"This is no longer your home. It's time for you to cross over. Peace awaits you there."
That was the funniest sentence that Mob had ever heard in her entire life. That was not how you exorcised a spirit. She knew, she hadn't exorcised many spirits in her lifetime but she knew how it was done. You just poured as much of your energy into the spirt as you could until it couldn't hold its self together anymore. Dad called it 'not being able to hold a corporeal form' which was a lot of very big words for 'not being able to stay together sort of like when you put too much milk in a milkshake and then instead of being like drinking soft serve ice cream it was more like drinking milk water, which was very good too, though when you were in the mood for a milkshake then it was kind of disappointing to have milk water…ice cream milk water…ice cream was good' it was more like that then what dad said.
Did they have any ice cream?
"Hey Sho?" asked Mob as she took her pen from her lips and coughed. This was…kind of the good thing about dad being off on a mission. She could smoke in the house without him asking her to stop or asking her to share. She could sit on the couch with the best little brother in the whole wide world and smoke with him until either her pen ran out of batteries or she coughed up one of her lungs.
Hopefully the pen thing would happen first.
"This is no longer your-what's up? I was doing the thing…the thing the guy said…in the movie." Said Sho. This was the funniest movie ever. Normal people should not have been making ghost movies. They didn't know what they were doing. If you wanted to exorcise a spirit then you didn't just say a bunch of stupid words at it, no, you just filled it with your energy until it popped like a balloon. Like a water balloon since there was ectoplasm and stuff. It smelled weird and stained your clothes and then your sister got mad at you because nobody invented a way to get ectoplasm out of clothes which was so weird because they could get mustard out and chocolate and ketchup….fuck ketchup! Dad liked ketchup! Ketchup was disgusting and he hated it and he hoped that dad's clothes were stained in a way that big sis could never clean them…and then he hoped that a bird pecked him on the head and a ghost threw up ectoplasm all over him…the green kind…the kind that was green like….
Wait, big sis was passing him the pen again.
"Oh…ok. You can have some more….but be careful." Said Mob. She could feel her socks. Well she could always feel her socks since she had feeling in her feet and stuff but now she could really feel them. That meant that she was high…and also that these were the softest socks in her entire collection. She remembered when she got these. These were from Shimazaki, he had gotten her them when she turned eleven….he had put a lot of thought into them….but now that she put some thought into them she wanted to take them off…
These were high thoughts.
She was fine. She was going to keep on wearing her socks even though her friend had given them to her and that same friend had also kissed her and her best friend knew about it and things were ok but it still felt weird so now she was hanging out with her little brother instead of being next door hanging out with her best friend and painting each other's nails like she wanted to because Minori was so bad at painting nails so she needed a new coat and that was mean but not as mean as rejecting a birthday present a year after she'd gotten it just because he friend who gave it to her wanted to be more than friends and even kissed her a bunch of times and that friend was also friends with her little brother and it was even more complicated than that because your little brother was in love with that friend and-
Oh. Right. Sho wanted to smoke some more.
"Thanks." Said Sho as he took the pen from big sis. This was more fun than smoking with Shimazaki. He'd bene so sad lately…it was weird and Sho didn't like it. Shimazaki did not get sad. Shimazaki helped make him feel better when he got sad. Shimazaki was brave and cool and…well he used to be….and he used to be fun to smoke with, too, before he got all sad and shit. Big sis was fun to smoke with, especially when she actually let him smoke with her.
Even if it was just one of her pens.
This tasted like oranges and it made his mouth itch. This was all that she had, though, since she liked this kind and Shimazaki always got her the kind she liked…he was always getting her stuff…and talking about her, too. It was like he liked her or something but that was stupid. Shimazaki was in love with Minegishi for some weird reason. He didn't like big sis…he wouldn't have done that to Sho. He was a good friend like that even if he was sad all the time even when he smoked and they did fun stuff…like when they collected all that ectoplasm and they left it on the shrine and then the shrine guys freaked out…that had been a cool day….every day with Shimazaki used to be a cool day…but days with big sis could be cool too! She was…she was actually kind of cool….or at least smoking with her and watching movies was cool. It was kind of like when they were little kids but now they were high as fuck.
But in a good way, not the way where you heard stuff and then passed out.
"You should….you should slow down. That was a lot." Said Mob as she took the pen from Sho. He was coughing a lot, a lot more than he should have been, but that made sense since he'd inhaled for much longer than he should have inhaled for. He wasn't the good at smoking yet, maybe because he was so little, and maybe because they didn't smoke together that often too. She had to make sure that he didn't get too high, or stoned even, because then…well getting stoned wasn't always fun. Sometimes your brain came up with thoughts that it shouldn't have come up with and then you couldn't help but think about things that you shouldn't have….
Mob hit the pen again.
"I'll slow down when you slow down." Said Sho
"I…I don't think that I need to slow down. I'm fine." Said Mob as she exhaled. She hadn't even coughed that time. She was fine…she was not stoned…and her socks weren't that comfortable. They were normal. They were normal and she was normal and Shimazaki was normal and…and she and Shimazaki were normal and…and Minegishi said that it was all ok, even the kissing, so there was no point in thinking about this.
