Sixth Sense

by EnergyMageFrea

... We used to be friends, or at least... we used to know each other. There was a lot of people I used to know, a lot of people who used to know me. That was a long time ago, and I don't even know who I am anymore. I've been dead a long time. I'm not sure if I even know how to live anymore... {Spoilers for the Manga and Anime, AizawaXOC}

31. Chapter 31- Try

Chapter 31
Try

Disclaimer: I do NOT own My Hero Academia, or its characters. I DO however, own my OCs and my story.

.:+:.

... I... Don't know how...

.:+:.

"... but enough about me- what are your plans for today, Izaru?"

"Ah... Hizashi said he was planning to take me around to meet the rest of the Classes... Grades... students and Staff I think..."

"Sounds like a lot of meet and greet."

"... Yeah..."

"You don't sound very excited..."

"... It's not that I... Its not that I don't want to meet everyone... I have to get around to it eventually... And probably better sooner, rather than later... I'm just... Names are hard... Talking to people isn't... Easy... Either..."

"... I get it... Truth be told, I got really nervous about starting out as a Teacher here, you know. And to be honest I'm still a little out of my depth at times... But you'll do great. You've been doing good with Aizawa's class, right...? And Vlad's seemed to take to you really well too..."

"... Right..."

.:+:.

"Aaaaaallllrriiiiiiggggghhhhtttt~! Listen up kiddos, I got someone to introduce to all you Listeners today, are ya ready~?!"

... In hindsight... Hizashi may have been a poor choice to make the introductions to the rest of the school with...

Izaru sighed silently, sweatdropping as she shot the (very vocal) blonde a sideways glance, her hands hooked behind her back and standing a few paces off to the side from him. They were both at the head of the class, Hizashi pulling a fair amount of the attention on to himself instead of her- which was... Better, considering what amount of twisting her stomach did when the eyes of the Class (and its twenty or so unfamiliar, intrigued students...) landed on her.

... He's talking like we're on a show...

... It... is like him, to be this way... But all his exaggeration is a bit... Unnecessary...

Her grey eyes shift slowly back toward the students to see several of them sighing at the blonde's loudness, and others looking amused- with a few here and there who paid the Voice Hero and his noise no mind still, and were looking at her curiously.

In her quick scan of the class her eyes met the tired ones belonging to Shinso, who she had noticed sitting among the rest almost instantly (of course, since out of all of them, he was the only one she had already met and 'knew'). The young boy smiled faintly as their eyes met, a cool, dry little smile crossing his face as he nodded just once at her, and then his eyes darted briefly in Hizashi's direction, giving her something of a half exasperated, half apologetic smirk. Izaru blinked, sweatdropping a little more at the look before shaking her head just a little, and hardly enough to be noticed.

... It's not as if I'm not used to it from him... He was always like this... Even back in school...

Hizashi's hands and his fingerguns moved suddenly, pointing directly at her now, and gesturing enthusiastically, smirking still and completely in character still- you know, the Announcer sort of persona... Though the action and movement of it from the corner of her eye made her heart speed up, and she bit the inside of her cheek for it.

... Why does that make me...?

"Oh yeah~! UA's got itself a new member of the Staff, ya dig~?! This here is Aneko Izaru, and she's sticking close to help keep an eye on our school and all you kiddos~! She's gonna lend a hand wherever we need- Plus Ultra style~!" Hizashi announced with the utmost ease, smirking still as his fingerguns shifted to point at the class instead. "She's super smart, and she has a handle on the bulk of all your Classes and assignments- she was a Straight-A student back in her years at UA~! Now she's not a designated Hero like the rest of the Staff, but don't worry about that~! She's just as capable as the rest of us Pros when push comes to shove~! I hope you'll give her a warm welcome, oh yeaaaah~!"

Izaru bit the inside of her cheek a little more, her grey eyes flashing as she raised a hand (awkwardly, almost...), and waved to the class with a small nod.

"Ah... It's nice to meet you all... I'm looking forward to helping out wherever I can..." She mumbled softly. The class shifted a bit, most of them offering up some small, polite little smiles and a few nodding- while others waved back.

"It's nice to meet you, Ms. Izaru."

"Welcome to UA."

Everyone was polite, and warm... And so, so many of them were curious. As to be expected of course, UA was the premiere school, the Staff were expected to be top of the line, and she was new, and already more an anomaly given she wasn't a Pro Hero like the rest of the teachers. But they seemed sensible enough not to hound her with too many questions all at once (not that Hizashi let them... Every time a student got going on asking, he stepped in and switched the subject). The students mostly gave her a welcome and quickly introduced themselves, while Izaru did her best to try and keep the names and the faces straight, and carve out some place in her fractured mind to store that information where it wouldn't end up lost or faded... She did her best, but apologized regardless.

"... Sorry... Your names are gonna take a long while... I'm not... Ah... Good with them..."

Besides, there was so many of them... Too many, maybe. And it didn't help with what tenseness was in her core, or lessen the knot in her stomach... Uncomfortable.

Why...?

She just... She was so uneasy.

It got worse, and hit a peak when she talked to them (any of them), when they formed groups, closed the distance between them, asked direct questions... All of it.

"... I'll help with your classes... if you need me... Or projects... Just... Ah... Ask, and I'll do... My best..."

Because what else really was there for her to do? Or she even was supposed to do? Or...

She and Hizashi moved between the different classes in different departments, climbing through those and the different grades throughout the day. Hizashi more or less just recanted that same (overzealous) introduction to all the classes, and no matter how many times he went through it- she never got used to it. She never even got slightly used to just meeting anyone, talking to all those kids, or being near any of them. The longer the day went on, and with each successive person she met, the more uneasy she was getting- which made it all the harder for her to not seem too disconcerted with all of it outwardly.

There was a part of her that wanted to quit, to give up on the meeting everyone, to just stop... But another part said no, a more rational part maybe, and she understood the rationality better than anything else. So she did her best all the way through to the end, and to the last class full of seniors and containing what was called UA's 'Big Three'. The topmost students, best of the best, those already on par with Pros and probably passed that, the real up and comers, those already geared and set for the Hero track- or at least, that was all (well, not all, but the short version..) of what Hizashi said on the matter.

And UA's Big Three were just as interested in the new staff member as everyone else, unsurprisingly perhaps... well, only two of them seemed all that interested, actually. The blonde (Togata...?) and the girl (Hado(?)) were friendly and quick to introduce themselves, but the last member of the trio had laid eyes on Izaru for only a few seconds- before promptly scooting away to the opposite end of the room and sticking his head in the corner.

Needless to say, the dark-haired boy's reaction to seeing her was... off-putting, and Izaru instantly wondered what she did..?

... was it something... I said... or...?

"Ah, don't worry, it wasn't anything you did." The blonde student (yes, Mirio Togata... Right...? So many names...) told her brightly with a cheery, and sort of amused smile on his face. Izaru's grey eyes moved away from the young man in the corner and toward him quickly, and Togata just kept smiling as he caught the woman's attention.

"Tamaki's just a shy guy, he has a hard time with new people... Though he ran away a bit faster than normal, haha~" He told her, and Izaru nodded slowly.

She supposed she was the sort of the same way... It was taking a lot of willpower to stay... Calm.

"... Ah... Alright..."

Izaru was very much ready to head back to the Staff Dorms and the silence of her room by the time she and Hizashi had gone to every class. More than ready, maybe- her entire body had grown stiff and refused to relax, and she was exhausted... Really exhausted.

... Why... Was all of that so hard...?

... I used to be able to just talk to strangers... like it was nothing... right...?

... But today...

She swallowed a bit, her grey eyes flashing as she bit the inside of her cheek, her attention stuck on the pavement underfoot and quiet.

... The whole time... It felt like my heart was gonna give out...

"Ya did really good today, Izaruuuu~" Hizashi hummed at her shoulder, the two of them walking across campus now and headed back to the Staff Dorms. Izaru cast him a glance from the corner of her eye, warily so. He noticed the look and the uncertainty breaking through the otherwise mostly emotionless expression, and he smiled a bit still, though it wasn't as bright as normal, and was instead a bit uncertain himself. "... You alright...? You've seemed real uneasy talking with all the kids..." He pointed slowly, and Izaru swallowed again at the assertion.

He had probably asked her if she was 'alright' over a thousand times through the day... A little less than that, but several times still. He'd even asked several times if she wanted to give meeting the students a break and start again a different day- and why not?

It made sense for him ask all of that, and as many times as he had- he was worried, and he worried a lot, he always had. He felt it deeply when the people he knew were in a bad way, or something wasn't right. Hizashi himself didn't feel like he could tell all that well, but he did notice it when other people were uncomfortable, at least some of the time... and he worried about it, a lot.

Izaru had been in a bad way for a long while, and forced through so much on top of it- too much, really, and far more than she deserved. He could tell how uneasy she was just around him and the other Staff- several of whom she had known once upon a time- so her being around all of the students? And so many of them, and all of them who she didn't know at all?

The day and all the meet and greet had clearly been wearing her thin, almost extremely so- and he could tell.

And seeing the way her body went stiff around the kids? The faint, subtle show of defensiveness and closed off body language when they approached her? The way she stepped back from them sometimes, or avoided getting too close? Izaru had been constantly guarded and wary the whole day, even if she didn't mean to be, or want to... And seeing the tiredness and weariness starting to poke through her expression so neutral and flat, turning it into something exhausted and strained as the hours went by... ?

It made his heart ache. Really, really ache. Because he still remembered her, and how social she had been so, so long ago. He remembered how easily she used to be able to talk to other people, and how easily she settled into being around others, and helping them, and having fun. That part of her that had been friendly and easygoing was just gone now- destroyed under all that bad, and pain, and years of being alone. The ache in his core was painful enough at times that it sharpened and he felt like his heart was cracking, bit by bit. Because even though he could see the strain, and how difficult all of this was on her- he could also tell she was really trying... Trying so, so hard to just... Not be that way, maybe.

Shota (and several others...) had several times called Hizashi oblivious, and maybe he was at times, but he did notice things too. And he noticed this- how hard it seemed to be for her to even just try.

Izaru's eyes flashed slightly as she gave him one small nod, before glancing away from him and ahead. Hizashi blinked at her, a little unsure of what the nod was supposed to mean, or why she seemed to force herself a sigh just then.

"... Sorry... I don't mean to be so... tense..." She murmured softly, and he stiffened in surprise at the apology. "... I don't get why... being around them would make me feel so... Uncomfortable... But I thought... Maybe it would be easier, after awhile..." She mumbled, her eyes dropping a little as she shook her head a bit. "... I suppose it didn't... get easier, the longer it went on... But... I think in the long run... Making introductions now, is better than holding off on it... this just..." Izaru trailed off a moment, her shoulders sinking a little as her eyes dropped closed, and he heard her let out a heavy sigh.

... all of this...

"... None of this... used to be this... Hard..." Izaru murmured softly, nearly all to herself that time- and Hizashi's face twisted a bit painfully at the words.

"... Izaru..." He mumbled quietly, his hand reaching toward her on instinct- but he stopped himself halfway, because he wasn't sure if the contact would be welcomed or not.

