Hello! It is Wednesday and I am back with a new chapter. This was written a few months ago and tackles a subject that has certainly been in the back of my mind for a while but I never really knew how to write about it. It's such a natural part to his character that I wanted it to just happen. And it did. Aside from the title, this focuses on the relationship of Ash and his father as well - especially after his whole darkness saga. I hope you enjoy :)
Ages:
Ash: 31
Misty: 31
Ben and Katie: 11
James: 5
Jerry: 51
Disclaimer: I own the story and the OCs mentioned!
Instead of occupying my time as I waited by tricking my body into thinking it was busy while actually being unable to resist glancing at the clock like my best friend was doing, I filled my attention with other things. Plonking my bottom right on the coffee table where the magazines lie, I looked over at Ben and Katie while they sat on the window seat together.
They too were waiting. However, unlike their father who was growing rather antsy and their mother bustling in the kitchen not up to too much at all, they had things to do. I tilted my head curiously. I should have known that that was not going to last though! I should have known that the raven haired eleven year old boy was going to act like his father soon enough.
Even though Ben had just been slouched against his twin sister while she continued her own activity, he suddenly leapt up before he flopped back down to her, wrapping his arm around her while squeezing her shoulder tight. Before she even had a chance to turn and smile at him – or scowl – he smiled back at her.
"Whatcha doin'?" Ben asked and in response, the orange haired eleven year old girl's brows drew together, her beginning to make the initial movements of turning to look at him. But before she fully could, her brow drawn together and her lip quirking upwards in restrained, fond amusement, he changed his words. "Reading? Whatcha reading?"
Katie looked over at Ben as he flopped right close to her and the more that seconds passed, the less that her smirk became restrained as she tried to hide her fondness and the more that it became genuine.
But still, it was the energetic young lad who got his movements in all over again. And in very swift motions, he jumped up from the window seat once more, snatching the book out of his sister's hand that she had indeed been reading.
I watched as Katie looked over at her brother with narrowed eyes yet still gave him the satisfaction of snatching one of her beloved books from her. Then she finally retorted with words. Ben grinned gleefully almost immediately at her giving him attention rather than words.
"You… You're the one who stole it from me." she began, not needing to gesture to the book that the raven haired boy was indeed tossing from one hand to the other as well as tossing it up and down in the air. Her hands sought refuge in her lap and then she subtly teased. "You t-tell me."
My eyes didn't peel away from the scene as Ben caught the book from tossing it in mid-air and held it more permanently in his gloveless hands. Without turning to look, I got the impression that Ash had started to look over at the two oldest children of his as well. In between looking at the clock and out of the window, of course.
After holding his sister's book in his hands for a couple of seconds after catching it, Ben briefly glanced down at the cover, trying to decipher it and get an impression of it. Whether he actually paid attention to it or not, he screwed his face up and stuck his tongue out. Then, he tossed it back to his sister.
It was only just back in her loving hold when he piped up all over again.
"Doesn't matter what it is. Come and play with me, Katie. Come and play with meeeeeee!" his tone became begging. Continually, his twin sister couldn't stop the lightness from taking over her gaze. I stared more when she actually put her bookmark in between the pages for a moment to fully look over at Ben as he suggested. "Let's play battle. That's way more fun."
Finally acknowledging that it hadn't gone unnoticed by her that I was watching, Katie stopped looking so secretly affectionate when it came to her twin brother and shared that look with me. Then again, nothing ever really went unnoticed by her. Needless to say, I didn't hesitate to throw that same look back at her.
Once we had shared this, Katie looked back over at Ben all over again. Despite her quieter nature in comparison to him, she gladly piped back in response to tease him.
"For you." she replied simply. I watched as almost immediately, his expression started to scrunch up all over again in the same way that he had done when he had read the title of her book. His tongue didn't quite poke out from in between his lips that time though.
Using his scrunched up face as fuel and going along with them, Ben started to put on an exaggerated display of desperation. He began jumping up and down, rocking from his heels to his toes in his socks. His chin jutted outwards as he turned his eyes into pools of chocolate.
"Pleeeeeeeeease. C'mon we gotta practice before we head off again." Ben's hands made a clapping sound as they slammed into each other before clasping, residing under his chin in a continual attempt of being irresistible. I knew that he was very unlikely to ever put on that sort of display in front of his friends! Katie watched, not allowing her expression to break. "No one is good as you are."
It was true that Katie was often the one that spoke the least and she was the more reserved out of the two Ketchum twins. As well as this, she was the one who was least likely to break. However, when she heard these words coming from her twin brother, her mock unimpressed look faded away and in its place that nose scrunching and eye creasing look returned.
She knew that it was flattery to get his own way. She wasn't silly! Still, she had to admit that even she liked leaving worlds behind trapped behind the pages of their book every once in a while.
Nevertheless, Katie pressed her lips together causing a dimple to appear and she told the boy.