"You've been smoking just as much as I have so if you want me to slow down then you need to slow down." Said Sho
"I've been smoking for longer than you have so it's different. I have more tolerance. Like how you're supposed to drink liquor so that way you won't get drunk from beer." Said Mob
"Gross. Liquor. Who the fuck told you do drink something that gross?" asked Sho
"Shimazaki…but not in a weird way! He's not weird…he's normal…" said Mob
"No he's not." Said Sho. He missed how things used to be. He missed how Shimazaki used to be so cool…how he always kept Sho safe. He could keep himself safe, he wasn't a little kid anymore, but it was…it was nice knowing that someone could keep him safe….someone who he liked could keep him safe…not that he was supposed to like Shimazaki anymore…not that he was supposed to like anyone other than Ritsu…
He took the pen back from big sis.
"Yes he is!" said Mob. If she hadn't been smoking so much she would have turned the house upside down. Sho…her little brother could NOT know that she had stolen the love of his life from him. Well he had a new boyfriend now but…but he still loved Shimazaki and stuff and…and she had been really selfish but…but it was over now and things were normal again! Things were normal and Shimazaki was normal and she was normal and….and no, she was weird. Only a weird person would have still thought about stuff like this.
"No he's not, he's been weird. Sad." Said Sho as he coughed out some more of this itchy smoke. That was what it was, it made the whole inside of his mouth itch…and maybe his skin was just a little bit itchy too….but he was fine.
"He's been…sad?" asked Mob as she passed Sho the soda bottle with her powers. He was rubbing his tongue around his lips. That happened when you smoked, you got really thirsty. Shimazaki said that it was ok when that happened, that it was normal and stuff, and that…well she didn't want to think about the rest.
"Yeah, for a while. It's weird. He's been weird and stuff..." said Sho
"Oh…I'm sorry…I really am." Said Mob
"What are you sorry about? You're not the one who did the earthquake. Dad did. Fuck dad." Said Sho
"Y-Yeah….I didn't do it…but….um….what's this movie about again? I stopped paying attention." Said Mob quickly. Sho rolled his eyes. Good. He was listening to her and now they could stop talking about Shimazaki.
"Some guy moves into a house and it's haunted so he has to try and get the ghost out. It's not complicated. I've seen more complicated movies…like that weird one where it's like…you don't know what's real and what isn't? Like with all the flashbacks and stuff and the aliens." Said Sho
"I never saw it. I mostly just watch the same stuff I've always watched." Said Mob
"I know…and don't put Frozen on after this! Every time I hear the song, not even let it go but the one at the beginning-" said Sho
"Vuelie. It's called Vuelie and that's because it's a Norwegian word that means-" said Mob
"Big sis….I love you. I love you a lot but I don't want to ever talk about Frozen ever again. I've had enough Frozen to last me forever. You know, like the time we ate all the churros and then went on the teacups and then we threw up and didn't like churros anymore for a while? It's like that." said Sho. Churros sounded good right now, the big ones at Tokyo Disneyland, and also some of the green popcorn too…and also the Mickey ears ice cream bars were good…and the giant lollipops…and also a shaved ice, but a blue one without lemons, sounded good…
He needed food to live.
"I…guess that's ok. You're still my little brother, I still love you and I always will…now have some more soda. Your mouth is too dry." Said Mob. She still loved Sho and she always would even though he had just said something so awful that her ears still didn't believe what she heard. She still loved him and always would. Even if he killed someone and hid the body in their room and then it started to smell weird and she had to make up excuses and then the house filled with bugs and the walls dripped with ectoplasm and she had to do a normal people style exorcism then she still would have loved him.
"It's not, my mouth is fine…well it's itchy…but that's nothing that we can't fix with churros. Big sis, make me churros!" said Sho
"I wish I could! I wish that I could make you a hundred churros but I don't know how! I'm a selfish person and I suck and I wish that I wasn't such a selfish b-word all the time and I wish that I knew how churros worked!" said Mob
"You know how they work. You just make the churro and then you put the filling in. Duh." Said Sho
"But….how do you make the batter? Batter is important." Said Mob
"You just put water in flour and then you put in sugar and…and ingredients." Said Sho
"What ingredients?" asked Mob
"Just…uh…ingredients that are…ingredients! I don't know, you're the girl, not me!" said Sho. That was not his job, knowing about food and stuff. That was the kind of stuff that girls were good at. They had to know it because they were moms and moms were good at making food…he knew that his had been. Mom would have made him churros…she would have known what kind of ingredients went into churros…like…stuff! And things!
"You're right…I should know. Shibata would know…but I think that he's asleep…but I can ask him tomorrow." Said Mob
"Ask him right now!" said Sho
"I can't, Sho, it's in the middle of the night. He's probably asleep and if I wake him up then I'll be mean and stuff." Said Mob
"Just wake him up and tell him to come over here and make us a hundred churros and then a hundred popcorns and…and a desk of lollipops…and a bucket of blue Italian ice-" said Sho
"Sho! No! You're allergic to citrus! If you have citrus then you could die. You could die and then…and then I won't have a baby brother anymore. I won't have a baby brother to watch movies with….or to play with…or to hug…or to kiss….or to watch sleep-" said Mob
"You watch me sleep?" asked Sho. He sometimes got the feeling that he was being watched…big sis was so weird sometimes. Like….like she was the guy with chainsaws for arms and she was watching him so she could plan out how she was going to kill him and then she went back into the walls in the morning….but….wait…if she had chainsaws for arms then why did she need to watch him and plan her murder? And how did she fit in the walls? And how did nobody hear her if she was in the walls with her chainsaw arms?
Movies were weird.
"Sometimes." Said Mob
"Don't, it's weird." Said Sho. Mom used to do that. She used to watch them sleep when they were little. Before she left she watched him sleep….or maybe he dreamt it. Maybe he dreamt her saying that she would always love him and stuff. If she really would always love him then where was she? Big sis was more of a mom than she…he was being a dick hole's dick hole. He loved mom and…and dad had made her leave…so if he didn't have a dad anymore, like if he died or went to jail or got lost in space or something, then she'd come back…or something.
