A/N: I am so tired of the cold. So, so tired of the cold. I can't wait until our team is out of the mountains because even just writing this makes me cold!
Guest review replies:
Elendyr – Not one of Hope's finest moments, but it was worth a shot? Maybe? Sazh is such a father figure which is nice to have for this pack of orphans. I like his connection with the group, and it was such a loss to not have him in much of the sequels. So, I just have to fix it here ;) Thank you so much!
Guest – Hello again. Grief is not an excuse, but it can be a reason. Grief can turn people to suicide, addiction, and yes, even murder. What Cass was about to do was inexcusable and was undeniably a betrayal, but saying that it was an easy path for him to take may be oversimplifying things. But that's my opinion. Thank you for reviewing!
Winter was thick around them, the snow's density and the freezing temperatures crowding out most thoughts other than their need to move forward, push harder, get out alive. Days dragged into excruciatingly long nights. The quilted, patchwork clouds closed off the sky. As they trudged forward, the scenery remained bleak, their skin frozen stiff as the snow fell in heaps. The wind came in bitter gusts, tugging at their clothes, threatening to pull them back three feet for every one that they managed to gain. Hope couldn't feel his lips or the tips of his toes. He had his bags strapped achingly tight to his body so the wind couldn't abscond with any of their supplies. He cringed every time he caught sight of Lightning, her eyelashes icy and skin translucent enough that he could trace the blue lines of her veins. Zalera said that it would take four to six days just to get out of the Argodian Mountains. With three lengthy, treacherous days under their belt, Hope had to wonder if they would ever see the sun again.
"This journey sounded a lot more favorable when we were sittin' 'round a campfire in our warm little cave!" Sazh shouted before burrowing his face down into his jacket. "I'm gonna be a Popsicle by the time we finally get outta this mess. I think my hair's frozen solid."
"That would be a fro-sicle then, wouldn't it?" Hope nudged Sazh's forearm with his elbow, stiff cheeks struggling to produce a smile.
"Oh, ha-ha. Just hilarious."
Zalera spared a glance behind her from her position at the head of the group. "Quit your griping, old man. We'll leave you here. I'm sure the beasts would love a good meal. Frozen or not."
Sazh waved the humored banter off. He stumbled, but kept forward, shuffling along in the trail Zalera left behind.
"Let's just keep moving!" Lightning commanded over the shrill whistle of the wind.
Hope snapped his focus forward, taking his own beaten path behind Lightning. The snow was waist-deep, causing them to slog forward through its hefty mass. Swinging his arms with his legs to keep pace exerted more energy than he had expected at the beginning of the trek. He kept himself a couple paces behind Sazh, concerned by the toll that these conditions may have been taking on the eldest in their group. None of them were faring well. Hope felt like his bones were brittle enough to snap as the wind thrust a particularly mean jab his way. He could see the wear on their leaders, the soldier and the warrior. The involuntary shivers from the cold. The tensed up muscles and clenched fists and jaws. The commands that got terser by the hour.
The gravity of their situation hardly helped.
The heavy reality of death remained perched in their minds as they strode forward. Sure, they joked and gibed. Appeasing and nearly empty smiles glided across their faces. They were facing the world with optimism, determination, humor and denial. What was coming was both unknown and predicted.
Sazh slowed to a stop, inhaling a quick breath that became three. Hope leaned across the barrier of snow between them, patting Sazh's back as if his reassurance could compensate for the air that Sazh was lacking. The air on the mountains was thin. Inhaling it was like gulping in a dry cloud. Lightning noticed Sazh's struggle not long after Hope. Hope gave her a thumbs up, but her pursed lips showed that she remained unconvinced. She had been keeping a close eye on the two of them, Hope more specifically. Hope had grown fond of Lightning's fretting, her concern far better than the initial disinterest from their first days on their last journey. That didn't mean that it didn't occasionally stifle.
"Okay. Okay," Sazh breathed, his facial hair crusted gray. "Better get a move on."
Hope swallowed his offer to pull back and rest. It wasn't time that they could afford as the light dulled in the sky. "Yeah. Wouldn't want to hold Lightning up any more than we have. She might just pick you up and carry you the rest of the way."
Sazh laughed, a wheeze in his throat. "I might take her up on that."
"All good?" Lightning asked as she walked back towards them. Even Zalera had stopped now.
"Yup," Sazh replied with bouncing shoulders. "Forgot to pack my snow shoes, is all."
"And you?"
Lightning's gaze swung over to Hope, who blinked back owlishly. "Same as the last time you checked, Light."
With a curt nod, she turned back and their team picked up the pace.
"It's understandable," Sazh said, staring at Lightning's back.
It was. Hope made a move so selfish and irresponsible that it was no wonder that Lightning didn't trust him to look after himself. But he meant every word that he said in the cave. He was going to do better. For Academia, for their team, but mostly for her. Always her. Hope didn't know what he would do without Lightning. Now that he had her, he never wanted to let her go. He knew too well how it felt to have her out of his reach. That helpless, sinking feeling never abated. He wanted to be worthy of her, her love and her future. He would keep going, keep fighting, and keep smiling for her. He would be the best man that he could be for Lightning.
Even in the face of such declarations, even as Hope felt it stamped like truth into his chest, the encroaching waves of misery didn't recede. Thoughts of ending things still skulked around the edges of his thoughts. It was a different kind of battle, putting one foot in front of the other, gaze set forward not back, but Hope would keep fighting until this war was over and the threat was gone.
A snarky voice in the back of his head, one that sounded too much like the dead friend that he left behind, was determined to sew doubt into his mind. It questioned if that day would come. What if it never ended? What if it ended only in ruin? Were their steps meaningless, their decisions futile?
It took everything in Hope to not listen.
It was getting harder every day just to see a future for himself. The dreams and desires he'd had as a young, leading researcher were fading before his eyes. That future that he had envisioned for himself, for his city, was slipping from his grasp. Only faint traces of his tomorrow remained in his heart.
