armor" Azula said, gritting her teeth.
"Y-yeah, yeah, that's… yeah" said Kori, absent-mindedly as Azula moved through the tent.
Azula gathered her belongings, the clothes she'd changed out of when she'd turned in that evening, and her armor as well. She glanced at the young earthbender: her arm was draped around Sneers's shoulders, even though it appeared that he was hardly registering her company.
"I take it you guys… dreamt disturbing things as well?" Azula asked: those words brought Kori out of her daze, her eyes focusing on the Princess despite the darkness in the tent.
"I… I guess. I saw some battle in Yu Dao, but I… I don't know what it was. I didn't understand it" she said, swallowing hard "I think you might have been there, b-but the fire all around was orange, not like yours, so maybe it wasn't you…"
"Oh?" said Azula, raising her eyebrows.
"My parents and some soldiers were there as well, but everyone looked to you… I don't know, it was weird" Kori said, taking a deep breath "Sneers, though… he relived the worst day of his life, it seems. W-when his friends were…"
Azula's brow was drawn into a confused frown. Sneers dreamt of the past? Azula had dreamt of something impossible, and Sokka might have dreamt of the future, Kori as well…? Whatever was happening, it truly seemed inexplicable, with no pattern to it other than the fact that everyone witnessed these strange visions through dreams…
"You and Sokka had them too…?" Kori asked, and Azula nodded.
"We're just going to sit outside, hopefully shake it all off by doing that" she explained "You're both welcome to join us, if you feel like it"
"Thanks… but I think we'll stay here for a little longer, at least" said Kori, turning to Sneers again.
Azula merely nodded in acknowledgement, slipping out of the tent without another word. Just one glance at Sokka told her he had listened in on the conversation, and as confused as he was, he bore that frown that colored his face with curious determination. He wanted to understand this, just as much as she did. Had everyone been affected? What was the source, the reason why they'd had such unusual, vivid dreams?
Once Azula had dressed up in the safety of their tent and they had returned to a now-empty bonfire site, there was a brightening line in the horizon signaling dawn's impending arrival. Azula wasted little time lighting the kindling that remained in the heart of the extinguished bonfire and Sokka watched the flames blazing in different colors, taking Azula's natural blue first only to shift into orange once she had stopped bending it.
"I wonder why she'd dream of me bending orange flames, if it was truly me…" Azula said, eyes trained on the fire before her.
"Could be you had set something on fire, just like this, and you weren't bending it anymore" Sokka suggested. Azula snorted in response.
"Well, simplistic but possible" she admitted, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly "A battle, though? Even if I were to fight one… I can't quite imagine myself fighting one with the Morishita family behind me. If I were to fight any battles at all, you'd be the one I'd have by my side"
"Might be I was holding down the fort elsewhere" Sokka suggested, with a smirk "But it's true that I'd definitely have to be there. Then again, it… it could just be a dream?"
"Did it feel that way with yours?" Azula asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Well… no. But yours was just a dream" Sokka said, shrugging "The way you described it, it sounded like your mother had never even vanished, right?"
"Yeah… I couldn't quite remember that she had" Azula admitted "I was pretty embarrassing in that dream, I have to admit…"
"And why's that?" Sokka asked, amused.
"I was so emotional… too emotional" she said, grimacing "I've certainly tapped more into my less-than-rational side ever since I've known you, but to that extent? You merely told me you didn't want to do anything risky in public and I reacted as though you'd ripped my heart out of my chest and chopped it to bits in my face…"
"Well, damn. That's overly dramatic for sure" Sokka chuckled "Cut me some slack, girl, you know I'd kiss you in front of the whole world if I could…"
"Yeah, which is why I'm embarrassed at myself" Azula smiled "I know full well why we can't do anything stupid like that…"
"I guess your dream-self was far more honest about her desires than you are, eh?" Sokka smirked "At least, less restrained about them"
"I've barely restrained myself in the past months and neither have you" Azula said, raising her eyebrows as Sokka chuckled "Do you really want us to be less restrained yet? By doing what, defiling my father's throne room once we go home or something?"
"Oh?" Sokka said, a devious, quick grin spreading over his face as his eyes glinted with mischief. Azula's jaw dropped at his reaction.
"No! I was only joking, you can't just…! Oh, now you'll never stop picturing that, will you?"
"Well, it is a beautiful picture to picture, you know…" he snickered, closing his eyes as he envisioned the scene in his head "Would give you something to laugh about at every council meeting whenever your dad is giving pretentious speeches, eh? The knowledge that you did something oh, so filthy on his sacred seat…"
"Stop it!" Azula said, though she was flustered and amused just as he was. Sokka snickered, hugging his knees as he rocked back and forth in a silly way to stave off his amusement.
