Luke had taught that the power of the Dark Side fed off of negative emotions. If so, Kira should have been invincible. Every negative emotion he had warned his students of swirled in her heart, woven into a black chaos.

Loathing. Panic. Disappointment. Uselessness. Shame.

She felt so weak. At least Luke Skywalker had taught her how to properly identify that.

"Kira," said a soothing voice.

"It hurts."

"Breathe. Just, breathe."

Hiccupping, she choked on the lump of air in her throat. If it was as easy as just breathing, she wouldn't be gasping on the ground like a fish while the Resistance fighters looked on in disgust.

To fix things they'd have to be broken first, like resetting a badly-healed bone or suturing a wound that kept reopening. But what if- what if she couldn't put the pieces back together? What if it only became worse? Or what if she failed so utterly that nothing could be salvaged?

"Breathe, Kira."

Blinding pain stabbed at her temples as she whimpered and covered her eyes. Maybe it was her, broken beyond hope, powerless to repair what she'd done.

You may be broken, but it is your choice to fall apart, or to hold on.

"I always choose wrong," Kira sobbed. "I don't want to choose anymore."

You have always chosen to be alone. But that is not the way of the Force.

Being alone hadn't been a deliberate choice, had it? No, it was her lot in life, from nameless scavenger to forgotten dictator.

Within the Force, there is a push and pull, ebb and flow, give and take. The basic tenet was familiar knowledge, something that all Force sensitives felt to be true. There was Light and there was Dark.

Let go of a child's understanding. The Force is so much more complex than Light and Dark. It is a seeking of balance. That is not possible without connectedness.

She exhaled with a shudder, flexing numb fingers. Tears trickled in wet salty rivers. Ben had said, "You're not alone" and she had said the same to him. When had she forgotten?

Ben. Ben was alone right now. She needed to help him, to hold together for a while longer until he was safe.

Maybe then, if he allowed it, he could help heal what was broken, together? But that was a question for a later time. For now, he needed Kira to pick herself up off the ground.

Opening her eyes, she found Ahsoka Tano sitting with hands on knees and a peaceful expression. Kira sat up straighter, finally realizing it had been Ahsoka's voice she heard, waiting on the fringes of the maelstrom.

"I'm sorry," Kira whispered, eyes fixed on the dirt.

Ahsoka blinked, then smiled. "No, I'm sorry. I should've prepared you better for the after effects of hibernation. With your body weakened, it was a much harsher transition for you than the rest of the team."

"It's not just my body that is weak." Ahsoka had felt the brittle broken thing that was her mind, after all. Pretending otherwise was pointless.

Ahsoka tipped her head. "You are weakened, not weak. You are exhausted, fatigued, and burdened. You're stronger than you know, Kira. But you have others to help carry this mission. Let us help."

"I am," Kira said with a defensive raising of her chin, straightening the shirt and jacket she'd borrowed from a drawer in the Falcon. "I came to them for help because," she swallowed, "because I can't let Ben suffer for my mistakes."

Kira took a shuddering breath, mouth open, caught on the fear of her next words.

Ahsoka waited.

"But what if I'm the reason this mission fails? Weak or weakened, I shouldn't have come."

Ahsoka's large expressive blue eyes fixed her with a discerning look. "Is this because of what Anakin said to you?"

Kira startled. "How did you know?"

"He seemed frustrated and upset when I spoke with him. Asked for a 'favor' but refused to admit what he'd done."

Kira's hands fisted in the fabric of her trousers. "He said bringing Ben with me would only end with him lost forever."

Ahsoka's eyes closed and she crossed her arms with a long suffering sigh. "Why am I fixing his mistakes even after all of these years?"

Kira stared at her hands fiddling with the drab olive fabric of her trousers.

"He probably had decent intentions with whatever 'advice' he shared," Ahsoka continued, "but he tends to fall flat on the delivery. Just because he's dead doesn't make him wise, it just makes him more pretentious."

