Introducing Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru
Lucasdiaz9000 - I can try that when he appears
TLHfanficReader21 - Thank you!
That Engineer - Thank you!
Redflare5000 - In both a good and bad way
Ferpaez99 and Outback Quack-X24 - I understand your criticism and I respect that. But I want to be clear that that part was a suggestion, though not really a good one. As Guest2000 points out, Lincoln wasn't mad over cereal, only that his efforts of hard work ended up going to waste and ended up taking all the blame because of it and no one stood up for him.
Guest2000 THAT WAS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! Also, thank you for both the dialogue and what I was trying to prove with that story. And yes, I will include those flashbacks. And I think it's gonna be a good movie!
Guest 1 - Thank you! Something like that will happen.
Quick thing, not all suggestions may end up benign used. Some I will use, and some I won't use, not because I hate them, but because they just might not work.
Also, I'm not trying to bash the Loud sisters. That is not what I'm aiming for.
This is them AND Lincoln, Clyde, Lynn Sr., Rita, and many other characters learning their lessons and earning more about each other to increase their trust.
Enjoy!
Title Card: Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru
"Uh oh…" mumbled Clyde.
Everyone saw Lincoln's eyes widen in horror and he made the sign of the cross. He then looked at Zach, Rusty, Girl Jordan, and Mollie with a regretful expression.
"Is he ok?" asked Sid.
"Just watch." was all Clyde could say.
Lincoln and Clyde: " Ohhhhhhhhh... Mama's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin'. Mama's little baby loves short'nin'... "
Clyde: " Breeeeeeeaaaaaad! "
"Nice ending Clyde!" praised Luna.
"Yeah, just like when you and Lincoln nailed the solo in the Glee Club performance!" added Paula.
Clyde smiled.
Lincoln: "Very nice, Clyde!" [to the viewers] "Clyde and I have a week to start a successful business for class. So we're gonna sell homemade chocolate pie!"
"Chocolate pie!?" several people said at once.
"That sounds delicious!" said CJ.
"Oh I hope we can have that next eating break!" said Sid.
"Hopefully." the Loud sisters said in unison, daydreaming about chocolate.
Clyde: "We've never baked before. But how hard could it be? Everybody loves chocolate pie. My nana says that if they don't, you can't trust them."
"What about if their lactose intolerant?" asked Principal Rivers.
"She's right, milk is in chocolate." nodded Norm.
"Oh, my Mom didn't hear about that until just earlier this year." said Harold.
Lincoln: [opens the shelf, seeing nothing but...] "What? Empty wrappers. I should have known."
Clyde: "It wasn't me! I was with you the whole time."
Lincoln: [closes the shelf] "I know, Clyde. It was my sisters. They're well-known chocoholics."
[Flashback to the sisters enjoying the chocolate bars.]
Lori: "Mmm."
Luna and Luan: "Mmm."
Leni, Lynn, Lucy and Lisa: [sighing]
Lana and Lola: "Mmm."
Lily: [giggles]
[Flashback ends]
"Girls! Did you know that the chocolate was for school work?!" Albert demanded as he, Rita and Lynn Sr, glared at the girls.
"Well…" Lori said nervously, scratching her head.
"We thought eating one wouldn't matter much." Luan said nervously.
"But that wasn't JUST one." Rita said sternly.
"But it was really delicious!" Lola said dramatically.
"Yeah, plus Lincoln should have known we can't resist chocolate." added Lynn, crossing her arms.
"That's not the point!" Lynn Sr, snapped, making the girls flinch.
"In first place you should have asked him if you could have some. Secondly if you knew he needed those for school you shouldn't have grabbed them!" Albert said sternly.
"Thinking about it this is like the third time you had messed up with Lincoln's school work." Girl Jordan said with a frown.
"She's right." said Sid. "You kept giving him a hard time at home nearly making him late to get to school, and you wouldn't stick to perservign your energy up to the point where Lincoln had to be a one man generator, powering up your house with a bike!"
"You're lucky he got a passing grade." added Ronnie anne.
"And I have the feeling this won't be the last time." Principal Huggins said with a glare, making the Loud sisters more nervous.
Clyde: "Well, what are we gonna do? I already rolled out 84 pie crusts!"