"Guess we have something urgent to do now, once we return to the Fire Nation!" Sokka laughed with abandon, and Azula held back the urge to press her face against his shoulder as she laughed with him.
The reach of that dark dream was receding as their reality, once again bright and hopeful, defeated the desperation those images had filled their hearts with. However confusing as these dreams had been, they had the perfect chance to chase away the worst of the nightmares by sitting together by that fire. As the world beyond them grew lighter, black skies shifting into a deep blue that lightened as their world spun on itself, so did the dangerous, depressing thoughts fade in the face of the blissful safety they found in each other's company.
The flap of a tent not far behind them rustled: both Azula and Sokka stopped laughing immediately, turning to find a young man slipping out of the tent. Despite they hadn't met before, his features resembled the Dark Rook's so much that Sokka immediately placed him as the non-bender's twin brother.
"Oh, sorry. Were we too noisy?" Sokka asked, foregoing any introductions as the young man eyed them warily. While there was depth to his eyes, and the frown on his face would befit someone much older than him, Azula could tell he was younger than either her or Sokka.
The Light Bearer shook his head slowly, blinking as he released the tent flap carefully. He stepped towards the fire, guided to it as though it were a beacon to a better place than where he'd been before.
"If it's your noise what woke me… I ought to thank you, if anything" he said, with a deep voice.
"Oh. Nasty dream too?" Sokka asked. The Light Bearer frowned, finally turning his head to study them: as much as he had been awake before, he only seemed to truly snap into consciousness right now.
"Y-you mean… you had one too?" he asked. Sokka nodded.
"We both did" he clarified, gesturing at Azula. The Light Bearer gritted his teeth, looking at them sympathetically "And then our roommates did too… I guess everyone is either having a bad dream right now or waking from one?"
"That… that seems unnatural. I don't understand…" said the Light Bearer, clenching a fist and glancing back at his tent "Maybe I should wake my brother, if that's the case. I'd rather he's not troubled by unpleasant dreams too"
"Don't wake Koshing, though" Azula said, surprising the firebending gladiator "I suspect you and your brother have been through plenty of pain by his hand as it is. If he's dreaming of something terrible, it's a light form of revenge to let him suffer through it… not like he can blame you for the thoughts his own mind gives him, can he?"
"He'd find a way to do it if he could" the Light Bearer sighed, shaking his head "But… I admit, I wouldn't have woken him even if you had told me to. However petty it might be… if he's seeing anything as unpleasant as what I saw, I'd rather he endures it to the end"
"That's the spirit" Azula said. The Light Bearer actually smiled at them before nodding once more.
"I might be back in a bit, then. With my brother. Sitting by a fire actually sounds appealing right now" he admitted, sighing before ducking away into his tent once more.
Sokka released a deep breath, arching his back as he gazed at the sky: the stars were receding now, although they had offered an incredible spectacle earlier that night. As much as he enjoyed the cover of darkness, for it had often been the mantle that protected him and Azula from all prying eyes, he could barely wait for the sun to rise today.
"A dream plague" Azula said, with a disbelieving snort "Have you ever heard of something similar?"
"Honestly, no" Sokka conceded, still leaning back "I'd think we've been given some really bad food, like poisoned mushrooms or something, but I have no idea if this can be explained so rationally…"
"So you think the explanation is more surreal than that?" Azula asked, smirking with amusement "Spirits did it, you think?"
"Hey, now, I don't know how real spirits might be, I just know I don't believe in them" Sokka said, raising his hands defensively "I don't believe in the Fire Nation's ideologies either, doesn't make them any less real for the losers that do believe in that drivel"
"Losers, huh?" Azula smiled "Have a care with your words, gladiator. You don't know which susceptibilities you might hurt with them…"
"Eh, I know you're not going to mind my honesty, Princess" Sokka smirked.
"Back to the subject, though… I'm not so sure my nation's ideologies of supremacy can compare to spirits altering people's dreams" Azula said "For one thing, I'd assume the first thing would be far more harmful, despite what it might look like when you're in the middle of those dreams… for another, what exactly does a spirit gain from doing this?"
"You're asking me?" Sokka smirked "I barely can puzzle out actual people sometimes, Azula. Don't expect me to figure out a spirit when I've never even seen one"
"My point is, while it's terribly coincidental that everyone has disturbing dreams at the same time, isn't there just as much evidence of spiritual nonsense taking place than just mass food poisoning manifesting itself through hallucination-like dreams?" Azula suggested, with a shrug. Sokka chuckled.
