***HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY, IT'S AN UPLOAD YOU DIDN'T EXPECT! ENJOY!***

"I don't know why I'm so surprised," Raphael admitted. "Who else would leave a trail of dead angels like breadcrumbs?"

"Call off your attack on Robert Singer's place!" Sam said.

"It's not an attack if I'm just bringing home a wayward member of the flock," Raphael said slowly, fixing his gaze on Sam. "Gabriel will need his grace once he's returned to his true state."

"You're like a bad Myspace date, dude. Learn that no means no and leave us, Cas, and Gabriel alone," Dean said.

Barely able to stand, Castiel broke away from the boys' grips and tried to stand in front of them.

"Don't...hurt...them," he gritted his words through bloody teeth.

"I told you not to leave me in that circle, didn't I?"

Raphael slowly opened his hand, and Sam went flying across the room. He smashed into the stone wall of the cell and collapsed with a groan. Raphael only looked at Castiel, and he fell to his knees in pain.

"Don't waste the little grace you have left to save this pathetic excuse for a vessel. He only cares about what you can do for them, and right now, you are useless, Castiel. I'll put him in his place soon."

Dean was left standing, cradling his shoulder, realizing he had no options left. He closed his eyes, and Raphael saw his lips moving silently.

"What are you doing?"

Dean barely had time to notice how the floor seemed to tremble under his boots. More ozone, but this time his ears popped, the barometric pressure changing instantly. Hot and arid wind caressed over his skin.

"He was praying to me."

Dean's brother Adam stood before him, arms crossed.

Despite never getting a real chance to meet his half-brother (the one he had met was a ghoul in disguise), he knew instinctively that this was not Adam. The power that came off of him gave away the celestial being locked behind those gray eyes and scowl. His eyes were dark, the thundercloud to Raphael's lightning.

"Michael," Raphael said smoothly. "I have good news; I've managed to find Gabriel's location."

Michael seemed to have barely heard him because he was focused on Dean. "How did you get here, Dean?" His voice was quiet, the deadly false calm that came before tornadoes and tsunamis.

"Found the second star and flew on 'til morning," he said, shivering at the raw power.

"Why did you pray to me?" Michael demanded.

"To make a deal," Dean said. "I know you're still pissed about Lucifer. Take me, let my brother and Cas go with all their fingers, toes, and feathers intact."

Sam groaned from where he had sat up. "Dean, no!"

Castiel's eyes grew wide. "Dean, don't."

They both fell silent under the glare of the Archangel.

Dean swallowed, unable to look at them. "Stop the attack on Gabriel, and you can do whatever you want with me."

He studied Dean for a moment, then nodded. "Raphael, pull back your forces and leave us." He had barely finished the sentence before the other angel was gone.

Michael snapped his fingers, and Castiel and Sam disappeared. The feeling of sudden relief made Dean realize that Michael had healed his shoulder and even scrubbed the blood from his hands and clothes.

Michael studied him for a moment. "We need to talk about our destiny, Dean."

Dean heard another snap and found himself in a greenhouse. The glass roof and concrete floors were so unexpected he had to pause. He could hear the sound of running water and birdsong from the trees around him. The place seemed familiar; he was getting deja vu.

"The Garden," Michael said, appearing beside him, taking a look around. "It appears in certain ways to certain people. For you, it's the Cleveland Botanic Gardens from a school field trip. How exotic."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Why are we here?"

"Because it's the only place all angels are forbidden. Except for Joshua, it's private."

Michael took a few steps forward, hands in his pockets. He looked back at Dean. "Come on. I'd say this conversation is long overdue, wouldn't you?"

Dean gulped but followed after him. Even though he knew the greenhouse hadn't been this big, the place and the concrete path seemed endless. He never saw a door or other exit and never another living soul.

The knot in his stomach as he waited for wherever divine punishment Michael had in store was too much. His fear made him mouthy.

"Last time you came to chat, you killed me," Dean snarled. "So what are you going to do this time? Bamboo torture, waterboarding? Making me watch grass grow?"

