Sho didn't end up spending the night in Ritsu's wardrobe.
No, he had spent the whole night next to Ritsu in his room and his bed just kissing and talking, talking and kissing, until the sun started to come up. Sho wished that he could have stayed the whole rest of the day, he wished that he could have stayed forever, even if it meant that he had to live in Ritsu's wardrobe for the rest of his life. He couldn't, though, because the first train out of Seasoning City left the station at five in the morning. Sho had never gotten up that early on his own before but it was easy, mostly, because he'd been up all night.
He wasn't tired.
Sure his eyes felt heavy and he'd been yawning a lot but he wasn't tired, no, he couldn't be tired. Not after the night that he'd had. He had kissed Ritsu…his boyfriend…he had a boyfriend now! Sho wanted to do nothing more or less than to climb to the top of the tallest skyscraper in Tokyo and shout for the whole world to hear 'I'm in love with Kageyama Ritsu and I'm his boyfriend' but maybe with more cursing so people knew that he was serious. He was in love with Ritsu, Ritsu loved him back, and now they were boyfriends…secret boyfriends. Dad couldn't know about Ritsu, he'd kill him, and Ritsu couldn't tell anyone about Sho. There was no way that he could explain him to people without having to talk about Claw stuff and the last thing that Sho wanted was for Ritsu to start talking about Claw stuff. No, Sho wanted to put him in some kind of a bubble or a cage or something so that he couldn't get out and mess with Claw and get kidnapped again.
But they didn't make habitrails big enough for people.
Well they should have. That way he could have kept Ritsu, that way he could have kept his BOYFRIEND, safe and sound. Ritsu wasn't ever going to stop working against Claw…but that was a problem for them to work through later. Not now. Right now Sho was just too happy. He could have walked on air if he'd wanted to. A boyfriend…a boy who loved him…he had a boyfriend! He had a boyfriend and-
-and he was going to have to break up with his girlfriend.
That…took a lot of the happiness out of him. Like he was a tire with a hole in it. He…well maybe that had to do with the fact that he was almost home. He could see dad's aura…it was still early. Sho would have thought that he'd left by now. Didn't he have dad stuff to do? Or anything other than taking away what had been the most happiness that Sho had ever had inside of himself? Thinking about Emmy…well that hadn't helped…but dad ruined it…
There was no way in hell dad could know.
Who Sho did and did not love was none of dad's business. Who Sho chose to kiss was none of dad's business. Who Sho chose to make out with was none of dad's business. Dad didn't have any right to tell Sho how to live his life! Dad was the one who cheated on mom and made Mukai by accident! At least Sho hadn't made a whole new person! He may have been a cheater but he wasn't anyone's secret dad, and there was no hope of that since people didn't get pregnant by kissing and anyway Ritsu was a guy, and…well he didn't want to be anyone' secret dad but he did like the idea of having kids. Kids were like at least ten hamsters. You could play with them and take care of them and feed them and love them and they loved you right back. Sho had always hated it how dad just assumed that Sho was happy with the life dad planned for him. Well he wasn't. He was his own person and he could live his own life without dad telling him what to do!
Fuck dad! Fuck dad for being his dad and fuck dad for being home right now!
He could see his house now, well the one he was living in. There was the normal car out front that took dad to work…Sho decided to start cutting through people's yards. He didn't need people asking dad why he was walking around so early in the morning. Dad couldn't know where he had been or even that he'd been gone. He knew dad, he knew that despite whatever lies he's managed to convince big sis of he would still kick Sho's ass for being gay, and he knew that Ritsu would have been in more danger than any other human being on the planet if dad found out that they were boyfriends…so Sho needed to keep Ritsu to himself…
But hiding…hiding was stupid.
Going through the backdoor, however, was smart.