"I would love to." She initiated. Straight away, the air felt the pump of a fist as Ben didn't hesitate to grin. He holding his hand out to his sister indicated that he didn't anticipate on more words following them and even if there were, he didn't intend to listen! His hand remained empty as Katie continued. "I c-can't get my clothes a… all crumpled though. H… H-He will be here any minute."
I watched and Katie watched too and Ash probably watched as well when Ben's very expressive face scrunched up all over again just a second or two after Katie's words could be heard. Yet he didn't stop his arm from stretching out towards her and his hand waiting to feel her fingers clasp against his. He didn't say anything. He didn't try to convince her.
In that moment, he was letting his expression do the talking without intending it to have too much effect. His face crumpled like a paper bag simply because it felt natural to do that in that moment.
All the same, after a couple of seconds passed and the only sound that could be heard was the clock ticking on the wall and the sound of no car pulling up on the driveway, Ben tried one last time. And as he tried that one last time, he smiled in a way that showed he was trying to be casual. His hand finally went back to his own side.
"I wouldn't let that happen." began Ben and Katie didn't stop her eyebrow from turning into a perfectly curved rainbow shape, her eye contact making its way straight to her brother. He ignored her knowing, disagreeing glance. "C'mon. You know what he's like. He's always late. We have time. We even have time for you to change outfit if it does crumple!"
I couldn't help but feel like these might have been a bit of a tactic to make Katie comply. But Katie didn't seem to agree. Or if she noticed this as such as well, she didn't make it known.
Instead, Katie rather promptly replied to her twin brother.
"That's true." she was inclined to agree. When she put her book down on the space in the window seat where Ben had previously been sprawling, it came to his attention that his twin sister was finally complying. He managed to resist quietly gasping with hope. Katie spoke again as her bottom raised from the seat. "Not… Not here though. Upstairs. Dad looks like he won't find it too funny to… t-today."
Katie gave Ben a look that couldn't be argued with. In addition to this, her voice quietened down when she spoke of their father. Ben's first reaction was to furrow his brow, perhaps due to not hearing her soft voice when it lowered in volume even more than unusual.
But then after Katie tried to casually smile over at her father and brushed passed her twin brother on the way to lead him upstairs, he soon enough shared her smile. He nodded his head whether he heard her word or not, let alone agreed with them.
Finally turning my body from facing forward and the Ketchum hallway window seat, I rotated round to where Ash was lurking not quite in the hall and not quite in the kitchen. He turned away from looking at the clock yet again and shared that smile with his kids.
He definitely hadn't heard what they were saying. Or had he?
"Goin' to wait upstairs for a better view? Nice shout." Ash airily approved and even though his children merely gave him another smile in response rather than saying words (and Katie had lightly shoved Ben's arm before he could frown and speak the truth), my best friend called up to them in a cheery manner. "I win if I spot him first though!"
Win what, exactly, I couldn't be sure. More smiles continued from the eldest Ketchum children. Then, the only sound that was responded to their father was one of their bedroom doors slamming shut.
Ash tried not to let it be immediately but pretty soon after his children had left to do their own thing instead of waiting, his casual appearance faltered and he shook his head, continuation of a smile fading away for good. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He looked over at the clock on the wall and then down to his watch.
Because his wife had been bustling in the kitchen and not getting up to too much at all as preparations in there had been made earlier – and the youngest, more attention needing children of theirs were upstairs having a nap – she was savvy straight away to her husband's emotions.
This caused Misty to leave the kitchen and not bothering to conceal her true motives; she appeared behind Ash and wrapped her arms behind him. As she exhaled softly and closed her eyes, nuzzling her nose into the nape of his neck, she didn't say anything. Yet that too spoke volumes.
Ash wasn't naïve to it. He didn't appear offended by it either. Letting out his own quiet sigh and sharing it with his wife, his arms wrapped back behind her so he could hold her himself.
"They're so used to my dad being late. Not being there. I hate that. He was like that for me too." he muttered thoughtfully. Although the words that he wished that things were different and he wished that his father was different were not spoken, they seemed to ring out into the thoughtful silence that ensued in the few moments that followed the words that he had said.
Misty held words back. She didn't know what to let loose. Or maybe she did but she just knew that any string of sentences weren't exactly going to help or comfort. I believe that I was correct when after another second or two passed, she enveloped her husband more so, not letting him go,
I knew that it was this that caused him to speak his mind again, his own arms wrapping further around her as her front planted against his chest, wordlessly conveying gratitude.
"He's a good Granddad when he shows though; I can't say that he isn't. I'm sure that he'll be here soon." Ash spoke. After a nod of his head that was probably to convince him as much as it was to convince his wife, he pulled away from their moment entirely to go and distract himself in the living room.
A kiss wasn't planted to her head or her hand or any other place before he left even though she would have liked that to be the case. After she watched her husband bravely shuffle off to another room in their house, his hands sliding into his black sweatpants pockets, Misty couldn't help but press her lips together and run her hands through her bangs.
