AN: Note that I do not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any of the characters from either Anime. This work is a fanfiction written out of my love for the series and not in any attempt to make a profit.

Proofread by: Author and Kyluxia

This chapter dragged on a bit longer and into the next one. Not what I had planned, but it works and was a pleasant surprise. Fun to write.

Chapter 37: Remembrance

While the changes the chakra did to Kushina weren't something Sakura could feel, she could definitely see Kushina's body relax, her breathing becoming just a bit easier. The biggest giveaway was how Kushina exploded in a cloud of smoke, only to reveal what Sakura would assume was an adult Kushina.

As an adult, Sakura wouldn't hesitate to call Kushina beautiful. She had fair skin, a slender body, and a feminine build. Kushina's red hair reached all the way down to her waist, her bangs being kept out of her face with a small hair clip. As for clothes, she was wearing a green dress with a white undershirt, with nothing else seen under the dress, making her look very civilian to Sakura, which she decided made sense, considering that Kushina wouldn't have been on the active Shinobi roster while pregnant. At least not towards the end of her pregnancy, but considering that there had already been peace by the time Kushina became pregnant, Sakura didn't think that there would have been a need for her to remain active despite her pregnancy. It was only something that might happen during war-time after all.

"So, what now?" Sakura asked, wondering what Kushina had planned beyond stabilizing herself.

Kushina blinked in confusion for a moment, before realization dawned on her and she replied. "Oh… I don't actually know. I hadn't planned this far." She admitted.

Sakura accepted the fact with a nod, having expected it, considering that Kushina had been less than rational previously, and uncertain if she would even be able to retain her existence for much longer. "Perhaps we should simply talk? I know that Naruto, my sister, and I are all wondering about you, and your husband, who Jiraiya hasn't really gotten permission to talk about yet." Sakura informed Kushina, who frowned but nodded at the information. "Or, perhaps you could tell us more about the conversion seal you're using to sustain yourself? I'm certain that we can improve it, between my sister, Jiraiya, Fezā, you and our chakra, it shouldn't be impossible to create the kind of seal from it that we need." Sakura said, hopeful about learning what Kushina had to offer. Unfortunately, Kushina simply kept frowning, before eventually outright glaring at Sakura who suddenly felt very nervous, as Kushina began giving out the vibe of a very pissed-off parent.

"Perhaps, first we can discuss your behavior towards my little Naruto," Kushina suggested, making Sakura wince.

Although Sakura was certain that she didn't have an option in the matter, she was slightly annoyed with the fact that Heikō had given Kushina all of their memories concerning Naruto, including some that Sakura dearly wished she could prevent Kushina from seeing, but it appeared it was too late for that now. Besides, keeping Naruto's childhood from Kushina, even if only partially didn't feel right, and Kushina likely would have found out eventually anyway. Fortunately, Kushina didn't seem to hate her. Suggesting that she was already aware of Sakura's regret concerning her behavior back then. Even so, Sakura was well aware that it wasn't something a parent could just let go of and therefore prepared herself for the discussion to come, regretting slightly that Heikō wasn't there to help her out, even if it was more likely for Heikō to have refused to help her just for her own amusement, seeing as how this concerned Sakura alone.

With a sigh, Sakura accepted the inevitable. "Alright, where do you wish to begin?" She asked, knowing that Kushina would have already thought about it, despite the situation she had been in. Naruto had been her primary focus for a long while after all.

"How about we start with your behavior around him before the academy," Kushina suggested, momentarily confusing Sakura as she had to actively search for the memories Kushina was referring to. It wasn't that the memories were harder to find or less clear, but Sakura had been far less focused back then and not yet aware of how remarkable her memory was at the time, making far less use of it. Her memories as a shy, bullied little girl before Ino took her in weren't all that pleasant either, so she had rarely reviewed them, and the memories had fallen out of favor with Heikō and her focusing more on their academy days and everything that came after. Sakura was surprised by the nostalgia she held for the unused memories. She had expected them to mostly be a grim reminder of a childhood she didn't particularly enjoy, but despite being bullied and lonely, the childish joy from the time spent with her family, as well as the little things only a child could find meaning in, they were too precious to ignore. In those memories, Sakura found the earliest memory she had of Naruto.

Sakura's heart skipped a beat as she realized just what the memory was. It had been before Ino had come to her rescue. Naruto had saved her from some bullies. They hadn't been as nasty back then as they had been when they got a bit older, but to the sensitive, shy little girl she had been back then, their words and mockery had hurt worse than a parent's disappointment in her. Naruto had appeared in an attempt to defend her, and Sakura had taken the opportunity to run. Sakura hadn't realized it had been Naruto back then.

The next time she had met Naruto was in the academy. Naruto had approached her, scaring her which had prompted Ino to defend her. In hindsight, it was obvious why Naruto had wanted to interact with her. She had been bullied, and he had likely seen some of himself in her, which had prompted him to step in. Not knowing who she was, he had likely been unable to find her after she had refused to go out for a long time, only eventually leaving her house after her parents convinced her that not everyone was as mean as the children she had first met her first time out of the house.

Since Ino had defended her, Sakura had immediately labeled Naruto a threat. She hadn't even noticed Naruto's confusion or the hurt she could now see in her memory. It made her feel even worse now that she could, even if Naruto seemed to have forgotten it over time, seeing as how it hadn't discouraged him from attempting to make friends with her.

