Chapter 34: Anxiety and Techniques
Sorry for the short break in updates I took. Between doing mountains of personal paperwork and my carpal tunnel acting up pretty damn badly, I didn't have the time or energy to provide a new chapter. But, we can put that to rest for now. And it's not like it'll matter past this update, anyway. I just felt the need to let you all know, just in case you were curious. Although, be aware that if I take any more time to update in the future, it's probably for those reasons again. Anyway, let's get back to the story!
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Bernadetta felt like she wanted to die. Granted, that was hardly new for her, considering she felt that nearly every time she had been made to show up to her classes. However, most of the time it simply was just a feeling, nothing more. This time though, it felt like there was a real chance of her finally expiring.
The schedule for the Black Eagles that week placed a real emphasis on training for the upcoming Battle of the Eagle and Lion. That meant that Edelgard had mandated that much of their free study period was to be used for heading over to the dueling grounds as a class and testing their skills in combat, either among one another or with any of the other knights or students there at the moment. Not only would Bernadetta not be able to work on her manuscript in peace, but there was a very real chance of her randomly being asked to fight someone else. To make matters even worse, her most direct escape route out of the dueling area was cut off by the presence of that Monica girl, who was leaning against the doorway with a look of apparent glee at watching the fighters, more specifically Edelgard and Ferdinand, duel one another. There was no way that Bernie would be able to make it past such a creepy, scary girl.
So, all Bernie could do sit on one of the far benches in a corner of the arena, wearing her hood up to be as inconspicuous as possible. As much as she did her best to remain practically unseen, that didn't stop her hands from trembling as she pulled a wrapped bundle out of the satchel by her side, unwrapped it to reveal a small meat pie, and promptly shoved most of it in her mouth to hopefully eat the stress away. It didn't work, but at least the spices baked into the pie alongside the sweet pork contents made for a tasty snack. But flavor didn't get her anywhere close to feeling calm. Food wasn't an entirely iron-clad stress reduction technique.
There was a lump in her throat, although Bernie wasn't sure if it was her nerves getting to her, or if it was the large wad of meat and baked dough sliding its way down her throat at the moment. Whatever it was, it was unpleasant. There really was nothing positive about being forced to surround herself with violence. Why was the Battle of the Eagle and Lion so important, anyway? A school tradition could not have been so important as to make someone like her be a part of it. Sure, she has shown some proficiency with a bow when she was forced to attend combat classes, but it wasn't a skill she actively sought out. Bernie preferred the feathers in her hands to be writing quills rather than the fletching of arrows.
Bernie sighed to herself as she finished up her small meat pie and tossed the wrapper at her feet. If she was lucky, she would be able to remain unnoticed, like a rabbit hiding in the underbrush. But, if she was going to be honest with herself, Bernadetta felt that a lot of her time at the Officer's Academy had been mired with bad luck. Between being dumped off there in a burlap sack, getting repeatedly forced out of her room by students and professors, and just being surrounded by fairly violent people in general, it could hardly be said that her experiences were entirely good.
Of course, that wasn't to say that there weren't some good points too. The Dining Hall made superb food, her dorm room was nice and cozy, the greenhouse had all a manner of interesting flowers, and of course there was Sylvain. Out of all those things, Sylvain was the best one. The idea of being with him made the idea of staying around at Garreg Mach Monastery almost bearable, at least more bearable than earlier in the semester. Because of that, there was a certain level of ambivalence towards her academic career thus far.
It was at that moment that a horrible thought occurred to Bernie. Would she have to fight Sylvain during the Battle of the Eagle and Lion? Oh, now that was a dreadful thought.
"Oh goddess, would he really hurt me? Or wait, would I accidentally hurt him?! Gah, I can't stand either one!" the Varley girl whined in her head. She clutched her head in panicked thought.