Michael stopped and stared at him. "Are you done?"

Dean hoped his defiant stare was enough of an answer. "I was Alastair's protegee. I can handle anything you can throw at me."

The Archangel took a step away from Dean and studied an exotic blue flower. "...I shouldn't have hurt you, Dean."

Dean stopped walking. "Wait, what?"

Michael sighed. "I was angry, but that was unnecessary. You're my vessel. We're supposed to be on the same page about our destiny. Which is why I'm talking to you, now."

"What destiny? Without Lucifer, there's no prize fight, no Apocalypse. You don't need me anymore."

"It doesn't seem to be so cut and dry, Dean. I mean, my Father did raise the only rebelling angel when Lucifer…" Michael was hesitant to finish the sentence.

Dean's face grew pale. "Whoa, whoa, time out, Mike!" He stepped in front of the angel and made a 'T' with his hands. "You are not talking about Cas!"

The angel clasped his hands behind his back and began addressing him like one would a child.

"This has been a long-time coming, Dean. Ever since the first fish pulled itself onto dry land, and all that time, I've known what we had to do. Despite my misgivings about killing my brother, I held my tongue and accepted my fate. Ending my brother was supposed to end all evil. It was supposed to create a Paradise on Earth and bring my Father back."

"Was it also supposed to wash the dishes and do your taxes, too?"

The Archangel narrowed his eyes at his vessel. "My Father's plan is absolute, Dean."

"Clearly, it's not!" Dean shot back. "Sam killed Lucifer with no fanfare, no world-destroying fight. It was quick and dirty, and God didn't do anything to bring him back, did He?"

Micahel was prowling around him now. "This is about following His orders. Why are you questioning this, Dean? That's what we are: the good sons, the favored sons, who follow their father's word without question."

Dean scoffed. "Have you met me? As soon as my old man told me I might need to kill Sam, I knew he was wrong. You can't tell me, Mr. High-and-Mighty Archangel, that you can't recognize a crap order."

Micahel stopped prowling and looked at Dean for several moments. "This is the only way, Dean," he said quietly.

Now Dean was getting angry. "No, it isn't! You want to make Earth into a Paradise to bring God back? Fine! You've got an army of heavenly Terminators twiddling their thumbs. Why don't you send some down to help us, poor bastards, out in the trenches? There's plenty of awful crap we could use the help with. But you want to take the easy way out and not lift a finger to do the work needed."

Michael looked away from his vessel, face red. Dean was honestly still surprised he was breathing.

"Lucifer was my responsibility. I raised him, watched him succumb to his pride and inner wrath. I was the one who threw him into the Cage and locked the door. I was supposed to be the end of his evil reign.

"Now...things are falling apart," he admitted. "Lucifer is dead, Gabriel's been alive, and an angel I barely know has been shown favor from my absent Father and given status as my equal in the Host."

"So, you're having a mid-eternity crisis," Dean summed up. "It's obvious God doesn't care about The Plan. He would've brought Lucifer back if he needed it to happen like that. He didn't. It hasn't. Now everyone's watching to see what you do. Because now this is your choice."

Michael stepped away, a lost look in his eyes. "He was alive this whole time but wouldn't return for me. No matter how often I prayed for guidance, I was always left seeking my own answers."

Dean felt a strange urge to comfort the lost-looking archangel. Maybe it was the fact that it was his half-brother's face, or perhaps it was because of the whole vessel thing.

"That's life," Dean said with a shrug. "Look, I'm gonna be honest, Mike. Cas is not very good at following orders, so you wouldn't want him up here cramping your style. Plus, Gabriel kind of angel-married my brother, so he would just be pining all over the place and be completely useless. You might as well leave them on Earth."

Michael's eyes grew wide. "...Of course Gabriel would choose Lucifer's vessel…" there was a hint of brotherly exasperation there. Dean recognized it because he used it himself when Sam did something idiotic.

"We're supposed to see things eye-to-eye, right, because I'm your vessel? Well, here's my suggestion for a new plan: no Apocalypse 2.0. Let Cas and Gabe live on Earth. Keep your angels to Heaven unless they're actually useful."