His eyes dropped from her and toward the hand he'd reached out, his steps slowing to a stop and halting their walk without warning. Izaru noticed he stopped walking right away, though he didn't notice it when she stopped, he just looked at his hand as he pulled it back toward himself slowly.

... probably a 'not' on the... contact thing... huh...?

Izaru turned slightly, her eyes opening as she glanced to him and that pensive, strained look on his face. His eyes had locked on his hand and the Voice Hero didn't give any indication of moving again... There was no semblance of his bright, happy demeanor anymore, and she blinked at it.

"... You don't need to keep apologizing... Ya know..." Hizashi mumbled at length, "... I know... I know its all hard for ya... I'm sorry things got so bad for you, for so long... And I wish I knew how to... Make it easier... I wanna do something to make things better for ya, Izaru... But I guess I'm not really good at handling things like this... And I don't know how to be... someone who... knows what to do... with..." He grimaced a bit to himself, trailing off and closing his hand a little too tightly to be normal. Izaru blinked again, her head tilting slightly as he seemed to grit his teeth.

"... People who are hurting, and nervous... And unsure... I dunno, I've just never been good with helping people with that sort of thing... And I think the more I try, I have a habit of just making it worse..."

... Or pissing them off, in Shota's case...

"...I... Its just... You do know you don't need to keep trying to act like everything is okay, if it's not, right...?" Hizashi mumbled, "... I know you might not want to... Or be okay with it... But you can tell me if you need something, or if you need me to just... Leave you alone... I just don't want you to rush things... I could tell today was a lot for you..." He told her softly, his voice dropping away entirely this time until it was just silence between them. He didn't look up at her again, not even as one minute became two, and Izaru let out a silent breath, her eyes dropping closed for a few seconds as her composure deflated.

Hizashi had always been such a worrywart, more than a lot of people realized. He was so loud and exaggerated and happy all the time it took a lot to notice that he was also a nervous, unsure sort of soul at times, deep down...

She cast him a glance, shifting slightly on her feet in his direction before stopping again. She swallowed a little, her hands in her jacket pockets clenching for a few seconds as apprehension hit her square on in an instant- they jerked, just a little... she intended to lift them up, but they wouldn't do it right away, and she had to bite back at the sheer unease that rammed into her.

... damn it... I still... tch...

She shook her head at herself a little curtly and stepped toward him a pace or two more, her left hand leaving her pocket as she slowly, hesitantly, let it fall on the Voice Hero's shoulder. Hizashi jumped slightly at the sudden contact, his eyes snapping up to see her grey eyes glittering. But he held her eyes for only a second before they darted away and toward her hand on his shoulder, because... She... She feels like she's shaking... Just faintly...?

He swallowed a bit at it and caught her eyes again, just in time to see her shake her head a little. "I'm fine, honestly... I am okay... even if things are hard, or different right now... I'm not in any place bad enough that you need to worry about it..." She told him quietly, "... I'm not rushing, and I'm not forcing myself into anything that I don't think I can handle... If there's something I honestly don't think I can take... I'm not going to lie about it, or try to tell myself or anyone else it's 'okay' when it really isn't." She murmured calmly, and he just held her gaze, silent and stiff in his spot as her hand lift off his shoulder again, slowly. "... Today wasn't that bad... It was just tiring, and a lot to try and get used to..." She mumbled, her hand retracting as she let out a small sigh. "... I would have told you if I needed to stop, and I didn't... I know you're worried, I'm not trying to make you be... Please trust that I'll say something, if I'm not really ok...?" She murmured. Hizashi paused, looking uneasy as she tilted her head a bit more and his hands wrung together in front of him a little- which she noticed, and she sighed.

... he's still all... wound up...

... what do I... say...?

... maybe...

"... things always really ate at you when you got worked up... And it's because you care about people a lot..." Izaru murmured next, and his eyes widened slightly at the sudden mention.

What did she...?

"... you always got bent out of shape... when people were having a rough time, or they weren't... feeling good." Izaru murmured slowly, "... You stuck close, did what you could to make them laugh, or forget about what was worrying them... And I know you worried about how everyone else was doing, all the time... More than what you let everyone see outwardly..." She paused, her eyes shinning as she offered up a small, weary little smile that made his heart flutter a bit. "... You aren't exactly shy about letting other people know when you're worked up... but you do have a habit of letting your worry wind you up more tightly than you need to... enough to make you sick, even..." She told him, and he smiled faintly himself, a slight bit embarrassed now... and a little shocked, honestly.

"... ya... noticed all that... about me...?" He asked quickly, and Izaru nodded, her smile fading again and back to some unnatural level of calm and cool now that she hadn't been all day.

"Of course." She murmured, shrugging slightly. "... with a Quirk that makes me more hyper-aware and perceptive than your average person, it'd be pretty hard not to..." She commented, and he nodded a bit at that. She paused a moment though, her eyes dropping from him briefly and chewing on the inside of her cheek in what seemed like thought for just half a second, and then she let out a small breath.

... I think... I need to say it again...

... and this time... I think... I mean it...

"... that, and we are friends. With how much we talked to one another in school, I was bound to pick up on things like that." She added softly, and he stiffened, eyes wide and glittering as his ears rung on that; 'friends'

Somehow her saying it now felt so much warmer, and so much better than when she had said it back at the hospital- maybe like it was more genuine, less like she was telling him what he wanted to hear... Whatever it was that made it sound nicer this time, it also made a small smile crack over his face, and her expression softened a little at it.

"... I know you're really worked up about all of this... and me." Izaru murmured, "... And I know you're... probably worked up about Shota too..." She added, and he stiffened in surprise at that, while she nodded a bit at the way his smile fell just then. "... I get why... I see it too... everybody is... really wound up about all of this... Shota is too... even though he always does his best to hide what he's thinking, and feeling... but... just... give it some time... okay...?"

"... right... I know... I will... I just... " Hizashi murmured, his eyes dropping to his hands he was still wringing together apprehensively. "... Shota wouldn't talk about it with me... and I'm not surprised... all of this... just isn't something he's good at dealing with... stuff like this... there's been a lot of... bad stuff he's had to deal with... and he has a hard time... he kinda just buries it... ya know...?" He mumbled, his voice quavering a little and Izaru blinked at it, her head tilting slightly in question to the 'bad stuff'... because it sounded like maybe it was more than just what was going on with herself, and Simon...?

Hizashi never elaborated on it though, he just shook his head at himself and forced a breath, before smiling faintly and meeting her eyes again.

"... But you two totally talked things over, when ya went out the other night, right...? At least a little?" He asked, and she blinked. "Sho doesn't like talking about personal things, or emotions and stuff like that- and he won't even talk about that stuff with me easy, and we've been best friends for ages now... But you and him always had this thing between ya, even back in school... He wasn't so slow to talk to you about some of that stuff, right...? You two told each other things you never told anybody else, like being DIN, yeah...?" He went on, and Izaru blinked slowly, her grey eyes flashing a bit as her head tilted at the words.

... 'thing between ya'...?

"I don't mind that you didn't tell me about it, back then Izaru. I totally get it, you were real worked up about it all, and I can't imagine how many doubts ya had about any of it...!" Hizashi told her lightly, his smile strengthening a tad. "From what Shota said, ya didn't even tell him straight off either yeah...? He figured out ya had a Quirk and pretty much didn't give you a choice but to admit it... and Shota being Shota, of course he figured out about the whole DIN thing right off...!" He chuckled, and Izaru just nodded once.

"... uh... yeah... I wasn't really planning on telling anyone... and when he brought it up... I just figured I couldn't lie... he already knew. Asking was just confirming it..." She mumbled,

"Mhmm, but even then you probably didn't feel so hesitant about admitting it, yeah? You and Shota always got along real well, even if he grumbled about it." Hizashi hummed, smiling a little more. "You two just seemed to get each other real easy, ya know~?"

"... 'get'...?" Izaru breathed, he nodded.

"Yeah, like understand each other super easy and stuff. And like... you know what the other is thinking, feeling- that sort of thing, without ever having to tell each other." He grinned. Izaru paused at the explanation though, her eyes narrowing just a tad in thought, before they dropped to the ground and she shook her head a little.

"... I wouldn't say I get him all that well..." She mumbled, Hizashi blinked in surprise at the words. "... as it is... I didn't even realize he liked cats..." Izaru sighed, and he faltered, his eyes narrowing and his head tilting more than a tad.

"Hmm..? What do ya mean?" He mumbled quickly, "We were both with Sho when he wandered off in Kamino, that weekend we all went shopping during fall break. It took you and me forever to find him again, and when we did he was sitting in an alley with three stray cats." Hizashi told her, chuckling a bit at the memory and he moved his hands into resting on his hips. "Shota had even stopped in a store to buy the kitties some food, and sort of just forgot he was with you and me, hehe~! You're the one who started looking in alleys, cause you thought he'd gotten sidetracked by a stray cat, Izaru~!" He murmured, pointing her way nonchalantly and looking amused still at the thought- but Izaru stiffened, her eyes widening slightly as her attention remained fixed on the ground for a few long seconds, and her heart felt like it skipped a beat.

... w...what...?

"You totally figured Sho had a thing for cats, and ya confirmed it when ya found him...! I hadn't even caught on before then, oh yeah~!" Hizashi went on brightly, before he broke off when he realized how still Izaru had gotten... like really really still.

Was she...?

"... ah, Izaru? Do ya not remember that...?" He asked warily after a moment, and she felt her heart skip another beat as her stomach tightened. Something raced through her just then, cold and biting, and on an ultrahigh... some emotion she couldn't quite place... like...

... Is that... panic...?

W...why... why don't I...?

I...i...I thought... everything from back then... from school... I thought it was... all there...?

She gulped slightly, her eyes flashing as she shook her head rather stiffly.

"... n.. no..." She mumbled, almost too quiet to hear, but he definitely heard it, and his eyes widened in shock. "... I... I don't... remember that... a... at all..." She breathed, and he shook his head quickly, hands fidgeting as he waved them at her in what was meant to be a reassuring gesture.

"Oh... ah... well, n-no worries! It's been a long time since then after all...! It's not weird ya might have blanked on it...!" Hizashi told her quickly, immediately trying to ease what tension had fallen on the subject. Izaru nodded to the words, stiffly so, but her eyes still stayed down.

... shit... have...?

"Ah, come on Izaru~! Let's head back yeah? We can grab some grub back at the Dorms~!"

"... Alright..."

... have... is there more I don't remember... and didn't realize... I lost...?

.:+:.

How much... is missing...?

... how will I ever know... it's gone... if... if I don't remember it...?

... I... I thought I...

... I thought I... still... had everything... from before...

... what if... nothing ever comes back...?

Izaru hissed, her teeth gritting again the thought and her body hunching a little too where she sat at the bar counter in the Staff Dorm's kitchen, her head in her hands and utterly rigid.

She had no clue how long she'd been sitting there, or even really what time it was now- she'd been sinking further and further into that pit in the corners of her mind, after having dropped into it without intending to.

She and Hizashi had come back here, met up with Shota and Nemuri, eating dinner and chatting... Well, Nemuri and Hizashi did most (if not all) of the talking, while Shota and herself just listened... Or tried to listen, in Izaru's case. She tried the whole night through, all the way until they all headed to their rooms and she got left there, telling them she was probably gonna end up coding and she was fine alone... She meant to code, but hell.