"But…I have to." Said Mob. She had to look at Sho to make sure that he was there. Sometimes she thought that he'd left….that he'd been gone off with Fukuda again…she loved him so much…when she used to be little and she used to be little then she would watch him sleep too…she remembered when she had been really little and Sho had been in his crib and she'd met him…or at least it had felt like it….and when she looked at him then she felt the same way….
She missed her little brother so much…even though he was right there.
"Why? Why would you want to watch someone sleep? Especially your own brother? It's weird. It's so weird and why would you want to be bored. Being bored is the most boring thing ever." Said Sho
"I love you, that's why I like to watch you sleep. Sometimes I like to look at you and I remember when we were little and we were friends." Said Mob
"We are friends, don't be dumb." Said Sho. He was never going to stop being friends with big sis. Even though she could be bossy a lot of the time, and even though she always sided with dad in the end, he would never stop being her friend. She had no idea how much he cared about her….but she didn't know about a lot of stuff….but that was ok. She didn't need to know everything.
"We used to be better friends. We used to play together all the time…but maybe because we didn't have any other friends…things were a lot simpler before we had friends. Nobody ever tried to kiss us." Said Mob. She used to want, before she had even been kissed, to kiss a boy. She would stare at this one boy in her class…she couldn't remember his name….but she had liked him a lot. She used to stare at him and imagine him taking her hand and kissing her, but on the cheek because she had still been too little to think about…the kind of stuff that she thought about now….
Stuff that she should not have thought about.
Her brain was so weird. She thought about Teru a lot and…and about a lot of other stuff….other boys. Ones from anime or from manga…or boys she saw out in the world…or just Teru…sometimes Shimazaki snuck into her thoughts sometimes. She didn't know why. She didn't like him….things were so weird. Things were really weird and she had no idea how to make them normal…but maybe they were back to normal and she was making them weird…
It was weird to think about this while she was watching a haunted house movie with her little brother.
"We're hanging out right now! Seriously, you're so weird sometimes. You're like…you're like dad but a girl…and your eyebrows aren't weird." Said Sho. Big sis grabbed her eyebrows with both hands….Sho couldn't help but laugh.
"They aren't going to morph into dad's eyebrows. You're not a shapeshifter…I don't think that it's even a real power." Said Sho
"I never met a shapeshifter before but there are weirder powers." Said Mob
"Yeah, like that guy that turns things blue." Said Sho
"Or the other guy that can only control scarecrows." Said Mob
"Or-or-or what about that guy that can only talk through his dummy….fuck that creepy shit." Said Sho
"Sho! Don't…don't say bad words…it's not good. I like it when you say nice things…and drink your soda. I can tell that you're thirsty. You're doing that tongue thing." Said Mob. She handed him the soda bottle. She watched him…but he didn't drink from the bottle. He just frowned…there was something sad about her own little brother frowning like that.
"I can say whatever I want. I get it from dad, I get it from Fukuda, I get it from Tsuchiya, but I don't need it from you….dad's gone….don't pretend like he's here." Said Sho. The house was a lot bigger without dad in it…but big sis was trying her best to make it feel all small and stuff. His aura was gone and he was gone…so why did she want to act like he was there? Why couldn't she just be happy? Maybe because…maybe because she had always liked him best….and dad had always liked her best…and there just hadn't been any room at all left over for Sho….not with mom gone…and not with….with how things were now.
"I-I'm not. I just don't like it when you say stuff like that. You're too little." Said Mob
"I'm a year younger than you….I mean for a little bit. It's almost that part of the year when we're the same age….it's almost my birthday…and dad's gone. It's going to be good one." said Sho
"I'll make sure he comes back from his mission before your birthday. Don't worry." Said Mob
"No! No way! I'd rather stay eleven forever than have DAD at my birthday." Said Sho
"But…he never comes to our birthday parties. He doesn't like parties and-" said Mob
"He doesn't like me." Said Sho. Big sis didn't look like she had anything to say to that. Good. There was no reason for her not to agree with him. She'd known dad for even longer than he had. She knew that dad didn't like him and…and he didn't like dad either! He didn't like dad and he didn't need dad. He had friends and…and he had Fukuda, he was kind of like a dad, and he had himself and big sis. He had a lot of people and he didn't need a dad and…and dad needed him a hell of a lot more than he needed dad!
"…I can still make him come home." Said Mob. She knew that dad didn't like Sho. She didn't like it but she couldn't control what went on in people's hearts. You were always supposed to love all of your kids, Mob thought, but dad…was dad. If she ever grew up and had babies, only or at least mostly girls, she would make sure that the boy she had her kids with liked all of her kids. If he didn't then he could leave…not that Shimazaki would leave since he really liked babies and kids….not that she wanted to have any kids at all with Shimazaki…but he liked her and….and she was twelve. She'd worry about this when she was older. When it was her birthday. She had to worry about Sho's now.
"No. I don't want him to come home. I hope that he never comes home. I hope that he dies." Said Sho
"You know you shouldn't say things like that, little brother." Said Mob
"I can say whatever I want, Shigeko, now give me back the pen." Said Sho
"I…I can't give you this, I think that you're too high and…and I have to worry about you." Said Mob
"Shigeko! That's bullshit! We're almost the same age and…and I hate it when you tell me what to do. I don't need you to look out for me. I'm almost twelve!" said Sho
"But if I don't look out for you then who will?" asked Mob. Sho didn't say anything, he just held out his hand. She handed it back to him. She loved him, she wanted him to be happy, and…and she also wanted to look out for him. He was still way too thirsty and he was getting to be way too high and if he got way too high he'd be stoned and then he would get upset, like he always did, and he would cry, like he always did when he got too stoned.
