Gabriel's hands shook as he reached for the syringe, his fingertips almost numb. The humming beneath his skin makes it hard to judge where his fingers end, and the plastic begins. It took him a few tries before he could finally grasp it, only to struggle to raise it to his flesh. He curled his free hand into a fist and gritted his teeth determinedly.

He's glad he has his back to Crowley, the last thing he wants is for the demon to see his weakness. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath and tries to keep himself calm. The silence is broken by footsteps and he knows Sam is behind him even before his lover's hand lands on his shoulder. A warm solid anchor.

Opening his eyes slowly, he pressed the needle to his arm, and hissed when it pieced his flesh. As he watched the blood flow in, the irritating voice of Crowley echoed off the concrete, only unlike the previous times the demon had spoken, his voice shook. Almost in time with Gabriel's hands.

His voice rang with desperation, and panic, as he pleaded with Sam. "We've shared a foxhole you and I, and still, you're gonna do me like this? Ah! Band of Brothers? The Pacific? None of this means anything to you?" He rambled on, "All those motels, you never once watched HBO? Not once? Girls?

You're my Marnie, moose."

That had Gabriel looking over his shoulder, needle still in his arm. He looked curiously up at Sam, who was staring at the demon, brow raised in bafflement.

"And Hanna, she just needs to be loved, she deserves it. Don't we all? You? Me? We deserve to be loved. I deserved to be loved! - I just wanna be loved."

"What?" Sam frowned, looking from the demon to Gabriel.

From the look on Crowley 's face, he was just as confused and uncertain as they were…more some probably. "Huh?"

Withdrawing the syringe from his arm, Gabriel forced his feet to steadily carry him to Crowley's side. He placed his free hand in the man's shoulder, then carefully pushed the needle into Crowley 's neck.

Drawing back, he saw a tear slip from beneath the demon's lashes, and felt a mix of sympathy and fear. If the demon could cry, they were almost there. One final injection and it would be over.

Gabriel took a step back and braced himself for the burning. As ready as he was, however, when the trials power began to make its way up his arms, he let out a pained cry and his knees buckled. It felt as if there was blades beneath his skin, slicing up his veins as they passed through, causing him to bleed internally.

Thankfully, Sam was there to catch him when he crumpled, but even the man's touch pained him. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Gabe?" Sam said, voice trembling and filled with fear.

Gabriel hissed in a breath as Sam slide his arm beneath Gabe's legs and carried him out of the room. Over the course of the past two years, Gabriel had been injured several times. He thought he was used to what it felt like to be human, and had thought the concept of mortality and its inevitable end was something he'd come to terms with. It seemed he was wrong. Resting his head on Sam's shoulder, the panic encroached on him, wrapping around him like a heavy suffocating blanket. He turned his head into Sam's shirt and let the tears come.

He was going to die. He knew that with certainty. Always had, so it was ridiculous to suddenly now fear it. He did though, and it was made even more terrifying because he didn't know where he would go once it was over. Heaven wasn't for creatures like him, he had no soul to build a heaven from. He was an abomination. An angel turned human. And unlike with Cas, their father wouldn't be gifting him with a new set of wings. That meant one of two options. Back to the eternal torment of purgatory, or – the empty. The endless nothingness. The final port of call for all angels.

His stomach twisted as his mind whirled, which would be a better fate, he wondered. An eternity of fighting or an eternity of silence. At least in purgatory, he would have his memories, and perhaps he might find his way out once more. Find his way back to Sam and Claire.

Gabriel shook his head against the pillow. – Pillow? Oh, Sam had set him down on their bed. – If Heaven and Hell were closed off to earth by the complication of these trials, then so too would Purgatory be. His father would make sure of that.

"Gabe?" Sam whispered, fingers lightly brushing through his hair. It felt like hot pokers against his scalp and Gabriel flinched and whined, until Sam withdrew his hand. Nothing more was said, and the only sound that echoed painfully in Gabriel's ears were the footsteps of Sam walking away from him. Gabriel turned his face further into the pillow and cried, not caring that his tears felt like acid on his overly sensitive skin.

