LANGUAGE WARNING AT END OF CHAPTER!
Chapter 43:
2 months later…
Bella POV
Everything was wrong. Paul was here, so was Charlie, even Grandma Inola was here with me, in my heart. I had all of my family here, with one exception. Gyda hadn't come back with Carlisle or Edward. No one had heard from her for 2 months. Carlisle told me all about London and the Norse Festival and the dancing. But all of that persuasion got them nowhere. Edward had tried tracking down Cnute, with no luck. He followed the scent all the way to the little jewellery store I had went to, but it was closed for business. Edward said it looked as if it hadn't been in business for years. The paint had been peeling from the sign above and the windows were dusted over with white foamy paint. This confused me greatly. It didn't look like that when I went there. Had I imagined it?
I'd accepted the car back, after a month of fighting and arguing with myself. It was Paul that made me see sense. He told me about the last phone call he had with Gyda, how she was struggling to cope with being in a family. Paul told her to do what she had to do, and then come back. Simple. But it wasn't so simple when you were trying to live your life without her, especially now I knew who she was to me and Charlie. I'd given up calling her, she never answered. It took me another month, but I'd accepted that she'd come back when she was ready. I might even be 40 by that time, but as long as she came back within my lifetime, I'd be grateful to her.
"Paul, dinner's ready" I called out. We were both staying at my house in Forks for a while. Charlie and Melinda were on a romantic getaway for Christmas, and Paul and I thought the extra space would suit us better for the holidays. We'd just finished decorating the tree and now the living room was looking much more festive. I just hoped it would brighten my mood.
Paul walked into the kitchen then "It looks great, thanks baby"
We ate our meal in relative silence, just passing small talk back and forth. This morning had been kind of a rollercoaster for both of us. I'd received my first college acceptance letter and if I accepted, I'd be a student at the Tacoma Community College, starting next fall. I still didn't know what I wanted to study and the pressure of deciding was getting to me.
"Everything okay?" he asked. He must have noticed my face.
I smiled at his concern "I'm okay. Just thinking about the letter. Did you get one?" I asked.
He laughed "I haven't been home to check, but here's hoping" he raised his glass of water and took a sip.
I sighed loudly "It's just, I don't know what I want to study. Shouldn't I have thought of that already?"
"Babe, you don't start until next fall, you have plenty of time to decide-"
"-but what if I can't decide?"
He chuckled "Okay, what is your most favourite thing to do?"
"Uh-" I thought for a brief moment "-well, I like to read, I mean, it's all I do-" I laughed "-but I don't think they have a course in reading"
He rolled his eyes "What about a creative writing course? You know, learn different techniques and maybe even start writing your own story"
Huh, that actually sounded perfect. I'd always dreamed of being able to write a story that was worthy of a Thomas Hardy or Jane Austen novel, I wonder…
"I think I'll look into their creative writing courses. What do you wanna do?" I asked, shovelling in a forkful of lasagne. Connie Littlesea had given me her recipe and Paul and I were very grateful.
"Well, I thought I'd take a look at their engineering courses. I love to build stuff and it'd be good to do it for a living"
I smiled "I think you'd be great at that"
After dinner, we decided to go visit Emily and Sam. Emily was due next week, and the whole pack was tense with the realisation that soon, we'd all have a baby to cuddle and protect.
"Oh man, this car drives like a dream" Paul gushed. I let him drive because I was feeling a little too full after dinner. My stomach was in knots and the nausea I experienced this morning was threatening to come back again.
I giggled "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. Hey, do you know when Quil and Angela are moving into their new house?" I asked. The build had been tough, but with help from all of the guys, the house had been re-built and re-modelled on the inside. All that was left to do was move in some furniture and fix the wiring, but then Ange and Quil were ready for the next step of their life together.
"Sam reckons next month, maybe even earlier than that"
"Angela still doesn't know?" I asked.
He chuckled "Not a clue"
"Hm, well, that'll be a nice surprise for her"
Paul parked up outside Sam's house and came round to open my door. It wasn't a case of just stepping out of this car, you had to jump. But if you were mated for life to a hulking shapeshifter like I was, jumping wasn't necessary.
"Hold on" he instructed. I clambered onto his back and he lifted me down from the car. I held on all the way up to the front door, where Sam greeted us enthusiastically.
"Hey guys, come on in!"
