Chapter CV – The Demands of the Order

Bishop watched the sunset in a somewhat somber mood.

Karnwyr nuzzled his head into his flank in a half-hearted lazy attempt to nudge him and get his attention, but after a few tries, he gave up and laid it on his legs instead. Bishop was too preoccupied with wallowing in his thoughts. He rubbed the wolf absentmindedly behind the ears. His mind was far from the beautiful sunset, from the fresh winter air and the pleasant calm around them.

He couldn't stop thinking about her.

How could he not? She went to assault a fucking vampire lair. Just with… him. And Bishop couldn't even watch her back. He didn't trust the tin-head not to do anything stupid in battle and endanger her needlessly. After all, the last time that he had dragged her to battle, she almost died!

Well… it wasn't exactly a battle back then, but… one thing was for certain. He had no concern for her safety when he had some fucking holy crusade on his mind.

If anything happened to her…

This time, Bishop would kill him. No more hesitation. That fucking tin-head would not get away with it again.

It was infuriating that he could not be there to watch her back because of that asshole's whims. Any time when they have previously been separated for some dangerous endeavor, they were forced into it – by being imprisoned or by some stupid initiation traditions in the Companions. This time he could have been there, but that tin-head wouldn't allow it. So Bishop was forced to sit there and twiddle his thumbs while she put herself at risk with only him to watch her back. Bishop trusted him even less then the fucking Companions. Even if she went in alone, he would have been more at ease – at least she would know what she was getting into. This way, she was counting on someone to be there. And what if he suddenly wasn't?

He wasn't there for Jules. And he counted on Casavir's protection too.

But he died anyway.

All because that tin-head was more concerned with slaughtering as many bandits as possible, instead of watching out for the man whom he promised to protect.

If Bishop was allowed to be there with Aeyrin today, at least he could have ensured that something like that wouldn't have happened again.

But this way, he just felt so… useless.

He let out a deep sigh before Karnwyr whined at him quietly. The wolf could always tell when Bishop was upset. He nuzzled into his torso in comfort while his nose burrowed into his stomach.

It always used to help for some reason.

It didn't now.

She should be back by now, shouldn't she? Although… he might have seen them from his vantage point. Unless he missed it. It was not like he's been watching for them the entire time after all… he was just… in the area a lot, around the city approach. Not always though.

He nudged the wolf away from himself gently and got up on his feet.

He couldn't sit still anymore.

With another heavy sigh, he started walking towards the city with determination.

…

Casavir laid Aeyrin down onto his bed as gently as possible. Her eyes were closed, creating a strangely peaceful image, while her face was still pale and discolored in a horrific contrast.

She was dressed in simple white robes from the temple – the priests needed to check her for any injuries and they couldn't very well do that with her armor on. But she was hale. She only suffered the deep bite on her neck… and the severe blood loss. There was nothing else that anyone could do. They worked their spells and there was not much to do but wait. She would be borderline comatose for a while but… she would recover.

He covered her with the feather-soft blankets and tucked them in firmly to keep her warm. He was unable to help himself but stroke her golden hair gently for a bit. It was so soft, even after a day of sweating in armor and crawling through a filthy cavern.

He could have prevented this. It was his fault. He got so careless and irrational when he thought that she'd been hurt.

She almost died.

A knock on the door interrupted his trail of thoughts.

"It is opened," he couldn't help but sigh as he retreated from her. He gave her one more regretful look before his eyes turned to the door where the young Redguard appeared.

"How is she?" Azshan's brows were creased in worry.

Casavir wasn't sure if it was sincere. He's never been sure with Azshan. That man was constantly joking around, he was always derisive of his vows and his standing as a paladin but… for some reason, Casavir had never been able to discern whether he was really only joking.

It made him uneasy.

Uneasy to the point where he questioned every word that came out of Azshan's mouth.

"She will recover. She just needs rest. You should…" he inclined his head towards the door.

"Cas, she's my friend," Azshan frowned at him angrily. He obviously didn't appreciate the way in which he was being chased out of the room.

"I asked you not to call me that! We are hardly that familiar with each other for you to give… pet names to your superior," Casavir barked at him. He could not help himself. His nerves were already strained too much and Azshan's disrespect certainly did not add to it.