Though she didn't share a look with me, I shared her thoughts.
It was pretty sad that Ash had hope, even when he had been let down so many times as a kid and let down as an adult as well. But then again, that's just the kind of man that he was. That was just the kind of man that Ash was. Always finding the best in people. Always managing to find the best in anything.
We shared a wan smile and we shared thoughts regardless of if we shared any looks. It was heart-breaking how forgiving Ash was. But it was heart fixing as well.
Thankfully, he was actually right and none of them did have to wait too much longer. Eventually, his father pulled up on the driveway and he knocked at the front door of the Ketchum residence and was ready to see how each and every member of the family was doing.
I couldn't help but hope that while Jessika and Rey were having the last few moments of their nap so couldn't exactly help it; Ben and Katie were proving a bit of a point when they didn't come down from upstairs immediately!
I was still thinking of this and trying to keep my thoughts and my smirk to myself when Ash and his father, Jerry, were seated in the living room and waiting for Misty to bring tea for them all to drink and share over their catch up.
"You're looking good, son. You're looking good. Looking strong. Good man." Jerry spoke to his equally raven haired and as his words tumbled out from him, he started to grin, his stubble the same shade of black as the hair on his head moving upon his face.
Ash's father didn't stop himself from playfully and energetically lunging closer to the younger male, making a swipe at him and grabbing hold of his arm, wordlessly adding to his prior compliments. Jerry grabbed hold of Ash like he hadn't kept him and his family waiting for a long time.
Somehow, my best friend managed to ignore this. Though his usually tanned cheeks changed to the colour of the pink roses that were in a vase by the fireplace in the living room and he waggled his arms out of Jerry's hold, he grinned back.
A glint filled his brown orbs. He was always going to light up at compliments. He was always going to light up at approval. He was always going to light up at approval from his father.
"Well, I feel it." he admitted and he rested one of his elbow back on the arm of his armchair, cupping his fingers underneath his chin. I had to wonder whether he was purposely showing off a solid bicep of his as he did this. "Feelin' strong. Feelin' strong in mind and spirit. It's been wonderful to get back into battling." A pause. Then more words didn't hesitate to come. "In fact, Ben and Katie have headed upstairs to practice some of their own moves, I hear."
Jerry's eyes dropped down to his son leaning against the arm chair and he noticed the shapeliness whether it was intentional on Ash's part or not. Then, his eyes rose up all over again and shared a bigger, different glint at the mention of his grandchildren. Especially his grandson. Especially Ben.
The older of the two leaned forward in his chair all over again, though that time; it was out of the desire to hear more.
"No kidding!" Jerry began and it caused Ash to smile and nod, but I could see his fingers curling underneath his chin like he needed the comfort of his own structure. His father didn't notice his lack of response – or care – and took control of the conversation. "How great. How great for them. Still, it will be greater for them to get back on the road again, won't it?"
His fingers still curling around his chin that contained dots of his own light stubble, Ash mouth continued curling up. I could read this expression and this momentary quietness like a book.
Yes, of course it would be wonderful for Ben and Katie to get back out there on their Pokémon Journey after their unexpected break when their littlest sister was born. It would be wonderful for them to train and experience and make memories and be on the road and enjoy all that sort of thing all over again, no interruptions that time.
But Ash had enjoyed having his children around. While it was complex and unpleasant reasons why they had returned to begin with and stuck around a month or two after it initially began to settle again, he had treasured those times. He had treasured the company and the loyalty and support of his eldest children during one of the toughest seasons of his life. It wouldn't be the same without them.
Ash didn't have a chance to express this to his father, though. I confess that I was a little bit glad because I knew that Jerry could never have related to that. Maybe I was wrong. But I felt that Ash's father wouldn't have a single clue.
Interrupting that little moment and that little conversation, one of the Ketchum children made their appearance and came to greet their grandfather. But it wasn't entirely obvious that that was what they were doing when they didn't offer a word of hello and instead marched right over to them with a tea tray instead.
Straight away I melted with my bottom perched alongside magazines and on the coffee table that time rather than a wall cabinet. The chestnut haired little boy marched straight between the two men and a little more directly compared to his usual shy self, he offered them a drink.
"Tea?" James proffered. My heart thudded and my eyes creased all the more when he tried to hold the toy tea tray in the one hand and gesture with the other and he almost sent it toppling!
He didn't seem fazed though. Grinning alongside his father in a very similar way when he chuckled down at him immediately, reaching to ruffle the top of his hair before he even gave him an answer, he stood firm and didn't leave from between in between the two raven haired men.
James stood firm, a cascade of fuchsia pink and rose pink billowing around his ankles and a plastic ring tapping against the drinks tray as he held it. Jerry filled his vision with this sight. And after the initial joy on his face and grin as he believed one of his granddaughter's was approaching him, he was left a little confused at what he saw.
