Warning: Okay, here we go... talk of poor mental health, suicide, bullying and gossip, manipulative behaviour and prior traumatic events.

It was the third night in a row that Rogue had woken, drenched in sweat and suffering the effects of a subconscious panic attack. It took an inordinate amount of time to pull herself out of bed, let alone take the short journey to the bathroom. As she leanedt against the bathroom tiles, under the steady stream, she tried to recall the dream, or nightmare that was causing her interrupted sleep.

She was walking home from school, only it wasn't in Bayville, but another school. One where she wore a uniform. It was a public school where everyone had to dress the same, although there was a major difference in the gender apparel.

The girls had to wear skirts that stopped at the knee, long shirts and a blazer with the school's emblem: St Jude, the patron saint of lost causes. The girls weren't allowed to remove their blazers even in the hot Florida weather. There was a sense that they should always appear modest and respectful. The boys, meanwhile, were able to walk around the school with their shirt sleeves rolled up and ties undone about the neck. There were regular checks throughout the day and punishments were dolled out for non-conformists.

It was still weeks until summer holidays but she felt no jubilation. An incident earlier had allowed her to put recent weeks in perspective. She'd had enough of the constant aggravation and fear for the next interaction. Hher attempts to fight back came to nothing and Annie had made it very clear that she wasn't done having her fun yet.

She pushed her face even closer as she held the sharp object to her opponent's throat.

"We're done when I say. Not before." She felt her breath on her face, felt her lean in even closer. What was she doing? Was she trying to hit on her or was it all part of the manipulation?

Annie left the bathroom, leaving her with the sense that either she act now or she may as well resign herself to being a victim for life. That wasn't an option, which meant there was only one thing left to do...

XxX

The water was cold when she reached for the tap, temporarily dazed by the resounding silence. As she reached for the towel, she heard the knock on the door.

"Are you alright, Rogue?"

She took a few seconds to answer. "Ah'm fayne. Ah couldn't sleep, but Ah'm fayne."

There was a slight pause. "I really think we should talk."

Talk? Why would Ah need to talk? Ah spend all my time talking!

"If you like, we can talk in the morning, but either way I must insist on this."

There really was no point delaying the inevitable. "Fayne. Give me a few minutes."

"I'll meet you in my office."

XxX

She sat before the Professor, waiting for him to start speaking, seeing as he was the instigator.

"This isn't the first time this has happened, has it?"

She shook her head.

"Why didn't you mention it?"

"Ah didn't think it was important."

His eyes widened as he felt a brief surge of anger. It wasn't aimed at Rogue but at the circumstances that had led her to this current situation. "Don't you think we would have wanted to help you?" She didn't reply and Charles decided to change tact. "You can talk to us about anything, Rogue. However unimportant or insignificant you believe it to be."

She'd pulled her knees up on the chair and was holding them tightly. Charles considered it a demonstration of youthfulness. Sometimes he found it difficult to recall that she was only sixteen.

"Is there anything troubling you?"

She shook her head.

"I know your grades have been consistent and I've received good reports about your progress in the danger room."

She nodded.

"How are you getting on with Wanda? Logan mentioned there has been some inconsistency with her training sessions."

"Ah'm not sure if Ah'm imagining it, but..."

"Yes?"

"Wanda's great when it's her and Logan. But the times Ah'm in there? It's lak she forgets what she's meant to be doing and thinks she has to help me when Ah really don't need it."

He was puzzled. "This bothers you?"

"Ah don't know why Ah'm being singled out."

"Perhaps she means well and wants to help?"

"Ah'd understand if she was helping the others."

"Then perhaps it's time to evaluate that." He gave a faint smile. "But that's not all that's bothering you, is it? I know I asked you to help Wanda, but I didn't expect you to be her sole confidante."

"Ah've tried getting the others involved."

"And?"

"It was a disaster."

Just last week, Rogue had suggested a shopping trip. It was at breakfast, so in front of everyone.

Kitty stared at her, shocked. "Well, sure but I thought you hated shopping?"

"Ah don't mind it when it's necessary. Or when it's to shops Ah lak."

"Well what kind of shops do you like?"

"Anything that isn't mainstream or conformist. Give me an independent shop over a chain brand any day. Y'all might pay a bit more, but you know it's worth it."

Kitty gave a smirk, eyeing up the dark colours she wore. "What have you got against, you know, fashion and style?"

Rogue had taken great delight in shaking off the shackles off her over-religious upbringing and selecting the style that suited her own personality. She loved anything 'dramatic' and would especially opt for bold colours with quirky emblems. Today's motif was one wide-sleeve bearing the outline of a dragon. The other arm held the outline of a skull.