"Sir Casavir, sir. May I stay with my friend for a while, sir?" Azshan practically sneered at him.

Casavir wanted to refuse him so badly, but… he had no energy to further this exchange.

"Do not disturb her rest," he answered sternly before he walked towards the door. He gave her one last long glance. He would return soon to make sure that she was resting well. And to make sure that Azshan didn't overstay his reluctant welcome.

He walked into the hallway, suddenly uncertain what to do with himself.

He needed to prepare a report of the mission against the vampire clan. The General has asked to see him too. He needed to check the temple to see the condition of his wounded men and women. He had to send the promised material gathered from the lairs to the College. And he needed to overview the plans for the next operation – there have been rumors of a cave full of hagravens, threatening anyone in the vicinity, even here up north. It was unusual.

But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to think about any of these tasks.

"Sir Casavir," a soldier interrupted Casavir's thoughts again.

Why was everyone constantly talking to him? And why did it suddenly anger and frustrate him so much?

What he wouldn't give for only five minutes of… rest… silence… sleep…

"What is it?" he turned to the soldier.

"There… there is a… man. He demanded to know if you were back from the mission. And now… he's demanding to see the Dragonborn. What should we do, sir?" the soldier shrugged nervously. He was likely uncertain whether he could bother him with something like that.

Bishop…

Another worry to add to the infinite list.

He should go deal with him before that scoundrel assaults someone again.

"Thank you for informing me. I will handle this," he nodded at the soldier. The man seemed relieved.

Casavir was kind of used to how the soldiers were behaving around him and the other paladins by now. There was always the exaggerated deference and a hint of frightful respect. The paladins had much better training, after all, and they could best any of the soldiers in battle in a blink of an eye. Most of them treated Casavir and his compatriots as if they were their superiors, even though their Order was completely separate from the Legion, despite their close cooperation. But Casavir knew that it was not just that – he could always see the uncertainty and… contempt in their eyes. The soldiers did their work for meager pay or out of patriotism and they could not comprehend a religious calling. They also despised how the paladins were celebrated by the general population.

It was understandable, of course, but sometimes dealing with the Legion wasn't easy because of this.

Neither was dealing with their General, for that matter. Their methods often… differed vastly.

But Casavir had other problems to deal with now.

He left the soldier behind and started walking towards the Castle entrance.

…

Casavir saw Bishop pacing around the courtyard. The anger was apparent in his face, even from a distance. He would make things even more difficult for certain. Even the look on his face when he noticed that Casavir was walking towards him alone, let the paladin know that he was beyond furious.

Casavir approached him while he braced himself for the inevitable storm coming.

"YOU! What the fuck happened?! Where is she?!" Bishop yelled at him instantly.

"Calm yourself. She was wounded but she is taken care of," he answered with a stony expression.

"The fuck does that mean?! Take me to her! NOW!" Bishop fumed, eliciting a deep frown from Casavir.

What was he after? He could not speak to her, in any case, let alone manipulate her into sating his lusts, as he without a doubt planned.

"I will not. She is resting. She doesn't need you disturbing her," Casavir kept his stony expression with a determined shake of his head. It was enough that Azshan was there with her, he wouldn't let another man that he didn't trust hover around her without his supervision. They would only interfere with her recovery. And… this was Casavir's mess. He needed to make sure that it was fixed properly.

Bishop suddenly lunged at him and grabbed the hems of his shirt violently. His face was practically red with anger as his eyes stared Casavir down.

"You fucking bastard! This is all your fault! Every fucking time you get near her, she barely survives! Take me to her, now! Or I swear, I will end you!"

'This is all your fault'. The words rang in Casavir's ears unpleasantly.

Casavir grabbed him by his wrists and yanked him from himself roughly, freeing his tunic from his grasp, before he shoved him further away.

Bishop did not hesitate for a second though. It was so clear in his face that his anger has taken over all his actions. His hand clenched into a fist and he sent it right into the paladin's face.

Casavir wasn't fast enough. The pain spread through his jaw as the fist connected and the bones in his face vibrated painfully. He couldn't help the grunt escaping his mouth, but he was not deterred. He reacted instantly.

His own fist flew into Bishop's angry face. He felt his nose crack under the blow.