Kira lifted her gaze to the other woman's. "What does that mean?"

"Reflect on what I said. The Force is Balance. If you insist on taking one facet of it to the exclusion of all others, you will lose. Living with Ben in the Dark would destroy you both."

"I fail to see the difference from what Vader said."

"The choice is not between Ben and the Dark. The possibilities before you are many."

"Then why did Vader…"

"What can I say?" Ahsoka shared a rueful smile. "Talking is not his forte."

Kira considered. "You knew Anakin well."

"I did. He'd claim he taught me everything I know, but I learned more from his mistakes than the lectures he attempted to enlighten me with. I was his padawan."

Kira blinked. "Oh."

Ahsoka grinned. "That's about right."

Off to the side, Finn cleared his throat and they looked up. He shifted uneasily. "We need to go. Silyana's left and hasn't come back."

"How long ago?" Kira asked. She hadn't noticed when they had left her to Ahsoka, but everyone had donned their gear and were waiting a short distance away.

"Thirty minutes ago."

Damn it. The longer they lingered, the more likely they were to be detected. Kira made to stand, and found Ahsoka's hand held out in offering. She hesitated, glancing at Ahsoka's kind eyes, then grasped tight and allowed herself to be pulled upright on trembling legs.

"Are you alright to climb?" Finn asked dubiously. Kira met his look, but there was no derision there, only practical concern.

"I will be." She dusted off her clothing. "We cannot lose Silyana."

"No, we can't," Poe blurted, adjusting his gear. Kira narrowed her eyes at him. "Let's hurry."

They descended the ramp, Poe giving the little orange-and-white droid a pat on the head before he was left to guard the shuttle. If their plan already wasn't held together by spit and hope, Kira might've had more objections, but there was never a guarantee in the best of times. Besides, the realization that BB-8 was the same tenacious droid that had tried her patience on Jakku was reassuring, even though she was sure he was glaring when passing by to reach the exit ramp.

The hike cleared her mind, and stretched her muscles, even the burn of her lungs filling with the heated fumes of the lava was welcome, though she kept a lowered gaze, avoiding the others' eyes. With each step, the mission seemed less impossible, if still improbable. As long as she managed to reach Ben, maybe it could be alright.

Standing at the bottom of the cliff next to the scalding sulphur falls, her eyes rose to the top of the imposing black rock face.

"Where's Silyana?" Poe demanded, eyes wide. "She came this way, I thought. Did we pass her?"

Kira pointed straight up and everyone craned their necks.

"What is that?"

"That is Silyana giving us a boost."

Poe let out a heavy breath, and Kira turned to examine what looked like genuine relief playing across his features, then turned back to the tiny black figure he was fixated on. Their mutual protectiveness was obvious, but could it be that he genuinely… No, Silyana wouldn't allow it, would she? They hadn't known each other that long, how could they possibly — how long had it been though? A frown weighed on Kira's face, and an all too familiar heaviness twisted in her heart.

The rope swayed as it inched toward them from high above.

"Is she — is she already up there?" Poe asked, and was that frustration or admiration in his tone? A spike of jealousy twisted her lip. What gave him the right?

"It would seem so," Ahsoka said. "Kira?"

Shaking off irritation, Kira raised hands with Ahsoka and they guided the rope down together, preventing the weighted end from being caught by the wind and triggering an electromine. The others donned their harnesses and secured their packs for the climb.

Once the rope was within reach, they took turns beginning the arduous ascent. Poe eagerly went first. Kira followed him onto the cliff. The technical aspect of the climb was not difficult, the memory of a thousand climbs in her fingertips. The physical aspect was more challenging, with the last remnants of hibernation sickness and general fatigue making her clumsy on the sharp cutting volcanic rocks that threatened to scrape off her skin.