I hugged Sam after he shut the door "It's nice to see you again. It's been a while! How is Emily?" I asked. The last time I had seen her, her ankles were so swollen she couldn't walk.
He chuckled "She's much better. She's upstairs having a lie-down-"
"-man, you look exhausted-" Paul pointed out.
Sam laughed tiredly "Well, I've not been sleeping well. I'm worried that I'll be in such a deep sleep, Em won't be able to wake me if she goes into labour, you know how exhausted I've been with Quil's house and patrols"
I shook my head and smiled "Sam, your brain isn't going to let you completely shut down if it knows you need to be alert for Emily. I read it in a medical journal on Google" I announced, because Google was my doctor when I couldn't afford the bill.
"I know I should probably sleep. I won't be getting any when the baby is here" he laughed. He led us into the living room and offered to make us a coffee. I accepted a mug of herbal tea instead.
"So, what brings you guys down at this time of night? Don't you usually go to bed at 7pm Bella?" he winked.
"Oh ha-ha. We thought we'd just come and see you guys, see if you wanted Paul and I to do anything for you"
Sam collapsed in the recliner, exhausted "Well, I had just one more thing to do in the nursery, but I'm so bushed, I'll do it in the morning-"
"-what needs doing?" Paul interjected.
"Uh, I got a couple more shelves to put up and then I need to screw the changing table into the wall, because Em's scared it might fall on the baby"
Paul nodded and headed for the stairs "Tool's already up there?" he called out.
"Yeah. I put them in the closet, just watch the door, it's a little dingy!" he called back, then chuckled and closed his eyes.
"Have you and Emily had dinner yet?" I asked him.
He groaned "Ugh, no! I completely forgot!" he started to get up.
"Don't worry, I'll fix something up. Maybe have a nap, looks like you need one" I pushed his head back against the recliner and went into the kitchen. There was steak in the fridge and some potatoes. Steak and potatoes it was!
An hour later…
"Sam, dinner's on the table" I called out. I poured him and Emily a glass of water each and went to check on him. I giggled when I saw he was fast asleep. Poor guy.
"Sam-" I shook him and he jumped up abruptly "-dinner's on the table" I repeated with a chuckle. He sniffed the air, in a sort of lupine way, and headed for the source of the smell. I busied myself with folding the blanket he used for his nap whilst I heard satisfactory groans coming from the kitchen.
"You like it?" I asked him.
"So good Bella! Thanks!" he said, with a mouthful of food. I chuckled and went to check on Emily. I knocked on the bedroom door and poked my head around. She was sat up reading a book "Only me. I've made dinner. It's on the table" I said with a smile. Emily looked so good pregnant!
"Aw Bella! You didn't have to cook dinner! I could have done that!" she scolded me gently.
"It was no trouble! I hope you don't mind I raided your fridge"
She giggled "Of course not! Could you help me up?"
"Sure" I reached for her arm and pulled. Her huge baby bump made it difficult for her to find her slippers so I shoved them onto her feet. I helped her all the way to the dinner table where Sam was nearly done with his plate. Emily noticed this too and shook her head in disbelief.
"The way he eats, you'd think he was the one that was pregnant" she joked.
I laughed "Well, I'd eat before he starts on your plate. I've cut your steak into strips so you don't have to cut it up as much"
"Thanks Bella, this is really amazing of you" she squeezed my hand for a brief moment and then started eating. I went upstairs to see how Paul was doing.
"Hey, almost done in here?" I asked.
He turned to smile at me "Yeah. Come and see this" he took my hand and pulled me into his body, wrapping his arms around me. He spun us around so I could see a newly painted mural on the wall. It covered the whole wall and some. It was the forest, at daybreak, with wolves running through the scene. It was beautiful.
"Sam did this?" I asked, awed.
"Emily. She loves to paint, but I don't know. This kind of feels like foreshadowing to me-"
I furrowed my brow "-foreshadowing how?"
"Well, if the Cullen's are staying where they are for a while, it's probable that that little baby will phase when he hits puberty. It's a shame really, I wouldn't wish this on a kid"
"Huh, I never thought about that. But if the Cullen's left-"
"-then the chances of a new generation of wolves is slim, considering there are no vamps to kickstart the gene. Man, I like them, but I kinda hope they don't hang around. Especially if we decide to have children in the future"
He'd been doing this a lot. Bringing up kids. He always did it so casually, that it never bothered me and really, I wasn't bothered by it. One day, in the future, I'd love to have a baby with Paul. Just not now. I'd just got accepted into Tacoma, and I really didn't wanna think about how I'd get through college whilst pregnant. Besides, if we were never aging whilst he phased, then we didn't have to worry. We could wait 50 years if we wanted to and still have a baby. My body would still be capable of conceiving and carrying a child in that time.