"Do you want the moon, too?" Michael scoffed.

"I mean if you're just giving it away…"

Michael looked him over, then took a few steps away. He held his chin in his hand, contemplating.

Despite his bravado, Dean hoped the archangel didn't notice his knees shaking. He felt like that goat in Jurassic Park, hoping the T-Rex didn't see it.

It got eaten in the end anyway.

"Your terms are acceptable."

"Wait, are we actually getting the moon?"

Michael rolled his eyes. The Winchester sass was starting to seep into him. "You've given me many things to contemplate. We'll talk again, Dean."

Dean's body heaved in a large gasp, and he shot up off the cot. He patted himself down, blinked, saw he was alive. He felt the nasty sludge on his forehead and wiped it off angrily with his jacket sleeve.

He stared around in shock because he woke up in a warzone. The walls were dented inwards, the grate with the fan overhead was ripped open, and the fan was on the floor next to him. The bank vault door was off its hinges, and Dean's blood ran cold.

"Guys?" His voice was croaky from disuse, but it was so damn good to hear it again.

Dean ignored his vertigo and ran up the steps two at a time until he burst into Bobby's house properly. The place looked-fine. No sign of a battle at all. Gabriel must have cleaned things up and not gotten to the panic room yet.

Sam and Bobby were in the study and saw him at the same time. "Dean!" They tackled him with rough hugs.

"Boy, it's good to see ya still kickin'! Thought we were gonna have to come up there and get you."

"Yeah, Dean, are you okay? What happened with Michael?"

Dean pulled back and checked over Sam. "Sam, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, why-"

The punch to his face was hard enough to make him stumble back into an empty bookshelf. Sam cursed as his hand massaged his jaw.

Instead of Sam getting angry and defensive, he nodded to Dean. "Yeah, yeah, I deserved that."

"You deserve more than that," Dean said truthfully. He strode forward and pulled Sam into a crushing hug that lasted for a full minute. "But I prefer you here than up there. So I can't beat you into the ground.

Bobby glared at the younger Winchester. "Yeah, I heard about that little stunt you pulled...that was damn foolish, boy."

Sam's eyes couldn't meet his brother or his adoptive fathers' faces. "I'm really sorry, Dean. None of that should have happened." He cleared his throat and took a step back. Dean saw his hazel eyes were becoming misty. "Should I...uh...go?"

He wanted to know if Dean was going to cut him off forever. Send him away from his only home and family he'd ever known. The damn kid would do it too if Dean said yes.

What he had done was pretty bad, but...Could he really cut off Sammy, his rock, his baby brother?

Dean shook his head, and Sam let out the breath he'd been holding.

"We're good...for now."

Sam ran a shaking hand through his hair. "Thank you. I'll even try to knock some sense into Gabriel."

"There's no point in making promises you can't keep, Samuel," Dean said, but there was a small grin on his face. "Now, where are the angels?"

"They're upstairs in our room."

Dean found Castiel sitting in his bed and Gabriel in a chair next to him.

"Dean, you're okay," Castiel said, relieved. He sat up in the bed, his chest naked. There was a large bandage where the grace had been leaking out, but his face was healed up. Except for the weird pale color, Castiel looked better than he had any right to.

Dean just nodded, his stomach loosening the knot that had formed when he had seen how bad Castiel looked in Heaven.

Gabriel stood up, a cocky grin on his face. "Good to see you alive, Dean. Cassie and Sam told me how you saved my ass from Raphael's shepherding. Tha-"

Dean cut him off with a glare. "Keep your thanks. Apologize for all the shit you've pulled, and we'll call it even."

His cocky attitude disappeared, and Gabriel was left chewing on his bottom lip, contemplative. "I've spent so long playing people that I forgot there were actually people under the pranks and 'just desserts.'" He winched. "I am sorry, Dean. You too, little brother."

"No more, got it? Please?"

Gabriel nodded. A little white flag was in his hand, and he gave it a half-hearted little wave.

"What happened with Michael?" Castiel asked.