"84 pies?!" Winston exclaimed. "How much chocolate did you all eat?!"
"A lot I'd say." says Skippy. "Those bars looked too small for one pie each."
"All of that wasn't cheap either." added Lincoln, making the girls wince.
Lincoln: "We'll just replace the chocolate with something equally delicious."
[Cut to the business fair where Artie is taking a bite out of one of their pies only to spit it out.]
Artie: [disgusted] "Ugh! What the heck kind of pie is this?"
Lincoln and Clyde: "Salt and vinegar."
Artie: "Gross!" [puts the pie back and walks away]
Clyde: "I don't get it. It works on potato chips."
"Yeah I don't think those two are good to eat by themselves or mixed together." said Benny.
Lincoln: "Any other ideas?"
Clyde: "How about we sell hugs? My dads say I'm an excellent hugger."
"Clyde sure is." said Howard with a smile.
Clyde chuckled a bit.
Lynn Sr.: [frustrated cleaning the van] "Aw, dang bird poop! Don't you feather-brains have somewhere else to hang out?"
"I always hate it when that happens." said Bobby.
"What? We birds are free to do what we want!" said Sergio.
"Not in my casa." Rosa said sternly.
"Hey Walt, think you can tell your bird friends not to poop on Vanzilla, or the house, or us next time?" asked Lana.
Walt chirped a "Yes."
"Thanks buddy." smiled Lana.
Lincoln: [gets an idea] "Clyde, that's it!"
Clyde: "Bird poop?"
Everyone facepalmed.
Lincoln: "We can sell birdhouses!"
Clyde: "Oh! Great idea! But wait. We don't know anything about woodworking."
Lincoln: "Eh, how hard could it be?"
[pounding and whirring' their first birdhouse is shoddily built with popsicle sticks and bandages.]
Clyde: "I can't believe I doubted us."
Lincoln: "Ah! Our first resident!"
[bird chirps, screams, caws away and poops on ruined birdhouse.]
"Yeah I'm not good with woodworking." said Lincoln.
"You could have asked your Mom for help. I know she is really good at building those things and could teach you." said Albert.
"I actually did that once, we'll probably see it in the future, although I messed up that too." Lincoln replied.
Rita thought about that...in part she wondered if maybe she should have tried to teach Lincoln instead of simply telling him to do it himself. Thinking harder she wondered if she missed an opportunity to bond with her son.
[Lincoln crosses birdhouses off his list.]
Clyde: "How about we sell smiles? My dads say I have a million-dollar smile." [smiles]
Lincoln: "Well..."
[door clicks and thuds.]
Luan: [dressed as a clown, counting money earned.] "98, 99..."
Lincoln: "Whoa! Where'd you get all that money, Luan?"
Clyde: "Did you sell...laughter?"
Luan: "Ha! Laughter? It's my pleasure to give that away for free. This is from selling balloon animals. Observe. [She blows a large pink balloon and shapes it into...] "A dog! Now pick up the pace, Fido! It's the leash you can do!" [laughs as she goes upstairs; comes back for a minute.] "No charge."
"Impressive Luan." commented Benny.
"Yeah I love making balloon animals." added Giggles.
"Thanks." Luan smiled. Even if Benny wasn't sitting beside her, at least he was still talking to her.
"And how much was that for your brother to buy more chocolate?" Rita asked strnly.
Luan laughed nervously at her mom's glare.
"We'll go ahead and guess no one gave you something for more chocolate." Ronnie Anne deadpanned.
"Sorry Linc." Luan said.
"Eh, either way, it was your money you earned." Lincoln replied.
Lincoln and Clyde: "We'll sell balloon animals! How hard could it be?"
[However, it's not as easy as Luan makes it look. Lincoln tries to work on a balloon until it pops.]
Lincoln: "Ah!"
"Yeah it takes a lot of practice." said Luan.
"She's right. Not all of us can master it overnight." said Giggles.
Clyde: "Lincoln! Look professional! We've got a customer!
Liam: "Uh, I'll take the, uh, cheeseburger?"
Clyde: "It's a bunny rabbit."
Liam: "Even better!" [whispers] "It's for a girl I like."
"Aw, Liam has a crush!" Stella said happily.