Instead, the lens of his third eye forecasted a future full of nothing. The world was a void triumphed by death and decay. A war had raged, leaving no one victorious. The two worlds, the floating nest of vipers and the hell below, had finally met as Cocoon was nothing but shattered shards scattered across Pulse's landscape. Crumbled heaps were all that remained of the cities, settlements and villages.
And of the people? Of the fal'Cie? No one remained. No corpses. No souls. Gone like faint whispers in the wind. All life had evaporated into a history never to be told. The fear, the hatred, the rage, all of the stifling emotions that led to this last devastating battle - meaningless. There was no new world, no savior to rescue the remnants of a dying planet, no Maker to give its children new life. There was no future.
Only nothing...
Hope recoiled at his own thoughts. Nearly purple fingers scratched at his covered arm. Hatred for his brand still stewed in his gut. The bright blue mark promised a prolonged, torturous death. His leash tethered him to a faceless monster and an undeniable fate.
There… really is no point… is there?
"Cease those useless words, little one. I will not fight beside one who harbors such ill thoughts."
A voice of reason halted his spiraling thoughts. Alexander's disappointed words caused Hope to shake himself of his depression.
Sorry, big guy.
Alexander. The one thing that he could thank his brand for. The Eidolon was his savior, his friend. His partner was always there, ready to fight at a moment's call. Hope could sense the being's uneasiness within him and realized just how much his own thoughts could affect Alexander. Hope's eyes clenched shut briefly, shame hunching his shoulders.
"Wars are fought not only on the battlefield, but inside our hearts as well. We must stay firm and strong. We must never let the enemy conquer us. Never grant them that much power."
Words that had been spoken with such sincerity and strength long ago reminded Hope of just how powerful his connection with Alexander was. Words that gave Hope something to cling to when the world felt too dark. Back when he first met the giant, those words did well to soothe him. Alexander was just as much a part of this team as the others.
A quaking roar broke the fragile air of silence surrounding the group. Responding roars followed, echoing off of the mountain side. The team froze in their haste, listening to the chorus rising from the distance. Sweat beaded at the back of Hope's neck, slithering down his collar. It sounded like they were surrounded, behemoth kings so close yet invisible in this bleary, snow-fogged environment.
"Shit," Zalera cursed, chakram in hand as she held it up in defense. "They're not supposed to be here."
The howling continued, and every hair on Hope's body rose as time stretched. Listening. Praying.
"T-that sounds like a lot…" Sazh stammered, hand shaking over his holster.
Lightning's head whipped in Zalera's direction. The panic in her expression was tempered, controlled, but readable enough. "That's a pack." Lightning stomped her way over to Zalera, pushing her body through the packed snow as she switched her blade into gun mode with a snap of her wrist. "You're leading us into behemoth territory?!"
Zalera's hands went to her hips, her gaze flicking between her boots. "It's the migration," she admitted with an apologetic wince. "It happens twice a year, but I thought they'd be on the other side of the mountain by now."
"Tch." Lightning turned her nose up at Zalera, her glare eating the very air alive. "By the sounds of it, there's at least seven, too."
"I counted eleven different calls." The condemnation evaporated from Lightning's face, replaced with a look of shock that flattened into dread. Hope found himself choking on his own saliva as Sazh stumbled at his side. "And that's how many that I could hear, the ones that made a responding cry. If there's eleven and more, then it's the Alpha pack. There are at least thirty in its family. There's no way we can take them all." Zalera cocked her jaw, shaking her head as her gaze stayed level with the ground. Her ears were still perked, twitching and searching for any more sounds.
The fear left them all flustered and anxious. Except Lightning, who looked ready to heave blame upon Zalera's shoulders as she rebuked the woman for her folly. Hope sped forward, his hand clutching at Lightning's wrist in plea. A fight was not what they needed. They needed a plan, someone to think rationally and logically in the face of such danger. Hotheaded denunciation and criticism could wait.
"What do we do then?" Hope asked, fingers rubbing beneath the fringes of Lightning's glove as his eyes rested on Zalera's back.
"Nothing, I'm afraid. We have to let them pass."
Lightning stiffened. Hope tried to hold on to her, anticipating her spike of anger, but she slipped free with little trouble. "Lightning, please-"
"What's wrong with you?"
Hope hung his head with a sigh, amused with himself for thinking that he could contain something as volcanic as Lightning's anger with a simple wrist-hold. Lightning was wound too tight as it was, putting their survival on her own shoulders. Their lives as her burden. Lightning was a good leader for that reason, unfailingly, unflinchingly putting their lives above her own, but her impatience and snappishness in the face of others' mistakes were ticks against her.
"You lead us into this mess and you don't even care?"
"She didn't say that, Light."
"Don't stick up for her, Hope. Not this time. Do you realize what waiting could cost us?"
"How long could it take to let them pass?" Sazh asked, voice tired.
Zalera's jaw cocked from one side to the other, her eyes burning with uncertainty even as she narrowed them into the snowy expanse ahead of them. "I can only guess, but judging on their current position, maybe four hours."
"It'll be night then, you realize?" Lightning said, voice thinly veiled in a cold calmness.
"Isn't there any other route?" Sazh asked, glancing around as he stumbled in a circle. "Why can't we go around the herd?"
Zalera's shoulders hunched up to her ears, fists tightening as her arms shook until she exploded. "We would have to backtrack to take another route! You think me a buffoon? You think I haven't been standing here thinking those exact same things?!"
Sazh snapped his mouth shut. He dropped his gaze, adjusting the straps of his pack on his shoulders.
Zalera's face scrunched up, booted foot kicking a dent in the snow. She breathed a slow breath out of her nostrils that puffed into the air. "I know no other way. Sure, I have a vague lay of the mountain, but I will not risk getting us lost. And 'go around?'" She huffed a spiteful breath. "They'll smell us if we get any closer, you know that. I'm surprised they haven't found our presence already."
As if their newfound predicament wasn't enough, a screeching sounded from overhead, awakening the group to their more immediate surroundings. Hope spun around, watching as a swarm of Cie'th flapped their wings in their group's direction. They were surrounded in seconds. Lightning pulled her gunblade first, swiping away a chonchon's wing attack. She ducked the second strike, the point of the chonchon's wing slicing into the gap between Sazh's arm and his side as he drew his pistol.