"Well, if our children do end up phasing, at least their dad can help them through it"
He smiled into my shoulder "Well, I think that-"
But I didn't find out what he thought, because a blood curdling scream travelled to our ears from downstairs.
"Was that Emily?" I asked, panicked.
"Yeah, quick" he carried me downstairs, more for speed than my clumsiness, where we found Emily on her knees, gripping the table edge.
"Em, what's going on?" I asked hurriedly. I knelt down next to her, only realising last minute that I'd knelt into a pool of liquid.
"My water broke! The baby's coming!" she screamed out.
Paul was frantic "Where's Sam?"
"I told him to go for a run, he looked tired so I thought it'd help-" she let out another scream "-go get him please Paul!"
Paul nodded and started to strip whilst leaving the house. I hoped they hurried back! I didn't know how to deliver a baby!
"Uh, can you walk Emily?"
She panted in agony "I'm not sure, but there's no way in hell I'm having this baby on the kitchen floor!"
"Okay, uh, here grab on" I slung her arm over my shoulders and heaved her to stand, then very slowly, we climbed the stairs.
"Oh God, this hurts like hell!" she shouted loudly when I got her on the bed.
"Em, I think you should take your pants off, this baby isn't going to wait!"
Emily sat on the edge of the bed and slowly shucked her pants and underwear off. I helped her swivel in the bed so she sat up against the headboard. I threw a sheet over her legs.
"Stay here, I'm gonna call 911-"
"-no! No hospitals!" she shot back.
"Emily, I don't know how to deliver a baby!" I panicked.
She chuckled in spite of her pain "Sam and I planned a home birth anyway! Just call Sue, she said she'd help when the baby was being born"
"Okay, okay!" I pulled out my cell and dialled Sue's number. She answered immediately.
"Bella? This is a late call-" Emily screamed loudly "-oh! Is Emily in labour?"
"Yes! Can you please come and help? I have no idea what I'm doing!"
"I'm in Seattle! I'll start driving right now, but Bella, I'm not gonna be there in time to deliver the baby! Where's Sam?"
"He's running wolf right now. Paul's gone to find him! Oh God, I don't know how to do this Sue!"
"Put me on speaker and follow my instructions-"
Oh gheez! Okay, alright Bella. Come on, you can do this.
"Okay Bella, I need you to check how dilated she is"
I was mortified. I knew what that meant.
I tried to argue against the idea "-I don't know if-"
"-oh for God's sake Bella! Just get your hand down there and check!" Emily screamed at me.
I grit my teeth and did what Sue said, oh God, what the hell was that?
"I felt something hard Sue! Is that the baby's head?" I shouted at the phone. Oh man, being a midwife was definitely off of my list of career choices!
"Sounds like full dilation. The baby is coming down the birth canal. Now, Emily, on the next contraction, you need to push. Only when you have a contraction, not before! Bella, put your hands on Emily's stomach, when it turns hard, it's a contraction, help her push!"
I did as was instructed of me and when Emily's stomach felt as hard as a boulder and she screamed in agony, I figured she was having a contraction.
"Push Emily! Push!" I shouted at her. She hooked her hands onto her thighs and willed all of the strength she had into her efforts. Don't faint Bella, don't faint.
"Is she still contracting Bella?"
"Yeah! Her stomach is still really hard-"
"Okay, help her count to 10 whilst she pushes-"
It was at this point, Sam and Paul burst into the room. I couldn't have been more relieved!
"Oh thank God you two are here! Sam, help Emily breathe! Paul, grab some clean towels-"
"-and some warm water and scissors! You'll need something to tie off the cord as well. Make sure the scissors are cleaned with alcohol!"
"Is that Sue?" he asked.
"Yes! Just hurry and do as she says!" I shouted at him. He scurried out to get the supplies.
Sam grabbed Emily's hand, and helped her breathe. I was grateful I didn't have to juggle all of the jobs now. My only focus was getting the baby out safely.
"Bella, can you see the baby?"
"Uh-" I looked down and saw a mass of jet black hair "-yes! The head is out!"
