Chapter 37: Bonus: Anne's Letter or 'Emma' de Bourgh

Bonus Chapter:

Going Home/Anne's Letter or 'Emma' de Bourgh:

After their hasty marriage and the birth of Jane's baby, the Darcys ended up spending a week at Netherfield Park before making their way to Derbyshire.

The time was well spent. It allowed Elizabeth to help her sister for those first couple of days, which allowed Jane much more rest than if it had been her mother attending.

Mrs. Bennet was able to meet all of her new grandsons in those first few days, even her new step-boys who "looked remarkably like their father," she gushed. As soon as the older lady began to complain that she was denied the joy of planning the Darcys marriage, Elizabeth excused herself and her boys from the room to prepare for the three-day journey ahead of them.

Mr. Bennet made time to stop by Netherfield Park most of the days before Elizabeth left. He gratefully accepted the new steward Elizabeth had assigned to help manage Longbourn. The steward would be the one to manage the accounts and distribute the pin money, freeing Mr. Bennet from his wife's nervous fits over money and freeing him to travel to Pemberley. He wished to inspect the claims of a majestic library and witness the loving treatment of his daughter, as well as spend time with the little boys he never had.

Mr. Bennet used the time to acquaint himself with Louie and Bennie, each day seeing even more of his daughter in them, which further attached him.

At last, the Darcy family began their travel northward. The journey was not easy with two small babies and all of their requirements added to the luggage. The usual three days became five as they slowly wound their way toward Pemberley. Finally, around midday on the fifth day, Darcy stopped the carriage on an overlook. He handed Elizabeth out, then each held a baby as they looked down upon their new home.

Elizabeth looked at the house down the drive before her and wondered at the size of it. It seemed much smaller than what Caroline Bingley had claimed, but perhaps she was prone to exaggeration. As Darcy walked around the carriage with Louie, Elizabeth started walking down the drive in front of her with Bennie, grateful for a chance to exercise her legs after spending so much time in a carriage.

"Where are you going?" Darcy asked.

Elizabeth looked at him, then looked at the home before her, then looked back at him. "To our new home," she asked as if the answer was obvious.

Darcy smiled patiently. "Our new home is on the other side." He came to her to guide her around the carriage to the other side. There, on a hill, was not a home, but a castle! She had never dreamed of living in an estate that size! Smiling proudly, he asked, "What do you think?"

She looked at him, still unable to speak for another few moments. Composing herself, she looked again at the estate, then at her husband. "Well. This does explain it."

He drew his brows together in confusion. "Explain what?"

"Your pride. Now that I see this is what you are master of, I understand and can now think perhaps you do not have so much improper pride as I first believed." She smiled as they both returned to the carriage to finish the journey.

The boys and Elizabeth were welcomed into their new home with happiness. The servants rejoiced in meeting the new little masters. The fine boys were the spitting image of their father, though none knew what their mother had looked like as a babe.

Once all were refreshed, cleaned, and settled in, Darcy introduced the boys to their new nurses and refused to relinquish his new wife's attentions for the remainder of the evening.

The next morning, after the parents finished breakfast and the boys were settled, Elizabeth brought the letter Anne had left her to the library. Finding her husband already there, she asked, "Have you read the letter Anne wrote to you?"

"No. There has been no time to give it the proper attention. Have you?"

"No. Breakfast is over. The boys are now sleeping and will be attended nurses when they wake. I thought I would use this time to read it." She lifted the letter indicating her intent. "Today is a month complete that she left us. I feel I must read it and understand her mind before any more time passes."

Twelfth of January

Rosings Park

Dearest Elizabeth,

As you are now reading this letter, it means I have finally been freed from my Earthly constraints. James and I are now bound together in heavenly matrimony and will watch over you and your descendants for eternity.

If all has gone as I planned, you and Darcy should now be married, and you should not have spent any time apart from our child.

I have completed writing letters to all of my friends and family. They will be delivered to the solicitor to be posted after my funeral. Each letter tells of my last and greatest wish—that you will quickly become Darcy's bride and the mother to my child. My letters tell of my greatest fear: that Darcy would end up with one of those ladies who would harm my child while promoting her own children for the inheritance. I have told them of my trust in you. How I know you will love my child and care for its well-being in the same way you will care for your own.

Within days of my funeral, those letters will be spread through London and England. There should be no reason for you to delay the wedding. I have arranged for the special license to be ready, Darcy need only retrieve it from London. My only request: please do not let Mr. Collins marry you. One Darcy wedding is enough for him. I know you will find someone more tasteful to conduct your ceremony.

It is as I promised. You will want for nothing. You will have a husband who loves you dearly, and whom you adore in return. You will have your child. You will be the mistress of a great estate. Your family will be secure. You will want for nothing.

I went to great lengths to give you and Darcy this life. I must be honest, when I first conceived the plan, I wished mainly to push Darcy into a marriage that would give him joy. He has always been kind to me, but it was what he did after James died for which I owe him my largest debt. Though he did not know it at the time, his willingness to listen to and deflect my mother's prattling and planning for our marriage kept her even more insistent that it should happen. It freed me to grieve for James without having to be concerned she would arrange a real marriage to someone who would only wish for my estate.

