Opening File: Midas Goult
Midas Goult is a minor but rich crime lord operating in the city near Peach Creek suburbs. He has an obsession towards gold and riches, rivaling that of Billiam Milliam but seemingly has his limits. In fact he outright despises Billiam for temporarily stealing his riches during the Golden Castle Crises. Despite being head of a gang with vast resources Midas is not content and yearns to be able to rule Peach Creek from the criminal underworld.
Close File
Xxx
"You know the old saying: Dream big, live big, love big, fall to your death down a giant hole." TOM chuckled as a file closed. "Pretty much the default ending for all the big time villains. But hey, no one lives forever so might as well go out with a big party."
Xxx
Peach Creek, Highway 35
The Peach Creek highway was covered by multiple streams of cars and trucks, all going around 50 MPH. But one vehicle that stood out among all of them was a burning motorcycle, spewing green flames everywhere as the intimidating rider was dodging cars and ducking under the undercarriages of large trucks. All the while, Captain Melonhead was holding on, sitting on the second seat as he covered his mouth, looking like he was about to puke.
"Ugh... HOT ROD! THERE IS A REASON MOTORCYCLES AREN'T SUPPOSED TO MOVE THIS FAST! SLOW DOWN! By the way... when you built your bike... Did you include barf bags?" Asked Captain Melonhead as Hot Rod was still skillfully dodged traffic.
"You even THINK about puking on my bike and your ROAD KILL, SQUIRRL BOY!" Growled Hot Rod as the two continued to ride. Having their eyes peeled for a white limo like the thug said.
As the two continued to look, Captain Melonhead looked over Hot Rod's shoulder as he saw a white limo, about several dozen lanes ahead of them.
"THERE HE IS! He's a few lanes ahead of us!" Said Captain Melonhead pointing forward as Hot Rod revved his bike.
"Hold on tight!" Yelled Hot Rod as he floored it and sped forward and began to drive even faster. Dodging more cars and trucks as he started to catch up to the white limo.
In the limo, Midas sat comfortably in the back, drinking expensive tequila with two muscle bound body guards sitting next to him. Midas enjoyed a glass of tequila, until the driver rolled down the window.
"Excuse me, Mister Goult, but your 'guest' has arrived and is catching up with us." Said the driver as Midas smiled.
Midas then reached down into his coat as he pulled out his Scroll, dialed a number, and spoke into it. "Send in the van's. He's here."
As Hot Rod and Captain Melonhead started to catch up. Melonhead and Hot Rod both noticed that there were two massive black trucks that were behind them as the massive trucks began to knock cars and smaller trucks aside as they sped up. Captain Melonhead and Hot Rod saw that after the two trucks drove ahead of Hot Rod's bike, they sandwiched the white limo. As all three vehicles drove in front of Hot Rod, two new military black Humvee's drove up behind Hot Rod's bike.
As Captain Melonhead and Jonny looked around; they saw that they were surrounded with no way out.
"We got them surrounded, sir." Said one of the men in the Humvee into his radio.
"You know what to do..." Said Midas and the mercenary driving the Humvee smiled.
"Yes, sir." He spoke into the radio as the mercenaries in both armored vehicles manned the machine turrets on top as they aimed their weapons at Hot Rod and began to fire away.
BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA!
As all the bullets bounced off of Hot Rod and his bike, while Captain Melonhead did his best to dodged the incoming bullets as he looked back at the Humvee's.
"HOT! THEY'RE SHOOTING AT US!" Yelled Captain Melonhead.
"Then do something about it, Melondude! I'll do the best to avoid the bullets! But you gotta take care of those Humvees!" Hot Rod yelled as he did his best to maneuver around the incoming bullets.
Captain Melonhead carefully managed to stand up and balance himself on the passenger seat of Hot Rod's bike as he pulled out his Crescent Spade and aimed the crossbow that was attached to it as he aimed it at one of the Humvees that were firing at them. Jonny then pulled out a light blue arrow as he loaded up his crossbow and aimed it at the Humvee.
"Make sure I don't mess up my aim, Buddy!" Said Captain Melonhead to Splinter as he aimed his weapon at the Humvee. Until Melonhead stopped and looked back at Splinter.
"Hey! What do you mean 'ya couldn't hit the broad side of a mountain?' What kind of encouragement is that!?" Yelled Captain Melonhead to his sidekick.
"MELONHEAD!" Yelled Hot Rod, snapping Captain Melonhead out of it as the Cpatain aimed his crossbow at the Humvee and fired. As the arrow collided with the top of the Humvee, the Dust activated as a huge block of ice formed and the Humvee started to veer out of control. Until it tumbled and crashed.
Only the last Humvee remained as one of the mercenaries saw what Captain Melonhead did to his friends.
"HOLY DUST! Did you see that!?" Yelled the mercenary as he looked back through the front windshield again and growled, looking at Captain Melonhead as a smirk creeped onto his face.
"Oh... Hohohoho... I got something for this punk." Said the mercenary as he bent down and opened up a large case that revealed a bazooka.
He smiled as he picked the bazooka up and poked his head out of the top of the Humvee. He then aimed his bazooka at the two heroes as he fired, but luckily the man was a lousy shot as the missile hit the road right next to the bike instead of the bike itself.
BOOM!
"BAZOOKA! THEY HAVE A BAZOOKA!" Captain Melonhead yelled.
"ALRIGHT! TAKE CARE OF IT!" Yelled Hot Rod as Captain Melonhead narrowed his eyes as he reached behind him and pulled out four more arrows.