Jerry didn't reach out to his grandson for a good while, not to help him steady the drinks tray and not to ruffle the top of his hair like his son had done. Not to brush the flecks of glitter from his locks either.
Because of the unusual lack of reaction and the lack of interaction, James was forced to try a second time.
"Would you like some tea?" he piped up, a little louder that time and going on his tiptoes, his attention turning fully to his grandfather and offering him a drink most of all even though it was there for them both.
I saw the way that Jerry looked over at the little boy. I saw the way that he looked at him up and down. It was just a flicker. It was just a flicker of a gaze. But I saw it. And I caused my heart to stop thumping with love for the little boy and my heart to miss a beat with protection.
The raven haired older man looked at the chestnut haired boy from the top of his glitter decorated chestnut locks to the tip of his brightly pink coloured toenails that matched the material billowing out around his knees and ankles.
But then, the sight of his grandson prompted him to hurry and answer. He grinned down at James. He grinned down at James in a way that was like a child unwrapping socks for a present on Christmas Day. Surely Ash had to catch on. There wasn't time to observe that. There was only time to listen.
"No. No, I'm all good thanks." Jerry replied to James and he moved backwards in his chair, his hand moving to his face and to rub his own beard. After he had given it a thorough massage and Ash's eyes had moved to him and James' orbs filled with confusion, he explained. "Don't worry about it. Your Mom is sorting us out with the proper stuff. But come give your old Grandpa a hug!"
Clutching the little white with blue hearts decorated tea tray in both of his hands, little James looked as though the last thing he wanted was to give his grandfather a hug. He wouldn't have minded normally. But he just didn't understand. He didn't understand at all.
I hoped for the life of me that he hadn't caught on to the look that he had given him. I hoped with all of my heart that his bewilderment was down to simply not understanding why he didn't want tea.
I was almost glad when Ash took a turn to speak because I didn't have to think about this worrying notion any longer. Looking down at his middle child with a smile and reaching to squeeze his shoulder, he nodded his head encouragingly at James. He spoke to him effortlessly, not a hint of patronisation in his tones.
"I would be delighted to have a cup of tea of yours as well, buddy." Ash told his son and in between James instantly brightening and out of giddiness, thrusting the whole tea tray into his father's hold, he gave his own father a bit of a look.
In spite of the fact that it was a look that was far more intense than the look up and down that Jerry had given James, it was a more acceptable and a more likeable one. Part of me believed that Jerry wasn't going to catch on. He hadn't caught on to the fact that Ben and Katie hadn't shown themselves so why would he catch onto this?
But he did. Maybe he somehow read his only son rather well. I didn't understand how based on how little he had been there when he was even younger than little James.
Jerry's eyes actually widened at the look that he received from his son. His beard felt the touch of his hand some more and after he cleared his throat, he drastically changed tactic. He drastically changed his mind.
Ash had the tea tray at that point but Jerry spoke down to his grandson.
"O-Oh actually I could do right having some tea right now." Jerry changed his mind and I had to give him credit for this. Though of course, the only reason that he had done this was the prompt from his adult son.
Nevertheless, James was won over rather quickly and after he saw to it that his father took hold of one of the blue with white heart decorated cups, he kept the tea tray steady before he offered the other to his grandfather. He smiled sweetly up at him, in his corner all over again and utterly unfazed.
Jerry couldn't stop himself from sharing this offering as well as letting out a bit of a breathy sigh which spoke of a thanks, that time reaching forward and ruffling his chestnut locks just like his father had done to him. I tried to ignore my thoughts that he was trying to shake the sparkly flecks from my hair.
However, before I could mull on this further and agitate myself too much – and Ash and Jerry could mock taking appreciative slurps from their cups of tea – Misty came back with the actual ones. The middle Ketchum child had a knot in his youthful brow when Jerry abandoned the toy cup for the actual one and couldn't be perked up by his father keeping hold of both.
But fortunately, Misty was there to the rescue. She then spoke words after having a bit of small talk with her father-in-law and spoke them whether they were intentionally to lift her son's spirits again or not.
"Oh, biscuits! I forgot the biscuits. I need to go and get them." She mused to herself and she mused to the two men who were then occupying themselves with bringing their actual cups of tea to their lips. Before Ash's stomach could rumble and I could catch her eye wandering subtly over to her youngest son, she felt a small hand sliding into hers.
Misty didn't even have the chance to leave the room without him because James clutched onto his mother's hand and he intended to follow her, that sweet smile looking up to her and being just for her.
"We need to go and get them." he told her and after his expression and his meadow orbs lit up at the laughter that he unintentionally caused to fill the silence in the room, he headed off with her, his two shaded pink dress swirling around him as he skipped.
The love that filled my heart all over again when I saw mother and son heading off out of the room didn't surprise me. It didn't surprise me at all. I was quite used to that. But what caught me off guard was Jerry promptly speaking after the two of them were out of sight.