The soldiers at the castle gates perked up instantly and, soon enough, the clattering of their armor echoed through the courtyard as they rushed towards the two men with their weapons brandished.

Bishop grunted in pain, clutching his nose, as he threw a hateful glare at Casavir. But when the soldiers finally made their way to them, his eyes darted to the two swords that were almost aiming at him.

He wavered.

"Leave. Leave now before I have you arrested again. Believe me, she would not get you out of this again. You are never to set foot near the Castle again!" Casavir snarled at him as the guards threw him an uncertain look.

Bishop knew that he had no choice now – Casavir could see the defeat in his eyes.

He… he looked almost… pitiable… desperate.

Why did he want to see her so much?

Did he… did he actually care?

If he didn't know any better, Casavir could have sworn that he saw Bishop's hands shake and eyes glaze over slightly, as if the despair was winning over his anger.

What was wrong with him? He couldn't feel sympathy for this scum, could he?

"She…" Casavir's voice quivered slightly in uncertainty. It was likely just stress and exhaustion, wreaking havoc on his emotions. But the words left him nonetheless. "She will be fine, Bishop."

Bishop's face was still laced with anger as he straightened himself while the blood from his nose dripped over his lips. He looked at the guards again. Once more, a waver.

He didn't answer and instead he turned on his heel suddenly before he started to walk away at a rather brisk pace.

Casavir let out a deep sigh of relief. Even though Bishop very much deserved to be imprisoned or even killed by the soldiers, Casavir did not want things to escalate even further just then for some reason. He only lit his hand with magic and pressed it against his jaw.

"Sir Casavir, do you… do you want us to do something about him?" one of the soldiers gave him an uncertain expression.

"No. If he comes back near here, chase him away. If he doesn't listen, you have my permission to arrest him," he nodded determinedly before he headed back towards the Castle.

He needed to check on Aeyrin.

…

Two nights have passed.

Aeyrin awoke for a couple of minutes twice yesterday, but she didn't speak. Mostly she just shivered and huddled in her blankets while Casavir took the opportunity to call in a priest instantly to feed her and care for her.

Bishop has returned to the courtyard several times, as the soldiers reported, but he didn't engage anyone. He was mostly just walking around and lurking. He was without a doubt scouting the grounds and trying to find another entrance in.

But Casavir wasn't worried about that. The Castle was secure and Bishop would not find a way in from the battlements which would be accessible without alerting all the soldiers. He has been lurking all around the courtyard, but he must have known as much. He has never tried anything, never demanded to see her again. He must have finally realized that, whatever his plan with her was, it was not worth the effort of infiltrating the Castle.

Casavir finally finished attending to his correspondence and he placed the missives onto the General's desk. He was already eager to get back to Aeyrin and check her condition. It was likely that she would be waking soon.

He walked to his chambers somewhat briskly and when he opened the door, he still found her still huddled in his blankets, sleeping. He sat at the chair by the bed and his hand instinctively clasped hers comfortingly.

He wasn't sure why it soothed him too. Perhaps because when he could feel her hand, warm in his, he was sure that she was relatively well and recovering. If his recklessness caused her death, he would have never forgiven himself. While, at a rather young age, he has come to terms with the inevitable truth that he could not save everyone in battle, this was different. This was something that he caused. And it was someone that he admired, someone that filled him with strange wistfulness and nostalgia for some reason.

And it was someone that could have saved the world.

No one would ever forgive him if his recklessness caused her death.

But her warm hand reassured him. She was going to be alright.

After a moment, he felt her hand clench briefly around his. Her eyes fluttered slightly before they opened in tired slowness.

"C-Casav'r?" she spoke hoarsely. She seemed uncertain of what her eyes were seeing.

"I am here, my lady. Do not fear, you will be alright. You just need rest. You… you've lost a lot of blood," Casavir's voice was filled with regret.

"Oh…" She seemed to be bringing herself to some more. "Thank… thank you…"

She shivered in her blankets as she tried to sit up. He supported her by the shoulders promptly, helping her sit securely on the bed with her back to the headboard.

"H-how long…?"

"You have been resting for two nights, my lady. You should feel much better in a day or so, but I would like to keep you here a little longer. We need to be certain that you are fully recovered and… and that you do not show any signs of… the illness…" he rubbed the back of his neck with a hint of guilt on his face.

