Chapter 38: Epilogue: Twin Piques
Epilogue: Twin Piques
The dark haired babies quickly grew from angelic cherubs into wild things that loved nothing more than to torment the hell out of everyone. Both had the vigor of their biological mother combined with the intimidating looks of their father, and the pair loved nothing more than to play tricks on unsuspecting victims. The backsides of both young lads were well acquainted with the paddle, but both felt it worth it for a good enough laugh.
The encouragement of their Great-Uncle Matlock and mischievous Uncle Richard made the Darcy twins even worse. What the boys did not think of themselves, their uncles thought of for them.
Grandpa Bennet was another knight in their Round Table of Rascals. He had been the source of a few of their more ingenious pranks when they were small, but as they grew, he found himself more frequently an amused victim. Louie and Bennie were never quite sure why but quickly learned their father would spare their derrières when their pranks were played on Grandpa Bennet. He was the only adult their father seemed to enjoy watching them tease, although the elder Darcy would never admit it.
As soon as the Darcy boys could crawl, the Darcy parents learned the wisdom in the advice to keep more than one nurse. As they began to move, one would explore north while the other went south. They learned to walk one day and were running the next. As they grew, both kept their proclivity to move in opposite directions except when they wished to do something they were forbidden to do. Then they would work together.
The nurses routinely reported, with some levels of exasperation, finding one boy on his hands and knees with the other standing on his brother's back to unlatch the door and allow both unfettered freedom from the nursery.
After the unfortunate incident where a toddler Louie shoved Bennie into the pond then jumped in to save him—both too young to know how to swim, thankfully their father was nearby to fish them out—both were banned from the grounds unless supervised by two nurses. (Their Mama seemed particularly impressed by Papa's abilities and his damp clothing upon exiting the pond. In less than a year their first sister was born.)
Luckily for the boys, they had six siblings to act as protégés and accomplices: a brother only a year younger, a sister three years younger, another brother five years younger, another sister seven years younger, and then the pièce de résistance: identical twin girls exactly ten years younger than the first set of Darcy twins! The twin girls were mirrors of their older brothers until finally forced into ladylike behaviors, though they still rebelled at any opportunity offered to them. When little two-year-olds Catherine and Clarissa took bags of sweets from their older brothers and declared ownership, with Catherine innocently claiming "I Louie" and Clarissa claiming "I Bennie," the older brothers' hearts were stolen. From then on, Louie would always act as Catherine's devoted protector, and Bennie would always be Clarissa's.
As they grew, Louie and Bennie continued to live up to their self-assigned duty to keep the household from becoming dull. They taught all of their siblings and cousins how to climb trees, catch frogs, and slide across the tile floors in stockings. They did not limit their escapades only to the purview of the nurses, the boys enjoyed keeping all of the staff hopping. Sometimes literally, like when they put a bucket full of live frogs in Cook's pantry. At the time Louie told Bennie, "Geesh, you would have thought Pemberley was burning down with the way Cook screamed. But that paddling was worth it! The whole house was in an uproar for three days trying to catch all of those frogs! Can you believe we were punished by being made to catch the frogs? As if that were a hardship!"
The two eldest boys always knew that Anne was the mother on their birth registry, but having never known her, they could do naught but feel Elizabeth their true mother. At times, when Elizabeth would not allow their more adventurous endeavors or when she needed to tend to the younger children, they naturally attributed her neglect to their having a different mother.
There was the one time when they climbed up the outside of the staircase and were jumping onto the bench below. Mama stopped them in a panic and the boys grumbled all the way to their rooms that their "real mother would have let them."
Another time they were at the lake and climbed out on a large branch to see if they could jump into the middle of the water. Mama caught them and forced the boys to climb back out of the tree, quite ungracefully. Both boys agreed, just knowing their real mother would have let them jump. Incidentally, that was the incident that encouraged Papa to finally teach them how to swim.
Who could forget the time Bennie wanted to pierce Louie's nose like a pirate? Mama caught them and told them no such thing would be allowed. She then hid all the sewing supplies for the next few months to make sure neither could find a needle. They were absolutely certain their real mother would have let them both have their noses pierced and complained to their father. Papa assured them that was not the case. Their real mother would never allow them to do anything Mama would not allow them to do. Looking sternly at Bennie, he asked, "Pierce your brother's nose! Why would you ever think such a thing acceptable in proper society?"