"Ah've spent too long being told how to dress. Ah won't do it unless it's an emergency."

Kitty pouted. "But you wear the X-Men uniform."

Rogue's expression hardened and her eyes glared. "Lak Ah said, necessary."

Wanda came to find her later.

"Hey Rogue, can I have a word?"

"Sure what's up?"

"I think it's really good what you say about not conforming to dress codes and fashion. You should dress how you want."

Rogue hadn't been expecting that and was temporarily thrown. "Thanks, it's a bit of a pet peeve o'mine. Not everyone understands."

Wanda took her moment to sit on the edge of Rogue's bed. "I do. Don't worry about the others. They will never understand. Not really. They don't know what it's like to not have control of your own body. Not like we do."

There was something in Wanda's words that unsettled her.

She shrugged. "Maybe, but Ah'm sure they've got other issues that Ah couldn't understand?"

It was around this point that Kitty, who'd been feeling bad about how she challenged her friend had gone looking for Rogue. She should have realised that Rogue was trying to be sociable by mentioning the trip and instead she shut it down. There were voices coming from their room, so she paused.

"Like what? 'Oh it's so unfair, daddy won't get me a new car!'" It was a crude depiction of Jean, moaning about her car.

What had actually happened was that Jean's car was having troubles and Logan had offered to salvage the parts as Jean didn't want to trouble her parents. Rogue knew that whilst she didn't particularly like the other red-head, there were some things that shouldn't be brought up, meddled with or just plain taken out of context.

Rogue frowned, speaking softly. "That''s not fair Wanda."

Wanda was taken aback by Rogue's coldness. She had expected her to laugh it off!

So desperately, she tried to salvage the situation. "Fine. Whatever. Are we going shopping or what?"

Kitty backed away from the door and was unaware that Wanda had been aware of her presence. Kitty was bothered by the conversation and Wanda's lack of awareness. She waited until Wanda had returned to her room before entering her own. Rogue was grabbing her bag and obviously on her way out.

"There you are! I'm sorry about this morning."

Rogue frowned. "It's okay, it's no big deal."

"I was just surprised, but if you're going shopping, do you mind if I come?"

"Not at all."

Wanda was put out to see Kitty tagging along and stood firm by the passenger seat. Over the car journey, she kept Rogue talking and whenever Kitty tried to speak, she was spoken over.

Wanda proved forceful in choosing which shops they visited, pointing out each rare 'independent shop' and stating.

"Why don't you go there Kitty? Or is it not mainstream enough for you?"

Then at lunch, with Kitty being a vegetarian, Wanda suggested one of the main steakhouses with limited options for non-meat eaters.

"I've heard it's the best."

It was here that Wanda overplayed her hand. She was unaware that Rogue had had some eating difficulties not too long ago. Whilst Rogue was a meat-eater, she had developed a preference for meat that didn't look as though it came from an animal. By which, things like drumsticks, ribs and wings were off the menu. In fact, they caused her to projectile vomit. It hadn't been an issue so far but it wasn't a risk she was about to take.

"Look, Ah'm starving and if we go there, we'll be waiting ages. Besides, it's just lunch, there's no need for fancy eatin'."

After the meal, during which Wanda scowled at Kitty whenever Rogue was distracted, they decided to go to the movies but the only things showing were an all out horror show or a kids film.

"A bet I know which one you'll choose Kitty." Wanda whispered to the younger girl. "You haven't got the guts for horror."

Kitty felt challenged enough to agree to the horror but it was the worst two hours of her life. Part way through she'd had to run out to be sick and even then Wanda taunted her.

"You know it's not even real, you're such a baby!"

Kitty was quiet on the way back, while Wanda encouraged a discussion of the film in minute detail, from the amount of fake blood the film studio must have gone through to the various methods of killing used. Rogue managed to look into her mirror and saw how pale Kitty was. Wanda noticed the look.

"Looks like poor Kittykat can't stand a little blood."

Kitty felt so ashamed, she was almost in tears. She waited until Rogue had pulled up in the garage before running out.

"What's her problem? It was only a joke."

"Yeah well, some jokes ain't funny."

Rogue reached into the boot to pull out their bags and left Wanda's on the floor. She made it to the door that led to the house before Wanda spoke.

"Why did she have to come anyway?"

"It was an open invitation."

"So if Jean had wanted to come, you would have let her?"

They were standing in the doorway, where unbeknownst to Rogue, Scott had heard the raised voices.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Wanda didn't answer.

