The bed didn't smell like Masami anymore.

Really, he didn't know what he had been expecting. She had been gone for years, six years at this point, so of course the bed would have stopped smelling like her. Like a mixture of berries and perfume and that scent that could only be described as 'Masami'. The only thing this bed smelled like was dust. The only thing that this house smelled like was dust. It made perfect sense, of course, since dust had been the only thing allowed to settle in this house.

The only thing that could live in this house was dust.

Fukuda rolled over onto his back. A cloud of dust rose from the mattress as his body hit it. He had no idea where it was the dust dissipated off to. He would have gone with it if he could. Just dissipated off into the air, away from everything. Away from the weight of the world. Away from the weight of his life. Just…away.

A crash.

Of course it wouldn't be that simple. He wouldn't be able to just close his eyes and dissipate off into the air. He wasn't made of dust, for one thing, he weighed a hell of a lot more than dead dust mites. He was a grown man and he couldn't just disappear, into the air or otherwise. He couldn't just disappear from his life no matter how badly he wanted to. He pulled himself up. The room was a lot bigger these days. If it had been….it this had been six years ago then she would have been beside him. Masami. She would have been curled up onto her side of the bed, her knees drawn up to her chest. She would have pulled the blanket up over her head at the first appearance of sunlight. She would have turned her back to him, too, like she always had in the morning. Like she didn't want to face what she had done.

Another crash.

Fukuda reached for his pants. He'd have to investigate that. Sho. The other reason why he couldn't just dissipate off into the air. Her son. Caring for Sho…it was more than just a promise. Sho was pretty much his son. Even if she hadn't told him to take care of him…well Fukuda would have done it anyway. If she had been around she would have rushed him out the door. She would have gotten up, tossed him his pants, and then hurried him out the door while she went to check on whatever it was that Sho was up to….that both the kids would have been up to.

She'd had two children.

Sho and Shigeko. Shigeko and Sho. Son and Daughter, as they had been referred to for the first few years of their lives. Her children…not his. There was no way that he could have fathered Sho and Shigeko's parentage was well documented. Her family had been combed backwards five generations on both sides. Not a hint of psychic power in her family tree but a psychic just the same. The only reason she had been here. He wondered what her life would have been if she had been born a normal little girl. She could have saved a lot of people a lot of heartache…years and years of heartache. Six years of it. Masami…it was good, in some ways, that she hadn't stuck around. That she hadn't seen what her daughter had grown into. But maybe it wouldn't have been this way if Masami had stayed…or maybe it would have been much worse. He didn't know and there was no way he was going to imagine that world.

A world in which she had stayed.

He imagined other worlds, of course. Worlds in which she had stayed…with him. Worlds in which he had met her first. Worlds in which Sho had been his son. Worlds in which he had never met Suzuki. Good worlds…near perfect worlds. A world in which Masami had stayed with Suzuki was nowhere near perfect. Masami would have wasted away to nothing if she had stayed with Suzuki. That spark, the light inside of her, would have gone out…and then she would have been gone. Nothing. A shadow of her former self.

He couldn't let that happen to him.

He jumped into his pants and did the top button. Either he was getting fatter or these pants were shrinking. He would have believed either. He had been too preoccupied with dealing with the whole 'whatever the fuck Suzuki was on now' thing to do his laundry right. There was always the stress eating too, of course. He healed, he stayed young for much longer than he should have, but that didn't mean he perpetually stayed a medium forever. He needed to stop with the stress eating…but not now. This didn't count, anyway. It was about breakfast time.

Another crash.

He and Sho needed breakfast, that might have been it…part of it. He'd been through a lot yesterday...and for the past twelve years of his life. This shit with his boyfriend, his sister rubbing it in his face that she could do what he would never be allowed to do, the constant struggle between him and Suzuki, and now low blood sugar. He needed breakfast, they both did. There was very little food around here. There was what Masami had left behind, of course, what he hadn't thrown out the first time he came back here. Things that never expired. Pasta, rice, crackers, rice crackers, saltine crackers, salt, sugar, honey….bouillon cubes and soy sauce. Nothing that he could make a real meal out of. Sho needed an actual meal, with all the food groups, and he needed it soon.

It was a long way back to Tokyo.

Fukuda pushed himself up from the bed and popped his back. This was not going to be a fun day at all. If this had been before then the kids would have been running up and down the halls…and he would have been, too. The kids hadn't known about him and Masami. They had been too young to know, to be able to keep it to themselves, so nobody had told them anything. They didn't even need to know about the love, even now he wouldn't have told Sho about that, but it would have been nice to have been able to have breakfast with them. To maybe play with them for a little bit. Stay and help with lunch…and then dinner…and then breakfast the next day.