When Silyana reached over the edge of the platform, offering her a hand, it was probably nothing more than a courtesy, but the relief that coursed through her was like a drug, untwisting that heaviness in her chest just a bit. She stumbled upright on the platform and Silyana immediately turned to pull Rose up. But maybe — maybe Kira could hold onto the pieces.

After Rose disabled the ray shield, they entered the open maw of the tunnel single file, cringing at odd shadows and stray echoes. Ahsoka took care of the security cameras, but each second that passed was another mark against them. Soon, the ripples their passing caused would become waves, the further they went the greater the disturbance.

At the first juncture, Rose pried a panel from the wall set about slicing into the Citadel's security while the others watched the three inner doors.

Ahsoka followed her to the left doorway and asked, "Can you sense him?"

Kira bent all her focus towards the bond. The perception of him was diffuse but steady, nearer than before. Still unconscious then, but not quite so weakened as he had been.

Ben, she thought, and felt his awareness stir and rise before slipping away. She gritted her teeth. If Hux had so much as scratched him…

"Ben is close, and he's alright, for now," Kira finally answered.

"Are the others familiar to you?"

"The others?"

Ahsoka tilted her head. "The fearful one and the bitter one."

Kira expanded her perception, searching for who Ahsoka referred to. The Citadel was almost lifeless except for their crew and the subdued sense of Ben, but then, further into the structure, brushed up against two sentients with powerful Force signatures. Just as she had feared.

"The Knights," Kira scoffed. "Tirian Ren and Ymiré Ren."

Ahsoka stood and stared down the empty corridor, arms loose at her sides. "Everyone on this mission knows where your priorities lie, Kira Ren. But do not forget them, how quickly they offered their assistance."

"I know what I owe them," she retorted.

"Perhaps their help is a gift, not a loan."

Kira swallowed, mouth dry. She looked at Silyana, standing next to Poe close enough to touch, posture comfortable and attentive.

"Do not make others a burden when they are not, Kira. Is this why you've come for Ben? Because of an obligation?"

No, she hadn't, though she owed him her life many times over. A sense of obligation may have been an element, but their connection was so multifaceted and intricately woven it would take years of study for her to parse her motivations.

She wanted him, though. Needed him like air, like warmth on a cold desert night, like water under the blistering sun.

"I cannot live without him," she answered at last.

Ahsoka laughed a little and Kira scowled, shuffling her feet.

"That may be true in your case," Ahsoka allowed with a grin. "But aside from that. You don't want to be alone any longer, and Ben could be the answer to your loneliness. But you could also let yourself have more."

Kira's gaze returned Silyana with Poe. "I don't deserve that."

"Hmm," was all the reply Ahsoka offered.

Kira crossed her arms. "We may not live past today. What does it matter?"

"We'll see."

That was when Finn's shout shattered the wary calm and all hell broke loose. Battle droids poured into the room from Finn's doorway and blaster fire pressed them back against the walls. Ahsoka tugged on the Force and sent Finn stumbling to safety between them, then they were forming a wall of flashing saber arcs, deflecting furious plasma bolts. Kira caught a glimpse of Rose diving toward shelter behind Silyana's blade.

What the droids lacked in aptitude they made up for in numbers, advancing over their fallen comrades without hesitation.

"Finn," Silyana yelled. "Fall back!"

Kira snapped her wrist to block a bolt aimed at her flank, and let Finn pull her away from the steadily advancing horde. Ahsoka, too, was drawn back through the left door. Finn fell on the control panel to shut the blast door and Kira cast a frantic look across the way, Silyana's name tripping on her tongue. I'm sorry, she mouthed when glacier blue eyes caught hers with an inscrutable expression. The door snapped shut, the rumbling of blaster fire muffled into the far side.

"No!" Kira cried.

"Anyone hurt?" Finn gasped, bent over, hands on knees.

"We have to move," Ahsoka said. "They'll be planning to corner us."