Bennie looked guiltily at his father, mumbling, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
Darcy looked sternly at both boys. "Your Mama would be well within her rights to no longer acknowledge either of you after the things you have subjected her to." Drawing his lips tightly, he scowled, looking slowly from one to the other. "At this point, I would fully support her. Stop tormenting your mother. She is the only one you have."
Darcy may have chuckled to himself after the boys left, but they never knew. They did complain to him a time or two after that about their mistreatment due to not being Mama's real children, but Papa laughed at the selfishness of the boys, telling them they would grow to be better men if they did not expect to always be put first.
Their wit was always a source of amusement, even when they did not fully understand what adults found so humorous. Around their tenth year, they decided it was too much work to call themselves Louie and Bennie, thus decided to shorten and combine their name to "BeLu". When they announced it at the dinner table, Mama nearly sprayed her soup out into her napkin and Papa choked on his tea. Once that happened, they knew they had found a winning name and would never give it up. From that point on, their closest friends knew them as the BeLu twins.
Their biggest frustration was that while they could easily fool most of the adults, they could never fool their Mama. Somehow Mama could always tell them apart. Their younger siblings were particularly unreliable accomplices, as they could be easily convinced to betray which twin was the culprit or instigator. Except for Catherine and Clarissa! Those two dear girls could always be entrusted to obfuscate the adults.
At one event held by the Earl of Matlock, King George IV attended. Lewis was presented before his highness as the Darcy heir. When Lewis was dismissed and walked out of a side door to the King's right, Bennet walked into the room through a door on the King's left, much confusing the already inebriated sovereign until the earl introduced Bennet as the Darcy surprise. Afterward, their father confined both boys in his study for an extended discussion. Neither boy left without an understanding that not everyone was fair game for their pranks.
The dear boys did much to hasten Mrs. Reynold's retirement, though she did love all the children and would often come by for short visits. Pemberley became what Anne had dreamed of: a lively hubbub of activity with no child left alone.
Lady Catherine did not live more than two months past Anne's death—her strong reliance on the opiates to numb her senses having caused her to stop taking nourishment.
Their Aunt Georgiana married a local gentleman so she could watch the enchanting little drove of Darcys grow and to assure the lives of her own children would be closely entwined with those of their cousins.
Uncle Richard resigned his commission to take care of Rosings Park for Darcy. He met a wild woman who tamed him—a trade heiress with a large dowry who was to inherit her father's business. She was perfectly competent at running the business, and she had no need for him there. However, she needed him to satisfy her proclivities, including impregnating her with a legitimate heir at some point, and to maintain a proper estate for their parties. With Rosings Park but a half-day's drive to London, they gladly maintained the estate for Darcy.
Once the boys become men and finished university, Louie was highly sought after in the marriage market during their first season. Though usually highly competitive with his brother and enjoying nothing more than a good fight with his best mate, seeing the vapid women slight his twin turned his stomach. He held little respect for most of the ladies. They were all trained to be nothing more than pets for their husbands, empty dolls for the men to display. The most aggressive of them were the social climbers who cared nothing for the men, only for the estate. (Though the Darcy twins did have a few amusing stories they would share at the club, amusing the men with some of the tricks they had used on women who tried to compromise them.)
Both men knew their father married their real mother only to have an heir and keep crazy old Grandmother Catherine out of their house. Papa had never actually called her 'crazy old Grandmother Catherine', but they knew how to read their father. They also knew how to antagonize him until he would say more than he intended. Uncle Richard was also a good source, he never hesitated to give his opinions.
Always together, their father taught them both, one alongside the other, how to manage the estates. Though it was made plain to them both that Louie would be the one inheriting, the brothers themselves had always considered the inheritance as belonging to them both. It was an odd notion, something only those born together could understand. As youngsters, they had decided to split Rosings Park and Pemberley between them. There were two houses in town to split as well. Eventually, they decided Bennie, being less inclined toward the cold weather, should take Rosings Park for his own, while Louie took Pemberley for his estate.