/*\/*\/*\

Sam staggered away from the room, his trembling legs carrying him only a few feet before they gave out and sent him crashing to the ground. Pressing his back against the wall, Sam pulled his long legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them like a terrified child. – Because that's exactly how he felt. – And for the second time that afternoon, Sam cried. Soul shattering sobs echoed off the tiled walls.

/*\/*\/*\

Dean made his way along the darkened corridor, the silence of the place was deafening and eerily for the first time.

Over the course of the last hour, they'd been working their way through the bunker, deciding what they wanted to take with them. Dean had stripped the armoury while Sam had fretted over books and files. Nerd that he was. There was still a way to go, but at present, the Impala's boot was stuffed.

They'd planned while they'd worked. They would head to the motel on the other side of town and wait it out.

Sam had been understandably quiet as they packed up the library. In fact, they all were, the final trial hanging over their heads like a Sword of Damocles, getting closer and closer to Sam's heart.

Seeing his kid brother break down in his arms had been possibly the worst day of his life. When Sam had lost Jess, he'd bottled it all up and hadn't spoken about it. He'd dealt with his grief alone, but that was a long time ago, a lot had passed under the bridge since then. He and Sam were different people now, closer. This time, Sam didn't hold it in, he didn't hide away, and Dean was right there to catch him.

Back at his room, Dean paused, watching as Cas carefully folded shirts, and placed them in the duffle bag. Sam wasn't the only one who'd changed since that night in Pal Alto. If someone had told his twenty-five-year-old self that he'd be in love with an angel, he'd have laughed. If they'd said this angel was in male form, he'd have outright called them a liar.

The mere thought of what he had now, at 25, would have been horrifying. He'd tried so hard to ignore his feelings, to be the son his father wanted, especially after the incident with Lee. Many of Dean's wild hook-ups in his youth had been about proving to his dad that what had happened was a mistake. That he didn't feel like that anymore. Even after his father had slipped out of his life, he'd kept up that charade, only this time for Sam. – Or so he told himself. He didn't want his brother to be as disappointed and disgusted in him as John was.

"Dean?"

He startled, blinking. "Uh, hey." He smiled easily and stepped into the room, pressing a kiss to Cas' lips in some weird defiant motion. A middle figure to the ghost of a man who'd been his father in name more than deed. "Did you start over."

Cas looked at the tidy interior of Dean's bag. "It was a mess, and you have too much."

Dean looked at the bed, considering, "I never had a problem before."

With a shrug, Cas went back to folding and Dean tossed the washbag on the bed. Looking around his room, Dean realised he did in fact have more stuff. They'd only been there a few months, but in that short time, Dean had obtained records and books, random stuff that he'd never been able to have before because his life had always been on the road.

Stepping over to his desk, Dean picked up the photo of his mom that he kept propped against the lamp. "You know," He muttered, glancing at the room once more, "this is the closest thing I've had to a home since I was a kid." He sighed, turning to perch in the edge of the desk. "I haven't had my own room since I was four, let alone slept in the same bed for longer than a month."

Cas paused, looking over at him. "We'll find a new home, Dean."

Exhaling, Dean nodded. "I know, I just – I guess I'd thought that this was it." Pushing himself back to his feet, he reached for his wallet, slipping the photo back where it had been since he was old enough to have money. Putting it in the back pocket of his jeans, Dean pulled open the drawers, just to be sure there was nothing in them, before heading over to the nightstand.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Dean pulled open the draw.

Among the usual nightstand accompaniments, - lube, old flesh mags, chap stick and Advil, - Dean finds more photos. Ones he keeps hidden away because seeing them hurts too much. Reminds him of what he'd lost.

