Chapter 194
After having that discussion with Darth Xela, Laetitia walked tiredly out of the cave. She numbly fell on the ground, unable to even cry.
She always wanted to know the truth, but she never imagined that it would be this horrible. She knew it would be ... bad, to say the least, but she definitely did not see her prophecy coming.
"You are extremely powerful. Almost too powerful. The power you possess is simply too much for a Force-user to possess. If you fight your destiny and the prophecy regarding you, as you have so far, you will stay in the light. But the good in you will cause an awful amount of pain for you that will kill you."
"You will learn a horrible truth, one that your friends are trying to keep hidden. Do not blame them for doing this. Though they have no right, they are trying to protect you. Had they not done that, this would all be over and this conversation would not be happening. You will feel unquenchable pain as this vision becomes reality but you must not weaken."
"You must find the good in the evil. That is the only way to bring balance to the Force."
"Tu aras tave qorit iv visa iv mus ... Laetitia Skywalker."
Leah sighed deeply in pain. Now, she could finally make sense of what Bendu told her. He was right. She was feeling ... unquenchable pain. It was too much that she couldn't even breathe.
Suddenly, Qui-gon appeared out of nowhere. Leah noticed his presence immediately. She looked up to her Master, tears in her eyes.
"Laetitia ..." He quietly said. He, too, was in pain to see her like this.
"I don't know what to do. I think my brain's stopped functioning. For once in my life, I'm stuck." Leah stated.
There had been a lot of times when she felt like she couldn't move. When Padme died, when she left Anakin on burning on Mustafar, when her memories were erased and back, when she found her father as Darth Vader, when she died, when Thexan died, when she found out she was pregnant with Iliana, when she found out the real reason why her father denied being her father. But ...
All those times, she found her way back. This time, she didn't know how to move forward. The truth she learned was the one thing that finally paralyzed the legendary Laetitia Skywalker.
"I don't know what to say. I am not in your position, and have never had to carry the heavy burdens you do." Qui-gon admitted.
"Why didn't you tell me I was the Qorit?" Leah tiredly asked. She wasn't mad. For once, she wished that she didn't know the actual truth.
"Because I didn't believe in it. For the Jedi, you may be the Qorit, but the Gray Jedi consider you 'the Sword of the Jedi'." He simply said.
"'The Sword of the Jedi'? ... I've heard that before. Bendu told me in a vision that I was both the Qorit and the Sword of the Jedi. The funny thing is, I have no clue what 'the Sword of the Jedi' even means. But I'm guessing it's not good."
"Believe it or not, we don't exactly know what it means, either."
"You named me that." Leah pointed out.
"It was said in the Force. The Force referred to you as the Sword of the Jedi."
"You must have some idea what it means."
"We have told you before. 'You are like tempered steel, purposeful and razor-keen. Always you shall be in the front rank. A burning brand to your enemies ...'" Qui-gon was saying.
"'... A brilliant fire to your friends.'" Leah said with him as she remembered.
"'... Yours is a restless life and never shall you know peace. Though you shall be blessed for the peace that you bring to others. Take comfort in the fact that. Though you stand tall and alone, others take shelter in the shadow that you cast.'"
"It's what that Gray Master told me during my Mastery of Balance Ceremony. That's the definition of 'the Sword of the Jedi'?" Leah asked in horror.
"Yes ... The part that has haunted you for years finally makes sense." He stated.
Leah took a minute to get it through her head. She didn't understand what was happening, but at the same time ... she did. And that was what was scaring her.
"Thexan died for me, and I have to kill dad. I will never be the same again. My relationship with Iliana is ruined forever because I let her father die. And if I kill my father, Ahsoka will always hate me, and Luke ... He will never forgive me if he finds out. Either war, I'll lose my family ... if I haven't already." She concluded quietly in sadness.
"Yes. It is your destiny." Was all Qui-gon could say.
"That is my destiny ... I didn't choose it, and I can't even fight it. Who would ever choose that destiny?" Leah cried out quietly.
"No one would, truly." He admitted.
"I am the Sword of the Jedi and the Qorit … with everything they mean."
Meanwhile, Ahsoka was left alone with Obi-wan. Since Laetitia left like that, neither of them said a word to each other. Ahsoka felt like the Padawan she was when she last saw her Master.
Too much had happened to go back to what they were.
"It's good to see you Ahsoka." Obi-wan finally broke the silence.
"It's been a long time since we last saw each other." Ahsoka replied.
"Yes, it has been ... I am glad Laetitia has you and your daughter with her." He warmly smiled. He was truly happy for her, whether or not it was against the Code.