Kira's throat worked, ears ringing. That couldn't be it. She felt sick at the thought, but no, she would see her again, she needed to make it right with Silyana. Exhaling, she disengaged her saber. "We need a map. Rose needs to retrieve the map."

"She likely has it," Ahsoka said in a steady voice. "With how fast she works, I'm sure."

Kira resisted the urge to stamp her foot. "Then we have to reach them —"

The comms on their wrists crackled, then Poe's voice came through. "Team Unlikely, this is Team Handsome. Do you read us?"

Finn coughed a laugh before cutting himself off.

Ahsoka lifted her wrist and replied, "Yes, Team Handsome, we copy."

"Excellent. Rose knows where they're keeping Ben, but wasn't able to disarm the security measures in time."

Rose's voice broke in. "Take the ventilation shaft away from us and you'll run into the main gas pipeline. It'll be tight but once you reach the pipeline they won't be able to shoot without blowing up the whole compound, if they find you. We're going to find another system access point so I can guide you to Ben."

The comm squealed with Silyana's sharp words. "We have to go!"

Kira let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding at the sound of Silyana's voice.

"Alright, alright. Team Handsome, out."

Ahsoka lowered her arm. In the sudden silence, the crackling, whiny voices of battle droids ricocheted down the corridor. Kira glanced around for the ventilation shaft, but Finn had already pried the grate open and it hung by its hinges from the ceiling.

"Ladies first," he said grimly.

Her fatigued muscles quaked at the thought of crawling and climbing for hundreds of feet. Ahsoka spared an encouraging glance before jumping for the grate, pulling herself up by the fingertips into the shaft. Fortifying herself with an exhale through clenched teeth Kira leapt up, fingers scrambling but successfully catching on the sharp lip of the entrance. Her arms trembled from the effort of lifting her weight through the opening into the darkness above. Ahsoka's hand hooked under her shoulder and heaved until Kira sprawled on the cool metal. Finn grunted and followed, then the grate clanged shut.

"Which way?" Finn asked, panting.

Ahsoka pointed left into the gloom. "If I remember correctly. And the smell should guide us soon enough."

The gawky sounds of marching droids echoed from the corridor below. They wasted no time heading further into the Citadel.

Crawling after Ahsoka, Kira reached out to Ben once again, but his response was the same, muted and unaware.

Be with me, she begged. Stay. Wait. I'm coming.

Something flickered at the other end of the bond, like a sleepy sigh, an arm seeking a lover between the sheets. Startled, she almost pulled away, but then relaxed into the unconscious touch.

"It's just up ahead," Ahsoka's whisper drifted back along with the putrid smell of the green gas before reaching out to start spinning the valve that would let them into the pipeline. Then the door was open and, glancing both ways, she dropped through.

"Team Unlikely, this is Team Handsome, do you read?"

Kira hissed a curse at the static bludgeoning their nervous silence.

Finn answered. "Yes, Poe, we read you."

"Great. You're not far from Ben."

Rose interjected, "I can disable the traps and cams along the way, but you have to move quickly. They know I'm in the system and they're coming for us."

"They're what?" Poe yelped.

"Shut up, Poe," Silyana snapped.

Kira levered herself through the opening and reached back to help Finn. Ahsoka trotted towards the giant pipe that leaked wisps of sulphur-hued fumes under yellowed maintenance lights.

"I'll stay with you as long as I can," Rose said. "The droid brains that run the security system won't be able to kick me out. Just hurry."

"Where do we go?" Kira said while trying to breath through her mouth.

"Start by going down the pipeline. There's another access port under the detention block."

A renewed sense of urgency lightened her feet, and she couldn't help overtaking Ahsoka. The bond grew more tangible with each step. After some minutes, Rose guided them to a ladder in the wall that led to a panel in the ceiling, several lengths above. Grasping the first rung, she barely felt her aching limbs anymore scampering upwards without pausing. Ahsoka followed with surefooted ease, Finn with more deliberate movements.