"Better get the others; I'm only explaining this once," Dean said.

There was a collective silence from the group as Dean finished his story. "So, you talked Michael off the ledge, huh?" Sam summarized.

"Pretty much."

"Anyone else as disappointed about the lack of owning the moon as I am?" Gabriel said.

"You can fly to it at any time, can't ya?" Bobby pointed out.

"But I was this close to planting a flag of a candy bar with wings on the moon!" he grumbled.

Everyone ignored him. Dean brought the beer to his lips, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Well, I for one am glad to keep this marble of ours rollin,'" Bobby announced. The others agreed and drank a toast to that. Castiel had taken a sip of the beer he'd been offered, but now he was simply holding the bottle in his fingers. His mind was clearly elsewhere.

Draining his beer, Bobby cleared his throat and snapped his fingers at Sam and Gabriel. "You two idjits are coming with me right now. We're gonna talk about this mess you've made."

"But I already apologized to Dean!" Gabriel whined. He looked at the hunter, pleading. "Come on, Deano, we literally just went through Heaven together!"

Dean cracked a grin. "Gabe, are you scared of Bobby?"

Gabriel's face paled, but he tried to play it off. "You didn't see the carnage those flamethrowing Super Soakers caused! Didn't even need me- he had things handled."

"I ain't gonna kill ya," Bobby frowned. "But I wanna make sure this lesson sticks. You two are gonna rebuild the panic room."

"Not sure that's a good idea," Sam said. "He might alter the holy water sprinkler system to rain down gummy bears."

The Trickster smirked. "Hey, what's wrong with the classics? Worked on you, didn't it?"

Sam gave him his most potent bitch face.

Bobby let out an annoyed growl. "Well, then, it's a good thing you two will be rebuilding it without magic. Then I don't have to worry about any OSHA violations."

"Excuse me, what?" Gabriel asked, shocked. "You expect me to perform manual labor?"

Bobby shrugged, then started leaving the room. "I'll go grab the flamethrower-"

"WAIT!" Gabriel said, eyes flashing. "Alright, alright, Father above. You're so pushy!"

He grabbed Sam's hand and hauled his mate out of the bedroom, Bobby on their heels. The old man turned and tipped his hat to Castiel and Dean. "Rest up, Castiel."

When the door was closed, Dean let out a good, long laugh. "Hell yeah, Bobby, that'll teach 'em!" He looked over at Castiel, surprised at the tan skin the angel had been hiding under that suit.

"How are you holding up, Cas?"

"I've been better," Castiel admitted. He touched the bandage on his side. "The grace is taking longer to replace. Once Gabriel got his grace from Sam, he healed what he could."

Castiel looked Dean over. "It's good to hear your voice again, Dean."

"Aw, missed my witty banter, angel?" He winked as he spoke. Though he meant it as a joke, Castiel nodded seriously.

"Yes, I even missed the references I never seem to understand. The world seems less interesting without your astute observations."

Dean wasn't sure if that was Castiel's attempt at sarcasm or sincerity. He just decided to roll with it.

"Seriously, though, I thought I was gonna get carpal tunnel with all that stupid note writing!"

He felt awkward as hell but also relieved. "God, Cas, I'm so happy everyone made it, I didn't-"

"I know. I was surprised to hear how you worked with Gabriel. I thought you hated him."

"Hates's a strong word. Going into the trenches together changes perspective, you know?"

Castiel nodded. "That's what happened to me. Things seem so clear when you aren't in the middle of them. You made me realize that."

Dean looked at Castiel. "Cas, I wanna ask you something. Promise to be honest?"

The angel nodded, his eyes never leaving Dean's face. The hunter took a breath to steel himself.

"Why did you run away when I kissed you?"

*Look, I might have fallen in love with Jake Abel's portrayal of Adam and Michael in 15.08 (NOT 15.19). I liked the idea that Michael is not wholly evil, and I wanted to play with the concept from Samifer fics where they're made for each other and understand each other's POV. I thought Michael listening to Dean was an interesting twist on expectations :)