One that was green and the rest of the three were red.
"Hopefully this works..." Said Captain Melonhead as the man reloaded his bazooka and aimed it at Captain Melonhead and Hot Rod again.
But as he fired, Captain Melonhead jumped off the bike as he quickly loaded up his crossbow with the green arrow as he aimed it at the incoming missile and shot it, creating a blast of wind as it knocked the missile off course and made it change directions to collide with the ground right in front of the Humvee…
BOOM!
…Making the Humvee fly several feet into the air as it flipped around.
But as Captain Melonhead was in the air, he managed to land on the undercarriage of the airborne up-side-down Humvee as he quickly loaded up his crossbow with the remaining red arrows as he fired into the undercarriage while running, creating three fiery explosions.
BOOM!
BOOM!
BOOM!
As he ran to the end of the vehicle as he did a back flip, and flew several feet back as he managed to skillfully land on the passenger end of Hot Rod's bike as the Humvee continued to fly and burn. Until it crashed back into the road, tumbling until it stopped and burned.
Hot Rod and Captain Melonhead rode as one of the drivers of the larger black trucks sandwiching the white limo spoke into his radio. "Sir! They took down the two Humvees!"
"WHAT!?" Midas yelled with shock in his voice. "How did they take down they take down the HUMVEES!? UGH! WHATEVER! RELEASE THE GRIMM!"
"Yes, sir!" Replied the truck driver as he and the other truck driver opened up the back end of the large trailers their trucks were carrying.
As the two trailers opened up, all that Hot Rod and Captain Melonhead could see was darkness. But that's when two burning red eyes tore through the darkness as a Beowolf revealed itself and let out a blood curdling roar.
"WHY DO THE BAD GUYS ALWAYS GET THE GOOD STUFF!?" Captain Melonhead yelled.
Even through the road below the Beowolf was moving very fast, the beast didn't care as it jumped out of the truck and started to run behind Hot Rod and Captain Melonhead, keeping up with the high-speed chase. Out of the other truck, two Beowolves and an Ursai jumped out and landed on the speeding road, quickly gathering their baring's as they followed along. Another Beowolf and Ursa jumped out of the first trailer as they followed both the heroes and the villains being the closest humans around. But, there was one more Grimm in the first open trailer at four red eyes peered out of the darkness.
A humanoid Grimm showed its face, it was a bulky ten foot tall Grimm with hind legs, sharp teeth, horns, and had boney white armor all over it. It let out a horrible roar of its own as it leaped out of the trailer and leaped directly at Hot Rod and Captain Melonhead. But luckily, Hot Rod managed to lean his bike deeply to the right as the two heroes just barely managed to dodge the attack of the troll-like Grimm as the Grimm collided on the ground and tumbled for a bit, before standing back up and ran towards Captain Melonhead, Hot Rod, and the villains.
"Hot Rod, does this bike of yours have any more tricks it can do?" Asked Captain Melonhead.
"Yeah, here's one!" Yelled Hot Rod as he pressed a few button on his front console as a total of thirty mini-missiles launched from Hot Rod's bike as half of them changed directions and hit the Grimm.
BOOM!
KABOOM!
Killing two Beowolves and an Ursai as the two remaining Beowolves, the last Ursai, and the Troll still chugged along. While the other half of the missiles changed directions and collided with the two black trucks. Destroying their trailers as one of the trucks were blown up as it flew into the air.
KABEW!
KABOOM!
KAPOW!
All that was left were four Grimm, one truck, one limo, and one motorcycle as the chase continued.
"Hey, Melonhead! Take care of the freaks of nature! I'll deal with Midas' goons!" Said Hot Rod.
"On it!" Captain Melonhead said as he jumped off the bike and several feet into the air.
Performing several flips as the Grimm kept running along with the high-speed chase, allowing Melonhead to end up behind the Grimm as he fell. Melonhead quickly pulled out his Melon grappling hook as he shot it at one of the two Beowolves and wrapped the line around their necks, but the beast still ran as Captain Melonhead landed back on the ground and was pulled along by the running monster, much like water skiing as Captain Melonhead used his feet as the ski's.
"WOOOOOOOOOH-HOOOOOO!" Cheered Captain Melonhead as he was pulled along by one of the Grimm, he then readied his weapon and jumped forward, jumping on top of the other Beowolf.
The Beowolf tried to knock Melonhead off, but Melonhead dodged the attack as he swung his Crescent Spade down and cut the Beowolf in half. Jumping back on the road as he was still pulled along by the first Beowolf he hooked in, as the Ursai looked over and saw him as the beast stopped running and lunged at Captain Melonhead as he tricked the Ursai to lunge at the Beowolf. Captain Melonhead didn't waste any time as he was airborne; he loaded up his crossbow with two light blue arrows as he shot the Ursa and the Beowolf. With frost and ice freezing the monsters solid as the momentum from earlier threw them over the edge of the over pass and caused them to collide with the ground, shattering them.
But as Captain Melonhead landed back on the ground, he looked over the edge of the overpass to see the distant shattered remains of the Grimm at the bottom. Captain Melonhead breathed a sigh of relief as he turned around, only for the Troll to grab the Captain by the throat and lift him off the ground. Growling at him as the Troll tossed Melonhead to the other side of the road. As Captain Melonhead looked up, more cars started to drive down the highway as the Troll let out a monstrous giggle as it marched closer to Captain Melonhead.