"…I don't know." Said Sho. Fukuda looked out for him but Fukuda treated him even more like a baby than big sis did. Fukuda never let him smoke, for one thing, and it was also…a lot of other things. Fukuda still put all of his food on his old Zootopia plate…and he still only wanted to watch Disney movies…and he still…well he did a lot of things that he used to do for Sho when Sho was a little kid. He wasn't a little kid anymore…but…but it was still nice to have people who cared about him but….but he didn't need…
He needed big sis. He loved big sis. He wasn't a baby but he loved big sis.
"But I don't need anyone to look out for me! I'm not a baby and I don't need-" said Sho
"Please don't say that! Please don't say that you don't need anyone. Dad says that, he thinks like that, and…and I don't want you to ever end up like dad." Said Mob
"I…I don't want to end up like him either. Fuck dad." Said Sho. He waited for her to say anything but she didn't. She just took the pen back from him.
"Did you hear me? I said 'fuck dad'." Said Sho
"I know. I heard you. You said f-word dad." Said Mob. Sho didn't want to hear it from her so she wouldn't say a word. She would just let him say whatever he wanted to say. They were about the same age, now, and…and she didn't want to lose him. She knew that he was big enough to leave on his own, he'd done it before when he'd gone to see his boyfriend, and…and she knew how big the world could be. She knew that she could have lost her little brother…that he could have left…that he could have just disappeared into the world and she'd never be able to find him. That was the last thing that she ever would have wanted.
"Yeah, fuck him. Fuck him and fuck everything he says and does and…and fuck Claw, too." Said Sho
"Sho…you know I can't let you say that." Said Mob. Traitor talk. That was traitor talk. Dad minded the cursing but he never hurt anyone for cursing. Traitors….she knew what her dad did to traitors. She knew how he…how he punished them…and she knew that she would rather have died than let her brother….then let her little brother get punished like that. It didn't even make sense. Why would he say something as bad as 'f-word Claw'?
Claw was a good thing.
Sure Claw could sometimes do bad things. Dad…he wasn't really that nice…and that came out in all of Claw. He hit people, he banished people, and sometimes he even killed people. That was…the bad part of Claw…but they were doing good work. They were bringing the entire world together, espers and normal people, so nobody would have to hide anymore. Everyone in the world would be friends. Everyone in the whole world would work together to make it better and dad would be king of the world. Dad…he was kind of mean sometimes….and he would maybe take it out on the world but he wouldn't be king of the world for long. Sho would be king of the world when dad got too old or died and she knew that Sho would be the best king of the world who ever lived. He would be so nice to everyone and make everyone happy and…and….and he would have done all the things that she would have done if she hadn't been born a girl….not that she wanted to rule the world.
She just wanted everyone to be happy, that was all.
"What? I said a lot of shit. You have to be specific. I'm not going to be like one of those mimes that takes a vow of silence. I don't even like mimes. They're not funny, they're creepy, and anyone who thinks that mimes are funny is crazy and stupid and crazy stupid." Said Sho
"I think that's monks, Sho." said Mob
"No, I'm pretty sure it's mimes. I've heard monks talk before but I've never once heard a mime talk." Said Sho
"How many mimes have you seen?" asked Mob
"How many monks have you seen?" asked Sho
"Not that many…but I still think that it's monks." Said Mob
"Well I think that it's mimes." Said Sho
"Um…ok. I agree with you." Said Mob. She still thought that it was monks but she just wanted her little brother to be happy and if that meant agreeing with him even when he was wrong then that was how it was going to be.
"Good. You should…and you should agree with me when I say fuck Claw, too." Said Sho
"Sho….no. That's traitor talk. If dad heard you-" said Mob
"Dad isn't home! What are you so scared of? He's not here and he can't hear us! I mean Hatori could maybe hear us if he was listening through our phones but…but still! Fuck Claw! Fuck all of this! I don't care if I sound like a traitor. What's dad going to do? Put me in a traitor hole? What's he going to do then? He doesn't have any other sons!" said Sho
"I…I don't think that we should test that…" said Mob. When she had been little she used to think that people got married, kissed a lot, and then babies started to grow in their mom's stomachs. She knew better now. You didn't need to be married to have another kid. She and Mukai didn't even have the same mom anyway. If dad had made Mukai with some lady then there would be others. Girls, adult girls, women! Ladies. They would come up to dad trying to look pretty and stuff so he'd like them and then they would try to be her new mom and…and she didn't want a new mom and she didn't want another brother or sister either. That was what adults did when they fell in love. They had babies and…and she didn't want another baby to take care of.
Especially not a boy baby.
She wanted a little sister, if she had to have another sibling she would have liked a little sister, but Minegishi said that it was a 50/50 chance that you got a boy or a girl when you did…things like that. She didn't want a little brother. Boys were too hard to take care of. They were messier and they fought you and they never listened and also the clothes that you could put on a boy baby weren't as cute as the clothes that you could put on a girl baby…but that wasn't the point. If she had a new little brother to take care of then the hard work would be the least of her problems. If she had a brother then that would mean that Sho had a brother and if he had brother then…then dad would have another son and…and if dad had another son then he wouldn't need Sho at all anymore.
