OPENING
Wiz: The king. An iconic leader within fantasy lore. He can be either a heroic figure like King Arthur, or fall to darkness and corruption and wage war.
Boomstick: These two are downright evil in their own realms, but now they are ready to march to war against each other.
Wiz: Sauron, the Dark Lord of Middle-Earth.
Boomstick: And Arthas Menethil, the Lich King of Azeroth. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
FIGHTER 1: SAURON
Boomstick: Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne. In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
Wiz: In Middle-Earth, the world has changed. It began with the forging of the great rings. Three were given to the elves: Immortal, wisest, and fairest of all beings. Seven to the dwarf lords: Great miners and crafters of the mountain halls.
Boomstick: And nine. Nine were gifted to the race of men, who above all else, desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each race.
Wiz: But they were all of them deceived. For another ring was made.
Boomstick: In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master ring to control all others. And into this ring, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life. This...was the One Ring. His Precious.
Wiz: But before he was the Dark Lord and the Lord of the Rings, Sauron was once a Maia known as Mairon, meaning "the admirable".
Boomstick: Yeah well, he's gonna get real admirable real soon. These Maiar guys were part of something called the Ainur, roughly translated, they were fantasy gods.
Wiz: Mairon served under Aule The Smith, responsible for fashioning and crafting the substances of which the world, known as Arda, was composed of. Both of them are of the Valar, the Powers of Arda who shaped and ruled the world.
Boomstick: Under Aule's tutelage, the young Marion learned much about the craft in forging and grew to be among the most powerful Maiar. He even became more powerful than Olorin and Curumo, which would later be known as wizards that said many shall not pass, and that they have chosen death.
Wiz: In his youth, Mairon was like all of his people that were created by Eru Illuvatar: Good at heart and uncorrupted. However, there was another that already held the title of Dark Lord before him: The primordial source of all evil in the universe, known as Ea. Melkor.
Boomstick: Aka Morgoth, because I can't choose which name sounds cooler. Anyway, Mairon was soon tainted by Melkor slash Morgoth, because he saw that within the guy was the will and power that would help him achieve his own goals and desires faster than if he pursued them alone. However, while Morgoth wanted to either control slash destroy Middle-earth itself, Mairon's desire was to dominate the minds and wills of its creatures instead.
Wiz: Ever since, Mairon remained falsely loyal to the Valar, and spied on the beings for his dark master. Only when Melkor established his strongholds did Mairon reveal his true allegiance and his new name: Sauron.
Boomstick: Cause that's what these Noldor Elves called him in the First Age. And he literally went from admirable to abhorred. The Sindar also called him Gorthaur "The Dread Abomination" The Cruel, but Sauron's way better. He even began donning that badass armor!
Wiz: In time, Sauron grew to become Melkore's greatest lieutenant, serving as Castellon of Angband during Melkore's reign in Utumno, but he managed to escape it during the War of the Powers. But in that conflict, the Valar managed to seize Melkore.
Boomstick: Sauron also conducted the War of the Jewels which led up to the end of the First Age while his master began corrupting humanity. And after Melkore returned, Sauron established a fortress of his own, Tol-in-Gaurhoth, on the Elvish Isle of Tor Sirion. And what only made it more awesome was that there were freaking werewolves! Has silver been invented yet?
Wiz: Sauron's power grew during the First Age thanks to his shapeshifting powers, allowing him to turn into both a werewolf and a vampire.
Boomstick: Ooo, a supernatural combo. I bet he got a lot of girls. Y'know, aside from the whole evil and destruction thing...eh, maybe not.
Wiz: However, Sauron would later lose this power as he became the direct enemy of Men. To end the line of leadership in the House of Beor, Sauron sought to eliminate Barahir, the next heir and ancestor of Aragorn. This would cripple the race of Men. After interrogating one of Barahir's men, Sauron was able to attack and kill the band of Men, yet Barahir's son, Beren, managed to survive.
Boomstick: And so the Baron began a quest for revenge, but then after meeting this elf girl called Luthien, he went on another for this thing called Silmaril, aka the Jewels of Feanor. But Sauron captured them and threw him to his werewolves, and the elf king Finrod managed to defend Beren with his life with martial skills and...singing? Well it wasn't completely lame, cause Luthy and this shapeshifter Huan managed to arrive just in time to kick ass! They even gave Sauron a run for his money and beat the crap out of him, too!