Nobody was running up and down these halls.

Fukuda was walking at a normal pace. He could sense Sho's aura, sense it and see it. He was far, deeper into the house. Or maybe he should have said the second house. This was three houses put together. How Suzuki had managed to get the permits for this monstrosity he would never know. Why Suzuki had thought that this was a good idea he would never know. Why Suzuki had thought that Masami would have been happy in a place like this he never would know. Masami hated this house. She had said, before, that being in this house felt like being swallowed up. Like she had been swallowed up and there was no way out. That she couldn't find her way out. There had been a way out. He had given her a way out. He was the reason she was out there, now, hopefully happy. Hopefully she had found some sort of happiness in her life, whatever she could squeeze out of life…since he had broken his promise to her. Was she still out there waiting for him to show up at her door with the kids in hand? Did she ever lay awake at night wondering what had happened to him? To them? Did she ever wonder what had become of them all? Probably. He knew her. There was nothing more bottomless than her love for her children.

Not even this hallway.

This was one of the long ones that connected the houses. Nobody ever went this way, even back when Masami had been around. She never liked the kids wandering so deep into the house. There was nothing down this way but junk, a lifetime of junk. Suzuki was such a packrat, like Shigeko but somehow worse. He saved everything even though he swore up and down, left right and center, that he didn't have a sentimental bone in his body. Their crappy university furniture, whatever could have been saved from old house, random pieces of memories from a better time. Rooms and room of broken memories, broken dreams, and assorted bits of trash.

Why Show wanted anything to do with any of that junk.

He didn't notice Fukuda lurking in the doorway. He was too busy digging around in an old moving box. 'Important books' was scrawled on the side. Fukuda's chicken scratch. That was what this room was. Half of this was Fukuda's chicken scratch and the other half was Suzuki's microscopic handwriting. University junk. Boxes of it. It was amazing how much junk two people could have accumulated in four years. Four apartments. Their first apartment had barely been six tatami mats. No bathtub, bathroom down the hall, and if he sucked in his gut he could sort of fit on the balcony. The second hadn't been much bigger, eight tatami mats, but there had at least been a bathroom with a shower. Not a tub, that would have been apartment number three. He had so missed bathing. Of course by apartment number four he'd had his own bathroom. Now he had his own house. They had their own houses now, with even more junk, junk that was probably going to end up in this room. Then Sho's children would dig through these boxes and wonder how it was possible for anyone to acquire this much junk.

Or whatever it was Sho was wondering right now.

"Hey Sho." said Fukuda as he made his way out of the doorway. It was rude to lurk in doorways, someone had told him once, and anyway this wasn't his house. No matter how badly he wished that it was true this was not his house, Sho was not his son, and this was not his life. His life…he had Sho to worry about. He crossed the room and knelt down beside Sho. He was so big now, they were practically the same height right now. Sho was getting so much bigger…and older…

But he was still the same Sho.

He was ignoring Fukuda. How many times had Fukuda come to put him back together and found him like this? Throwing his toys around? Muttering angrily to himself? Stewing in his own anger? When he'd been little this had been a common occurrence in his life, stewing in his own anger after being punished…but he hadn't been punished. He was here. He was pretty much as free as he could be right now. He had no reason to feel this way, no immediate reason, aside from his life…

Which was a pretty good reason.

He reached over and patted Sho on the arm. He turned around and shoved Fukuda back. Not with his powers, thankfully, but with his own strength…growing strength. His little fists never used to hurt. He'd been so small back then. Now his fists were bigger and they hurt. Now he was big enough, strong enough, to nearly topple Fukuda over. He was so much bigger, now, bigger and stronger…but this was still Sho.

No matter how much older he got he would always be the same Sho…for better or for worse.

"Leave me alone! I have to…to…" said Sho. Fukuda reached his hand out again. That time Sho slapped it away. Still without his powers. He rarely lost control that way. Not like his father. If this had been Suzuki then Fukuda would have been on his back, bleeding, and gasping for air. Sho was, thankfully, his own person.

His own very upset person.

"What are you looking for? Maybe I can help." Said Fukuda

"There's nothing that you can help with." Said Sho

"Are you sure? This is my stuff you're going through, you know. I bet I can name everything in this box without even looking." Said Fukuda

"Well, just, don't I guess! I j just…." Said Sho. He shoved Fukuda again. He made no move to stop him.

"You just?" asked Fukuda. Sho shoved him again. Fukuda let him.

"I don't know!" said Sho. He kicked the box and turned his back. He crossed his arms, too, and drew his knees to his chest. If he hadn't been so big, now, it would have been cute. It had been cute back then…back when Fukuda would have been able to pick him up, toss him in the air, over and over again until everything was all better. Now it was worrying, somewhat. He was turning inwards. Fukuda wouldn't have minded if he turned it outwards, if he destroyed everything in this room. It wasn't like Fukuda cared about any of this junk.