"No matter what happens, she will always have all of us. Me, Lux, Mina, Rex, Luke, Han, Chewie, Mon Mothma, BB-8, R2, even 3PO ... Okay, maybe 3PO." She joked seriously, which made Obi-wan chuckle.
"The point is, we will never leave or betray her." She seriously continued with a hint in her tone.
"Not like we did, you mean?" Obi-wan quickly understood what she meant.
Ahsoka just looked away, unable to nod.
"There was a time when I was actually proud of being a Jedi Padawan in the Order. Now, it brings me nothing but shame. I can't imagine I was ever a part of that Order." She sadly said.
He just shook his head in understanding. He knew how hard it was for her to even say the words.
"Do you think she will ever forgive us?" He hoped.
"Doubtful, and for good reasons. The Jedi destroyed her life. I know Sidious was the main reason, but ... you guys helped him." She bitterly stated.
"We did, didn't we?"
"You know, she came here, despite everything you've done, to give master Yoda a proper goodbye. She hates you guys, but she doesn't let that stop her from honoring and respecting you. I don't believe in that prophecy, and I can't believe you do, too. Either way, you should have told us about it, instead of keeping it to yourselves. We deserved that much." Ahsoka said with tears of betrayal in her eyes.
Obi-wan didn't say anything and just looked down in shame. Before he could come up with a reply, a very tired and torn-out Laetitia walked closer to them. Ahsoka moved to her friend to be by her side. She looked like a wreck.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you like that. I'm mad at you, but ... it wasn't fair." Leah quietly apologized.
"You do not apologize to me, of all people. You didn't start all this." Obi-wan honestly said as he smiled in sadness.
"But I'm the end of it ... right? I mean, that's why the Jedi trained me. Because they thought I'd be their downfall if I wasn't theirs ... And since dad destroyed them to save me ... they were right. I am their downfall ... one way or another." She breathed out sadly.
She was really confused as to what she was supposed to be feeling. It was like her brain wasn't working at all. So she just got angry again, but this time ... she was mad at herself.
"You should've just killed me when they had the chance. It would have the mercy I was never shown my entire life. I don't wanna be the Qorit. I don't wanna be the Sword of the Jedi. I just want my dad back. I wanna have a relationship with my daughter, who will hate me when she finds out I left her father to die. I don't want my life." She cried out.
Ahsoka tried to hide her tears as Obi-wan sighed in sadness. It was so, so hard to see her like this. She had never been this ... broken.
"Why did you tell me? Why did you ask me to come here? Since when were you ever responsive to me?! You shouldn't have told me."
"You wanted to know the truth."
"I shouldn't have asked for it ... The truth is always either boring or horrifying." Leah said, matter-of-factly.
For a moment, no one said anything. They didn't know what to say, or what to expect of her. How could they expect anything from her in the state that she was?
"Obi-wan, I can't kill him. I can't go through that ... not again." Leah finally whispered, which Obi-wan responded with a nod.
"I understand ... but if you do not face Vader, we will all die, and you will not live with the guilt." He stated as a warning.
Leah scoffed bitterly as she wiped the tears off her face.
"I can't live with myself already."
Primtara
Laetitia and Ahsoka left the Dagobah System immediately after they were done. They had no more reason to stay there. On the entire time back, Leah didn't say a word. She didn't have the energy to. She was completely depressed, for the first time.
They joined the others on Primtara. They were currently in the Outpost to find a new Base ... if they had the time. They just got the word that Emperor Palpatine was building one of the problems Leah blew up 9 years ago.
The Death Star.
Apparently, since it was destroyed by the Rebellion, Sidious started building another one. It was one of his most-prized weapons. He couldn't afford to lose it. Which made Leah have a feeling in the Force ...
She would meet him soon. She could feel it. The time was near. The next time she encountered Darth Vader ... she would also get to meet her archenemy ... the one who had ruined everything for her.
Leah was enraged at the mere thought of that. She always felt hatred and rage towards him, but to actually meet that snake after almost 20 years? How would she be able to stop herself from losing her anger?
"I can't believe it." Rex quietly breathed out as he turned to Leah, who was sitting on her bed.
When they came back, Ahsoka told Rex everything. She didn't even know how to lie to him. And ... he needed to know. He had been there with both of them since the beginning. He needed to know the end. He ... needed to know why his General and friend betrayed him.
He thought of anything beside what he just heard. That was the impossible thought.
"Join the club." Leah muttered bitterly.
"Kid, I don't need to say it, right?" He asked.
Leah scoffed tiredly. She didn't even have any tears left. No tears or energy. But she knew what he was talking about. She knew it didn't make her change her mind, but ... she still wanted to hear that it wasn't her fault ... even though it was.
"No ... I think I've heard that lie more than enough in my life." She stated sadly.