Emily screamed loudly, making Sam burst into tears. He hated seeing her in pain.
"Another contraction Emily! Push! PUSH!" I shouted. She pushed hard, and the baby was born.
"It's here Sue! The baby's here!" I shouted at the phone. But it wasn't crying. Oh God, even I knew that wasn't good.
"Okay, you need to rub the baby's chest with a towel, get the blood flowing and wipe away anything obstructing the airways-"
Paul came back in then, laden with towels, a bowl a warm water a bag of scissors and elastic bands.
"Throw me a towel Paul!" I said hurriedly. I wiped the baby's face with the towel, cut the cord, tied it off then started rubbing the chest.
"Come on baby, come on-" I whispered through my efforts. Emily was panting into Sam's chest, completely exhausted. Sam's eyes didn't leave the baby.
"Bella, is there something wrong?" he asked.
"No, come on, come on-" and then the most beautiful sound filled the room. A newborn cry.
"Yes! Well done baby boy! Come on, give us some more!" I continued to rub the towel over the baby until his cry was loud enough for me to be happy to stop. I cleaned him up as best I could and wrapped him in a clean towel. I used some of the warm water to clean off his face, making sure nothing was near his nose, mouth and eyes, then I handed him to Emily.
"Congratulations!" Sue shouted through the phone. I'd almost forgotten she were here.
"Well done Emily" I patted her knee as I breathed a sigh of relief that this was over. She and Sam cooed over their new baby boy just as Paul pulled me to my feet and hugged me hard.
"So proud of you baby" he whispered. I pulled away, I didn't want to cover him in, er, products from Emily.
"I'll grab a diaper and a onesie from the nursery" I said. Man, I was exhausted! I grabbed the first thing my hand touched and took it back to Emily's room. The baby wasn't crying now. He was too busy looking up at his mommy and daddy, figuring out their faces.
"You make a beautiful family" Paul said with a huge grin.
"Bella, make sure Emily's placenta is delivered and check it's whole! I'll be back in less than two hours, I'll come straight over!" Sue said.
At that point, Emily grimaced in pain as she expelled the placenta. I checked it over, it was whole. Thank God! I didn't want to have to become a surgeon as well as a midwife tonight!
"Got it Sue. All of it's here"
"Wonderful! Okay, I'm going to hang up now, just make sure Emily and the baby are kept warm until I get there! Emily, try breastfeeding the baby, it'll help you both feel better. Well done Bella, you did a great job!" She hung up. Sam dressed the baby whilst I helped Emily into the shower, on her insistence. Then I helped her change into a nightdress and helped her back into the now clean bed, courtesy of Paul. I threw the soiled linen into the washer before collapsing on the couch with Paul.
"Oh man, I'm so tired"
He whisper laughed "Me too, and I didn't even do anything"
"Well, becoming a midwife is definitely off of my career list"
He squeezed my hand "You did an amazing job baby, I'm so proud of you"
"Thanks, though Emily did most of the work" I smiled. Paul and I stuck around until Sue arrived. She rushed straight upstairs equipped with her medical bag, instructing us to make Emily some toast and a cup of tea with sugar. Paul offered to do it, seeing how tired I was. He plated everything onto a tray and carried it up, where the baby's cries could be heard wafting downstairs. I smiled as I listened. It was an odd sound, a newborn cry. It made me broody and fearful at the same time. But it was such a magical sound, it'd bring even the toughest guy to his knees. Sue came down with Paul then, pulling me into a hug.
"You did an absolutely wonderful job Bella! Emily and the baby are healthy because of you. You should be proud of yourself"
I chuckled tiredly "I couldn't have done it without you Sue. Why were you in Seattle?" I asked.
She chuckled "I was dropping Leah off. She's thinking about starting college and there's a school in Seattle that offers home learning, so she's going to see if that's something that could work for her. Oh, I hope it does! She deserves to continue with her life as normal. Anyway, I'm going to stay here tonight, just to help out while Emily recovers, you two should get home and get some sleep-"
"-can we stop by tomorrow? We can help them out with laundry and cooking" I looked at Paul and he was nodding his head, on board with the idea.
"Yeah, and I wanna be the first of the guys to hold the baby" Ah, that was his real intention.