She couldn't get what Hizashi had said out of her head... that thing that had happened with the alley, and the cats, and Shota so long ago, back in school... the thing were she apparently had already known Shota had liked cats long before now- but she could not remember it at all. No matter how hard she tried to dig into the recesses of her mind and scavenge even shreds of the memory of that happening, nothing came.

It's just... gone

Completely gone

And if that was missing? Where up until now she hadn't thought she'd forgotten any of her time before Simon, and before the Pit?

If she was missing a memory like that... how much more could be gone, and she would never know...?

How much of her life was actually fractured and unreachable now...? The last ten years surely, and even a lot of the worst portions of the Pit had blurred... But she'd thought everything else was whole, untouched, untainted.

... But... If I can't... Remember... A memory like... That one...?

... Statistically... There isn't anyway I haven't lost something else...

... My mind... Is...

Her fingers dug into the top of her head and her hair a bit tighter, shoulders hunching as a small, shaky hiss forced it's way passed her teeth.

... My mind is... So much more broken... Than I thought...

And with that realization, she sank so quickly into that pit and into a torrent of thoughts and worry-ridden things that kept nagging, and worsening the more she stayed wading around in it.

How much is gone?

Would it ever come back?

Are the things she was missing, and couldn't remember, important...? Mundane...?

... Did it matter what kind of memories they were, really...?

Realizing they were probably gone just... Left her feeling a lot more empty than she could fathom, a lot more lost... A lot more...

... Hollow...

She didn't want those ones to be gone... None of her life in school, nothing about being at UA, what happened being there, and before that... She didn't want to have lost any of it.

Not that

... But... That didn't change the fact that- tch...

...S... Shit...

"... Izaru, Good morning!"

She jumped, the silence of the Staff Room suddenly broken by the cheery voice at the (now open) door. Izaru glanced around quickly, her eyes opening for the first time in a long while and matching with Principal Nezu's, his hand (paw?) raised in what seemed to be his normal greeting. He was there at the front door of the Staff building, walking in calmly as he waved at her and she'd not even been aware of the door opening at all... naturally, given her head had been deep down in that pit that lurked ever at her heels, until he snapped her from it.

Being pulled back up from it's depths was jarring though, and even as she caught the Principle's eyes she didn't really react, or register what he said- not until he'd almost crossed the threshold in it's entirety. And when at last her mind caught up with it all, she'd been staring a bit too long to be normal, and she swallowed hard against it, cursing herself in her head.

... It's... Already morning...?

... I didn't...

"... Ah... Good... morning... Sir..." Izaru mumbled quickly, turning in her seat to face him. He drew up a foot or two in front of her, his hands hooking behind his back and smiling coolly.

"You're up early." The Principle hummed, "Or perhaps you're not up early at all, but rather up late?" He mused, his head tilting just a smidge as he seemed to take in her appearance in seconds' time. Izaru swallowed a bit for the comment, her expression falling quickly neutral and erasing what little bit of unease that might have been noticeable, and the Principle saw it easily- or rather, he noticed how quickly she reverted back to being the expressionless persona of 'Seer', especially so at what he said (and meant by it).

"Ah, that is it, isn't it? You've been up all night, hmm?" He hummed coolly, and Izaru seemed to let out a breath at it- which he took as a yes, though he certainly did not need a confirmation at all. "I see, though I suppose I'm not really surprised, given your sleeping habits! I would advise you get some sleep later today however, given you've been awake for several days already." He told her lightly, and she nodded faintly.

"... I'll... Try..." She mumbled, and he nodded to the soft reply, and left it at that.

"Wonderful, now changing the subject- I am glad to have caught you." He started again, and she blinked at it, her grey eyes narrowing in question and he smiled pleasantly up at her. He swept a hand in a little gesture back toward the door, stepping to the side a bit as he did it and looking at her expectantly, and so very calmly all at once.

"Would you please join me for a walk?" He hummed lightly, and Izaru faltered a bit at the request, her eyes narrowing slightly.

... A... Walk...?

The Principle just kept smiling pleasantly at her though, patient as she seemed to wrestle internally with the request, what it meant, and what prompted it all in the course of a few heartbeats- and a few heartbeats that had faint inklings of uncertainty breaking into the barren expression on her face. It took a moment or two, but eventually Izaru shifted, pushing herself off the chair and stepping onto the floor again with little a noise, and she slowly nodded.

"... Ah... Sure..."

.:+:.

Everything shook underneath him suddenly, his world overtaken with a deep, rumbling vibration that snapped him harshly from sleep- and he jerked up off the desk with an aggravated, drowsy grumble.

He sighed, rubbing at his eyes and leaning heavily into his elbows as he forced himself into sitting up, which caused an ache in his shoulders to radiate down his spine... He must have fallen asleep putting together plans for the new semester, which meant he'd spent the night at his desk- his back hated him for it instantly upon waking up, but he ignored it. One of his hands dropped from his face and fumbled among the papers and such looking for the source of the rumbling that had snapped him awake, and eventually after a few tries he found his phone tucked under some books, the screen lit up and harsh against his eyes.

Aizawa leaned back in his chair and blinked several times over to try and get rid of the glare, and the blurriness, so he could focus on what the screen was showing. His free hand moved up to push his bangs back from his face as he did so, and then his fingers stalled and remained tangled in the dark strands once he could make out what had prompted the buzzing.

...hmm...?

New Message From: Aneko
I'm with the Principle

His eyes narrowed in question as he opened it up- but that was all there was, just the one simple statement... She must have simply sent it so he knew she wasn't around when he woke up, which was fine (and somewhat appreciated... Though he would have been fine without it regardless). But her being 'with the principle' did make him wonder a little what for...?

He sighed, setting the phone back down on the desk, his eyes dropping closed and hands rubbing at his face wearily as he let his neck hang over the back of the chair. He sighed heavily, his hands stalling and falling slowly away from his face after a few long moments, his blood-shoot eyes trailing toward the door to the room and the little touchpad/communicator attached to the wall just beside it, glowing dimly with the time and date.

Aizawa's hands dropped from his face all the way as he gave it a look, another, smaller, breath escaping him.

"Oh... We're having the Assembly today... That's what it is..." Aizawa mumbled to himself, his eyes trailing away from the screen and to the ceiling overhead, his head still hanging a bit.

"... I almost forgot about it entirely..."

.:+:.

"... I understand this is difficult for you, Izaru. Both the Staff and I all wish to make this as easy on you as possible, and ensure your time spent here is both comfortable, as well as beneficial for you." The Principle told her coolly, his eyes trailing sideways toward the woman walking at his side, quiet as can be as he lead them both steadily further from the Staff Dorm.

"You've had nothing less than a trying life, and things for you have been far more awful than most people ever have to endure. It is impressive how well you've made it through everything that has happened to you, and while I don't doubt you will find some way to pull through all these recent events too- I will not say it will be easy getting there." Nezu went on steadily, his eyes moving away from Izaru when she failed to catch his eye, and looking ahead to where they were going instead. He crossed his paws behind his back with a quiet breath,

"You have a tough road ahead of you. Not only will it be challenging to find, and eventually apprehend Simon, as well as contend with any other dangers that may befall you and this school with the new shift in our Hero society... But it will also be challenging for you to settle in here, and do your best to pick up the pieces of your life again." He murmured, "I understand all of this is quite foreign for you, you've not been around people for so long, nor had opportunity to really try and form attachments, or really focus on your own emotions and needs. You've spent a long time doing what was needed of you by others, and working to keep them safe and care for them- even ahead of yourself... Your selflessness is admirable, and a very fine quality, and I don't mean to sound as if I am asking you to abandon it. I simply wish to say, and advise you- do not forget to take care of yourself, while you do the same for others." He murmured, smiling faintly as he cast her another glance, and this time her grey eyes slowly shift over to meet his.

"I do hope you know that we all want to help you, however we can. And if you ever need something, or wish to talk- please don't hesitate to lean on the other Staff, or myself. Alright?" Nezu murmured, and he saw her otherwise barren expression pull a little, a little uneasy, a little uncertain. "I hold the safety and health of my Staff in just as high regard as that of my students. Even if you are only a recent addition to our roster, and even if you don't have a set job just yet- you are a Teacher at my school, and for that I only wish you the best, and will gladly give you all the help you need." He hummed and Izaru seemed to frown ever so faintly at it, her grey eyes flashing.

"... I still don't understand entirely why you agreed to have UA take custody of me." She mumbled after a moment, the Principle's head tilting for the words. "I know you reasoned it wouldn't cause any further trouble, since Midoriya was already being targeted anyway... And I do get that my Quirk can be useful, and that maybe even my being close at hand might be beneficial, in terms of contending with Simon, should I remember anything, but..." She murmured, her left hand moving up to find a familiar place on the back of her neck and she glanced away from the Principle altogether. "... honestly, the more I think about it, the more it seems like my being here just makes everything a lot more complicated- more so than it does help anything, or be any sort of advantage." Izaru sighed quietly, "... It's not that... I'm not grateful, for the chance to be here... I do appreciate it, and everything said, and you wanting to help... I'm just... not sure me being around is gonna do more good than bad..." She murmured softly, "... every way I look at it... even if I do help with the students, training, classes, Villain attacks, danger or whatever... anything I do is not gonna outweigh how much trouble I might bring... or how much trouble I am on everyone..." She told him quietly, her eyes dropping closed.

"... everyone is already... worked up, and uneasy... about all of it, and all they learned, heard... or are imagining... they're being careful, and worrying... me being here puts them on edge, keeps bringing up all the bad that's happened... so at what point does me being here become more of a distraction, than any sort of advantage...?" Izaru asked quietly, her walking slowly ever so slightly, and without her noticing it- but the Principle did, and he watched quietly as she shook her head once or twice. "... at what point do all of the complicated, unpleasant things my being here brings up... become much more of a problem than any of you can afford to deal with... on top of everything else you're contending with...? If you, and Shota, and everybody else in the Staff has to worry about me, and the students all at the same time... You can't prioritize me above them. And if my being here makes is harder for you to keep the students safe- you can't afford keeping me around, if that means you might end up slipping up with the students... not for anything."

"... Hmmm, do you consider you might be a burden, by being here?" Nezu hummed after a moment, and Izaru paused, her lips pulling into a tight line.

"... I don't want to be." She mumbled, "And I don't mean to be either... it's completely my intention to help as much as I am able... but intentions only get you so far. Sometimes no matter what you do, you're not enough, you don't help anything... and without meaning to, sometimes you make things harder, no matter what you might try and do, or intend." She replied lowly and the Principle nodded slightly, though she never saw it.

"... your concerns are reasonable, and I can't say I am surprised you're wondering about it... how much good or bad you being here is, and which will outweigh the other." The Principle murmured levelly, his head dipping slightly as he looked ahead again. "Which is which? Only time will tell... but to be perfectly honest Izaru, I am not worried about which way that scale tips at all. More good, or more bad- it does not matter." He said simply and Izaru stiffened slightly, her slowed walking coming to a full halt now. The Principle stepped passed her a few paces before he stopped too, his eyes still straight ahead and not moving back her way.

