They sit. Dinners aren't always so tense, but this one seems to be for no reason. Levi Ackerman sits across from his niece and watches her pick at her food. Her friends, Armin and Eren seem awkward as well. Eren is sweating up a storm and is biting his lip thinking about something. Armin seems to be more collected than Eren but is tapping his fingers on his plate mindlessly.
Hange and Erwin, Mikasa's aunt and uncle are quiet as well. Dinners are never quiet when Hange is here, She's usually talking about her latest science experiment or talking about her cute garter snakes Sawney and Bean. Erwin wanted two German Shepards but due to Hange being allergic to the little creatures, Erwin was forced to get snakes instead. Instead of feeding them bones and telling them to roll over Erwin watches Hange feed Sawney and Bean her experiments live, Erwin protests each time while Armin, Eren, and Mikasa get excited to see the blood and gore.
No, there is no conversating in the Ackerman household tonight, but Levi must try! Mikasa and himself may not be the most open, but the dinner's awkwardness was becoming overbearing for him.
"Soooo... Mikasa, how was school today?" Levi finally asked, both Eren and Armin brace for impact. Hange notices this and says nothing.
"It was fine." She mumbles and leans her head on her hand and takes a bite of peas. If she's being honest School was anything from fine. She's five seconds away from melting down like Chernobyl. Mikasa grits her teeth thinking about what happened earlier that day and Levi, unfortunately, sees this.
"I can tell it wasn't fine. You're never tense Mikasa." Levi said and Mikasa smiles at him.
"See? Everything's fine, now if you don't mind I have schoolwork to do." She gets up.
"Actually I do mind Mikasa, we were all having a delightful dinner and you're not finished."
"I'm not hungry." Mikasa quickly said.
"Mikasa just tell me what's wrong!" Levi raised his voice, making Mikasa wince. She hates loud noises and always has.
"Nothing is wrong Uncle Levi. Get the fuck out of my face!" She yells back, clearly distressed. Levi clearly doesn't like the blatant disrespect. Mikasa immediately feels guilty for what she did but before she gets anything out Levi speaks again.
"Go to your room." He simply says and Mikasa feels as though she's going to cry. She hates making her Uncle mad after all he's done for her, he took her in when Mikasa's parents were murdered after all. It's the least she can do is be kind and appreciative.
"Uncle Levi I-"
"Go to your room, Mikasa! I don't even want to look at you right now." Levi says, making Mikasa even more upset. She looks down, tears threatening to enter her eyes but she walks upstairs into her room before anybody can see. Armin and Eren want to follow but Levi forbade it.
"Well, that was um... Something?" Hange chuckles nervously. The tension in the room could be cut with a katana. "What happened to Mikasa?" Erwin asked, eating a bit of steak. The boys tense up when Erwin asks the question
"Nothing happened Uncle Erwin." Eren quickly responds. "You know how girls are, it's probably uhh... Hormones! Yeah, hormones."
"Okay, if you say so," Erwin says, not wanting to make the situation worse. Everyone just sits in silence and eats for a bit.
"Remember when we went to that baseball game when we were teenagers Levi?" Hange asks, this question seemed to bother him more.
"How could I ever forget?" He says, his tone as flat as his butt.
"What happened at the baseball game?" Armin asks Hange.
"Well you see," Hange fights back her laughter. "When Levi was trying to catch the ball it hit him square in the face!" Armin and Eren try not to laugh while Hange breaks down into a fit of laughter.
"But wait, that's not the best part!" Erwin buts in and Levi growls. "They thought he was a kid! He was so short!" Erwin joins Hange in the laughter and soon Eren and Armin do as well, finding the thought hilarious. Levi clearly wasn't happy but he still finds the humor in it and cracks a smile.
"See, even Levi is laughing!" Hange says with a smile and points to him. She seemed to be laughing too hard because she fell out of her chair. Levi bursts out laughing, a trait not usually seen in Levi, the Assistant Chief of Police. Levi has always been serious but sometimes even he can crack a smile.
