A/N: As much as I adore Ben Solo, I fell in love with Kylo Ren first.
When the leader of the bad guys sang something soft and soaked in pain,
I heard the echo from his secret hideaway.
He must have forgot to close his door as he cranked out those dismal chords
and his four walls declared him insane.
– "The Judge" by Twenty One Pilots
Jakku is even more repulsive than he imagined.
Kylo Ren stalks through Niima Outpost, scowling behind his mask. The sun beats down on his black clothes, the desert heat barely lessened by the canopies strung above his head. Why would Lor San Tekka — or anyone, for that matter — choose to reside in a place like this?
Well, no matter. He will be gone from this wasteland as soon as he finds the map. How difficult can it be to find a well-kept droid amongst the dust and garbage surrounding him?
Then he feels it: a familiar prickling along the back of his neck; an awareness that comes not from his eyes or ears, but from his mind.
Someone here is strong with the Force. She is untrained, stronger than she knows, and completely oblivious to her power. Most surprisingly, her essence sings in harmony with his own. Kylo turns, following the bright flare of her Force signature with single-minded determination.
He finds her at the very edge of the tents, hunched over a pile of scrap metal. Her tanned skin is freckled, her dark hair tied into three buns along the back of her head. She is young, Kylo realizes — young, and beautiful.
He shakes his head. He has no time for thoughts like that.
She looks up when he stops just before her, pausing her frantic scrubbing and staring up at him, slack-jawed, wonder and fear shining in her wide eyes. He tilts his head. Her mind buzzes with a hundred thoughts all at once, quick and fleeting, but he can read each of them with ease.
She is hungry. Thirsty. Tired. So lonely, like him,her heart aching more with each passing day. Yet, unlike him, her Force signature is so bright that it blinds him. How can she be so in-tune with the light in a place like this?
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the groveling Crolute at his side smirk. "Ah. This is Rey, my finest scavenger."
Something in Kylo growls at the junk boss's use of the word my. This fascinating girl — Rey — belongs to no one.
So why does Kylo want her to belong to him?
His master encourages him to follow his impulses. To take what he wants, without apology. If he takes Rey away from here, will Snoke allow him to train her?
He will, Kylo thinks. He has to. Kylo has given everything he has to the dark side, to Snoke, and he has never asked for anything in return. Surely Snoke will give him this one thing for himself.
"Beautiful, isn't she?" the Crolute continues. "Hardworking. Lives all by herself, in the middle of nowhere. Her parents left her in my care when she was a child." He gives Kylo a slimy grin. "I'll sell her to you."
Kylo and Rey both whip their heads around to stare at the creature. Rey's expression is feral, and Kylo revels in the darkness that clouds her Force signature when she growls, "I'm not your slave."
The Crolute — Unkar Plutt, Rey's mind supplies — keeps grinning. "You scavenge in exchange for food. And I paid your parents coin for you."
"That's a lie," she says, her voice still fierce despite the way her eyes take on a tearful sheen. "They're coming back for me."
They're not. Kylo can see the memory in her mind, warped and changed over the years, the truth of the day they left buried beneath the tale she tells herself. She was abandoned here, left behind by the people who claimed to love her.
Kylo knows what that's like, too.
He could mind-trick Plutt into allowing Rey her freedom. But if he does, what will tie Rey to him? Gratefulness? He cannot trust something as fickle as that. Though it rankles him to pay such a disgusting creature, he will do it. Once he and Rey return to the Finalizer, Kylo will take her on as his apprentice. When she has learned all she can — when she won't find it so easy to leave him — he will make her free again. Then, she will choose to stay.
He does not bother to ask for an amount. He simply pulls a wad of credits out of his pocket and hands it to Plutt without counting. All the while, Rey's eyes never leave him, her shoulders tensed as she breathes quickly. Plutt smiles, his gaze darting between Rey and Kylo.
"Leave us," Kylo says softly.
