I have another event-filled chapter for you. Gwin, Elrohir, and Saeradan continue their desperate search for Candaith and Elladan. What will the day bring? Read on to find out!

Chapter 77

I took a deep breath as my eyes opened. The stars were still shining, but I could see the beginnings of dawn just on the horizon. Elrohir was still breathing next to me, but it was shallow and the shivering was more pronounced now. I disentangled myself and stoked the fire back into life before lying back down to try and rewarm him up. Saeradan was set apart from us a little, keeping watch. I cast my eyes back up to the sky and reflected on my dream.

Seeing my mother again…it was something I had longed for. Almost a millennia had passed since she left, and I had slowly forgotten what she looked like; it was crystal clear now. We shared the same green, almond-shaped eyes, but her hair was lighter in color, and always a little wild with curls. She was prone to laugh, at least before my father and brothers died, and she had a lovely singing voice that lit up the whole room. The way she moved was somewhat clumsy, which is likely where I got my own clumsiness from, and it always made my father laugh.

The advice she gave was welcome, but it would take some time to process. Yes, I knew I was strong…but was I as strong as she believed me to be? Sometimes I felt weak, especially now, while I struggled with my grief. It was a constant, physical ache in my chest that refused to lessen, no matter how much I tried to reason it away.

While I knew there was much to do in this world to fight against the evils of Sauron and Saruman, its importance seemed to diminish as my despair over Candaith took its place. I would do anything to see him returned safe and sound, even at the expense of my own life. I could die at peace if I knew he was well. Not that I wanted to die, but in my line of work, it had always been always a risk.

I decided I would fight the urge to fade with everything I had, even if I found out Candaith no longer lived. As my mother said, there was much to do, and many others in my life who cared for me and would miss me if I passed on. Even if I simply went through the motions of fighting the enemy, it would be better than giving up my self-appointed task.

At least, this is what I told myself.

The question was, did I really have the strength to fight such a battle? Or would it all be for naught? I cast a critical eye on my skin, and noted it was whiter than it had ever been, with a strange shimmer to it. What did it signify? How far had I already gone down this road to fading?

However, I had no time to dwell on my own struggles, and pushed them aside, like always.

Currently, I needed to try and save Elrohir.

"Muindor, it is time to awaken," I whispered, feeling a little guilty at disturbing him. "We must continue on." Elrohir shifted beside me and whimpered, and it broke my heart. "Elrohir, can you open your eyes for me?"

Slowly he blinked them open, and I noted how weary and dull they looked. His jet-black hair had lost its shine, and he almost seemed not to 'see' me, even as he looked up at me.

"Elrohir?" I continued, a little more urgently. "Stay with me."

He blinked a little more, and his eyes cleared a bit. "Gwin?" he croaked. "What…where?" He was disoriented, and I couldn't blame him.

I pulled him a little closer to me, but still kept his eyes locked on mine, "We must rise; Elladan and Candaith need us." At this, he took a shuddering breath, and I was alarmed at how it seemed to rattle. "Our search must continue."

He gave a small nod, "Could…could you h-help me sit up?" I obliged, and had him drink slowly from his miruvor-spiked water skin and take a bite of lembas. Although I was a little chilled, I gave him my cloak; he needed it more than me.

I swung up onto my horse, and Saeradan handed Elrohir up into my arms, like we had been doing. He sagged against me, and I put my arm securely around his waist once more. I knew his eyes would not be useful today, but Saeradan was a good tracker, and I had some skill of my own.

We decided to make our way further to the east. I had a thought that perhaps they had found refuge in Ergothorn's previous cave, although it was quite some distance from the Forsaken Road. It was a secluded spot, and would be a safe place to recover. Going back there gave me mixed feelings; I had fond memories of my time there, but thinking about my part in Ergothorn's injuries made me feel guilty. He told me not to blame myself, but how could I not? He went to the Dunedain camp specifically to tell the others where I was; if he had not done so, perhaps he would still be here, warm by the fire and working on his maps. His roguish, smiling face appeared behind my eyes, and it made me feel even more sad.

Shaking off these memories, we made good time. All of us armed ourselves, including Elrohir, although he didn't seem very threatening as he leaned heavily against a tree, his arm shaking with the weight of his sword. Saeradan went first and moved the branches aside, entering slowly and silently.

That is, until he abruptly came back out and shouted, "Wargs!" We had a few seconds to prepare ourselves before five of them came running at us, and I stood in front of Elrohir to protect him, despite his half-hearted protests from behind me. It was a fierce battle; we were outnumbered, but the wargs seemed half-starved and not as strong as a healthy one would be. I just barely managed to stop one from tearing off Elrohir's arm with a well-placed slice, but could not prevent the spray of blood that went all over him. Elrohir had barely reacted, which I found both frustrating and alarming.

