AN: Betcha didn't think you'd get another chapter this fast! I really was just too excited to wait lol. And also, we're at 40 chapters now!

Chapter 40

Harry stared silently out the window from where he sat in his favorite spot in the library. This window faced the backyard, and he could see the Quidditch pitch that Snape had set up for him. He was still in shock that he had an entire pitch just for him, and he couldn't wait for Ron and the twins to come over to play. He snorted as he shook his head. As if that would ever happen.

"Staring off into space is not going to get that essay written," Snape suddenly spoke up from behind him, making Harry jump.

"Two rolls of parchment!" Harry complained loudly as he dropped his quill down onto the table where he was sitting. "That's something you would assign, not Remus. Are you sure you didn't put him up to that?"

Snape shook his head as he came fully into the room and sat down across from Harry. He had some letters in his hand, and he was sorting through them as he said, "I didn't even know what ingredient you had snuck off to look for," he looked up at him then, "but I hope you know that you got off easy all things considered."

Harry sighed. "I know, Snape. You don't have to give me another lecture. You and Remus have both made it very clear: 'No messing with ingredients you don't know about.'" They were the words Snape and Remus had been drilling into him the last few days.

"Yes, well, I hope you don't forget it. How much do you have left to write?"

"Another half of a roll. Please, Snape, can't I go out for just a little while?"

"No, Harry," Snape replied, reading the letter he had just opened. "I let you put it off for as long as I'm willing to allow, but classes start back up next week, and you need to get it done."

"You're older than him, right?" Harry asked suddenly.

"I am, but only by two months, as he routinely tells me." Snape sighed as he folded the letter back up and placed it on the stack with the rest, his brow furrowing as he thought of what it had said.

"Well," Harry said, oblivious to his guardian's subtle change in mood as he pulled one foot up and under him, leaning on the table so that he could get a better look out the window. "Since you're older, couldn't you just overrule him on this? You know, tell him I've learned my lesson, and the essay isn't necessary."

Snape glared at him with a raised eyebrow before standing up. "Sure." He let Harry look up at him hopefully for a moment before he continued. "Of course, then I'd have to go with my original plan of grounding you for two weeks."

Harry groaned, "Snape—"

"No, Harry. Finish the essay. When you finish, if there's still enough light outside, you can go out then. Right now, I need to floo to Hogwarts for a few moments and speak to Dad. Do you want to come with me and work on it in our parlor for a while, or would you rather stay here?"

Harry glared at Snape before lowering his head to rest on his hand and grumbling, "I'll stay here."

Snape nodded. "Call for Jenka if you need anything, but I'll be back shortly." He started to walk out of the library, but he turned back to look at Harry. "And don't go outside and don't—"

"Open the door," Harry finished his sentence with a roll of his eyes. "I got it, Snape. I'm thirteen, not three. You don't have to treat me like a little kid."

"Lose the attitude, Harry," Snape admonished before turning back towards the door and walking out, leaving Harry sulking behind him with nothing to do but focus on his essay.

Severus stepped out of the floo and into Albus's office a few moments later. Albus didn't seem surprised to see his son in the slightest and simply offered him a piece of his current favorite candy, Licorice Leeches. Severus, of course, declined and took a seat in front of the large, ornate desk before passing him the letter he had just received.

"It's from the Ministry," Severus explained when Albus looked from the letter in his hand up to his son. "It's Ms. Bouchard's findings and recommendations.

"I see," Albus said quietly, unfolding the letter and reading the neat handwriting of the social worker. He read through it twice before he placed it down on the desk and looked at Severus quietly for a long moment, taking in the way he sat, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair and pulling at his bottom lip with his fingers. A habit— much like the way Remus bit his thumbnail— always let Albus know Severus was nervous. Severus was so lost in thought that he didn't notice that Albus had finished reading the letter.

"Severus," Albus began quietly, "I know you're worried—"

"Worried?" Severus interrupted and huffed at his father's choice of words. "Of course I'm worried. A second round of interviews? Dad, what is that supposed to mean?"

"I confess that I do not know. I can't imagine why the Ministry would need such a thing; however, my only thought would be that perhaps it is Harry's status that is making them want to take extra care in their decision."

"They want to sit in on our class! They want to see how we act around each other in class. How am I—" Severus cut himself off and took a deep breath. Then he stood up and began to pace the office from the desk to the door and back again.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Severus," Albus said, hoping that he would calm down so that he could get whatever was bothering him off of his chest. He had known that something was worrying his oldest for the last week, but so far hadn't had any luck in discovering what it might be. However, with this news, he was determined to get him to open up.