Bringing the cup of tea to his lips all over again and taking a sip before putting it down, Jerry shook his head and smirked to himself. Ash caught on almost as soon as his father moved and it caused his brow to furrow curiously.
Jerry didn't hesitate to speak and explain.
"What a kid. What a kid." he commented and the second time that he uttered those words; he said them far more spaced out. His cup was reached for all over again. Although that time, he didn't bring it to his lips.
While the smirk stopped gracing Jerry's lips, a smile formed on Ash's ones instead. Though his wife and his youngest son were not there for him to observe anymore and they were not lingering in the doorway, he turned to peer behind him lovingly as if they were.
I couldn't help have a similar tug upon my own mouth. This remained in agreement at the words that my best friend did not hesitate to say.
"What a kid, indeed. He's completely brilliant." Ash concurred, a steamy blush taking over his tanned cheeks and I knew that it wasn't the heat from the cup of tea. Running a hand through his unruly locks and shuffling to the end of his seat, my best friend came alive as he spoke of one of his children. "He's one of the funniest people I know by far. He cracks me up. Every single day."
I was inclined to agree. James. Oh, James! He had been a bit of a comedy genius since he was a very little lad without even trying. The things that he came out with when Misty collected him from school. The blunders he made. The faces he pulled. The mishaps that he got into. Yes, he was truly a very endearing and an amusing child.
Ash shook his head as he thought about all the things that I was thinking of and probably more. Another thing that caught me off guard was the way that Jerry copied his son's stance, holding his cup in his hands as he waited for the biscuits to arrive and leaning to the edge of his seat.
A glint filled his own eyes. Then it faded. Then it appeared again, more prominent than it had done before. A look of realisation filled his face. A look of understanding. Though what the look of realisation and understanding was about, I couldn't fathom out for myself. I had to watch. I had to wait and listen too.
Soon enough it was explained to me, Jerry's hand going back to his own beard perhaps for comfort before lightly tugging on his own bottom lip.
"Ohhh. Right. Okay. I getcha." Jerry replied. Because Ash had previously been looking fondly with regards to his middle son, he wasn't exactly dedicated to the look of confusion that washed over his face next. His eyes were diamonds as his father frowned. He tilted his head. He had the oncoming twitch of the brow. But his lips still curved upwards. Soon enough, Jerry's did too. He grinned. He laughed!. "So the whole dress wearing thing is just for a laugh? Okay. I got it." He had been a fool. But at last, he understood. "Huh… Funny."
Silence. Complete silence. Funnily enough, it wasn't that noiselessness that caused my spine to twist and contort. Joke? Really? A joke? Now that had to be the thing that was the joke.
Ash was none the wiser. Ash was clueless. Ash was clueless in his unwillingness to believe. His face drew backwards. His body did as well. His cup of tea got placed down on the ground and he focused on leaning back, his amused confused expression becoming a thing of the past and a pure, scrunched up uncertain expression being a thing of the present.
My best friend's throat let out a scoff before he could stop himself. He did not like to assume the worst though. So he tried not to. He really did.
"I don't understand." Ash plainly said and I wondered if part of him imagined in his mind that Jerry would wave a haphazard time and tell him 'nothing' and that it didn't matter. I wondered if part of him imagined this and hoped that he would see it. Either way, he did not. He witnessed his father explain with widening of eyes and open hand gestures. His hands gestured a motion of a dress. His hands gestured a motion of a dress that James had been wearing. Ash scoffed a second time and with far more gusto. "Dude, he's just playing. He's just in the middle of two sisters. He's just playing."
As Ash continually backed away in his seat, I felt as though he might have wanted the sofa cushions to eat him up so he didn't have to have that conversation at all. So he didn't have to feel his son being judged. But maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe that was me.
From the look in my best friend's eyes, though there was dismay and there was disappointment, it looked as though as he leaned back, he was seeing things clearly. He was happy to answer. He was happy to chat. He was happy to defend.
It looked as though he was going to have to do a lot more of that when Jerry's head tilt and teeth clenching together said the words 'even so…' even if his mouth did not.
After a couple of moments of listlessly tapping his fingernails against the ceramic of the cup and I tried not to get even more agitated, Jerry took his turn to speak. He ignored the bizarreness of the name that his son had called him and uttered things he believed to be of value.
"But… He's a boy." Jerry said lamely and I believed that this was only the beginning part of his words. Ash and I were shown that he thought that that was reason enough by not having another point to back it up with until a few moments afterwards. My best friend and I's expression weren't exactly steely. But they were unmoving. "Should a boy be doing that?"
It was my turn to scoff though I managed to resist moving my bottom off the coffee table and onto the sofa to make a point. It was clear to me that Ash's father didn't exactly have a leg to stand on, nor did he have a concrete flow of where he expected the conversation to go from the way that he clearly needed his son's opinion.
Watching as my best friend's face didn't move for a few more seconds, I bit the inside of my own cheek. Then, I breathed out and accepted that his expression wouldn't alter even when he began talking when that exact thing happened.