... it... doesn't matter...?

"If myself, or any of the rest of the Staff are worried, or concerned over you, or what has befallen you- I do not see that as a bad thing. And I do not see it as a distraction either... at least, no more than would be expected in situations such as this, or similar." The Principle went on steadily, oblivious to the confused look Izaru had on him. "Pro Heroes are no strangers to uncertain and difficult situations, and it is their duty to look after others even despite the dangers they may be facing. They have worked their whole lives learning how to balance their concern for the well-being of others, and still remain focused and precise in their actions, and their decisions. Their worry and concern is not a hindrance, nor is it really much of a distraction... it is part of being a Hero. It is a necessary ability of Pros to remain certain in what they do, despite any concerns you might see as possible distractions... it is their job not to bend under their worry, and to remain steadfast and strong despite it. Heroes thrive on their concern for others- it fuels their desire to help, save, and protect anyone and everyone they can." Nezu hummed, "Because of this, I truly believe it won't matter how much everyone might worry, or how affected they may be by what has happened to you, or will. Everyone here is fully capable of handling all of it, even all at once- their concern, and whatever may come- it will not hinder them in their jobs to keep the school, the students, and each other safe... and it certainly won't hinder them from caring for you as well, Izaru."

Izaru blinked at that, her eyes flashing and her hands wringing together in front of her uncertainly.

"Hmm, you must already be aware that it was not solely my decision to allow you to come to UA, yes?" Nezu murmured with a small glance over his shoulder toward the woman, "While my opinion certainly held weight, the final decision was made and decided by the entire Staff Board. We discussed this extensively, weighing all of the pros and cons I am sure you've have already thought of yourself- and still, the final decision was to bring you here." He told her lightly, "There are many on the Board who know you personally, and it is true that may have influenced their final decisions in some way- but their votes do not outweigh the rest. Like myself, Snipe, Vlad, Ectoplasm- and even Cementoss and Thirteen, who only knew you very briefly- our thoughts on the matter were very much aligned."

He turned this time, only halfway, but it was enough their eyes matched, and Izaru just stayed stuck to her spot, slightly rigid and utterly quiet.

"Our Society is on shaky footing with All Might's retirement, and the future is beginning to look bleak without our Symbol of Peace to deter criminals as he always has." Nezu murmured steadily, "UA needs to be a safe space for our students to learn, and to grow- so they may go out into society and reshape the foundations that have begun to be withered down with all that's transpired. It is my belief, and the belief of the others on the Board, that you will help us with that. You can not only relay to us when danger approaches, but you can help the school and it's students in a number of ways. You are an extremely intelligent individual, dedicated, sincere, and with a will and drive to protect anyone you can. You are someone who has gone through some of the worst of what this world has to offer, and through hardships that would have normally debilitated anyone completely- but you have always pushed through, tried to do good, be helpful, save others, and find a reason to keep trying. Someone like you is exactly what we need right now, with things looking to be headed toward dark and trying times." He told her, and Izaru's eyes widened ever so slightly at it, her heart skipping a beat though she didn't know why.

"I have hopes that you being here will help mold the students even further, and perhaps even influence them to stand tall even in whatever bad may come. I hope that you might influence them in your own way, to do as you have always done- find a way to keep trying." He murmured, "And I also hope that while you try and settle in- that the time you spend at UA, with the students, as well as the other Staff- will eventually help you find a place here, as a start... and then eventually, help you find a foothold in the world once more, even away from UA." He added softly, "As I said, I don't doubt you'll manage your way through all of this eventually, and pick up the pieces of your life- but I do think being here will help you along the way to that... to getting your life back, where it was stolen and kept from you for so long."

... my... life... back...?

"I hope it will be something of a symbiotic relationship, if you will. I think you have a lot to offer here at the school given the chance, and I think everyone else has plenty to offer that will help you as well, Izaru." He hummed lightly, smiling a bit as his eyes flashed. "And besides, we are Pro Heroes after all- there was no way any of us Staff could look the other way once we found out what you were going through. You've been in a bad situation for a very long time, if we have even the slightest chance to try and help you through all of this, we will take it gladly. Whatever we can do, we will- that is our way as Heroes... It's likely well passed time we do our part for you, as you are certainly owed, after all you've done for others all your life." He added steadily, and her heart did that thing again- like it skipped.

... Owed...?

He smiled a bit and raised a paw toward her, as calm as can be still and seemingly unfazed by how... How much she was reeling now, honestly.

It must have been obvious, right...? She couldn't... She didn't get this-

"All that said, please don't worry yourself over what you being here might entail. We are happy to have you, Izaru, and we are happy to help you in any way we can. All we ask of you, is please- let us assist you as we are able, and all anyone here at the school expects is for you to try your best..! Whatever you can give us, in any capacity- is more than enough, I assure you." He told her a bit more brightly now, and she just blinked slowly, her mind running even more sluggishly. "I hold no doubt in regards to your work ethic, so I don't think you won't pull your weight for any reason. I trust you will do what you can, and as much as you are able, as you find your own little niche here in out school- and I am happy with simply that."

Izaru blinked again, her hands stuck together and her previously fidgeting fingers stalled now along with everything else- her body, her mind... Her lungs.

This shouldn't be hard to understand... Right...?

He's not saying anything... Extremely complicated to understand... Right...?

... So why...?

I don't... This isn't... Clicking...?

Shouldn't it... Click...?

... Is... What he's saying...?

The Principle smiled slightly, his paw lowering again as he crossed them behind his back once more.

"Are you alright?" He hummed lightly and she jumped faintly at the question, the stillness shattered as she reflexively nodded, though slowly so.

"Ah... Yes, I'm... I'm just trying to... Process... All of that..." She mumbled a bit disjointedly, and the Principle nodded slightly.

"I understand." He murmured lightly, "Take all the time you need, Izaru... But for now, do you mind if I switch the topic slightly?" He hummed and she paused, blinking once or twice again, before nodding stiffly.

"... Sure..."

"Wonderful." He chirped, his paw sweeping to the side a bit in gesture for them to start walking again, and Izaru obliged... Though a bit sluggishly, and she bit down on the inside of her cheek for how hard it was to start moving again.

... Damn it... what is... wrong with me...?

"Now, I am not sure if Aizawa or anyone else has already mentioned this, but I do plan to host a School Assembly today." The Principle started again once they were off, Izaru unlinking her hands and stuffing them in her jacket pockets instead. "I have a few things I would like to say to the students as a whole, and I will also reiterate your new role here as a Teacher for any of those who you might have missed while out with Mic yesterday." He murmured and Izaru nodded slightly. "And then I will also be introducing a secondary new Staff member alongside yourself." He went on, and her nod stalled halfway.

New...?

"In an effort to provide better care for the students, and the Staff as well, I decided it was best to bring someone in who is qualified to help us navigate the effect these uncertain times have on everyone. And someone who might help alleviate some fears and work through things we might be unable to mull through on our own, or shouldn't try to tackle all alone." He went on calmly, "There's a lot nowadays and with everything that has already happened that's put a considerable amount of stress on the students and Staff, and I worry what effect it has had on those most central to all the unfortunate things that have occurred. Our students have been attacked, and taken, and the threat of another event like what happened at the USJ and the Training Camp is on the forefront of everyone's minds. And in both of these events, it was not only the students who were harmed, but the Staff as well... The mental strain of everything is surely weighing heavily on all of us, but worse so for those most involved." He murmured softly, and Izaru blinked at that. "... This amount of difficulty and danger we have been facing is abnormal surely, but now with All Might retired I do fear it is likely to get more frequent all across the country, and not just at UA. Which means we need to be more mindful to take care of both everyone's health, and mental well-being as much as we are able."

Izaru stiffened, her hands in her pockets curling slightly. Her eyes darted away from the Principle and to the side, her lips pulling into a thin line and suddenly looking almost... Hesitant. Like she had something to say but she couldn't get to the point of actually voicing it, which only made her expression twist a little more- a little more uneasy, a little more unsure, and a little more frustrated.

The Principle noticed it, glancing her way curiously as he paused for a few seconds, but she never said anything- so he let it be and kept on.

"I've asked a trusted colleague to join the Staff for the duration of the rest of this school year, and perhaps she will stay longer when the time comes. She's been working as a psychiatrist specializing in aftermath trauma for a few years now, and she's well-versed in many different fields of psychology- so she should be easily able to fulfill a role of Counselor here in the school." Nezu murmured, "She also has an extensive background in emergency medicine, and some more practical experience out of the field and in a more traditional settings like hospitals and such. So she'll also be helping Recovery Girl with her duties as well, should the need arise." He explained and Izaru glanced his way slowly, her grey eyes narrowing slightly in faint intrigue.

"... emergency medicine...?" She murmured and Nezu nodded,

"Yes, she worked as a Support Hero for a time- so she has a Hero License, though she doesn't work as a Pro any longer... at least not out in field." He explained, "Her Quirk made her quite good at her job as a Pro, and better still even with her now no longer active outside the office- it's called 'Heal and Take'. Without going too far into the details, she is able to heal minor wounds completely, though she can't do much healing with anything mild or serious- but she can 'take' injuries away from people, so to speak... of course taking them does mean she transfers a wound on to herself, which may help the person she's taking it from, but it would just hurt her in the process. And I believe she is also able to feel emotions from people, though only if she's close in proximity to them." Nezu hummed, and Izaru nodded in understanding.

"... I see..."

"Anyway, we are headed to meet her now. She arrived early this morning and has been settling in her new office, and catching up with Recovery Girl." The Principle hummed next, his eyes shifting back ahead again. "I wanted you two to get acquainted, and I do hope you two can get along, and perhaps find some common ground between you." He hummed, "It is my hope that eventually you'll feel comfortable enough to talk with her about whatever you may need. You by no means have to, it is not an order or a command- but I would like you to at least give the idea a try. While you are welcome to talk to any of the rest of the Staff, and myself, whenever you need- we may not necessarily be fully equipped, nor have all the necessary skills to help you through everything. Ms. Kazuho is more knowledgeable than we may be, and will likely be of better help at times." He explained softly, and Izaru bit the inside of her cheek, nodding just faintly.

It made sense. Somewhere in her head, it made rational sense- all of it did... It wasn't completely unfounded, or uncalled for... She knew that. Somewhere in her fractured, strewn-apart mind, it made sense. Somehow it made sense she would need to talk to someone, someone like whoever 'Kazuho' was... But she was still... Struggling to process it at all.

Process why it made sense, why she would even-

Izaru bit down on her cheek a bit harder, enough she tasted blood and she forced a small, tense breath.

... It doesn't click... Not all the way... Damn it... But...

"... I'll try." She murmured softly, her voice quavering ever so slightly and she hated it did, and that she couldn't understand why it would.

Always why

"... I know... Everything you've been saying is... Reasonable... I don't why it is, really... There's... A disconnect... In my head still... But..." She mumbled,

Always I don't get it

"... I will try..." She told him softly, and she did mean it.

I... Want to try... I wonder... If I can... Do what he said...

... If trying... Will make a difference... So sometime... Maybe... Eventually...