"Holy-!" Sazh exclaimed before Lightning swung low, driving her saber into the underbelly of the Cie'th. It groaned around the blade flossed between its teeth until it fell. Sazh recovered quickly, firing at the group of chonchons as they dipped and swerved through the air.
Another chonchon broke from the swarm, diving for Hope. Barring the winged Cie'th from tearing into his flesh, Hope's gunblade sat firmly between its blocky teeth. Hope pushed back against the monster. It was flung back, and Hope tamped down the snow beneath his feet, retaking his defensive stance. The chonchon swayed in the air before coming back at him. Hope waited, his gunblade held pointed like a spear. Just as the chonchon opened its dark chasm of a mouth, Hope stabbed his blade forward and through its throat. It let out a horrid, choked howl before crashing down into the snow, the fluff splashing around it.
Wiping the slush from his eyes, Hope inhaled sharply as another chonchon came at him. He barely had enough time to draw up his weapon before it struck with a slew of deadly wing strikes. It attacked mercilessly, its bladed wings clanging against Hope's gunblade. The sheer power behind each strike bore down on Hope, causing him to sink deeper into the snow as he was pushed steadily backward. He could feel the tension in his thighs, each hit reverberating through his body. His foot was sliding beneath him, his knee turning and twisting as his foot slipped against the snow. "Enough!" Hope cried. He shoved back with all of his strength, the chonchon spiraling in the air as Hope threw out a fira that raged towards its target. It blew straight into the middle of the chonchon, bursting the Cie'th apart.
Hope breathed, hand rubbing a cure into the strained ligaments of his knee. He heard Zalera grunt, turning to watch as a chonchon sliced into the side of Zalera's thigh. Zalera didn't let the monster get away unscathed. As it was pulling the sharpened bone of its wing out of her flesh, she stabbed her chakram into its back, directly between its wings. The chonchon flailed uselessly as Zalera ripped her weapon down its back before withdrawing. The chonchon spasmed in the air, wings flapping it this way and that as it screeched before it fell.
Blood dripped red spots into the snow from the gash in Zalera's leg. Hope slid to her side, had a cure at the ready, but Sazh's shout distracted them both.
"Can we get the hell off of this mountain now?!"
Hope leaned around Zalera, nearly knocked off his feet as he watched Sazh being carried through the air, the back of the pilot's jacket in a chonchon's mouth. Sazh was attempting to aim at the Cie'th's wings, but they were out of range in his position, the bullets whizzing on by. Zalera held a hand to her mouth, stifling a laugh as her other hand aimed her chakram. Her weapon swung in an arc, catching purchase in the monster's left wing. The chonchon dropped Sazh on impact, shaking its wing out to try and free it from the chakram. Sazh fell with a holler, face planting into the snow.
Hope tossed a cure towards Zalera's leg before fleeing toward Sazh's position. He stopped just short of the Sazh-shaped hole in the snow. "You alright down there?"
Sazh surfaced, his head poking out, expression miffed. He shook himself, snow flying in all directions, and stood. "Damn Cie'th. Damn mountain."
"You didn't break a hip or something in that fall, did you?" Zalera asked as she approached.
Sazh flipped her off.
"Trying a new method of flight?" Hope jibed. He tossed his boomerang towards the thrashing chonchon to finish it off. The boomerang struck the chonchon dead center, sending it to the ground a few feet from Zalera's left. Hope jumped up, catching his boomerang as it swung back around. Zalera stomped her foot down onto the chonchon's body to yank her chakram out.
"You know me," Sazh replied, "can't keep my head outta the clouds."
Four more chonchons fluttered their way. Hope sent out a thundaga that shot through each of them, the electricity sparking between them like a chain reaction until the spell fizzled out. Their charred bodies dropped from the sky, plopping into the snow.
"How many are there?" Zalera asked before she cried out as if having been hit. She gasped, her chakrams slipping from her hold as her body seized. She stood there, body taut and shaking. Her knees buckled, body falling face-first to the ground. Her muscles spasmed in a sudden fit. She cried out once more, curling in on herself and clutching at her stomach.
Sazh was similarly affected. He fell back into the snow, convulsing as his hands scrambled in panic.
Hope watched from his peripheries, but his hands were busy, one piercing his blade deep into a chonchon as the other burned firas into the swarm over Lightning. "Lightning! It's a pain spell!" Hope yelled out, running to their aid. "Cover me!"
"Got you!" Lightning took a stand in front of their group, her blade already dripping with the purple ooze of the many that she had defeated. Hope looked back, waving an enflame back at Lightning's weapon. A rich orange glow emanated from the blade before a snake of fire wrapped around it, igniting at its central ridge until the whole blade was enshrouded in flames.
There was a soggy sob of anguish that slipped past Zalera's lips as Hope took her head into his lap. The pain disability left Zalera and Sazh curled up on their sides, their bodies shivering and shaking in the snow. Hope made quick work of summoning an esunada to counter it. The healing magic emanated from Hope's palms, the esunada weaving together between his fingers. Hope pulled a strand of the healing agent from his palm with two fingers, soon gliding those fingers along Zalera's bones where the pain was manifesting.
As soon as Zalera's writhing eased, Hope bolted over toward Sazh to take care of his status ailment, too.
Lightning kept the groans and moans at her back, leaving her friends in Hope's more than capable hands as she tore her flame-infused sword through a chonchon's wing, the swing then arcing downward to hit another chonchon in the side. The second chonchon was sent flying into the side of the mountain with a squawk. The first chonchon fluttered its broken wing lamely, slowly sinking to the ground despite its rapid fluttering. Lightning decided to utilize the handicapped monster, leaping onto its back and jumping up into the air to slice her flaming gunblade in a circular swing that caught five more. Three dropped, but two remained. A chakram swooped in, slicing off one surviving chonchon's wing before two bullets sunk into its back, bringing it down.
Back on your feet, I see.