Sakura had eventually seen that Naruto wasn't a threat, but the way her peers had treated him, and his constant attempts to get close to her had annoyed her, and she had begun to see him as an annoyance. It eventually led to her first time hitting him by mistake after he spooked her. Ino had taught her a little for defending herself, and the brat that she was, she was too proud to admit she had hit him on accident, calling him an idiot and telling him that if he didn't leave her alone, she would keep hitting him. While she cringed at her younger self's actions, she did find it slightly humorous as she now in hindsight, saw the psychology behind the situation. The way Sakura had treated him had been negative, but it was also vastly different from anyone else. She could see why he eventually developed a crush on her, despite her violent behavior towards him. It made her regret even more over how things had started between them.

Looking through some more memories, Sakura realized that the reason she hadn't ever been caught in the stigma surrounding Naruto, with exception of the peer pressure of other kids, was because of her own complaints about the boy. Looking for it, she could find people's reactions to whenever she mentioned the boy, including her parents. Sometimes, they looked like they had wanted to say something about him, only to stop themselves as they realized her opinion of the boy wasn't that great. It made her feel sick to see certain people smile. Many of which she had considered nice people. It made her feel nauseous to catch her father smiling like that at one point.

She knew that her parents had changed, but knowing that they too had once been part of the horrible crowd that had left Naruto, a defenseless child to suffer alone for something he hadn't had any control over… It was revolting and made her hate part of her village all over again. Although, in a sense, it didn't actually change much. She already knew how horrible people could be. Civilian or Shinobi, it didn't matter. Bullies were the first to teach her that lesson, it had all simply been downhill since. Ino had likely been the only reason Sakura hadn't eventually grown into a spiteful emo. Ironically, she was also likely the reason she never became friends with Naruto until after graduation. Sakura shuddered at the hypothetical development of her and Naruto if that had come to pass. While Naruto was an eternal ball of sunshine when it came to his personality, as a child, she could easily imagine things going either way. Either Naruto would have become her knight in shining armor, or he would have pulled her into a rather dark and distrustful path. That could have ended very badly. She'd rather not imagine Naruto as anything remotely close to Gaara. She was surprised she hadn't had nightmares about that.

Sakura shuddered as she imagined hearing Fukō chuckling darkly at that thought, putting her on edge. She wasn't certain if she had imagined it, but it would be worth discussing it with Heikō once she had recovered.

Turning her attention back to Kushina, Sakura nodded. "I guess… my best excuse is that I was a kid. I had self-esteem issues, and the way Naruto behaved towards me… I couldn't understand it. He became somewhat of an annoyance, and I eventually found him to be an outlet for my frustration. It made me feel surer of myself, more confident, and in control. I'm… not happy about either of our situations as children. I used to be bullied, and had things gone differently, Naruto would likely have happily become my friend and knight in shining armor. My own cowardice is likely to blame for someone else befriending me first, and I guess that Naruto's reputation when we next met resulted in a wall between us, put there by my other friends and peers. At the time, I couldn't see it. As we grew up, I probably should have looked back and reevaluated things, but Naruto never seemed to change, and I suppose that's why I never took the time to reevaluate him. I have no excuse for continuing to abuse him the way I did. It was a bad habit that I never managed to grow out of until our Chūnin Exams." Sakura admitted while Kushian continued glaring at her in disappointment, before huffing.

"Damn right. You weren't particularly understanding or nice as a brat. But I can see that you had your own issues, and weren't entirely to blame. It's the Hokage and the rest of the village that should have kept your generation from experiencing all that. I'm glad that you're no longer the girl you were back then, but you're not entirely off the hook just yet." Kushina informed Sakura, who nodded in understanding.

"Naruto seems to have had a rather significant crush on you, and while I think you two would have looked cute together, I'm kind of glad that your old self never paid him any attention. I don't like how you treated him, but I can see that those habits of yours wouldn't have just stopped, even if you found that you returned his feelings. You've already managed to make up a lot for how you used to treat him, and I'm glad that you're aware of how unacceptable your behavior towards Naruto used to be." Kushina informed Sakura, finally releasing her glare, smirking instead. "I think that I can accept that you're the first girl he's seen in the buff." Kushina teased, while Sakura blushed and groaned as she realized Kushina had that kind of blackmail on her.

AN: I thought it might be a good idea to look back at the psychology of children and the reasons behind Sakura's personality. Psychology is an incredibly interesting subject, but if I'm being honest, I drew some quick conclusions and assumptions regarding child and personality development here. This has no basis in fact and is pretty much bullshit fill in for what we lack in canon. Sakura's childhood from what we have seen has been a rather cheerful one, but oh god could it have been a horrible one. It's not something you think about, but the life we live as children can have severe consequences. I know I have some issues of my own stemming from my parents' inexperience as parents, since I'm first-born, and they had just moved to a new country before having me. No friends and family close by to help them out. My first language is not their native one, even though we have always spoken it at home, and I am still corrected on it daily. Family life is crazy and difficult. There's no perfect formula for nature versus nurture because you can't control nature, and isolating a child from it, resorting to just nurturing your child away from the world leads to all its own problems, including creating a nature of its own, a toxic one. As much as I want to explore this side of Sakura's childhood, I don't think it would be an enjoyable experience for most readers. Psychology research and experiments are full of horror stories. Knowing about the bystander effect, and just how far people are willing to go against their own morals, just because someone with perceived rank has given an order or permission… It makes you fear and shudder about the idea that you might find yourself in such a mental trap one day, and not even realize it. The human body and mind is a machine. You may have free will, but it was shaped by the world you live in, and the people that surround you.