Sue laughed "Well, that would certainly help them out. I've just spoken with Sam and he and Emily both agree that they don't want to tell the rest of the pack just yet. Emily needs a few days to recover, I had to stitch her-" Paul shuddered "-so she's going to need absolute bed rest"
"Of course, we'll keep it quiet for now. We'll be here first thing in the morning to take over. Thanks again Sue. We'll just go up and say goodnight" I took Paul's hand and led him back to the bedroom to find Emily and Sam sitting on the bed, both holding the baby. Sam holding the baby's feet and Emily cradling the head. It was a beautiful scene.
"Who knew a thick head like yours could produce something so cute?" Paul teased Sam.
Sam laughed "That's what I was thinking. Bella, thank you so much for your help tonight. I don't know what we would have done without you, so thank you again"
"I was happy to help. I'm glad that Emily and the baby are okay. How are you feeling?" I asked Emily because she had to be sore.
She chuckled tiredly "Sore, very sore. Like I've got a burning hot stone shoved in my-" Sam recoiled and she laughed "-well, I'm in a little pain, but Sue gave me some pain killers. Thank you Bella. When will we see you next?"
I looked at Paul for confirmation, he nodded his head "Uh, how does first thing in the morning sound?"
They both smiled "Awesome! So, who is getting the first cuddle tomorrow?" she waggled her eyebrows at us.
Paul raised his hand like a child and I laughed "If Paul doesn't get his baby cuddles, I think he might combust" I joked.
Emily laughed "Okay, well Paul can look after the baby for the morning whilst I nap. Did Sue mention about not telling anyone else just yet?"
I nodded my head "Yes, we won't say a word. Have you decided on a name for him?" I asked, looking at the sleeping newborn in their arms. He looked like Sam a lot, but I thought the Emily side would come out in his face as he grew older.
She looked at Sam "Well, we were playing around with a couple of names, but we've decided to name him after Sam's great-grandfather, Levi"
"I think that's perfect. Little Levi" I wiggled the baby's foot and he cooed softly.
Paul put his hands on my shoulders "Alright, we'll leave you too it. See you first thing in the morning Levi-"
"-and Sam and Emily-" I encouraged him to add.
"Right, you too guys. Goodnight and congratulations again"
Later that night when we were lying in bed together, a sudden realisation hit me.
"I think I just thought of something I'd like to write about" I blurted out, making Paul jump. He was almost asleep and I felt bad that I'd woken him so suddenly, but he became alert at once and pulled me onto his chest for a cuddle.
"What's your idea?" he whispered, his voice husky with sleep.
"Gyda"
"What about her?"
"Wouldn't it be a nice idea to document her story on paper? That way she'd never have to forget anything, and it might help her move on from her past"
Paul sat up against the headboard to look at me "That's not a bad idea. You'd write it for her?"
"I would. I would do that for her. So when she comes back, at least she can carry her past life with her in book form. Does it sound stupid?" I grimaced.
He chuckled and kissed my hair "Of course not. It's very thoughtful and I think she'd love it"
"Edward mentioned once that vampires forget their human memories with time, that they just fade away into nothing, like they never existed and I know Gyda does her best for that not to happen. So, maybe this could work"
"I think it would be great babe. Now, we can talk more about it in the morning, try and get some sleep, my little superhero" he chuckled, pulling me into a searing kiss.
The next morning saw Paul wake up before me. He was already showered and dressed before I had even opened my eyes. I giggled at his fast pace, he was eager to get going so he could hold baby Levi.
"Bella, I've made breakfast to go!" he called from downstairs. I groaned and pulled myself out of bed. Hm, should I have a shower?
"I just want a quick shower, I'll be 5 minutes!" I called down. The option of a second shower won me over, especially if it was another excuse to rinse myself clean of birth liquids.
It wasn't hard to accelerate in this car, but even so, Paul had his foot pressed down firmly on the gas pedal, eager to get to Sam and Emily's before the sun could rise. At least we could take over for Sue. Maybe I could make Sam and Emily breakfast?
"Oh my God, we're here! Ahhh!" he squealed like a child when we pulled up to Sam's. I laughed as he slammed the door behind him and threw me over his shoulder.
"Babe, the baby is still gonna be there in the next 5 seconds. Chill out!" I laughed. He reply was a love pat on my butt. We let ourselves in and found Sue cradling baby Levi on the couch, looking absolutely haggard.
"Morning Sue, how was last night?" I whispered. Levi was asleep.