Lightning landed back on the ground just in time for the remaining chonchon to sweep her off of her feet with a blast of wind. The air swirled around her, catching her in its centrifuge and she spun through the air until she didn't know which way was up and which way was down. Her landing was harsh, her body falling back first onto one of the rockier areas of the mountain. A startled shout tore out of her at impact. The jagged rocks bruised and tore into her skin. Breathless coughs forced themselves from her throat as she attempted to breathe. Icy snow stuck to her face as she drew herself up, hands and elbows and knees scrabbling through frozen rocks. Her iced-over bangs fringed out in her vision as she blearily looked towards her comrades. They continued to fight on beside doubles that Lightning tried to blink away.
Pushing herself up to her knees, Lightning felt the ground trembling beneath her, rocks rumbling under her palms. The snow began disappearing into the dirt. A sudden crack split the ground between her legs and Lightning jumped.
The ground caved in.
Lightning's hands grabbed and groped at the rock that was left until it stopped giving way. She held her body up, glancing over her shoulder to see the hole that had opened up beneath her. It was a small hole circumference-wise, but its cold blackness promised a depth that she did not wish to know. It didn't look natural, its sides coated in aged claw marks. Perhaps she had broken open an old burrow?
Lightning turned back, ignoring the thudding of her heart and the stillness of her breaths. With a 3, 2, 1, she heaved herself up out of the hole, scrambling as far away from it as she could get. Her team fought on. Sazh and Zalera seemed to be holding together, fighting in tandem as they recovered from their ailments.
Hope stood alone. He swung his gunblade out, firing two shots just before the weapon switched modes. One bullet ripped through a chonchon. The other ricocheted off of the bone of its wing at just the right angle to tear through another. A chill rose from Hope's blade, an enfrost encasing his gunblade in a crystal-esque ice. Hope stabbed into one of his enemies, the chonchon freezing into an icy statue in the impressively aggressive spell's haste. Holding up a hand, Hope withdrew his blade, but the iced-over chonchon remained hanging in the air. A purple aura warped the air around it, and Lightning recognized the gravity spell that kept it afloat. Hope used the gravira to launch the chonchon into two others, skewering them onto the frozen chonchon's wing. He sent them all far off into the distance, as if tossing them like a dart, until they were out of sight.
Hope had never been the most impressive fighter. He learned to hold his own when they banded together as l'Cie, but he never would have survived a solo fight. Now, he was a force to be reckoned with. Lightning watched, amazed and impressed and downright flabbergasted. To witness such a steep difference in growth. He retained his inspiring conviction and the resilience of his early years, but his strength and tactical skills far surpassed anything that she could have expected. His experience showed. Years of practice and pain and perseverance paid off.
He really wasn't that little boy anymore.
As much as the thought blossomed pride and awe, it also clenched against something in her chest, pain pouring forth like she'd cracked a rib. It emphasized more time that she wasn't with him, by his side, protecting him. He became like this because he had to. Because he had no one. Like her. She told him that she would help him and make him stronger.
Instead, it was her absence that made him who he was.
A swirl of clouds appearing above more chonchons drew Lightning out of herself, and she watched as winds tore around the Cie'th, swirling them together in whirling tornadoes. Hope drew up a hand, the space in front of his palm seeming to distort as white-hot, fiery balls slowly melted their way through the distortion. The balls shot forth one at a time like comets blasting through the air. Each one struck a chonchon, stripping them from their personal tornadoes until their bodies flattened against the mountain.
Such… incredible, terrifying power.
Lightning could have watched for hours, marveling at his growth. His new power, strength and grace captivated her. It sunk in then that she was no longer his mentor.
He no longer needed one.
Giving him backup, Lightning came up beside Hope, helping him take on some of the last straggling members of the chonchon swarm. She settled herself at his back, his warmth a familiar, trusted feeling. He glanced back at her, smiling. She nodded his way, her own smirk stretching across her face. They battled in sync, fighting in a harmony previously unknown to her. She'd never fought so well beside another soldier in her life. It brought her back to their l'Cie days when they gathered themselves into an arranged technique, balancing themselves and their powers to the current fight. It was amazing how easy it was to fight together with him, even when she had no god-like powers to speak of.
Fighting alongside others usually slowed her down. It was difficult adjusting to another person's fighting techniques, learning their strengths and weaknesses, their habits and idiosyncrasies. It was another brain and body that she couldn't control, only work around. It was distracting, debilitating, and she usually ended up pushing her teammate out of the way to take on the task herself.
With Hope, he worked like an extension of her, their minds and bodies and souls linking on a level both outside of and within herself.
When the fighting was over and the Cie'th had been slain, they all took a collective breath. Hope turned to Lightning, sheathing his gunblade as he frowned bitterly at the bodies of the winged creatures. "Thanks for jumping in. I was getting a little overpowered by the mass of them."
Lightning shrugged a shoulder. "Not like you needed the help."
Hope grinned, rubbing his arm, before his face twisted. He doubled over, hand clutching at his chest as he exhaled a stuttered breath. Lightning dropped her blade, running for him as she pressed a hand to his back and ducked down to look into his face. It was scrunched up in pain, and Lightning was reminded of all of those times when memories of the ark would assail him, or Castea and her invasive powers.
Hope breathed. Cool, calm breaths. And it seemed as if something had passed. He let his arm hang free from where it had been pressed to his chest. "This brand..." He steadily stood and slid up his sleeve, exposing the mark. Lightning stabbed her gaze into its sublime beauty, cursing it in every space of her mind. "I can conjure up stronger magic, but it eats away at me a little more."
Lightning didn't like the sound of that at all. His brand was supposed to make him stronger, not weaker. "Then you should be careful." She wanted to tell him to stop, that he should quit using the brand if it was going to cause such effects, but she couldn't. They needed his powers if they were going to complete the mission.
If they were going to survive, they were going to have to use Hope.
Use. Like a pawn. Like a tool.
Someone to be exploited until he was used up. Thrown away. Gone.
They had no choice. Lightning knew that. It didn't stop her from wishing for his freedom from his fate. From this brand.
It didn't stop her from wondering.
If the brand gained more power, would it continue to eat away at him until there was nothing left?