Sho could see his door. All he had to do was cut through Shimazaki and the others' yard. He was careful to avoid the tiny lemon trees, of course, he didn't really want to die right now. Sure he had a boyfriend and he could die a happy man….but he was only eleven and he could die later. When dad killed him after he looked dad in the eye and said 'I'm gay and you can't do anything about it'. That would come…he didn't know when. Hiding was so stupid. Shimazaki didn't hide who he was. He was the coolest guy ever…not that Sho still loved him…well he did but as a friend…mostly….he wouldn't ask Shimazaki out but he wouldn't throw out all the sketchbooks with the naked sketches of him…
Sho walked faster.
He jumped over the last fence. Now he was in his yard…and also he'd crushed some dolls. Either big sis's or Mukai's…fuck! Now he would have to make it up to them…and he already had to make all this cheating and sneaking around up to big sis. He knew what it was to keep secrets like this, how hard it was, and if she wanted to yell at him, not that she ever had, but if she wanted to she would have been justified in it. If she wanted to lay into him the minute he opened the door then it would have been ok…
He made it to the door. He closed his eyes. He braced himself.
He was hugged.
"Hey, big sis. How's it going?" asked Sho. Big sis was hugging him, now, as tightly as she could. He patted her on the back. He kind of wished that she'd told him off or yelled at him or done….anything other than hug him…but this was his sister and she didn't do things like that. She loved him. No matter what he did she still loved him. Even…even if he cheated…no! He didn't want to think about this! The happiness had been stuck to him since leaving Seasoning City! He wished that they made happiness glue or happiness tape or…or something else sticky!
But they didn't.
The only thing that was stuck to him right now was his big sister. She was hugging him like they had been stuck together with glue or tape…or maybe if they had gone through some kind of human fly teleporting machine…or not, since their heads were still where they should have been. Also teleporting accidents didn't work like that. Shimazaki had said so. You didn't get fused with other stuff, you just displaced it, people too…not that Sho wanted to think about Shimazaki or anything about him right now! No, right now he just wanted to go to bed.
That is if big sis let him.
"Big sis?" asked Sho. He tried to take a step back but she didn't let him. She just held him tighter…if that was even possible.
"Come on, let go." Said Sho once the hugging got to be too much. She let go, slowly, until there was finally space between the two of them.
"Ok, I'm done now." Said Mob. She had other words for him. She could have told him that he smelled weird. She could have told him that his hair was greasy and he needed a bath. She could have told him that while he'd been gone his girlfriend had called twice and texted three times. She could have told him that, if he wanted, she could have told Emmy that Sho wanted to break up. That would have saved him a lot of heartache…
But she knew him and she knew that no matter what happened he would have wanted to deal with this himself.
"Thanks." Said Sho. Big sis was looking at him in that way she looked at him when she was thinking really had. She looked kind of like dad when she did that. It wasn't a good look for her.
"Dad thinks that you've been out catching Pokémon all night…sorry. That was the best lie that I could think of." Said Mob as she straightened Sho's jacket out. She needed to wash these clothes…and he needed to take a bath too. He had dust on him and dirt…and…what was that? She straightened out his collar…that wasn't dirt…but she kind of wished that it was even though Sho hated taking baths…well he needed one…
To get the dirt off of him…and the weird smell too.
She leaned in closer to him. It was weird but…familiar? She knew that she'd smelled it before but…but where? Sort of like…she didn't know. A house? Every house had a smell, she had been in enough of them to have noticed by now, and…and that must have been the smell of his boyfriend's house. Sho smelled weird and was all dirty and…and it looked like he'd been in a fight. There, on the side of his neck, looked like some very deep bruises…maybe Sho's boyfriend had tried to fight him!
She should not have been so happy about that…the thought of Sho having to break up with his boyfriend because they fought…
She didn't want her brother to get hurt but…but she needed to…to be able to keep him happy. There was nothing that she could do. She had no idea how she could help him with this, love stuff, stuff that she had no experience in. She wanted him to be happy and if being happy with this boy was what he wanted then…then she should have wanted him to stay with this boy…even though being with him made Sho do incredibly dangerous and risky things…..but that was what love did to people she supposed….and no matter what happened she would always protect Sho…
She just wished that she didn't have to protect Sho from dad.