Severus sighed as he turned back around to face the man he knew and loved more than his biological father: the man who had taught him how to be a man himself; who had helped him get past the anger and resentment he felt towards Tobias Snape; the man who had given him everything but his name.

"Tell me that you need for me to remain a spy," Severus said quietly. His dark eyes locked with Albus's blue ones, desperately searching for something there that would tell him what to do. "Tell me that my job is too important to give up and that I would be foolish even to consider it."

"No," Albus said simply. He had thought it might be something like this. Truthfully, he had wondered why it had taken as long as it had for his boy to realize just how much he had come to care for Harry.

"Dad—" Severus started, his expression pained as his forehead creased and his mouth pulled down in a frown.

"No," Albus said again, standing up and walking around the desk so that he was face to face with Severus. "Severus, if I can give you any piece of advice right now, it would be this: do not make the same mistakes with Harry that I made with you and Remus. I should have never hidden the fact that we adopted either of you. It only caused more problems. How many of yours and Remus's fights were because he wanted to be honest with his friends? He wanted to tell them about you, Severus. But because we were too afraid of that information being used against us, we forced him to lie. I forced you both to keep secrets, which made it easier for you to become a spy. That brought you into his ranks. It put you exactly where I'd always feared. I do not discount the value in the information you have given us during the war, Severus. I would never want you to think that you are not appreciated or that your sacrifice isn't worthy, but I would just as soon have you safe. If I could do one thing differently, it would be that I would have told the world you were my son and worried about the rest later."

Severus swallowed hard. He bowed his head slightly and clasped his hands behind his back before looking back up at Albus. "You know what it would mean if—"

Albus raised a hand to stop Severus's following words. "I know that I would fight for you with my last breath. What would be foolish, Severus, is to let Harry lose you to a role that you have already given up so much for. I know the dangers that a decision like this could bring and that we would be careless to think that he may never come back. You know my feelings on that matter, but if you let what may happen outweigh the time you have with Harry now, you'll grow up old, and without the world ever knowing you knew the love of a child." Severus sighed but nodded, holding his father's gaze, understanding more about the man in the last few moments than he had in the last twenty years.

"And if he does come back? Or the real Death Eaters come?" Severus asked, not liking the fear in his voice, and especially considering that it was all his fault that he was in this position in the first place.

"Then they'll have to get through me first."

Severus left Dumbledore's office feeling overall better about the situation, though he couldn't help but wonder how to make it work. He wanted Harry to know how he truly felt. He wanted him to see that he cared about him enough to want to share it with everyone, Voldemort and Death Eater scum be damned. But suddenly, as he walked back towards the library and found Harry in the same spot he'd left him, scribbling away on his essay, all of his old insecurities came rushing back to the surface.

What if he didn't want this?

What if something happened to him?

What if the Ministry didn't allow him to stay, and it was all for nothing?

"Snape?" Severus looked up and saw Harry watching him closely. "Are you just going to stand there staring at me? That's not creepy at all."

Severus narrowed his eyes at the boy before walking over to him. "How much of your essay do you have left?"

Harry's eyes widened. "You've barely been gone twenty minutes, Snape. I've hardly written anything. This stupid plant is so boring! I don't see how Remus can expect me to get two rolls of parchment out of it," he continued to whine, causing Severus to look down at him sternly.

"Take a break," he suddenly said. "I want to talk to you."

"I didn't do anything," Harry said quickly, even as he put the lid on his ink bottle and got up to follow Severus into the living room.

"I don't recall saying that you had."

"Well, I'm just putting it out there." Severus took a seat on the couch, and Harry was instantly on edge. Severus hardly ever sat on the sofa, usually preferring to sit in his armchair.

"What's happened?" Harry asked, still standing off to the side.

"Nothing's happened, Harry," Severus assured him as he patted the seat next to him. "Would you just sit down a moment?" When Harry still didn't sit, Severus sighed. "I heard back from the Ministry today."

Severus watched as the color drained from Harry's face and his shoulders slumped before he silently sat down next to him. Harry held his hands in his lap, dropping his head and turning it slightly so that Severus couldn't see his face.

"It's alright, Harry," Severus said, putting his arm on the back of the couch behind Harry and turning his body so that his back was facing the arm.

"I'm not going anywhere else, Snape," Harry's voice was thick with emotion, and suddenly Severus knew he was making the right decision.

"No. You're not."

Harry looked up at him, "I'm not?"

Severus shook his head. "No."

"Then what did they say?" Harry wanted to know, turning around in the seat so that he was facing Severus. He pulled one leg up onto the couch cushion and placed the other over it so that he was sitting nearly cross-legged on the small sofa.

