After Seth Part I
At Dalton, Thad was sitting at his desk now, reviewing his lesson plans for the forthcoming school year one final time before he submitted them. As the principal teacher of the history department, he had the advantage that his subject did not really alter from one year to the next; the emphasis shifted to different events or groups, as the examiners tried to ensure that the students were tested rigorously. Significant anniversaries were always observed, and the social trends of the day also influenced the choice of topics. That meant that this year there would be a lot of teaching around the Vietnam War, and what it meant both at home and internationally; it was after all 50 years since the fall of Saigon the following year. As well as teaching the hard facts, Thad would also be looking at the impact the war had had on Dalton itself. He wondered if he could persuade Principal Carmichael to speak to the boys and reveal his own subversive role to them; how he had organised regular trips to Canada, from which boys that had been selected in the draft regularly failed to return home…
At that moment, his phone began to buzz, disturbing his chain of thought, but he did not complain too much. He glanced at the name on the screen, and wondered momentarily why she would be calling him. In his head he already knew why, but in his heart he hoped that it was not the reason, and that there was something else…
"Thad, I need you to come right now…" said Julia the moment that he answered, and the tone in which she delivered her words told him all he needed to know.
"Okay, I will get there as soon as I can… I take it…"
"Yes, and as a result…" she said, before falling silent; in the background Thad instantly heard the sound of wailing, and his blood ran cold, as he feared the worst.
"I am on my way… Look, keep this to ourselves for now. There is no point in causing any more upset before we absolutely have to."
"Don't worry, I have no intention of telling anyone else; I don't think I could handle that right now. I am going back to him - the front door will be open…"
Julia rang off, and now she was gone, Thad let out a deep breath, and closed his eyes for a moment. Yes, he had known for a while that this moment would come, but now that it had, it felt as if someone had just punched him in the stomach. He shook off his own feelings, and got up, leaving his work where it lay and just grabbing his blazer as he headed for his car. The skies were still clear outside, but he had the feeling that dark clouds would soon extinguish all of the brightness. As he drove away from Dalton, he passed the Carmichaels' house, and part of him wondered if he should have at least warned Aaron of what was coming, so he could prepare. It was too late for that now, he realised; his services were needed elsewhere more urgently….
His drive to Skylar's home was done almost robotically; he took in nothing really of the world around him, safe from the location of the other vehicles on the road, and the stretch of it in front of him. By the time that he pulled up next to the other two cars on the driveway, the ambulance was already there, although Hayden had yet to arrive, having been delayed by an emergency case. Thad hastened up the steps, and he was not even through the door when he heard the heartrending keening sound, and he was broken all over again. He walked in to find the two paramedics and Julia in the hallway.
"Thank goodness you are here. We have a problem; Skylar is refusing point blank to let go of Seth. There is nothing that anyone can do for him now, but because it will be classed as a sudden death, there will need to be a post-mortem, even given the fact he was suffering from MND," began Julia.
"I understand that; to establish the cause of death, to ensure that there was no foul play. These good people have to take his body away for that… In all honesty though, I am not in the least bit surprised that Skylar is having none of it, given how close the two of them were… Still, what needs to be done had to be done, so I will go and speak to him. Give me five, ten minutes alone with him, tops. If he hates me for having to be blunt and brutal with him afterwards, then I will survive."
Julia nodded, then stood aside to let Thad walk into the kitchen. As with Julia earlier, the tableau before him made him want to weep, but he did not. Instead he walked over and squatted down next to Skylar, who was now running a hand gently through Seth's hair again as he continued to weep.
"Skylar, you need to let him go," he said gently, knowing that the quiet approach was unlikely to have any impact, but needing to try it any case. Sure enough though, there was not even a flicker of recognition; no indication that Skylar even knew that he was present. It was time therefore for Plan B. He reached into his blazer pocket, and found exactly what he was looking for with ease…
It had been a gift from the man that he guessed might well have been in the room not that long ago. Thankful for the fact that Skylar and Julia had opted for a woodblock floor in their kitchen, Thad raised Mr Bangy, then brought him down on the floor sharply twice in quick succession.
