James couldn't stand still for a moment. He felt an adrenaline in his body so strong that he had to constantly move up and down in the courtyards of Hogwarts. In fact, he would have liked to keep studying for the N.E.W.T. - he was not sure that he had repeated the properties of valerian roots thoroughly enough and the thesis he had drafted for admission to the ministerial internship needed a revision to be taken into consideration but, when with the morning post he had received one of his letters, he could not help but comply with the request.
He had rushed into the courtyard and had stayed there until that moment. Whoever had given him an appointment was two hours late and the idea that it was a joke was making room inside his head almost equal with the anger that he would have wanted to pour out on him. He sat down on a very uncomfortable stone bench and, once his cloak was removed, he watched the corridors in anxious anticipation, hoping to see a familiar head appear.
He remembered a series of "June 21st" lived over the previous years, all different.
In his freshman year at Hogwarts, Teddy was attending the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for the last time and it had been really hard to distract him from the N.E.W.T. but he had succeeded anyway. He had dragged him into the Kitchens to grab something to eat (luckily, Teddy's dorms were near the Kitchens and the elves were always very helpful when it came to a Potter) and, on an afternoon too cool for early summer, they had made a feast of cookies and hot chocolate.
James smiled as he remembered the moment when Lupine had become something else.
He had always seen Teddy as an older brother, one to ask for advice on how not to be punished for accidentally blowing up the pantry furniture but, when he had wiped some excess chocolate from his lip, he had begun to look at him with eyes. different. He wasn't just the one who defended him from Ginny and Molly's reproaches, but a beautiful wizard to hold onto.
In his sophomore year, James was grounded by Professor Flitwick. Although Potter continued to argue that transfiguring a housemate's nose into that of a pig was overwhelming proof of his wizarding prowess, the professor had a completely opposite opinion and had forced him to clean up trophies with Solvent. Grandma Acetonella for All Kinds of Dirt without a wand. A real bore.
He had talked about it with Teddy, who was there for a ministerial internship as a temporary Transfiguration teacher, in the hope that he could cancel his punishment… but nothing, it hadn't worked. Discouraged and unnerved, James began to clean up the trophies by rubbing angrily until he saw the reflection of a purple-haired wizard on one of them (his grandfather James Potter's).
"What the hell are you doing here, Teddy?" he had asked him angrily. The other had smiled sweetly at him, had recovered a second canvas and had joined him in the summer cleaning of the trophies.
James blushed but he really liked being alone with Teddy, even though he would have gladly done without the stink of Grandma Acetonella Solvent for All Kinds of Dirt.
In his third year, James had been eagerly awaiting the end of school. Teddy had become a real teacher by now (Harry couldn't be prouder of that. He said to all his relatives things like "Eh, maybe James had the same head as Teddy ... Teddy must have taken from Remus, for sure!" Or "I really am proud of him, first in the rankings, such a young wizard hadn't taught at Hogwarts for centuries! ") and really struggled to address him as" Professor Lupine ", especially during interrogations. The truth was that, as much as James insisted on "Teddy and I are like brothers," Lupin, honest as only a Hufflepuff can be, had never given him special treatment. In fact, just before his annual exams, James had received a punishment to be served in Professor Lupin's office.
"Teddy, you're unfair."
"I'm Professor Lupin, now."
"And I want to talk to Teddy."
"There is not."
"Yes there is!"
"No, Potter, and write down on the parchment all the movements of all the spells learned during the year or I'll have to fail you!"
James snorted but followed the order as if any other teacher had imposed it on him. He had spent the whole afternoon in Teddy's office, between serving his punishment and observing him so absorbed in his duties as a teacher. He was really handsome.
When he had finished transcribing (and he had done so with extreme detail) what was requested, he had handed over the parchment, placing it gently on the desk. Teddy raised his eyes and smiled sweetly at him. Potter, then, had returned the smile and placed his hands on the knuckles of the other.
"So, Teddy, will you give me a kiss?"