Eventually the wargs were dead, and despite a few claw marks on our arms and a bruise on Saeradan's torso from where one of them charged head-first, we were unharmed. I hastily wiped my knives clean before focusing on Elrohir. He was covered in blood and staring at his hands blankly. "Sereg…", he whispered. I quickly took some linen and wiped his hands clean, but he barely seemed to notice. Instead, he mumbled, "Elladan's blood…my fault…" before crumpling to the ground. I was unable to catch him in time, and he scraped against a tree before lying in a heap on the pine needle-covered dirt.

"Elrohir!" I called, shaking him, but he did not respond. "Echuio!" I shook his shoulders harder, but nothing happened. His eyes were shut tightly. "Elrohir, please," I begged. "Stay with me…you have to wake up." Saeradan had crouched down next to me, his eyes full of alarm, but his face remained calm as he handed me his flask of miruvor. "Help me open his mouth." I was able to force Elrohir to swallow some, and his faint breathing became steadier, but he did not awaken. His skin was almost translucent, and ice cold. It was almost as if…

…as if he was dying.

The cave had been my last hope, and I didn't know where to go from here. I grabbed the beryl out of Elrohir's bag and said harshly, "Aiya, Elladan! You better come here right now or you will regret it." I struggled not to cry. "Your brother is dying and he needs you or it will be too late!" I need you both. I looked up at Saeradan in despair, and cradled the fading Elrohir to my chest, ignoring the blood getting all over my clothes.

The ranger looked grim. "We must get him back to camp. There are more medicinal supplies there, and Calenglad is a skilled healer. Perhaps there is something he can do." I think we both doubted it, but we had nothing to lose. "I will go ahead and prepare them, and you can follow me."

"But what of the search?" I asked desperately.

Saeradan sighed, and looked at me sadly. "We must set it aside for now; Elrohir needs help, and so do you, even if you deny you need it." I wanted to protest, and hated how right he was. Elrohir needed help now, and there was nothing to do but get him somewhere safe.

I mounted up and hung on to the unconscious Elrohir, and watched Saeradan gallop hard as we followed at a slightly slower pace. I could not go as fast as him, as there were two of us on my horse, but I went as speedily as I dared. If I remembered right, it would take several hours to get there from here. "Stay with me, muindor," I kept repeating in Elrohir's ear, but if he heard me, I could not tell. "I cannot bear to lose you too."

After what felt like forever, we rode into the camp, and Radanir took Elrohir from my arms, looking afraid, both at Elrohir's condition and mine, before bringing him into Calenglad's large tent. He had set up a cot and a table full of supplies, including warm athelas water. "I sent a rider on to Echad Dagoras to fetch a healer from Echad Mirobel. I hope they can get here in time…" Calenglad said softly, but somewhat doubtfully. It would take at least two days for one to reach the ranger outpost at Echad Dagoras, plus the time it took to get the message to Echad Mirobel. It could be a week before a healer arrived.

I did not know if we had that long.

As I watched Calenglad work, I cursed shirking off on the opportunities to learn healing from Lord Elrond. He had offered several times while teaching his sons, but I wasn't interested. It would have been useful to at least know some of the healing 'spells' the twins would sometimes use.

The athelas water seemed to calm him from his restlessness, but he was frighteningly pale and would not wake, even with painful stimuli. Calenglad gently cleaned the rest of the blood from his face and arms, and after a moment of contemplation, he put an athelas salve on his chest, where his heart was. When I asked him about it, he shrugged, "Elrohir is fading, and from what I understand, it is an ailment of the soul. Perhaps this will help soothe some of the pain."

"Anything you can think of to help, it is worth it to try," I replied, thankful for his aid. "Perhaps I will try the same on myself." Calenglad's eyes flashed with concern as he considered the meaning of my words, and he assessed me critically, but I held up a hand. "Do not worry for me, mellon nin. I will be fine." Whether this was true or not was still to be determined. The ranger shook his head in frustration at my stubbornness, but I did not want to waste athelas Elrohir needed on me.

Calenglad worked through the afternoon and evening, continually replacing the athelas water to keep it warm and fresh, and keeping him covered with blankets. He put a hot plate under the mattress to warm the bed, and I think it helped with the shivering. The cot was too small for me to lie next to him, and the area needed to be clear for Calenglad to work. Even so, I sat by his side and held his hand, singing and speaking of happy memories we shared and all the reasons he had to keep living.

"Do you not wish to see your sister marry Estel?" I said softly. "She will be such a beautiful bride, and you know how happy they are together." I felt a pang of longing in my chest for Candaith, but pushed it aside. "I am sure the celebration will be impressive, with plenty of single Elleths around to flirt with." My lips quirked up as I recalled how much Elrohir and Elladan liked to interact with the ladies, who fawned over them constantly. "Perhaps you will meet one that I can tease you about."

I thought a little more. "You would be a great honnaneth (uncle) to Arwen and Estel's children. I am sure you would spoil them rotten, and Arwen would roll her eyes at you but let you do whatever you wanted." I swallowed at the lump in my throat. "I...I bet if I had children, you would love them too." The possibility of this was slim if Candaith wasn't alive. I briefly considered if it was possible to love again if he died, but the thought made me want to throw up. I could not imagine falling in love with someone else; how could I bond with another when my soul was already a part of Candaith's?