She couldn't let that happen…she had no idea what she would do to stop this from happening…but she knew that she had to do something.
"Well…well maybe we should! We've been scared of him for our entire lives-" said Sho
"I'm not scared of him." said Mob
"Well, yeah, he likes you…and he likes Mukai…and I think that he likes Emmy too. Maybe he just likes girls…maybe he would have liked me better if I had been born a girl. Like…like maybe he wouldn't have spent my whole life looking at me like I'm…like I'm Sho gum. Like I'm not even…but then I would have had to have been born a girl and I don't want to be a girl. I don't want to wear dresses and makeup and pinchy shoes and I don't want to have to do all the chores and I don't want to read manga that's nothing but people falling in love and I don't want to kiss…well I do want to kiss boys but…but just this one guy. Well…no, just…just him. He's so great. He's so smart and brave and he smells good-" said Sho
"Are you in love with Shimazaki again? Because if you are then….then maybe you should meet some other boys." Said Mob. She didn't want to have to tell Sho what happened, she didn't want to break his heart, but she didn't want him to spend his whole life in love with someone who could never love him back…someone who was in love with his sister….
"I'm not talking about him….I'm not in love with him anymore. He's scared of dad and…and I could never be in love with someone who was scared of dad." Said Sho
"Oh….ok. So then you were talking about that other boy? The one who kissed you…a lot?" asked Mob
"Yeah. His name's Ritsu…but don't tell dad! And he's an esper…but don't tell dad that either! Just…just keep it to yourself." Said Sho. He wanted to tell her about Ritsu. He wanted to tell everyone about Ritsu. He wanted to climb up on top of the roof and tell the whole world that he was in love with Kageyama Ritsu!
"Ritsu?" asked Mob. She knew that name. That was…well there were a lot of people named Ritsu. Ritsu and Ritsuko and Ritsuki and…and it was a very popular name. So was Shigeko and so was Sho and…and not really Mukai…and Minegishi was the only Toshiki she had ever met…but Ryou was a pretty popular name and so was Hiroshi….she had never met another Nozomu or Tsuchiya before…and she had heard the name Katsuya before but not spelled the way Serizawa spelled it and…and…and Ritsu was a really popular name and…and she shouldn't have felt weird hearing it.
That name had always given her a weird feeling.
Well…ever since the time she and Shimazaki took acid together back when they were just friends. That was the name of the imaginary brother that her brain had come up with while she was no acid because she really missed her real brother. Minegishi said that acid was something that was good for looking inside of yourself to see what you really wanted and what was really in there, too. You didn't always find good things there, sometimes you found bad memories and bad feelings, and that was why they didn't want her to take acid without them to take care of her. She knew what they meant. It hadn't been bad…not like a nightmare….more like sad. Sad and lonely…those were the feelings that she had gotten when she thought of her imaginary brother named Ritsu….
But she didn't have to feel that way anymore because she didn't have to imagine a new little brother. She had a little brother, his name was Sho, and he was sitting right there picking his nose and flicking the boogers onto the couch.
"Yeah…that's his name. He's…he's so cool! Like, ok, he got kidnapped and I let him go…but don't tell dad…and….and he's still going after dad! Claw, claw, he's going after Claw. He's not scared at all. Like…like most people would have been pissing their pants but Ritsu just got pissed off. He's so cool and brave and….and he's got really soft hair and….and actually he looks a lot like you and it's kind of weird. Like, I can't kiss him with my eyes opened which isn't good because I like keeping my eyes opened-" said Sho
"Little brother! I don't need to know about that!" said Mob. She loved her brother and she loved that he found love but…but she did NOT need to know about how he liked kissing his boyfriend…boy he liked to kiss. She did not need to know about how he kept his eyes opened…and that was kind of weird. Close faces looked weird. She didn't like keeping her eyes opened when she kissed…when she kissed Teru. She liked keeping her eyes closed when she kissed Shimazaki. That way she could imagine that she was kissing Teru or someone else, even someone who she had imagined, even an imaginary boy was better than Shimazaki….
But Sho didn't need to know about how she liked to kiss boys or…or which boys that she kissed….or even that she was kissing anyone at all! That was not the kind of thing you talked about with your little brother!
"Well someone needs to know and you're the only person who I trust right now. You…you won't tell dad, right? If you tell him then dad'll have him kidnapped again and next time…next time I might not be there to save him." said Sho
"I won't tell him about anything. I know….I know how he can be…to other people and to you. I know that he'll be mad if he finds out that you…that you saved someone….but I'm proud of you. You did the right thing…and I know how hard it can be." Said Mob
"What do you know? You'd never betray dad." Said Sho
"I…kind of did…but don't tell dad!" said Mob. The whole couch shook as Sho leaned in really close. She tried to pass him the pen, that must have been what he wanted, but it wasn't.
"You never lie." Said Sho. Big sis….she'd betrayed dad? When? How? Why? What was…what if she'd been replaced?! What if an evil plant had replaced her with an alien and then he would be next? He wouldn't have put something like that past Minegishi and they were, like, a person who was made of plants or….or something….people couldn't be made of plants because then eating vegetables would be cannibalism and-hey, yeah, ok, people could be made out of plants.
"I don't like to lie….and I'm not lying now." Said Mob. She didn't…it wasn't like she NEVER lied. She had been doing a lot of lying lately. She had to. Her choices were to either lie to Shimazaki that she was busy or tell the truth and risk him trying to kiss her. Neither option was good but she really would have rather been a liar than…than someone who kissed Shimazaki. His girlfriend or…or person he liked to kiss or…or whatever he wanted to be with Mob. Minegishi said that it was ok but…but she wasn't…she wasn't Minegishi and she had her own feelings and…and she knew that her feelings didn't matter, they never mattered, but she could maybe act like they did. Kissing Shimazaki…it just…it was weird! Good and bad and…and just….it wasn't something that she wanted to do!