And Teddy had kissed him. Teddy's kisses were truly beautiful; he every time he felt like wrapped in a duvet in winter, when he is so cold that even your pee freezes, and it was enchanting. Teddy was. He was perfect in every respect, a bit like the sorceress Mary Poppins.
Lupin continued to kiss him, taking James's mouth and tasting it as if he were a delicious Gingerbread and then, without breaking away, he got up and hugged him tightly. James's heart was beating fast, so fast that he could have stopped at any moment, and he had smiled against Lupin's lips.
"Now do you admit you put me in detention just because you wanted me here all to yourself?"
In his fourth year, James had become acquainted with the intimacy of Teddy Lupin. Actually, the "first time" had happened during the Christmas holidays (Harry had caught them, it had been a completely surreal situation. Teddy and James had sneaked out of the huge, noisy family dinner and hid in James' room.). After gossiping a bit about the too gaudy wool of Grandma Molly's sweaters and making fun of their French cousins, they started flirting. For James it was a very exciting thing to kiss his Transfiguration teacher in every corner of the castle, and he had never thought about the fact that it might not be like that for Lupine. They stayed all evening, Harry didn't know about his son's homosexuality or Teddy's, and the two of them couldn't really consider themselves "engaged" even though James said they "Having a boyfriend." However, the moment of lying on the bed and rolling around in fiery kisses was their favorite time frame, at least until, seized by a rush almost to Nimalist, Teddy had slipped a hand into his pants. Needless to say, James had emitted a moan just feeling the hands of the other massaging his cock; he had arched his back and, fuck, how much he liked Teddy. He had come a few minutes later, while Lupin nibbled his neck leaving a small mark of his canines after grinning. So James had decided to sit up and return the favor of him; he wanted to feel what it was like to touch Teddy's intimacy, to make him feel the same pleasure that he had made him feel previously. He had unbuttoned his jeans and slipped his right hand into his boxers, surprised to find him already aroused, and began to move his hand up and down, up and down ... slow, perpetual, unstoppable. Teddy was moving just under the boy's touch, breathing slowly against James' ear who could feel his warm breath moistening his earlobe. He had stopped for two seconds to enjoy the moment, his heart beating fast, Teddy's head resting on his shoulder, the scent of her hair, the soft, pulsating skin of her intimacy vibrating under his hand... and then he had resumed, up and down, louder, up and down, faster, up and down, non-stop, up and down. Teddy had come with a long, powerful jet of cum that filled James's hand. Without doing it on purpose, at that moment Harry had entered who had found his son with his pants wet with his semen and a hand on Teddy's penis.) And from that moment Teddy and James had continued to secretly see each other to kiss, nibble, masturbate. On June 21st of the fourth year, James was waiting for Teddy at the Astronomy Tower, the least frequented place in the castle; Potter had already imagined touching Teddy's cock again but he had come along with bad news. "We have to stop here, Jamie," he had told him.
"If it's for my father ..."
"It's not for him... I ... I'm a teacher, I can't."
"Teddy... don't do that," James pleaded in tears. Teddy shrugged and walked over to him.
"I know it's hard to understand but..."
"I love you," he had confessed to him with red cheeks and shining eyes. "Do not go."
Teddy had stayed there with him, but in silence, without a kiss or a hug. He was very cold even that June 21st.
By his fifth year, James had spent much of his time studying for the O.W.L.S. to avoid thinking about Teddy. He thought about it more often than he wanted even though they had never seen each other again in the Astronomy Tower. On June 21st, James was scheduled to take the O.W.L. of Transfiguration but it was a real disaster. When James and his classmates walked into the Great Hall to take the exam, they caught Professor Lupin talking to the tightly packed ministerial examiner. The problem was not the fact itself but the bewitching beauty of the magician in question. James knew Teddy's look when he liked something, he used to look at him that way but now...
"Merlin, what a cool examiner, right Jamie? I don't know if he is more handsome than Professor Lupin, "said his best friend. Potter had limited himself to a grunt before taking his seat and completing the written test. It had been really hard for him to focus on the test but he had managed to finish it and deliver it.
For the oral exam, however, it was necessary to wait in the lobby for the examiner and the professor to call them. Meanwhile, anger and jealousy were struggling to conquer the top of James's emotions.