"It was for a little while." said Liam, blushing bashfully.
Lincoln: "You know, Liam, if it's for a girl, you should get her chocolate. All my sisters love it."
Liam: "Oh, cool! Thanks Lincoln." [runs off]
"Good advice Lincoln." said Sam.
"Yeah, but that'll be the only good advice I give on that day that." muttered Lincoln.
Those who didn't know about the incident were confused.
Clyde: "Lincoln, you just lost our only customer."
Lincoln: "Relax, Clyde. With this sweet product, there's gonna be plenty more."
[Sometime later, Lincoln and Clyde are sleeping while nobody seems to be coming to their stand; Liam comes back.]
Liam: "Hey, Lincoln!"
[Lincoln and Clyde wake up in a shock with balloons popping.]
Clyde: Ah, take cover!"
Liam: "She loved the chocolate! We have a date this Friday!"
"Congratulations Liam!" said Leni.
"Thank your brother! It was his advice that worked." Liam replied.
Lincoln: "Oh, great! I guess with ten sisters. I've learned a few things about girls."
Everyone had thought, "No way that's gonna work." and much to their shock, it did. Lincoln had that confident grin, arrogance nearly getting to him again, forgetting how this mess came back to bite him in the ass like a steel bear trap.
The girls affected by Lincoln's upcoming advice all glared at him, and that's when his arrogance quickly burned to ashes, remembering how badly his advice backfired on him.
Girl Jordan said, in this matter-of-fact voice, "That was mere beginner's luck, and you know it, Lincoln. Let me break it to you this way: just because your sisters are female does NOT mean that what worked for them would always work for us. Your biggest mistake, behind that faulty logic, is assuming you know how all women work based on that alone. It's because of your faulty logic that I'm not calling you a sexist, you just made a huge generalization."
Lincoln argued, getting upset and defensive, "But, it worked for Liam! And I'm not sexist, I just made a mistake, okay?! One that I'll never make again! Try to see it from my point of view, though: you're an 11 year old boy and one of your pals asks for advice with the ladies. I couldn't just say, 'I didn't know' and look stupid! I didn't know what you liked or disliked, jeez! I'm not fucking psychic, hello?!"
Lincoln quickly put his hand over his mouth, he couldn't believe he let that word slip, and even Ronnie Anne didn't see that one coming, by the shocked expression on her face.
Lynn Sr. walked over to his son and said, "...We're all gonna pretend we didn't hear that, and I'd like to impart a little wisdom onto you. Man-to-man."
Bobby stood up and said, "I wanna say some things to him, too. I'll be right back, babe." he said too Lori.
Both Bobby and Lynn Sr. take Lincoln 50 feet away to the southeast so they could chat in private.
Lynn Sr. started first, "Son... the first thing you gotta know is: just because something was a success with your sisters, doesn't mean it'll be a success with EVERY woman you meet. Every woman is unique, my boy, but something tells me you learned that lesson the hardest way possible, huh?"
Lincoln nodded his head, blushing in embarrassment about what happened later.
Bobby jumped in, "Lesson number two, little man: you don't know for 100% how a woman's mind works, no matter how many girls in the family you have. Trust me, I've tried to completely figure out Lori and although I know about her like the back of my hand, she'll probably react to something I say in a way that I don't see coming. The moment you think you know how a woman's mind works is when you're truly screwed, and I say that from experience. I tried the same trick using what I knew about mom; didn't always work, if at all. When in doubt, see lesson number two."
Lincoln nodded, and said, "Well... I get where you guys are coming from, but you saw how things worked out with Liam!"
Bobby shook his head in disagreement and said, "Nah. Like Girl Jordan said, you just got lucky once. But just because you get lucky once, does not mean you should push your luck. You've seen what happens to people at casinos who got lucky once, right? Thought they were in a hot streak only because they won once. What generally happened to those people, Little Loud?"
Lincoln answered sadly, "They usually ended up crashing-and-burning, didn't they?" Lynn Sr. and Bobby nod in approval.
"From whatever happens next, we hope that you learned your lesson." said Lynn Sr.
"Believe me Dad. And Bobby. I did." Lincoln nodded.
"That's good." Bobby said in approval, ruffling Lincoln's hair.