"Look, just lay off Kitty. She doesn't need your attitude." She turned away, almost bumping into Scott.

"My attitude?"

Rogue rolled her eyes. "You know exactly what Ah'm talking about. Just because some shit things have happened to you, it doesn't excuse shitty behaviour."

She strode along to the stairs, Scott running in her wake.

XxX

"Wanda apparently apologised to Kitty and she's chosen to let it go."

"And how do you feel about this?"

"It wasn't me that got hurt."

"No, but you were involved."

"Ah want to say the air's been cleared and it's done now."

"But?"

"Ah've been in these sort of scenarios before. Personality clashes, rivalries, they all start the same, especially when someone else thinks another is muzzling in where they don't belong. It doesn't end well. People get hurt."

XxX

Before Annie was a glimpse on the radar, Aliyanna's best friend was called Alleeya. The mom's had been part of an ante-natal group for mothers with babies due in June. The women were able to meet up, share pregnancy stories and bemoan the lack of their partners' involvement. Both Alleeya's parents worked at the hospital and quickly took Anna under their wing.

Their daughters were born on the same day, Alleeya in the morning, Aliyanna at night. When Anna was able to go back to work, the mothers worked opposite shifts, meaning between them, childcare wasn't an issue. Their daughters were together practically every day, thinking of each other's houses as their second homes. It really was an idyllic childhood.

So when the fancy house across the road was sold to a widowed father with a daughter the same age as the two girls, it seemed only natural that the two should become three. Only it didn't happen that way.

XxX

The following morning's danger room session was in full swing and Rogue was watching from the control room. After their talk, Charles had insisted she skipped the session, so they could see how Wanda interacted with the rest of the team. Kitty was paired with Scott as they completed the task. He'd been the first to talk to Rogue after the shopping saga.

"What was all that about?"

"Wanda's been playing games all day. Ah was done."

"Do you want me to talk to her?"

Rogue laughed. "And say what? Look, it's probably better if you stayed out of it. Ah've said my piece and hopefully all this will just blow away."

"Rogue, we can't have you and Wanda at odds. You're team-mates and..."

"And teammates can't argue?"

"If there's an issue..."

"Look, she was being really mean to Kitty all day. Ah called her out on it."

"Kitty, is this true?"

The girl nodded, exhausted.

"No-one should be allowed to insult Kitty. It'll be lak taking a whole bag of new born kittens and chucking them in the rivah."

"Hey!" Shrieked the offended Kitty.

Scott grinned, neither agreeing or disagreeing. Like the others, he'd been uneasy about having Wanda join their team, though if someone like Rogue could get on with her, it made him feel as though he had to step up.

Even so, Kitty remained wary.

XxX

The next test would be to have Rogue in the same sessions again, to test her theory about Wanda. For now, Rogue was content to watch and learn.

Without Rogue to protect, Wanda's focus was second to none. She had no fear of their opponents and made rapid decisions. She did however have a tendency to take over and neglect the potential power of her teammate, leading to vague feeling of resentment. It was something Scott picked up on in the debrief.

"You need to work together with your teammate. Trust each other, that's what it means being in a team."

Wanda scowled behind his back.

XxX

Scott and Rogue were enjoying a rare moment of privacy outside the mansion. He'd decided they needed to brave the shops, her birthday featuring prominently on his mind.

"You've got to at least give me a clue."

"You don't have to get me anything."

"I want to though. Come on, let's go in here."

Here was one of the shops he knew she favoured for it's unique and rare treasures. The shop was a mix of jewellery, scented candles and bath products and was pricier than the regular stores. He watched as Rogue lingered around the charms and saw the way she lightly touched the ones depicting the horoscopes. He had a vague memory of the events that transpired after they discovered Mystique was Kurt's mother. Rogue had fought on their side absorbing some of Pietro's powers before having to deal with the excess energy. She'd spoken of how she'd laid on a park bench, looking up at the stars, searching the skies for constellations... before being grabbed by Sabertooth.

It all became clear and he knew what to get his girlfriend. What was more, he knew it was something the Professor would appreciate knowing.

They'd barely made it back before he heard the summons from the Professor.

'Scott, I can tell you're eager to speak to me. Come and join us in my office.'

Rogue was startled when Scott practically ran to her dad's office, with barely a "See you later." She shook her head in bemusement.

XxX

That night, she dreamed she was in the woods, separated from her team. Her limbs were exhausted from the many miles she'd been forced to run and there were still so many to go. Her chest was heavy and her stomach was protesting against the minimal amount of nourishment she'd been allowed before the exercise began.