Now that they were mature enough to begin to take their responsibility to the Darcy name more seriously, the brothers officially decided to split Rosings Park from the Darcy holdings and assign it to Bennie before enduring another season.
When they entered their father's study, Louie seriously asked, "Papa, how do you know which one of us is really Louie and which one is really Bennie? I know Mama always knows who is who, but she did not become our mother until we were a few months old. Maybe he"—Louie pointed at Bennie—"was really born first and should be called Louie."
Darcy looked at his boys, slowly blinking in astonishment that they would think their mother would not know one from the other, but then remembered they considered Anne to be their birth mother. "Surely you jest? She was there when you were born. You were quite different sizes that first year, it was no challenge to tell you apart until after you were a year or so old."
Louie was still insistent. "I am quite decided on it, there is no way to know if you or one of the nurses have switched us at some point and maybe Bennie should be the heir. We have spoken about it and have decided Rosings Park and Pemberley need to be separate estates again. I do not mind the cold so much as Bennie, so I'll take Pemberley and the Darcy estates. Bennie will take Rosings Park and all that went along with it. It is only fair since we will never know for sure which of us was born first."
When their father barely suppressed his laughter, Bennie insisted on knowing what amused him so. Darcy would only answer that "I am greatly amused at the irony," but no matter how much they worked on him neither was able to get a further explanation. In the end, their father did help them ensure the estates were once again separated. Longbourn would go to their next youngest brother since it was no longer entailed.
With both now inheriting, the brothers encountered many eligible young women during their seasons, but none who would meet their demands.
When they were three and twenty, they decided to go visit their good friend and cousin, Wesley Bingley, at his parents' estate for the first time since before they had left for Cambridge. They called Bingley their cousin, but he really was not. His father was a good friend to their father and his mother was sister to their stepmother. He was their same age and the three had gone through school together. Wesley was good natured like his father and usually willing to participate in most of their adventures, so passing a month or two with his family would be no punishment.
They knew Aunt Jane and Uncle Charles also had twin girls a few years younger than themselves but had not seen them these past six years. The boys were shocked when they were greeted by the twin goddesses, both made in the image of their mother. They were not identical as Elizabeth Bingley had blonde hair where Isobel Bingley had brown. They were to be introduced to society in the coming season. It took but a moment's glance at one another for the brothers to communicate they needed to know these girls better. As twins themselves, the ladies would understand things other ladies could not.
The young men spent the next two months being entertained not only by their friend Bingley but also his sisters. All of the Bingleys watched in amusement during the evening card games when each Darcy twin chose a Bingley twin as a partner.
After that first evening, Louie paired with Elizabeth and Bennie with Isobel. They left the Bingley home knowing they had found their desired matches. Having no doubt that there would be strong competition in London for the beautiful young women, they looked at using their Mama's connection to gain an advantage.
Bennie opened the conversation. "We have found our angels, like Uncle Charles with Aunt Jane. We would like to offer for them before they are presented to London society but would like your blessings first." Then looking to his Mama, Bennie put on his most adorable cocked grin with the twinkle in the eye his mama could never refuse. "And your help."
Darcy and Elizabeth raised their brows at one another. They knew one day their boys would marry, but they were not prepared for this! The young men could only mean the Bingley twins after spending so much time there.
Darcy cleared his throat and looked at his son. "Tell me more."
Bennie and Louie went on to explain the many charms and the well-known beauty of the Bingley twins. They had grown into desirable and accomplished women. The young men were hoping to use the friendship of their father's and their stepmother's relationship to receive permission to offer for them before these delicate beauties would be fed to the wolves of London. "It is not as though we are actually related to them," Bennie reminded them. "As we have a different birth mother, there is no blood relation. We need your help even more because of the lack of connection."
For some reason, Mama began coughing. Neither man could determine if she was also laughing, but she did have those crinkles around her eyes that usually formed when she was hiding a smirk. She patted their father's sleeve and quickly excused herself from the conversation, saying in a choking voice that she would allow their noble father to discern how best to respond to such an inquiry, as proposal offers were more in the gentlemen's realm than the ladies.
