A/N: A little crack (just a little) never hurt anyone.

Prompt, day 6 of IR Week 2021: Why don't you stay?

The whining of cicadas weaved into the humid night air, entangling the three of them in a cocoon of sound as they enjoyed their sake at a low table on the engawa. Beside Ichigo, Rukia was just finishing a story from her time in Inuzuri. Sitting across from them, for once in his life Byakuya hadn't tensed or gone rigid at the mention of his younger sister's time before he adopted her. Ichigo attributed it to the more than a little sake in the man's system, but he knew better than to draw attention to it; after all, it wasn't every day you got to see Kuchiki Byakuya pull the stick out of his ass.

"So we put on a final burst of speed and turned down the nearest alley," Rukia said, holding out her arms. "We were running and running, we were nearly back at the hideout…only for Renji to collide right into a man carrying a bucket." Her nose started to crinkle at the memory. "I…don't want to tell you what was in it, but let's just say that for the next week, we all forced him to sleep a good ten feet away from us."

Ichigo snickered at the thought of a young Renji covered in whatever sludge the man had been carrying. "He hasn't really changed since then, has he?" he said, slowly moving his hand toward Rukia's leg.

Rukia turned her head to him with a smile, though her eyes flashed a brief warning. "How so?"

"To this day he runs headlong into shit and winds up having to reap the consequences of it," Ichigo said with another snicker. He stealthily slid his hand onto Rukia's knee, leaning forward to disguise the rest of the movement from Byakuya.

"Hey, that's not fair to Renji!" Rukia said, laying the sleeve of her lilac yukata over her leg to further hide Ichigo's hand. "He hasn't done anything like that since—"

"Today," Byakuya said. He didn't look away from the darkened garden, as if he wasn't dishing on his lieutenant. "He's been incessant about moving the squad's kickball practice to before noon what with the heat, and when I agreed, he became so enthusiastic that he promptly kicked the ball through my office window."

Ichigo cringed. "Please tell me you went easy on the poor guy," he said. He moved his hand from Rukia's knee and slid his arm around her waist.

Byakuya faced him just in time to see Rukia shift forward out of the embrace. "Would you 'go easy' if your oaf of a subordinate shattered glass all over your back and tea?" he said.

Ichigo scowled at him. "No, but that doesn't mean—"

"You've both beaten him to an inch of his life, I'm sure he could take it," Rukia said, breaking the ever-present tension between her brother and the man she loved.

Ichigo leaned toward her, perhaps a shade closer than expected between "friends." "You'd think he'd learn at the very least."

A light blush tinged Rukia's cheeks, and her eyes darted over to Byakuya, who was suddenly quite busy refilling her and Ichigo's sake dishes. "Be careful," she mouthed to Ichigo before rising. "If Renji wants to be an idiot, that's up to him, but for now, I have to excuse myself for a moment. Ichigo, try not to irritate Nii-sama. There's only so much room in the doghouse."

Ichigo rolled his eyes but nodded. As much as he pitied Renji's position, he wasn't particularly eager to hear one of Byakuya's lectures himself. They were rather tedious.

Once Rukia had left them, Ichigo glanced out at the garden. Tiny blips of lantern light dotted the landscape, with leaves and stems standing out in jagged stripes against them. Just over the shadowy wall, the sky was dotted with stars, with no sign of sunset left for them to see.

Ichigo sighed. Beautiful as the scene was, it was only a reminder of something he'd rather not remember. "Byakuya, what time is it?" he asked.

Byakuya reached into his yukata and slid his soul pager into his hand. He glanced once at the screen before returning it to his pocket. "A quarter past eleven," he said.

Ichigo cursed under his breath. "It's later than I thought."

Byakuya coolly emptied his sake dish. "How far is it back to Kukaku's from here?"

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Ichigo mumbled, "Far enough." Now that he had mastered shunpo (and shed the non-Shinigami companions/whole rescue mission thing), the trip between Kukaku's house and the Seireitei was significantly shorter, but that was all relative. He still had over an hour's traveling left to do, and through the humidity no less. On top of all that, Kukaku had decided that her latest house needed to be as far from civilization as possible, so there was the likelihood he'd be attacked by a wild boar along the way. Again.

Shaking his head at his predicament, Ichigo drained the last of his sake and nodded at Byakuya. "I should get going," he said. "Kukaku threatened a curfew to keep me 'in the family' or whatever while I visit. I'll say goodbye when Rukia—"

"Why don't you stay?" Byakuya said.

Byakuya's tone was so nonchalant that Ichigo didn't even register he'd said anything worth listening to. Indeed, once he finally grasped the man's words, he immediately held a hand out in front of him to check his vision: maybe he'd had too much sake himself.

"Did you hear me, Kurosaki?"

Oh shit, it wasn't the sake.

Blinking once at the man opposite him, Ichigo said, "You, uh, want me to…spend the night?"

"It's certainly the easier option," Byakuya continued, refilling Ichigo's sake dish. "It is rather humid tonight, in any case."