"He's never going to believe that! I don't like Pokémon enough to stay out all night doing it!" said Sho
"He might not know that you were out all night…now come on, before dad notices!" said Mob as she took Sho by the hand and pulled him into the house. His shoes were still on. She didn't know how he could take them off and walk at the same time…and she needed him to walk right now. Well what she needed to do was get him to run but running made too much noise.
The last thing that they needed was to make noise.
The bathroom door was still closed. Good. Dad was still getting ready. She didn't know how she would have explained…any of this. The red marks on his neck, the weird smell that was clinging to his clothes, the way his face and his aura looked so happy…everything about him was so weird that even dad would notice….and if he noticed then he would ask questions and if he asked Mob more questions then she would have to tell even more lies. She didn't want to tell lies. She wanted….well she wasn't sure what she wanted…but she knew that she didn't want to tell lies.
Also she wanted to get Sho into some pajamas so she could tell one final lie.
"Here, put this on and take off your shoes. I'll put them in the genkan for you. If dad asks you've been here all night." Said Mob as she tossed Sho the first pair of pajamas she could get out of his drawer. They were his least favorite pair, the plain green ones with the buttons, but she didn't have time to pick out his favorite pair right now. She had to get breakfast on the table after this. She had to distract dad some more so he didn't say anything about suddenly being able to feel Sho's aura. She had…she had a lot to do…
But nothing was more important than her little brother.
"I hate these." Said Sho
"Well I don't have time to find your favorites." Said Mob
"They're in the hamper." Said Sho
"I don't have time to do laundry. I have to try and make breakfast and…and I have to distract dad some more…and I have to put makeup on the red marks on your neck, too." Said Mob
"I don't want to play the Shoko game! It's not even your birthday!" said Sho. He dropped his pajamas and held his hands over his face. There was no way in hell he was going to play dress up and makeup…time…place…whatever! He wasn't doing that even if he did owe her one!
"Sho! Not so loud…and it's not for fun. You have a bunch of red marks all over your neck and I know that dad's going to ask about them." Said Mob
"I do no! I would have noticed if-" said Sho as big sis reached out her hand and caught her mirror. He almost wished that she'd lost control and broken it. But she hadn't, it worked just fine. No cracks…not even any smudges. He could see himself…and all the stuff on his neck…right where she said that it was…
Oh. Fuck.
"I wasn't doing anything! I got punched in the throat!" shouted Sho. He was the one to lose control over his powers. Not as bad as the time big sis knocked down and entire division, no, but enough to knock down their bookshelf. He couldn't help it. There. There was proof. There was so much proof and he had no idea what he as supposed to do and…and…and there shouldn't have been any proof! Now if there was proof then dad would know and if dad knew. If dad knew then he'd hunt Ritsu down like he hunted people down who betrayed him. Sho felt the last of the happiness leaving him….all of it was gone and replaced by fear…the cold sort of fear that grabbed you by the heart and didn't let go no matter what.
Sort of like a big sister but worse.
"I'm sorry that happened to you. Here, let's see Fukuda and-" said Mob
"No way!" said Sho
"I know that he's kind of a jerk but he can fix you-" said Mob
"I don't care! I'm not going anywhere!" said Sho
"Not so loud! Dad might hear you!" said Mob
"I don't care! I am not going to see Fukuda! I don't give a fuck about-" said Sho. The door opened. He tried to slam it shut with his powers but it didn't work. Of course it didn't work. Dad was a hell of a lot stronger than him…and bigger too…but Sho wasn't scared! Well….not that scared at least…
"Sho. Explain." Said Suzuki as he threw the children's door opened without even knocking. He knew that Shigeko hated this, she had this idea in her head that he was going to walk in on her changing someday, but she didn't give him enough credit. Obviously she wouldn't have been changing in the same room as her brother.
"Sho got punched in the throat." Said Mob. She knew that she would have to say how he got punched in the throat, she would have to make up another lie, but she just didn't have one. Maybe she could say that Sho got into a real life battle over a Pokémon? No, that wasn't a good lie…well there were no good lies since telling lies was wrong. She was tired of telling lies and she'd only told one so far. How had Sho kept this up for so long?