Ash listened to his father's point. He did listen to his father's point. He nodded. However, that motion of his head was down to simply hearing his point, not agreeing with it.
"I approve of my kid expressing himself through play or in any way that he deems fit." Jerry received this response and to show off a sense of finality, Ash brought his cup of tea to his lips and took another swig.
It was final to him. It was certainly final to him. Though of course, it was not final to Jerry. He had to have taken note of his son's very pointed words and pointed gestures and very much understood them. But still, he had more questions and more things to say so the conversation was not done for him. Unfortunately, the conversation was not done.
Granting his son the same respect at least and reciprocating the nod of the head to acknowledge the answer, Jerry then tried again. His face twisted like he had left a facial mask on for too long. His eyes were bordering on saucers. You could very much see the whites of his dismayed eyes.
Jerry's tongue formed more words. I wish he had more self-control.
"You have to be worried though." he stated rather than asked that time and I knew that it would get harder and harder for me to stay put! It would get even harder for me to hold my tongue. I was impressed at the way that Ash's head tilted, yet his expression didn't flicker. "Aren't you worried that he might be…?"
Jerry had finally begun to utter the formidable words. He had finally begun to utter the completely unwanted words. I can't tell if it was better or worse that he hadn't been actually able to say them. Regardless, they rung out and caused my ears to feel unpleasant and I could taste bitterness in my mouth. I longed shake my head. I longed to speak my mind. I longed to hiss and spit out, to say what I truly thought and to rid myself of the sour sensation.
However, I had to sit back with the peace I felt when it came to the admiration for Ash handling it all so well. Being let down by his father himself was one thing. His children being let down by him was a whole other thing.
Nonetheless, he somehow turned the other cheek. He had reached his happy place. His kids were his happy place. He felt content in the knowledge that he at least was in awe of their unique, brilliance.
"Happy?" Ash finally finished his father's sentence for him, even though in reality, not much time had passed at all. Jerry's face tightened all over. It became clear that that was the last word that he intended to say.
A sigh escaped from his lips. His bottom couldn't make up his mind whether it wanted to be pressed against his seat or not while his beard felt the touch of his fingers all over. And then his hair did.
Jerry decided to copy his son's stance, leaning back in the arm chair and folding his arms over his chest. It was that point that I realised that he had a far less impressive physique in comparison to his him. What once was the towering and tanned and raven haired man was an older man, one feeble and unimpressible in his ignorance.
Of course, Jerry had to deem his words somewhat impressible from the way that he spoke them. Or at the very least, he found them necessary. To him, they had a baseline of truth. To a lot of other people, though, they were nonsense.
Thankfully, he stopped making statements and asked questions. It wasn't the greatest thing in the world. But I preferred to hear his questions about it rather than unwanted opinions.
"Doesn't it bother you at all? Not even a little bit?" Jerry questioned and I found myself openly shaking my head at the… admiration in his voice? The bewilderment? The shock?
A father accepting his little boy for who he was and allowing him to do and play and be who he wanted to be? That was unheard of, wasn't it? Apparently in Jerry's mind, that was unheard of. That was alien. Then again, he had always wanted to live his own life through his son. He took his failings and gave them to his son who turned them into success.
Woe betide Ash be something that he didn't approve of. Then what on earth would he do?
I was glad that my best friend took his time in answering because although I knew what he would go on to say – it hadn't exactly been the first time that he or Misty had been questioned over their parenting choices – I appreciated that he wanted to get his sentiment across.
Still, there was a part of me as I waited that wanted him to hurry up so Jerry didn't think that he was for a second coming around to his way of thinking! I didn't have to wait long though. I didn't have to wait too long.
Unlike what I was expecting, I did the opposite of smiling when the words came.
"The only thing I have concern about is the judgement. The bullying. But then again, at least he actually has his dad around to help him through that." Ash stood his father with steadiness in his fixed gaze. But somehow, his mouth dropped even though it had already been a line. His eyelids twitched. His words cut directly. His words cut deep.
They were unmistakable. Even for Jerry.
He felt the whites of his eyes showing all the more and his lips covered in a residue of milk parting. He wasn't a fool. Not truly. He could see clear as day. He witnessed his son's jagged words. He saw the equal expression that took over, his arm resting on the arm of the chair all over again but that time almost hugging it.
I tried not to slam my paw against my forehead when Jerry somehow mistook all of this and he saw his son growing distant, unreadable. He tried to reach out to him, not making contact with him or his bicep that time but his hands outstretching all the same.
"Hey." Jerry tried and although Ash's lips twitched, like a child disappointed in his dad for showing up late, he didn't like to look at him. Though of course, the reason for the lack of eye contact wasn't for that. It might have been 25 years ago. But at that time, it was another beast entirely. Jerry continued being mistaken. "Don't bottle it up, ya know? Don't bottle it up. You're… You're mad. I can see it. Hit me."