Were they slowly killing Hope?
Hope gave her troubled expression a tired, gentle smile and slipped his hand in hers, bringing the back of it to his lips. He then glanced back toward the mountain, his look wistful. "Another battle down."
"Well, if that wasn't a party and a half," Zalera said, chuckling as she shook out her limbs, bouncing on her toes. Her hair was too frozen to move, iced in places with porcupine spikes.
Hope laughed lightly, loosening his hand from Lightning as Zalera joined their side. Lightning looked down at her hand, then back at Hope's. She knew how much the gesture soothed Hope's nerves, and her own, she more recently realized. If Hope was sparing her the embarrassment, Lightning found that she no longer cared.
"Where's Sazh?" Hope asked.
All eyes darted around, expecting to find their worn out elder walking their way, but he was nowhere to be seen. Lightning muttered an expletive as she kept her eyes peeled for the man. Her temper couldn't handle a disappearing act along with all of the rest of the shit she'd put up with that day.
"He didn't get dragged off by one of those irritating bats again, did he?" Zalera's question had a lilt of amusement in it, but it was also etched with worry.
"Sazh!" Hope called, his hands circling around his mouth to amplify the sound. Nothing returned the call except the roaring winds. His head whipped around, body turning in dizzying circles. "We gotta find him."
The group split up, covering the ground of their battle. They searched the snow, around and beneath the bodies of the dead Cie'th, anywhere in the vicinity. There was nothing, no bushy afro, or the swaying fabric of his jacket, or the sound of his low, crackly laugh.
Lightning's heart jumped into her throat as she caught sight of snow-covered metal. Sazh's gun laid forgotten in the snow. It was nowhere near its owner, though it was suspiciously close to a hole that could have been a cloned copy of the one that she had almost fallen prey to before.
No...
Lightning stared down into the hollow, narrowing her eyes into its blackness. She couldn't see an end to it.
If this is where Sazh fell…
Lightning didn't want to imagine it, but she could feel it. She just knew that Sazh was down there, somewhere. She called out to the others, her hand up, turned inward to lead them in cautiously. They didn't need any others ending up down there.
"Did you-" Hope's question died out as he caught sight of the pistol and the opening in the earth in front of her. "No, you can't mean..." Hope's jaw tightened before he cried, "Sazh!"
Zalera looked pale, almost sick as she knelt down by the edge, staring in. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.
Hope shouted and cried into the hole, tears welling as he gripped the edge hard enough to crumble.
It was difficult to not get caught up in the frantic fear, tempting to let herself succumb to despair. Lightning swept the emotions away. "What is this?" she asked Zalera.
The tip of Zalera's boot toed down a rock, her ears waiting on a sound that didn't come. Whether it was due to the depths or the severity of the whistling winds, they couldn't know. "I think it's a borehole… created by some of the creatures of the mountain."
"How deep are they usually?"
"I don't know. They tunnel all throughout these mountains."
"Are they hostile?"
"Hostile enough. They're a monster like any other. The only difference is that they keep to themselves in their dens, only attacking those that venture into their territory."
Lightning drew a glow stick from her pack, cracking it in her palm. Without a word, she dropped it into the hole. The green light fell into the dark depths until they could no longer see it. Her heart sank as she lost sight of it.
"I'm getting him." Hope scrambled, pulling himself closer to the edge, his legs dangling over the drop.
Lightning took hold of his collar before he could do anything stupid. She pulled him away, utilizing her strength to throw him back. "I'm not letting you die, too."
Something flashed in Hope's eyes, and Lightning cursed her choice of words.
"Shit. No. I didn't mean that."
"We can't give up on him," Hope said, gaze heaving guilt onto Lightning's shoulders. "He's our glue. He keeps our emotions in check and our spirits up. He's been there for me through everything! I'm not accepting this. I'm not- He's not dead."
"We're not completely sure he's in there." Zalera spoke grimly, her body rigid as she stood back up to her full height. "I doubt he would have survived the fall if he is."
The implications of that statement did nothing to sway Hope's resolve. Lightning could see it, the blaze of his conviction ignited in the emerald light of his eyes. He took a resolute step toward the burrow, but Lightning pushed past him, shouldering him aside. She observed the hole, shifting her thoughts as she imagined it as a passage. The hole was old, walls packed tight with layers of ice sealing it in. She swung her blade and banged it against the interior walls. Nothing gave or caved or crumbled. There was a reasonable expectation of it retaining its shape. If the creatures could count on its stability, then a human may have been able to as well.
"Keep him up here, Zalera." Lightning sifted through the contents of her pouch before tossing a gravity bomb into Zalera's hands. "Give me an hour. If I'm not out by then, use that to get down. Hope knows how to use it."
"You're going down there?" Zalera asked, incredulous as if she expected Lightning to be on the same page as she was. She probably should have been. There was no guarantee that Sazh was down there or that he was even alive. But Hope was right. He was their glue. A father to this unruly group of orphans. If there was a chance, then she was going to take it.
Hope shook his head, snatching the bomb from Zalera's hands as he stalked closer. "No way. You can't do this, Lightning. You can't stop me from going and plunge in there yourself. When are you going to stop treating me like a child?"
Lightning rolled her eyes and fixed the man with a callous stare. She was fed up with this conversation. "Don't be ridiculous, Hope. I'm going to scout for Sazh first. I only have one single serve Grav-Con. Last I checked, I have much more experience with gravity tech than you do. Besides, if we all go in at once, it'll be easier for whatever's down there to sense us."
Lightning snapped her fingers, the AMP's electrical waves zipping down her spine. Her feet lifted from the ground and she breathed through the usual tremors of unease in her stomach. "I'd much rather you all carry on if I don't make it out within the next sixty minutes, but I'm not delusional. I know you'll come for me."
His eyes replied with an, every time. He would. They both would. Hope would throw himself down a hole to rescue her. The bomb was the only thing that she had to give him to make sure that it wasn't a suicide mission from the jump.
"That gravity bomb will stop your fall."