... Maybe eventually... I will process... All of this...

... Maybe eventually... I will get it... Maybe it will... Help...

... And maybe... If that happens...

She eased up on biting her cheek, swallowing back at the faint metallic tang in her mouth and her shoulders sinking slightly, her grey eyes on the floor and with no intention to move up again any time soon.

"... Thank you... For all of this... And... Being patient, Sir..." She murmured quietly, and the Principle paused for only a moment with his eyes on the woman at his shoulder, before nodding.

"Of course, Izaru."

.:+:.

... Maybe... If any of that... Ever happens...

... If... The disconnects... Go away... If... Things stop being so... Impossible to really understand...

... Maybe then... There might be a definite answer... To that question...

... And maybe I'll see... If I can... Do that... Pick up the pieces, and...

... And to get there...? Being here... At UA...?

... He made it sound like I...

... shit...

... In what version... Of all of this...?

In what version... Can I... Live...?

Can... Can I have... Any sort of...?

... Normal... Life...?

.:+:.

"Ah, Izaru Dearie! Good morning!" Recovery Girl chirped as she caught sight of the 'Villain' in the doorway to the Nurse's Office, with Nezu close behind. "And good morning to you too, Nezu." She hummed pleasantly toward the Principle, who smiled and raised his hand/paw(?) in his usual style.

"Good morning!" He replied brightly, Izaru a bit slower and more uncertain as she waved a bit too, her grey eyes flashing.

"... Morning..." She mumbled much more softly, Recovery Girl spinning in her chair to face the doorway more as Izaru and Nezu walked into the office.

"How are you feeling today, dear?" Recovery Girl asked as she caught Izaru's eyes.

"... I'm alright..." Izaru replied softly, her voice fading to none as her eyes flitted quickly away from Recovery Girl and toward the head of red hair that suddenly popped out from behind the the bundle of curtains hanging from the ceiling (and subsequently hiding a desk there... And who that head of red hair belonged to).

It was a woman, leaning back rather precariously now in the chair she was sitting in, and had been digging through the drawers at the desk there until Recovery Girl said her greeting. She had choppy red hair that grew darker at the ends, and of a length that only just reached her shoulders, the corners of her pale, yellow-orange eyes streaked in crowsfeet. She looked older than Izaru herself, though not as old as Recovery Girl, and there was a pair of glasses perched on the end of her nose, almost too far down to have been any use at all. And when the woman looked toward Izaru and the Principle her eyes narrowed, and her attention on the two of them almost seemed... A little unfocused.

... Huh...

"Izaru, hmm? That's pretty good timing, we were just wrapping up." The strange woman hummed coolly, her eyes trailing from Nezu and settling on Izaru indefinitely this time, though their eyes didn't quite meet. She pushed herself and the chair she was in backwards, bringing herself all the way out from behind the curtains and level with Recovery Girl, spinning in her chair halfway to face the two near the doorway more directly and letting out a sigh as she pushed herself onto her feet. She lift her arms above her in a stretch, her fingers linking as she cracked them, before they dropped down again and one of them fell into the pocket of the black lab-coat she was wearing. The other hand moved up to push her glasses up her nose and into a more normal position, her eyes flashing behind the lenses a moment and smiling only for half a second, before it was gone. She took a few steps forward to stop just in front of Nezu and Izaru, waving slightly in their direction.

"Good morning." She hummed coolly, her hand falling back to her side and hip cocking a bit. Recovery Girl pushed herself off her own chair and came up slowly, though the woman and Izaru both gave the Old Lady's movement little mind.

The woman's yellow eyes settled on Izaru, calm and cool, though even still as the older woman looked Izaru's way, her eyes never fully met Izaru's own eyes dead-on. Izaru blinked at it, eyes narrowing slightly and her neutral expression broken by realization for half a second, before it was gone completely.

"Hello, Izaru. I'm Rai Kazuho, it's nice to meet you. Feel free to call me either Rai or Kazuho, whatever is easiest for you to remember." The woman murmured lightly, "I figure Principle Nezu already told you all about today, and me joining UA, hmm?" She asked, and Izaru nodded slowly.

"Yeah..." Izaru murmured, "... Ah, it's good to meet you too..." She added quickly, and the older woman nodded a bit to it.

"Have you settled in here alright?" Nezu asked of Kazuho, and she nodded.

"Yeah, Recovery Girl's got everything set up pretty much the same way as from the last time I was here, so it shouldn't be too hard." Kazuho replied, with a little, almost exasperated wave of her hand. "It's gonna be the whole new dorm system that trips me up..." She sighed and Nezu smiled faintly at it.

"I'm sure you'll get the hang of it in no time." He hummed brightly, "Well now, if you are done here would you care to move on to your new office, and a little tour of the Main Building while we're at it? We should have plenty of time for you to start to set things up in the Staff Dorm afterwards, and before the assembly later on, if you want to get to that." He suggested, and Kazuho nodded slightly.

"Sounds fine with me." She murmured, "It'll be great to get used to all the hallways again, so lead on."

"Wonderful, follow me."

Nezu and Kazuho took the lead, Izaru stepping to the side to let the woman pass her by and take her place at the Principle's shoulder. Kazuho paused half a second when Izaru did so, before letting out a small breath and starting forward without a word- leaving Izaru and Recovery Girl to follow the two of them out (though a bit slowly), and then started the tour. Izaru blinked slowly, her eyes narrowing at Kazuho's back ahead of her, and wondering faintly what 'again' and the 'last time' entailed to being at UA- though Izaru said absolutely nothing about it, and she certainly didn't ask.

"You are up early dear, did you get some good rest last night, Izaru?" Recovery Girl asked as they headed out, her voice diverting Izaru's attention and down toward her slowly.

"... Ah... No, actually..." Izaru mumbled softly and Recovery Girl seemed to wilt a little at it, though she didn't look all that surprised.

"Hmm, I see." The Old Lady murmured, "That's too bad, but you really should try to get some sleep today, alright? You can't go too long without rest, it's not good for you, even if you are used to it."

"... I know... I'll attempt to sleep tonight..." Izaru mumbled softly, and the Old Lady nodded.

"Thank you."

Kazuho's head tilted a bit, her ear turning toward the two behind her and the Principle as Recovery Girl prompted the former Villain. She hummed quietly under her breath, her hand moving to shift her glasses back to the end of her nose again and eyes on the floor. She stayed quiet, Izaru and Recovery Girl falling similarly silent behind them- and she let out a breath at it.

"Thank you again for agreeing to sign on with UA, Kazuho." Nezu said brightly, easily evading the stony silence about to befall their little group and starting up a conversation with ease. "We are lucky to have you here, and I look forward to having your assistance. I do hope we didn't pull you away from anything important."

"Hmm, of course. I'm happy to help." Kazuho replied evenly, her eyes dropping closed even as they continued to walk. "And don't worry about anything like that, this is a good opportunity, and it gave me a good excuse to come back and try to catch up. So I think this'll work out pretty well."

Izaru blinked, her eyes narrowing again in wonder- 'come back and try to catch up'

... Come back... To UA...?

"Hmm, I'm happy to hear you think so." Nezu hummed, his head turning slightly to catch Izaru's eye as if he was somehow acutely aware of the question in her head. "Ah, I think I failed to mention this earlier Izaru- but Ms. Kazuho is actually an alum out of UA as well." He explained lightly and Izaru's eyes flashed, a tiny trickle of understanding flitting across her neutral expression for a moment.

... That makes more sense...

"Hmm, a very old alum." Kazuho sighed slightly, "I left UA a very long time ago, I've only been back once since then- and that was a few years ago. And my stay didn't exactly last very long." She murmured with a small glance over her shoulder in Izaru's direction, and the former 'Villain' nodded slowly,

"... I see..." Izaru murmured quietly, and Kazuho paused a moment, her pale yellow eyes still stuck to Izaru's figure for a heartbeat or two more, before she looked ahead again.

"... I look forward to getting to know you some more, Izaru." Kazuho said coolly, and sort of out of nowhere- enough so Izaru stiffened slightly for the words, though only just. "Things are a little hectic right now, but when we have some time- I'd love to talk, if that's alright with you? We needn't get too far into anything if you don't wish to, but it would be interesting to do a little chit-chat." She hummed, and Izaru paused, her grey eyes glittering.

... Chit-chat...?

"... Maybe we can re-familiarize ourselves in this maze of a school together, too. I'm sure you've probably picked it up again much faster than I ever could, even after this tour..." Kazuho sighed, and Izaru bit the inside of her cheek slightly, her eyes dropping to the floor and her hands in her jacket pockets curling a bit.

"... I don't know... How well I'll do... At... Chatting... But... Sure... I'll do my best..." Izaru mumbled slowly, "... And I can help you around the school after this... If you need... I'll probably be better at that... Than talking..." She added quietly, the words earning slightly sad smiles from Nezu and Recovery Girl both- while Kazuho looked almost amused, though no one ever saw it, and it was gone just as quickly as everything else in her expression before it had been.

Izaru agreed to the idea of talking much more readily than Kazuho expected, to be entirely honest- even if she did make a point to say she wouldn't be very good at it. Generally the expectation would have been more hesitance to 'chat' at all... But no, she didn't pause even hardly, and even the bit about not being 'good at it' sounded much more honest and like an apology- than it did any sort of deflection, or excuse, which would have been sort of typical.

... Hmm... I have a feeling things are not gonna be 'typical' with you, Izaru...

Kazuho knew of course from the start all of this was... Atypical, and strange- and quite unique really, in a lot of ways. The Principle and Recovery Girl both had told Kazuho quite a bit about the whole situation involving the LOV, Simon, Izaru, and everything in between- naturally, she would need to be informed to do her job well. But knowing about all of it, and what effect it had, wasn't the same as seeing, or noticing it first hand. And already Kazuho was noticing it, even if only faintly, and only just the tip of the iceberg so to speak- but she did see it.

... This one... Is gonna be a bit different... Than everything else I've ever seen... Hmm...?

Kazuho let out a breath at the thought, nodding faintly and eyes dropping closed once more.

"I look forward to it, Izaru."

.:+:.

"... That concludes our tour! Do you have any questions, Kazuho?"

"No sir I think I'm good, thank you for the walk around."

"Of course! I need to be going and getting ready for the assembly now, so I'll leave you here. You can find me in the main courtyard if you need something."

"Alright, I think I'll be good for now. Just gonna move things around in here for a bit."

"Ah, I see."

"I'm going to see to a few things before the Assembly myself, so I'll be heading off as well."

"Alright. Izaru- would you mind helping me a move a few of these for a bit, before you head off? I can do everything mostly by myself, but the bigger ones will go easier with two people."

"... ah... sure..."

.:+:.

Izaru bit the inside of her cheek, the feet of the couch skidding slightly across the floor as she nudged it left a bit more, Kazuho on the other end, and nodding slightly as she stepped back from it.

"Does it seem centered?" Kazuho asked lightly as Izaru stepped back herself, regarding it for a moment before nodding slightly.

"... yes I think so." The former 'Villain' mumbled softly in reply, and Kazuho nodded at it, her eyes dropping closed and her hands falling on her hips.