"Warbler Willetts! This behaviour will not do! It is not the Warbler way!" he said loudly, then lowering his voice so as only to be audible to Skylar, he continued, "And in any case, Seth is not here any more; you know exactly where he is, and who he is with too…"
The moment that the trusty gavel had hit the floor, Skylar had jumped in shock, the report bringing him back to the world around him. The stern tones of Thad and the formal way in which he had spoken to him made Skylar's mind focus on something other than his own despair for a second. The words Thad had just uttered were true, but he was not sure if he was ready to accept that truth yet. He looked up at Thad then, and knew too that Julia must have called him after Hayden, knowing that she would need him as her husband was a complete mess…
"I let him down Thad. I should have been here all day, not just arriving in time to hold his hand in his final moments. If I hadn't been held up at my meeting, if I hadn't gone to work at all today…"
"Then the results would have been the same; this still would have happened," said Thad softly. "You know that as well as I do. Once your name is written in that book, then you have to go when the time comes. If you do not go at that appointed time… Well, you heard exactly what happened with Blaine, and about all the nasty out of character things he did in the following days when he wasn't collected on time. You would always just have had to let this happen…"
"I tried to stop it, I really did. He was choking, and I did all of the right things… But it was no use, he still died," said Skylar, almost as if he had not heard what Thad had just said.
"In that case, Seth died knowing that his best friend had done all that was in his power to try and save his life. He will know that you were there for him, right at the very end…"
"He managed to say two words to me before he stopped breathing, once I had dislodged the obstruction that was causing him to choke. He said Sunny Sky. You know why he said that, don't you?" asked Skylar. Thad nodded, knowing the story of Skylar's cousin, and how as he was dying from leukaemia, he had started to call Skylar his sunshine, his Sunny Sky… "He died in my arms, Thad, and it hurts so much. He was supposed to be an uncle to my kids, and now he will be nothing but a name to them, a man in a photograph with their father…"
"Your children will know exactly who he was because you and all of the rest of us will be keeping his memory alive, every single day. He will never die as long as he is alive in our hearts," said Thad, then much more quietly, he continued, "Of course, you have only lost him on the earthly plane; he will still be around all the time, but on wings, and no longer in pain, no longer suffering…"
"I know," said Skylar with a sniff, "but it will never be the same. Then there is the fact that Julia will not be able to see him… It is going to be so hard managing without him around, Thad. Why could we not have been allowed to keep hold of him for just a little bit longer? I wasn't ready to say goodbye…"
With that, Skylar started to cry again, but thankfully he did not wail as he did so any more. It was obvious that the reality of the situation was starting to get through to him, but there was still the fact that he was clutching tight to Seth's mortal remains… Thad inched closer to Skylar, and got his first good look at Seth's body. The fact that his eyes were still wide open haunted him at once, and he couldn't help but wonder if Wes' eyes had still be open after he…
He shook his head, then took a breath. He was pretty certain that Wes had already collected Seth's soul, but he could pretend that he might not have been able to… He put an arm around Skylar;s shoulders, then said, "Wes told me once that it can be difficult sometimes to free some souls from their earthly body, and often that is because they are being held too close by a relative or a friend. Such a delay can cause pain and even harm to the souls in those instances, which is the last thing that anyone would wish to do. You need to let him go, Skylar. You need to, because once you do, we can be sure that his soul is free to soar. He will be a teenager again, carefree, more or less, in a new body that will not cause him discomfort and misery. He has already suffered so much, and I am sure that you would not want to do anything that would cause him to suffer more…"
Skylar looked up at Thad again, shaking his head, tears still streaming down his face.