"I got punched in the throat." Said Sho. Dad didn't say anything, he just narrowed his eyes. He looked Sho up and down…and then down then up…and then his eyes found one spot and got stuck there. Sho had no idea what he thought he was seeing. Sho knew how that happened. Ritsu talked about some stuff he saw people doing sometimes, the way middle schoolers kissed in the bushes at the park, and then they had to try….and it felt good…but it wasn't like dad knew anything about that. Sho didn't know what he'd been worried about.
Of course dad had no idea what this was from. Girls didn't like him, not even his own wife had liked him.
"Shigeko, go and have breakfast next door. Right now." Said Suzuki, his eyes stuck to Sho. Specifically his neck. Specifically the bruises on his neck. Suzuki wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what those were, he knew exactly how Sho got them, and he knew exactly what he had to do.
Get Shigeko out of the room.
"But dad-" said Mob. She didn't know what she could say beyond the Pokémon lie. She knew that dad would have more questions, he always had follow up questions, and she would take them as they came. She hated lying, she really hated it, but she loved her little brother more than she hated lying. She also hated fighting with her dad more than she hated lying…and she knew what she had told him. If he rejected Sho, or made him feel bad at all, about being who he was then she would leave. She….she knew that she had promised Sho…and she would make good on her promise…but she and dad had only just sort of made up. She knew that dad was weird, and mean to most people, and also he could be a jerk to his own kids….but he was the only dad she had and she loved him.
It was for her own good. She didn't need to know about these things. She…he had no idea what she knew and what she didn't know. He had no idea what it was that she did at this point in her life either…and he didn't want to know. Maybe she had no idea what necking was. Maybe she honestly believed that her brother had been punched in the throat…of course she believed it. She would never have lied to him, not consciously anyway, and…and she could not add liar to her list of traits that described her brother….a list that Suzuki knew was getting longer by the second…
It took sixteen hours to get to London.
Twelve if you flew commercial, which they never did. Sixteen hours in a public plane with plenty of stops to refuel. Sho had last been seen….when had he last been seen? Yesterday at breakfast? Suzuki couldn't even remember if he'd seen Sho at breakfast….but it hadn't been thirty six hours yet….plus that time that it had taken for Sho to get himself in that state…
There hadn't been enough time. No matter how Suzuki ran the numbers there just wasn't enough time.
"Go." Said Suzuki. He pushed her away with his powers, gently of course, until she was out the door. She had been dressed, he maybe wouldn't have sent her off if she had still been in her pajamas, but that wasn't something that he had to worry about now. No, right now his biggest worry was his son…his son who apparently took after him in more ways than he had ever imagined.
This was his fault.
This was because of him. He had said, before, that he was proud of the man Sho was becoming….and he had been. He had been so proud of his son for finding a girlfriend, and later a fiancé, at his young age. That was better than Suzuki had ever done at any point in his life. He had been so proud…but now he was ashamed. Of himself. Not Sho, no, Sho was his son and a son was only as good as the father was. He had set a terrible example and now his son was paying the price.
He was a bad father.
"What? If you're going to kick my ass can you get it over with already? I have stuff to do today." Said Sho. He crossed his arms and stared dad down…well at least he tried to. Dad was still the master of staring people down. Sho had no idea what dad was staring at. Dad had seen the marks on his neck, and he assumed that they weren't changing, so dad had no reason to keep staring. What, did he think that if he stared at them long enough they'd tell him the future or something?
Sho could have told him his future right now.
One day he was going to turn into an old person. Then Sho was going to take the world from him, marry Ritsu, and rub his marriage right in dad's face. He'll be too old to do shit about it! He'd kiss Ritsu a thousand times right in front of dad and dad wouldn't even have been able to get up and hit him. Then Sho would hide his pills, old people took a lot of pills he'd noticed, and then he'd die. Nobody would have thought that it was suspicious, either. Shimazaki had told him. When a young person died then it was suspicious but when an old person died it was nature's way or whatever. That was why it was so much less work killing an old person than a young person. Sho…he didn't know if he could kill someone….but he was just a kid now. He'd grow up one day.