"I know you're not lying now, that's why I say that you never lie. So either you're telling the truth or you've been replaced by a pod person version of you." Said Sho
"I'm not a pod person." Said Mob. She wasn't sure if she knew what a pod person was but she knew that she wasn't was one. She knew how to be herself so therefore she was a person and…and wait, if she didn't know what a pod person was then how did she know that she wasn't one? Or….or maybe…maybe she was something else entirely? Dad had told her that when he was a kid he used to think that he was an alien but there weren't any aliens because if dad couldn't survive the trip even to the star closest to the sun then aliens couldn't either…so ok, she wasn't a pod person because she kind of knew that movie and she knew it had to do with aliens.
It was good that she'd sorted that out.
"Then….then you really betrayed dad?! Like, you tried to kill him or-" said Sho
"No, no, no! I would never try and kill dad. I just…I did the same thing that you did." Said Mob. She looked down, she couldn't look at her brother while she said this. She couldn't believe that she was telling her brother about this…but….but it wasn't like she was saying that she did anything that was…anything. She had just kissed him when she was nine. She was twelve now and she'd done much worse than kiss the most wonderful boy in the whole world.
"You put a red shirt in with dad's white undershirts?" asked Sho. That had been a good idea at the time…but then big sis had to go and get dad new shirts. He almost had dad wearing pink! If it weren't for big sis…well that was just the way she was. She was always looking out for people and stuff like that…even their dad.
"No…and you said that Mukai did that." Said Mob. That hadn't been fun. She'd had to go and get dad all new undershirts and cut the tags out and replace them in his drawers before he noticed.
"She helped." Said Sho. She had been the one to put the shirt in the wash. She liked putting stuff in the washing machine so that made her just as guilty as him or maybe even more guilty. Sho had just been doing what he'd had to do to make dad's life worse. Mukai had actually enjoyed it…and also big sis wouldn't be mad at Mukai because she was little.
"Well…I've never done that and please don't do that again." said Mob. That was…a thing that Sho had done…but it hadn't been all bad. She'd been busy for a while, and with something that Shimazaki couldn't have helped with even if she had just been making stuff up. Shimazaki didn't know what color was…it was great! Well, no, actually that was a mean thought to have…but she'd managed to have a whole day to herself without someone trying to kiss her or be near her or….or other boyfriend things that she did not want to do with her best friend's boyfriend. The only boyfriend, the only person she wanted to be her boyfriend, was Teru…but she was never going to see him again and also he was probably already someone else's boyfriend since he was so great.
"Fine….but what'd you do to dad? You could probably really fuck with him if you wanted to. He loves you." Said Sho
"I didn't do anything to f-word with him. I just…someone got kidnapped and then I saved him…um…do you remember back when we were staying at the Seventh Division and the prisoner escaped?" asked Mob
"Yeah, and dad made everyone line up so he could yell at them." Said Sho. That had been kind of funny. Everyone was all freaked out and dad was all tantrum-y like Mukai got when she couldn't find her phone or her mom tried to make her nap or something. Dad was such a baby sometimes, even more of a baby than Mukai and she was barely even a little kid.
"That was me. I was the one who let him go-but not to f-word with dad! He just…he got kidnapped accidentally and he cried and he'd wet himself too and I couldn't just let him be kidnapped so…so I let him go. I showed him the way out and then he escaped and then…and then back when we were in Berlin….um…well you were at the Seventh Division with Fukuda-" said Mob
"Hey! You said that you weren't mad at me about that anymore!" said Sho
"I'm not mad at you at all about that. You were only doing what Fukuda told you was right. You said that you were sorry and now we have Mukai back in our family so it all worked out." Said Mob
"Well then why did you bring it up?" asked Sho
"To tell you what happened. While I was in Germany and you were in Japan I met Teru again, that was his name, and then I warned him that we were looking for him and then I told him where to go so nobody would ever look for him-and that's all we did!" said Mob. Her brother didn't need to know about what she and Teru had done. If he had been a girl then maybe she would have told him.
"Wait…." Said Sho. That was familiar….Ritus's friend! The cute blond guy who smelled like a girl and complained about everything, sort of like if Fukuda and a blond lady had a kid. Sho knew his story! He was a kidnapped…person…person who had been kidnapped? Person who'd been kidnapped…he'd been kidnapped too!
"What are we waiting for?" asked Mob. She looked around. She was waiting…maybe she was waiting for Sho to tell her what she was waiting for…but then what was he waiting for? What were they all waiting for? Waiting to live? Waiting to die? Waiting in the waiting place? That was a place where everyone waited, it was one of the places you'd go. That was a book. Mom had read it to her and Sho…and now she read it to Mukai. There were a lot of places that you could go but maybe if you stayed in the waiting place for too long then that would be the only place you'd go…like it was the end of the line and…and then you waited forever like…like when you got to your birthday and when the cake was put away and the presents were opened you just…you had nothing else to do but wait for your next birthday…
So much waiting.