"Guess you could be right, but I'm just saying…"
"She's not"
The certainty of the words, paired with the stern voice that spoke them, set Azula on her guard immediately. She frowned as she turned her head to glare at her uncle: the unaffected, stern scowl he ever reserved for her these days was already emblazoned across his countenance.
"Ah, and you know that for sure, do you?" Azula said, without missing a beat. The only way to deal with Iroh was by showing him as few weaknesses as possible, especially after Crescent Island's Summit.
"You were not the only ones to suffer nightmares you would like to forget" Iroh said, curtly.
"We're aware, yeah. We've already spoken with a few others who had their own nightmares" Sokka said, shrugging "Do you have a better idea of what's happening, by any chance? Or are you picking a bone with us even before today's stage begins?"
"Perhaps I should be doing that" Iroh said, and he smirked slightly at Sokka… only for the expression to fade just as he gestured towards the thicket of jungle trees that spread beyond the sands of the desert, the same trees Foo-Foo had vanished through "That is no ordinary forest, or jungle, or whatever you might believe it is. It's a swamp… the Foggy-Bottom Swamp, as some call it"
"Huh. I think I read the name once…" Sokka said, stroking his chin.
"And what makes this swamp so extraordinary?" Azula asked, still utterly skeptical of Iroh's words.
"It is one of the most spiritually charged locations in the world" Iroh said. He stood with his back to her, but even so, he knew his niece would be rolling her eyes about his last claim already "At its center stands a banyan-grove tree, with roots so large it is said the swamp itself is merely an extension of the main tree…"
"And how exactly is that supposed to induce nightmares in people?" Azula asked "A large, old tree hardly sounds like an explanation to me"
"It's not an explanation as those you're used to" Iroh said, finally turning towards her again "Spiritual matters do not answer to human logic or reason. Why would the tree induce such dreams? It's a true mystery. And yet it is undoubtedly true, for this is not the first time I've witnessed this phenomenon. That swamp… it manifests dreams, hopes, what was lost and what was regained. It also can offer glimpses of your worst fears, the darkest recesses of your mind, all the pain you have ever sought to escape from. Does it make any sense? Perhaps not. But few are likely to sleep in the vicinity of the swamp without being affected by its spiritual power"
"So… does this mean you've been here before?" Sokka asked, raising an eyebrow "What, on some assignment or so, back in the day…?"
"Indeed" Iroh said "My travels have brought me here in the past, but I avoid the swamp if I can do so. There is no telling whether it will be dreams or nightmares if you're too close… in fact, entering the swamp itself is a truly dangerous gambit. You may find your darkest dreams, or elements of them, manifesting themselves in broad daylight. Few can withstand the visions of the swamp without breaking in the process.
"Is that so?" Azula said, frowning "Well, then, I suppose I shall consider that as one potential explanation. The chances for hallucinations via food poisoning are still pretty decent"
"Or maybe it's sunburn-induced hallucinations!" Sokka chimed in now, and Azula smirked.
"Could be a mix of both"
Iroh sighed, shaking his head. Going by his reaction, he hadn't expected the pair to listen to him, but he had bothered telling them about this for a reason, hadn't he…?
That realization only dawned upon Azula moments after her uncle walked away, to speak with some of the staff members who had woken – all of them looking restless and nervous, no doubt victims of their own nightmares. She scowled at Iroh's shape before leaning closer to Sokka, not enough to make it too suspicious, but enough that the Light Bearer, the Dark Rook and the many other gladiators and sponsors who had joined their bonfire wouldn't be able to listen in on their conversation.
"I have no idea if he was bluffing or messing with us… but I have the mild suspicion he shared that funny story about the swamp just to make sure we won't take an alternate route for this stage" Azula growled. Sokka's brow furrowed.
"Well, I'm not going to pretend he wouldn't be that petty, considering he's shown otherwise for ages now…" Sokka admitted, shaking his head "But if he's not bluffing, we could end up caught in some crippling hallucinations in that weird swamp, right?"
"Indeed" Azula said "And if he is bluffing, I suppose we'd end up playing into his hands by avoiding the swamp… but it doesn't sound like that'd be much of a problem, if you ask me. I know they won yesterday's stage, and they're certainly ahead of us in the race right now, points-wise… but it's entirely possible that being more straight-forward in our approach to this stage could be a good idea"
"So… no avoiding the enemies this time?" Sokka asked, smiling "We go all-out on them?"