Back with Hot Rod, he was gaining on the last black truck as he pulled out his two Ratchets in their pistol forms. The goon passenger of the truck took out his semi-automatic as he aimed at Hot Rod and started to fire at him. But like before, the bullets just bounced off of him as he looked back up at the shooter and aimed his Ratchet pistols at them, firing back.
BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA! BRATTA! TATTA!
But the truck wasn't bullet proof as Hot Rod popped one of the tires as the truck was out of control as it began to flip and tumble. Hot Rod dodged the truck as he gained on the white limo. Out the doors of the white limo, more goons leaned out as they aimed their guns at Hot Rod and began firing away themselves with little to no effect. That's when Hot Rod pulled out another over-sized bullet and loaded up the cannon that popped out the front of his bike.
He loaded it up, and fired.
BOOM!
Causing the limo to fly into the air and tumble a few dozen feet, before stopping and sitting there.
Hot Rod rode up to it in his bike, and slowed down as he stepped out and walked to the wreaked car. But that's when one of the doors were kicked open as Midas himself stepped out and growled as he looked at Hot Rod.
"You worthless burning piece of &%#$... You think you can do this to me? Attack my forces and make me look like a fool? I swear, after I kill you... I'm going to take that helmet off your head, and have my men hunt your loved ones down till the end of time! Tu hijo de puta..." Midas growled as he pulled out his double sided golden mace that was five feet long with a spiked ball at each end of the metal staff.
"Wait... Let's think about this for a sec, you tried to kill me, steal my bike, and are gonna use it to hurt people and take over this city! I've done research on you, I know you kill, hurt, and intimidate people just to get what you want!" Yelled Hot Rod as he walked closer, with his Ratchets transforming back into they're night stick forms.
"You wanna play it like that? Alright... Just to let you know, your body is gonna be found floating in the river when you'll be found and reported..." Said Midas as Hot Rod lets his Ratchets drop to the ground, only to reveal that the ends of them are attached to chains as he starts swinging them around, he activated his Aura, thug activating the Dust infused with Hot Rod's clothing, helmet, and chains as he thrashed them at Midas.
But Midas instantly swung his double sided mace and knocked the incoming Ratchet out of the way as he charged at Hot Rod. As the two blocked and attacked with their respective weapons. Midas swung his Little Friend as it knocked Hot Rod into the concrete barrier of the highway. Instantly picking himself back up as he swung his Ratchets at Midas again as he charged at him, but Midas quickly blocked all of Hot Rod's attacks as Hot Rod quickly wrapped his hands in his burning chains as he started savagely punching the crime lord several times.
Until the crime lord caught Hot Rod's last punch, but this time, Hot Rod was shocked as he looked and saw that Midas was now made out of pure gold as Hot Rod looked down and saw that his chain and glove also started to transform into gold. Hot Rod jumped back as he quickly took off his glove with the chains still wrapped around it as he tossed it on the side of the road as the entire thing turned into pure gold.
"What the-!?" Yelled Hot Rod as he saw that his glove and chain was now entirly gold.
Midas laughed as he walked forward. "Hahahaha... I see you've discovered my Semblence, amigo... And that's the power to turn everything I touch at will into gold. Including turning my very being into pure gold."
"Wait... If you can turn anything you touch into gold, why do you wanna be a crime lord?!" Asked Hot Rod as Midas walked forward.
"Simple... I don't want EVERYTHING! And what I want now, is YOUR head!" Yelled Midas as he swung his Little Friend at Hot Rod again as Hot Rod did a summersault and stood back up as he transformed his Ratchets into their pistol forms as he started firing at Midas.
But Midas was laughing as the bullets were only making tiny dents in Midas' form that repaired themselves.
As Hot Rod still shot at Midas, only for Midas to bring his mace down on Hot Rod's head, knocking him straight to the ground but as Midas hung over Hot Rod, he pulled his foot up as he was about to smash Hot Rod's head in. Hot Rod spun out of the way was he used his remaining chain to thrash them and wrap them around Midas' legs as Hot Rod stood up again and swung Midas around as he viciously smashed Midas into the ground several times. Until Hot Rod thrashed his chain once more and smashed Midas into the ruined limo just as it exploded.
KABOOM!
Kevin stood there as the limo exploded, only to his utter annoyance, to see the golden form of Midas to walk out of the flames, carrying his double sided mace.
"That was vexing..." Midas growled as he glared at Hot Rod, as he gritted his teeth under the helmet.
Meanwhile, Captain Melonhead was tossed to one side of the road as he was dodging cars. As he looked up, he saw the incoming double fist smashing motion of the Troll as the Grimm smashed down on Captain Melonhead's previous position. The attack was so mighty that the shockwave threw other passer by cars on their sides as Captain Melonhead was still fighting the vicious Troll.
SMASH!
As Captain Melonhead stood on one side of the road and the Troll on the other side, both were separated by the incoming river of cars. Captain Melonhead smirked at the Troll as he pulled out his Crescent Spade crossbow once more and fired several shots at the Grimm, angering it further as Captain Melonhead ran in the middle of the traffic and began dodging cars as he started running down it, the Troll ran alongside the stream of cars as he tried to chase down and kill the melon headed hero for good.
Back with Hot Rod and Midas, Midas held Hot Rod on the ground with his foot as he transformed his double-sided golden mace into a golden AK-47 and aimed it at Hot Rod's face.