"Well I've been waiting for you to pass it back but that's not it. This Teru guy…is he blond? And does he smell like a girl? And complain about dumb shit?" asked Sho
"Um….he's blond and he smells…normal? Kind of like grass and shampoo and…um….that's all I have to say….and…um…" said Mob
"I think I know who you're talking about! Yeah, he's friends with Ritsu. I've met him, he's-" said Sho
"Where is he? Is he ok? Did they get him again? Does he miss me? Did he say anything about me? Did he-" said Mob. She grabbed Sho by the arms and with her powers, too. Only using one of those would have been rude so using both was double rude…she stopped. She let him go. She had to be nice to her little brother…even though….what did he DO during the day!? What the…how did he know…why did he….he knew Teru!
"Hey, get off! He's fine. He's friends with Ritsu and…wait…your boyfriend is friends with my boyfriend…this is…I don't know if this is cool or weird." Said Sho. No way. This was…well there weren't a lot of espers in the world so the odds were good, he figured but…wow…wait…he knew what guys were like! He knew how guys talked about girls and…and he knew what he was like. He had a girl who loved him and he was cheating on her…so this guy was probably cheating on big sis…and this guy was probably going to break her heart…so Sho had to break him, first, into a million little pieces!
"I….I don't know either…but…but it might not be the same Teru-" said Mob. There had to have been other Teru's, right? People were allowed to have the same name as other people. Sometimes it could be confusing…like now. When Claw took over the world she was asking dad to make a law where nobody could ever repeat a name. That way when someone said a name then you would know automatically who it was that was being talked about.
"How many blond espers named Teru do you think that there are in the world?" asked Sho. Big sis could be so dumb sometimes. Like how he was Sho but so were lots of people.
"Um…maybe a few? I know that a lot of people are called Sho but that doesn't mean that every single person named Sho is my little brother, I only have one…and I hope that I only ever have one." said Mob
"Yeah, same, but with sisters instead of brothers…anyway! No, I'm the only red haired Sho in the world and blond Teru is probably the only blond Teru in the world so, therefore, my boyfriend is friends with your boyfriend…and you should be careful. He's probably cheating on you with, like, a million different girls-" said Sho
"Sho! Don't!" said Mob. She didn't know what was more upsetting. The fact that Teru was so close but so far away or the fact that Sho had just told her all of that stuff. She…she knew that there were a lot of other girls out there. She knew that Teru was really good looking and he was a good kisser and really nice…he did probably have a lot of other girls who liked him. She was just…even if she had been there with him, like if she lived right next door to him, then he still wouldn't have been her boyfriend. She was…she was herself…she wasn't pretty.
Even though Shimazaki said that she was.
Shimazaki had told her, before, a bunch of times before, that she was pretty. He said that she had a cute face and nice breasts and long legs and the third cutest butt he'd ever seen…she wasn't sure if it would have been polite or not to tell him that only sensed the way she looked. He was probably wrong. She knew that she wasn't pretty. Minori was pretty. Mob was just a really tall first grader, Minori had said so. She wasn't pretty no matter what she did so it made sense that Teru wouldn't have liked her…and also of course he was out there kissing other people….and it wasn't like she wasn't kissing other people too. She was kissing Shimazaki, she didn't want to but she was, and that was just as bad as….well not even bad since she and Teru weren't even boyfriend and girlfriend….
Her heart hurt…and not just because it was beating too fast.
"What? I know how guys are. I'm a guy." Said Sho. He was a guy and…and maybe guys sucked. He always heard people, girls, saying that in movies and stuff. Sho didn't mean to suck but he did. He didn't know what to do, no matter what he did he was just going to keep on sucking, so he just…did nothing. He sucked and he tried not to….and it wasn't just him! Mukai was here because dad sucked too…so maybe it was just the bloodline or whatever…but Fukuda sucked too….maybe the whole world was just cut down the middle, people who sucked on one side and people who didn't on the other…that would have made sense but then…but then that had to have been millions and billions and trillions of people who sucked! What…what even was the point then….
"I just…I don't want to think about that and…and we never said that we were boyfriend and girlfriend and….and I don't like to think about him anyway!" said Mob. She could see Sho's aura, now, it was brighter than ever…and he was giving her a look that she'd never seen before. She assumed that he was just as mad as his aura looked but she had no idea what he even had to be mad at.
"Why not? What'd he do to you?" asked Sho. He knew how some guys, not him, could be. He knew how big sis was. She didn't like hurting people even though she could have been really good at it. She was a Suzuki and he got the feeling that Suzuki's were just really good at hurting people. Dad was good at hurting people…and Sho was good at hurting people too not that he liked to do it. She could have really kicked ass, though, if she had been nicer than she was now. She wasn't like that…so if some guy ever tried to kiss her and stuff….not only girls could play catch and kiss…
If some guy tried to play catch and kiss with his sister then, of course, Sho would have had no choice but to kill him.
"I-I-I why do you need to know!?" asked Mob. No. She was not telling her little brother about the time she got kissed and felt up in a park. They were brother and sister and…and they were friends too…but sisters and brothers did not know these things about one another. That was just….no way!
"Because if some guy tried to make you kiss him then-" said Sho
"He didn't make me. I wanted…I want to to…um…do you have any pictures of your boyfriend? I'd like to see them and…and anything else that you've been drawing lately." Said Mob
"Don't try and change the subject, you're bad at it, big sis." Said Sho
"I…I know…" said Mob
"And…and I guess that if you wanted to kiss him then I won't go back to Seasoning City and I won't beat him up…"said Sho. He wondered if there was a way to get really specific amnesia. Not the normal kind that people on TV were always getting where you couldn't remember your own name and stuff. Maybe if he poked his brain in just the right spot then he would be able to forget that his sister had kissed a guy. That was just…that was so wrong! She couldn't be just…going out and…and kissing guys! She couldn't do that! HE kissed guys…one guy….and they couldn't both do that and…and that was just…that was such a gross thought to have and now he had it in his head and now he had no choice but to dig it out with one of Shibata's knitting needles.