"You need to let him go, Skylar. You have to let him go so that all of the processes can begin. They can't hurt him now…" Gently, Thad took hold of one of Seth's hands, then quickly let it go as he felt how cold it had already become. He took a breath, then gently began to slide Seth's body across onto his own lap, out of Skylar's, the tears of the latter turning into sobs again as he allowed Thad to slide him across. "We need to let him go…" repeated Thad, and with Seth's body no longer in contact with his best friend, he gently moved him off of his own lap, laying him onto the kitchen floor. That done, he carefully and with love, closed Seth's eyes…
In a heartbeat after that, he found his arms full of a sobbing Skylar, wailing once again, but thankfully making no attempt to try and grab Seth again. Thad looked over the shoulder of the younger man towards the kitchen door, and nodded to Julia, who had slipped back into view. He felt his own tears begin as the two paramedics came swiftly into the room, and prepared to remove the body to the mortuary at the hospital. Julia was swiping at her own eyes too as she watched with Thad as the two workers lifted Seth's body onto the gurney that they had wheeled in with them, then placed a blanket over his form. It was that final act that broke Thad; the moment that they covered his face he burst into sobs as deep as Skylar's….
Thad allowed himself to wail for a moment as he needed to get through the worst of the pain before he moved on start on the next set of tasks, which was spreading the news of what had happened. He would need to let the Carmichaels know first, which he knew would be horrendous, and then inform the rest of the Warblers. They were all expecting this to happen, but he had been doing so well, and like Skylar, none of them had expected this quite so suddenly. His death would have been heartbreaking at any time, but without any warning it would be twice as bad…
That was when he realised that amongst the other Warblers there would be some that would take it much harder than others. In his freshman year at Dalton, Seth's main friend had been Edward, and they were still close now. Edward had been so upset when he had last seen Seth, and how much he had declined… Thad realised that he needed to be told personally, and not just in a group setting alongside the others. Ideally, he would be able to speak to Colin first, and warn him, so that he could be ready to offer his husband all of the comfort that he could possibly require as his heart was shattered…
As Thad let his tears fall, comforting a devastated Skylar as best as he could, Flint Wilson was cradling his daughter for the first time, wondering as he had done when her brother Aaron had been born how he had managed to help produce someone so beautiful and perfect in every way. He looked across at his wife, now sat up in bed, looking tired but still every bit as attractive and serene as she usually did…
"I know exactly what you are thinking, my love, and I guess that you and I just lucked out in the gene pool somewhere," she said softly. "Having said that, I think that we should definitely stop at two, however much your mother might insist we have more…"
"I don't think she will do that, you know," he replied, walking back towards her bed. "Strangely though it may seem, she isn't all that keen on big families, which might stem from being one of six children herself. True, it might have been a different story if we had just produced another son, but now she will have the granddaughter she secretly craved to spoil as well, so we should not be asked to try again. Of course, this does mean that we will have another ceremony to organise; it means my mother will have to buy a new hat as well, but I think we can live with that." Handing his daughter back to her mother, he continued, "Right, so I guess I need to make a few phone calls. I don't need to call your folks, but I suppose I should try for one of those shore to ship calls; if she doesn't find out as soon as possible, we will never hear the last of it!"
Izzy chuckled, and said, "My parents already know to say they weren't here, and once you get in touch with your mom, make a note of the time, and they will say they found out ten minutes later. Make sure that you call Beats too, as he is probably waiting in anticipation for his phone to ring as well.
Flint laughed then, and replied, "You are probably right about that! Once I have let him know personally, I will make a call to Thad, and he can set the jungle drums well and truly beating." He leant down to kiss his wife and daughter, then headed for the door. As he stepped outside, he suddenly felt uneasy again, a feeling which intensified as he closed the door properly. He half expected his mother to appear, shouting about how he had let his mother-in-law be there, but not her. He dismissed the notion, safe in the knowledge that she was safely on the seas somewhere. Still, it would do no harm to call her as swiftly as he could….
As Flint began to call the number he had been given for the ship, in Westerville Thad was also making a phone call. Skylar had managed to stop crying, and was now sitting in his living room, on the sofa with his wife, but facing away from the window, and a battered old chair that would now be empty. Hayden had finally arrived just as the paramedics had been wheeling the gurney into the ambulance, and after a brief check with Julia to see how everyone was, he had headed back to the hospital to help out with the post-mortem examination, conscious of Seth's wishes for his body to help science after he was gone.