"You MORONIC PUTA! DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU STOOD A CHANCE AGAINST ME!? DID YOU!? IT DOSEN'T MATTER HOW MANY TOYS YOU HAVE OR HOW SKILLED YOU ARE! I WON AND I'M ON TOP BECAUSE MIDAS GOULT ALWAYS GETS WHAT HE WANTS! AND WHAT I WANT NOW... IS YOU DEAD PUTA!" Yelled Midas as he reached down and tore the visor off of Hot Rod's helmet, revealing his eyes, but not his entire face.
Just enough to guess his age.
"Huh... A kid? A child? HAHAHAHA! YOU out of all people thought you could defy ME!? Now... you gonna pay for it. And after I KILL you... I'll take your bike!" Yelled Midas as he pressed the barrel of his gun to Hot Rod's head.
"You know what...?" Asked Hot Rod as he reached for his wrist and pressed a few buttons on his electronic watch. "You can have it!"
Midas looked down at Hot Rod confused, until he heard the growl of a motorcycle engine. As Midas looked up, Hot Rod's motorcycle was charging right at him as it hit Midas and knocked him off of Hot Rod as he stood back up. As Midas was on the ground, the bike stood on his head with the front green burning wheel right on Midas' head as the wheel started to pump into high gear and leave a nasty burn mark on Midas' gold face, while driving his head into the ground.
KRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!
But as Hot Rod remotely commanded the bike to back off and walked over to the hurt Midas. As the crime lord started to push himself back up and spat out a tooth. Before Hot Rod could've properly knocked him out for good, Hot Rod heard the booming sounds of feet smashing against the ground. Hot Rod looked back up to see the incoming form of the Troll towards him.
Right as the Troll was close enough to take a bite out of him, he didn't see that Captain Melonhead was on the monsters back as he grabbed the Troll by the horns and steered him out of the way of Hot Rod. Hot Rod looked on in surprise as Melonhead tried his best to hang onto the monster, much like how a cowboy would try to hang onto a bucking bull. But instead of moving around and trying to get Captain Melonhead off his back, the Troll reached behind him as he grabbed Captain Melonhead with two hands and smashed him into the ground.
"Hey, freakshow!" A voice yelled that caught the Troll's attention as he looked to his left.
"Lay off him, man!" Hot Rod yelled as he bore both Ratchet night sticks in hand and started beating the Grimm savagely with them as Captain Melonhead stood up and rubbed his head.
But as Captain Melonhead looked on at the fight between the Troll and Hot Rod, he didn't notice Midas standing back up as he walked over to Captain Melonhead from behind.
"So... You are the other annoying bug who destroyed my Humvee and killed my Grimm?" Asked Midas as Captain Melonhead was about to turn around to stop him.
But that's when Midas grabbed Captain Melonhead by his melon helmet and started to use his Semblance to turn it into gold. Meanwhile, the traffic started to pile up as the cars stopped as they looked at the fight between Captain Melonhead, Midas, Hot Rod, and the Troll Grimm.
"HAHAHAHA! How about after I turn you into gold, I display you in my mansion with the rest of my collection?" Asked Midas as he slowly started turning Captain Melonhead's helmet into pure gold as the gold started to spread.
Captain Melonhead struggled in defiance until he charged up an Aura powered punch as he upper cut Midas as the crime lord stumble back and the crowd gasp in disbelief.
Midas looked down at the Captain Melonhead's now golden helmet as he smiled. "Haha! You're through kid! If your brain wasn't turned into pure gold yet, you were still unmasked!"
As the crowd turned to Captain Melonhead who was faced away from Midas and the crowd, was crouched down and clutching his fist…
Before turning around wearing another melon helmet as he held up two fingers.
"There's TWO HALFS to every melon, Midas!" Captain Melonhead yelled, holding up two fingers.
As Hot Rod was fighting the Troll, dodging attacks from the hulking beast, he ruthlessly bashed the monster in the arms, face, neck, and chest with his Ratchets as he then threw his Ratchets into the air with new chains attached to them as the Troll saw and opening and kicked Hot Rod in the gut, making him skid back. But Hot Rod wasn't deterred as he thrashed the green burning chains forward and wrapped them around the Trolls massive arms. The Troll growled in response as the Troll trashed the chains that were around his arms in an attempt to toss Hot Rod aside. But instead of throwing Hot Rod off the bridge, Hot Rod landed on the ground as he stood his ground and used every ounce of strength he had to thrash his chains forward, causing the Troll to fly through the air and crash right into Midas.
The Troll would pick itself back up and growl in anger as it looked at Hot Rod, Captain Melonhead, and Midas as it growled more, before Captain Melonhead dashed in and used his Crescent Spade as he spun it around and slashed at the Trolls belly and in between the beast's armor. The beast tried to hit Captain Melonhead but the rime headed avenger wouldn't let up. Until Troll then finally saw an opening as the monster punched Captain Melonhead as it sent him flying several feet back. The Troll growled once more as it then looked over at Midas, who was currently having the strongest emotions of hate and anger as the monster roared at him.
Midas' face turned into one of fear, then back to anger as the monster lifted its fist and tried to knock Midas back, but Midas quickly shifted into his gold form as he got the Grimm's attack, and grabbed ahold of its throat transforming the Troll into pure gold.