Wiz: After his defeat by Lúthien, Sauron played little part in the events of the First Age, possibly hiding from Morgoth's scorn or wrath.
Boomstick: Heh. Wuss.
Wiz: After his former master was defeated and taken to Valinor in chains, Sauron seemed to repent and plead Eönwë and the victorious Host of the West for mercy, although he may have only been daunted by their triumph. At the same time, Sauron was unwilling to return to the Utter West for judgment out of pride, and instead fled and hid somewhere in Middle-earth.
Boomstick: That is, until Age Number Two 500 years later, where things really began to get Peter Jackson-style epic! Melkor was thrown into the Void, leaving Sauron as the last Dark Lord. He established Barad-dur in Mordor, which could be considered Hell on Middle-Earth.
Wiz: Seeking to control Middle-Earth, he corrupted Men with delusions of power and wealth, then he built armies of orcs and trolls if he needed to march on the elves. He tried to control them as well, taking the form of an elf called Annatar, the Lord of Gifts. He befriended the Elf smiths of Eregion, including Celebrimbor (greatest of craftsmen, as he was descended from Fëanor), and counseled them in arts and magic. Not all the Elves trusted him, particularly Lady Galadriel, Elrond, and Gil-galad, High King of the Ñoldor.
Boomstick: And he gave them knowledge on how to forge Rings of Power, while he himself built and created the deadliest weapon on Middle-Earth, which would later become a Golem's most desired possession. All within Mount Doom. Well, it's more of a volcano, but Doom is dead-on accurate.
Wiz: Sauron's plan was simple: If he was able to get every leader of every race to wear one of his rings, he could dominate their minds and so control all peoples of Middle-Earth. But there were some...who resisted.
Boomstick: Yeah, the elves caught on quick about Annatar and yeeted those rings like they had all been divorced. Dwarves and Men, however, got greedy and power-hungry. Well, all the dwarves could think about was money money money. Hey, you think Mr. Krabs is a dwarf?
Wiz: As for Men themselves, they became Sauron's deadliest and cruelest servants: The Nazgul.
Boomsticks: Who rode freaking DRAGONS!
Wiz: Well, more like Fellbeasts, but Tolkien never directly used that term.
Boomsticks: Whatever, they're winged and they're rideable. Not all dragons breathe fire, you know!
Wiz: While most men were soon under Sauron's control, the elves weren't, so Sauron did the only thing he could.
Boomstick: Declaring WAR on those bitches! He nearly conquered the world and killed them all, and he would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling Men of the West! Sauron got his ass kicked again and was sent back to Mordor.
Wiz: Towards the end of the Second Age, Sauron was once again powerful enough to raise large armies again to attempt to rule Middle-earth. By this time, he assumed the titles of "Lord of the Earth" and "King of Men", which offended the Númenóreans; the powerful Men descended from those who had fought against Melkor in the War of Wrath. Some were the descendants, through Elros, of Beren and Lúthien.
Boomstick: Knowing his forces were powerless against those New More guys, Sauron was thrown into prison in Numenor, but used that imprisonment to his advantage, since he was a master manipulator and deceiver. So he'd destroy those suckers from within.
Wiz: After only a few short years in Númenor he grew from captive to the King's most trusted adviser, and nearly all the King's court fawned upon him. Drawing on their fear of death, he converted many Númenóreans to the worship of Morgoth, saying that Morgoth had the power to save them from mortality. As his power and influence reached its peak, he raised a great Temple in which he performed human sacrifices to Morgoth. Finally, he convinced Ar-Pharazôn to rebel against the Valar and attack Valinor itself and claim it for himself.
Boomstick: And that's when the meddlers struck again! Eru God Illuvatar made the world round and flooded Numenor, making it the fantasy Atlantis. Its army was utterly obliterated! But Sauron survived through soul, and built himself a new body! But at the cost of his shapeshifting abilities. Hey, at least he still had that armor!
Wiz: But it wasn't long until Sauron learned that Elendil, whom he most hated out of all Numenoreans, had managed to survive.
Boomstick: And boy, was he pissed! He struck a war with the Numenoreans, but it was a little too soon since he hadn't gotten back to his full power yet. Boy, would he regret that.
Wiz: A Last Alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Mordor. And on the slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle-Earth. Victory was near. But the power of the Ring could not be undone.