The panel's lock disintegrated with a swipe of her sputtering crimson blade. Clean air gusted out of the endlessly high shaft beyond. Kira was up and through the entrance, Ahsoka and Finn close behind.

"You're in the central ventilation system now," Rose told them, the crackle and pop of the comm reverberating up the shaft. "The detention center is ten levels above where you are."

The climb was a shaky adrenaline high that she wouldn't remember later. The thread connecting her and Ben was growing more defined, a pulsing synapse, and when she found the vent Rose directed them to, she snatched her saber up with a free hand, cut it from the wall, and kicked it in.

Throwing herself through the ring of heat coming off the glowing edges, she rolled and leapt to her feet, coming face to face with several droids, lined up in rows down the cell bock. These had shortened faces and slitted binary oculuses. Elite separatist battle droids. She hefted her lightsaber and widened her stance.

These droids were much more ferocious, designed for close combat in confined quarters, flexible and calculating. While several shot rapid fire plasma, others simply launched themselves with claws outstretched.

Kira dodged and weaved, light footed, oblivious to her popping joints and straining muscles. Ahsoka burst through the opening, hand thrusting out to send a stack of droids flailing back into the crossfire. Finn was quick to join, picking off combatants with precise shots straight through the oculus.

The cacophony of shrieks and clatters and rumbles drowned out any directive from Rose, but she didn't need help now to find Ben.

He was there, on the other side of that cell door, and he was waking up to her proximity.

The bond gave a strong pulse like an electrical shock to the heart.

Kira waded in, cutting down droids that swarmed the walls and ceiling, chattering and clacking as they tried to drag her down.

She cried out as a plasma bolt winged her ear. The searing static rattled her back from the precipice of panic. Remember to breathe, Kira, Ahsoka chastised. Obeying, she bit back the edge of desperation that tried to shove her forward without regard. She withdrew and joined Ahsoka, moving in tandem to destroy every droid that attempted an attack, and deflecting bolts aimed at Finn.

But there were more droids, pouring in from the end of the cell block. With a thrust of her saber, Ahsoka spitted two droids on a sparkling white plasma beam, then assessed the encroaching horde and shouted, "Finn, trigger the emergency locks!"

He hesitated. The blast doors would block their escape, unless Ben could somehow manage the climb down into the pipeline which was unlikely. Regardless, the security system knew how they'd gotten in and would cut off that route.

"Do it!"

Finn shifted his stance, sighting the door's locking mechanism. He shot once, twice, and the panel bloomed with sparks. The blast doors snapped shut, crushing a few unlucky droids and trapping the rest.

Kira grinned maniacally. This would be a slaughter.

When the final droid twitched for the last time, the trio stood up to their calves in dismembered mechanical limbs, panting. After a brief moment, Finn raised the comm on his wrist. "Rose?"

Nothing but static.

"Team Handsome, do you read?"

Silence.

Finn shook the comm in frustration. "Can you get them on yours?"

Kira and Ahsoka tried to hail them, but no one responded. They've been discovered, she thought, clamping down the helplessness.

"I think comms may be shut down," Finn said with a deep frown. "Try yours."

They did, but all they got was dead silence, not even a crackle. The ominous silence stretched thin.

"The Knights of Ren will be coming," Kira said.

"The what now?" Finn exclaimed.

"The remaining Knights are here. They will know of our presence," she said, sweeping a hand around the devastated hallway.

"I — I didn't know that was a thing. I thought it was just First Order officers and droids." He rubbed his temples, blaster rifle dangling from the other hand. "Are they here to help? Or?"

Kira scoffed. "They're coming to finish their shitty attempt at assassination."

Ahsoka shook her head, eyes distant. "They're not coming for us. They're going for your friends."

Kira's eyes grew hard. That weight in her chest twisted.

"Rose?" Finn demanded.

"We cannot reach them now." Ahsoka's gaze returned to the present. "They're on the other side of the compound. We'll have to help them by sticking to the plan."