"HAHAHA! SEE THIS!? IT IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ALL THOSE WHO STAND AGAINST MIDAS GOULT! ANYONE WHO GET'S IN MY WAY, WILL SUFFER THE SAME- WHAT THE-!?" But Midas wasn't paying attention as he looked back up at the now completely golden Troll Grimm towering over him as the eight hundred pound gold statue tipped forward and landed on Midas, pinning him to the ground as he was then trapped.
Hot Rod and Captain Melonhead looked over the scene as they looked up at the crowd who didn't know what to do. Only a few seconds passed before police, ambulances, and news trucks and coppers began to show up and circle the area. Captain Melonhead and Hot Rod got into defensive positions, fearing the cops were going to arrest and blame them, but instead, the cops ran up to Midas who was pinned to the ground by the massive golden Grimm statue.
"Midas Goult, you have the right to remain silent. The right to your own attorney. The right to a free attorney, and-"
"WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! Under what charges!?" Yelled Midas as the gold statue of the Troll was pulled off of him as the crime lord was pulled up and put in cuffs.
"We were given information from a source that shall remain anonymous. To keep our eye out on highway 35 for a white limo. Your under arrest for disturbing the peace, keeping dangerous Grimm as weapons, property damage, suspected murder and injury on the highway, and-" But the cop was interrupted as Midas glared at Captain Melonhead and Hot Rod.
"YOU TWO! YOU TWO TOLD THESE PIGS!" Yelled Midas as the cops began to drag him away.
"How stupid did you think we were? Just in case it was a trap, now... You're going away for a long time." Said Hot Rod as he fived Captain Melonhead as Midas was dragged away, while yelling incoherent threats at the two heroes.
As Midas was dragged away, Melonhead and Hot Rod were waving goodbye.
"See ya! Have fun in prison, lunkhead!" Said Hot Rod.
"Yeah! And don't drop the soap!" Waved Captain Melonhead as news casters started surrounding the two new perceived heroes of the day.
Multiple sources started asking multiple questions to the two heroes, Kevin grew a smile under his helmet along with Jonny who looked over and saw Kevin.
"So... Still think being a superhero is 'lame', Hot Rod?" Asked 'Captain Melonhead' as he looked at the reporters and the people in the crowd cheering.
"No... Actually, it's pretty rad." Hot Rod admitted.
"Well enjoy the cheering while you can, because the cops are gonna question us and take us in." Whispered Melonhead. "So... When do you wanna do our superhero exit?"
"In a second... I still wanna bask in this a little longer." Said Kevin as the crowd continued to cheer for the two.
Xxx
Mabel was trying to sleep after having a slumber part with Frida and Zoe while Dipper was writing on graph paper on the floor. "Hohoho man. And then, if I had a dragon here, and then a plus three fire mode-"
"Dipper, are you going to go to sleep? You've been saying dork words for hours." Mabel groaned, unable to take it anymore.
"Seriously." Frida muttered, sleeping on the other end of Mabel's bed.
"Sorry, Mabel, I got to finish this dungeon. It's going to totally stump Great Uncle Ford tomorrow; I can't wait to see the look on his face." Dipper replied happily.
"You're uh, spending a lot of time with old Fordsy lately, huh?" Mabel commented.
"You have no idea. I knew the author must be cool, but he's better than I imagined. And, he doesn't make fun of me all the time, like you and Grunkle Stan do." Dipper said happily.
"Give 'im time, haha! Heyooo!" Mabel teased but then paused. "Nah, you got me." She laid down, muttering to herself. "You got me."
Nearby Zoe, who had her own sleeping bag, sat up and looked at Dipper. "I thought Grandpa told you to stay away from Ford."
"Yeah but he's the author. I've been waiting all summer to ask him so many questions and he likes the same game as I do." Dipper stated. "Why not give him a chance?"
"Because he's throwing our grandpa out of this place at the end of the summer after he spent thirty years trying to save him from a machine he created." Zoe answered stoically. "A man who does not value his family is not a man at all."
"She's got a point, Dipper." Frida couldn't help but say. "You don't know him; only what he's written down and built."
"I know he's a good man." Dipper argued.
"How? Because you guys have the same likes?" Zoe probed. "Come on, Dipper. Look us in the eyes and tell us you have for one second considered that this is a good idea."
"You girls just don't get it." Dipper hopped down from his bed. "I finally have someone to connect with and you're making a big deal out of it when you connect with Grunkle Stan so easily."
"Grandpa has proven himself to a good man, flaws and all. Ford hasn't." Zoe countered. "He's got that creepy, mad scientist loner vibe about him that I don't like."
"I think I'll take the bedroom downstairs and you can have my bed, Zoe." Dipper said, taking his covers and headed downstairs, leaving the girls to just watch him go.
Xxx
Mabel was up with Zoe and Frida and greeting Grenda in the morning of the following day, putting on a Duck-tective sweater, to Grenda. "Thanks for coming over to watch tonight's Duck-tective finale, Grenda!"
"Of course! I'm so invested in the lives of these characters!" Grenda exclaimed, holding up Duck-tective flags.
Mabel turned Stan, who came down the stairs wearing a suit. "Hey-hey, look at you! Someone's all dressed up."
"It's a big night. I think we all remember where we were, when we learned Duck-tective was shot." Stan replied, adjusting his tie.
An alarm went off, meaning only one thing.
Mabel gasped. "Viewing positions, everyone!"
Grenda, Mabel and Stan ran to the living room, but stop and gasp when they see that Dipper and Ford have laid their game all over it.
"Ah! Graph paper!" Grenda shouted, stomping on it. "Kill it! Kill it!"