"I suppose we should, at least for once" Azula smirked "And if we're lucky, we'll get to cross paths with Iroh and Toph… and by then I suppose we'll see, directly, which is the better combination of sponsor and gladiator, huh?"
"Most likely" Sokka snickered.
"Where is she, by the way?" Azula asked, glancing about herself, seeking a short, dark-haired woman amongst the people already loitering in the campsite: the sun had risen by now, and while it had been quite the spectacle to behold for some gladiators, Azula and Sokka had been too caught in their conversation with Iroh to pay it proper attention.
"Toph?" Sokka asked, though he answered Azula's question with a shrug "Beats me. Seems unlike her not to be riling herself up for winning today's stage too… but maybe she had a creepy dream as well?"
"Maybe" Azula said, and Sokka snickered loudly enough for her to shoot him a meaningful glare "What?"
"Go find her, silly" he said, shaking his head "You're worried, so go check on her and make sure she'll be in proper shape for us to fight her today. Otherwise, defeating her and Iroh won't feel right for either of us"
"Fair enough" Azula smiled, patting his shoulder before standing up. Her muscles were sore after the excessive exercise they'd undergone over the past two days: she suspected that sensation wouldn't recede until they were halfway to Ba Sing Se, long after the race was finished.
Sokka watched her walk away again, an acute sensation of loneliness nestling in his chest as her silhouette vanished amidst the tents. How clever of him to suggest she should talk to Toph without considering that the best way to chase away his personal nightmare was to stay beside her, to talk with her, to bask in her laughter. Separating from Azula seldom was easy… but that wretched dream had certainly seen to it that he'd be even more anxious about it from now on.
Focused deeply on his plight, Sokka didn't quite notice someone else had approached the bonfire until the man had sunk into the seat Azula had vacated moments ago.
"Ruan?" Sokka called the man, who seemed just as absent-minded as the Light Bearer had been earlier. Still, the Sentinel Knight raised his head towards Sokka and nodded in his direction.
"Is it okay if I sit here for now?" he asked. Sokka shrugged but smiled.
"I don't mind. Though… you have nightmare-face, like most of us. Guess they got you too?"
"Yeah, I heard other people say they've had disturbing dreams" Ruan said, scowling "Guess whatever's going on, it affected all of us…"
"According to Azula's uncle, some messed up spirit swamp is responsible" Sokka said, with a shrug "Whether you want to believe him or not depends on how much weight you put into that kind of thing, I suppose"
"If that's how it is, spirits have one seriously twisted sense of humor if they think making us relive our worst memories from the war is fun" Ruan said, shaking his head.
"Is that what you saw? Your worst memories as a child, or as a young soldier…?" Sokka asked.
"As a child, yeah" Ruan said, breathing deeply.
"Guess the Fire Nation scarred us all in many ways. I ought to count myself lucky my nightmare wasn't a memory of those days, even if it was dreadful anyway" Sokka said. Ruan raised his eyebrows.
"Ultimately, sure, the Fire Nation's conquest could be blamed for what I saw…" said Ruan "But they turned out to be the lesser evil in my home village, believe it or not"
"They did?" Sokka frowned, puzzled yet deeply curious all the same. Most stories about the time of the war were light variations on the same theme: the Fire Nation army barging into places they were trying to conquer for themselves, caring little for how many lives were wasted in their pursuit for power. An outlier amongst those stories was so rare he wasn't entirely certain he had ever heard of one before now.
"Their soldiers did show up at my village" Ruan explained "But… most of them were injured. They didn't want to conquer us, they just wanted help tending their wounds and recovering. They promised not to attack us, not to conquer, in exchange for treatment… and believe it or not, they upheld their vow. But when Earth Kingdom soldiers caught wind of what was happening… they branded my entire village as traitors"
"It was the Earth Kingdom army that attacked you?" Sokka asked, eyes wide.
"And the Fire Nation soldiers we treated who tried to defend us. I wouldn't even be alive right now if it weren't for one who saved my life" Ruan sighed "I know, this is no reason to think the Fire Nation is blameless… but it certainly taught me a lot about idolizing the Earth Kingdom soldiers as I had as a young child. I was just as distrustful of them as the Fire Nation ones after that"
"I don't hear much about the Earth Kingdom's armies these days… but what I do hear doesn't sound so good" Sokka acknowledged: the story of Jet's group had returned to mind. Ruan shrugged.