It goes without saying that Jerry meant Ash should hit him with words and open up to him. Though I'm a little ashamed to admit in hindsight, when I heard those words I half wanted Ash to sock him in the jaw! That would have done no good to anyone. That would have done no good to anyone at all.
My best friend sighed. His sigh came very loudly but still didn't look at his father and he still didn't do anything. I heard a foot tapping on the floor that came from him though. That was all. It was then up to Jerry. Why did it have to be up to Jerry? He wasn't doing a good job that day getting things right!
Ash's father reached out to him that time, his fingers clasping around his bicep and tucking in between the crook of his arm in an attempt to be supportive.
"Don't bottle it up. It was this tension that lead to your darkness and it was that darkness that lead to a lot of crap in your life." Jerry told his son and no sooner had he done this, Ash's eyes locked onto him and landed like a dart flying through the air and landing on a bullseye.
He didn't shrug his father's touch away but he might as well have. He might as well have from the scoff that erupted from his lips. Although his eyebrows knotted together and his eyes grew momentarily cloudy and vacant, it wasn't the same way as before. Things had moved on. But feelings that he had always had were still there.
They came tumbling out at the same time that Ash brought his legs to sit with him on the arm chair too, forcing Jerry to let go of his arm.
"You're one to talk. Avoidin' stuff is your speciality." Ash muttered and it was another moment to be unmistakable. It was another moment that was undeniable. His eyes locking onto his father's ones all over again were exactly that.
Jerry certainly caught on from the way that his lips sucked on an invisible sweet and he exhaled out of his nostrils. Ash was the first to look down. Then his father did as well. There was a part of him that had a strain in his throat over the words that he had been unable to hold back. He partially regretted them. I couldn't figure out if Jerry regretted making his son feel that way. I couldn't figure it out at all. But I hoped.
Even though it was Ash who was meant to be doing the talking and the opening up, it shouldn't have surprised me when Jerry took that opportunity for himself. However, I was more at peace with that moment in time because Ash was the one filled with turmoil. We had to balance each other out.
Jerry might have seized the opportunity for himself to talk. But at least they were talking. At least things were being said. At least I was shown a touch of remorse. Ash too.
"Yes… Yeah, okay, maybe I did that." Jerry started and it wasn't exactly a strong beginning. I didn't have hopes that it would get much better. I didn't really have anything, to tell you the truth. I was too busy resisting the urge to climb onto my best friend's lap. But I knew that he didn't need that. He didn't need to be suffocated during a rare moment of truth from his father. "And maybe I still do that. Maybe I avoid things that are a little unusual. Maybe I avoid things being other than the way they should be."
Ash's eyes met his father's all over again and with a silent, telling eyebrow raise, our expression was of the same quality. It was a strong beginning. It was an effort. But it wasn't exactly what we wanted. It wasn't exactly what we thought was right.
Jerry sighed all over again and he knew that he had to try again. That time, he took a few moments to think to himself before answering and he resisted tangling his hand against his stubble for comfort. He really thought about it. He really thought about it, I'll give him that. Whether I agreed on what he said was an entirely different matter, of course. But at least he showed precision tried to get across that there was care.
"Maybe I'll work on that." Jerry spoke and I hoped that wouldn't be his final conclusion. Another pause. Another think. Then, his hand did rise to his own cheek. It rested there with the pads of his fingertips. Ash's eyes focused on the tea cup on the floor as he listened. "But me not being there… That's… I'm here now."
Jerry's words were perhaps lame. Yes, perhaps they were lame. But they were somehow more honest than I had ever heard him say. And for that, whether my best friend did or not, I actually nodded my head just once. Just slightly.
It took Ash a couple of moments to follow suit. It took Ash a couple of moments to follow suit. Biting the inside of his lip and still slightly hunched in the arm chair, he considered it. He did let it run through his mind. His expression was unreadable to even me as he did this.
But eventually, he lowered his legs down onto the ground and he straightened his spine a little bit and he looked over at his father again. There wasn't hope in Jerry's eyes. There wasn't an attempt at kindness. There wasn't anything. That was what Ash needed. That was what Ash needed.
He acknowledged his effort. At least there was effort. That was more than when he had been a little boy. His lip started to quirk upwards but it didn't make it the entire way. Nonetheless, he met his father's eye and it was his turn to nod his head once.
Then after he did that, he verbally granted Jerry's words to which he exhaled silently but for me to hear.
"Yes. Yes, you are here now." Ash agreed but his father believed that that was conclusive. His exhale out of his parted lips might have been silent but it was drawn out. In fact, he had only just finished breathing in that manner when his son actually did conclude; giving him a firm look which still somehow contained a touch of a glint. "My children are all utterly themselves. Disappoint or judge them for even half a second and you will be the one seeing the back of me. Mark my words."
And after a moment's pause and Jerry looked quite apprehensive when it came to his son's firmness, Ash had a bit more of a glint in his eye so his father could relax. His father could relax and exhale and chuckle and look down, nodding his head in agreement. But still, he didn't relax entirely even though he uttered the words 'okay, understood'!