When he grew up then dad would grow old….and then Sho could finally be happy.
"Don't curse. I have told you a thousand times not to curse-" said Suzuki lowly. He had told and told and told Sho not to curse! That was…he could punish the boy for this! He knew that he wasn't supposed to curse…he had never told Sho never to cheat but he had told him never to curse and…and that was…
He shoved Sho.
He went down. He didn't stay down, of course, he hadn't stayed down since he'd been small. Back when he would burst out into tears in an attempt at getting his mother on his side. Sho knew what he'd done wrong then and he knew what he'd done wrong now…so it was alright to shove him back to the ground…and then again….and again….
But not too many times, of course, since Shigeko was still near and she had an aversion to any and all kinds of violence.
"What? That's all you got?" said Sho as he pulled himself up. Dad had been shoving him to the ground. He was getting a lot weaker in his old age. Dad hadn't gone that easy on him since he'd been in preschool. Nothing. He wasn't even bleeding. He got up. Dad didn't push him down. No, now he was back to the staring.
Fuck the staring.
"No." said Suzuki. Sho…was nothing like him. Whenever mother and father had seen fit to punish him he'd always accepted it. He'd had his powers for as long as he could remember but he had also known, for as long as he could remember, that he got was he deserved. If he hadn't done something wrong then his mother and father would have had no reason to punish him…but Sho…he had no idea what he'd done wrong….
That was Suzuki's fault. This whole thing was Suzuki's fault.
"Then get the hell out and leave me alone." Said Sho. He braced himself for dad to shove him again or hit him or…something! But he didn't. He just stared.
"I just told you not to curse." Said Suzuki
"I know. I was here." Said Sho
"Why are you choosing to defy me? You know that no matter how many times you defy me I won't stop punishing you. I'm your father, it's my job to correct you." Said Suzuki
"Well then you're a terrible dad." Said Sho. Now it was his time to stare. Dad's eyes got wide and then narrow again. He balled his hands into fists. His aura glowed bright red. A bunch of plaster came down from the ceiling. Sho stood his ground. He wasn't scared. He would never, ever, ever have been scared of dad…not now. Even though big sis was next door, he could tell by her aura, and if dad wanted to he could have just snapped his fingers and Sho would have been dead before he even knew it…
He wasn't scared and he wasn't going to give up.
"Did you hear me?! I said that you're the worst dad in the world! Even worse than a hamster dad, and they eat their kids! I wish that…that I had a hamster for a dad or….or a rock or….or even Fukuda! Did you hear me!?" shouted Sho. He tried to get closer to dad, close enough to really make sure that he knew dad could hear him, but he couldn't. Dad just put up a barrier…his barrier was too strong for Sho to break through…dad was still so much stronger than him…
But he didn't care!
He didn't care what dad said or did to him. He didn't care how dad was probably planning, right now, how he was going to break Sho into a million little pieces. He didn't care if dad was going to hate him for the rest of his life. He didn't care if dad beat him up all day and all night. He didn't care about anything anymore! He was tired of lying! He was tired trying to be who dad wanted him to be! No matter what he did he knew that dad would never have been happy with him! Never have loved him! Dad….dad sucked so much! Life sucked!
But he could make it either suck a lot more or a little less.
"Can't you hear me?! I hate you! I hate you and-" said Sho
"I know that you hate me…and really you have every reason to. I can't fault you for hating me. Not with the way I've acted." Said Suzuki
"Wh…what?" asked Sho. He took a step back. He had dreamed this, imagined this, so many times before. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now. He had no idea if this was even life. Maybe he was still asleep curled up on Ritsu's bed. Maybe this was still a dream and he'd wake up and…and his head hurt. This wasn't a dream. There wasn't any pain in dreams.
Lots of pain in real life, though.