Not sparing another second, Lightning leapt down into the borehole, the electric barrier encompassing her body. Its purple tendrils wisped off of the walls, holding her center. She kept her eyes focused before her, watching the hollow's walls whip past her. It was a long drop before there was a turn. Swiftly raising her hand, Lightning slowed her Grav-Con's propulsion so she could direct herself into the turn easier. She slid out of the hole following the change of course, the unit catching her fall as she came upon an open passageway within the mountain.
Snapping her fingers again, Lightning shut down the AMP, conserving its energy. Her glow stick sat at the base of the hole, the only light within the otherwise pitch black area. Lightning slipped her hand into her pouch, deftly procuring her flashlight before switching it on. Looking back into the hole, she could see the sudden turn that the burrow took. If someone were to fall down it, then they most certainly would have died there.
So, since Sazh's body isn't here, he's either not down here, didn't die when he fell, or... She could feel the grimace pinching her face. Something carried him off.
Lightning left the glow stick where it was, knowing that she would need to find the exit after she was done traipsing around in the monsters' den. Caution in her every movement, Lightning swept the flashlight along her surroundings. The hollow passageway was considerably bigger than the hole that she had come through. By the size of it, she could surmise that it was made for something much more massive than whatever creature had made the burrow, or for a heavy traffic of monsters to scurry through. Or both.
That doesn't really improve my optimistic outlook on this side mission.
The dirt walls were frozen, but slightly damp with a buildup of condensation. The internal temperature of the mountain was frigid, though it was still more favorable than up above. Lightning took in a small breath, immediately regretting it afterwards. Restraining a gag, Lightning steeled herself, denying herself the instinct of stifling her sense of smell. She needed every sense she had when in enemy territory. Hovering over the heady scent of must and dirt was a strong odor that was recognizable even as a stranger in a strange land.
The entire place reeked of death and fresh blood. It wasn't uncharacteristic for a monster's den, but the stench was strong enough to nearly knock her from her feet. As much as Lightning wanted to utilize her every sense, the power of it was simply too distracting, leading her to breathe through her mouth instead. Swallowing back the bile forming in her throat, Lightning pressed on.
Just... Maker, tell me that isn't Sazh.
Focusing herself back on task, she trudged on. She had a limited time to find Sazh. Not only could he still be alive, he could be in incredible danger. Thoughts of an idle Zalera and Hope sat at the back of her mind, too. The longer she left them alone, the more likely it was that her companions would enter after her. She had to be quick to make it back out before her time was up. If she didn't locate Sazh by then, then she would leave him.
A ways down, Lightning came upon an opening to the side. A room to the monsters, she supposed, that was more like the cave that their group had taken refuge in. With her hand ready on her blade, Lightning slowly guided her flashlight in. The cave was empty of anything living. To her displeasure, it was full of bones and decaying flesh and plucked feathers and the lasting remnants of carcasses. Her eyes scanned over all of the remains, careful to look for any detail that could pertain to her search. A quick assessment told her that all of the remains in sight were of monsters. Ready to carry on, she was stopped by the minute sound of claws scraping in the dirt. The sound steadily got louder, nearer.
One of the mountain's critters was coming towards her.
Lightning shut off her flashlight with an imperceptible click and ducked into the gore-filled room. She crouched down behind a wall and waited for the creature to pass, not allowing herself to think of the squishing bodies under her boots or the broken bones biting into her skin. Closing her eyes, Lightning listened to the incoming creature, building a profile of it in her mind. One stride held three perceptible steps, claws scratching against the dirt as it swept forward. Something much like a tail seemed to sway along in the dirt behind it. It emitted a hissing sound as it moved, the noise bouncing around the cavern's walls.
Though she kept her muscles locked and her body still, her precarious position hunched against the wall led her boot to slide in the gore that she was hiding in. A squelch sounded in return, making her presence clear and unmistakable. The monster stopped, its hissing hitching for a brief second. Lightning held her breath as the monster waited. Its hissing continued as it edged closer to the opening of the room.
Sniffing. That was the next thing that Lightning could hear. It was right beside her ear. She could feel its rapid breaths, cringed at its warm exhalations. The creature began sniffing inside the cave, attempting to ferret out what made the noise. Lightning remained against the wall, out of sight. As far as she could tell the monster had yet to enter, only its nose poking in. Each sniff was sharp in her ear, cutting deeply into the calm that she was attempting to hold onto. Lightning kept her hand wrapped around the hilt of her gunblade, hoping to eliminate it quickly with her blade. A bullet would be too loud, attracting even more unwanted attention. Its hissing began again, this time heightened and feral. Lightning readied herself to strike.
Then it quieted. The monster turned away, slowly slinking off down the underground corridors. Lightning didn't allow herself an inch of movement nor a single breath until the critter was out of earshot.
When the silence reigned once again, she heaved in a succession of quick breaths, drinking relief in with the air. Lightning made her way back out into the underground chamber. Deciding that risking exposure and a tussle with one of those things wasn't worth it, she carried on in the opposite direction of its departing hisses.
The two left behind remained on edge, sandwiched by the danger of the behemoths at their backs and whatever could come scurrying out of the hole. Zalera stared out into the winter wasteland, all senses honed on the area surrounding them. She declared mere minutes after Lightning had gone down that she wouldn't allow them to be snuck up on again. Hope wondered how much Zalera blamed herself. Her shame at losing a member despite being a leader, at missing the signs of the enemy despite being a hunter, was clear in the tense line of her shoulders.
Hope stared down deep, deeper, praying for a sign of pink.
"Have faith in your girl."
"I do," Hope replied with a barbed tone. It wasn't a lack of faith that left Hope hanging there, dangling on a wire so thin that it may snap. He waited anxiously, the fingers of his right hand wound achingly tight around the hilt of his blade. His other hand gripped the rim around the entrance. He took a gargoyle's position, perched above with eyes attentive, waiting to lend a hand for their friends, or strike an enemy down should one emerge.
It wasn't a lack of faith that Hope felt. It was anger. He sat there berating himself for not netting his perceptions around his teammates. For not protecting them.