"They want to do another round of interviews." Before Harry could ask why, Severus continued, "I'm not sure why, but Dad thinks it may just be because of who you are and your status in the Wizarding World."

"That's not fair!" Harry cried at the injustice of it all.

"I know it's not, but that's just the way that it is, and we'll have to go along with it. They also want to sit in on one of our classes together. I suppose they want to see how the two of us interact around others."

Harry blanched again. "But no one else knows about us! How will they see how we—"

"I'm not sure they realized we were keeping it a secret," Severus answered. "But it's not anything for you to worry about, Harry. We'll get through this."

"Then what are they going to say when you're mean to me in class?" Harry asked, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at a spot on the floor.

"I'm not going to be."

"Yeah, as if that wouldn't be suspicious. Is Severus Snape suddenly being nice to Harry Potter? The class would all think you'd lost your mind like Lockhart or something."

Severus sighed. "They might, but it won't be because I'm nice to you. It'll probably be a couple of classes before when I tell everyone that I'm your new guardian and that I'm planning to try to adopt you."

Harry snorted with laughter before looking up at Severus. When he saw that Severus wasn't laughing with him, he furrowed his eyebrows and said, "What are you playing at, Snape? You know that we can't tell anyone."

"Why not?" Severus asked calmly.

"Because you're a spy, that's why!" Harry was growing concerned with the way Severus was acting. "Since when are you so daft?!"

"What if I wasn't a spy?"

"But you are! Don't be ridiculous, Snape."

"I'm not, Harry. I'm serious. I want to give up being a spy. I know that it's dangerous, but I don't care. I care about you. I care about you having more than your would-be initials tattooed on your arm," he said, repeating the words Harry had used that night when he'd seen the tattoo. "I care about giving you a family. A loving, stable family. One that you don't have to keep hidden. Would that be alright with you? Would it be okay if I petitioned the Ministry for adoption? I know it's a long shot, but I'm willing to try if you are?"

Harry's mouth fell open wide as he took in Severus's words. "You mean that? You want to adopt me?"

"I do," Severus replied. "There's a very real chance that they'll say no to adoption even if they say yes to permanent guardianship. You understand that?"

Harry was already nodding. "Yes, I understand, and I don't care. I-I want this, Snape."

"Alright, then," Severus said, letting his hand drop from the back of the couch to Harry's shoulders. "There's just one more thing." Harry looked at him, eager to do anything that might help them get approval for adoption. "Ms. Bouchard is recommending that you…" Severus trailed off, knowing that Harry wouldn't agree so quickly to the next issue. "She's recommending that you talk to a professional, someone who is trained to help you deal with the abuse."

"Snape—"

"I know," Severus said quickly, wanting to avoid an argument when they were both already so happy. "I know that's the last thing you want to do, and I understand, Harry, but she seems rather insistent on it. And I don't know that it wouldn't be something that they could deny us over."

Harry sighed. "But I don't want to talk to some stranger about it. I don't want them to know how— how ashamed I feel when I think about everything he did." Harry dropped his head, and Snape heard him sniff before he looked back up at him through his fringe of dark hair. "I don't want them to know how scared I get when the nightmares come."

Severus put his arm around Harry and pulled him close, resting his chin atop his head and closing his eyes. "I know, Harry." He could feel the boy shaking as he cried into his chest, knowing from experience how hard it had been for Harry to admit his feelings like that. "But they're not going to judge you about any of that, I promise. They can help you."

Harry pulled away as he looked back up into his guardian's dark eyes. "But you didn't talk to anyone, and you're alright."

Harry's words felt like a blow to Severus's stomach, and he shook his head. "No, Harry, I'm not. And that's why I want you to do this. Please," he pleaded with the boy in front of him.

Harry clenched his jaw and stubbornly looked away. When he finally glanced back, Severus noticed a fierceness in his emerald eyes. "Fine," he answered. "But if they're so much help, then you should have to talk to one too."

Severus didn't want to admit how afraid the idea of talking to someone about something so private made him feel, but he also knew that he would do that and more if it meant that Harry didn't grow up to be like him. He nodded once. "Fine. I'll find us both someone after the new year."

Harry nodded his acceptance and sat back against the couch, letting Snape's arm drape comfortably across his shoulders once more. Neither said anything more on the matter as both were too lost in their thoughts, but Harry thought that something had changed between them that day, and he couldn't wait to see what the next few weeks had in store.

But more than that, he couldn't wait to see the look on Draco's face when Snape called him Harry in class!