Taking them out now, Dean stares at them, and while the regret us just as prominent as ever, it hurts a little less.

The top picture is a glossy colour image. His own smiling face stares up at him, stood in front of the impala which gleams in the sunshine. At his side, is a kid, His smile is just as bright as Dean's own. There's laughter in the boy's eyes, He's perched on the hood of his Baby, leaning into Dean, arm over Dean's shoulder. Dean looks so happy in the photo, but it's an illusion. In so many ways.

As much as he tried to be happy with Lisa and Ben , tried to live the life Sam wanted for him, he just couldn't. There'd been an emptiness inside him that never eased. It wasn't solely the grief, no matter what he'd told himself at the time, and for years after. it came from feeling - wrong. Out of place. Not belonging.

And there was a sense that Lisa wasn't...right. As much as he cared about her, loved her even, he wasn't in love with her. She didn't make his heart beat faster, didn't fill him with a sense of excitement, or a sense of comfort. He couldn't be himself with her, not fully. He was always holding a part of himself back for fear of looking weak.

And then, there was Ben.

That pain he thought had gone, returned with a vengeance, shooting through his chest. Ben wasn't his, he knew that, but...fuck had it felt like he was. There had always been a - connection between them, from the moment they'd met. And when Dean had asked Lisa, as terrified as he'd been, he'd also felt hope. He'd selfishly felt a kind of prideful joy at the prospect of leaving behind a son when he was gone. And when Lisa had denied it, Dean had felt a disappointment and regret unlike anything he'd felt before.

It was a sensation that had replayed itself when the demon possessing Lisa had teased him with the prospect of genuine fatherhood, only to tear it away in the next breath. Dean swallowed convulsively at the memory.

"Dean?" Cas said gently, hand resting reassuringly on Dean's shoulder. Dean's heart fluttered at the simple touch. It had never fit with Lisa. "Are you alright?" Cas asked, taking a seat beside him. Leaving a respectable gap between them. Once upon a time, Cas didn't understand nor care for personal space, and Dean missed those days.

"I'm fine." Dean said, though the thickness of his voice said otherwise.

Cas stared at him, unconvinced, then inhaled slow and deep when he looked down at the photo. Dean felt him stiffen despite the space between them. "Oh." Cas sighed. "You know Dean, if you wish to return to..."

"Stop." Dean said sharply, glowering at the angel. "That's not what this is. - At least not in the way you're thinking."

Cas met his gaze, then relaxed, shoulders slumping. He didn't say anything though , and that concerned Dean. Cas tended to run away with himself, and create scenarios. It was half the reason they'd been separated the past few months.

"I don't miss my life with Lisa. I never wanted that life, I mean, I did," He shrugged, "For a long time, but...in the end, the reality didn't live up to the fantasy." He looked back down at the photo, and exhaled, "In the end, I realised I was there out of…" Dean shrugged, not sure how to best describe the situation, "It's where everyone else wanted me to be. Sam, Bobby, - You."

Cas' head snapped around, "Me?" He frowned, then sighed. "I... - I thought you were… - I thought it was because you missed Sam."

Dean turned, "What does that mean?"

Guiltily, Castiel hung his head and stared at his hands. "I would check in on you, occasionally. I just assumed you weren't happy because Sam wasn't there. It's why I…" He swallowed thickly and his fingers curled into fists.

"That's why you got Sam out of the cage?" Dean muttered, eyes wide. "Because you thought I was miserable because I missed Sam." Wow. Okay. "I mean, I'm not going to deny that Sam being gone was part of it, but – fuck Cas, he wasn't the only person I lost."

Castiel looked surprised by that statement, despite them spending almost an hour making out in the Impala. – More than making out, truth be told. "Oh." He eventually muttered, licking at his lips.

Dean smiled softly and bumped his shoulder into the angel's. "Don't worry Cas. Truth be told, I didn't really get why I was miserable back then." He glanced sheepishly at Cas, "I didn't realise how important you'd become to me, not until…" Dean sighed, shaking his head, "…I lost you. Not until you chose Crowley."