"Lovely, thank you for your help, and your eyes." The older woman murmured lightly, Izaru's grey eyes trailing slowly toward her and quiet. "This went much faster with you lending a hand, I appreciate it."

They'd both shuffled most everything in the room, truth be told- the desk, the couches, the tables, and the cabinets and bookshelves too. And it wasn't simply this room either, it was also the small one attached to it- a sort of entry space where people could wait in chairs, while the main office stayed closed. The first room took little tampering with, but the one they were in now- the layout it had had beforehand wasn't even faintly there anymore, it'd sort of flipped in all their working... not that it was an issue, the space seemed to be filled more effectively now, and there were clear paths around all the big objects, and with easy access to them. Which was the point, Izaru assumed- to make it easier to navigate the room... and she became more certain of it upon hearing that little bit at the end of what Kazuho said.

"... you're welcome..."

There was a moment or two of silence then, neither of them moving, and Izaru's eyes dancing away from Kazuho altogether to stick to the window to her right, movement from down in the courtyard below catching her attention faintly... but only faintly. They were setting up things for the assembly- the Principle, Cementoss, and Hound Dog it looked like- but she wasn't all that interested in it, her mind wandered away where it had been constantly going all through the tour.

"And besides, we are Pro Heroes after all- there was no way any of us Staff could look the other way once we found out what you were going through. You've been in a bad situation for a very long time, if we have even the slightest chance to try and help you through all of this, we will take it gladly. Whatever we can do, we will- that is our way as Heroes... It's likely well passed time we do our part for you, as you are certainly owed, after all you've done for others all your life."

Her eyes narrowed slightly, chewing on the inside of her cheek as the words ran over again in her mind and her stomach knotted itself even further than it already was, though why it made her so tense she just... didn't get.

I don't get any of it... damn it...

"... you alright there, Izaru?"

Izaru jumped slightly, her eyes darting cautiously over toward Kazuho as the older woman voiced the question, her yellow eyes gleaming and stuck in Izaru's general direction- Kazuho just as neutral faced as Izaru herself was, and as she had been through nearly all of what hour or two they had been in one another's company. Rarely did Kazuho seem anything other than calm and tranquil, or even borderline bored at times... but this look now wasn't just neutral, it was intense- searching, almost- and Izaru bit a little harder on the inside of her cheek for it.

"You seem to be thinking rather deeply over there, is something on your mind?" Kazuho asked coolly, and Izaru paused a moment, which the older woman seemed to sense the hesitation and nodded slightly. "Hmm, you needn't tell me what it is if you don't wish to. Just know I will listen, if you would like." Kazuho murmured, her eyes dropping closed with a small sigh. "I assume the Principle already mentioned something about him hoping you'll talk to me, yes?" She asked, and Izaru glanced away again, nodding stiffly.

"... Yes..."

"Hmm, well then I will say this, even if it's a reiteration- you do not have to talk to me, if you truly do not want to, or you are not comfortable with it. You are not obligated to, and no one will force you... but if I might speak plainly, I think you should talk to me. Eventually, anyway." Kazuho murmured softly, and Izaru blinked, a small, silent sigh escaping her.

"... how much do you... know, about everything...?" Izaru asked at length, and the older woman's head tilted one way, and then the other, almost musing.

"Mmm... Most of it." She answered simply, "The most important details I know for certain- I am well aware of your situation, and the things that have happened to you... though the finer details I hoped to find out for myself, rather than be told. And knowing what I do, I do honestly think talking with me will do some good, and maybe I can help you mull through some things you won't be able to on your own. I realize the idea may not seem appealing, but sometimes the unappealing things do have merit." She explained and Izaru nodded slightly in understanding, her eyes flashing as she looked slowly back toward the window.

"... I don't have an issue with it..." Izaru replied softly, after having gone quiet for a heartbeat or two there- and Kazuho jumped faintly in surprise at the answer, her eyes snapping open and instantly at attention. Izaru shook her head slightly, her shoulders falling a bit and her eyes halfway open, watching the slow movements of people outside working away.

"... rationally... it makes sense. I know rationally... talking to you, and anyone else... makes sense... I don't know why it makes sense. The reasoning behind it... it doesn't really click for me... not right now... but I understand it, at least partway... and because of that, I don't have an issue with doing it... It's not that I don't want to do it... and it's not..." Izaru mumbled, before breaking off and letting out a heavy sigh. "... it's not entirely that I am... 'uncomfortable' with it either... it... it makes me a little... uneasy... for some reason that I don't get... but I'm not against trying... I simply... I'm not sure how to do it anymore..." She sighed, and Kazuho's eyes narrowed slightly.

"... do what, if I might ask?" The older woman murmured, and Izaru let out another breath.

"... I'm not sure... I know how to talk to anyone... anymore... Be around people... be... like I used to be..." Izaru breathed, her shoulders tensing slightly as she swallowed.

.:+:.

"What the hell do you know anyway?! You don't know anything about me, so just leave me the fuck alone! And stop saying stupid shit like that, like you have any clue what I'm thinking, got it!?" He snapped hotly, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets and whirling around on his heel to walk away. "I already told you I don't like you, so stop trying to play nice with me, damn it!"

Izaru jumped slightly as he began to stalk off, her body moving as she instinctively took a step forward, her hand reaching out and ready to-

She halted, her mouth open but no words ever forming on her lips. Her heart skipped a beat, and she realized... she had no clue what to even say.

What... what was she even supposed to say? This whole conversation had been... it felt like a whirlwind to her, his anger, his reactions, all of it- utterly unexpected, fast-paced, and her mind was struggling to sift through it all, and come up with a way to understand it. Even her replies had been short and slow to come... and now what little she said seemed to be all she had to give.

She drew her hand back, her eyes falling on it as her posture wilted, and she felt her stomach knot.

... even running into him... I wasn't planning on it... but I could have... tried to... come up with something better, than what I said before... I meant to.

Her eyes darted back up to his back, and her hand fell.

... but I can't... because I don't know how... to come up with something better to say... I don't... know what would even... be better...

Her jaw clenched slightly, swallowing back a lump in her throat and shoulders hunching.

... and now I might have made it worse... but... I just...

"... Bakugou." She called quietly, his name forming on her lips without her meaning for it to. His steps faltered, he hadn't gotten far enough away that he couldn't hear the soft tenor of her voice, and he couldn't help but halt- but even then he didn't look back. She hesitated again, and hated it, and the fact she'd called out before she could stop herself.

Because still, what was she supposed to say? Say and not make this worse? Say and... not make it hurt more...?

"... I'm sorry..." She murmured, her eyes dropping to her feet when that was the only thing that came to mind... her sluggish and fractured mind.

"... it... I don't know... how to... or... if it will make a difference... coming from... me... but..." She went on, her words jagged and so very painfully slow, and unsure. She swallowed, aware that the sound of his footsteps had ceased, and for the moment he was at least trying to let her stumble through it.

She shook her head at herself, frustration twisting itself into a tightly-wound knot in her core as she rapidly tried to find the next fractured string of words... and without a clue if they really were the right ones.

Shit

"... it... it wasn't because of you..." She managed at last, her voice fading off to something just shy of whisper. Her shoulders hunched further, her teeth gritting and she heard him hiss, low and shaking, but she didn't dare look up at him again.

"...tch.. just... quit talking already... damn it..." He shot back, his voice tense but not near what angry, explosive tenor it had been for most of the conversation. She stiffened, her lips pulling into a tight line as he started walking again, grumbling all the while and waving a hand back at her dismissively.

"... leave me the hell alone..."

The sound of his footsteps faded away into nothing, and by the time she glanced up again he had turned another corner and was out of sight.

She growled under her breath, her hands hooking behind her neck as she dropped down into sitting on the balls of her feet, her head bending enough to let her elbows rest on her thighs. She closed her eyes, shaking her head a few times at herself, and muttering a string of incoherent curses under her breath.

... why...?

... Why can't I... Why was that... So hard...? Why can't...

She forced a long sigh, her fingers tightening around the back of her neck for a few moments, before she forced her arms to relax again.

... why... why do I feel so... knotted up...?

"... Why can't I just manage... To talk to anyone... without...?" She asked quietly, her voice shaking though she didn't want it to. "... Why was... Coming up with anything... Stringing words together... So fucking hard... S...so complicated...?" Her eyes flashed and she swallowed. "... It didn't... Used to be like this... Did it...? I... I used to..."

Kesu's ears dropped, his head shaking a few times before he pressed his nose up against her arm gently. She sucked in a sharp breath of air and held it, her grey eyes glimmering and holding that breath for what seemed like forever, before letting it back out again.

"... Damn it..."

.:+:.

She grimaced faintly, taking in a big breath of air this time around when her stomach knotted about a million times tighter than before, and she felt almost nauseous for it.

... shit...

"... I used to... be good at talking to people... good at being around them... understanding them... and knowing... what to say... and do... what not to do..." Izaru mumbled, swallowing again while Kazuho listened in stiff silence, her pale yellow eyes gleaming. Izaru shook her head at herself a bit stiffly, her eyes dropping closed as she seemed to straighten, regain herself, or at least try to- and Kazuho swallowed a little herself, stiff in place and grimacing internally for the amount of tension, and sheer, sickening unease there came off of Izaru in that moment, sparking on the air and ramming into Kazuho in heavy, sharp bursts.

It had never been that bad- least of all enough to be felt as clearly like that from nearly across the room. Kazuho wasn't supposed to be able to feel that from this distance, she should have only felt that from Izaru if they were shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand- but no.

... There is so much...

"... I have a question, if you're okay with answering it." Izaru said suddenly, the turn making Kazuho jump a little more and her attention on the emotions dancing on air to shatter a moment.

A question...?

Kazuho shook off her surprise as quickly as she could, nodding slightly. "Go ahead." She hummed and Izaru seemed to fidget slightly, brooding, mulling it over... just trying to find the words.

"... I don't... I don't think I can ask this of anyone else... Shota or... Hizashi... anybody... not without... hurting them by asking it, or making them... ache... thinking about it... more than I already have, with... popping back up all of the sudden..." She murmured after a few long heartbeats, her expression twisting and the spark of unease coming from Izaru growing a tad sharper on Kazuho's senses, and paired this time with what Izaru herself mentioned- ache.

"... but... at the moment this is sticking... and it won't go away... when the Principle was talking earlier, on our way to meet you... he said a lot of things, and I think..." Izaru went on, unaware of the way Kazuho seemed to grimace just then. Izaru broke off for a second or two, her shoulders sinking and her eyes dropping, along with her voice.

"... do you think I need to be saved?"

Kazuho went stiff as a board in an instant, yellow eyes widening and stunned at what a completely unexpected question it was- like incredibly unexpected actually.

"... Saved...?" The older woman echoed breathlessly, and Izaru nodded stiffly, and only once. "... did... Nezu say that..?" Kazuho asked, and Izaru paused, shaking her head slowly.

"... no, he didn't say that exactly... but I think... it sounded almost like... that might have been what he was implying." Izaru replied softly, "... I asked him why he agreed to let me come to UA... and one of the things he said... he said 'that is our way as Heroes'... isn't it the way of Heroes... to save people...?" She asked, and Kazuho's generally tranquil expression twisted slightly, her eyes flashing.