Mother never learned about my plans with James or the improprieties I took with him. How foolish such proprieties are now that I think of them! Life is too short for such absurdities.

James died five years ago, very close to this time of year. He died on the twenty-eighth day of January, though I did not know of it until the middle of February.

Darcy was here during that time, choosing to interrupt the season and care for Rosings Park early that year. He arrived the day before I learned of James' fate. Mother directed all of her attentions toward him, later attributing my moroseness to his removal. She viewed it as a sign of my attachment to him.

In the chill of February, Darcy himself told me he came to Rosings Park to escape a few particularly predatory women working to either ensnare or entrap him that season. He was but two and twenty and though he enjoyed the attentions of ladies, the forwardness raised his alarm. While he was here, Richard wrote of the tale going around the ton: that those particular ladies had entered into a substantial wager. The one to wed first was offered one prize. The one to wed the largest inheritance was offered another prize. The one to wed the greatest title was to receive the final and most important prize. The women had to be wed by June to receive their rewards.

Disgusted to have been considered for nothing more than a gamble, that his estate was to have been worth no more than the second prize in their game, he refused to return to London that season. Shortly after, his father died.

Because of the help he gave me, I was determined Darcy should have a woman who would care for him and, hopefully, one he could love in return.

At the time, I knew I was ill and would likely not reach the age of thirty years. I knew I would need to find a way to save Rosings Park for my mother.

For the next few years, I prayed to find a solution. I was a faithful correspondent with all of my connections so I would learn of the inner happenings of the great homes of London. I wished to learn about a lovely young lady who might deserve Darcy's hand. At the same time, I was trying to find a way to save Mother. Fortunately, I felt no rush. The lumps James had removed had not returned so I knew God would help me in His time.

After three years of waiting, my mission started to become urgent. I felt the lumps returning. I knew my time was now drawing to a close.

Something happened during that summer. Darcy was upset, as was Georgiana. A few months later, I learned what Wickham had done to Georgiana.

Around that same time, Darcy went to Hertfordshire and I knew my prayers were answered. A letter from Georgiana around that time excitedly named you as someone her brother had mentioned to her. I began to use my connections to try to learn more about you. It was exceedingly difficult, as you were not at all connected to any of the great houses of London. The only thing I learned was that Darcy returned from Hertfordshire significantly affected and morose. My Aunt Eleanor wrote to me of her amusement at the fantastical list of traits he gave to her so he could finally find a wife. I knew those traits must be yours, but learning more about you or your family? Nigh on impossible.

Imagine my surprise when our latest parson mentioned he would inherit an estate in Hertfordshire. And my further surprise when the last name of Bennet was attached to that same estate. When he told of five unmarried daughters rumored to be of exceptional beauty, I felt confident God had finally given me the connection I needed to ferret you out. Collins knew very little beyond the entail and the five daughters. I had my mother order him to offer an olive branch to the family by marrying one of the daughters. There were five of you for the parson to choose from, it seemed improbable that he would choose the same lady that Darcy would wish for.

Collins returned from his trip to Longbourn with both a great deal of information and a betrothal, though not to one of the Bennets. I was first dismayed, but when I learned Mrs. Collins was your friend and that you planned a visit in the spring, which would overlap Darcy's own Easter visit, I knew again to trust in the Higher Powers. Mrs. Collins was a wealth of information, and as she spoke of you and your situation, God opened my mind and showed me the way.

When I finally met you, I knew I had been right to trust in God's will. You were the one I wished for Darcy to have because you were the one that would make him happy, you were likely to be able to deliver me an heir, and you will be an excellent mother. I also knew Darcy would likely not offer for you because of his damnable devotion to duty. Your family had no connections and had little wealth. That was easily fixed by him marrying me. He fulfilled that obligation to marry an heiress and thus be free to marry you when I die.

But how to ensure he was well connected to you and you to him? Solving that problem solved my other problem. Mrs. Collins told me you were facing poverty when your father died. The vision laid before me would remedy your predicament at the same time it helped my cousin and mother.

I remembered what Lady Jane Douglas did. After she had gone to France, she sent word home that she was heavily pregnant even though she was of fifty years. Later she returned with twin boys, one of which is the current Baron Douglas. It was said she kidnapped the boys, but such a thing would not do for me if it could be avoided. I wished my heir to be from higher breeding and of my family's blood.

My solution: I could have you live with me as Christine did with my parents, only you would have a child I would claim as my own.

As soon as I met you, I knew I would offer you the position. Knowing Darcy's existing admiration for you, I knew the two of you would end as attached as the first Earl and Countess Spencer after experiencing the intimacy required to produce my heir.

Once we started, I wished to tell you of my desires for you to marry Darcy and the two of you to raise my child together. His affinity for you was evident. I felt sure you returned his admiration, though you kept your countenance well guarded. How could you not? He is a wealthy and handsome man desired by many, and the best of men once you become close to him.

When you went to Hertfordshire for the Bingley wedding, I felt sure the two of you would come back from such an experience with an even stronger connection for the difficulties you would face together, just like soldiers who are in battle together.