"Potter, James," he had called the examiner. The boy had frowned, putting on the least kind expression of the last century, and had entered the Great Hall. He had to focus on the exam, show that he was good, so that Teddy would take his eyes off the examiner.
The latter, after placing his glasses on the tip of his nose, had looked up at James. "So, Potter, is there any topic you would like to talk about?"
"They're all the same," James replied hostile.
"All right. So can you tell us what are the Five Major Exceptions to Gamp's Law? "
"The Five Major Exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration are five magical objects that are exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration, meaning that they cannot be generated by magic. These are food, love, information, life and money. "
"Oh, very good, yes ... very good!"
Despite the boy's hatred, his oral exam got off to a great start: he was really prepared, despite what could be said about his hothead, he had studied a lot... sure, for the wrong reasons since he just wanted to hit Teddy, but he was perfectly capable of passing the exam with a beautiful E.
"Professor Lupin, for me the boy can go ... if you have nothing else to ask him, of course ..."
Teddy had pursed his lips thoughtfully. "In fact, I have something to ask him. Potter, why don't you tell us about the difference between Evanescence and Evocation? "
Actually James wasn't expecting another question. When the Ministry employee had said that he could go he had relaxed and deconcentrated beforehand, but he had replied anyway. "Evanescence is the art of making things disappear, while Evocation is the art of making them appear out of nowhere."
His inner self knew that Evanescence was a first year topic to which he always replied badly every time but he had studied really hard not to be able to answer well. Aware that he had answered correctly, he had smiled.
"No it does not."
"But how is it not so, Professor?" he had asked with clenched fists, treading on the last word.
"Excuse me, Lupin, but to me the candidate's answer seemed correct and ..."
"And here we are being examined, Smith, I will not take for granted an answer like that of a little boy in his first Transfiguration lesson!"
James's patience was starting to falter but he resisted. A deep breath and away: he knew what the fucking difference was and had tried to explain it using more appropriate terminology. "Evanescence is the art of making things vanish; to transform things into non-things. Evocation is the art of making things appear out of nowhere and consequently it is the opposite of Evanescence. "
"No ... we haven't."
Another blow. Potter's right eyebrow was already showing signs of his next sagging.
"But, Lupin..."
The professor, therefore, had recovered a sheet of parchment and an Auto-Inking Pen to write on it ... or rather, draw the correct answer on it. James hadn't been able to endure such humiliation on the exam, after being ignored for a whole year, after seeing him flirt with the examiner and ... no, he hadn't been able to keep his cool. His Gryffindor soul had made him grab the parchment, which he had then squeezed in his hands until he crumpled it, while he talked through gritted teeth in anger. "Evocation, Professor Lupine, is a topic from M.A.G.O. and you should at least be proud that you at least know the definition! "
"You are right, Lupin..."
"And as for the Evanescence, do you know what I tell you?" he asked him rhetorically, then tore the parchment down into confetti to throw at him. "Get me out of these, asshole!" he had screamed and walked out of the Great Hall, convinced that he had failed miserably on every front.
By his sixth year, things had radically changed. Despite the outburst of the previous year, the situation with Teddy seemed to have found a new balance. They had begun to see each other again in the Astronomy Tower, which in many ways had become their love nest, their alcove. James had waited for Teddy for hours at times until he was free from classes. In the sixth grade there were far fewer subjects to study and it was easier to have free time, although the tasks had magically tripled compared to previous years.
Every time they saw each other they had fantastic sex (yes, they had started during the summer, after James' rant in the exam. Harry had reluctantly invited Teddy to spend the summer vacation at the Burrow with their family and No one had mentioned James's misconduct and the two had been careful not to even look at each other by mistake until James had been bitten by a gnome; there was no one in the house but his younger brothers and Teddy, Albus had tried to suggest that he go to St Mungos but James had flatly refused. "What does it take to make an Epismend," he said. But the bite was burning so much so Lily had immediately called Teddy.
