Fun fact: For the five Tributes left, Alysanne is the only one Hypatia Satrapi predicted would be alive.

Other fun fact: in flower language black-eyed Susans stand for justice

Oaken Mushroom- District Seven male (17)

There were three people left with me and Clair. There were three people, then, that I was theoretically preparing myself to kill. Because I would kill any of them. Instincts die hard even if they're not fair. No matter what Clair said about equality, I would always want to protect her. It wasn't even because she was a girl. The fact that Lacey and Alysanne were among those I was willing to kill proved that. It was because she was my family. I would have done the same for a brother if they happened to be not as strong as me. That was it in the end. I had never thought of strength as an advantage. Strength, to me, was a responsibility. Strong people are obligated to protect those that aren't strong. The stronger you are, the greater the obligation. And Clair was my sister so my obligation to her was infinite.

I would kill to keep Clair alive. I would also kill to keep her sane. If I killed someone it would break my heart. If Clair killed someone it would harden hers. Loving someone doesn't mean they make you happy and you enjoy being with them. To love someone is to want what is best for them. Clair's life rested on this Games and her soul did as well. I would die before my inaction let her turn into something bent and cruel. And if, in order to stop that darkness from taking hold of her, I had to take it myself and carry the guilt with me as long as I lived, I would do that. I loved Clair more than I loved my peace of mind.

I didn't know who to thank that all the younger Tributes were gone but I thanked them dearly. Flint wasn't a bad person for what he'd had to do but it made it easier to rationalize away the guilt if I ended up killing him. Alysanne never wanted this life but at least she was strong enough that I could tell myself it was self-defense. But Lacey... Lacey was the one that weighed on me. Lacey was a completely innocent, completely normal girl. In her interview she mentioned she took care of her little sister. What would become of her if Lacey didn't come home? Killing Lacey wasn't eliminating a hit man or a martial arts expert. It was destroying two innocent lives at once.

I'm too young for this. Two weeks ago I was thinking about a pocketknife I wanted to buy with my fur money and daydreaming about girls I wanted to impress. People talk about "becoming a man". They mean getting their first job or moving out or losing their virginity. It was always about gaining something- whether independence or freedom or maturity. I became a man somewhere after I came to the Arena. I hadn't gained anything at all, though. I'd only lost something. I became a man not because I reached adulthood but because childhood was stolen from me and there was nowhere else to go.

Lacey Weaver- District Eight female (18)

Being with Alysanne made me feel young again. It seemed like a silly thing to think. Alysanne was disciplined and mature. She was also way taller than I was, making me look like her little sister instead of the other way around. But she also had a silly side that came out more with every day we spent together. Despite how put-together she had her life Alysanne was still a teenager. I heard it in the tones she used when she talked and how she sometimes used cool slang that made me feel like an old maid. I'd gone years in a parenting role and I'd forgotten what it was like to be a normal kid. Alysanne had a caregiver and a support system that gave her the opportunity to mature at a normal pace.

"I never got to eat like this when I was training," Alysanne said as we ate cookies plundered from another vending machine she'd broken with an expert twirling kick. "It was worth it to be healthy and all but I'm really loving this cheat week, to be honest."

"Back home Via and I ate spaghetti pretty much every day," I said.

"I ate a ton of noodles, especially on carb-loading days," Alysanne said excitedly. "I love noodles."

"I like spaghetti but probably my favorite food in the world is cherry pie," I said. Some of the vending machines had mini pies but all I'd seen so far was apple.

"I love pie!" Alysanne said. "I like banana cream pie the most but I'll eat just about any pie. Except triple berry because I'm allergic to raspberries. Found that out the hard way."

"They had the best food in the Capitol," I said wistfully, thinking back to all the bizarre and amazing things I'd tried.

Alysanne nodded. "The clothes, too. Not really my style, most of them anyway, but I saw some stuff I liked. You must have lots of clothes like that in Eight."

"Kind of," I said with a shrug. "I never got to wear them or anything. Most of us just worked in factories putting the fabric together. I never saw an actual dress get made."

"Oh, that's too bad," Alysanne said.

"I wouldn't have been able to afford them anyway," I said, the realized how depressing it sounded. "Oh well. Can't have everything."

"Some people sure can," Alysanne sniffed. "But that's all I should say about that."

I wasn't as downbeat as I'd accidentally sounded. It was nice just being with someone my age and having plenty of food if we went out and found it. It was almost a vacation being in the Arena. I didn't have to worry about work or bills or keeping a roof over our heads. The future faded from my mind and all I had to worry about was each day as it came. It kind of made me want to suggest something silly like playing truth or dare and Alysanne was so fun I kind of thought she'd go for it.

And none of it will last. It never left my mind. In a few more days one person would leave this Arena. If it was me, Alysanne would be dead, our friendship born and killed in less than a fortnight. If it was someone else, my reborn childhood would last the rest of my life and Via would become the same thing I had become for her.

Clair Mushroom- District Seven female (17)

If got home Juniper wouldn't remember me. I found her when she was just a hatchling. She'd fallen from a nest far too high for me to return her and I'd convinced my parents I had to save her. She was full-grown now and she liked to soar in the treetops above me while I watched from below and wished I could be with her. But no matter how much I cared for her, she was still a wild animal. Her life was ruled by instincts and immutable laws she couldn't overcome. In a few weeks she would forget all about me. Nature doesn't care about feelings.

I'm not sure I'll remember me either. Right now it was more likely than not that a hawk with a lifespan a quarter of a human's would outlive me. But if I did manage to come home I would still be a different person than the one who left her behind. Almost certainly I would have killed someone. Even if I hadn't I would still ache under the knowledge that my life came only at the cost of twenty-three others. I saw more of our world than most Panemians ever would. I'd traveled places and learned things and I couldn't go back to what I was.

Before I was Reaped I'd never known what the Games were. I'd thought of them only as a punishment and a display of power by killing twenty-three children a year. I saw now that the display of power was much more the intent than the punishment. And it wasn't about the ones they killed. It was about the one that lived. The Capitol wanted everyone to see that ending a life wasn't the most insidious thing they could do. They also knew some people would be able to withstand them, so they took those people and bent them into something damaged and frail. The dead ones were gone but the Victors were examples for the rest of their lives.

Oaken had been thinking the same thing. I could see it in the heavy way he walked. The corners of his eyes had the same weary crinkle our father got when he read something in the news that reminded him of what our futures were in this country. We came into the Arena talking about how we'd stay together and no one better mess with us and we knew it wasn't true but it made the first step into the Games bearable. Every day it was harder to look at my brother and know I might not have him by nightfall.

One of us was going to die soon. Everyone wanted an uplifting story about how the siblings loved each other to the end and brought each other through the trials. That wasn't going to happen for us. We'd never talked about the finale of the Games because we knew there wouldn't be one for us. We didn't have that kind of good fortune. If we did we wouldn't have gotten Reaped. There might be a finale for him or for me but there wasn't one for us.

Timeline: day 18