"The Earth Kingdom was too vast, too chaotic. The Earth King remained safe from the war within Ba Sing Se's walls, the king in Omashu wasn't much better… The army wasn't a unified force, not the way the Fire Nation's was. Had it been any better organized, more disciplined, then maybe they could have defeated the Fire Nation before Sozin's Comet arrived" Ruan said, shaking his head "But half the soldiers were thugs seeking profit, bullying everyone in the villages they chose to protect, and I use that word loosely. They would just set up absurd taxes, control all trade in the towns, and if anyone didn't play by their rules, they'd pick them up and send them to the army, to be used as bait or to man the frontlines… as good as a death sentence, of course"
"Shit" said Sokka, eyes wide "You're really convincing me I was born in the best place I could've possibly hoped to be born at…"
"The Water Tribes aren't all that likely to do that kind of stuff, huh?" said Ruan, with a weak smile "Ah, but it's… it's in the past. I do wish that the Earth Kingdom hadn't fallen… but that doesn't mean it was flawless, or a good place, even before it did"
"I'd think it had potential to grow into a better place, though" Sokka said "If the Earth Kings had been more responsible… it could have been the strongest nation on the planet"
"It was for a long time, from the stories we always heard" Ruan shrugged "People used to say the Fire Nation had only risen up as it did to contest the Earth Kingdom's position as the leading nation of our world. But if that's what they were doing, they sure as hell proved we weren't good enough to defeat them, didn't they?"
"Not like it justifies what they did" said Sokka, sighing "Besides, they needed some funky comet to help them, didn't they? If earthbenders ever had some sort of environmental advantage, they'd probably prove they're superior just the same"
"Probably. But I don't know of anything like that" said Ruan, with another shrug "Did you dream of something similar, by any chance? Or…"
"Nah, mine wasn't my worst memory, though I have a fair share of those anyhow" said Sokka "It looked like… I don't know, a horrible possibility in the future, maybe. One I might have to work really hard to prevent, if there's any truth to it. The swamp seems to have affected everyone differently, I think. Some people saw the past, others saw possible futures… others saw impossible things. But I guess the one thing everyone has in common so far is that it was dreadful"
"I hope you can prevent what you saw, then" said Kuan, closing his eyes "If it's as painful as what those memories were for me… then at least yours might have some purpose. It could have been a warning, right?"
"If so, the spirits were awfully cruel and helpful at once, huh?" said Sokka, with a crooked smile "I honestly wonder if anyone here had a vision that wasn't completely horrible…"
It wouldn't be Sokka who would come across someone whose dream wasn't quite as disturbing as the rest, though: well outside the camp's edge, Azula finally spotted the young earthbender sitting cross-legged, alone, facing the thicket of vegetation that concealed the swamp. Had it been anyone but Toph, Azula would have wondered if she was meditating… but as it was, she merely made her way to her friend, finding her frowning, though not with the same deeply anguished expression on her face as most other people bore.
"Hey, Spicy" she said, without raising her head towards the Princess.
"I take it Iroh told you the weird swamp is to blame for whatever you dreamt about too?" Azula asked, gazing at the lines of trees beyond them.
"He did. He… he dreamt about his son's death, I think" Toph muttered. As unwilling as Azula was to feel any sympathy for her uncle these days, the only matter in which they would still have common ground was Lu Ten's untimely demise. She swallowed hard and nodded.
"He seemed to have calmed down by the time we saw him, though" Azula said.
"I think he doesn't need a swamp to remind him of that day" Toph said "Pretty sure it comes to his mind all the time, he's learned to get on with his life despite that"
"I see… makes enough sense" Azula said, breathing deeply "And you? Had a disturbing dream of your own? Seems odd for you to be all withdrawn and lonely otherwise…"
"I… I guess you all did have those, huh?" said Toph, swallowing hard.
"Well, yeah. You didn't?" Azula asked, frowning as she took her seat beside her.
"Well, I did have a dream. But… it was confusing, not disturbing" Toph said, swallowing hard.
"Ah? Not a past memory or a weird alternate reality…?" Azula asked, and Toph shook her head before shrugging.
"I… don't know what it was. I really don't. But… when it started I knew I was really mad at Iroh, I didn't know why but I was. I kept running away from him, even though he called and called for me, but then I calmed down when I came across… well, someone. A stranger"
"Oh? A complete unknown, is it?" Azula asked, and Toph nodded.
"I don't know how to describe him. But he had this… happy laugh? And he seemed pretty cheerful despite I could feel he was sad, deep down, too. But… he seemed to embody freedom itself, you know? Like no one else I've ever known. He sounded like a child, but he was a man, and it was as though nothing weighed him down. He offered me his hand, and then I took it and… and I woke up"
"Huh" said Azula, eyes wide "I mean, you being angry at Iroh sounds ominous, but… that last part didn't sound terrible"
"I know, right?" said Toph, grimacing "I'd rather not be mad at Iroh, but I… I really was curious about that guy. It felt like someone I had to look for, or something. Or maybe he'll show up when I least expect him? I don't really know…"
"Freedom, though? That's what you felt when he showed up?" Azula asked, and Toph nodded "Hmm… and, don't get angry when I ask this, it wasn't Jet?"