The Crolute obeys. Rey does not move, though Kylo can sense each intention as it flashes through her mind: run, hide, attack, hide, bargain, run, run, run. He grasps her upper arm before she can act on such thoughts, gloved fingers curling around her bicep with ease. She is so thin. That growling protectiveness from before returns, filling him with the inexplicable desire to care for her. He wants to keep her well-fed and give her new clothing, something to replace the rags she wears. He wants to make her feel less lonely. But above all that, he wants her to want his company as much as he longs for hers.
He knows that makes him childish and weak, just as Snoke always says. But he can't seem to care.
"You may return to your home and collect your things before we depart," he says.
"Where are we going?" There is fear in her eyes, and defiance, but she does not struggle against him. Kylo feels strangely proud of her for it.
"My ship." Arming her with more information seems foolish. Better to maintain the mystery he has built around himself.
"It's..." She swallows uncomfortably, and the motion makes Kylo's own throat ache with thirst. "It's a long way back. I ride my speeder."
"Show me."
He does not release her arm during the walk to her speeder. Even seated on it, he keeps his hold on her, one arm wrapped around her waist as they make their way across the desert. Rey's mind buzzes with fear, adrenaline, and confusion.
They travel in silence before stopping in front of a fallen AT-AT. Rey shuts off her speeder and leaps to the ground, staff clutched in her hand. When Kylo follows her, his boots slide on the shifting sand beneath his feet, and he growls in annoyance under his breath. He hates this planet.
Rey takes advantage of his fleeting weakness. With a yell, she swings her staff at him, her rage clear on her face. Kylo immediately throws up a hand, freezing the cobbled-together weapon an inch from his side. The girl grits her teeth, desperately pushing against his hold, but she cannot break it. Just when she decides to run, he lets his power snare the rest of her as well, holding her in place.
"You want to kill me," he says, a touch of surprise in his voice as he dips into her thoughts.
She winces at the feeling of his mind alongside hers. Still, her words are vicious. "That's what happens when you've been sold to a creature in a mask."
A creature in a mask. How wrong she is — and yet, how right.
Kylo plucks the staff from her hand and tosses it to the ground. Easing his Force hold on her the slightest bit, he releases the catches of his mask and pulls it from his head. Rey's eyes widen. Tucking his helmet beneath his arm, Kylo takes a step towards her.
"What do you want from me?" Rey asks, her voice hard despite the fear he can practically taste.
He lifts a gloved hand to hover beside her cheek. She flinches, as if she expects him to strike her, and his heart gives a painful twinge. He will not be a monster to her. Calling upon his long-forgotten gentleness, Kylo lets his fingertips skim her cheek. Then, against his better judgement, he opens his mind to hers. It is not enough to give her full access to his thoughts, but it is enough for her to feel the way that his innermost self echoes hers.
It is a mistake.
Untrained though she is, Rey pries open all his barriers, barreling into his mind in response. She rifles through him, pulling at fears and desires and dragging his memories out of the shadows. It hurts. He scrabbles for purchase against the torrent she has made of his mind.
"Ben," she murmurs, and he nearly screams.
Finally, finally, he rips his mind away from hers, his heart pounding. Rey looks at him with wide eyes, breathing hard.
Kylo feels like a wounded animal — wild, pained, backed into a corner. So he responds like a wounded animal would. Snarling, he freezes Rey with the Force once more, hammering his mental shields in place. Then he does to her what she just did to him.
She has no defense against him. All her thoughts and memories are laid bare before him, and he sees —
"The droid," he says, surprised. "It's here."
At last, Skywalker will be his. Leaving Rey frozen outside of her home, Kylo brushes past the cloth doorway of the AT-AT. The little droid is just inside, beeping wildly, but it only takes the tap of one button to power it down. He lifts it in his arms and carries it back out into the Jakku sun, securing it in the net on the side of Rey's speeder.
"You're a monster," Rey says, her voice strained.
Yes. He is.
With a flick of Kylo's fingers, Rey is rendered unconscious. She falls into his waiting arms.