There was one thing, one person, that he cared about in this room.

"Sho….come on. Talk to me." Said Fukuda. He put his hand on Sho's shoulder. He wasn't pushed away. Sho's aura flared but he did nothing. He just stayed there with his back to Fukuda.

"I don't want to." Muttered Sho. Fukuda rubbed his back. Sho didn't move. He kept calm, at least. His aura was flaring but he was still.

"You might feel better if you do." Said Fukuda softly. Sho was too hungry, he could tell, and too tired. There were deep grey bags under his eyes. He'd been up all night…Fukuda should have checked on him. He should have checked on Sho instead of wallowing in his own memories….in a Masami that had been gone for years. He should have been focused on the son that she'd left behind.

"I won't." said Sho

"Are you sure? We used to talk all the time and-" said Fukuda

"That was before! This is now! And anyway you can't help me! I don't even…I don't even care if this is your stuff. I'm not looking for your stuff. I'm looking for…for…for…" said Sho as he turned around. He pushed Fukuda's hand away. Now they were eye to eye. He was so…Fukuda never wanted to see that look in Sho's eye again. He used to look like that when he was little, when he had little problems. Aside from being punished he really had little problems back then. He used to get this upset when Masami wouldn't play with him…or Suzuki ignored him…or he lost on of his toys.

"Are you still looking for your hamster?" asked Fukuda with a laugh, a forced one. Back when Sho had been a kid, a younger kid, he'd had these electronic hamster. A few, actually, and one by one they had gotten lost. He had driven himself crazy looking for it. He'd looked just like this…he'd been so angry that he'd lost it. Angry at the world, angry at the house, and angry with himself.

"No, they're all at your house. I took your phone when you were asleep and I told Tsuchiya how to feed them. I told her that if you locked the door she could kick it down. Sorry if all your stuff gets stolen." Said Sho

"That's…alright. That was very responsible of you." Said Fukuda. That was…Sho was thinking of someone other than himself. That was a good thing. Suzuki wasn't capable of caring about anyone or anything other than himself. Sho…this was a good sign…even if he didn't always think things through….

"Yeah, I know. I can take care of my own hamsters, you know. I can do stuff…I can do a lot of stuff." Said Sho

"I know you can. You're a good hamster owner, a good big brother, a good kid, a good artist, a good-" said Fukuda

"Stop saying stuff I'm good at! I don't want…it's not true and I don't want to hear it!" said Sho

"It is, you know it is." Said Fukuda

"No it's not! If it was true then-then she wouldn't have…just...shut up!" said Sho. He pushed Fukuda again, and this time nearly overbalanced him. Immediately Sho reached forwards and grabbed him by the front of his sweater. It didn't help, Fukuda caught himself, but he didn't tell Sho that. It was best, now, that he thought that he was the one who saved Fukuda. He liked to atone when he did bad things, or at least things that he thought were bad. He used to be a lot more violent than he was now but ever since that thing with Shimazaki, pretty much the only good thing he'd ever done for Sho in his life, Sho had sworn off violence.

Fukuda didn't care if Sho pushed him…but Sho did.

"Sorry! Sorry! I just….I keep on fucking up! I keep on fucking up and I don't know why!" said Sho

"I'm fine, Sho, really. You caught me, see? No concussions, contusions, or abrasions." Said Fukuda

"I know…but still! I suck! I pushed you and I pushed big sis-" said Sho

"Wait, you did what to your sister?" asked Fukuda. This was…Shigeko had seemed fine last time he saw her. Well she had looked like she'd just gone all night with whatever man she'd been with…but she hadn't been anywhere near exploding. He had thought…well he had thought too much and asked too little, it seemed.

"Can't you hear?! I pushed her…I pushed her because she…I don't know why she didn't just stay with her boyfriend….it isn't fair! It isn't fair that she gets a boyfriend but I don't get to see Ritsu…and I actually love him! He's someone worth loving! He plays more than FIFA and he doesn't drink weird tea and he-he-he's not Teru! Big sis gets her boyfriend and he sucks but I-I-I-" said Sho

"Sho…" said Fukuda. That was….a lot to take in. He needed more time, a lot more time, but he just didn't have it. He had to comfort Sho. He could deal with the fact that Shigeko had a boyfriend later. This was…Suzuki wouldn't like this at all. She must have known…so she wasn't so perfect after all. Maybe Suzuki would believe him now…later, he would deal with this later.

Right now Sho needed him.