"Illness?" she threw him a confused expression, blinking rapidly as if she was trying to remember what happened.

"Porphyric Hemophilia, my lady. Or… Sanguinare Vampiris as they call it here. We have mixed a potion in your water, but I would still like to make sure. Did you… did you have any strange… dreams?" he looked her over worriedly before he gently took hold of her jaw and tilted her head to the side to see if there was any trace of the puncture wounds on her neck still. Wounds after a vampire bite did not close as readily as regular wounds did under magical treatment, but it would be really worrying if any hint of them would be visible after two days.

"I… don't remember any…" she shrugged uncertainly.

"That is a good sign. Like I said, you should only feel better now," he smiled. There was a brief moment of silence before he sighed and shook his head regretfully. "My lady, I am very sorry for what has transpired. This was all my fault. I have… I have made a brash decision and I have risked your life recklessly," his head hung low.

"Don't be silly. It wasn't your fault. You cannot predict everything in battle…" she gave him a kind smile, although her words were still a bit mumbled in her tired state.

So compassionate and gentle…

Stop.

He returned her smile gratefully and squeezed her hand in his with trepidation.

She didn't pull away.

There was another moment of silence before she seemed to get nervous. She looked down onto the blanket that covered her, while she began blushing slightly, biting her lower lip.

Divines, was he being too forward? Was he making her uncomfortable?

"C-Casavir? Could I… could I see Bishop, please?" she gave him a pleading look. The reason for the trepidation behind her words was suddenly very clear. Casavir's reluctance to comply was, after all, very predictable.

He so wished that they didn't have to discuss him again. He didn't want to see the hurt in her eyes again when he told her.

"My lady, I am sorry. You cannot…" he sighed regretfully.

"Why?" her voice quivered slightly in petulant exasperation.

"I… I do not wish to upset you," he shook his head somberly.

"What happened?" she insisted while her eyes still kept pleading at him. This was so painful to get through.

"He… he attacked me again, my lady. I did not have him arrested again for you sake but… I cannot allow him here, I simply cannot…"

Who knew why Bishop was really so adamant about seeing her? This was a building full of military plans and secrets after all. Not that Casavir assumed Bishop to be affiliated with the war in any way, but he was certainly not above selling such secrets or blackmailing someone with them. As confident as Casavir was in the security of the Castle, he would still not risk it. Besides, who knew what Bishop's intention with Aeyrin was? She needed to rest and recuperate properly and Casavir would see to it in any way that he could.

She withdrew her hand from him and buried her face in her palms in exhausted despair. Her golden locks fell slowly over and in front of her downturned face, hiding her from view.

"I am really sorry…" he didn't know what else to say.

He felt like he would do anything to make her happy just then. But he couldn't do that. He could never bring himself to do that.

He got up from the chair with a sigh when she didn't speak further. Her face was still hidden in her hands adamantly.

"Get some rest, my lady. You will feel better," he sighed again. There was not much else that he could have said.

He decided to leave the room rather than to torment himself with the sight of her.

He got the urge to embrace her and console her and he feared that he would succumb to it, should he stay any longer.

…

It has been going on for hours.

They were all screaming in outrage, clamoring to get attention.

Casavir gave the General an uncertain expression. The man was the perfect picture of a stony face. And people tended to accuse Casavir of that… Clearly it was only those that have never seen this man face off a group of angry nobles.

"Settle down! I have explained this to you already. My men and the Order are all patrolling the farms. They are on the lookout for the beast. This will not happen again," Tullius raised his voice at the crowd in front of him.

"And do what?! We've already lost everything! And what are they gonna do with the beast? They can't kill it!" one of the nobles yelled angrily.

This was just what they needed… a dragon attack on the nobles' farms and estates. The beast wreaked havoc and retreated with no further sign of it. The damage was done. What else was there to do?

"It will happen again! We hear the Dragonborn is here, wounded, maybe even dead! How is that helpful?!" an angry woman screamed at them.

How did they know already?! How did all these rumors get out so fast? This was getting out of control.

"Ladies, gentlemen, please, we are doing everything we can to battle these beasts, but there is no…" Casavir stood up from the chair in Tullius's cramped office while making a soothing gesture with his hands. It did not help. He got interrupted almost instantly.