Papa looked at her first with his eyes wide and mouth open, looking like he was shocked at their request. Then his lips drew tight and to the side, while his brows tightened in frustration. Mama must have been laughing at him, that was something she did when Papa was in an embarrassing situation. She did the same thing that time the got in trouble when they were very young.
They were quite young lads at the time, maybe only four years old, and on a lark, they snuck out of their room and into the library where Mama and Papa were reading before retiring. When the boys entered the library, Mama was sitting on Papa's lap! She was calling him "Liam" for some unknown reason and he was calling her "BenKey." It was all very confusing because both boys knew Papa's given name was Fitzwilliam and Mama's given name was Elizabeth. Their parents did not notice them sneaking in until the boys were within ten feet of the adults. When Mama and Papa wrapped their arms around each other and then put their lips together, both boys gasped in shock! Why would they do such a thing? Both adults heard their gasps and pulled apart in surprise, with Mama landing on the floor and Papa irate.
Their buttocks were once again tanned, this time only lightly as Mama was still in the room. Once finished, their father went through his usual routine. He asked if they understood they were to stay in their rooms after being put to bed. They said "yes". Then he asked if they had any further questions. They looked at one another and asked, "Why does she call you Liam and you call her BenKey? Those are not your given names."
Mama had choked and her eyes became all crinkly with tears coming from them as she excused herself to let their father answer their boyish questions. Thinking back, Mama patted Papa on the sleeve way back then too. Papa had only said those were private names they only used with one another and it started before they were born. The boys were satisfied with that answer and returned to the nursery, too young to realize their Papa should never have had a private name for their Mama before they were born as he was married to their real mother then.
Now they were young men asking for their father's approval to marry his best friend's daughters. Once Mama left the room, Papa told his young men to have a seat. Papa first paced a few times, then went to look out the window. The young men knew this meant he was about to say something uncomfortable. Papa did the same thing when he taught them about women and that nifty trick to sedate themselves when an embarrassment popped up. They would just have to wait him out. If they tried to rush him, he would likely become irritated, and it would be impossible to ask any questions of him.
After a few minutes and a few more deep breaths, Papa sat behind the desk and faced them both. "Ahem. Well, as you know, Anne, my cousin and the mother listed on your birth registration, and I married to keep her mother, my aunt, at Rosings Park. Anne and I held none of that type of affection for one another. At that time, I had that type of affection for another." Though none of this was news to the boys, Papa paused and steadied himself for the rest of the news he was to impart. "At the time, I was trying to determine a way to ask your mama to marry me. Anne was very ill and going to die. She insisted I marry her to give me control of Rosings Park and keep it as a place for her mother to live. However, for it to stay in our family she needed an heir. You know all of these things, but what you do not know is that Anne was too far along in her illness to conceive or carry a child."
This last bit was news to them and piqued their interest. Both boys moved forward in their chairs, listening intently to their father's every word. Looking at them both, Darcy shifted uncomfortably. "Anne asked me to let you know if there was ever a time you should need to know. Your mama and I have spoken of it. Her concern is how you will view your parents once this becomes known to you."
Looking from young man to young man, something spurred in his memory. "What I am about to tell you is something you can tell no one. If it becomes known, you may both become illegitimate and lose your inheritance to your younger brother." He looked sternly at both boys as they nodded their understanding, but both faces with eyes wide and mouths agape. Their very proper parents had obviously done something highly scandalous in their youth! This had to be good! The boys rubbed their hands in excitement and looked at one another.
"Elizabeth has always wished to honor Anne's part in bringing you two to life and bringing the two of us together in a happy union. As far as she is concerned, you call her 'Mama' and consider her your mother, and that is all she needs. The only place she is not your mother is on the papers that registered your birth." At this, their father chuckled to himself at some long lost memory. "However, she is concerned about not only your ability to inherit but her own reputation if any of this becomes known. She is also concerned that she might lose your respect and your love once you find out."
"She is the only Mama we have," both boys exclaimed.
Louie elaborated. "How could we not love her? She is the one we always went to when we were hurt. We love you, Papa, but she is the one we could always rely on to kiss our skinned knees or hold us when our dog died."