"... do you think you need to be saved, Izaru?" Kazuho asked gently, and Izaru stiffened at the question, her eyes trailing sideways toward the older woman and almost cautiously so. "I don't have an answer to that question of my own, and to be honest... I think the only answer to that question that matters, is your own, Izaru. So... do you think you need to be saved...?"

Izaru faltered, and she didn't know why- because the answer?

She knew what her answer was right away. She knew what the answer was, and she knew why it was that answer... but she couldn't say it, and she didn't know why.

... Do I think... I need to be saved...?

Her expression twisted, so much so it wasn't just little bits of unease- it was clear as a bell and her hands in her jacket pockets clenched into fists so hard she trembled. Her entire stomach flipped, icy cold rushing through her veins and making her tremble a bit more, and her heart... it twisted, so, so badly, and she had to swallow hard against it.

Kazuho's own face fell, her eyes glinting and holding her breath against the sheer turmoil and utter resignation all bundled into one that was coming off Izaru in waves. She did not need to see Izaru to know the younger was shaking faintly now, her eyes stuck to the floor, and utterly unmoving.

... I... I think...

.:+:.

"... ah, good morning, Izaru..." All Might hummed, smiling faintly as he caught sight of the woman standing off to the side of the stage, the courtyard empty and almost like a ghost-town outside of herself, the (former) No. 1, and Cementoss, Nezu and Kazuho several dozen feet away talking to themselves (though All Might only registered Izaru being around really).

All Might's voice broke Izaru out of her thoughts rather abruptly, snapping her from the edge of that pit lurking in her mind- and the pit that was all the more fervent today in clawing at her with what had been said, asked... realized...

She jumped a little, her eyes darting up from having been stuck to the ground for who knows how long. All Might faltered at the very noticeable reaction, his smile fading to none in an instant, and growing uneasy in a heartbeat- while Izaru cursed herself in her head for it.

... damn it, what is wrong with me...?

"A... Are you alright...?" He asked quickly and she nodded, her eyes darting away from him and falling closed.

"... I'm fine, I was just... brooding..." She mumbled quietly and he blinked at the answer, his head tilting and looking like he wanted to question it further- because though she jumped, and whatever little unease he'd seen in her for one or two seconds was gone already, he did not think she was actually 'fine'. He paused, grimacing faintly to himself, but he let it go- she clearly didn't seem to want to talk about it, and he wasn't sure pressing it was the best idea... so though it was hard for him to let it be, he did.

"... alright, well... ah, you're here early." He murmured, changing the subject quickly and Izaru nodded slightly, her eyes opening again to cast him a glance. "The Assembly doesn't start for another hour and a half at least." He pointed out and she nodded,

"I know, but I was with the Principle earlier... we went to go meet the new Staff Member he's introducing to the school today, along with me..." Izaru replied quietly, "I was with her until a bit ago... and I have nowhere else to be so I was just... waiting around I guess." She mumbled and he nodded a little,

"I see." He murmured, smiling slightly. "So you've met the new Counselor already? I was kinda hoping to catch her myself and make introductions before the Assembly got under way, actually." He told her and Izaru blinked,

"... well she's over talking with... Cementoss and the Principle-" Izaru started, her hand lifting out of her pocket to gesture that way and behind him a little, but she got cut off before she ever even started the motion, and her voice died out too.

"To-shi-no-riiiii~! Is that your voice I hear~?"

Both Izaru and All Might went rigid at the sudden call and voice, his name sounding behind him and in an almost disturbingly sweet way that was not at all... sweet. It kind of had an edge to it, and Izaru and the No. 1 looked a little uneasy for it, though All Might was much more so uneasy looking than Izaru. In fact, he went from looking surprised, to uneasy, and then even unnerved- and there was a a flash of realization and even disbelief that ran across his face, and Izaru stared slightly at it, not sure...?

All Might turned to the voice, still stiff and moving almost jarringly as he got all the way rotated and his blue eyes landed on the owner of that voice who said his name in such an odd manner, Izaru tilting slightly to peer around the blonde and see too.

Kazuho had come up behind the blonde without him or Izaru noticing, her lips a thin line and looking mostly calm- though frankly she looked sort of not pleased, and Izaru still wasn't sure why...?

All Might bristled though, jumping back an inch or two and instantly on high alert- though he seemed to be stumbling for words and proper air the minute he lay eyes on Kazuho. He fumbled, hands fidgeting slightly and looking ruffled, and Izaru's head tilted further at it, completely lost.

A..ah...?

Why does he look... freaked out...?

"Oh that must be you, I only know one person that tall." Kazuho commented dryly with a wave of her hand his way, and All Might stiffened at it, his mouth slightly agape still as he continued to try and come up with the words- and then did.

"R-Rai-chan..?!" All Might finally managed to stammer something out, and Izaru blinked, her eyes widening slightly at the nickname and not expecting it at all from the blonde. Kazuho herself seemed faintly surprised by it, but for only a small second, and then she just smiled wryly, her hands falling on her hips as she stopped right in front of the ruffled No. 1.

Rai-chan...?

"Wow, I'm actually surprised you even remember me Toshinori." Kazuho hummed, though rather flatly, and the blonde stiffened at it, looking increasingly more flustered now rather than ruffled. And Izaru watched silently, shifting herself a little to the left so get a better view of the other woman around Toshinori's tall figure. Her hands wrung together in front of her rather subconsciously, her head tilting further and grey eyes glittering as she looked on, her thoughts quickly trying to make sense of... all of it.

... so they... know each other...?

I suppose... they do seem about the same age... does that mean... they were at UA... around the same time then...?

... but why does Toshinori look... flustered...?

Izaru's eyes narrowed slightly, chewing on the insides of her cheeks.

... did he really not realize... it was Kazuho coming to join UA...? And that he... knew her...?

"... O-of course I remember you..!" Toshinori stammered quickly, but Kazuho just smiled flatly still.

"Oh? Well, you can't blame me for wondering- you did drop out of existence and hop off to America without a word, and never talked to me again afterwards." Kazuho pointed out levelly, and Toshinori faltered at it, wilting a little as his head bowed suddenly, his hands clapping together in front of him in apology.

"... I'm sorry, I know it's been forever... I know I never called you, I meant to I just... Ah..." He mumbled quickly, breaking off a bit and lowering his head a bit more, and a bit more nervously too- because he hadn't any actual answer or reason why, or even a really good excuse, and he knew it... Well, his actual excuse for it and running off was because of what had happened with Nana, but he couldn't voice it. Even just thinking on it briefly made his stomach churn and he faded into silence rather quickly, with both Izaru and Kazuho instantly aware of the change in mood (though only Izaru knew the full reason why).

Kazuho's sort of flat, sort of wry smile softened, her yellow eyes flashing behind her glasses and letting out a small breath- she felt the unease spark off Toshinori there, and the hurt, and she knew she probably ought to stop with the line of thought... Which was fine, because she wasn't actually mad or anything- and that became instantly clear when her hand lift off her hip and she tapped the side of it gently against the top of the blonde's lowered head.

Toshinori stiffened at it, jumping a little at the unexpected gesture and Izaru even faltered a bit at it herself because... well it was sort of an odd thing, a very friendly sort of thing- and it honestly wasn't something Izaru expected from the woman, based on what little she'd come to know her that morning. And more so, it was a little more odd of a gesture being done onto Toshinori- who most people wouldn't ever even dare even think about conking him on the head like that, regardless of how gentle and nonthreatening it was.

"Relax Toshi, I'm just giving you a hard time." Kazuho murmured, her hand pulling away while Toshinori straightened his head a bit, his hands lowering slightly too and blue eyes gleaming. He smiled faintly, apologetically still, as she straightened up again all the way and he let out a breath.

"Right..." He mumbled, "... Though, I am sorry for not keeping in touch Rai, really... It's been... eh, a really long time, huh...?" He added, his palms still pressed together apologetically for a few seconds, his head tilting with a sort of flustered smile. "I am surprised to see you though, I didn't realize you were the one the Principle had brought in..." He admitted, and Kazuho shook her head at him.

"Of course you didn't." She quipped back with ease and he just smiled at it, looking a touch embarrassed. Kazuho's hand lift to push her glasses down her nose and to a spot they wouldn't really do much good, not that she cared- and Toshinori perked at it, his head tilting further in intrigue as the accessory finally seemed to register for him.

"Since when do you wear glasses, Rai..?" He mumbled curiously, and Kazuho paused, her expression softening a little as her shoulders sagged a tiny bit.

"... since I can't see anything anymore." She replied softly, "The glasses don't even really do much, truth be told... You and everyone else are just big, dark, bulky shadows in a slightly less dark world. The glasses sharpen things only a bit, but generally it doesn't make much a difference." She explained and Toshinori's face fell almost right away, bristling slightly as the information sunk in, and Izaru blinked, her eyes moving away from Kazuho and the (former) No. 1 altogether.

... So I was right about that... Kazuho can't really see anything...

... that's why she never looks anyone in the eye... and said she'd have trouble with the halls in the school... and needed help with the furniture placement...

... but Toshinori didn't know about it... so she wasn't born that way...?

Toshinori's hand fidgeted, reaching out for Kazuho almost hesitantly, before he seemed to realize what he was doing and he stopped himself- but Kazuho seemed all too aware of it, and she smiled slightly, her hands moving off her hips to catch his up with absolute ease. Izaru's attention shift toward the two again at that, quiet.

"Hmm, don't get all worked up okay? You don't need to be so tense about it." Kazuho told him and Toshinori seemed to swallow slightly,

"... but what happened...?" Toshinori asked slowly, and Kazuho shook her head at it.

"I'll tell you, eventually." She hummed, "We have plenty to catch up on anyway, so we'll get to it when we do that. Just not right now, okay?" She told him, and the No. 1 seemed to hesitate, before nodding slightly.

"Okay."

Kazuho smiled a little more, releasing the blonde's hands and stepping back a pace, her arms opening up and eyes dropping closed with a slightly weary look on her face. Toshinori stalled at the gesture, looking a little lost for a moment, before it seemed to dawn on him what it was meant to mean and he grinned. He shot up, bulking on a ton of weight in the blink of an eye as he moved into his Muscle Form for a few seconds, and then promptly swept Kazuho up in his arms with extreme ease, hugging her.

Izaru's eyes widened slightly, watching as he spun around once with Kazuh trapped in his grip, smiling still even as he set her down again. And those few seconds were all he had of being big and tall, before he shrunk down again out of his Muscle Form and coughed a bit, but smiled nonetheless even as he caught his breath again. Kazuho held on to his elbows for a few seconds, looking amused and weary all at once.

Izaru's neutral expression softened slightly at the sight of it, her grey eyes gleaming as she let out a quiet breath, the churning and knotting of her core fading a little.

She'd sort of been forgotten entirely by the two of them (clearly), but honestly she didn't really care, she was fine to not be a party to the conversation... and she didn't blame either for getting distracted or anything either, because clearly there was something there, and she had no place in it- and that was okay. She was fine to just let them be.