"I know how you got those marks on your neck." Said Suzuki
"I-I got punched in the throat. I really did!" said Sho
"Don't lie to me. I was your age once, you know, a lot older than you when I got into what it is that you're getting into." Said Suzuki. He knew Sho. He knew Sho because he knew himself. He had been thirteen the first time he came home covered in evidence of what he got into when nobody was looking. He also remembered how his mother and father had reacted. Mother fell to the ground in shock and begged God to tell her why Suzuki did these things to hurt her. His father had simply locked him in his room and told him that he could come out when he was ready to explain to his mother why he was so devoted to brining shame upon his family.
It had been confusing.
He hadn't done what he'd done to bring shame upon his family. Whenever he visited this memory, the rare times that he did, he had always been confused. How was he supposed to know why he had brought shame on the family when he hadn't intended to? In his mind he had just been doing something that felt good at the time with a girl who had professed to loving him. There had been no ulterior motive…but he had thought that he must have had some subconscious desire to harm his family even though he cared deeply for them at the time…but now at forty five, nearly forty six, he realized that his parents were just as capable as everyone else in the world of being mistaken. That was what they had been, mistaken, and…and he knew how to learn. He was good at it. He was perfectly capable of learning from his parents mistakes…and he would not mistake what Sho had done for anything other than what it had been.
He'd been young, found a willing girl, and did what anyone would have done it they had a father who went around not only womanizing but also…also had illegitimate children…
"You were my age when you met mom?" asked Sho. That didn't match with the story that Fukuda had told him. Mom and dad had met at a train station and then they fell in love and Sho came from that. Fukuda…well sometimes he lied…like now. Either that or dad had kissed someone else. That was crazy, though, kissing was amazing and he had no idea why anyone would have wanted to do it with someone as mean and jerky as dad. Maybe that was why mom had left…she hadn't been able to take kissing dad anymore.
"No. Not your mother…and I was older than you at the time…but that didn't matter. I know that you were out necking yesterday-" said Suzuki
"What the fuck does that mean!?" asked Sho
"How you got those marks on your neck, and don't tell me that you got punched in the throat. I know what it looks like when someone gets punched in the throat and I know what it looks like when someone gets…over enthusiastic." Said Suzuki. Sho took a step back from him. He didn't have any room and he ended up sitting down on Shigeko's bed. He reached up and covered his neck even though Suzuki had seen the marks already. That was what they were talking about right now at this moment….
He had thought that this would have been easier.
Shigeko was so much older, and she could have gotten up to so much more, but speaking to her about all of this…it had been awkward but not this awkward….no. Awkward was not the word for this. Painful. That was a better word. This was painful. His son…he had taught his son this….and he had nobody to blame but himself.
Well maybe the girl who Sho had been necking with…but he would find her later. Right now he had Sho to deal with.
"Are you going to kick my ass or what?" said Sho
"No. I won't." said Suzuki
"Then why the hell are you still in my fucking room you dick hole that sucks dicks-" said Sho. Dad's aura flared out. He wasn't scared, no, he was relieved. This made sense. Dad beating him up…it made perfect sense. It wasn't fun, it hurt like hell, but it was a hell of a lot better than having dad staring at him and talking like…like Sho didn't even know what!
"Sho. Enough. Now." Said Suzuki slowly.
"No." said Sho. He didn't know what he would do next, exactly, but he knew that he had to hold his ground no matter what.
"Yes." said Suzuki. He didn't know why Sho had to be so defiant, it was so tiresome, and he was close to giving up…but he didn't. No matter what happened he knew that he had to hold his ground no matter what.
"No! I'm not going to shut up! Either hit me or don't! I don't care anymore!" shouted Sho. He was glad big sis was gone…she would have hated that. The yelling…he didn't like it either…he didn't like anything that would have hurt her…the only person that loved him in this family…the only person who wasn't Mukai.
"Well you should. I won't be hitting you. This is my fault and I have no reason to punish you for something that I know for a fact that I am directly responsible for. If not for my blatant…if not for the circumstances of Mukai's creation." Said Suzuki
"What's Mukai got to do with anything?" asked Sho
"I cheated on your mother and you, in tune, cheated on your girlfriend. This is my fault. Well my fault and also whichever girl did this with you…yes…she has her part to play-" said Suzuki
"I wasn't kissing a girl." Said Sho. He was shaking, he was looking dad in the eye, and his aura was practically nothing. He…he knew that either he fought like hell or he was going to die…so he was going to fight like hell! He didn't care if he died today, right here, at this second! He took a step towards dad.