"I didn't choose Crowley, Dean." Cas snapped defensively. "I was – I had no choice, I needed to stop Raphael."

Dean grabbed Cas' arm, squeezing it. "I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. It's all the past, right. We've got a future to look forward to."

Cas stared for a moment before relaxing with a nod. "Yes. Let us focus on that." He fell silent for a few moments, and Dean went back to staring at his picture. "Do you…?" Cas stared, hands folded in his lap.

"What?"

"What are we…" He shook his head, "I mean, what do you want to do? You said you and Sam had discussed retiring, what does that mean?"

"Retiring? It means 'leave one's jo…."

"I know what the word means, Dean." Cas sighed, rolling his eyes with his whole body. "I mean, what does it mean for you? How do you see it working?"

"Ah." Dean smirked, then shrugged again. "I…" He chewed at his lips thoughtfully. "I've been thinking about that, actually…and – I don't know, I've never known anything but the road."

"That's not true." Cas argued, looking pointedly at the picture.

Dean looked down and took a deep breath. "It's a bit soon to be thinking about kids, Cas." He said, attempting to sound amused and light-hearted, but it fell flat. He moved the happy photo aside to reveal a much less happy picture.

"Who is that?" Castiel asked, looking down at the photo printed in a local paper.

He'd found it a few days after the incident, while researching a case. He can still remember the way his gut had twisted sickeningly.

"Emma." Dean muttered, "My daughter."

Silence fell. Dean continued to stare down at the printout, that sadness wrapping around him again. He'd kept it stashed away in his wallet, never looking at it, and he most certainly made sure Sam never saw it.

"Your…" Cas' eyes widened, "When did…?"

Dean let out a breath and handed the article over to Cas. It took a few seconds before Cas frowned and then turned to Dean, "This was from two years ago, how is…"

"She was an Amazon."

Cas froze, looking back at the picture. "Oh."

"Yeah. – But…" He licked at his lips, "I know this will sound – but I swear, she was different, Cas. I spoke to her, she – she didn't want to kill me. I – I know it."

"Dean, Amazons are…"

"I know, I know, but I – I'm telling you, she wasn't like that."

Cas looked sceptical and Dean snatched back the paper, folding it, and placing it beneath the photo of Ben. His kids together. "It doesn't matter." He got to his feet, abandoning the packing. "We haven't got time for this."

"Dean."

"You should go and…"

Cas tugged at his arm, forcing Dean to face him. "Dean." He said pleadingly, and an ache started in Dean's chest.

Closing his eyes, Dean inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry Cas." He muttered, "I – Sam didn't believe it either, or maybe he was right, I mean, he's the one that sides with the monsters, right. If he says she was evil, then…."

Cas stepped closer, "She was your daughter and you wanted her, there is nothing wrong with that." He cradled his jaw, "Dean, you have an ability to bring out the best in people, change them. You changed me, who's to say that you didn't do the same for her. Perhaps the Winchester in her was stronger than the Amazon."

Tears filled Dean's eyes and he swallowed angrily against the lump in his throat. "Well, I guess we'll never know." He gritted out brokenly, turning to slip the photos into the bag and zip it up.

/*\/*\/*\

Sam stepped out of the corridor with a heavy weight pressing down on his heart. After his second mini breakdown of the day, he'd escaped to the gym and took out his frustrations on the punching bag. It hadn't helped with his mood, but he'd made up his mind about what to do with Gabriel.

Moving further into the crow's nest, he felt a wave of guilt when he saw a pile of duffle bags on the Map Table. Shit, he'd forgotten about the packing. He hadn't even finished putting his and Gabriel's stuff in their own bags.

"Sam?" Dean said from the table, brows pinched together in concern. "What's happened?" He gives Sam a once over, taking in his sweaty skin and undershirt.