Boomstick: But one does not simply walk into Mordor, as these guys found out the really really hard way. Sauron was all like "Fine, I'll do it myself." and began smashing those mere mortals apart like they were rag dolls! Hell, he was even bigger than them! And he finally got a chance to kick his nemesis' ass.
Wiz: It was at this moment that all hope faded. That Isildur, son of the king, took up his father's sword.
Boomstick: Aw, dammit. Well, even though Sauron crushed that blade, Issy was still like "My name is Isildur! You killed my father! Prepare to die!" and sliced off Sauron's fingers, robbing him of his poor Precious.
Wiz: Sauron, the enemy of the free peoples of Middle-Earth, was defeated. Yet still, he managed to live on.
Boomstick: The only way to destroy the One Ring was by tossing it into the hellish fires of Mount Doom from whence it came, but the supposed "hero" of Middle-Earth was still a mere man, and corrupted by the evil wedding ring, he failed to cast it into the fire and instead kept it to himself. Boy, that turned out great.
Wiz: Despite his defeat, Sauron was not vanquished permanently. Though greatly weakened, and in non-corporeal form, he still existed, due to pouring most of his native power, strength, and will into the One Ring. Thus, as long as it existed, he could never be truly defeated, and during the first thousand years of the Third Age, he lay in hiding, slowly recovering his strength until he was once again able to create a body for himself.
Boomstick: He managed to take the stronghold of Dol Guldur, and took the form of a dark sorcerer known as The Necromancer. He even fooled the Elves where his Avatar elf form failed!
Wiz: Five Istari wizards, one being Gandalf, were also sent to oppose Sauron and rally the people of Middle-Earth against him. But given the status, they already believed the Dark Lord to be dead. Gandalf, however, still believed Sauron had returned, and so he infiltrated Dol Guldur to confirm his theory.
Boomstick: But the Dark Lord wussed out again and fled to the east to conceal his identity, but came back three years later. Meanwhile, two Hobbits found a mysterious ring, prompting one to kill the other and call that ring "My Precious".
Wiz: Ten years later, Gandalf managed to make a second intrusion in Dol Guldur and his theory was proven correct. Without the Ring in his possession and facing the power of the three Elven rings, Sauron could draw on only the smallest fraction of his strength, so that his enemies were able to drive him from Dol Guldur with relative ease. However, the Dark Lord, having had ample time to prepare, abandoned Dol Guldur willingly, and returned to Mordor, where he openly declared himself, and began preparations for his final war against the free peoples of Middle-earth.
Boomstick: So he gathered an army of corrupted Men and Orcs from the east and south, as well as some Nazgul and Ringwraiths, and even became a giant fire eye atop Barad-dur that could see through space and time! Man, you'd think that thing would have problems with depth perception, but no dice! The Eye of Sauron the Terrible few could endure.
Wiz: After the creature Gollum, originally the stoor-hobbit Sméagol who had originally found the ring, was captured, Sauron had him tortured and learned that he once had a magic ring, and, from him, he heard the words Shire and Baggins. He deduced that Gollum's ring was the One Ring, and sent his servants, the dreaded Nazgûl, to find Shire and search for Baggins, so that the One Ring might be found and returned to him.
Boomstick: He even managed to corrupt Saruman, and he managed to create these super orcs called Uruk-hai. Sauron used this and his new white wizard to try and destroy Rohan, one of the major obstacles to Sauron's conquest of Gondor and the remaining Elves. But it failed miserably and he lost that race of super warriors.
Wiz: Shortly after Saruman's defeat, Peregrin Took looked into the Palantír that the wizard had possessed and accidentally communicated with Sauron, who believed that his treacherous servant had captured either the Halflings bearing the Ring, or some who might know of it. But shortly thereafter Aragorn took the Palantir and revealed himself to Sauron, and seeing Aragorn, the Dark Lord concluded that Saruman had fallen and that the heir of Isildur possessed the One Ring. Fearing that his enemies would use the Ring against him, Sauron sped up his plans and attacked the city of Minas Tirith in Gondor sooner than he had planned, seeking to raze the city and crush the last human resistance to his rule before his enemies could fortify it, and to prevent Men uniting under one king.
Boomstick: Yeah, long story short, Hobbit saw through a magical communication stone, Dark Lord discovered that King Arthur was on the verge of rising, and became desperate to get that ring back, or else his wife would be pissed. But the attack on Minus Trench failed miserably.