Izaru's eyes dropped to the ground, turning slightly from them and moving away a few paces, the edge of her lips pulling ever so faintly, and for only a second as she cast the two a last, fleeting look over her shoulder.

... Toshinori seems... really happy to see her...

She let out a small, sort of amused, and sort of content breath of air and looked away. She started to walk, intent to find herself a quiet corner out of everybody's way, her hands moving up out of her jacket pockets as she went and arms crossing over her chest, shoulders sinking a little.

She managed to walk away about two dozen feet or so before drawing to a halt, her eyes shifting left and finding a familiar head of black hair headed her way. Shota had his hands in his pants pockets and chin buried in the Capturing Device settled on his shoulders, and upon seeing her he'd started heading over right away. Izaru's eyes flashed slightly as she caught sight of him, her expression neutral again and quiet as he made his way slowly up to her, clearing the distance left between them and then drew to a halt himself. His eyes darted over her person quickly when he did, narrowing as he seemed to let out a small sigh, and she just blinked at it.

"... Did you get any sleep last night?" Aizawa asked dryly, and she paused at the question, causing him to grumble a bit for the lack of a response. "You look exhausted." He pointed out lowly, and she shook her head a little, her eyes doing what his had- darting over his person, though a bit more slowly.

"... so do you." She replied softly, and he seemed to frown a bit indignantly to the mention of it. He looked away from her rather quickly and Izaru's head tilted half an inch for it, her eyes narrowing and biting the inside of her cheek. "... Did I wake you up, when I texted you earlier?" She asked after a moment, and though he did his best not to, he stiffened a little more at the question. But hell, how could she have come to that conclusion, and almost instantly?

"... I'm sorry..." Izaru told him quietly, her eyes falling closed and he looked her way again slowly, his lips pulling into a thin line and watching her intently... because she seemed almost guilty now, and enough so he could see it.

But why would she feel any sort of guilty about something as trivial as unintentionally waking him up...? It wasn't a huge issue, and certainly not something to get upset over... well, not enough that he could see it in her face-

He paused, his eyes narrowing to slits and quiet for a few seconds as he simply watched her, and she stood there, stiff, silent, unmoving... tense and uneasy, he could see it, just like the guilt, and he swallowed.

... no, that wasn't it. It wasn't about waking him up.

He didn't get it, but her saying sorry just then... he almost got the impression she was apologizing for something else entirely, and his stomach churned at the thought.

"... Aneko." Aizawa murmured lowly and she glanced his way quickly, grey eyes glittering for the sudden and unexpected voicing of her first name- he rarely said it, even when they were alone. So him doing it now instantly had her at attention, question flitting across her face and more so when she realized his eyes were stuck steadily on to her, and looking so... intent, and searching.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly, still searching and she blinked at the question, her expression falling slightly.

... is it... that noticeable...?

She bit down on the inside of her cheek for half a second, before forcing a quiet breath and nodding slowly.

"... yeah." She mumbled, casting a small, fleeting look that was not all that convincing his way, nor was the tone of her voice- and he seemed to grimace faintly for it. And she noticed it, of course she did, and she sighed a bit more heavily this time.

... damn it...

.:+:.

"... do you think I need to be saved?"

"... Saved...?" The older woman echoed breathlessly, and Izaru nodded stiffly, and only once. "... did... Nezu say that..?" Kazuho asked, and Izaru paused, shaking her head slowly.

"... no, he didn't say that exactly... but I think... it sounded almost like... that might have been what he was implying." Izaru replied softly, "... I asked him why he agreed to let me come to UA... and one of the things he said... he said 'that is our way as Heroes'... isn't it the way of Heroes... to save people...?" She asked, and Kazuho's generally tranquil expression twisted slightly, her eyes flashing.

"... do you think you need to be saved, Izaru?" Kazuho asked gently, and Izaru stiffened at the question, her eyes trailing sideways toward the older woman and almost cautiously so. "I don't have an answer to that question of my own, and to be honest... I think the only answer to that question that matters, is your own, Izaru. So... do you think you need to be saved...?"

Izaru faltered, and she didn't know why- because the answer?

She knew what her answer was right away. She knew what the answer was, and she knew why it was that answer... but she couldn't say it, and she didn't know why.

... Do I think... I need to be saved...?

Her expression twisted, so much so it wasn't just little bits of unease- it was clear as a bell and her hands in her jacket pockets clenched into fists so hard she trembled. Her entire stomach flipped, icy cold rushing through her veins and making her tremble a bit more, and her heart... it twisted, so, so badly, and she had to swallow hard against it.

... I... I think...

.:+:.

... I think... I might have given up on the idea of being saved... A long time ago...

She bit the inside of her cheek, the answer running through her mind now where she hadn't let it before, or since the question had been posed. She hadn't let herself think it, but even so she knew the answer all the same. And it was that one- that was the answer, and for some reason... It sounded sad in her own head, and she couldn't understand why.

The answer wasn't a yes, or a no... it was just, sort of... indifferent.

She didn't mean to think about it again, and especially not right at that moment- but she couldn't help it... because her not sounding convincing was partly because of it, that question, and that answer... and what she realized now, because of it, and had been brooding about too- like she told Toshinori a bit ago.

She didn't mean to think about it, but there it was, constant and nagging... and maybe slowly, she was kind of processing it a little more. And a little more just in that moment too, even if she'd not wanted to touch it right then.

... I... do think I gave up on the idea... way back... when... I was there... at the Pit...

... But... even so...

She forced a breath, her shoulders falling slightly and her eyes too for just a moment- and Aizawa blinked slowly, his eyes glinting as she seemed to fall into her own head there, and somehow... the tension in her? It was fading, just a little, and all of a sudden- but he couldn't fathom why, or even how.

Izaru's eyes opened halfway, stuck to her feet and glittering.

... Even if I gave up on the idea... that doesn't mean... I won't... try...

... try and let... everyone do what they will... or can... or even... try and save me... if that's the plan... or intention...

... even if I don't believe in the idea... of being saved myself... that... doesn't mean... I won't... at least try...

... I'm... okay... at least... I'm okay with the idea of... trying...

... to try and see... if maybe...

Something clicked, just then... somewhere in her head, it was like a neuron, or synapse, or something- it managed to connect, and to fire, where it had been failing to, and been torn apart. Something clicked, and it was honestly one of the best feelings she'd ever felt- something made some sort of sense, something settled in her mind and being that was so fractured and strewn apart.

She picked up a piece and stuck it back in the whole, before she ever knew what she was doing. It wasn't a big piece, and it wasn't even much compared to the millions of minuscule shards scattered all around, broken off from her... but it was something.

A start maybe... and maybe it wouldn't be the last piece picked up, and glued back together.

... Maybe... but for today, and right now...

"... I'm alright." Izaru repeated again, a bit more levelly this time. "... I'm okay, Shota... I've just... got a lot on my mind today..." She told him softly, shaking herself out a little and straightening just a tad. "... but I am okay... at least... for right now. And after that... I don't know... but..." She murmured, her voice breaking off for a moment and he swallowed slightly at the last bit- 'I don't know'

That made his soul ache so, so badly- to hear her say that. And it ached worse, because he knew there couldn't have been any other answer, or reality than that-

The sun broke passed the tops of the surrounding school buildings just then, spilling into the courtyard that had been trapped in shadow- the morning setting in deeper and washing over them with pale, shimmering yellow. Izaru smiled faintly, a ghost of it on her lips and much more somber than she probably intended- but her eyes came up to meet him at last, steady... and the way they gleamed with the sunlight washing over them...?

Those grey eyes he didn't quite recognize suddenly glittered an believable golden color and he stalled.

"... But I am trying." She told him gently, the thoughts running through his head shattering in a single instant. He froze, his eyes widening, and for a moment he sort of forgot to breathe... and for just a split second, they weren't there.

For a single second, they got thrust back through time and space and he was standing there with her at the entrance of the train station, the setting sun spilling behind her as she turned to him, shimmering slightly off her silvery, lavender-hued hair...

... She turned back toward him, her blue eyes shinning as she gave him a smile- a genuine, soft, thankful little smile- the first real smile he had ever seen from her, ever.

"Thank you for talking with me, it's nice to have someone who gets it." She told him gently, nodding a bit as her eyes shone. "You're a great friend, you know that? You care more than you let on, and you're ridiculously patient too- and even with that stony exterior you put up, you're incredibly kind."

His heart felt like it skipped a beat, his stomach squirming slightly in a sudden rush of emotion he didn't get- and that same sudden pang in him he hadn't ever felt since.

... and he felt it again, just in that moment.

The sudden jerk into the memory went just as quickly as it came, and he landed back again in real-time, and reality- with Izaru still smiling faintly at him... it wasn't bright, it was small, and sort of sad, but even then... it was real, and so was what she said.

I'm trying

His lips pulled into a tight line, his hands twitching slightly at his sides as he buried his chin in his Capture Device, and his eyes softened.

Words could not describe how hard he had to try to keep his hands from moving from his sides, or keep himself from moving at all, just then. He nearly did it, was a heartbeat away from it- but his mind invaded at the last millisecond and reminded him of rationality, and patience... So he stopped himself, even though it took everything in that moment.

Aizawa nodded slightly, his face still halfway buried in the grey tendrils wrapped about his neck and shoulders, and expression softening a tad more behind them- while he stuffed his hands in his pockets, intending to leave them there for as long as it took the need, and want, to move to go away entirely.

Maybe tomorrow she wouldn't be okay, maybe she would... but that was tomorrow, and for today?

Today she was okay... today she was alright, and it didn't matter what tomorrow brought- because as long as she was trying... that was all he, or anyone could ask.

Rationally, not everyday would be okay... so many wouldn't be, and he knew that. He accepted that, and he was ready for that- for any day after this, good, or bad... But of course, that didn't stop him from hoping tomorrow would be good, and everyday afterward.

There was nothing wrong with hoping, not as long as it wasn't blind hope... not even when hope was irrational.

... maybe this... this doesn't have to be rational all the time... So please... Let tomorrow be okay too...

... And maybe it wasn't so much a hope, really- it was perhaps something even less rational... something he never did, but... maybe this was that.

A wish

He bit the inside of his cheek, eyes gleaming as Izaru nodded back to him, and the smile she had stayed for a few heartbeats longer, and that seemed to stretch to a million years, and his eyes never left her for even a second.

Yeah... a wish.

... So irrational or not... please... let her have as many okay, and even good days, as humanly possible... she's had more than her fair share of bad... so please... for her.

Let tomorrow be okay... and eventually, let everything be okay... no matter how long it takes.

---

Hello everyone!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter, there wasn't so much action as there was exposition, mulling, brooding, setting things up- and starting to move toward getting Izaru some help, and process some things too?

Forgive me all the jumping around in this chapter, but I hope it was a good read nonetheless!

(also no joke if poor bb Aizawa hadn't had the rational side of his brain tell him not to move, he 100% was gonna just... hold her, hug her, maybe something else he wasn't sure? XD Shhhhhh not yet... lol)

Anyway, thank you guys for all the support! And HUGE thanks to Sygn for donating to my Ko-Fi, and all the wonderful things you said about this story and Izaru! QwQ

Please, follow, fav, and Review if you can! Thanks!