With that, the three men sat back down with the others.
Liam: [grabs Lincoln's face] "Oh, don't be so modest. You're like a girl guru." [leaves]
Lincoln: "Clyde, I think Liam-" [picks up Clyde] "I think Liam just gave us our next business idea."
Lincoln and Clyde: "How hard could it be?"
"YOU GAVE HIM THAT IDEA?!" Girl Jordan, Mollie, Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lana, and Lis exclaimed at the same time.
"Ehehe… my bad." Liam said sheepishly.
GIRL GURU: $1.00 PER QUESTION
Clyde: "Step right up and ask the Girl Guru. He's got the goods on the gals, the facts on the females, the lowdown on the ladies."
[exotic instrumental music]
Everyone who wasn't there that day stared at Lincoln's outfit in shock and disbelief.
"What the heck is that?" asked Stella.
"Nice outfit Loud!" said Mr. Grouse.
"You look so ridiculous!' exclaimed Carl.
Customers: [gasping] "Me! Me!"
Andrew: "Oh, Girl Guru, I'm hanging out with Jordan later, and I really want it to go well. What do girls think is fun?"
Lincoln: "Hmmm."
[A flashback shows Lynn doing the Dutch oven on him while he's playing video games in a blanket.]
Lynn: "Hey, Lincoln. What's more fun than a Canadian microwave? A Dutch oven!" [wraps herself with Lincoln and blows a fart so big it inflates the blanket with them underneath it.]
Lincoln: [yells]
Lynn: [laughing]
Lincoln: [grunting]
[flashback ends]
"Seriously Lynn?!" gagged Lola.
"What? I was just having fun with him!" Lynn protested.
"It doesn't even look like Lincoln enjoys it!" said Carlota.
"What about when he gave her one when she was staying in his room?" asked Leni.
"That was to get her to leave." reminded Becky.
"Besides Lynn, I think Lana would enjoy Dutch ovens more than I would, remember?" reminded Lincoln.
"It's true! I don't mind them at all!" Lana said in agreement.
"Yeah, you're right." Lynn agreed.
Lincoln: "Dutch ovens."
Andrew: "Really?"
Clyde: [pushes Andrew away] "The Girl Guru has answered your question, and as you can see, many other boys await his wisdom."
"Unless you're a girl like Lynn and Lana, I doubt any other woman would enjoy Dutch ovens." said Nikki.
"True that." nodded Dana.
Luna and Sam traded glances.
"Think we should tell them how we give each other a Dutch oven every now and then?" Luna whispered snickering.
Sam giggled. "If the subject is ever brought up after we reveal ourselves." she whispered back.
Clyde: [to Lincoln] "You do know what you're doing, right?"
Lincoln: "I don't know. Why don't you ask Liam?"
[Liam and his girlfriend pass by; Liam's girlfriend, who's chewing on a chocolate bar at the moment, kisses him on the cheek, leaving a heart-shaped chocolate smudge.]
Liam: "Hee-hee!"
At the sight of that girl kissing Liam, Tabby couldn't help but give a jealous look at Liam as her eye twitch.
"Cool yourself Tabs." said Polly. "You two didn't even meet yet. Plus, I heard that it didn't last."
Tabby calmed down.
"Yeah, you're right." she said.
Clyde: "And that's why you're wearing the robe and I'm wearing the fanny pack. Who's next?"
Rusty: "How do I get a girl to fall for me?"
Lincoln: "Omm..."
[A flashback shows Lynn Sr. telling a bedtime story to Lola.]
Lynn Sr.: "And so the young knight returned Princess Taylor to her tower five minutes before curfew, and no one was punished, and everything worked out great. The end. Good night, sweetie."
Everyone gushed at the cute scene.
"It's so sweet seeing a parent read a bedtime story to their kid!" sobbed Frida.
Lola: [wakes up] "Hey, where do you think you're going? More knight and horsey stories!"
[flashback ends]
"Sheesh, demanding much?" asked Rocky.
"What, I like them!" Lola argued. "Mommy, Daddy, and Linky know how to read them well."
Lincoln, Rita, and Lynn Sr. smiled at that.
Lincoln: "You're going to need a stallion and a suit of armor."