Wiz: Despite still possessing more than enough armies to destroy Minas Tirith and enough military strength to easily conquer Middle-earth once Gondor fell, doubt began to grow in Sauron. As such, he watched and waited, hoping for a period of strife between Aragorn and other potential Ringlords in which he could move out and take the Ring for himself.
Boomstick: Despite their successful repulsion of Sauron's armies at Minas Tirith, Gandalf and Aragorn knew that the bulk of Sauron's forces remained in Mordor, readying themselves for another, deadlier strike against the city. Filled as Mordor was with Sauron's troops, the hobbit known as Frodo, who had the One Ring stood almost no chance of reaching Mount Doom undetected. In light of the situation, Aragorn called for a council consisting of the major commanders of all the forces present in Minas Tirith, and appointed Gandalf to be their commander until the crisis had passed.
Wiz: Gandalf made it clear to all those present that, despite their great victory, they ultimately could not hope to defeat Sauron's armies by force. Therefore, they had two options available. They could station their remaining force, considerably greater than it had been before the battle due to the reinforcements from Rohan and southern Gondor, at Minas Tirith and hope to endure Sauron's next attack. Or, they could take a force to the Black Gate and attempt to challenge Sauron directly.
Boomstick: What they needed was a diversion for Sauron to take the bait. It was highly risky and downright suicidal, but some things are better than surrender. And Gandalf summarized that once Sauron learned that a force too small to pose any real threat to him was on its way to the Black Gate to directly assault Mordor, he would likely believe that the leader of the attacking force would have the One Ring in their possession. Sauron would assume that the Ring itself would influence its wielder, who, in his pride and overconfidence in his newfound power, might be foolish enough to challenge Sauron's might with a force too small to assault Mordor in earnest. Plain english, he'd think they're stupid. Well what's stupid about a diverion-created downfall, bitch?!
Wiz: Ultimately, the plan worked. Sauron marshalled most of his remaining forces and marched them towards Udûn to crush the Men of the West and regain his prize. This action left the Plains of Gorgoroth largely unguarded, allowing Frodo and Sam to reach Mount Doom with far less difficulty than otherwise.
Boomstick: But then Frodo pulled an Isildur and wanted to have his Precious all to himself. Dammit! So close! All that greed and putting the ring on and he still didn't become an Orange Lantern! Oh wait, his Precious? There can only be one Lord of the Ring.
Wiz: Immediately, Sauron became aware of the halfling, and turned his gaze towards the mountain. He frantically sent the Ringwraiths to retrieve the Ring, but was too late, as Gollum, after taking the Ring from Frodo, slipped and fell to his death into the Cracks of Doom. The Ring was unmade.
Boomstick: Those midgets foiled his plans for the last time, as Mount Doom blew up, the Nazgul were killed, and the eye was blinded once the tower fell.
Wiz: With the destruction of the Ring, the vast majority of Sauron's being and his power was forever lost. With that, Sauron's power was forever crippled, and the threat of his dominion was forever removed.
Boomstick: Still, there's no denying that this cursed suit of armor was downright badass. He could shapeshift, burn the Elf King Gil-galad just by touching him, and was so strong that he could swing that war mace of his to send the army of Men and Elves flying! He even one-shot his New More nemesis and could reform physical bodies.
(Cut to Wiz and Boomstick, with Wiz unaware that Boomstick has gone invisible)
Wiz: However, Sauron's most deadliest weapon is the One Ring itself. With it, he can enslave others who were the other 19 to his will, but he will not turn invisible like normal people can when they put it on. Sauron, being the One Ring's creator, is also immune to its mind control, as the ring is even stated to have a will of its very own.
(in a panic, Boomstick yanks the ring off and throws it)
Boomstick: (panting) The eye! It was everywhere! And that voice! Oh god!
Wiz: Uh...ahem, one potentially positive effect was that the Ring may have granted the wearer some understanding of the speech of evil creatures. While wearing it, Samwise Gamgee was able to understand the Black Speech of the Orcs in Mordor. It also sharpens one's senses.
Boomstick: What's even freakier is that the ring is also an extension of Sauron himself! It always seeks to return to him no matter what! And the dude can also channel the element of fire! Like how he can smash his weapon into the ground so hard, it creates a mini volcano! Like Morgoth, he's also capable of altering the physical substance of the world around him by mere effort of will. And thanks to the One Ring's senses, Sauron is freakishly stronger than before, where he was already more than superhuman!