"I'm not coming with you." He announced in a rush.

The room fell deathly silent, all eyes turning on him. Claire's face paled as she asked, "What?"

Licking his lips, Sam walked calmly toward the table and tossed his shirt on the chair. "I can't leave him."

"Sam…" Dean started, a warning in his voice.

He took a deep breath and met his brother's gaze determinedly. "He's too weak to finish this without help, Dean. I literally had to carry him back to our room after this latest dose. This isn't just about me not wanting to leave him."

Out of the corner of his eyes, Sam could see Claire, tears sliding down her cheeks. Turning, Sam pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight and letting out a long breath when her arms tightened around him.

"Surely there's a way we can do this without you sticking around." Dean said frantically.

Turning his head, Sam sighed. "You haven't seen him, Dean."

Dean's lips pressed in a thin line. "If you stay, Sam, you're going to die too."

"What?" Claire gasped, pulling away from Sam and looking between them. "Why?"

Sam shot Dean as withering glare, before taking a breath and explain to Claire about Gabriel's grace.

She shook her head frantically, "No. No, you can't leave me too."

"I don't want to, you know that, but – Gabe needs help."

"Let's just stop." Claire said breathlessly, looking up at Sam with pleading eyes. "Let's just stop it all. Forget about closing the gates, just – let someone else do it. If we stop, he'll get better, right? And we can just go back to how it was. We can keep hunting."

Sam looked down into her red eyes and felt his heart shatter all over again. Glancing over to Dean and Cas, who looked equally as heartbroken.

"It's too late." Cas said gently. "He's come too far."

Claire looked over at the angel with a look of betrayal that was utterly unjustified. "You can heal him." She argued, even though she knew it wasn't a real possibility.

"As I've said, the damage is too extensive."

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat and squeezed his eyes closed while taking a deep breath. Licking at his lips, he took Claire by the shoulders, catching her gaze. "If we give up now, it'll all be for nothing. Gabriel wants to keep going, he wants to do something meaningful." At least that's what Sam assumes. They'd barely spoken over the last few hours.

Claire shook his head, even as she crumpled back into his embrace. Sam held her, burying his face in her hair, and inhaling her scent.

Lifting his head, he looked once again at Dean. "Dean."

"I don't like it." Dean snapped. "What about retiring?"

Sam gave him a sad smile, "Look, if – if I can get away before he – before anything happens, I will." It was a blatant lie, and they all knew it, especially Cas who stared at him sadly.

The room was silently again, Sam just holding Claire close and savouring the last few minutes he had with her.

"Cas could stay." Kevin announced wearily from a chair. It was his turn to be the centre of attention, but he didn't seem the least bothered, only tired.

"What?" Dean snapped when Kevin didn't say anything more.

The young man met Dean's harsh stare. "He's an angel, he can get out quicker than Sam can." He snapped his fingers for emphasis.

"He's right, Dean."

"Like hell." Dean snapped, glaring at Kevin furiously.

Cas turned his whole body to face the hunter. "Would you rather lose Sam?"

Dean's eyes widened, flickering between his brother and the angel, "I don't want to lose either of you."

"Kevin is right, though Dean. I can get away the moment the trail is complete. – And…" Castiel's voice softened, "He's my brother, Dean. It's my duty to stand at his side."

"Cas." Sam started, heart racing. The fact was, he wanted to stay, and didn't care if it killed him. Life without Gabe wasn't something he wanted to face.

He held up his hand, "I know you want to stay, I understand that, but – Claire needs you. Dean needs you."

"I need you, Cas." Dean pleaded. "We've just…"

"I'm the only logical option." Turning, he looked at Dean with tearful eyes. "I'll get out, I promise." He stepped forward, reaching for Dean's shoulder, "I promise." He repeated.

Dean let out a broken whine in the back of his throat and a pulled Cas into a tight hug. "You better." He muttered into the angel's shoulder.