She would probably have to attack somebody if she was made to fight in the massive mock battle. Maybe. It was a possibility if the hiding spot she would inevitably seek out would be found. And in that case, it was a bit more acceptable to fight back in self-defense. But the very thought of having to fight Sylvain specifically shook Bernie to her core. She knew she didn't have it in her heart to pull a bowstring on the man she loved, but Lady Edelgard might demand it of her. And who would she, Bernadetta von Varley, be to disobey the order of the future Empress? If it came down to it, Bernie felt that she might need to just throw herself onto Sylvain's weapon if they met, so that the entire conflict could be side-stepped entirely. He would get a 'kill' and she wouldn't have to keep on fighting. It would probably work out, right?
As she was fretting over the possibility of hurting Sylvain, Bernadetta then felt a person sit on the same wooden bench as her. Oh no, her personal space had been invaded! Bernie could only hesitantly look past the fringe of her hood to see who it was.
Bernadetta couldn't put a name to the face, but she somewhat recognized the rather unimpressed-looking man next to her. His dark blue hair had been pulled back and tied with a string, and his rather fox-like amber eyes kept on scanning the battleground before them, as if he was intensely studying some competition. But to Bernie, the most threatening thing about him was that he was holding his sheathed sword in his lap, as if he was ready at any moment to spring out of his seat and attack someone. That man just exuded danger, so much so that Bernie felt that she needed to get away, lest her life be at stake!
"Oh, uh, excuse me…" Bernadetta murmured as she stood up and tried to walk away.
"No, it's fine," replied the man. "I wasn't planning on staying here long anyway."
"O-ohh…" Bernie stammered. Things were getting bad, now his attention was right on her!
"You're Bernadetta von Varley, right?" the dark blue-haired man then asked.
"H-how do you know that name?!" Bernie shrieked in shock.
The swordsman raised an eyebrow slightly. "You attend the Officer's Academy. I'd at least have some idea of who the people here are."
"W-well, I have no idea who you are!" shot back Bernie in a panic.
"Felix Fraldarius," he introduced himself, crossing his arms across his chest. "Seriously, do you not pay attention to the people here?"
Bernie felt herself being taken utterly aback. For her killer to introduce himself so casually must've meant that he was confident that he could end her life. The sheer boldness of his introduction proved it. She needed to get away, now!
"I'm sorry!" Bernie than said, before then promptly breaking into a sprint towards the arena's exit. It didn't even matter if Monica was in the way, she was less scary than Felix menacing her directly. She damn near bowled over the creepy girl too on the way out. Although Bernie didn't get to see her reaction to it, she had no doubt that she would be angry and want to kill her too. Oh well, she could only deal with one assassin at a time.
Bernadetta's legs managed to take her over to the hallway between the various House classrooms before the rest of her body sent signals that she was about to puke up her pork pie. It felt like the wad of food she just consumed was about to explode out of her esophagus. Damn, she hadn't accounted for her recent meal before her escape!
Unfortunately for her, Bernie had no choice but to lean against the stone wall and rest a bit. But, at least there was a fair amount of distance put between herself and the horrifying marauding assassin named Felix.
Or, so she thought, but those hopes were dashed when Felix walked directly up to her about two minutes later, his sword hung from his belt and a bag in his hand.
The sight of him made Bernie freeze in place. "Oh no. It's Felix," she thought aloud to herself. "He's coming right at me. If I run, he'll chase me. Maybe if I just hold really, really still..."
Bernadetta vaguely recalled something in a book about predators not being able to see prey if they stood still, as if their vision relied on movement. That was the faint hope she clung to as she promptly pressed her body up against the wall, freezing in place with a scared expression on her face as she held her breath.
The book's information immediately proved itself to be a lie when Felix, not fooled by the masterful technique of standing completely still, stopped in front of Bernie and folded his arms, staring directly at her. He didn't say anything, instead just choosing to look at Bernie directly in the eyes with a confused and anticipatory expression. On her part, Bernadetta only stared back, transfixed like a moth to a flame by fear.
"…Ahem," fake-coughed Felix, trying to get a reaction.
"Whatever it is, I didn't do it! I swear! Unless I'm offending you just by standing here?!" the poor Varley girl got out quick, still stuck against the wall.