Popup: In The Battle Of The Five Armies, Sauron also forged an alliance with the fire drake Smaug, who managed to overthrow the Dwarven kingdom of the Lonely Mountain.
Wiz: It's actually quite difficult to decide the full power of Sauron and what he can do, since it is stated that the extent, nature, and specifics of Sauron's power are largely left to the imagination.
Boomstick: Alright then, keep your secrets.
Wiz: The philosopher Peter J. Kreeft even proposed that Sauron is in fact the main character of The Lord of the Rings, inasmuch as he has the largest significance to the work of good and evil in the story, given his shared essence with the Ring; and given the title's referral to him.
Boomstick: But there IS one great downside. If the One Ring is destroyed, he is destroyed too! Well, he permanently loses his physical form and is forever prevented from rising again. Luckily, shattering the ring with a weapon won't do so good, since there's only one way the ring can be destroyed for good.
Wiz: With such dark and malevolent power, it's no wonder that the Dark Lord Sauron was such a force to be reckoned with.
Sauron: I see you…
FIGHTER 2: THE LICH KING
Wiz: Azeroth. The World of Warcraft. Throughout most of its existence, war was all it knew. Most famously, an endless conflict between the Alliance and the Horde.
Boomstick: You had your Men, Orcs, Elves, Dwarfs, Werewolves, Kung Fu Pandas, Gnomes that were NOT lawn decorations, mischievous Goblins, Zombies, voodoo Trolls, indian Minotaurs, alien dragon people, demons, and of course, dragons.
Wiz: But at the start of the Third War, there were not just two powers, but a third. One that would bring about an icy chilling death. One that the Forsaken would have a dark history with. This...was the Scourge.
Boomstick: And not the green doppelganger of an Archie hedgehog. These guys were freaking warrior zombies of death! And they quickly rose to the greatest threat Azeroth ever faced! All being led by their Lord and leader, the Lich King.
Wiz: To be fair, there have been about three Lich Kings, but we'll be focusing on the most iconic. Before he became the second Lich King, the Prince of Darkness was once known as-.
Boomstick: LEROOOOOOYYYYY JEEEEENKINSSSSSS!
Wiz: Boomstick!
Boomstick: What? At least I had chicken.
Wiz: (sighs) The Prince of Darkness was once known as Arthas Menethil, crown prince of the Alliance kingdom of Lordaeron.
Boomstick: The future King Arthur was a proud young man, trained in the ways of warfare and righteousness. He was taught the ways of swordplay by Muradin Bronzebeard, and the ways of the paladin by Uther the Lightbringer.
Wiz: By the time he was nineteen, Arthas was inducted into the Order of the Silver Hand to become a paladin himself. Though he was headstrong and stubborn, he distinguished himself as a brave hero and never shirked even the most dangerous tasks.
Boomstick: He even had a beautiful friendship with future water mage Jaine Proudmoore, but both were more focused on their individual ambitions and were forced to part ways. So much for getting a princess.
Wiz: But trouble was beginning to stir in Lordaeron. Orcs broke free of their internment camps, and there was distressing news of a plague that had gripped the northlands. Arthas and Uther were sent to Strahnbrad to defend the town from orcish raids. The young prince defeated the black drake Searinox to retrieve its heart for the dwarf Feranor Steeltoe to forge into an orb of fire. Arthas used this magical item to help defeat the orcs and kill the Blackrock Clan's blademaster leading the raids.
Boomstick: However, weeks later a more vile threat arose in the form of the plague of undeath. Jaina and Captain Falric were sent to join Arthas, now 24 years old, in order to investigate the strange plague. They fought an undead army at a plague-infested granary. They encountered the necromancer Kel'Thuzad in the town of Brill and pursued him to Andorhal.
Wiz: Kel'Thuzad had already infected the stored grain in Andorhal and shipped it out to outlying villages. Before Arthas killed him, Kel'Thuzad spoke of Mal'Ganis, a Nathrezim demon who led the Scourge. Thus, Jaina and Arthas traveled north to confront him in Stratholme.
Boomstick: But while resting at Hearthglen Village, Arthas was horrified that not only was this plague killing people, it was also turning them into zombies!