She smiled brightly "It brought back memories of when Seth and Leah were this age. The feeling never gets old, but this one-" she held him up to kiss his nose "-has been an angel all night. He only woke up the once at 3am and he took the formula so well" she laughed quietly when she noticed Paul bouncing on the balls of his feet.
"Okay, here you are Uncle Paul-" she carefully handed Levi to Paul, who made a noise I'd never heard from him before "-I'd better get going. I want to catch Seth before he starts patrol"
Paul lifted Levi to his shoulder and soothingly patted his back with his giant hand, making a face of utter content "Oh man, we need to have a baby soon Bella. I need to cuddle a baby every single day"
Sue and I chuckled "Good luck with that Bella. Oh, could you remind Sam that Emily will need to take some more painkillers when she wakes up, and she needs to remember to eat. She needs to keep her energy up and it'll help her milk come in" Sue patted my shoulder as she walked past.
"No problem, I'll make sure she eats, don't worry! Thanks again Sue!" I whisper-shouted. Levi was still sleeping and Paul may think the baby is cute and cuddly now, but I thought that might change when he woke up screaming for his mommy. I closed the door behind Sue and waved from the window, then turned back to my man, cradling our new nephew in his warm arms.
"Isn't he gorgeous?" I cooed. I ran my fingertips across his jet-black hair.
Paul gushed "You know, last night he looked like Sam, but I reckon he kinda looks like Emily today, what do you think?" he sat on the couch and led Levi on his lap. He started to wriggle from the loss of heat from his front and made a little squeak.
"Uh-oh, better not do that again" Paul whispered to me as I chuckled. He'd taken to being an Uncle so fast. It was a pleasure to see. Hey, I guess I was an Aunt now, huh!
"I'm gonna go sort through the laundry so Sam doesn't have to do it-"
"-I would help, but baby cuddles are much more important than laundry. Isn't that right Levi? Yes, it is" he cooed softly. I snickered hearing his baby voice. Who would have thought a huge wolf-man could be such a softie?
"Have fun with your cuddles. It's my turn after!" I reminded him, though I could see we'd be arguing about whose turn it was to hold the baby later. I laughed at the thought.
As I was putting the clean sheets into the dryer, my phone vibrated in my pocket with a new text message. I pulled it out and checked, it was from a number I didn't recognise.
I miss you.
I smiled sadly as I read it. There was only one person this could be from. I closed the door to the laundry room and sat on top of the washing basket, pressing the call button. She answered after the first ring.
"I knew you'd try to ring me" her soft chuckle made my chest ache with her absence. At first, I struggled to speak. The sound of her voice had overcome me so suddenly.
"Hi" was all I came out with.
She chuckled again "Hi. How are you Bella?"
"I'm-" I was about to say 'I'm fine' but was I really just fine?
"I am sorry Bella. Does it sound stupid to say I wanted to come back? I really want to come back and be with you again and marry Edward properly and have a family this time-"
"-then why can't you? Please Gyda! Please come back!-"
She sighed "-it's hard to explain, but I hope you understand why I need time before I do. You see, I've been a nomad, alone, for my entire existence. It's not something easy for me to just give up. Not so quickly anyway. To be part of a family again, it's a huge thing for me-"
"-but if you want to be part of a family, why didn't you come back? Isn't that sort of missing the point?"
She laughed "It's exactly missing the point Bella. I need time to get my head around a few things before I come back. I wish I could make you understand why I need to do this. I suppose I could compare it to you and Charlie. If Paul asked you to move in with him and leave Charlie's house, you'd be excited and nervous at the same time, right?"
"Of course I would be. Moving out is a huge step, and I'd miss living with Charlie, of course I would-"
"-does that sort of give you an explanation as to why I can't come back yet?"
I laughed "Not really"
"Well, I suppose if we switched the roles. I was you and Paul asked me to move in with him. If you had my state of mind right now, you'd never leave Charlie, because you wouldn't want something so big to change your life so quickly. Maybe in time, you could move out and be comfortable with it. Uh, am I making any sense?"
I chuckled "Yes. You're scared to leave your nomad life behind you?"
"Yeah. It's all I've ever known and it's my comfort zone. Marrying Edward and moving in with the Cullen's and even staying in one place for a long time, it's something I've never done before. It's a big change that I don't know if I'm ready for. Like I said, I need time to get my head around it but I promise I will come back within your lifetime-"
"-lucky Paul's still phasing then" I laughed.
"Well, that's what I thought. Don't be having any babies until I come back mind. I want first dibs with cuddles"
"God, not you too!"