Cas hugged him back, "I love you, Dean."

"I – Fuck, Cas, I love you too." Pulling out of the embrace, Dean gripped Castiel's face and brought their lips together.

Sam watched, wanting to argue. Wanting to demand that he be the one to stay, but – but he knew it couldn't be . There was nothing he could say, because Kevin was right. Cas was the most logical choice.

The tension in the room was broken when the high-pitched blast of Sam's alarm pierced through the silence, announcing the final trial.

/*\/*\/*\

It was a struggle for Gabriel to open his eyes , when a hand landed lightly on his shoulder. His whole body felt like water, light and heavy all at once. In the darkness of the room, it took Gabriel a few seconds to focus, but even then, all he could see was a silhouette. But it didn't seem right. It was too short, "Sam?" He croaked out, his throat sandpaper dry.

"No Gabriel, it is Castiel."

Castiel? Why was Cas in his room?

As if reading his mind, Cas informed him, "Sam, Dean, Claire and Kevin have left."

Left? Why?

"We should go, Gabriel. It is almost time."

Ah, yes. He sighed to himself and pushed himself up on the bed. It felt odd, his brain barely able to register what was under them.

Castiel's fingers curled around his arm as he set his feet on the floor, or at least he thought that was what he was doing. It was hard to tell. Everything was so – hazy and disjointed. As if he was there but not there. There was a hum in his head, familiar and yet different, and he felt as if he should be scared, his mind said he should be scared, terrified, panicked, but – he felt only resigned.

The corridors felt eerily silent as they walked through them, which was a ridiculous thought because it wasn't as if the Bunker was a hive of activity, and yet there was a silence that hadn't been there before.

They took the final turn that would take them to their destination and Gabriel had a sudden thought. This must be what prisoners on death row feel like.

"Cas?"

"Yes, Gabriel."

"Why are you here?" He asked curiously. He probably should have asked ages ago, when his brother woke him, but his mind was a ball off cotton and string, his thoughts all over the place.

"Because you needed help, and it was either me or Sam."

At the mention of his lover's name, Gabriel's heart skipped and raced. It was so noticeable that he staggered for the first time since beginning this final trek. "Sam." He moaned. "But he's gone right. He's safe."

Cas looked down at him with a sad reassuring smile. "They're heading to the other side of town."

There was something in his brother's voice that twisted in his gut, "Cas?" He stopped, drawing the angel to a halt with him. "What aren't you saying?"

Castiel looked at his shoes for a minute, and licked at his lips. "I – I fear it is not far enough." He admitted.

Gabriel stared at him, "From?"

Cas narrowed his eyes, "The explosion."

Explosion? What Explo…. "Ah." Gabriel gasped. Right, yes. Him. He's going to explode. He can feel it just under the surface, fighting for freedom.

They shood there for a few minutes, Gabriel with his eyes closed while trying to calm himself. Trying to reach that moment of absolute calm he had mere moments ago.

"Gabriel." Cas whispered. "We need to…"

"Go." Gabriel said.

"Yes."

"No."

"What?" Cas frowned.

"I mean you go. Find them, get them away from here. Keep them safe." Gabriel said desperately.

Castiel straightened and shook his head. "I can't do that Gabriel."

"You have to." Gabe pleaded, despair in his voice.

"Gabriel, you can barely stand." Cas said, squeezing his arm. Gabriel looked down to find that he was being held up by his brother. "If I leave, you won't be able to finish the trial, and as Sam said, this will all have been for nothing."

"He said that?" Gabriel gasped, eyes wide and beginning to fill with tears. Was that all he was to Sam, a means to an end? Had this always been about the Trials? Had any of it ever been real?

"Gabriel." Castiel said sharply, giving him a little shake. "He meant the pain we are all going through at losing you. And we will lose you Gabe, whether you finish the trials or not. You know that don't you? You've come too far to go back now. You're…" He trailed off, that look of regret and sadness back in his eyes. "You've come too far."