He knew where he stood though. When it came to Ash, Jerry knew where he stood. And after those moments were said and done with, father and son reached out to each other and patted each other on the hand. They had moved past things. They had moved past tensions. They had opened up. Maybe just a little bit. But they had opened up all the same.
Although of course there was still a lingering bad taste in my mouth at the way that little James had unfortunately been judged for simply being himself, I had to say that I was glad where things ended up. And I was glad to see where things were going.
That was proven to me all over again an hour or two after that occasion and when all of the Ketchum's were in the living room to see Jerry. At that point, many cups of tea had been shared. Biscuits had been eaten and passed around and their crumbs had been unintentionally stamped into the floor!
Laughter had been had. Memories had been put forth. Inside jokes had been uttered. Then, during a little bit of a quiet moment, Ash had noticed one member of his family being particularly quiet. Katie's wordlessness for a rare occasion was not down to having her nose in a book and it was down to being a bit uncertain about something.
Under the curious and more studious eye of Jerry, he watched as Ash sauntered over to his eldest daughter immediately when he had seen her thoughtfully playing with the hem of her dress and biting on her lower lip. With a bit of a girlish smile and blush that it wasn't a big deal, she eventually told him that Jayden had got her a new nail polish to try and she wasn't sure if it would suit her.
Ash resisted wrinkling his nose up! And instead, he wrapped his arm around her, his face becoming sunshine and nudging his hip against hers as he suggested. Jerry's eyes didn't widen that time. Instead, he simply watched.
"Well, why don't you put it on me and then you can see? That could be a good way to test it out." he suggested to Katie and while it was her to wrinkle her nose with doubt that it could possibly suit him at all, she couldn't resist the opportunity to do that sort of thing to her father. Inside, she couldn't resist that opportunity to take him up on the offer and spend a bit of time with him.
And so, that ensued. Ash perched on the window sill near the natural lighting and he held his hands out as best as he could while Katie painted his finger nails a shade of green. At first, little James gasped and grew rather interested but as time passed, he decided that he preferred the pink colour he had on his nails and twirled off to play with Jessika in their dresses instead.
Though naturally everybody looked up with creased eyes as they observed what Ash and Katie were up to from time to time, for most of the part, they simply let them crack on. I enjoyed that part almost as much as seeing my friend trying to keep still. Then, as I swung my attention round to Jerry, I couldn't help but notice that we were united in the fact that we were watching the most.
And as the raven haired man looked over at his son not caring about a single thing as he treasured the time with his eldest daughter, that raven haired son of his didn't look over at him that time. Yes, he was too busy enjoying being near Katie. Yes, he was too busy being unbothered. Yes, he was too busy being himself and enjoying being himself.
Jerry withheld a sigh before he finally let it go. It hadn't been Ash's intention to change his mind. It hadn't been Ash's intention at all. Ash hadn't been trying to change things at all. He had simply been being himself. He had simply been speaking his mind. He had been simply living his own life.
And on that day I knew and I reflected that it was all of this that got Jerry thinking. Really thinking. About all kinds of things. And those are the best moments, aren't they? Life courses can be changed by people being true to themselves. The more that I saw it happening, the more that I believed.
It was so important to be true to oneself. It was so important to embrace things, regardless of labels and boxes and expectations and misconceptions. People being true to themselves was what made the world go round. It was what made our group go around, certainly.
Jerry felt thankful to be around to witness it. In truth, he didn't want his grandson to be any other way. He didn't want his son to be any other way either. Forget being a Pokémon Master. Forget even being a Pokémon Trainer.
The greatest title was bestowed upon him when he became a father. Yes, that was Jerry at his truest self as well. He screwed up along the way. Many times. But he still deserved all the joy and warmth that came with being a parent. Being a grandparent too. He deserved to have these people in his life.
I couldn't help but feel a little protective in the middle of it all, let alone at the beginning. But then I just had to let go, didn't I? I could not refrain from sharing. I could not refrain from sharing these wonderful people. Just like all of them shared themselves with the world. Each and every one of their unique, wonderful and entirely worthy selves.
The End.
There you go! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed :) It's always been an idea of mine that James simply adores dressing up in dresses and glitter and with painted nails. Being in the middle of a bunch of sisters, it felt very true to my vision for him as a character. More and more recently, it seems that the world has been having conversations about children who like to express themselves in that way so that was why this chapter happened! I don't think Ash and Misty accepting him for simply being himself is mind blowing. It's the bare minimum of parenting, to support your children. But it was still fun to write about. And also incorporate Jerry and how his questions make Ash feel. No doubt is Ash extremely supportive and present in comparison to how Jerry was with him when he was a child. So in a way, the Ketchum benefit from Jerry being absolutely himself as well. In a strange way :P Thanks again and I will be back again on Wednesday so see you then!
Amy signing out :)