"Congratulations," Megumi said, looking down into a glass of whiskey two hours after the whole world was scheduled to end. "You've both finally done it."

"What?" Yuji — kind, loving, see-the-best-in-everyone Yuji — is the one who asks because that's just who he is. Nobara can smell Megumi's bullshit a mile away so she's busy trying to flag down a waitress. "What'd we do?"

"You've driven me to drink." Megumi winced at the burn of the whiskey. He definitely didn't have the taste for this. "This is the first step towards alcoholism."

"I don't think alcoholics cough and gag after every sip." Nobara deadpans.

A waitress comes to their booth holding a spiral-ringed notepad and dressed like this is some old seventies teen flick and not the gory post-apocalypse slice-of-life film that it is.

Whatever.

Nobara orders pancakes and bacon to go with her four AM bourbon.

"My granddad used to hack up a lung every time he went outside for his morning smoke. Told him to quit but he said smoking was the longest relationship he'd ever had." Yuji slurps his milkshake. "Maybe you're more of a smoker, Megumi."

Megumi blinks.

"The more I hear about your grandfather the more depressing he seemed."

"Didn't your father abandon and then die on you?" Nobara asks. "Twice?"

"Technically he only abandoned me once." Megumi corrected. "But, yeah, sure whatever."

Their waitress came back with Nobara's order balanced in her right hip and her eyes locked on Yuji's biceps.

"Here you go, honey." She said, leaning over the table to place the plate in front of Nobara and her tits in front of Yuji. Nobara gave Megumi a look that he pointedly ignored because he was very much still pissed about their handling of the almost apocalypse. Besides, Yuji wouldn't know a come-on if someone slapped him with it on the face so there was really nothing to be concerned about — bimbo boobs, cheap perfume, and all. "What can I get you two boys?"

"Oh, um…" Yuji shifted slightly to look her in the eyes instead of the tits, "I'll have the breakfast sandwich."

The waitress nodded. "Sure thing, handsome." Her smile drooped slightly as she turned to Megumi. Not because he wasn't handsome but because one didn't need the ability to see curses to know that he wasn't in the fucking mood. "And you, sir?"

"Two new partners? Preferably the kind that aren't idiots?" Megumi grumbled. Nobara flicked a piece of her pancake at him, watching in amusement as it got stuck with all the gravel already in his hair. "But if you don't have that then I'll just have eggs, sausage and toast."

The woman gave each of them a strange look before scurrying away.

"Look at that Megumi. You scared away Yuji's new girlfriend."

Yuji frowned. "Girlfriend?"

Megumi rolled his eyes.

"You guys are literally driving me insane. You know that right?"

"Yeah, well," Nobara shook her head. The whipped cream on her chocolate pancakes was starting to melt. "Whatever. We did what we had to do."

"There is a stark difference between had to and could . None of what you two did was necessary."

"You keep telling yourself that," Nobara said around a bite of bacon. "And aren't you the guy who used to opt for self-sacrifice at every minor inconvenience?"

"He was." Yuji nodded. "You were a real wanna-be martyr back then, Megumi."

"Yeah, well, not anymore." He wasn't. Hadn't been in a long time. "You could have died with that stunt you pulled, Itadori." Now he was the one doing his best to make sure all three of them got home in one piece. Together ."And you don't need to kill someone every time somebody comes after us, Kugisaki."

"Kugisaki? Itadori?" Nobara spoke around a bite of bacon. "Huh, you hear that Yuji?"

"Serious." Yuji nodded. "I'm scared."

"Can you guys be serious for five minutes? You almost died!"

"Yeah? And your point is?" Nobara paused."I'm not sorry for keeping us safe. I did what I had to and I don't see what the problem is."

"And most of that stuff was Sukuna," Yuji muttered to no one in particular. "I did my best to hold him back but you know how he gets when it concerns you." Everyone knew how Sukuna felt about Megumi so it was really no surprise when he made his appearance. It was more surprising that he left so quickly and didn't kill anyone this time. "Plus, I didn't wanna die again. Dying sucks."

"'Cause you don't embrace it," Nobara said. "I'm sure once you get the hang of it it'll be a walk in the park"

"Yeah, you know, I don't think that saying applies to dying."

"Not with that attitude."

"You have Sukuna tear out your heart, Nobara, then resurrect you and then we can talk. Until then I think we'll just have to be on different teams where death is concerned."

Nobara waved her hand.

"Whatever. It's not like he can't bring you back." She stabbed her pancake stack with her fork, cutting into it with the dulled butter knife. It was clearly old, like everything else in this dinner, but it had the prettiest floral etching on the handle. It reminded her of the twin scars on her shoulder and Itadori's bicep. " The real question is will Gojo actually pay us this time?"

Megumi sighed. "That is not the question. The question is why do you guys have a death wish?"

Both of them ignored him.

"He paid us last time," The waitress slid two plates in front of Megumi and Yugi, the latter of which gave her a flash of that dopey smile that won hearts without even trying. He turned back to the two of them, missing the slight swoon that she gave him. "Didn't he?"

"Being paid in sushi was okay when we were students but now we have real bills."

Yuji bit into the sandwich, ketchup coating his bottom lip. "Real bills?"

Megumi reached over and wiped it almost automatically.

"Yeah, real bills." Nobara watched as he licked at the ketchup on his finger before stabbing into his eggs decided not to comment, filing the sight away for later ridicule. Megumi frowned. "You wouldn't know, Itadori, because the actual adults pay the bills for you."