"That was doing everything you can?! We have lost our land, our harvests, our houses! We demand compensation!"

"COMPENSATION?! THERE IS A WAR ON! But I doubt that you have noticed from the windows of your mansions!" Tullius stood up angrily. His face turned red with wrath in an instant.

There goes the stony expression.

"General, please…" Casavir frowned at him. This was hardly helpful.

"There is no money for your compensation! You did not lose everything! You have your holdings, you have merely lost a fraction of your fortunes! No lives were lost either! Stop wasting our time with your petty grievances!" Tullius fumed as his fists clenched.

This would not end well…

Why would he not let Casavir take care of placating the nobles?! He was certainly more equipped for that task. Yelling at them would only make things worse, but what else could Casavir expect from the General.

The room went quiet before the first raised voice rang through again as one of the nobles exclaimed. "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! We have lost fortunes and this is what we get from you?! And you take our money without a second's hesitation for your war! The Queen will hear about this!"

The crowd rabbled in accord before they all stormed off from the office along with their riled up cries.

Casavir's head fell into his hands in exhaustion.

This was a disaster. If the nobles were to withdraw their support for the war… He didn't even want to imagine that. Meanwhile, there were rumors that Ulfric has been gaining more and more nobility and funds to his cause.

This was the fate of Skyrim they were balancing and the General decides to antagonize their largest investors.

"Have heart, Sir Casavir. Barking dogs never bite," Tullius scoffed dismissively before he walked towards the door and held it open, signaling to Casavir that he should leave his office as well.

How helpful…

…

"Come on, cheer up," Azshan poked Aeyrin's arm, pouting.

She shook her head with a wry smile at him. It was still staggering just how much he reminded her of his younger childish self. She was really glad for it though. It was a little taste of home that she has sorely missed. Still… she couldn't make herself cheer up like he wished.

"I'm cheerful. Really. See?" she gave him a rather unconvincing grin.

"Yeah right! I can see that," he rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "Come on, what's bugging you? Is Cas being too controlling?"

"No… not… exactly…" she sighed. She was grateful to Casavir and she understood where he was coming from, but… some of his conditions weren't exactly helping her relax in her recuperation. "I just… I just wish I could see him," she blushed, lowering her eyes.

"Divines, you are really codependent," Azshan laughed heartily. "Don't you worry. I'm sure you'll see him soon enough."

She knew that once she didn't need to be under observation, she could see Bishop, but she still wished that it would have been sooner. He saw her over two day ago when they parted by the inn and since then, she had no idea what he had been doing and if he even knew that she was fine.

He must have been so worried. She couldn't just cruelly leave him so concerned without any reassurance.

"Could you do me a favor, Azshan?" she gave him a pleading look.

"Anything. You know that," his smile could light up the entire room. His green eyes were so gentle and caring. That, however, made her even more uncomfortable asking for this.

"Could you… could you maybe… give him a message for me?" she bit her lower lip nervously. She wasn't sure how he would react after Bishop assaulted Casavir.

She gave her a strange expression. Was it her imagination, or did he look like he would refuse for a second there? But in a moment, his eyes lit up and he nodded at her.

"Sure thing. What do you want him to know?" he smiled at her comfortingly.

…

Casavir walked into the canteen and looked over the soldiers and paladins sitting by the tables, chatting together.

Nobody has noticed him yet. Maybe he could just snatch a plate of food and sneak back into his chambers. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He felt like he's had enough of people and their complaints and demands after today.

But… the prospect of spending his dinnertime with her wasn't as daunting.

Unless she would bring up the subject of Bishop again.

But, in any case, Aeyrin was probably the only company he could take right then. She wouldn't try to argue about politics, she wouldn't demand anything from him. And now that he has told her why Bishop was not allowed to see her, he would not have to consider his words carefully around her and they could just… talk. Without the incessant concerns of his life taking over.

Divines, he needed to relax so badly. He needed to rest. He felt a little guilty at how much he was looking forward to sleeping in his own bed without everyone around.

Maybe he wouldn't even mind if she was still there…

Stop it this instant!

He let out an almost silent sigh before he looked over the tables of food. Maybe he could really pull this off without anyone noticing.

But then… he overheard something that caught his attention. Three of his paladins were talking at one of the tables nearby.