"Dipper, could you maybe move this to another room?" Mabel asked with barely concealed annoyance.
"No dice! We ran out of room in the basement and we're going for a world record! Now, dice!" Ford rolled a 32. "32, yes! 7,000 points damage!"
Dipper laughed. "You got me!"
"Oh, why, why with this?" Stan groaned. "You wanna break a record, Ford? You already got it with world's nerdiest old man."
"Hey, at least I'm not all keyed up to watch a kid's show." Ford countered.
"I'll have you know that Duck-tective has a big mystery element! And a lot of humor that goes over kids' heads!" Stan argued.
"I don't get a lot of it, but I like animals in human situations." Grenda remarked.
"Those are Mobians." Zoe corrected but agreed. "And the music is catchy."
"Those plot twists are something I am ashamed to have not dreamed up yet." Frida nodded.
"Grunkle Stan, it starts in a few minutes!" Mabel exclaimed.
Stan moved to take the paper off the TV but Ford grabbed his hand. "Move that and pay the price!"
"Oh, what, fifty magical dwarf dollars?" Stan rolled his eyes.
"Don't mock our fantastical monetary system!" Ford snapped.
"I'll mock all I want, it's my TV room!"
"It's my house, you..." Ford sighed. "Listen, Stanley, did it ever occur to you to if you joined us you might actually have fun?"
"What? Now you listen to me!" Stan took Ford's bag. "As long as I live I will never..."
"Grunkle Stan, wait!" Dipper exclaimed, weary of the stuff in Ford's bag.
"Ever..."
"Stanley!" Ford called out.
"Play your smartypants nerd game!" Stan threw the bag to the floor, and the infinity sided dice rolled out. "No!"
In a flash of blinding light four Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons characters appeared, consisting of an ogre, an elf with a bow, a golden griffon and a cackling beared man in a wizard's robe. "Mortals of dimension 46'\,kneel before me and," He stopped to roll the dice. "Snivel! I am Probabilitor! The greatest wizard in all of mathology! Give or take an error of 0.4."
"Eh, is this normal?" Stan asked nonchalantly and slightly confused.
"Have you come to send us on the quest of a lifetime because we're the smartest players you've ever met?" Dipper asked hopefully.
"You are the smartest players I've ever met! That's why I'm going to eat your brains to gain your intelligence. It's what I do." The wizard answered with a grin.
"It's his thing." The ogre said simply.
"What?!" Dipper shouted.
"Seize them!" Probabilitor ordered his minions.
Ford took out a gun and aimed at the wizard. "Your math is no match for my gun, you idiot!"
"Math ray!" Probabilitor's staff blasted Ford's gun and a hole through the wall. "I'm not here to play games!"
The griffon grabbed Ford and Dipper and flew out, followed by the other characters.
"Now to the forest, for the ultimate game!" Probabilitor flew through the hole, following his minions into the woods.
Stan and Mabel rushed to hole, watching as the game creatures vanished with Ford and Dipper.
"So…The room's free now. Who wants to watch Duck-tective?" Grenda squeaked her Duck-tective toy. "Nobody? More couch for Grenda!"
"Oh no! That crazy wizard is going to eat our brothers' brains! We have to stop 'em!" Mabel exclaimed.
"Eh, maybe let 'em get a couple bites in Ford's brain first. Even things out smartness-wise." Stan suggested.
Mabel glared. "Grunkle Stan!"
"Alright, alright. I guess if we have no other choice, we'll go on a..." Stan sighed.
"You can say it, Grandpa. Just take a deep breath." Frida coached him.
"Epic wizard quest." Stan managed to say it.
Mabel and Grenda cheered. "YAAAAYY!"
"Everyone grab a weapon." Stan said, wanting to be on the safe side.
Stan found a bat in the couch cushion, Mabel took a rake, Frida and Zoe had their battle suits and Grenda lifted up a chair. "Heh. Nice!"
"We're coming for you, Dipper! And Great uncle Ford! And possibly that hot elf, if he's got anything to do with this." Mabel vowed as they ran off into the forest.
Xxx
"Heheheh." Probabilitor measured the heads of the two Pines he had tied to a tree. "With each brain I eat, I shall increase my enchantelligence."
"If my hands were free, I'd break every part of your face." Ford threatened.
"The time has come! Hot elf! Ready the brain-cooking pot!" The wizard ordered.
The Hot elf sighed. "Yes, Probabilitor."
Shaking his hair he shot a flaming arrow at the pot.
Xxx
Grenda, Zoe, Frida Mabel, and Stan were walking through the forest, looking for Dipper and Ford. The snow wasn't bad here but it was a little annoying to the kids who had been enjoying summer.
Stan slapped his back, squishing a bug. "We must be getting close. These fairy bites are getting more frequent."
"Hey, look, listen." The fairy crushed in Stan's hand cried before dissolving into glitter.
The Ogre then stomped in front of them "Halt! Yon interlopers are trespassing on the ancient forest of Probabilitor the wizard! If ye wish to pass, first, ye must complete seven unworldly quest, each, more difficult than the-"
"NOW!" Grenda hit him on the head with the chair and he collapsed.
"Nice!" Zoe complimented, exchanging fist bumps with Grenda.
Mabel poked his foot with the rake. "Is he... dead?"
"He's magic, sweetie. I'm sure he's fine." Stan reassured but then whispered to Grenda, Frida and Zoe. "There's no cops in the forest. We take this to our graves."
The four exchanged winks with Zoe making a note to come back and burry the body later.