The two had sat on the bed in Lupin's room, James had taken off his shirt and, with his bleeding arm stretched out towards the Professor, snorted while the other was medicating him. Teddy had a special ointment as a remedy for magical creature bites.
"Here it is," she told him after having bandaged part of his forearm, "it should take effect within a couple of hours."
James replied with a verse and got up with the intention of going to retrieve a t-shirt in the other room.
"James ... how long do you want to ignore me?"
"Until you have recovered a minimum of brains, asshole!" he repeated. By now he seemed to be having fun addressing him with that cute nickname.
"James ..."
"You got me in trouble, you humiliated me in front of that dead Ministry Fwooper! There to make him sweet eyes! "
"But what sweet eyes ..."
"You're an asshole," he repeated satisfied.
"Do you want to at least listen to me?"
"No!" she had replied angrily. The more Teddy tried to talk to him the more James sent him to that country. They had gotten to a point where Lupine, exasperated by not being able to express himself freely, grabbed James, threw him on the bed, straddled him and kissed him to shut him up. It was a kiss full of resentment from both of them, which led them to scratch, undress, turn over, bite each other, insult each other, rub against each other until Teddy had entered them. In that instant, during his first time, James knew he was going to be forever of that asshole.), of sex so beautiful, fiery and passionate that James wanted to start again soon after and keep Teddy's body tight to his for everything. the rest of the day and night. He kissed his thin lips with extreme voluptuousness and the mere thought of touching the soft and warm hands of the boy was enough to send him into ecstasy.
But they weren't together.
James had tried to get in the way but that asshole responded with absurd phrases like "I'm not a fag" or "I don't like you at all, Potter"... words he didn't believe in the least, of course. How could he do it, after all? It was Lupine who was looking for him, provoking him… and he let himself be carried away by the desire to feel him sink into his body, to squeeze his hips, to tear off his clothes and stay with his legs open for all the time they had available. If Teddy hadn't been bisexual at least he certainly wouldn't have consented to all their sexual relations.
Every time, after sex, James would have liked to lie down next to him, caress his hair, hug him tightly ... the mere memory of those moments of intimacy evoked a nostalgic feeling in James, so much so that he smiled wistfully.
Last June 21st they had had sex twice, one of them on the cold floor of the Potions classroom. After the embrace, Lupin was short of breath and lay on the ground with his eyes thin and shiny from his tiredness, then he looked at James and smiled sweetly. Potter wanted to say "I love you", beg him to be with him for real, ask him again to make love again, but Teddy had dressed in a hurry. He had left the Potions classroom without even saying goodbye.
And now, in his seventh year, James waited, thought and remembered. Teddy. Teddy, Teddy, Teddy. His head was full of Teddy.
And Teddy came, beautiful as the sun, in his white, fluttering toga.
"Teddy!"
"James," greeted the other coldly.
James walked over to him, trying not to show that he was worried. "I thought it was a joke. The appointment was two hours ago! "
"Oh, um, I've been busy."
"Oh. Any punishment? "
"No. I… listen, I have to tell you something important. "
"Tell me…"
"I ... I have a boyfriend," Teddy declared bluntly.
James was stunned. His mouth remained wide open for a good couple of minutes, time that he used trying to swallow the anger, the inadequacy, the bitterness he had in his mouth.
"You have ... but you ... you are not a fag," he addressed her, quoting his words.
"I ..." Lupin began but Potter's anger interrupted him.
"But then it's not because you don't like cock in general, say you don't like mine, you ugly asshole!"
"Well, obviously I have to accept being bi if I had sex with you, don't you think?"
"So why ... why not with me?" he asked in a low voice. Those fucking tears that wanted to come out had to remain motionless where they were. He shouldn't have been crying, not again, not in front of Teddy. "Why ..." he repeated, lowering his gaze.
"Because I don't love you," he admitted. "You are a handsome boy, James, and I love having sex with you. But I don't love you, " he clarified. "And now I have a boyfriend."
In his seventh year, on June 21st, James had had to suppress that irrepressible urge to cry in despair as Teddy joined his boyfriend. That asshole.
Potter sat back on the cold bench and spent another fucking June 21st.