"… I mean what else is there to do? She's gonna leave as soon as she recovers. It would make everything so much easier," Riana sighed, shaking her head at Gaegorn who sat beside her.

"Well… what would you actually do? You can't force her to stay here and be our personal… dragon killer, I suppose…" the Bosmer only shrugged at her.

"I know! I just… you know… she was always sleeping and the nobles were all riled up… I was just thinking… if she stayed like that… unconscious, we could… make the best of it. Use it to ease the tension. If they knew we had a way to kill the dragons at our disposal…"

Was his ears deceiving him?! Was she actually suggesting… keeping her in that state?!

This was… these were the honorable paladins under his command?! With notions of keeping Aeyrin unconscious in order use her as they pleased? That was despicable and it was against everything that a paladin should stand for! Has Casavir failed them? He's done everything that he could to keep them on the right path.

Maybe… maybe they've made a mistake… putting him in charge.

Maybe he wasn't cut out for this…

"That's… wow…" the voice behind him made him jerk in surprise.

Casavir didn't even notice him before! Azshan stood behind him with his arms folded across his chest. His brows were creased in worry as he stared at the three paladins at the table – Riana, Gaegorn and Teritus. There was also a small group of soldiers sitting nearby. Their attention seemed caught by the conversation – they may have been a part of it.

Casavir marched towards the table briskly and he slammed his hand upon it, making all present diners jerk in shock.

"You will cease this talk instantly! And if I ever hear this kind of thing from any of you, there will be consequences!" he snapped at them angrily with a stern threatening look.

"Y-yes, Sir Casavir. I… I apologize. We were just… it was just idle talk…" Riana recoiled from him with fear in her eyes. At least he still commanded some respect, even if he obviously failed to lead by example.

"Talk is no less dangerous. Never again!"

He marched towards the table with food and filled a plate for himself angrily before he started walking back towards his chambers. He wasn't even sure if he was still hungry after all that. It was mostly automatic. He marched in pointedly angry strides, if only to get away from everyone in the room.

But, much to his surprise, Azshan stopped him in his tracks just as he left the canteen. He had an uncharacteristically grateful smile on his face.

"That was good… sir. This kind of thing cannot be tolerated. I… I am glad someone like you is in charge, sir."

Was Casavir just imagining it, or did he really seem… sincere? There wasn't even a hint of disdain when he called him 'sir'.

Casavir's face softened lightly. Maybe he's been too rash in his suspicions of Azshan. At the very least, the man let his concerns about the Order and any of their concerns up on the surface, concealed only by the mockery. It was certainly better than the other, who apparently were all too happy to comply with everything that Casavir had ordered them to, only to sow dissidence behind his back.

And if nothing else, Azshan has cared for Aeyrin. They have been friends for a long time. It was… unfair of Casavir to let his feelings about the man's incessant levity cloud his judgment on what was really important.

"Sir… may I ask you something?" Azshan fidgeted suddenly. He seemed somewhat nervous.

Casavir gave him an expectant look and nodded in response.

"I… I'm just a little worried about Aeyrin. I trust your judgement and… well… you mentioned that… that her companion was… a criminal. What… what did he do?" Azshan gave him a curious look, waiting eagerly for a response.

That was… a difficult question…

As much as Casavir knew of Bishop's past, he didn't exactly have evidence supporting any of it. He only knew the things that he had found out from his… sources. And from Jules. And there was certainly no evidence of what Bishop has done to Elisie.

There was only one thing that Casavir could accuse Bishop of legally… but…

It didn't sit well with him. As much as he wanted Bishop to be punished and brought to justice, this was the one charge which he knew to be… unfair.

It would be so easy to tell Azshan about it, to let this out and to let the justice system take its course.

But this was no justice.

It was vengeance.

And he'd be damned if he let his hatred for Bishop corrupt his integrity. He was better than this. He had to be.

"Let us just say that 'knowing' and being able to convict are rather different things, Sir Azshan. There is sadly nothing I can currently do to bring him to justice. His past crimes simply lack evidence. But rest assured that a man like him will break the law again. And one of these days, he will slip up," Casavir nodded determinedly before he turned away from Azshan and headed towards his chambers at last.

Spending time with Aeyrin might put his mind at ease.