Xxx
"Heheheheh." Probabilitor snickered, seeing the pot was almost ready while Dipper was starting to get frantic.
"What do we do? What do we do?" Dipper repeated as he tried to think of a way to escape.
"Stop thinking, Dipper! The more wrinkly your brain gets, the more he'll want to eat it!" Ford warned him.
"And now, a little math problem: when I subtract your brain from your skulls." The wizard hit Ford and Dipper with his staff. "Add salt, and divide your family, what's the remainder?"
Mabel's voice shouted from behind the bushes. "YOUR BUTT!"
"What? My butt isn't part of this particular equation." Probabilitor turned around the sound of the surprising answer.
Grenda, Frida, Zoe, Mabel and Stan jumped out of the bushes.
"Drat! How did you make it past my one guard? Very well. There's only one way your family can save you. YOU must defeat ME in Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons: REAL LIFE EDITION!" Probabilitor created a gameboard. "Hahaha-hahaha!"
"What? Oh, come on!" Stan groaned.
"Can't we just kick your wrinkled old behind?" Frida asked.
"I choose my characters..." Two ogres appeared in the game. "vs..." Dipper and Ford appear as elf characters in his hand. "yours..."
"Ah! My ears! They're so pointy!" Ford exclaimed.
"There better be something protective under this tunic." Dipper turned around and opened his tunic. "Oh, no, there isn't!"
"Seriously, can't we just, like, arm wrestle or something?" Stan asked.
"Come on, this game is a lot of fun. I had my mom pack me a lunch." Probabilitor took some apple slices out of a paper bag. "Ew, apple slices? I'll eat you last."
"Uh, just make with the rules, ugly." Stan said, chewing some gum.
"The game is a battle royale. We help our characters by casting spells determined by rolls of the dice. If you win, I'll go back to my own dimension." Probabilitor explained.
Mabel clapped her hands.
"But if I win, I eat their brains."
"Hey," Dipper said hesitantly. "I'm not sure this is such a good-"
"DEAL!" Stan accepted, not one to turn down a challenge.
"Oh boy." Dipper sighed.
"Let the game... BEGIN!" Probabilitor rolled a 13. "Attack!"
The ogres tried to hammer Dipper and Ford with their clubs.
"Ah! Whoa!" Dipper shouted, running to avoid the clubs.
"Ah!" Ford exclaimed, barely dodging a strike to his head.
"What do we do? What are our moves?!" Stan asked frantically.
"There are no moves; you make them up!" Dipper answered, jumping out of the way of a club.
"What? Really?" Stan pondered.
"Yes! I tried to tell you: this game involves math, but also risk, cunning and imagination!" Ford explained.
"Risk?" Stan blinked and then grinned.
"Cunning?" Zoe and Frida exchanged excited smiles.
"Imagination?" Mabel turned to Stan. "Grunkle Stan, make something up! It's just like lying!"
"I cast, uh... shield of... shielding!" Stan rolled a 14 and a shield appeared in front of Dipper and Ford, protecting them from the ogres. "Ha! We're doing it!"
"Shield of Shielding Reversal Spell." Probabilitor rolled a dice and the shield disappeared.
"I cast: Giggle Time Bouncy Boots!" Mabel rolled dice and boots with springs appear on Dipper and Ford and they jump over the ogres.
"I cast: Metallic Awesome Wings!" Zoe rolled the dice next and metallic wings appeared on Dipper and Ford's backs.
"Hot flamey sword!"
A sword appeared in Dipper's hands.
"Super hot flamey sword!"
The sword grew longer.
"I cast: Super hot flamey sword slash flaming death guitar!" Frida rolled the dice and the swords now had guitar strings and playing rock and roll as Dipper jumped over an ogre and killed it with the sword/guitar while Ford killed the other ogre with his sword/guitar.
"No! Drat you! You'll never outrun my," Probabilitor rolled his dice. "Ogre-nado!"
An ogre-nado chased Dipper and Ford as they tried flying away.
" It is what it sounds like!"
The ogre-nado blew Dipper's and Ford's swords away.
"I cast: CENTAURTAUR! YAH!" Mabel rolled the dice and a horse with another horse body for a head appeared.
"Mabel, I am so confused and so proud right now." Stan said with a small smile.
Dipper and Ford got on the centaurtaur and it ran away from the ogre-nado.
"Go go go, Dipper go! You can do it!" Mabel cheered.
"Come on, you guys! Go! Go!" Stan cheered with her.
"Take 'em out!" Frida punched a fist in the air.
The centaurtaur ran into a smaller room and disappeared. The ogre-nado tried to follow but fell apart.
"Yeaahh!" Mabel shouted victoriously.
"Yes!" Stan and Zoe exclaimed simultaneously.
Then the Impossibeast, a large creature with tentacles and two fanged mouths picked up Dipper and Ford as Probabilitor cackled. "Hahaha yes! I was saving the worst for last!"
"Oh no!" Dipper cried.
"The Impossibeast! Hey, I thought they banned this character!" Ford exclaimed in shock.
"Think again! I'm playing the controversial 1991-1992 edition!" Probabilitor grinned as the Impossibeast slams Dipper and Ford against the wall.
Mabel shook the die. "I'll think of some weapons!"
"You don't understand. This is the most powerful monster in the game! He can only be defeated by rolling a perfect 38!" Ford explained. "But the odds of that are-"
Stan took the die from Mabel and shook it. "Hey, long odds are what you want when you're a world class gambler! Alright, Stan, you can do this... Papa needs a new pair of... TWINS!"