…Was Byakuya actually concerned about his wellbeing? "That's, uh, nice of you, Byakuya," Ichigo said, his eyes never wavering from him, "but Kukaku will kill me if I don't come back—"

"Why?"

"B-because she said she would?"

"She'd truly have you trek back and forth from the Seireitei to Rukongai every day rather than let you stay here?"

Ichigo nodded because it was the only thing he could do anymore. Since when did Byakuya ever want to prolong their proximity?

"Hmph." Byakuya glanced out at the sky, glaring at something in the distance. "Stay tonight, Kurosaki. If Kukaku raises an issue, I'm certain it's nothing I can't handle."

"Byakuya, that's too much," Ichigo said. Byakuya's willingness to go head to head with Kukaku only meant risking going head to head with Yoruichi. "A-are you absolutely certain? I-I can just—"

"Nii-sama, why is Ichigo so inarticulate?" Rukia said as she rejoined them at the table. She promptly refilled Byakuya's sake dish.

"Rukia, I wouldn't—" Ichigo said, reaching to block her.

"Ichigo is staying with us tonight," Byakuya said, snatching up his sake and downing it in one smooth, elegant motion.

Rukia's eyebrows narrowed at Ichigo in silent accusation. "You are?" she said.

"Hey, don't blame me," Ichigo said. He gestured to Byakuya, who was in the middle of standing from the table. "It was his idea."

Rukia blinked once before letting out a rolling laugh. "You're funny," she said. "Like Nii-sama would want you—"

"It's true, Rukia," Byakuya said, stunning her into silence. "What host would I be if I forced my guest to travel through the night back home if there is plenty of room for him here?"

Opening and closing her mouth several times, Rukia spoke not a word.

Carefully leaning into her, Ichigo whispered, "You see my point." He immediately sat back up when Byakuya cleared his throat for their attention before pinning his gaze on him.

"I will have a servant prepare a room for you in the manor's southern wing, Ichigo. You will notice that this is far from the northern wing, where Rukia's room is located." Byakuya's eyes narrowed. "I trust you not to take advantage of that information."

Ichigo stiffened as a bright blush formed on his cheeks. "I-it's not like that!"

"I was young once too, I'll have you know," Byakuya continued, turning his back to them and effectively ignoring Ichigo. "I know what goes through the mind of a boy such as yourself."

"I'm not a pervert!" Ichigo said, his entire body now turning red.

"I might choose to believe you one of these days," Byakuya said. He stepped forward as if to go inside, but instead paused to look over his shoulder at his sister. "Rukia, remind me tomorrow to have someone install more lighting along the eastern wall. I don't care for how dark it is, especially with security so lax on that side of the manor."

Ichigo opened his mouth to interject, but all that came out was a grunt of pain as Rukia socked him right in the kidney. "I will remind you tomorrow morning, Nii-sama," Rukia said, a polite smile on her face as if oblivious to Ichigo's pain. "Good night."

Byakuya nodded once at the display. "Good night to you as well." He stepped into the house and through to its inner hallway, disappearing from view.

As soon as Byakuya was out of sight, Ichigo hissed in pain and rubbed his back. "What the hell, Rukia?" he shouted.

"Quiet, he can still hear you!" Rukia said, smacking his arm. "Do you know what Nii-sama just did?"

"Make me out to be a creep?"

Rukia scoffed. "Ichigo, that's the closest to his blessing we'll probably ever get."

Quirking an eyebrow, Ichigo said, "What do you mean, blessing?"

Rukia rolled her eyes. "About us."

"He figured it out?" Ichigo said, tilting his head.

That immediately earned him another punch to the kidney.

"Anyway," Rukia said, lightly massaging her fist, "I'm going to bed."

Shaking off the last of his sore back, Ichigo sat up and, glancing once around them, kissed Rukia on the cheek. "I'll totally be in my room in the southern wing and nowhere near yours in the northern wing."

Rukia smirked and rose to her feet. "Good night, stupid."

"Night, shorty."

Ichigo gave her some headway before walking along the engawa to the southern wing. He was intercepted halfway by a servant, who led him the rest of the way to his room. He thanked her kindly before sliding open the shoji door and stepping inside. He made sure it closed over all the way, though he'd only step out again in seconds. Running a hand along the wall, he flipped on the light switch and yawned—

"You're very slow," Rukia said.

"Ah!" Spinning around to face the room, Ichigo's eyes went wide when he found his futon already laid out and Rukia inside it. Her shoulders were bare, and in the corner beyond her lay a heap of lilac fabric. It did not take much imagination for him to figure out what it was.

A smirk growing on his lips, Ichigo slowly stepped toward her. "You're not wearing any clothes, are you?" he said.

Rukia smirked back at him. "You really expect me to sleep with something on in this weather?"

"I don't expect you to sleep at all."

The rest of the night, in which neither of them slept much, played out far better than Ichigo expected, if only because he was not once attacked by a wild boar.

As for Kukaku, well, she could kiss Byakuya's ass for all he cared.