Rusty: "Oh, thank you, Girl Guru. Thank you. Thank you."
"That's a bit much." said Ronnie Anne.
"But it does sound cool." said Joey.
"The results beg to differ." said Rusty.
Zach: "Oh, Girl Guru, I like this girl. But she doesn't think I'm good enough for her. How do I change her mind?"
[A flashback shows when Lisa was talking to Lily about a boy.]
Lisa: "Dylan Cornheiser tried to hold my hand at recess. I told him, learn basic chemistry, and then we'll talk."
[Lincoln was listening on the side of the door; flashback ends.]
Lincoln: "Simple. Learn basic chemistry."
Zach: "Oh, man, I stink at chemistry. What about kickball?"
Clyde: [pushes Zach away] "The Girl Guru has spoken."
"Now that kind of chemistry!" groaned Lisa.
"Are you good at kickball Zach?" asked Sameer.
"Somedays are better than others wortht that sport." Zach replied.
"I'm the master at kickball!" said Lynn proudly.
"Stop the presses." Haiku deadpanned.
Lincoln: [speaks to Papa Wheelie] "Nothing makes my sister Lana happier than a frog in her pants." [speaks to Flat Tire] "Take her to a funeral. My sister Lucy swears by it." [speaks to Coach Pacowski] "Roses are fine, but squirting flowers will really make her day."
Coach Pacowski: [writing that down] "Squirting flowers... make... her... day. Thanks, Loud. See you in gym."
"Who's that guy?" asked Carl.
"That's our gym teacher, Coach Pacowski." said Lana.
"Honestly Lincoln, while your advice seems good for the most part, it doesn't work for all girls." said Lori.
"Yeah, the only other girls that I know that enjoy funerals would be Haiku and Persephone." said Lucy.
Haiku and Persephone nodded in agreement.
"And I only know some girls that like frogs down their pants like me." added Lana.
"And not many people like getting their faces squirted by flowers." added Luan.
"And I'm one of them." added Mrs. Johnson.
"I know that now…" sighed Lincoln.
[bell rings]
Lincoln: "Clyde, our business is killing it! I think we're looking at an A." [spins with Clyde] "Worst-case scenario, A minus."
Clyde: "Tell me about it. I had to triple up on fanny packs just to hold all the money we made."
Andrew: [farts]
Jordan: [screams and coughs] "You jerk!"
Andrew: "But the Girl Guru said you'd love a Dutch oven."
Jordan: "Maybe you'd love an American wedgie!"
Andrew: [screams and runs]
"That seriously stunk, Lincoln!" Girl Jordan hissed.
Lincoln flinched and looked away.
Lincoln: "Well, you can't expect advice to work 100 percent of the time." [closes locker with Clyde]
[frog croaking and jumping on Joy's head.]
Joy: "Ew, ew, ew, ew! Gross! Get it off!"
Papa Wheelie: "But the Girl Guru said-"
Joy: "Get him, girls!"
Girls: [growling] "Get him!"
[They chase Papa Wheelie across the hall.]
"I'd say that's a bit of karma on him for insulting you." said Carol.
"Yeah, but I should've given better advice." Lincoln groaned.
Lincoln: "That is not on us. He must have picked a bad frog."
Clyde: [popping out of a trash can] "Let's just get back to class before they come back."
[Mrs. Johnson's classroom]
Flat Tire: "Hey, Mollie, you want to go on a date with me?"
Mollie: "Um, yeah."
Flat Tire: "Great! I'm gonna need you to wear this." [puts veil on Mollie] "Ah, there's the hearse. We're going to a funeral. How strong are you? They might need an extra pallbearer."
Mollie: [disgusted] "Ew! Yuck! [moves to another desk] Get away from me, you morbid weirdo!"
"Well, honestly. After seeing he mocked your bike just because it looks girly, there's no way I'll date with that jerk, with or without your stupid advice." said Mollie.
Lincoln managed a small smile.
[Flat Tire stares at Lincoln and Clyde who gulp in response.]
Coach Pacowski: "This is for you, Agnes."
Mrs. Johnson: "Daisies are my favorite!" [gets squirted] "Ah!" [pushes Coach Pacowski away] "You yokel! I just had my hair done."
