Hound POV
Jayce has been in a terrible mood all week. Not bitchy terrible but very depressed terrible. Tomorrow it'll be five months since Buddy passed, five months since Jayce's mental decline started. J.R. had a week of rapid mental feline causing frequent crying episodes resulting in her needing to be put on oxygen again. She's more distraught about Jayce than her pain, which causes her to urinate on herself. Jamie is worried something else is wrong. We still agree not to tell her the reason behind J.R.'s complication.
I walk into the medbay and see Cade and the other Autobots. Cade is checking on J.R. as she sleeps.
"I think her pain is getting worse," Bumblebee frets, "it's been three weeks."
"It can take up to two months before her ribs heal, Bee, plus she has three broken ribs," Cade explains.
"So, how was last night?" I ask though every day, I hate hearing how the night was.
"Besides the usual, she had a nightmare," Crosshairs sighed as Drift left the room.
This can't be good.
J.R. dreamt that after five months, we gave up on Jayce and left. Crosshairs had a hard time continuing to tell us the details. J.R. fears we will turn on the girls and hate them. I see why Drift left. There's little we can do.
"Maybe try talking to Jayce and J.R. later?" I suggest.
"I don't know, the tricky part is they'll end up crying, and with J.R.'s health, but we can't wait until she's healed," Cade points out.
"Then we make a plan," Bumblebee comments, "we have to try to help them."
"Make a plan, I have to go," Crosshairs says as he looks at his phone screen before running out of the room.
"Shit," I mumbled.
We know what is going on that he has to rush out of the room.
I sit by J.R.'s bed as we talk about a plan.
Crosshairs POV
I walk into Jayce's room, seeing Drift holding Jayce, who is bawling. Drift tells me he walked into the room as Jayce was going through a panic attack; it wasn't long before she had a seizure and started bawling once she came out of it.
Though there's no research proving two people can have the same dream, we've seen it happen before during the nightmare situation. While the two girls: nightmare might not be 100% the same, we're thinking Jayce also had a nightmare about us leaving the three girls.
"You and the others will leave," Jayce mumbled. I don't think she knows I'm here.
"No, we will never leave you, Jamie or J.R., we're trying to help," Drift assures her. I can see Drift is worried we can't help Jayce, troubled by J.R.'s nightmare.
I tried to take Jayce from Drift so he could clear his mind, but Jayce tightened her hug as he tried to move her onto my lap. Hound comes in two minutes later with a bottle of nutrition drink. He hands it to Drift before sitting at the desk. Jayce refused to drink the nutrition drink. This has become a struggle for the past week. Drift lays with Jayce as I leave the room.
Cade POV
After our discussion, I took an x-ray to make sure everything is fine with J.R. before sitting by her bed. I hate how Jayce and J.R. are peacefully sleeping one minute to panicking the next. This is dangerous for J.R.
"Lay the bed flat," I instructed Bee as I tried to keep J.R. still and take the oxygen mask off, "this causes more harm while she's going through a panic attack. Even though she's gasping for air," I explain to Bumblebee.
Bee had to help me keep J.R. still. Crosshairs runs in a minute later. Bee and I move out of his way but are ready to help if needed.
"She's not just panicking about her nightmare, is she? Hound whispers.
"No, she's scared she can't get air in because of her lung injury," I replied.
"Drift has his hands tied with Jayce; he cannot help Crosshairs," Hound sighed, frustrated.
I feel we'll need to use drugs, so I went up to the counter to prepare a syringe.
Probably not a good sign J.R. isn't saying she can't breathe though she's still trying to get up.
"You need to calm down and get your breathing under control first," Crosshairs tells her. I stood at the other side of the bed, waiting for Crosshairs to tell me to inject her. He knows what to watch for. We lucked out, and J.R. is breathing normally within two minutes. He puts the oxygen mask back on and holds her. A few minutes pass before Drift walks in, carrying Jayce.
"Sorry, I didn't know what the plan was, and she's calm for now," Drift tells us as I remove the needle from the syringe, put a cap on the syringe to put it in the medical fridge, and dispose of the needle. Maybe I should have just put it on the counter, maybe I'll regret not doing that, but it's quick to put a new needle in.
Drift sat on the chair next to the bed, positioning Jayce on his lap. Jayce looked at J.R., hating how bad she's doing but quickly starting panicking, realizing we're all in here.
"Can you give her something to be calm but not fall asleep?" Hound asked.
"No," I sighed.
Both Crosshairs and Drift tell me to use the drug on both girls, and we'll see how far this conversation goes before they fall asleep.
Drift POV
The girls lasted fifteen minutes before falling asleep. I don't think they were listening, or at least Jayce wasn't. She's already accepted she can't recover mentally. I laid her on the other bed.
"You'll get better, we're not giving up on you," I whisper though she's asleep.
I left the room and went to Jamie's room. I love having her sleep on me.