"This is a test," she told herself, recalling what Sergent Crush'em and Corporal Basher had told them. "A test of character, tenacity and willpower." The purpose of the exercise was to showcase who had the survival instincts needed to complete the task. After the run, which consisted of thirty miles in total, came the assault course.

Anyone who failed the course, was left victim to the elements.

There was no such thing as second place.

No victory for losers.

You run until exhaustion bites and then you run more.

Many proved they were not strong enough and in punishment, were deprived the honour of a burial.

There were no records, no death announcements to be made.

No-one would mourn the destitute and scourge of society.

No-one cared.

She heard voices above her. Someone was talking but she couldn't make out the words. Couldn't see the faces. Everything was a blur...

"Rogue, wake up, you're okay. You're at the institute."

Someone was shaking her, her bones rattled in protest and she was so tired.

"Rogue!"

Kitty and Scott were by her side, their faces full of concern that she couldn't hold back the tears. She cried into Scott's chest, curling herself up small. Someone was patting her back.

"Everyone, please return to bed. Scott, please bring Rogue to my office."

Rogue gave no protest as he scooped her up and out of bed, bringing her downstairs. He was reluctant to leave her, but one look at the Professor made it obvious he was not welcome.

"This is more than a dream, isn't it Rogue? I need you to be honest now, otherwise I won't be able to help you."

"Ah can't tell if it's real or not."

"Perhaps you've been there before?"

"Ah can't remember."

"Rogue, look at me. We will get to the bottom of this. If you allow me, I will search through your memories and see if we can piece this together."

"What, what does that involve?"

He took her hand, she'd buried in the material of her pyjamas. "I think it's best that I enter your mind and try and find what it is that causes these dreams. They may be repressed memories, either yours or someone else's."

"You mean lak Logan?"

"Perhaps or perhaps not. There are gaps in your medical history. In fact, the most prominent one lasting several months, roughly three years ago. Logan has filled me in on the events leading up to that time."

She met his stare straight on. "You know, don't you?"

"Yes."

"It was the only way. She would have never let me go. Ah had to do it. She would have killed me. Ah was already dying inside. Please, don't hate me. You didn't know me. Ah was nothing to you..."

Growing, increasingly distressed, he stayed calm, allowing the emotion to wear her out. When she was asleep once more, he had Logan take her down to the infirmary.

"It's best she's where we can look after her for now."

It was a long time before either succumbed to sleep.

XxX

When morning came, the Professor advised the school that she wouldn't be attending that day. The others were to forgo the day's training and were asked not to discuss the matter.

Rogue woke just before noon, to the sound of Hank making notes for some of his research.

He sensed her eyes on him and smiled.

"Well good morning. How do you feel?"

"Lak Ah've just gone head to head with Logan, only he thinks Ah'm Sabertooth."

"Well, I'm sure your father will be aware you're up by now. He can explain to you what will happen."

The doors of the infirmary opened revealing both Charles and Logan. Both men gave a vague estimation of a warm smile, before placing the tray down before her.

"Eat up kid, you'll need the energy."

Rogue picked at the pancakes distractedly, not really away of eating them as they told her what would happen.

Charles would try to search her mind for the events that had triggered the dream. He believed that there were clues to be found from her pre-dawn jogging sessions, to the initial Danger room session where the recollection differed from the rest of the team.

Then, they'd replay that scenario and see what further clues were to be found.

XxX

"I want you to relax, this isn't going to hurt."

She sat with her legs crossed on the sofa in the office, her mind trying to recreate the events of the dream.

Charles found himself assuming her position, running around the wooded stretch of land. It was a strange situation after suffering the loss of his legs. However, that didn't make for an easy transition. Normally, when he entered a person's mind, he was able to remain as a spectator. Perhaps it was their genetic connection that placed him in this position? Either way, that was the position he found himself in. As well as feeling the toll of the exercise, he was also able to assess her mental state. Words echoed in a loop around their head, as though they had been systematically induced.

Her felt the exhaustion, the nausea and the absolute hunger as the proceeded about the trail.

Footsteps were heard in the distant growing steadily faint before they faded to nothing. They didn't stop.

"No-one stops until they're dead."

XxX

Charles was thoughtful as Rogue awakened, slowly.

"How do you feel?" He asked, distractedly.

"Ah'm not sure. A part of me feels violated but the rest is glad someone has seen it."

"Did you have these dreams before?"

She shook her head.

"Well, no matter. I think it's best if you get ready for your training session. Logan will be accompanying you."

He watched her leave the office as he thought over what he'd discovered. There were no particular identifying features of the location Rogue had found her in. He wondered how she had found herself in such a place, or if indeed it was an elaborate deception or desperate attempt to cover the missing months?