Coach Pacowski: "But, Agnes, the Girl Guru said-" [points at Lincoln and Clyde] "Hope you boys like push-ups!"
"Now you got an adult mad at you for it. And it's the gym teacher." Laird gulped.
Mrs. Johnson glared at Lincoln, who looked away in shame.
Lincoln: "Uh, Mrs. Johnson, can I have the boys' bathroom pass?"
Clyde: "And I'll take the girls'."
"Why would you even take the girls' bathroom pass?" asked Luna. "That's just asking for tougher kids to beat you up."
"I was desperate to get outta there too." said Clyde.
[They're both running down the hallway.]
Kat: [yells]
[explosion]
Zach: "I was trying to impress you with my basic chemistry skills."
Kat: "You burnt my braids, you doofus!"
Zach: "He told me to do it!"
Kat: "What?"
[Lincoln and Clyde laugh nervously and run to the boys' room.]
"While Lincoln's advice was poor, you should've followed any simple instructions with what you were trying to show Kat with that chemistry experiment." said Lisa.
"I can barely understand the words!" Zach exclaimed.
Lincoln looked down in guilt.
Clyde: "Lincoln, I'm starting to lose feeling in my toes. I think it's a panic attack."
Lincoln: "It's okay. Just breathe into your paper bag."
Clyde: [picks up paper bag and gasps] "Mmm. Oops." [chuckles] "Wrong bag. That was my lunch." [switches bags and inhales and exhales sharply.]
[Horse neighs]
Rusty: [wearing a suit of armor] "Whoa, White Lightning, stop! Sadie, do you want to go to the movies?" [picks up Sadie]
Sadie: [screams]
[White Lightning crashes and Rusty's armor flies everywhere.]
"That could've gone better." said Becky.
"That horse and armor costed me a lot man!" Rusty said with a glare.
Lincoln hid behind Ronnie Anne.
Lincoln: "Let me have the bag." [Clyde hands it to him and he starts breathing heavily.]
Clyde: "Lincoln, we gotta get out of here."
Kat: "The next time I see that Girl Guru, I'll totally destroy him!"
Joy: "Yeah, and his weird little friend too."
[The trash cans sprout legs and move across the hallway; reveal to be Lincoln and Clyde hiding in them popping their heads out and seeing their customers groaning in pain; they hide and a girl puts a plastic water bottle in Clyde's trash can.]
Clyde: [pops out] "Um, excuse me. That goes in the recycling."
Lincoln: "Clyde! Keep it down!"
"You doofus…" groaned Ronnie Anne, facepalming.
Student: "Hey! It's them!"
[Lincoln and Clyde scream and run for it with their customers shouting indistinctly and giving chase.]
Student: "Stop!"
Lincoln: "Give them their money back." That'll stop them.
[Clyde throws their money.]
Clyde: "Here! Take it, you wild animals!"
[The enraged males ignore their refunds, too determined to get back at Lincoln and Clyde.]
Lincoln: "Huh, didn't stop them."
"He gave you your money back, why are you still chasing him?" asked Boris.
"Well… I only joined in because I thought that we were going to take our money back by force, but I didn't realize at the time that we were actually going to beat them up. " admitted Rusty. "And I was too caught up in the chase to notice that Clyde had already thrown our money back to us."
Clyde: "I know what to do." [stops running] "Free hugs!"
[The mob doesn't seem eager to stop for free hugs.]
Clyde: "Uh, on second thought, there may not be enough of me to go around." [continues running]
"Like that's gonna stop them." scoffed Carl.
[Later that night at the Loud House, the girls are watching TV until they notice Lincoln and Clyde panting and covering the curtains.]
Lori: "Oh, boy. What did you two do now?"
"How often do you ask that question?" asked Roger.
"Not often, but it's older sister tuition," said Lori.
Clyde: "L-L-L-Lori?" [breathing sharply and moaning]
Lincoln: "Um, you wouldn't be interested."
Lola: "Oh, we're interested. Spill!"
Lincoln: "Well, Clyde and I had to start a business for school, so we kind of, uh, charged boys for my advice about girls."
[A pause; all the girls start laughing.]
Lincoln: "Go ahead; get it out of your systems."
[All the girls still laughing.]