By actual adults, Megumi mainly meant himself. When they'd first moved in together after graduation Nobara had actively paid her own half of the rent and utilities while he managed his half and set a reminder to deal with Yuji's, but about three months into it she'd set up a joint bank account for the three of them. So now Megumi was fully in charge of making sure that the bills were paid, Nobara's shopping problem was managed, and Yuji didn't just give their savings to the first sob story he came across.

It was clearly a dig but Nobara didn't care and Yuji wouldn't care.

In fact, he just smiled brighter at Megumi.

"And I appreciate it!"

Nobara then snapped her fingers to get her friends' attention.

"Besides the point. We finished the job and Gojo needs to pay us what he promised," She told them. "I need to get a manicure, and you know that isn't cheap."

"How would I know that?" Yuji asked.

"You should know. Look at your nails, babe —they're long as hell and caked in grime." Nobara grimaced. "I'm not letting you anywhere near me until you get those talons fixed."

Yuji looked down at his hands, frowning.

"It's Sukuna's fault. They get like this when he gets...over-excited."

"Yeah? Well the sight of them literally hurts my vagina. " Nobara pointed her fork at him. "Tell that asshole that if he ever tries to skewer me with those things I'll cut his dick off."

Yuji blinked.

"It's my dick too, you know."

Nobara stole a sausage off Megumi's plate and bit it.

"I know."

She laughed as Yuji's eyes widened, eyes drifting over to Megumi. He looked a little queasy, paler around the edges than usual but she supposed that was to be expected considering the mess they'd left behind. She hoped Gojo had sent someone to clean up like they'd asked or the local authorities were going to wonder how the local "priest" had grown two more pairs of arms and an extra eye and managed to slatter himself all over the den under the chapel. Plus the limbs of the lower grade curses they'd killed down there were just thrown all over the place.

They were all pretty much used to the carnage that came with the job at this point but that didn't make the whole thing any less gross.

That's why she hadn't ordered the eggs after all.

She watched Megumi stab at his eggs again.

"I'll talk to Gojo. He'll pay us," Megumi said. Nobara was only mildly disgusted when he ate the eggs, more interested in the prospect of a new set of nails than how closely scrambled eggs matched the entrails of a second-grade chimera curse. "I guess we could always use the money."

"We could use the money." Nobara pointed between herself and Yuji. "You're the head of Zenin family."

Megumi rolled his eyes.

"So?"

"So…" Nobara leaned forward, batting her eyes. "You're fucking loaded, daddy ."

Yuji laughed as Megumi turned slightly pink.

"Thought I told you not to call me that."

"I will if you splash a little of that Zenin cash every once in a while," Nobara said. "You could buy mama a new car or something…"

"You are not my mother."

"I'm better," Nobara smirked. "I suck your dick and I fuck you."

"It's for emergencies."

"Anything can be an emergency… depending on your definition. Right, Yuji?"

Yuji shrugged. "I guess…"

"Can we just eat?" Megumi sipped his whiskey again. "I just want to go home."

"I'd go home with you if you bought me a Birkin."

Megumi shot her a look.

"You're going home with me regardless."

"Yeah," Yuji chuckled, "not like anyone else will deal with you except for us."

It might have been because they had almost died or maybe because it was literally four AM but instead of throwing back a remark, Nobara just threw back her head and laughed. Either way, Yuji and Megumi were spellbound as they watched her. Her laughter was just like her — darker than it should have been but just as full, intoxicating, and wild as its owner.

It wasn't long before Yuji joined her, reaching over to ruffle her grit-covered hair.

Megumi chuckled, lowly, as he watched them bat at each other, giggling and shining like the brightest things in the dinner.

His lip had curled up into a lazy smile when he leaned forward. "Could you two stop being children for five minutes? We still have to figure out how we're getting back to Tokyo tonight."

Yuji unwound himself from Nobara, mouth pursed in thought.

"Can't we just get a hotel?"

"At four AM?" Megumi raised a brow. "I doubt it."

"I don't stay in motels." Nobara reminded them. "Not after the whole rat situation."

"It wasn't that bad." Yuji tried. "I've seen worse."

"You have? Where?" Nobara frowned. "I lived in the boondocks and that was the closest I've ever seen a rat. Plus it was freaking huge!"

"Yeah, yeah." Yuji rolled his eyes. Scooting over slightly so that he could pull Nobara back into the crook of his shoulder again. "Still think you're overreacting, though." He reached out for Megumi's hand, stroking the side of his wrist with his thumb. Nobara was right. He really needed to do something about the talons. "Right, Megumi?"

"People are staring," Megumi said, making no move to let go of Yuji's hand.

"So?" Nobara smirked, toying with Megumi's foot under the table. Her toe of her boot inched up his right calve. "They're probably just curious. I doubt anyone in this podunk town is in a committed threesome."

"Must you be so crass?"

"What do you want me to call it?" Nobara asked, laughing. "A ménage et trois?" Nobara's smile was devious. "The holy trinity? The devil's threesome?"

"Nobara…"

"What? I thought you'd appreciate the religious imagery." She chuckled, burying her face into Yuji's shoulder. "You know… What with our last mission and all..."

"I don't." Megumi deadpanned. "And get your foot off my leg."

"Well, I was trying to get it on your dick."

"Not in public."

"So later," Nobara licked her lips, "in the bathroom?"

"Oh my god."

Yuji watched them for another moment. They really were hilarious.

"We really should figure out where we're staying tonight." He offered. "I'm getting tired, too."

"Maybe later when Megumi's dick isn't interesting anymore."

Megumi sighed, pushing her foot. "You're insane."

"Well, duh. It's why I'm such a good lay."