I'm supposed to watch out for my family. If I'm supposed to be so fucking powerful, how come I can't protect the ones I care for?
Biting his lip in vexation, Hope could only pray to the very beings that had bestowed him and his comrades with such a fate. Hope resigned himself to the wait, back to playing that same game that he had woken to. He felt like he was always waiting. For his friends to thaw. To get stronger.
For the world to end.
Hope wanted to be down there. He needed to be down there. It should have been his burden to find and save Sazh. It was no more Lightning's responsibility than his. Yet he'd been stopped, again, and another took his place. Because he wasn't strong enough. Because he wasn't skilled enough.
Because he was always too important.
With the sheer number of times that Hope had heard that, accompanied by some spiel that he should take care of himself more, Hope could have deluded himself into thinking that he bled gold. That the very air on his breath created life. Important. Hope hated the word almost as much as he hated his own name. How was his life any more important than the lives of his soldiers or his people? Why was he the only invaluable soul that couldn't be spared? He wanted to lead his people not only from behind a cozy desk, but also on the front lines. Yet no one would let him.
And here he was, letting another take on the responsibility, applying risk to their chest like a badge of honor. This time it was none other than Lightning, the woman that he loved, holding his burdens. All he wanted for Lightning was a calm, peaceful life. The life that she deserved after all of the fighting and blood and loss. She'd selflessly sacrificed herself enough. She'd given up enough for her sister. He wasn't going to have her give up anything more for him.
I trust you, Light. I know you can protect yourself. I know that better than anyone.
She had been the one on the front lines with Snow and Fang, taking most of the hits and defending Hope, Sazh and Vanille. Lightning never walked away from a battle, standing her ground with pride.
You're the strongest person I know, but is it so wrong for me to want to protect you as you protect me? To want to fight with you? You don't have to fight alone. Not anymore.
"Please, come back to me in one piece, Light." Hope let the minutes tick by, restraining himself from throwing caution to the wind and sliding down there himself. "I trust you..."
The quiet pimpled her flesh almost as much as the cold. It was eerie, creeping around corridors, stumbling over a wayward bone, her own footsteps hushed yet amplified by the silence, her vision inhibited by the darkness. She used her flashlight sparingly since her encounter with the mountain monster, leaving her feeling naked in the dark. An indescribable aura hung over her head. Almost haunting, in a way. As if the ghosts of the eaten monsters clung to the walls, eternally damned to the dens of the very creatures that had so gruesomely ended their lives.
Was that to be Sazh's fate?
For the wide berth of the tunnel, and the complex maze of entrances branching off of it, the monsters remained scarce. It kept Lightning on her toes, wondering if they were just another tunnel away. She kept thinking that they were following her. Behind her. Above her. Eclipsed in the darkness and waiting to trap her. The further she journeyed, the higher her paranoia rose. Lightning didn't let it offset her, calming her heart of its stampeding beats as she turned a corner.
Pressing down on the flashlights button just enough to turn it on, but not enough to click, she slid the light into another room. The second her light hit the fur of another creature, Lightning jolted back out of sight, thumbing the light off as she held the flashlight to her chest. She stayed there, listening. Nothing followed. When she was sure that she had yet to be detected, Lightning leaned back around the tunnel wall, flashing the light back over the creature. It was laying on its back, paws in the air. Its eyes were closed, jaw agape, a growlish snore erupting from its throat.
Asleep, Lightning sighed. Maybe she was lucky and had ventured in during their sleep cycle. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Lightning visually studied the monster. It was no bigger than the pup of a lobo. Gray fur coated its belly, sides, legs and tail. Its back was covered by a dull black carapace. Six stout legs ended in six-fingered paws, claws sharp enough to shine in the light. Its long, furry tail swished lightly against the ground in its sleep. A particularly loud grumble caused Lightning to look at its mouth where jagged teeth clacked together. Its nose stuck out in a point on its snout. Lightning could still hear the sniffing of the previous one that she encountered, thanking Etro for whatever kept it from smelling her presence.
Another noise alerted Lightning to the other side of the room. Her light swept towards the sound's owner, illuminating more and more slumbering monsters. Nearly twenty monsters lay around the room and Lightning swallowed back a growing sense of alarm. Any sudden movement could wake the pack. She became all too aware of herself, the sound of her heart beating growing wilder the more that she wished to hush it.
In the center of the room were chonchon carcasses. They laid in a puddle of blood, bones broken apart. The more that Lightning looked, the more blood that she could see coated in the fur of the mountain creatures, streaked across their paws and noses. From the smear patterns on the floor, Lightning could tell that the creatures had rolled in the blood after devouring their meal.
"Hey!" came a whisper screech, and Lightning instantly flicked off her light in case it alerted those asleep. "Someone there? Help me, please!"
Lightning's breath caught in her throat, and she dared to let her light creep towards the voice to confirm her suspicions. "Sazh?!"
"Lightning?"
Sazh woke to the sounds of high-pitched shrieks. Growls. Barks. Bones snapping. He couldn't see in the pitch black darkness, but he could hear something being eaten, and some things doing the eating. He clenched his eyes closed, but it did little to hinder his wide open ears. He didn't move a muscle, unsure of his location, unable to get his bearings in the dark. The sounds were frenzied, some of excitement, some of anguish. Sazh found himself curling up small in the corner that he was in, backing up in jerky scoots until he hit wall.
He thought about running for it, taking advantage of the commotion of what amounted to feeding time at the zoo. When he tried to bear weight on his leg, he felt something give and he crumbled back down, biting into the sleeve of his jacket to muffle his cries. He couldn't see his wounds, but he could feel them, hot and throbbing and raw. When he lowered his hand down and felt around the wound, his hand came back wet and slick.
Sazh found himself counting the seconds, waiting until whatever was there with him turned on him next. He didn't know if it was from the blood loss or his heightened state of fear, but his eyelids became heavy, his head lowering to the ground, until he was out.
His consciousness faded in and out until a light passed over him. It swung back and forth like the beacon of a lighthouse, solace in a storm. Sazh thought it was funny. He finally bought the farm and now he was seeing that dreaded light at the end of the tunnel that all of the movies talked up. Was he supposed to move toward it? Reach for it?