Bennie agreed. "We could never not love Mama. If something from the past hurt her, we will always stand by her and do what we can to make her feel better, the same as she has always done for us."
Addressing his sons, Darcy let them know, "I believe you are old enough to understand this, and I hope you can forgive us both for our earlier transgressions. Just know, your mother and I would have married sooner, and you both likely would have been born anyway, even if Anne had not involved us in her machinations." Darcy went through an abbreviated and cleaned up version of what had happened four and twenty years before. The young men listened in rapt attention, looking much like they had as young children hearing a fantastical tale of adventure. But this was no fantastical tale, this was what their parents had really done.
When he was finished, the two younger men looked at each other. They were old enough and experienced enough to guess much of what their father had left out. Papa had kept Mama as his inamorata and they were the result. Their parents had done a fantastic job of hiding their history as they had never thought of their parents as anything but boring and proper. At first, they did not believe their father because it seemed too out of character, but his extreme discomfort in broaching the subject matter meant he was being honest.
Their next reaction was shock. Of course, young men and members of the ton did things like that, but their parents? It was difficult to conceive of their parents as having once been young and as desire-driven as their sons were now.
As their father sat uncomfortably behind his desk watching them both, the young men realized it had happened and could not be undone. They also understood it was something no one else could ever know.
Rather than further torment their father, Bennie decided to lighten the mood. He looked at Louie. "Remember all those times we said our real mother would have let us do things that Mama stopped us from. We were wrong."
Louie smiled, understanding his brother's motives. "So true. This means there was never a time when Mama did not love us as much as her own children, no matter how injured our juvenile minds were."
Darcy was relieved that his sons accepted their parentage without offense. As a result of this, he returned to the initial subject that brought his sons into the room: the Bingley twins. "So the Bingleys are your cousins, but they do not know, and you are never to tell them. If you wish to offer for them, we will support you. Though once their parents tell them of all your childhood antics, I might wonder at their sagacity if they accept you."
Louie happily answered his father. "Oh no, they were just as bad as we were, but they were better at hiding it. One time Elissa put a snake in her mother's bed. Bingley—um, Wesley—ended up being blamed for it. That is just one of the beauties of these ladies. They understand what it is like to be a twin."
Holding up his hand, Darcy indicated his sons should stop sharing their information now. "Good luck in your endeavors, sons." As all three men stood, Darcy stopped them before they left. "And go hug your mother."
As the Darcy sons were gifted with their mother's personality more than their father's, they were easily able to convince the lovely Bingley sisters to accept their offers. All four mutually agreed that it best to allow the ladies to experience a London season on the arms of their intendeds and to marry in the spring as the next season drew to a close.
The following March, after all the wedding clothes had been assembled, the wedding trip arranged, and the wedding ready to be held the next day, Charles Bingley and Fitzwilliam Darcy brought Louie and Bennie Darcy into the imposing study at the Darcy house in town. Fitzwilliam Darcy sat behind his desk with Charles Bingley standing behind him, both looking imposingly on the two young men in front of them.
The older men each handed a younger one a glass of strong spirits. Darcy stood, indicating his sons should stand as well. Lifting his glass, he offered a salute. "A toast: To long and happy marriages for you both."
"Here, here," was said by all before they returned to their seats to finish their drinks.
Darcy again looked sternly at his sons. "There is a secret to a happy life, boys. First, it is imperative to choose your partner well. I believe you have done that. Next, you must keep your wife happy."
Unlocking the most private drawer in his desk, Darcy took out two envelopes before closing the drawer and relocking it.
He took the envelopes and handed one to each of his sons. "The letters inside these envelopes will give you instructions on how to do that. I suggest you open these letters with your wives tomorrow evening and work through each part to the best of your ability." Darcy quickly glanced at his old friend Bingley. They smirked at one another. "I believe your new father and I have both found doing such has made for a much more satisfactory union with our own wives." Darcy again raised his glass, this time toasting, "To Aunt Margaret!"
"To Aunt Margaret!" they all offered, though the young men had no idea who this heretofore unmentioned relative was nor what joy that was to be found in The Letter.
Note: I'll post the last chapter tomorrow! Enjoy.