"What?" snapped Sho

"I'm sorry that all of that happened to you. I have no idea how painful that was for you, seeing her with a boy. I know…I will never know how much it hurts to be so close but so far to the person you love. I will never know what it's like to be betrayed by my own sister." Said Fukuda. There. Lies…but that was ok. Pragmatic choices. He had to tell Sho what he wanted to hear right now.

"Yeah…she did betray me…she likes him but she knows that I can't be with Ritsu and…and her boyfriend betrayed me and…and I pushed her. I pushed her and that was mean and…and I suck! That's why she left!" said Sho

"Sho, no, you don't suck. Your sister left because she can be very selfish and-" said Fukuda

"No, not her. Mom. Mom left because…because I suck. I thought…I was up…my bed is too little. My bed is too little and I couldn't sleep and…and I can't sleep in it without mom tucking me in…but she's gone. She's gone and I thought that….I didn't read so good when I was little. She might have left a note, like hidden it or something, and I just couldn't read it…so I looked…but she didn't!" said Sho

"Sho, no, your mom…she had her reasons. She loves you, though, and if she could have been with you then she would have…but she couldn't." said Fukuda

"Why the fuck not!? Where is she that I can't be?!" asked Sho

"I don't know where she is…but I know that she loves you. I know that she love and she-" said Fukuda

"If she loved me then she never would have left." Said Sho

"No, no, your mom…she had to leave. She had to leave because she didn't want…this life. She didn't want this life and she wanted to take you with but she couldn't." said Fukuda. He wanted to tell Sho the truth. He wanted to tell Sho, to scream it at the top of his lungs, what had happened….but there was no way it wouldn't get back to Suzuki. He couldn't tell the truth…not yet, anyway.

"Why not?" sniffled Sho. Fukuda reached up to wipe his tears but Sho pushed his hand away.

"…Claw stuff…your dad. You know how it is." Said Fukuda as he pulled his hand back. There. The truth. Not the total truth, Sho couldn't know yet, but enough truth that Fukuda didn't feel guilty for once.

"Fuck him! Fuck dad! He ruins everything and…and he deserves to have everything ruined! He deserves…we could do it. We could ruin everything and then…and then we could find mom…" said Sho

"Sho…that's dangerous and you know it. Just being here is dangerous. We need to get back. Come on, we can get some breakfast on the way home." Said Fukuda

"No." said Sho

"You need breakfast. Your blood sugar is getting low, I can tell. You always get this way when you haven't eaten in a while." Said Fukuda

"I'm not going home. I'm going to stay here forever." Said Sho. Fukuda sighed. He wasn't going to get upset. He couldn't let himself get upset. Sho needed him.

"Sho…" said Fukuda. He had to tread lightly here. He had to find the right combination of words that would get Sho to come back…but what? Fukuda wanted him to stay. Sho wasn't going to make it on his own. Not with the whole of Claw looking for him. Suzuki had been talking about having another kid and Fukuda didn't know if he'd made any progress on that front. He knew for a fact, though, that Shigeko wasn't going to just let Sho walk away. She was going to have him, them, hunted down and dragged back.

There was no way out.

He, of course, wanted out. He couldn't even remember a time when he had wanted in. He knew what Sho wanted, the same thing he did, but even with the two of them together there was no way to get out. Not unless they took Claw down, destroyed it, and salted the earth. There was no way that was happening….there was no way they could leave…he had to get Sho to stay. Sho wanted out…but what did he want more than his freedom? What mattered more to him?

The people he cared about.

"What? You're going to say that dad's going to come and beat me up? Or that I'm going to get murdered and stuff out here? Or that you're going to miss me?" asked Sho

"I was going to say that your little sister is going to wonder where her big brother went." Said Fukuda

"Fuck you!" shouted Sho

"She's going to miss you, Sho. She's going to wonder where you've been. She's going to probably stay up all night wondering where you are or if you left her some farewell note…or something…and I know that isn't what you want. You don't want to hurt anyone, you're a good kid like that. Now come on, let's go get some breakfast." Said Fukuda

"Suck a dick!" shouted Sho before he shoved Fukuda backwards for the final time. That time he did use his powers and that time he did managed to overbalance Fukuda. He wound up on his back, a book under him. There were four corners digging right into his spine…wonderful. He picked himself up and ran his hand up and down his back. Sho was gone, now, his footsteps echoed down the hallway. Great.

He'd made it worse.

And now…now it looked like he was going to be having plain rice or noodles for breakfast. If Masami had been there then the house would have smelled like breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, waffles, warm syrup…when she was up for it she sure could cook. But she was gone, now. It was just him and Sho in the house…and if he didn't find Sho soon it would just be him. He couldn't let Sho run away again. He had to keep Sho safe.

For Masami…and for himself.