An hour passes before she wakes up. She is always smiling at me before laying her head back on my chest. This doesn't last long before she has to get up to go to the bathroom. I make our tea while she's in the bathroom. I do try to get her to eat breakfast, but she always refuses.
"You keeping her out of the medbay?" Crosshairs whispers, standing next to me.
"Shit, I forget she's been checking on J.R. She won't be alarmed seeing J.R. asleep, but she will seeing Jayce."
"Then tell her Cade looked over J.R. already. It's not a lie."
We sit on either side of Jamie. I put the T.V. on once I hand her the tea and put my cup on the coffee table.
"I've been focused on J.R.; I want to spend time with you," Crosshairs starts.
"Cade already took care of J.R.; she's sleeping," I add, knowing Jamie wants to check on J.R.
We figured she'd want to spend time with both of us, but we didn't think she'd want Jayce to come along. Nor did we expect her to say Jayce is mentally ill. She doesn't realize how bad Jayce is, but I hate how she knows Jayce is mentally ill. Hard to tell what she's thinking. We made plans to take Jamie and Jayce out later today. Jamie watchesT.V. for a while before going upstairs to do some work.
"You're thinking about what J.R. said you said in her nightmare?" Crosshairs asks.
I nod before looking at the floor.
"She's just scared this won't end well. She knows how much you love Jamie."
"She knows how exhausting this is, afraid we'll grow tired of helping her and Jayce."
"I don't know if there's anything we can do."
Crosshairs gets up and goes into the medbay. Though Bumblebee, Cade, and Hound are in the room, Crosshairs worries J.R. will panic if he's not in the room.
I rushed to the garage, sat in my alt mode, and let myself cry. I know J.R. is afraid we'll give up and leave. The cruel things I say to Jamie are just part of the dream, but she knows how much I love Jamie, but it still hurts when I know Jamie is afraid to say we're together and take our relationship further. I know what J.R. dreamt I said is what Jamie thinks, even if she's not thinking I'm thinking this way; she thinks all humans in this dimensions think this way and she's not meant to have friends here. Adding to her fear that
I stayed in my alt mode for a half-hour before going to the main area. I saw Jamie, ran to her, picked her up. I hugged her and kissed her forehead and cheeks, the only places that Jamie seem to be ok with. Though she doesn't know why I'm doing this, she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"I love you," I whispered in her ear, trying not to cry.
"Will you two get a room?!" Crosshairs exclaims. Jamie and I laugh; that joke hasn't gotten old yet.
"You interrupted us," I pointed out. Crosshairs went back into the medbay. I find out Jamie is out here because she's hungry. Not sure what Crosshairs' plan is; I didn't care she wanted a snack instead of lunch.
Crosshairs POV
Jayce slowly wakes up as I walk into the room and sit by the bed. She looks over at J.R., remembering that she had to be put on oxygen again.
"She's getting better. I've been checking her lung and breathing at least twice a day," Cade tells Jayce before leaving the room.
"We've been making sure she's getting up and moving around. It's a challenge managing her pain," I add.
"So she's still urinating on herself," Jayce sighs.
"She doesn't want a catheter placed."
"I don't understand why. It's more work to bathe and change her," Jayce sighs.
"Will you stop?"
She laughs before realizing J.R. is still sleeping.
I told her the plan I had for the afternoon. Jayce didn't like J.R. couldn't come. I told her when she was out with Jamie and Drift, J.R. texted Drift, hoping he could keep her and Jamie out all day.
"You know she'll tell you to go."
Jayce gets up and leaves the room. I assume she needs to use the bathroom. It's not long before I hear J.R. moaning.
Guess it's a good thing she left the room.
"No, don't leave," J.R. cries.
Crosshairs: if you can, I'm going to need help with J.R.
Drift: I'm coming.
I didn't expect Drift to run into the room.
"Jamie is working," Drift tells me.
"She's having that nightmare again," I tell him.
He sent a text to the others telling them to keep the other two busy as I took the oxygen mask off J.R. We did not expect J.R. to scream. We know what it means. I put J.R. back on the bed.
"Cade decided we should be prepared," Drift comments. I see Cade prepared several syringes, "even labeled them."
Almost five months later, really Cade?
Drift gets a syringe and puts it on the table by me.
By now, J.R. is thrusting around in her sleep. We have to do something before she falls off the bed, but she thinks any touch is happening in her dream. We put the railings on both sides of the bed up though it makes helping her more challenging. Drift took the oxygen mask off, knowing J.R.'s going to wake up either hyperventilating or gasping for air.
Thirty seconds pass before I had Drift stand beside me on one side of the bed and lower the railing. After warning him, I moved J.R. to my lap as I sat on the chair by the bed. She screamed as I did this and tried to break free from my arms.
"J.R., you're ok. We're still here," I say, loud enough that J.R. hears me. Thirty seconds pass before she wakes up and looks at Drift and me before crying.