"Nope" said Toph, though her cheeks reddened at her question "Like I said, totally different guy. I've never met him before. He felt all… weightless, you know? Like his feet were hardly on the ground, but they were there enough that I could sense him. And I sure as heck don't think Jet would laugh the way he did"
"Hmm…" said Azula, biting her lip "Well, who knows. Maybe your dream guy is…"
"Ack, don't call him that!" Toph exclaimed, blushing harder as Azula laughed "Sounds stupid! And he's probably just… no one! There's no way someone like that exists! Everyone I've ever met has recognizable footsteps, they all have to walk to get places, you know? They weigh! But this guy barely did, so…!"
"I guess it sounds like… heh, I don't know, an airbender?" Azula smiled. Toph huffed.
"An airbender? For real?"
"All things considered, air was often called the element of freedom, so… it could be" Azula shrugged.
"Airbenders are all dead, though" Toph said, raising an eyebrow skeptically "So keep that in mind before claiming this weird guy is my soulmate or anything stupid like that"
"Fine, fine, I won't suggest anything quite like that" Azula smirked "I guess Jet won't have any competition, then…"
"Like it should matter if he had any! He's off doing whatever and whoever he wants to do, and I don't give a crap about that!" Toph huffed, her entire face red now "S-so, yeah, if I actually met someone else, I'd be in my right to do whatever I want with them! Which doesn't mean they'd be my soulmate either, so quit laughing at me!"
"It's alright, it's alright" Azula chuckled, patting Toph's head gently "Honestly, I was only checking on you because it was strange to see Iroh without you in this Race. If you're okay, then all's good. Though I will say, you might be the first person, if not the only person, to have a dream that wasn't entirely dreadful last night"
"Really?" Toph asked, raising her eyebrows "What did you dream?"
"Uh… my mother somehow showing up and getting Sokka executed for you-know-what" Azula said, with a dry grin. Toph grimaced.
"Yikes, Spicy. That sounds… wow. I ought to count myself lucky for my laughing airbender, huh?"
"Probably" Azula smiled. Toph pushed herself up to her feet, stretching her arms upwards and then forward.
"Guess we ought to go get some breakfast now, huh? And after that… all this weird dream-induced camaraderie everyone's got going on will vanish, right?" Toph smirked "I bet I can wipe the floor with all of you if you're all that unsettled by your nasty nightmares…"
"Keep dreaming happily, Bandit" Azula smiled, standing up too "Because that just sounds like a delusional continuation of your funny dream to me"
Toph snickered, tossing a fist at the Princess that she caught, as she always did. The two returned to the main group just in time for the staff members to offer them a bowl with breakfast, and they both took their seats by their partner's side while they prepared for the next stage of the race. Haru and Ty Lee joined them before long: unsurprisingly, Ty Lee's nightmares had been about her past, and she seemed quite distraught about them while Haru held her reassuringly. The earthbender appeared troubled, but his confusion was similar to Toph's and Kori's: it was genuine bewilderment, rather than anguish and sorrow for witnessing traumatic events he would have rather kept safely locked away within his memories.
But if there was someone who seemed refreshed, fully rested and even at peace with himself, it was Aonu: Renzhi appeared utterly confused by his sponsor's behavior, even if he didn't seem to reject it altogether. Either Aonu had escaped the reach of the dreams altogether, or he had been privy to a wondrous sight, unlike most everyone else in the campsite.
Bags of food were distributed to each team this time, just before the race resumed – some, like Sokka, complained that it was still too little food. The racing teams were organized the same way as in the previous stage, so the last arrivals would be the first to take off: this time around, Sokka and Azula found themselves further forward in the queue of runners than the fiercest competitors of the event.
"We only have the weakest teams ahead of us, right?" Sokka smiled, hands on his hips "I think going all out isn't the worst idea this time, especially if we can't take shortcuts or detours through this nasty swamp thing…"
"Well, we can, but we shouldn't" Azula said, smirking "There's still some risk to this procedure, though. We could tire out faster, you know? Fighting so many opponents on our way to the top cannot be easy, can it…?"
"Ah, come on, you underestimate us that much?" Sokka asked, amused "You know what? We just need to spice up the competition, just to your liking"
"And what's that supposed to mean?" Azula said, her voice tone already a warning that brought Sokka to chuckle.