Gabriel exhaled a shaky breath. He knew his brother was telling the truth, but that dark little voice in the back of his mind, the one he'd muted months ago, was back with a vengeance and it was very louder than ever.

They fell back into silence for a few seconds, a battle going on in Gabriel's mind, until Cas said as gently as possible, "We need to go Gabe."

Gabriel's eyes lifted, wide with surprise. "You've never called me that before." He laughed dryly. Castiel shrugged lightly and Gabriel's eyes searched his face, smiling when he saw that chains around the angel had fallen away. "You and Dean-o finally sorted your shit out." He observed proudly, "Good. I'm glad." Only for his happy tone to fade, "Even more reason to go, Cas. I can do this alone. I can…"

"No." Castiel said firmly. "I won't leave you. You are my brother, and if there is one thing I've learn from Sam and Dean, it's that my place is here with you, until the very end."

Gabriel stared, then scoffed, "They're probably not the best role models when it comes to functioning sibling relationships, Cassie."

"I do not agree." Castiel argued defensively. "Would you rather me look to Michael and Lucifer."

"Hell no." Gabriel huffed.

"Gabe, we need…."

Exhaling, Gabriel nodded. "I know." He swallowed at looked down the corridor. Only a few feet between him and death. Straightening as much as his body would allow, he took a shaky step forward, then another. Castiel's arm secure around him, supporting him the whole way.

"You don't remember this, but I did the same thing for you once."

"Oh?" Cas frowned.

"When you walked through the streets of Jerusalem, cross heavy on your back, I was there at your side." Gabriel reminisced, his voice thick with emotion. "And when you fell under its weight, I helped you carry it."

"I – I don't… – Thank you."

Gabriel looked up at his baby brother, "There till the end, right."

Castiel nodded and turned them into the room.

/*\/*\/*\

"I don't like this Dean. I – turn around." Sam argued from the front seat of the impala. "I'm the one that should be there with him. He's my boyfriend."

Dean pressed his lips into a thin line, his fingers white against the steering wheel, and kept driving.

"You don't want this anymore than I do, just turn around and…"

"No." Dean snapped angrily, turning to fix his brother with a broken watery gaze. "No, Sam."

"But Dean…."

"You don't think I want to turn this car around and go back for Cas? You think I want to lose him? I just fucking got him back, but they're right, he has more hope at getting out of this alive that you do. He's cheated death before, and I'm going to have faith that he can do it again. That guy doesn't know how to stay dead." He smiled sadly to himself.

Sam stared at him for a long second, then turned and slouched against the seat, turning to stare out the window. "I didn't even get to tell him goodbye." Sam muttered weakly, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Or that I love him."

Dean exhaled a slow breath and reached out, squeezing his brother's shoulder, "He knows Sammy."

/*\/*\/*\

Castiel half carried Gabriel to the table, held him while his trembling hands fumbled with the syringe. He could use the help, but they couldn't risk it invalidating the trial, so Cas could just stand there, holding the once mighty archangel.

On the chair a few feet away sat Crowley, though it was a mere shadow of his former self. The demon looked up, eyes bloodshot and watery, dark shadows beneath them.

"Castiel?" He said, sounding almost surprised to see him. Which perhaps he was.

"Crowley."

The demon looked to Gabriel and sighed, "This is it then is it? The end."

"Yes." Cas replied with surprising gentleness. Despite everything the demon had done over the years, he couldn't deny that he'd also been an ally.

Crowley nodded, "Would it be possible, Castiel, angel of Thursday? I'd like... To ask you a favour." His voice was weak and uncertain, nothing like the confident demon Cas had known these last few years.

"What?"

"Tell me…" He exhaled, a tear slipping from beneath his lashes, "Where do I start...to even look...for forgiveness...I mean….given my history."

Castiel stared at him, a mixture of mistrust and confusion. "You want forgiveness?"