Lincoln: "Are you done now?"
Lori: "Uh... no." [continues laughing with her sisters.] "Lincoln, what do you know about girls?"
Mollie looked over at the Loud sisters. "You do realize this is partially your fault." she said.
"Um no it isn't, Lincoln literally showed he knows nothing about girls." Lori retorted.
Mollie glared at them. "First you girls forced him to make up a new business idea on the spot after you ate the chocolate he was planning on using, and second Lincoln might not know everything about girls, but he does know a decent amount, and compared to most of the other boys he's probably the kindest and most caring."
Then out of nowhere, Mollie walked over to Lincoln and hugged him causing all the girls sans Ronnie Anne to "Aww!" at the scene in front of them while Ronnie Anne put her hands over his face trying to hide the fact she's blushing in jealousy.
As Mollie went back to her spot, Lincoln gared at his sisters, saying, "I mean, I WOULDN'T have had to result in coming up with another business idea anyway if you didn't EAT MY PROJECT! Which I'm pretty sure I labeled with 'DO NOT TOUCH'!"
"He's gotcha there." Chaz admitted in agreement.
The girls looked down in shame, knowing that Lincoln and Mollie were right.
Lincoln: "Well, I just thought that since I had ten sisters-"
Luan: "What's true for us isn't gonna be true for every girl. We're not all the same."
Lola: "I'm not like Lana!"
Lana: "And thank goodness for that." [high fives Lola]
"They do have points." said Rocky. "I'm not like Rusty."
"And I'm not like CJ and whatever Carlitos will be when he grows up." said Carl.
"And I'm not like my sister either." added Carol.
Lincoln: "Oh, man, you're right. What have I done? I've doled out terrible advice, and now everybody at school hates us. How am I gonna fix this?"
Clyde: "Uh, we better figure something out. I'm running out of paper bags."
Lynn Sr.: "A kitchen full of pie? I guess it's ol' Dad's lucky day!" [laughs and takes a bite as his stomach grumbles in nausea.] "Ooh, bad!"
Lincoln: "We went a little overboard on the salt."
Lynn Sr.: "I'll say. It's an as-salt on my senses!"
[Rimshot]
Luan: [laughing] "Good one, Dad."
"Sure was Mr. Loud!" Benny chuckled.
Lynn Sr.: "Ah, sorry, Lincoln. We're just gonna have to toss the whole batch."
Lincoln: "Toss them? That's a great idea, Dad. Clyde, we're back in business."
[Dollar sign transition]
"Not a good business." sighed Lincoln.
"Why, what happened?" asked Sid.
Lincoln: "How hard can it be to start a business? Pretty hard, actually. The key is to find something you're really good at, and it turns out for me that thing is..." [gets hit with a pie] "Taking a pie in the face."
Clyde: "Step right up and get your revenge on the Girl Guru. 2 dollars a pie."
"Oh." said Sid.
"Well that's one way to win your classmates back." said Fransisco.
"How many pies did you take to the face?" asked Lucy.
"So. Many. Pies…" was all Lincoln said.
[people start paying Clyde while speaking at once.]
Mrs. Johnson: "Great job, boys! This is a fantastic business idea!"
Clyde: "Thanks, Mrs. Johnson."
Mrs. Johnson: "One pie, please." [pays]
Coach Pacowski: "And two for me." [pays]
"They're actually a part of this too?!" Carlos exclaimed.
"How did Principal Huggins approve of this?!" asked Lynn Sr.
"I didn't." Principal Huggins said as he glared at Mrs. Johnson, who flinched.
Clyde: "You know, we're running a special. Buy four and get the fifth free!"
Coach Pacowski: "Ah, even better." [throws more money] "Heck, I'll take them all!" [cackles]
Lincoln: [worrisome] "Clyde!"
Clyde: "Business is business, Lincoln. Let 'er rip!"
[An iris is about to close on Lincoln but stops; Lincoln gulps and pies splatter on him and he falls off his seat.]
"CLYDE THELONIOUS MCBRIDE!" exclaimed Harold as he, Howard, Lynn Sr., Rita, and Albert glared at Clyde,who jumped at his dad's yell.
"How could you throw your own best friend under the bus like that?!" exclaimed Howard.