He threw the die and it landed on 38.
"NOOO!" Probabilitor screamed, unable to believe he had actually lost.
"Sorry, nerd-wizard. All your smarts are no match for dumb luck." Stan laughed.
"I cast DEATH MUFFINS!" Mabel declared and Muffins with dynamite sticking out of them appeared in Dipper and Ford's hands.
Dipper and Ford threw the death muffins into the Impossibeast's mouth.
"Huh?" The monster said and then exploded into muffins.
"Yes!" Stan and Zoe said triumphantly.
"Yeeaah!" Mabel and Frida high fived each other.
Dipper and Ford, holding muffins, appeared next to them in their normal clothes and Mabel hugged Dipper. "Hahaha!"
The Hot elf with Grenda hugging him, closed the rule book. "The game is, like, over. Excelci-whatever."
Probabilitor screamed as he began disappearing with the game. "No! I'm returning to my own realm! I'm turning into pure math! What are the ooooodddsss?" His voice echoed as he finally disappeared.
"Grunkle Stan, that was amazing! How did you know you'd win?" Dipper asked, unable to believe Stan beat the odds.
"Hey, a gambler never reveals his secrets." Stan picked up the die, which had gum stuck to the bottom and started chewing some new gum.
"Man! That was fun for ages 8 to 80! Or a million or however old you guys are!" Mabel exclaimd.
Stan looked at Dipper. "Y'know, I'm sorry for making fun of your game, kiddo. Sure, it might be too nerdy for me, but it's just the right amount of nerdy for you and my brother. If you two wanna hang out sometimes, I won't get in your way."
"Actually, after all that, I could use a little mindless fun." Dipper admitted.
"Guys! We can watch the second showing of Duck-tective! It's not too late!" Grenda squeaked her Duck-tective toy.
Xxx
Dipper, Mabel, Zoe, Frida Grenda, Stan and Soos were all in the living room at night watching Duck-tective.
"Wah, wah-wah. Wah, wah-wah."
Subtitles: I'm going to that big pond in the sky.
"I just don't understand who shot you. The only person clever enough to defeat Duck-tective is-"The Constable gasped. "Duck-tective!"
Duck-tective, or rather his twin brother threw a bedpan at Constable's head, knocking him out. "Wa wa-wa-wa-wa... WA-WA-WA!"
Subtitled: Time to finish the job... TWIN BROTHER!
The Duck-tective let out a terrified quack.
"He had a twin brother all along?" Mabel poured some chips on Stan. "That's the big twist we've been waiting for!?"
"WHAT A RIP-OFF!" Grenda shouted disappointedly.
"I predicted that, like, a year ago." Soos shook his head.
"Come on. A two year old writes better than this." Frida threw some popcorn at the TV.
Xxx
Down in the basement Ford locked the infinity-sided die away and turned to Dipper. "This'll be here if you ever need it."
"Really? Even though I got us into the whole game-playing mess?" Dipper asked.
"Eh, we both got carried away. I guess we'd both gone for a while without a friend. Dipper, can I tell you something?" Ford changed the subject.
Dipper nodded.
"You asked me earlier what I was working on. Well," Ford pulled a curtain down to reveal the portal generator was gone. "I dismantled the portal. An interdimensional gateway is too dangerous for the world it feeds into. That's why I was mad at Stan for using it. He saved me but, as I feared, the instability of the machine created this."
Ford held up a transparent sphere with a blob in it. "An interdimensional rift. I've contained it for now, but it's incredibly dangerous. Dipper, I don't want you to tell anyone about this. Not Stan, not even your sister and cousins. You understand?"
Dipper nodded. "Oh-uh, of course."
"In my time I've made many powerful enemies, but I trust you with this secret. Now get yourself to bed. I have much research to do." Ford dismissed his great nephew.
"Goodnight, Great uncle Ford." Dipper said before leaving.
"Goodnight, Dipper." Ford put the rift away.
Xxx
"In other news, the notorious and accused crime lord Midas Gout was finally arrested and charged today. After a vicious battle on a highway, which caused over five thousand technos in property damage and the injury of over ninety people, a search warrant from the police allowed them to search through Midas Gout's mansion where they found a substantial amount of evidence connecting Gout to multiple serious crimes, including murder."
"Wow, you think you've seen everything." Keanu switched the TV off. "Any idea who the newbies were?"
"Exactly that, newbies." Rino said, adjusting his suitcase. "That kind of collateral damage can only be done by rookies."
Raven had been meditating when the news report came on and had to agree. "I've seen this kind of damage from new heroes that only just started."
"Well, at least another punk is down."
Xxx
"Even though another will be along shortly."
A trio of men in suits were watching the Bagge house, the leader tapping his ear piece. "The target is here. Requesting reinforcements."
"Bell will be on her way."
Xxx
Name: Midas Gout
Aura: Golden Yellow
Semblance: Midas Touch
Description: Midas can change anything he touches to gold, including himself. He can even turn people into golden statues, killing them instantly.
Weapon: A Double sided golden mace that was five feet long with a spiked ball at each end of the metal staff.
()
New Grimm Sighted
Name: Troll
Species: Troll
Description: Resembling the mythical creature(mythical to those who do not know they exist) the Troll is as big and hulking as the real thing with boned armor covering its arms and torso with sharp horns on its head. Extremely strong and durable.