Wiz: Arthas only grew more determined to stop this plague whatever means necessary. While traveling to Stratholme, Arthas was met by the enigmatic prophet Medivh. He gave him the same advice he gave Terenas — to travel west to Kalimdor. Arthas argued that his place was with his people, and vowed that he would not abandon them. Jaina suggested that the prophet might be right, but Arthas paid her no heed and continued to Stratholme. However, when he got there, he discovered that the grain had already been distributed, and knew that the villagers would soon become minions of the Scourge. So, in an act of mercy, he had himself, Uther, and his knights do the only thing they could.
Boomstick: Kill the shit out of them!
Wiz: Horrified by such an act, Uther, Jaina, and several others refused. Thus, Arthas had the Knights of the Silver Hand disbanded, proclaiming that Uther had committed treason. As he laid waste to the city, Arthas was met by Mal'Ganis himself, who was working to claim the souls of the townsfolk. Arthas worked to destroy them before Mal'Ganis could reach them. Finally, Arthas demanded a final showdown with the dreadlord. Mal'Ganis slipped away, however, vowing to meet him in Northrend.
Boomstick: He then set the city on fire, and the legends say the flames still burn to this day.
Wiz: However, on that fateful day, something snapped in Arthas. His inability to stop the plague sent him down the cold lonely road he would soon follow. Already, with this horrible act, he had sealed his fate…
Boomstick: Arthas and those still loyal to him ventured to Northrend, where they reunited with Muradin, whose explorer's guild was searching for a legendary runeblade known as Frostmourne, which may or may not be WOW's Soul Edge. But when daddy had a messenger tell Arthas to return home, that stubborn little bitch burned all his boats! Damn, there's being stubborn, and there's being Arthas.
Wiz: When his men arrived, Arthas betrayed his mercenaries, accusing them of destroying the ships, and the Captain had them killed, much to the disgust of Muradin. Arthas told his men that they had no means of going home, and the only way they were leaving Northrend was through victory. There was no going back now.
Boomstick: Using an ancient waygate, Arthas, Muradin, and a small group of men traveled to the vicinity of the fabled runeblade. Arthas was soon confronted by the Guardian, who tried to keep him from Frostmourne, apparently for his own protection. The Guardian fell, and Arthas and Muradin went forward to their prize. But after reading an inscription on the pedestal the blade was on, Muradin realized that oh shit, maybe this blade was pretty dangerous. But Arthas, STILL being the stubborn bastard, had the weapon freed and Muradin was struck by a shard of ice. And instead of helping his old mentor, Arthas just picked up Frostmourne and left the dwarf to die! I think we're seeing an Anakin scenario. Or Siegfried.
Popup: Muradin was not killed by the shard of ice, but rather lost his memories. Luckily, he was found and nursed back to health by dwarves who lived in Northrend, and later regained his memories.
Wiz: With this newfound blade, Arthas confronted Mal'Ganis and slew him, all while hearing a voice in his head. The voice of the Lich King himself.
Boomstick: That dude was an Orc Shaman named Ner'zhul, who saw Arthas as the perfect guy to be his champion so that the Scourge could finally break free from the shackles of this demon army called the Legion. And due to being tormented and betrayed by this Legion demon Kil'jaeden, Ner'zhul clearly wanted to kill his ass.
Wiz: Slaying the dreadlord, Arthas fled into the frozen north, leaving his troops to fend for themselves. Arthas soon lost the last remnants of sanity.
Boomstick: That's because he had become a Death Knight, who uses powerful runes to cast spells and abilities! And they've got three distinct specializations as well! Blood Death Knights can take life energy and use it to heal themselves, Frost Death Knights are literal cold-blooded killing machines, and Unholy Death Knights summon the dead to do their bidding! But given his status, I'd say it's likely that Arthas could use all three of them!
Wiz: Arthas returned home a hero, the people believing that he had saved them from the Scourge once and for all. However, what he did next after kneeling to his father sealed the fate of his kingdom, and his name, for good.
Boomstick: He killed his own dad and had his undead icy zombie army attack Lord City, and not even the Alliance could stop these guys! Damn, that's cold. Literally…
Wiz: Thus, in just a few minutes, Lordaeron belonged to the Scourge.
Boomstick: And that was just the start of Arthas' playthrough as his Death Knight character! Not only did he snuff out any resistance in his city and kill his second mentor, but he also attacked the elf city of Quel'Thalas, corrupted their Sunwell, revived his first major kill as a lich, and killed Sylvanus Windrunner, thus sealing her fate, making her a banshee, and thus paving a dark road ahead for the Horde with a new future Warcheif.