Mikasa enters her room and locks it and breaks down crying. She hates herself more than anything else in the world. She thought she hated Annie Leonhart the most but she was clearly wrong. After all, how could someone as worthless as Mikasa be as good as Annie Leonhart of all people? Mikasa crawls onto her bed and cries thinking about her day. She suddenly hears laughter erupt from downstairs, even hearing Eren and Armin laugh.
Why would they care how she feels anyway? Mikasa Ackerman is a mean, worthless, useless, and clingy bitch. Nobody could ever love her. Mikasa bites herself out of frustration. She leaves a mark on her arm, luckily she wears long sleeves so it won't be noticeable. Mikasa rummages through her drawers, looking for something until she hears a notification on her phone. She decides to take a look, hoping someone could take her out of these thoughts.
Sasha: Hi Mika! I'm sorry for what happened at lunch today, what Annie did is so fucked up
Mikasa smiled seeing the text from her friend. Well, she's not really a friend.
Mikasa: It's ok I guess. It's not like she's wrong.
Sasha: Mikasa Ackerman! Do not say that! Annie IS wrong and you know it! stop being so hard on yourself love!
Mikasa smiles looking at her phone. She loves Sasha with all her heart, they have been dating in secret for such a long time. Not even Eren and Armin knew, well... That was until Annie came along. Annie had seen one of their intense makeout sessions in the bathroom a few weeks ago and she hadn't said anything until today. When after an argument between Annie and Mikasa due to Annie saying unsavory things about Eren, Annie called Mikasa a faggot.
Mikasa: Thanks, Sasha. I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much.
Sasha: I love you too Mikasa, more than you'd ever realize. And please, stop being so hard on yourself. You're the best person I know. You're funny, REALLY strong, smart and you care about everyone you know. Be strong Mika, it'll all be over before you know it. Goodnight! Don't give up Mika!
Mikasa: Goodnight Sasha
Mikasa wanted to send I love you again but thought it sounded too clingy. She then laid down for ten minutes to think. The bad thoughts came back as quickly as they left. She bites her thumb to stop the thoughts from becoming too bad. She bit so hard that blood trickled from it. The taste of iron brought her back to the time she got the scar on her face.
She was just playing with Eren and Armin when they were 8 years old outside. Playing tag or something, she couldn't really remember very well. She was chasing Eren when she fell and hit her head on a spade her mother used in the garden. She didn't even cry at it, she didn't seem to care. But the blood trickled down and some fell into her mouth. She oddly felt comforted with the taste, she never understood why. She began sucking on her blood and slowly fell asleep. Or at least that would've happened if Armin and Eren hadn't banged on her bedroom door.
She got up and unlocked her door and opened it to see Armin and Eren smiling at her. Mikasa looked annoyed at being awoken by this. Armin puts his hand on the back of his neck and smiles sheepishly.
"Hey sorry we didn't come sooner, Levi wouldn't let us," Armin explained as the two walked in and sat on the bed. Mikasa closed the door and sits with them with her legs crossed.
"It's fine. I'm over it." She very clearly was not over it but neither wanted to say anything. Mikasa thinks for a moment about what she is going to say next. "Did you tell Levi?"
"Nope!" Both Armin and Eren smile and Salute her. A small smile creeps up on Mikasa's face.
"Thank you for having my back. I don't know what Uncle Levi would've done if he found out. He'd probably be angry with me." She says. Neither Armin nor Eren knew what to say, they're sure Levi wouldn't mind that she likes girls but they'd rather not take the chances.
"Let's hope tomorrow is a better day," Armin says and hugs Mikasa. Due to Eren being the awkward boy he is, he put a hand on Mikasa's back. Mikasa smiles at the gesture. They all curl up onto Mikasa's bed and fall asleep, only terrible thoughts on Mikasa's mind.
Tomorrow most certainly won't be a good day.