Before Rex or Ahsoka could say anything to make her feel better, Han jumped into the room. The look on his face indicated that he heard everything or half of what they were saying.
"What are we talking about?" He asked simply.
"You sure you don't already know?" Ahsoka shot back.
"I am pretty sure that I don't know what you're talking about. Now, what did you two do my sister? Why's she cryin'?" He demanded.
"My dad." Leah simply said to stop the talking.
Han blinked in surprise as he turned to Leah. He stared at her, blinking repeatedly. He wanted to make sure he heard it correctly. He was sure he didn't.
"Your ... your what, now? Did you just call that black dude with anger issues 'dad'?"
"Yep." She muttered tiredly, which made Han speechless.
"But ... Wait, I'm confused. Since when are we forgiving Vader?" He asked weirdly in shock.
"That happened a while ago." Rex stated.
"Well, I was in the Carbonite. Sue me!" Han sarcastically snapped at him.
Rex regretted saying that as soon as he realized. That was true ... He was still traumatized about that.
"I wanna give it a chance. I owe it to him." Leah finally said.
"What else did I miss?" Han asked when he felt like there was more to it than a simple change of heart.
"He turned to the dark side to stop me from doing the same."
Han felt a wave of shock and pain thrown at him. But how was that possible? Sure, Leah had some anger issues, like her father, but ... it wasn't enough to make her turn to the dark side. She was incapable of being such a monster.
"But you could never ..."
"Yeah, I could." She chuckled bitterly to stop him.
Han just looked at her in sympathy. So that was why she was a wreck ever since he was rescued from Jabba. She found out the truth ... alone. He wasn't there for her.
"Look, Han, there is good inside him." She defended Anakin.
"I don't care about that. Why don't we talk when that good is outside of him, too?" He seriously joked.
"He's my dad." Leah quietly said.
Han was about to protest and joke more about it, but those simple words stopped him from doing so. They were more than convincing.
He looked up and saw the others. Ahsoka and Rex both had a look on their face. One that said 'be alone with her, and cheer her up'. That was, after all, only Han's specialty. He was always the only one who made Leah smile and feel safe ... at any situation.
So they shook their head in gratitude and left. Leah knew why they left, but she didn't fight them on it. She was in desperate need for her brother's jokes. She didn't want to feel like this.
"I heard you went to see Qi'ra. How'd that go?" Leah asked.
Han sighed as he sat next to her on the bed. He looked down seriously. She had never seen that serious look on him before ... Not a lot, anyway.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He suddenly asked.
"Hmm? Why didn't I tell you what?"
"The real reason why you hate Qi'ra ... That she tried to kidnap you right after we left you on Tatooine, held you hostage when that red scary guy wanted to kill you, and helped him."
Leah opened her mouth to say something, but she was caught off guard.
"How'd you find out?"
"She told me. She thought you already did to make me hate her ... But why didn't you tell me?" He asked, not feeling betrayed, but ... curious.
"You love her. I didn't want to break your heart like that. And ... I didn't want to be the one who broke you guys apart ..." She quietly trailed off.
Han nodded in understanding and gratitude. He knew where she was coming from, so he wasn't mad at her ... not that he had any right to be mad at her. She just risked her life to save him, after he didn't listen to her and let his girlfriend sell them out.
"Hey, Han ... If you're being like this to Qi'ra because you feel bad about what almost happened to me, you don't have to do that. She may be an ungrateful bitch to me, but not to you. You still have feelings for her, and ... so does she." Leah softly said.
When he heard that, Han suddenly started laughing. Leah blinked in surprise as she turned to face him completely. That was not the reaction she expected from him. Did he lose his mind from shock or something?!
"What?"
He just kept on laughing. After a while, his laughing turned into crying. Now, he was both laughing and crying at the same time. He was definitely losing it.
And I'm supposed to be the depressed one!
"I just ... I realized I have terrible luck in dating and relationships!" Han laughed.
Leah thought about that for a moment. That was ... true. Any girl who ever had a relationship with Han Solo never worked things out with him. So, she just joined laughing with him.
"Don't laugh. It's not like you're any better!" He stated, laughing with her.
Leah took a deep breath as she finally stopped laughing. She really needed that. She felt lighter with him. She wasn't the Qorit. She was ... Han's sister, the Princess.
"Hey, I'm sorry about Qi'ra. You may not have her, but ... at least we have each other." Leah softly stated.
Han stopped laughing and turned to Leah with a weird face on his face. He had seen that side of her only ... to Thexan and Luke. He was never the one she said those words to. What was happening?
"Don't look at me like that. I know how weird it sounded." She admitted quickly as she rested her head on his shoulder.
Done :)