As for Thad, he had been shown into Skylar's study with Julia's approval so he could do what was needed undisturbed, the phone and computer there placed at his disposal. It seemed odd to him to actually have to look up and then dial the number for the Carmichaels, but that was how it was on a landline. As the phone began to ring at the other end of the line, Thad prayed that it would be the former Principal that answered and not his wife, and he was granted his wish. "I am just calling to see if your wife is home from the dentist yet," he said initially, delaying the moment.
"Not yet, my boy, but she will be home shortly. Was it her that you needed to talk to?"
"Actually, sir, it was both of you, but maybe this way is better… no, not better, but easier for me. Are you able to sit down?"
"Sit down? Well, I can…" began Aaron Carmichael, then he went quiet for a moment. Thad heard him breathe deeply, then continue, "It's Seth, isn't it? Something has happened…"
"He had another attack, but this time, it was too big for his body to handle."
"You mean… Edith is going to be devastated! Please tell me that this didn't happen whilst he was alone in the house…"
"I'm afraid that I can't, but she doesn't need to know the full details yet, if indeed ever. It's a lie, but this news will be hard enough for her without adding to it with unnecessary truths. All you need to know is that he died in Skylar's arms. He wasn't alone at the very end…"
"That will be of small comfort to her, I guess, but yes, it is better that she doesn't know any more than that…" Aaron Carmichael paused, then said, "I think that I can hear the car drawing up. Will you come in and see us when you get back? That will help her I should think…"
Thad agreed without hesitation, then rang off, picturing the scene back at Dalton in his mind. Now he had to steel himself once more for the next call. He had to get his phone back out to check the number again, then he dialled it with great care. He heard it ring, sounding somewhat distant, and then it was answered…
"Hey Skylar, how are you?"
Thad sighed with relief, his prayers answered again, and replied, "Hey Colin, it's Thad actually. Skylar has let me use his phone…"
There was a silence, and then in a voice which had a hint of tears in it, Colin said in a monotone voice, "He's gone, isn't he? I have had this terrible feeling of anguish in the pit of my stomach for the last couple of hours; I knew that something wasn't right…" He sniffed then, before going on, "He didn't suffer? It wasn't horrible?"
"It wasn't the best way to go, but it could have been a lot worse; Skylar was with him, so at least he wasn't alone…"
"Poor Skylar! He must be distraught! Will you tell him that I am thinking of him when you speak to him again? So, I guess that you are needing to speak to Edward one on one? He's just next door, which is why I am doing my best not to burst into tears and give the game away. I mean, I could tell him for you, if you would like…"
Thad considered that easy option for a moment, then rejected it. "Thank you for the offer, but I think it is better coming straight from me, don't you?"
"You are probably right. I will just call him to the phone…"
In the Hudson Valley, Colin called his husband, then handed him the phone without looking at his face. He took a seat beside his husband, still looking down, but ready for the moment that Thad broke the news. It went as he expected; the phone receiver was dropped, and Edward fell apart, sobbing his heart out, as he mourned the loss of his oldest friend….
Thad did not end the call at once as he heard the reaction, in case Colin came back onto the line, but as the wailing noise that he could hear down the line from the house in the Hudson Valley showed no sign of abating, he decided to end the call. He knew that he was going to have to deal with that reaction over and over again, and for a moment he was tempted to just close his eyes, relax, and get his sanity back… He knew though that there was no time for such things, and with a sigh he searched in his phone, found what he was looking for, and sent the draft text message he had stored for this moment. It stated simply that he had an urgent update on Seth's condition, and he requested that they all join him on Skype for a group chat so that he could inform them all together, in ten minutes. He knew that some would guess what it was about, but that couldn't be helped…
He had barely hit the send button when his phone started to ring with an incoming call, which had to have been started before his message was even delivered. He checked the ID and wondered why Flint would be calling him. He answered with caution, aware that the other man could not possibly know what was going on…
"Hey Thad, it's Flint. Look, I need you to make an announcement via the group text. I have just had a daughter, well Izzy has, and anyway, she is absolutely perfect and we have called her Amelia."
