Newbie

Pistrina looked about furtively. As one of the youngest and least powerful gods, she felt woefully out of her depth at the Divine Conclave. She hadn't even been alive during the Great War when the gods had agreed to have these meetings, so they could use diplomacy instead of warfare to settle their differences.

Honestly, she had no idea why she was even there. She was the god of bakers. That was it. In fact, most of the other gods didn't even know there was a god of bakers, and until a few years ago, there hadn't been. Instead, bakers had prayed to the gods of cooking.

However, for some reason or another, bakers had gotten it into their heads that they deserved a god of their own. Their prayers and wishes had eventually given rise to her. She might not be very powerful, but she was the greatest baker in Creation, which really wasn't all that spectacular as divine powers went. She wouldn't normally have attended the Divine Conclave – she did her best to steer clear of any conflicts with her fellow gods because there was basically zero chance of her winning – but she had received a summons. That summons had been delivered by a lesser god of messengers, and the poor fellow had looked absolutely terrified as he'd handed over the short message.

The message hadn't been signed, but Pistrina simply couldn't risk offending someone so powerful that they could reduce a messenger god, albeit a lesser one, to a gibbering wreck. Unfortunately, not everyone appreciated her presence. Quite a few of the other gods scoffed. What was a mere god of bakers doing at such an important meeting? The Divine Conclave was for real gods – like the gods of war and battle, the gods of the ocean, and all the other gods who presided over great and powerful domains.

One such god with a very pointy spear was about to accost her when he suddenly froze. His mouth had opened to deliver what she was sure would be an insult, but no words had come. Instead, he'd looked at something behind her, stammered a hasty apology, and then fled as though Death herself was after him.

It was only when she turned around that she realised he had good reason to run.

Death was standing right there behind her.

"Ah!" Pistrina screamed. "Please, don't kill me!"

Death tilted her head to one side, and Pistrina cringed. She'd never met Death before, but she'd heard about her. Everyone had. Death was one of the mightiest gods. Some would say she was the mightiest. Her mere presence was a physical force, and Pistrina had to fight the urge to either run or kneel. The scythe she carried was a weapon of pure darkness wrought of the endless emptiness that had existed before Creation. Her cloak was a rich crimson, the crimson of all the blood that had ever been spilt. And her eyes were silver gateways to the end of all things.

"You're Pistrina, aren't you?" Death asked. Her voice and expression were both inscrutable.

Pistrina trembled. A single misstep here could lead to her complete annihilation. "Yes... yes, I am."

"And you are the new god of bakers, are you not?"

"Yes."

"I see." Death's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Then as the god of bakers... would your expertise extend to cookies?"

Pistrina was tempted to check if she was hallucinating, but she didn't dare risk offending Death. "Yes. I mean... anything that a baker might normally make falls under my domain, so cookies do too."

"In that case, I have a task for you."

"For me?" Pistrina squeaked. Death was going to ask her to do something? What kind of impossibly difficult task would it be? Given Death's nigh-limitless might anything she couldn't do herself could only be unbelievably arduous and soul-destroying.

"I want you to bake me the ultimate cookie."

"..." Pistrina blinked. "Um... what?"

"I want you to bake me the ultimate cookie." Death paused. "And not just an ultimate cookie... the Ultimate Cookie."

"Oh." Pistrina nodded slowly. She had to be imagining this. "I... I guess I could do that."

Death's lips curved up into a faint smile. "Should you succeed, you will be well rewarded for your efforts. You and yours will enjoy my protection. Anyone who would harm you or your bakers will have to answer to me."

X X X

The dragon roared his dominance to the skies. Hah! The puny mortals were no match for his overwhelming might! With the city's defences either in pieces or on fire, he was free to unleash utter devastation and ruin! Just for fun, he'd start with the bakers and work his way up from there. He was feeling a bit peckish...

Oh.

The dragon paused mid-stride. Sitting on top of the small, humble temple of the god of bakers was Death herself. Slowly, very slowly, the great goddess met the dragon's gaze and shook her head before running one finger across her throat.

The dragon cringed. Perhaps he'd made a mistake. Lowering his head submissively, he retreated, carefully backing out of the city to avoid accidentally stepping on anyone who looked as though they might be a baker. Once he was safely out of the walls, he took to the skies.

He had no idea why Death was standing up for bakers, but he'd have to find some other people to destroy.

X X X

Author's Notes

As always, I do not own RWBY. I'm not making any money off of this either.

Pistrina might be a humble god of bakers, but Death loves her cookies. Anyone who messes with her or her bakers is going to regret it. Seriously, don't harm bakers where Death can see you. She won't like it. Oh wait. She can see everywhere. You can now look forward to bakers being used as portable human shields since no one wants to risk harming them.

Also, if you've enjoyed my fan fiction, you should check out my original fiction. You can find me on Amazon and Audible as L. G. Estrella. I've just recently released The Sheep Dragon, which is a collection of short stories set in The Unconventional Heroes Series. If you enjoy humour, fun, and adventure, check it out.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.