I enlisted Richard to help move your attachment along. He was supposed to show Darcy how desirable you would be to other men, thus fueling Darcy's already growing interest in you. My hope was that Darcy would secure you before my heir was even seeded.

I should have known Richard would botch it. He has made a mess of everything I have asked him to do in this plan. I am thankful I was not relying on him to father the child; he would likely turn out impotent. From his asking for your assistance to his flirting, everything my cousin did backfired. He was to suggest his willingness to marry you so you would know you would have options, only it made you think him a fortune hunter. He was to flirt with you to make Darcy jealous—which it did, but it made you think all gentlemen are rakes, which then encouraged you to despise the level of society we find ourselves in. Once I learned of your response to him, I ordered Richard to stay far away from you lest he cause further damage that I would be left to repair. Likely, you will not see him until after you have been married some time and can laugh at his antics. He is really not so bad a fellow once you get to know him.

It was after your trip for your sister's wedding, when I finally learned about Darcy's misbehavior in your town and his insults to you, that I knew I could not tell you of my wishes. You and Darcy are both headstrong and tenacious. Fools that you are, you both would have opposed me, even though it meant sacrificing your own happiness. You had decided to not stay connected to my family and Darcy was too wrapped in his own concerns to think that far ahead. The only way I had to be certain the two of you married was for you both to come to that conclusion on your own. Neither of you made it easy.

I have spent the last nine months trying to coerce the two of you into an understanding. Thankfully, I had Peeke's help. She suggested both the fostering and the feeding. If you were to foster, you could not abandon Darcy or my child. Darcy would not let much time go by before securing you. When you both seemed to rebel against that, Peeke suggested the feeding. She told me the sensations given during such an act would bind you tightly to the child. So much so that she thought you would willingly overcome any objections just to remain with the child.

Considering how both you and Darcy responded when I separated you in November, I felt the wisdom of all of Peeke's suggestions.

I will give you my honest reaction now. I sent him away first because I was resentful of Darcy's unwillingness to share the joyful event with me. Then I saw the thick letter you received from him right after he left and I knew he yearned to be back in your company. In the evenings, you pined for the man. I decided to make you feel his absence even more so you would finally admit your attachment to him. I spoke of imagined dinners and dancing and his being in company with other eligible women to pique your own covetousness. I believe it might have been what was needed to make you both finally agree to marry. Let me assure you, it was not a trivial task to achieve by any means.

I hope you understand there is no way I could ever express to you how overjoyed I was when we found you were with child. I wanted nothing more than to experience a life growing within me rather than the death that was consuming me.

As my body was no longer able to sustain life, I had to take as much from you as I could. I admit I was jealous Darcy was allowed so much more access to the baby. I want for him to love my child, but I wanted time as well. Thankfully, a few days ago James began coming to me in my dreams. He now sends me pictures of a happy baby much loved by its parents. He gives me images of young children playing happily with friends and siblings. I still do not know with certainty if it will be a boy or a girl; he sends me images of both, and there is no clear face. Only the dark curls and the exuberant laughter I so wish for.

I know I am the paper mother of my child, just as Darcy has been a paper husband to me. As the baby grows into an adult, there may come a time when it needs to know the truth of its birth. You have my blessing to tell all that needs to be shared. I am confident you can share our story in a way that will ensure I am still loved and remembered.

It is my dearest hope is that you now read this letter as Mrs. Darcy. If not then all of my efforts have been in vain. No matter what might happen, know I am always indebted to you. I wish you the best of health and God's blessings for your future.

Love &cta,

Anne de Bourgh

—

The thirtieth of January

Rosings Park

Dearest Elizabeth,

Lewis and Bennet have been born. I know they are James' final gift to me in this lifetime. They were born precisely five years after his death. He has given me two sons to protect my estate and care for my mother and to never know the loneliness I did. James gave them each other. Now I ask that you give them more siblings. Create a home full of life and energy, rather than that of idleness and apathy I have lived. Let all of your children know how much I love them.

Anne

Elizabeth folded the letter. She had read it as not as Anne's friend but as Mrs. Darcy, as Anne had wished. Shaking her head at the lengths Anne had gone to, it was still disturbing to have been forced into such a role. Although her rewards were great, she had still been a pawn in Anne's grand game of chess.

Knowing the boys would soon be up, if they were not already, Elizabeth sighed as she slogged up the stairs to the nursery. Reflecting upon the last time she had seen Lady Catherine, Elizabeth realized most of Anne's machinations had been unnecessary. The most recent letter from Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam informed them of Lady Catherine's now being confined to her bed, not being expected to see the summer. On the way to Pemberley, Darcy had told her about his line of thinking in that 'carriage ride to hell' the year before and how he had been forming his own plans to court her. Both felt they would have found their way together in their own time.

As she entered the nursery, she had both boys brought to her so they might feed together. As she looked down on their dark heads and clasped hands, she corrected her earlier thoughts. Anne's efforts had been necessary. Otherwise, she would not have her lovely Louie and boisterous Bennie.