"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good" she laughed.
"Emily had her baby last night-"
"What! No way! Boy or girl?"
I chuckled "A baby boy. Levi"
"Aw, baby Levi. That's cute"
I smiled "Yeah, he is a little sweetie. But tell me, where are you?"
"Sweden. I figured I'd try finding Cnute, seeing how eager he was to see me last time" she chuckled to herself.
"Have you found him yet?"
"I think I might have. He shut up shop and started running nomad again. But I think I've found his little hideout-" she laughed "-perhaps I'll bring him back with me"
"How do you feel about seeing him again? It's been a long time-"
"I'm nervous, of course. But it's just Cnute, and whilst time may have passed in his absence, I'm sure we'll jump straight back into the last conversation we had" she laughed again.
I was curious "Well, what was the conversation about?"
"It was right before I sailed to England for the last time. I asked him to get Har away from the Earl as soon as he could and raise him as his own. Not sure if he did that yet, but we'll see"
"Oh man, that's… intense. Can I come and see you?"
She sighed sadly "I would say yes, but I don't want to put you out. You need to carry on living your life in my absence Bella. Oh, and what's this about a book you want to write?"
"How did you-? Alice!"
"She called me this morning. I asked her to keep an eye on you so she's been reporting to me. Sorry if that bothers you-"
"-it doesn't-"
"-well, good. Because even if it did, I'd still ask her to do it. She didn't tell me any specifics about a book, just that you had decided to write one"
"Well, I have an idea, but I definitely don't have all of the information I need-"
"-maybe I can help?"
"Your help would be great, but it was supposed to be a surprise"
She surprised me by laughing "Bella, anything you write will be a surprise to me. I'm assuming if it's a surprise, it's about me?"
"Ugh, fine! I was going to write a book on your life, you know, human and after. I thought it'd help you"
Gyda was quiet for a minute.
"You still there?" I asked.
"Yeah. I'm just- wow. I mean, you want to write about me?"
"Why wouldn't I? You've had a very long and interesting life and I think if you had a written copy of it, you wouldn't have to worry about forgetting anything. Even the small details, like how the ale tasted"
"Wow, that's really thoughtful Bella. I need to go now, but I'll call again soon-"
"Promise?"
"I promise. Go and look after that baby and wish everyone well for me, will you? I love you Bella, see you soon"
Gyda POV
"I love you too Gyda. Hurry back"
I hung the phone up and groaned angrily at myself. I wish it were so easy to just forget this life and move on with a new one. But it just wasn't that easy. Not for me, anyway. I shoved my newly acquired phone back into my jacket pocket and jumped down from the tree I had been sitting in.
"Cnute! Stop being an ass and come out here!" I shouted out through the dense forest. I could heard him running towards me, a few miles away. Not 10 seconds later, he jumped down from the same tree I had been in and stopped in front of me.
He laughed "You look like shit Gyda"
"You've always looked like shit Cnute" I smiled wryly.
We laughed together then and embraced one another.
"You have something to show me?" I asked him.
He observed me carefully, nodded his head and held his hand out "Don't hurt yourself" he joked as I took his hand and held it. Immediately, memories rushed through my mind, Cnute's memories.
"Papa! Come and see!" Har was waving something around excitedly. Cnute came into view then, his eyes bright red and skin pale.
"Show me young Har-" he took the small wooden sword from Har's hand and observed it closely "-this is a fine replacement, my son! But tell me, what happened to the one your mother gave you?"
Har looked down at his feet "The Earl burned it. He said I did not need any reminders of my mother whilst I was in his care"
Cnute's eyes widened, but then his face relaxed and he laughed "I do not think your mother would be angry with you, son. Look at this! It is a fine replacement and may I even say, better than what your mother made" this made Har giggle. Cnute put the sword down and turned Har to face him.
"Tomorrow, we journey to the Thing. You are 12 years old now. Are you ready to become a man and receive your arm ring?"
Har nodded excitedly "Yes father! I am ready to become a man and fight like my mother did!"
Cnute chuckled "You know your mother was a shield-maiden? She fought in some of the greatest shield walls of our time. You should remember her and always be proud that she is your mother"
Har hung his head "But now she is in Valhalla with the Gods. I hope they are looking after her"
Cnute chuckled sadly "They are, my son. Of course they look after your mother! Now, let us get you ready for our journey tomorrow, hm?"