"Please don't go back to Seasoning City to beat Teru up…or at all. Last time you snuck off to there…well you know what happened. You were there." said Mob. Teru was that close…she knew that he was…but now she KNEW. She knew where he was and…and she could have gone to see him. She could have just said that she had to see if the Seventh Division was still being built…and when the building was done being built then she could have made up some reason why she needed to be there….wait, why were they called buildings if they'd already been built? That didn't make any sense…but a lot of stuff in life didn't make sense so not making sense was actually the way that the world made the most sense.
"It's not like dad can tell me that I'm not allowed to be gay. I don't care if he tries to tell me again. I can't help it and even if I could I wouldn't have. Dad doesn't get to tell me who I can and can't fall in love with. I don't give a fuck about the bloodline or Claw or his legacy or whatever. I don't care if I wake up tomorrow and there's no more Claw at all." said Sho
"Sho! Yes you do! Claw…Claw does good things…even if sometimes we have to do bad things to do good things…and even if we make mistakes sometimes like…like when we kidnap people…we shouldn't do that but we especially shouldn't kidnap kids from their families….and…and I don't want you to go back to Seasoning City. It's dangerous. Dad could send people after you or he could follow you and then Teru would get found out….and so would you and your boyfriend." Said Mob
"I'm not scared of dad." Said Sho
"But I am so…so please. Just listen to me." Said Mob
"Why are you scared of dad? He's dad. He loves you. He doesn't even like me but he loves you." Said Sho
"I'm not scared of what he'll do to me…I'm scared about other people. That means you and…and your boyfriend and his friend…and Teru…and….and it would be better for them if we just stayed here." Said Mob
"I don't care what dad wants or thinks or feels or…or anything. I'm going to keep on seeing Ritsu and there's nothing that you can do to stop me…and maybe you can…you can come with me. You can come with me and you can see the guy who you like and then-" said Sho
"Sho, I can't. I've thought about it and I can't. I can't and…and I want you to be safe. I love you and I don't want anything bad to happen to you…I love you." Said Mob. She took Sho's hand in hers. He pulled it away. He pulled his hand away from hers like she was made of fire…but then he put it back. At first she thought that he had just been reaching for the pen again but he hadn't been.
He didn't take the pen.
He just took her hand. He took her hand and sighed. She didn't know what she was supposed to do now. She knew Sho. She knew her little brother and she knew that the minute she took her hand away Sho would go back to his own…place…he would go back to himself. He could and would do whatever he wanted to do. The minute she turned her head he would be back on the train to Seasoning City where she couldn't protect him…where she couldn't keep him safe from all the terrible things that could happen to him.
She didn't let go of his hand.
She pulled him close and hugged him. He was so big now…but she was still bigger. Even though for some parts of the year they were the same age she was always going to be the big sister. Five months may not have been a long time but…but it was still time. She was older and she was wiser, because older people were always wiser, and she had to protect him…even though…even though he was getting older and he wasn't little and…and she…she….
No matter how much danger he put himself in she would always be there to save him…and if she wasn't right where he was then she would find him.
"I love you so much, little brother." Said Mob as she hugged Sho close.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love you too, Shigeko." said Sho as he patted her on the back. She was so weird sometimes. He knew that no matter what happened he would be fine. Dad only cared about Claw and without a son to leave it to then the whole thing was pointless. Sho didn't give a fuck about Claw, he didn't care if the whole thing fell apart tomorrow, he just cared about the people he loved….all the people he loved and in all the different ways that he loved them…and that included big sis.
"Please….don't go anywhere….please just stay here, with me." Said Mob
"Yeah, sure, whatever you want." Said Sho as he stayed in what had to have been the world's longest hug. Big sis may not have been able to lie but Sho could. Sho was a liar…but he had done worse things in his lie than tell lies. He was going back to Seasoning City, the first chance he got, the next time dad went on a long away mission. He hadn't said anything, he had just left one day, and…and Sho would watch him and read the signs and then he was going back. He was scared of dad but big sis was….and the last thing that he wanted to do was scare her.
He may have been in love with Ritsu but he loved big sis and sisters were more important than boyfriends.
"Ok….um…can we watch something else? I haven't been paying attention to this and, um, also that's not even how exorcisms work." Said Mob as she pointed to the TV. There wasn't any praying and stuff in exorcisms, you just sort of…broke a spirit apart and stuff and…and she didn't feel like watching a scary movie. She missed when Sho liked the same stuff she liked….well they had never liked the exact same things but they had more in common back when they had been little…
But they weren't little anymore.
They were big enough to be in love with people and…and to betray people. They'd both betrayed dad…they'd betrayed Claw…and she'd betrayed her brother. She had kissed the first boy that he had ever loved and…and she just…she didn't want to have betrayed him. She loved her brother so much and…and…and she just….she missed when they used to watch Zootopia! And that was what she wanted to do right now….
But he didn't want to watch Zooptopia.
He picked another scary movie. She didn't say anything. She just wanted him to be happy. What could have been better than her little brother being happy? Well her own happiness…no. That didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was how happy her little brother was…and he was happy now. He found a movie he liked, one that would keep them from talking about any complicated stuff, one that…she was sure that she was going to like…or at least try to like….even though this one didn't look any more realistic than the last one.
"They're coming to get you, Shigeko."