Finn sucked in a breath through clenched teeth, but he knew the reality. The rest of their team had inadvertently bought them time by drawing Tirian and Ymire off, but each second was torture for Kira, knowing Ben was on the other side of the door. Though she would enjoy cutting down the traitors, Silyana would be smart enough to hold them for a time.

Kira pressed her palms flat against the cell door. When the blast doors had closed, the cells had also sealed, and the controls didn't respond to her touch. The vents would be too small; the only way in was the front.

"It won't open," she cried, and at any other time would have been embarrassed by the raw desperation in her voice. Ahsoka came beside her and lit her saber.

"This is never fun," she said and plunged the glimmering white beam through the thick durasteel to the hilt. The metal began to liquify and shimmer around the blade. Biceps bulging, Ahsoka began to carve a glowing line upwards. Kira mirrored her, stabbing the angry crimson lightsaber into the stubborn door.

They met in the middle and together pulled the newly-hewn chunk out of the door. As soon as it was settled on the floor with a thud, Kira was through, careless of the molten edges.

Ben.

His name caught in her throat and her limbs locked.

He hung suspended by his wrists, head bowed. The blue energy field that restrained him blurred his bare hands and feet, lank hair hanging over his face. She took a step forward, stopped.

An interrogation droid hovered in the corner, its one red eye impassive, but Finn was already taking aim and it hit the ground, leaving nothing but a smoking shell. Ahsoka stepped past and jabbed a white saber into the base of the force field, the interference causing it to shiver, then fail with a zap. Suddenly Ben was falling, and Kira leapt forward to catch him.

Under his dead weight she tumbled to the floor, ignoring the bruising jolt to her tailbone and elbow.

"Ben," she whispered, cradling him in her arms, turning his face up. His cheeks were gaunt, eyes bruised, a yellow splatter of contusions along his forehead. She ran trembling fingers over his arms and chest, fumbled for a pulse. Besides a port in his arm, likely to administer the sedative, they hadn't done much to help or harm him.

"Ben," she repeated, pleading. "Be with me. Wake up, please." She traced the line of bruises on his forehead, over his temple. Along his jaw, across his lips, up his cheekbone, his brow, down his nose.

Her hand dropped to his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart. She closed her eyes. He had healed her, brought her back from the brink of death, so she could surely bring him back from this sleep.

Wake, Ben. I'm here. I've come for you. Be with me.

The bond shivered, his heartbeat picking up under her touch. Awareness unfurled between them, reached towards her across the connection. Kira extended all her will and pulled him towards the surface, towards consciousness.

"Rey?"

Her eyes fluttered open and found Ben blinking foggily up at her. "Ben," she whispered.

"Rey." His brow creased in uncertainty and he reached up to brush a finger against her cheek over the scar. Another slow blink, and a boyish grin broke across his face. "I love you."

Kira's heart squeezed, breath stuttering. Finn choked and Ahsoka frowned sadly.

Ben patted her cheek, head still resting in her lap, words slurring, "It's true. I love you."

Face flaming, she said, "C-can you sit up?"

"Oh." Ben blinked. "Yes." He struggled upright, swaying slightly, then immediately took her face in his hands, and surged forward for a clumsy kiss.

She stopped him with a push on his chest. "No."

Ben pouted. "Why not?"

"You're still high."

Frowning, he thought about it for a few seconds, then his expression turned playful. "I think you're right." He actually giggled.

"Oh, Force," she muttered. This part might be harder than they had planned. He was still fixated on her mouth but she firmly held him off.

Finn emphatically cleared his throat. "We need to go."

"Why?" Ben said, petulant, but Kira was already urging him to his feet.

"We need to save your friends," she said, drawing his arm over her shoulders.

A/N: Thank you for your patience with me blowing my deadline almost every time. Also, we'll see if this thing actually wraps in three chapters. Any bets? Lol

I'm aiming for an update in two weeks, April 11.