"It's ok, you know we'll never leave you, Jamie or Jayce," Drift says as he crouches down and takes J.R.'s hand. Then we both realize, part of the problem is she's in terrible pain. We waited a few minutes for J.R. to calm down a little before I laid her back on the bed. As I waited for her to calm down, Drift prepares an IV bag of pain medication after texting Hound to get clothes from J.R.'s room. As I expected, the pain increased as I laid J.R. on the bed, even though I didn't lay her flat on the bed. I hate how much pain she's in, and how she urinates on herself is a way to know how much pain she's in, unable to focus on avoiding urinating. I'm failing to keep her pain under control. I sedate her, but it'll be ten minutes before she's out.
"Here," Hound says, handing me the clothes while looking at J.R.
"Thank you, now out," I ordered.
"She's already embarrassed that we have to take care of her," Drift adds.
Hound didn't like hearing J.R.'s crying and left. Drift and I try to keep her calm until she fell asleep.
"Damn, this looks like she's not healing at all," I comment once we take her shirt off and looked at her chest. We know Jamie's been looking at J.R.'s chest and isn't concerned, but this looks awful. We cleaned and changed her, put her back on oxygen, and start the infusion.
"I fear she's losing weight," Drift comments as we clean up.
"Yeah, a good ten pounds, at least," I replied in a sad tone. I have noticed this for a while, but there's not much we can do.
"Jayce has likely lost some weight but not as much," Drift guessed as he covered J.R. with a blanket.
By the end of this, I didn't want to leave J.R. alone even if she'll be asleep for at least six hours. She's frightened and unable to know she's dreaming. She had the nightmare twice today, and it's not even noon.
We both look towards the doorway and see Jayce.
How much did she see?
Jayce POV
I walked in soon after Hound went to work on a project. I watched J.R. cry, heard Crosshairs, and Drift talk about her chest and weight loss. This is all my fault.
I fell to my knees and started crying.
I should have killed myself before all this happened. Why won't they let me?
"Shh, it's ok," Drift says as he moves me onto his lap.
"No, stop wasting your time repeating nonsense," I sobbed. I tried to break free from Drift's hug, but he hugged me tighter.
"Let's go to her room," Crosshairs suggests, "J.R. will be asleep for a while."
Still holding me, Drift stands up and walks out if the medbay, up to my room with Crosshairs following him.
Drift sits on my bed and moves in a slow rocking motion. Crosshairs sits next to him and takes my hand. I can't stop crying.
"Go get some water," Drift instructs Crosshairs as I cough from crying. I hear Drift move the trash bin close to the bed. It's bad when he knows I'm going to throw up. That's what happened as Crosshairs walks into the room.
"You're alright," Drift says as I throw up in the bin. He waits two minutes before sitting back on the bed, holding me.
"Here, you need to drink," Crosshairs hands me the bottle of water. I sip it, afraid I'm going to throw up again. Tears still roll down my face as I'm drinking.
"It's going to be ok; you need to think that way. I know it's hard to, but that's the start of healing," Drift tells me as I'm drinking.
"No, J.R. could have died from what I did because of my mental state."
"You understand what you did, that's good. J.R. will be ok, but her recovery is proving to be difficult due to her emotional struggle, causing crying and panic attacks. Cade has been monitoring her healing lung," Drift explains before hugging me.
"Take her and Jamie out, I need to stay with J.R.," Crosshairs tells Drift before leaving the room.
"What's wrong? I thought you said she was ok?" I panicked.
"She's afraid we're going to leave you three. Do you remember how she was during the nightmare situation? She needs to see one of us when she wakes up. I suspect Crosshairs is going to want her to have a nutrition drink when she wakes up."
Drift had me lay on the bed with him.
Ninety minutes later
J.R. POV
I woke up on Crosshairs on the bed.
"I'm right here," he still says.
I can't believe what my mind is thinking now. Shit, I'm like Jayce. She doesn't understand why she's been having terrifying thoughts about Jamie since Buddy's passing and look at what those thoughts turned into.
I cry over the fear I'm like Jayce, and this shit is going to last much longer, which isn't helping my nightmare that the Autobots and Cade leave us because they hate what we've become.
"It's ok," Crosshairs says as he sits up with me on his lap.
What the fuck is this? We'll now deal with emotional shit every three years?
"It's going to be ok," Crosshairs assures me after I tell him I'm afraid this won't end, my thoughts are getting worse like Jayce. My crying is causing difficulty breathing.
Crosshairs knows this scares me and tries to help me calm down and get my breathing under control. I didn't expect him to stand up, still holding me, and move in a motion moms do to try to stop a baby's crying. This is embarrassing, even if it's helping me. Curious if he'd be walking around the room if I wasn't connected to the infusion pump. A few minutes pass before I stop crying but breathing heavily.
Crosshairs lays me on the bed and puts the oxygen mask back in before sitting in the chair beside the bed and takes my hand.
"Relax, we're not leaving you or the other two, and we'll get through this."
Twenty minutes pass before Crosshairs wants me to have a nutrition drink. He wanted me to eat food, but I'm not hungry. I know I've lost a lot of weight.
How much longer is this shit going to last?