"I mean, we shouldn't just challenge our opponents, but each other" he declared, just as the first team took off: this stage would take them through the remainder of the western desert and into a forest. The final stage, a trek across mountains, would finally offer them some respite from the harsh sunlight that was just as unyielding now as it had been on the previous day.
"Challenge each other?" Azula asked, amused "How so?"
"You know… whoever knocks out more opponents gets to eat the other's share of dinner or something like that" Sokka chuckled. Azula couldn't hold back from laughing with him.
"Sounds like very extreme stakes, doesn't it?"
"Hey, if the wager was something menial you wouldn't be inspired enough to do it" Sokka said, raising his hands defensively.
"True" Azula conceded, raising her eyebrows towards him "You sure about this, though? I wouldn't hold back with that kind of challenge, not even when you're the one who has issued it…"
"You think I'd want it any other way, Princess?" Sokka smiled "C'mon. Let's show them how it's done… and let's show each other who loves food best, too, I suppose"
"Ah, I think we both know you do… which is why you'll be crying helplessly once I win" Azula smirked, and Sokka snorted: by now, four teams had taken off and the fifth was about to do so.
"Always so confident, always so quick to underestimate me" Sokka said, shaking his head "You'll see, Princess, you'll see…"
"The defeating blow is the only one that counts" Azula said, raising her head proudly "If I cut in on someone fighting you, and they black out because of my attack, I expect no complaints from you"
"Then the same is true for you" Sokka said, and Azula smiled.
"I think we have a deal, then. Now, let's hope we don't end up trying to beat each other up to settle the score once we win this stage…"
"Taking for granted we're winning it?" Sokka laughed "Sounds like you're underestimating quite a lot of people, not just me…"
"Or I'm estimating them perfectly" Azula smirked, her sharp eyes on the next team to take off.
Each pair dashed out into the desert, ticking away like sand in an hourglass, and soon it would be their turn. Their easygoing approach to the race would finally be over: they had no intentions of losing this time, no matter what opponents tried to get in their way. And if anyone still doubted which was the superior team in the race… well, all their doubts would be certain to fade away in the face of their performance today.
Their turn to take off arrived soon, and they exchanged one final proud smirk before dashing out once their countdown was done, blue fire already blazing in the Princess's hands while Sokka raised his own to unleash his weapons…
Hard, cold stone, unwelcoming and unchanging, had never felt like home to many of those who inhabited the fortress. Most tried to endure the sensation of unfamiliarity, others chose to make their rooms or tents their own, crafting a small haven of certainty amidst the general unrest that could be felt in every conversation, in each wary glare, in the very air they breathed within the imposing building.
One of them, one who had been here longer than many others, had never made any efforts to find comfort here: there was no way to turn this place into her home. That was, perhaps, why she escaped so often. Why she didn't stop running off, always to the same wretched place, to cling to memories so torn, old and broken they scarcely seemed held together anymore… just as the woman herself scarcely seemed to be held together anymore, these days.
But someone had to find her. And as always, he had to be that someone.
The door creaked when he pushed it open. It was no surprise to find the firebending erudite sitting before a lit candle, in the darkest room of the keep. No doubt he didn't want to be disturbed: normally, he would have shouted at him for his interference, but of course, he knew it was warranted this time around.
"She's gone"
Jeong Jeong didn't turn his head right away. His shoulders sank with a sigh as he raised his hands, using his firebending to light other candles in the room. He only turned to face him after putting out the meditation candle's flame, and his face was as expressive in guilt as it was in any other situation.
"What of it?"
The disregard in the question posed by the man nearly did away with all his comrade's careful control: he clenched his fists, feeling like a foolish teenager upon recognizing the surge of impulsive rage inside him.
"Did you encourage her to leave again, by any chance? You must stop doing this. She is valuable, she matters, she can't escape to the swamp every time a dark thought courses through her mind…"
"Why, she certainly doesn't do that. Else she'd spend much longer in it than she already does. Dark thoughts, I believe, is all her mind is left with at this point" Jeong Jeong said, simply "She had one of the dreams last night, the swamp-induced dreams. It unsettled her enough she asked for permission to leave, and I granted it"
"We're at a safe enough distance from the swamp that she should not be affected by the dreams here. If anything, allowing her to visit it so often might be attuning her mind further to the swamp's powers, weakening her natural defenses against it. You cannot be so blind as to not understand that…"
"That you are too attached"
"This is not about attachment, this is about…"
"Dishonesty is not a good color on you, Master Piandao"
He took a deep breath, his jaw squared as he glared in disbelief at Jeong Jeong. Too often it was difficult to believe they were equals in the Order, despite their titles were, by all means, the same. Yet Jeong Jeong ever behaved as though the White Lotus ought to answer to him alone, as though he had worked harder to compose it than the rest… a foolish notion that could have been disproved quite quickly, if anyone bothered to do so. But it wasn't credit what Piandao sought now: it was accountability.