"If I do recall, even if it was Lincoln's idea to become a Girl Guru, you were just as responsible!" said Lynn Sr.
"He's your best friend! You should be by his side!" added Rita.
"We get that you had to make money for the fair, but having Lincoln splattered by more pies than even Luan can handle isn't good!" added Albert.
Clyde felt horrible. He had willingly thrown Lincoln under the bus to make more money at the school fair. He had been responsible too for the incident in some way.
Clyde turned to Lincoln. "I am so sorry Lincoln. I did you dirty at that moment." he said regretfully. "I shouldn't have thrown you under the bus like that. I was just as responsible for the incident too. Plus, I let the money take advantage of me. I understand if this memory brought back bad feelings."
Lincoln smiled. "If I never forgave you for that, we wouldn't still be friends." he said.
Clyde perked up at that. "So we cool?"
"We cool." said Lincoln.
"And before anyone asks, I found out about it by the end of the day." said Principal Huggins. "I confronted everyone there on the matter. While I was anything but impressed by Loud's idea, I understood his reasons."
"What about Mrs. Johnson and Coach Pacowski?" asked David.
"I confronted them on taking part in such idiocy." said Principal Huggins, giving Mrs. Johnson a glare, making her flinch. "I told Pacowski off for having taking Lincoln's words in the first place, chasing him in the hall, and being a part of the stand he and McBride created. Agnes as well. Their punishment was working after school hours for three days."
"I deserved it." said Mrs. Johnson, regretfully. "Lincoln, I'm sorry I took part in such a stand."
"Well it was my fault for giving out such rotten advice." said Lincoln.
Bobby smiled at Lincoln. "Look, you made a mistake, bro." he said. He then turned to the girls that were the victims of Lincoln's bad advice, Bobby said, "We all make mistakes, don't we, girls? Can any of you tell me that you're completely perfect, no mistake ever made in the span of your lives?"
The women in question looked at each other, silently thinking no one was perfect.
"Yeah, he's right." said Mollie.
"That doesn't excuse my actions." said Lincoln. "Zach, Rusty, Jordan, Mollie, I'm sorry for giving out such stupid advice and putting you all through such an ordeal."
The four smiled at Lincoln.
"We understand Lincoln," said Zach. "While your advice could've been better, your intentions were good."
"And we were the ones who decided to take the advice to heart along with those other boys… and Coach Pacowski." added Rusty.
"And we see know that you made a mistake like Bobby said." said Mollie.
"So we forgive you." finished Girl Jordan.
Lincoln smiled.
Liam strolled up. "I feel partially responsible too." he said. "I'm sorry for putting such an idea in your head Lincoln."
"Water under the bridge Liam." smiled Lincoln. "Besides, I was the one who let it go to my head."
Liam smiled at that.
"And Lincoln?"
Lincoln turned to his sisters. It was Lori who had spoken.
"We're so sorry for running your first idea for your project." she continued. "Our love for chocolate was no excuse to take the supply you and Clyde had."
"We should've tried to make it up to you." added Luan.
"We'll try to control ourselves more often." said Lucy.
"I'd like that." Lincoln smiled.
"I just realized something." said Stella. "If you knew your sisters were chocoholics, why didn't you bake at Clyde's house? Unless you also thought that with there being chocolate on you when you come home, your sisters would question you why you have a chocolate scent?"
"Yeah… that would've been the better option." said Lincoln.
"And we could've washed ourselves as well so they wouldn't track the scent." added Clyde.
"You could've also asked us to buy more chocolate." added Lynn Sr.
"Family budget." Lincoln replied.
Lynn Sr. nodded.
"Well we could've bought more chocolate too." added Harold. "We would've understood."
Lincoln and Clyde's eyes widened and they facepalmed in embarrassment.
"Let's put that embarrassment aside and carry on." suggested Rita.
Everyone nodded as they faced the screen again.
To be continued…
Done again!
Happy April everyone!
Continue to PM suggestions and Lucy's eye color.
Up next, I want you all to Come Sale Away.
Special dialogue thanks to:
Darkness Rissing
Gamelover41592
Lampe . andrew 1
TLHfanficReader21
Fickleness16
RealityMaster501
That Engineer
Iron Emperor 45