Cnute pulled his hand away and turned his back on me.
"So, you did keep your promise?" I said quietly.
"Of course I did, if it were the last thing I could do for you-"
"-and you snuck over to England how?"
He sighed "The Earl was sending missionaries to England to look at new land opportunities and he did not see me go. When we arrived on the beach, they were already waiting for us. The Draugr. They slaughtered all of the men instantly. Lucky for me, they were too full to drink much of my blood-" he laughed "-so they left me to the change. I was originally hoping to find you, and I looked for a few years. But then I remembered the promise I made to you. To remove Har from the Earl's care as soon as I could and now with this new strength and speed, I could not only accomplish that, but take over the entire village if I wanted to!" he laughed again.
"You killed the Earl?" I asked.
He eyed me carefully "I did not harm Har, not once. I never dreamed of hurting him. He was my son from that day on, and he gladly accepted that I was his father then. Har had just had his tenth birthday when I took him from there. We resided in the cabin in the mountains, you remember?"
"How could I forget that pile of shit?" I smirked "Did Har ever figure out what you were?"
Cnute shook his head "He suspected. When I never shared his food or when I couldn't walk into the sunlight with him on my shoulders, but he never questioned it. I was his father, and he was my son. That was all there was too it"
"And what became of my son?"
Cnute smiled proudly "Har lived until he was 39. He married a servant girl when he was 18 and then his first child was born the following year. A boy, they called him Eirik, after his real father"
I smiled "He was a great warrior?"
"With parents like his, how could he not be? I taught him to fight myself. The day the Rus arrived on our coast was the day I thought I saw you fighting again Gyda. You should have seen him! He moved like water, rippling over the surface but a raging storm underneath. He was a great warrior, he could have even put you to shame"
I raised my eyebrow "I would have hoped he could fight better than me. I hope you helped during that battle Cnute. I hope the Rus didn't throw their Christianity on our lands that day-"
Cnute chuckled heartily "I ate well that day, is all I can say. I even finished off some of our own men, the ones who were already slaughtered but fading painfully. I was very careful not to make any more changes"
"Well, it seems we have a lot to catch up on. Let's go and talk" I slapped his shoulder and started walking through the forest. He kept pace with me.
"I see you are still the same as ever Gyda. Except for your accent, that has changed. But I think it is the only thing that has changed about you" he laughed, throwing his arm over my shoulder.
"I see you haven't changed. Found anyone to settle down with yet?" I smirked.
He laughed "Of course not, you know that is not like me. I see you have found someone, but tell me, why you are not with him now?"
I rolled my eyes "I do plan to go back, but not just yet. He'll wait for me. He's already waited 90 years, a few more won't hurt"
"Gyda, Gyda! Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you not allow yourself to be happy?"
"I am happy, you fool. But going back would mean leaving all of this behind me and I'm not ready to do that yet"
"What of the human girl?" he asked.
I smirked "One of my living granddaughters Cnute. The living flesh of my Har, still alive and well. I will go back to her someday, but for now, I think I will be a nomad once again. Having no destination, just keep moving forwards"
He smirked "Or backwards"
We laughed together again and reminisced about our finest moments in our past lives. I learned more on the fate of my son and his wife and the adventures Cnute allowed himself to go on.
"So, you've never left Sweden?" I asked.
"I have. I went to Russia a long time ago. I wanted to see the place that took away our Gods. Though of course, they live on inside me. Time will not erase them that easily"
"For me too, though I lived with Christians in England for most of my existence, I was never converted to their God. I can't fathom leaving our Gods behind. I know they still exist, I can feel them walk among us even now"
Cnute laughed "Yes my friend! Freyja has been good to me during my times of struggle, but of course, we both do not get to experience the joys of Valhalla. I do not think we ever will"
I shrugged my shoulders "Better to stay here on Earth, damned regardless, than go to Hel"
"You could not have said it better my friend" he chuckled.
"So tell me about-" my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out to find a message from Edward.
I miss you. I love you. I hope you're okay.
Please come home soon or I'll come and find you again.
Edward
I stared at his message for a second longer before putting my phone back inside my pocket.
"You are not going to reply?" Cnute asked.
I shook my head "I don't know what I can say. I feel guilty enough for leaving, selfish even. Am I being selfish Cnute?"
He chuckled "You have had a long lifetime Gyda. I think, just this once, you deserve to be selfish. If it helps you move forward"