XxX

Scott arrived at the infirmary shortly after returning to the institute. He'd done his best to assure everyone that Rogue would be fine and that the instructors were taking care of her.

So of course he was alarmed to hear where she was and hastened to see her, ignoring Jean's attempts to reassure him.

Rogue was leaning back, listening to music when he appeared. She fumbled with her i-phone to pause it and looked up at him.

"Hey, how come you're still here? I thought you would have been in your own room by now?"

Rogue cleared her throat. "That was the plan, until Ah threw up."

"Where?"

"The Danger room. Logan was p..."

"I think you mean he was concerned." stated Hank who'd been in the far corner upon Scott's arrival.

Rogue half-whispered. "He was pissed." out of Hank's ear-shot.

Scott grinned.

"What happened?"

"I think you should let Logan do the explaining. Rogue is supposed to be resting. He's in with the Professor but will be in shortly."

"Can I get you anything? Will you be back in your room tonight?"

Rogue opened her mouth to answer but Hank got there first. "We'll be keeping an eye on her tonight and then we'll re-assess things tomorrow. Oh and please substitute Rogue's definition of throwing up for ''projectile vomiting" and that should give you a clear indication of what we're dealing with." He added with a grin. Not that he was smiling at Rogue's sickness, but her frequent habit of downplaying her condition.

Scott grinned at the girl. "In that case, I've got some errands to run. I'll see you later."

She blew him a kiss, knowing even if they could kiss for real, he wouldn't want to.

XxX

He was on his way out to his car, when Jean passed him by.

"How's Rogue?"

"Yeah she's fine."

She grabbed his arm. "Is there anything we need to know? If this is an ongoing issue, surely the team need to be aware..."

He stopped, unsure of what he had heard. "It's a personal issue that is being dealt with. That's all you need to know." He shook her off and continued to his car.

"Scott wait.."

Her only response was his retreating back.

XxX

When he returned, Logan and the Professor were in with Rogue, but Charles waved him in.

"I thought you might this." He pulled out the tub of ice-cream from the grocery bag he carried. Rogue thought it sweet that he'd brought her ice-cream, but wished he'd gone for something other than vanilla.

'Perhaps vanilla is best for now.', came the voice of Charles in her head. She eyed him, annoyed at the intrusion but conceded he was probably correct.

"Thank-you Scott."

"No problem."

XxX

Meanwhile, Wanda had witnessed the interaction between Scott and Jean. Since her argument with Rogue, she'd been laying low but had had enough of being cautious.

She heard some of the younger students gossiping about the frission between their team-leaders. It was all harmless banter. No-one knew anything and so they imagined everything.

It was relatively easy to immerse herself in their conversation, dropping hints in a way that seemed someone had mentioned things but no-one could remember who suggested it.

Things like, "Isn't Scott sweet to be running Rogue's errands for her."

and "Did you see how Scott by-passed Jean for Rogue?"

and "What does he see in her? They can't even kiss. What's the point?"

These little seeds had been sewn and were thrown around the institute while Rogue was in the infirmary. It felt peaceful to be away from teenage drama but it left Kitty and Kurt feeling awkward.

They spoke about it amongst themselves, whether or not to tell Rogue.

"She should be resting but perhaps it vould be vurst to hear it later?"

"Yeah, like I would want to know if people were talking about me."

It was decided. They would speak to Rogue but by the time they reached her, she wasn't alone.

"Oh, hi Wanda."

The girl grinned. She'd overheard their conversation and had decided to be the one to mention it. It was with slight annoyance that Rogue hadn't really reacted. In fact she'd seemed philosophical.

"Ah'm sure it's all just gossip. That's what teenagers are known for."

"Yeah but it doesn't have to be so nasty. I think it's low how their making fun of your inability to touch. Like being able to kiss is the most important thing."

Rogue was quiet then, answering when spoken to but without any real energy. She was happy when the left.

Despite all this, Scott continued to visit and gave no indication that he knew nor cared about the gossip. This was a god thing. It meant that she could draw on his strength and concentrate on the important things. Lak, finding out why she was so messed up?

Her dad had done the 'hypno-immersion' thing again, (it was the only way she'd been able to explain it to herself) and this time had recalled how she had been intent on 'finishing the course'. What course? How was she able to do anything when they were monitoring her constantly? And where was this course anyhow? How had she got there? What would happen if she didn't finish the course? Would she continue this way, reliving things but unable to explain what they meant? Throwing up any time she tried to eat something half-decent?