Felix rolled his eyes before thrusting the familiar-looking bag at Bernie. "No. Here. I believe this is yours."
It took a moment for Bernadetta to process what Felix was saying. But now that he mentioned it, that bag that he was holding out looked rather familiar. "Huh? Oh. Yeah, that's my satchel. Wait, wh-where did you get that?!"
"Stop asking questions and just take it," Felix groaned. It was apparent that his patience was starting to wear thin.
Bernadetta blinked rapidly in terror as she registered the tone of Felix's voice. He was going to kill her, no doubt about it! "No! Trap! It's a trap!"
"Why are you acting like this?" asked Felix, now sounding mildly befuddled and exasperated.
That made Bernie somehow even feel more on edge than before. She had no idea what Felix's game was, except it was scaring her even further. Her heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was going to explode out of her chest and coat Felix in a shower of gore and blood. That's what he wanted, wasn't it?! "Acting?! Does this terror on my face look fake to you?!" she then loudly screeched.
At that, Felix bluntly stated to Bernie, "You're being difficult. Come on, this is yours."
"I can't! Your icy glare has frozen me completely!" she then loudly admitted. Whoops, that part wasn't supposed to come out. Great, now she was scared and embarrassed for herself. That as hardly a good combination.
"Shut up!" Felix commanded, his patience just about shattered. "Just take the thing."
The stern authority broke Bernadetta. It reminded her too much of her past. So, she did exactly as she did back at home: begged for her life. "No! P-please don't kill me!"
Felix took his sword off of his belt, and held it out rather confusedly. "What? Who's going to—" he began, before being cut off.
Felix's words didn't matter to Bernie at that moment. All that was clear in her mind was the deadly weapon that was now suddenly in her assailant's hand. "Sword! He's got a sword! Aaaah!"
Her body reacting out of sheer instinct, Bernadetta sprung out of her frozen position and struck towards Felix in a desperate attempt to defend herself in any way possible. Felix was visibly taken aback by Bernie suddenly leaping at him, which allowed the Varley girl to accidentally shoulder-check the swordsman while also batting away his sword arm. With Felix sent off-balance, Bernadetta's flailing arms missed their intended targets, instead hitting both the lower end of the sword from one direction and his wrist from the other. It was only at most thirty seconds of movement, but in that short period of time Bernie had semi-accidentally set Felix on his back foot while also disarming him.
"My sword!" exclaimed Felix, all of a sudden feeling something approaching admiration mixed with shock. "How did you—"
"I can't do this anymore!" Bernie screamed as she ran off, bounding away even faster and farther than previously. Before Felix could fully register it, the Varley girl was completely out of sight, and he had no idea where she went.
With a small sigh, Felix reattached his sword to his belt. "What an odd girl. But she's certainly caught my attention. I've never seen that technique before…" he mused out loud. Such an unarmed disarming technique was quite fascinating. Was it from some foreign fighting style he wasn't aware of? If so, he would need to learn the source of the move at once. That move very well could prove to be beneficial at the upcoming Battle of the Eagle and Lion.
As he considered those future prospects, Felix began to walk back towards the arena grounds. However, he then felt a weight bump into one of his legs. He looked down to see that the culprit was Bernadetta's satchel, the strap still clutched in his grasp. "Oh. I still have to give this back to her," Felix noted to himself, shrugging.
Oh well, it would just be a reason to try and talk to Bernadetta again. Learning that technique was paramount, and Felix wasn't the type to give up on a goal such as that so easily. It was something he was definitely considering as he then went back to what he was doing previously, unaware that he wasn't the only Blue Lions member that now had Bernadetta on the mind.
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And there you have it, I managed to work in Felix and Bernie's C-level support in there. I've been wanting to do that for a while, since it's rather funny. Also, shout-outs to the Fire Emblem wiki for having a transcript of that scene, since it saved me the effort of transcribing it by ear. Saying as someone who had to transcribe all of the dub for Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket by ear for another story on this site, let me tell you that it's a lot of work.
Anyway, this is The Draigg, and I'm signing off on this chapter for now!