"Don't lie. I already said-" said Suzuki
"I was kissing a guy." Said Sho. Dad…didn't hit him. He didn't do anything. His aura was even still. It was like looking at a dead body or a mannequin made of human skin…or something. All pale and still. If not for his aura being all mad…wait…no. That was more yellow than red…mostly yellow….and…and that was new…
Sho had no idea what he was supposed to do with this information.
"Sho…Son…I have no idea what to do with this information." Said Suzuki. That…was…information. His first impulse had been to beat Sho senseless…for the cheating and the blatant homosexuality…but…but this wasn't anything that Suzuki hadn't done when he'd been young…so he couldn't punish Sho without being a hypocrite…even though his son couldn't possibly have been…no…no…no!
"Beat the shit out of me so you can go to work?" asked Sho. He closed his eyes and flinched…but dad didn't move. He didn't say anything. He just stared…an stared…WHAT?! Hadn't dad ever seen a gay person before!?
"I…will not be doing that…for a variety of reasons." Said Suzuki
"Because big sis said that she'd leave you like mom left you." Said Sho. That time dad did twitch. There was more red in his aura, a little more red, but it was quickly chased way by all the yellow.
"No. Unlike your mother your sister cares enough to take you with her." said Suzuki. He chose his words well, he thought, he didn't curse…this was one of those rare times when he felt like cursing, and he didn't say anything that Shigeko would have disapproved of. No. He simply stated a fact.
A painful one but a true one.
"F-Fuck you! Don't talk about my mom!" shouted Sho. He took a swing at dad…but then his arm got stuck in the air. He tried to swing forward but it was stuck. He tried again…and then his arm was twisted practically out of it's socket. Dad was putting it back at his side…
No matter how brave Sho got dad would always be stronger.
"I will say whatever needs to be said about her. The fact of the matter is simple. She did not care enough for you to take you with her. Your sister cares more for you, and myself as well, than your mother ever did. That's why she would take you with her if she had any reason to. She does not." Said Suzuki
"I just told you that I'm gay and you're not-" said Sho
"You're not a homosexual." Said Suzuki. There was nothing about kissing another man, or boy in Sho's case, that made one a homosexual. Suzuki thought, often, of kissing Fukuda…and even more than that…but he was also attracted to women…so that meant that he was not a homosexual. He was…something…but he was not a homosexual and Sho was not a homosexual and…and it was very hot in here. It was hot and the air was thick and stale…his lungs could not draw in enough air no matter how much he tried to force them opened. His power…he could see, there, on the bedside table. A glass had been turned to power…that was his doing. There were piles of shredded plastic at his feet. He…he was close to losing control and…and if he lost control then he would lose Shigeko. That could never have been allowed to happen.
He needed to get out of here….so that was what he did.
"Dad? Dad! DAD!? Where the fuck do you think you're going?! I'm gay? Do you hear me? I'm gay! I, Suzuki Sho, am gay! GAY!" shouted Sho. He followed dad through the house and out the door. Dad didn't say anything to him. Dad didn't do anything to him. Dad just rushed over to the car…even though it was Sunday and he had no reason to rush! Where the fuck did he have to go?! What was more important than this!?
What was more important than Sho…?
Everything. Sho had thought about this day, imagined it, fantasized about it, dreaded it…he had ran through this a thousand times in his head but it had never once ended like this. Dad had never just turned around and walked away. Dad had kicked his ass, he had kicked dad's ass, the destroyed each other, they destroyed the world, big sis kicked both of their asses for fighting…that last one was the craziest…no! Dad turning around and ignoring him…walking away…this was the craziest thing that could have happened…and not in a good way either. A cold sort of way…a painful sort of way…a lonely sort of way…
A way that was more painful, lonely, and cold than Sho had ever felt before…and he'd spend hours hidden in a wardrobe once…maybe he never should have come out.