Was this what Wilda saw in her last moments?
If he had called out to her, stopped her, would she still be with him?
Sazh clawed his way out of the haze, utilizing the light like a rope that his consciousness could grip onto. Reality ground him into the floor, the pain a continuous stabbing that pinned his leg down. He tried to say something, begging. He would plead with god herself if he had to.
Light flooded his vision. He held up a hand, trying to see around it.
"Sazh?!"
"Lightning?"
Oh thank god. Thank Etro. Thank stubborn little soldier girls everywhere. Sazh could barely make out her outline behind the light, but then she was moving, edging around the room, cautious of something, until she made it to him.
"Are you hurt?" Lightning asked, but she was already inspecting his leg before he had a chance to speak. He shifted to give her a better view, but the pain roared in backlash. The sight of his shredded flesh threatened his consciousness once more. Lightning's flashlight hovered over the damage, five - no six - bands of claw marks in his thigh and knee and a messy bite mark at his ankle. Something grabbed ahold of him good.
"It's alright. Just help me up. I'll get outta here if it takes-"
"Quiet."
Lightning turned, illuminating what Sazh had missed. Bodies of monsters laid on the floor, and by Lightning's state of distress, he could tell that they weren't dead.
"It's my last one," Lightning whispered, shoving a bottle into his hands. Sazh downed it. The potion took the edge off, but he was nowhere near capable of climbing around a bunch of hounds. He winced as Lightning hefted him up, his arm held over her shoulder, her arm around his waist.
"Too late to shed a few pounds," Sazh whispered with a grin.
He could feel Lightning's sigh through her hold, along with a tell-tale shake of her shoulders. "Let's do this. Nice and easy. You take the light."
Sazh did as instructed, illuminating the ground as Lightning took a step around a coiled tail. Sazh tried his best to keep the light steady, but a tremble rattled his frame. Lightning grunted as she pulled Sazh forward. His bum leg dragged. Sazh swung the flashlight back over the monsters. The quick once-over swan-dived his heart into his gut. There were too many to maneuver around. There was hardly a path for an able-bodied person, let alone one bogged down as they dragged another.
Sazh tried unsuccessfully to put his weight onto his leg again. This wasn't working and they were out of options. He didn't want to die, but he couldn't take Lightning with him. If she stayed and kept trying to rescue him, they would both get caught and they would both die. He couldn't let Lightning die for him. She had a life ahead of her. A life to live with Hope.
But… my son…
Hope would take care of Dajh. They'd already talked about it once before, on one of Sazh's harder nights.
"I'm not leaving you," Lightning breathed, heaving his body up even more onto hers.
Before Sazh could respond, one chonchon let out some last defiant shrieks, its body writhing as its wings scraped dreadfully against the dirt.
And like that, the room began to stir.
The once content and slumbering monsters began to rise, their teeth bearing in the wake of the noise.
Lightning leant Sazh onto the wall and whipped out her gunblade, her body moving protectively in front of him. "You got anything other than your gun, Sazh?"
Sazh warily reached for his lone pistol, holding it in his unoccupied hand. He shook his head, knowing what she was getting at. She didn't want to draw in even more creatures with the sounds of gunfire. "You can still leave. I'll hold them off," he offered.
"Not a chance."
One beast lunged at her, its teeth primed to claim her. Lightning slashed at it with her blade only for her weapon to clang against the creature's shell as it ducked. It curled up into a ball, its body encased in a carapace as it rolled towards her. Dodging its approach, Lightning fended off another attack by another set of teeth.
Paws pounding the dirt alerted Sazh to the approach from another. Sazh aimed for its beady red eye and fired. The critter fell dead and Sazh never thought a gunshot could sound so loud. "I guess we'll be livening up the joint then."
The wait strangled Hope. Every time that he would decide that it was time to jump in, some invisible thread would tug around his neck, keeping him there. It reminded Hope of Lightning's strength, her tenacity, her bravery. Their connection secured him to his spot until the time ticked by. Hope held himself back for what felt like days, but as the last minutes counted down Hope wished that the time wouldn't come. As much as he wanted to dive in after Lightning, he dreaded what he might find.
"Time's up," Hope said, lips stiff around the words as he took the gravity bomb back in hand.
"At least this saves us the trouble of finding an alternate route," Zalera replied. With his focus on the entrance into the mountain, Hope didn't fully process her statement. He blinked back at her, turning the dial slowly on the bomb to unlock the pin. "The pack is closing in. Even if Sazh hadn't gone missing, we wouldn't have survived up here. I think our only option is down."
"We would still be together." Hope's stare turned cold. He directed it toward the device, because Zalera was right despite how it sounded. "We'd be able to make the decision together, had this not happened."
"Just trying to look at this from a different angle. Misfortune or luck, I'm trying to direct my perspective in a positive direction." Zalera snorted with a derisive smile. "For once."
Sazh rub off on you already?
"What if we don't find him?" Hope asked the device in his hands. "What if we don't find either of them? What if they're...?" The word buoyed up into his throat, hovering just beneath his Adam's apple, choking him and watering his eyes. Zalera stood beside him, her presence enough to ease the building tension in his body. "No, we have to find them."
Zalera placed her hand over the bomb, and it was like a layering of hands, one final cheer from a team as they rallied together. "Lightning doesn't die. She has her own brand of immortality. As for Sazh...We won't lose him." Her smile was bright, though Hope could see right through it. "We can't lose our pops, can we?"
"Have to save this hodgepodge of a family of ours." Hope shook his head, snow crystals sparkling in his bangs. "What messes we get ourselves into."
"Just call us the disaster family, then."
After inputting an estimated mass for the gravity to net, Hope activated the tech and dropped it down the hole. He mentally counted out the seconds, assuring that the bomb would have enough time to hit the ground before he would. "Wait two minutes, just to make sure that we don't land on top of each other."
"Alright, let's go rescue their sorry asses."
Unable to contain himself any longer, Hope jumped, leaving the howling winds and icy flakes behind him.
He had a family to pull back together.