I shook myself and refocused on what I was doing. "You know, Arwen seemed very determined to get you or Elladan to court me when she was younger and dreaming about romance. She just didn't seem to understand that the two of you are like brothers to me. Or rather, did not want to accept it!" I chuckled. "Do you remember when she locked the two of us in the wine cellar in Imladris? Instead of one of us confessing our undying love for the other, we broke into the Dorwinion and planned how to get revenge. She was not amused when we dyed her hair purple." I sighed. "No mellon nin, there is another Elleth out there for you, but you have to stay alive in order to meet her." During all of this, Elrohir did not stir, and the only sign he was alive was the shallow rise and fall of his chest. It reminded me eerily of how Ergothorn had looked when I had come across him on the ground.

Many hours had passed, and there was no change in Elrohir's condition. The one positive was that he was not getting any worse. I hoped what we were doing was helping, but could not tell for sure. Calenglad had forced some food and water on me, as I had forgotten to eat. Sometimes Saeradan would sit beside me, his quiet presence providing a little support.

I looked outside and noticed with some surprise that the sun had set. I squeezed Elrohir's hand and looked at Saeradan, who was again sitting on a stool near the bed. "Will you watch over him for a little while?" He nodded with a small smile, and I wandered into the starlight.

Again, my eyes found Earendil sailing across the sky, and I felt a swell of desperation bubble up. "If there is anything you can do, anything at all," I began, feeling a little foolish addressing him up there, "Please help. Your grandsons need it to survive." Nothing happened, but I was unsurprised; I was wishing on a star, really.

I made my way towards the lake at the edge of camp, and nodded to Radanir, who was currently on watch. He gave me a sad sort of smile, and it reminded me how close he and Candaith had become over the months of travel together. The stars and sliver of the moon reflected beautifully on the water, but it brought me little joy this night. The air was still, and the sound of crickets was calming and familiar.

I settled myself on a log, staring at my clenched hands. I startled as someone sat next to me, and the solemn gaze of Ergothorn's met mine. It was strange seeing such a serious expression on his face, and I had to look away as it made me wonder how I must appear. Could he see the despair in my eyes?

"Gwin," he began, "I cannot begin to understand your pain, and will not insult you by saying everything will be all right, because it may not be." He sighed. "However, you have friends, and family who are here to support you and Elrohir."

"I know," I replied, my voice sounding small. "There is nothing to be done, except wait and hope." I leaned forward and put my head in my hands. "Yet, if there is any hope, I cannot find it."

There were a few minutes of silence, and I wondered what he was thinking. Eventually, he said, "I thought I was done for, while trying to fight off the person who ambushed me. I felt lost in darkness, as I lay there, and for a long while, I assumed I would pass on to the house of my fathers. It felt like both a moment and an Age between the attack on the plains and awakening here in the camp." I turned my head to look at him, and he gave me a small smile. "Yet, here I am, alive and well and having a conversation with you."

I huffed a laugh that sounded forced, "That is true, but I cannot expect such luck again."

"Who's to say it was luck?" he countered. "Perhaps there is a reason I survived."

"Is it to drive me crazy?" I replied, but tried to smile so he could tell I was joking.

He laughed a little, "Hopefully it is more than that, although I am happy to fulfill that purpose." There was silence again, and I started to get lost in my melancholic thoughts again. "Gwin, do not lose hope. They may still be out there, trying to get home to you." His voice sounded earnest, and I wanted to believe him, that there was some chance Elladan and Candaith still lived. When I did not reply, he added, "I will leave you to your thoughts, but do not sit in despair for too long. It will only consume you, my friend." He stood and squeezed my shoulder, before I heard him walk away from me and into the main area of the camp.

After what felt like only a few minutes but could have been much longer, I found myself squinting across the water at something. It was indistinct and shimmering, and I wondered if I was imagining it due to my lack of rest. I glanced at Radanir and noticed he did not seem to see it. I stood and moved a little closer to the water, my eyes trained on the possible mirage.

I gasped as it became clearer, and Radanir was next to me a few seconds later, his eyes trained across the lake. "What is that?" he whispered, sounding both awed and anxious.

"I do not know," I whispered back, afraid to move any closer and have it disappear. I did not have my weapons on me, but Radanir slipped me a dagger. Whatever it was did not feel threatening, but looks could be deceiving. Against my better judgement, I said, "Let us move closer." Radanir looked at me a little doubtfully, but followed my lead.

Things are looking dire for everyone. Is there any hope left for a happy reunion? I hope you enjoyed the rollercoaster of emotions our characters were feeling; I certainly felt them while I was writing this. Let's face it, I get too involved in what they are going through! I'm sure other authors can relate. Anyway, thanks for reading, and review/follow/favorite if you have a moment!