Thad's eyes widened, cursing that this had to have happened today of all days, knowing he was going to have to burst the joyous bubble that Flint sounded like he was in. It was nobody's fault, just cruel coincidence… "That's great news Flint, and I am so pleased for both of you. However, there is something that I need to tell you now… I'm at Skylar's just now. Seth passed away about an hour ago. I am so sorry to have to dampen your day…."
There was silence, then a small voice replied, "An hour ago… That was exactly when Amelia was born… my mom always said that when a new life came into the world, an old one had to leave…"
"That's old wives nonsense," said Thad firmly, knowing exactly how Flint's mind was working. "It is a coincidence, nothing more. Seth did not die because your daughter came into the world!"
"But what if people think it? Look, don't tell anyone about Amelia; I will call Beats back and ask him to keep the news to himself too…"
"Now that is total insanity! Do not call Beats, because how are you going to explain your reasoning? Look, ignore the call to a group Skype, and go back to Izzy and celebrate your daughter's life. Seth would be overjoyed for you, and you know that. He certainly would not want you blaming yourself for his death. I will tell the others your good news in the chat; we will all need it, trust me. Now, I want you to go back to Izzy, and your daughter, and cherish this moment. By the way, good thinking in naming her after your mother. She will be absolutely delighted!"
Flint would walk back to his wife's room, blinking back his tears, determined that he would not cry in the corridor of the maternity department. Once inside the room, he headed to the chair next to Izzy's bed, keeping his eyes cast down. His wife noticed, of course, and asked, "What's wrong? Did your mother say something that upset you?"
"No, no, she was over the moon! She is probably harassing the captain of the cruise ship right now, demanding that he speeds up so she can get here sooner! They were all pleased, both sets of parents, and Uncle Beats… Then I called Thad…" He stopped, and looked up, and Izzy saw his tears for the first time. "Seth died at the same time that Amelia arrived, and well, it's kind of taken a lot of my joy away…"
Izzy could only watch helplessly then as her husband began to sob, her arms cradling their child. She could understand why; she barely knew Seth herself, but she felt an immense sadness and grief at the news…
He was not the only one in tears; Thad too had suddenly found himself crying again in Skylar's study, and was still doing so when the man himself walked in. His eyes were red raw, his hair and face a mess, but on seeing the older man crying, he hastened over to him. "Oh, Thad… Look, Julia told me what you are intending to do, but if you want me to, I could…"
"No, it is my task as Head Warbler. Anyway, the moment the others saw your face, there would be no need for words. I am crying because as I sent the message, Flint called me. He was full of joy, because Izzy has had the baby, and he now has a daughter. I had to tell him what had happened here, and when I did… She arrived just as Seth passed, and his mother has always talked about how as one person comes into the world, another has to leave…"
"So he thinks that Seth died because… I am going to call him right now and set him straight. If he hears that from me, it might make more of an impact."
"What you need to do is sit quietly and grieve…"
"No, I need to call Flint and congratulate him on the birth of his daughter, because that will mean a lot to him. I am so pleased for him, and I know that Seth will be too. Seth would want us to carry on as near normal as possible, and being pleased for Flint is normal. However, ask that no-one else calls me, as I don't think I could handle that."
"Edward probably will call; he sounded so devastated, and once he gets over the initial shock, he will want to contact you…"
"He will, and I can deal with him, because he will feel every bit as destroyed as I do right now. He will feel the injustice of it all, suffer the same degree of agonising pain. The others, however well intentioned they are, would be too much for me to deal with right now…"
"I will let them know. How is Julia doing?"
"I think that she blames herself for not being here, and no doubt Mrs Carmichael will be exactly the same, but it is just like it was in April; as Ollie said then, it wouldn't have mattered if we had all been sitting right beside him at the time. He was choking, but it was a side effect; it was the attack that killed him, and there was nothing anyone could have done to stop that."
"Yes, I am sure you are right," said Thad. Skylar gave him a nod, and headed out of the room, leaving Thad praying that when the exact cause of death was known, it would indeed be the case…