"A man of true honor would also find it dishonest to hide his responsibility in the events he sets in motion" Piandao said "Why is it so difficult for you to simply tell her not to go?"
"Why is it so difficult for you to simply let her go?" Jeong Jeong said "She has a part to play? Says who? Avatar Roku's prophecies are all but broken, and even so, she was never part of them. Why would it matter, Master Piandao, whether she's here or not?"
"Prophecies be damned, she is valuable to the Fire Lord" Piandao said "As long as she's on our side…"
"She has never been on our side. Have you truly been so blinded by your affection for the woman? Her heart only wants one thing…"
"And I have done my best to ensure she understands her true desires are beyond her reach" Piandao said "Yet, somehow, I cannot count on you to help her stop living in the past, for you would rather she's lost in the swamp, wouldn't you? And why is that, truly? Why would you sooner ensure she disappears?"
"Because she won't change" said Jeong Jeong "She hasn't, not in all these years. Not after everything she's heard. She will never be on our side, and as entertained as you may be by allies who cannot be relied upon, like your precious gladiator, I don't care for them, myself"
"And you're the one who determines the Order's course, are you?" Piandao asked "As ever, you take everything into your own hands, consequences be damned. Perhaps it is you, Master Jeong Jeong, who won't ever change, and that has led you to believe the same is true for everyone else"
Jeong Jeong's eyes narrowed: Piandao had already turned around, making his way to the door and up the stairs when Jeong Jeong called for him:
"You do realize you won't be able to save her from herself every single time she needs you to, don't you?" he said, and Piandao's footsteps halted "You won't be able to save her from the pull of the swamp one day. She will be lost to us, by choice, and you will be just as bad as her if you choose to waste your life away searching for what lies beyond your reach"
Piandao squared his jaw, taking a few steps down just so he could meet Jeong Jeong's eyes again. His next words were spoken with the harsh steel of his many blades:
"Then I'll make sure that day is not today"
Piandao resumed his walk, shoulders set, brow furrowed. He could barely count how many times he'd had to do this over the past years: how she had managed to find her way back to the fortress before he had taken residence in it escaped his understanding. But he knew her suffering only worsened every day, and if he didn't go after her anymore, there was no telling if she'd vanish for good, just as Jeong Jeong had claimed she would.
But not today, not this time. He had to find her. He had always promised he would protect her, from the very first time she had run to him, begging for his help: he refused to let her down when she needed him the most.
A/N:
And that was our promised double update! I hope you'll look forward to the next chapter, the Race's heating up still, and we're off to the two last stages across the next three chapters!
As some of you must be aware, today is Gladiator's Anniversary. It's been eight years already, no less, with all the ups and downs that such a commitment typically results in. I've released two new artworks for it, one based on Sokka and Azula's very first encounter (there's a surprise coming up with this one! If you've somehow stumbled into my Youtube channel at some point... stick around and you'll see that surprise very soon!), and the other one based on the Race in general. You can find these artworks on my P/A/T/R/E/O/N and, later today, on my Tumblr blog as well. This is the first year in which my Patrons have been part of the creation of an anniversary artwork, starting from last year we've had a poll every month to select a scene from my fics to turn into an artwork. If you want to be part of the creation of these artworks, even a $1 pledge will allow you to suggest options for each poll, vote for them, and read snippets of Gladiator chapters one week before the chapter is released in full. Feel free to join in on the fun if you can/wish to!
I suppose I could say a lot of things in the face of this big milestone... I guess one of them is that, as I'm writing in advance, it's been a rather heartbreaking thing to look back on the story's very roots, to see it at its peak as it is in the latest published arcs... and to stand where I am now, at the brink of gamechanging events, many chapters ahead. So many conflicted emotions, I tell ya'... it's been a really crazy adventure so far, I've met lots of great people through it, people who have made me better and taught me many important things, and I couldn't be more grateful to all of them. I still have every intention to see this story through to the very end, one doesn't simply spend eight years devoted to a story if one doesn't intend to finish it (?) so I hope you guys stick around too and continue to enjoy the many chapters left of this crazy massive story that has changed my life and that, I hope, has been a positive factor in yours too, one way or another. Thanks for reading!