Crowley nodded, "Perhaps if…if you forgave me, then perhaps I can… - Forgive me Castiel." He pleaded.

Cas exhaled a long breath and swallowed, "It's not my place to…." He looked down at Gabriel when he hissed, his blood filling the small plastic tube. Looking back slowly to the demon, he considered him. A thousand thoughts spiralled through is mind in that second. Everything they'd done to one another over the years, but despite that, Crowley had proven that he had it in him to be a better person, given the chance.

And hadn't he died for the sins of humanity, and Crowley had once been human, and would be again. "Okay, Crowley." Cas said cautiously, "I forgive you."

Crowley stared at him, doubtful and yet hopeful, "Really?"

Slowly, Cas gave a nod. Crowley exhaled and slumped against the chair, relief seemingly flooding through him. "Thank you, Cas. Okay." He tilted his head, presenting himself to Gabriel.

Castiel helped Gabriel over to Crowley, held him as he shakily embedded the needle into the man's neck and pushed down. Pulling back, Gabriel dropped the syringe and lifted the knife in his other hand. Cas hadn't even seen it.

Drawing it across his palm with a pained moan, Gabriel inhaled deeply; he slammed his hand over Crowley's mouth and began to recite the exorcism. It took only a few seconds before there was a small burst of energy as the demonic part of Crowley was destroyed, leaving only a broken human in its place. Crowley slumped forward when Gabriel pulled his hand away and they both staggered backwards.

Turning his head, Gabriel looked at Castiel, "Okay Cassie, it's time for you to get the fuck out of here." He said breathlessly, his whole body shaking.

Carefully Cas let go of his brother, stepping back as Gabriel sank to the concrete floor of the dungeon. "Gabriel."

"Go Cas." Gabe snapped, "Take him with you." He jerked his head to the unconscious demon. – no, ex demon. Closing his eyes, he set his head back on the stone.

Every instinct in Cas told him to stay, but he'd promised Dean, and he wouldn't break it. Not this time. Hurriedly, Cas grabbed the key from the table and unlocked the handcuffs, then lifted the man out of the chair. He looked back at Gabriel. "I'm sorry, brother." His voiced cracked under the weight of his regret.

Gabriel opened his eyes and smiled, "Tell Sammy and Claire I love them, and to live happy lives."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Cas gave a nod. "Of course."

"Go."

Turning, Cas rushed out of the room; behind him he heard a pained moan and then the soft whispery sound of words being recited. He closed his eyes and focused on flight, but – nothing happened.

/*\/*\/*\

Sam stood, his ass resting on the trunk of the Impala while he stared at the horizon. His eyes were sore and itchy from the tears and his heart felt like a withered lump in his chest, barely managing to keep beating.

He startled slightly when Claire set her head on his arm. He'd forgotten there was anyone else with him. Clearly his throat, he lifted his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, pulling her closer. It was just them now.

Footsteps behind him announced Dean's return from the motel office, but he didn't look, he just didn't dare look away. There was part of him that hoped, that prayed, they were wrong, that Gabriel wouldn't die. And as the seconds ticked by, that hope grew stronger and stronger.

It was shattered however a second later when a loud bang echoed in the distance. Sam straightened, heart in his throat, tears rolling down his cheeks. Dean rushed forward, pausing on his left.

"Cas!" He yelled but the angel didn't manifest.

"No!" Claire yelled in unison.

Beneath them the earth shook, and the sound of car alarms filled the silence afternoon. The other guests and owner came running out of the motel, and a car skidded into the entrance.

"Earthquake!" A guest yelled, another screamed in fear. After all, Kansas wasn't known for earthquakes.

Moments later, a massive shock wave crashed into them, sending everyone flying. The last thing Sam thought, as he landed with a crash and a searing burst of agony against the back windshield of the Impala, was Gabriel and how much he wanted him back.

A/N: The next chapter will be the last.