Wiz: Still, that would have to be when Sylvanus would break free from the Lich King's control, which won't be for a while…
Boomstick: Arthas and his new ally then headed over to Dalaran, and Kel summoned the demon lord Archimonde, who then proceeded to blow the floating city up.
Wiz: Archimonde left a trio of dreadlords behind in the ruined palace gardens of Lordaeron to ensure that the nation remained under control, and to watch over the cunning servitors of Ner'zhul. When the demon lord was defeated, however, they were not originally aware of it. This changed several months later, when Arthas returned to reclaim his throne. He threatened the dreadlords, who immediately fled, and then called Sylvanas and Kel'Thuzad to his side. Together they crushed the remaining human refugees in the area, who were led by the paladins Halahk the Lifebringer, Magroth the Defender, and Dagren the Orcslayer. However, during the climax of the battle, Arthas had a painful seizure, and felt the Lich King calling out to him. Despite his diminished powers, Arthas fought on until all the remaining humans were killed.
Boomstick: But the LK's power was waning, and Sylvanus managed to break free among the many Death Knights that were regaining their free will. She betrayed Arthas in vengeance by shooting him with a paralyzing arrow, but Kel managed to thwart her from going through with her plans. Heeding his master's call, Arthas went back to Northrend.
Wiz: Three weeks later, Arthas landed upon the familiar coast of Northrend, and unexpectedly found himself being attacked by blood elves led by Kael'thas, hungry for vengeance at their kingdom's destruction. Arthas was unexpectedly saved by a large crypt lord who introduced himself as Anub'arak, the former king of Azjol-Nerub. Kael'thas warned that though the preliminary scouting force may have fallen, their main army would not be so easily defeated, before teleporting away to safety.
Boomstick: And Arthy had his hands full, too! He managed to corrupt the blue dragon Sapphiron, fought Muradin's second-in-command Baelgun, slew some Faceless Ones, and even managed to defeat the incredibly powerful Forgotten One. All with the help of that Anubis guy!
Wiz: As they climbed out of Azjol-Nerub, the Lich King contacted Arthas once again, and explained that he was losing his power, because the Frozen Throne had been cracked, and energy was seeping from it. Ner'zhul replenished Arthas' powers, knowing he would need them in the coming battle.
Boomstick: That battle came quick, and Arthas clashed with the demon hunter Illidan Stormrage, who he managed to kill. But to max out his character, complete his quest, and level up to his class' ultimate form, Arthas needed to restore the Lich King's power...by becoming the Lich King.
Wiz: So, Arthas approached an icy cask. Inside was a suit of armor, arranged as if seated on a massive throne. Following Ner'zhul's orders, he shattered the Frozen Throne and placed the Helm of Domination, the source of the Lich King's powers, upon his head. In that moment, Ner'zhul and Arthas' spirits fused into a single mighty being, just as the Lich King had always planned. Arthas as a single being ceased to exist, now one half of one of the most powerful entities Azeroth had ever known, the new Lich King.
Boomstick: And he sat. He sat down for years as his two minds duked it out. No longer was the Scourge one with the Legion. Ner'zhul had his revenge, but was ultimately betrayed and slain by his champion, who never wanted to perform that stupid ass Fusion Dance.
Wiz: Thus, when the Lich King awoke, only Arthas remained. Afterwards he journeyed to Sindragosa's Fall where he raised the ancient massive dragon Sindragosa, the first consort to Malygos, as a frost wyrm, then watched his massive undead army prepare for war, as he believed that an army of death was suitable and necessary to fight back against threats that would conquer or destroy Azeroth, such as demonic and even eldritch forces. The drums of war thunder once again.
Boomstick: And he then proceeded to kick the shit out of both the Alliance and Horde. The Scourge continued to grow in numbers, forcing the humans and orcs to put aside old rivalries for the greater good. Dark Arthur managed to drive the Scarlet Crusade out of Lordaeron, let alone kill them, but it was at the Battle for Light's Hope Chapel that led to the creation of two of the Lich King's greatest enemies: Tirion Fordring's Argent Crusade, a combination of the Argent Dawn and Silver Hand, and Darion Mograine's Knights of the Ebon Blade, an order of death knights who broke free from the Lich King's control.
Wiz: But at the Battle of Angrathar the Wrathgate, vengeance against Arthas within the Forsaken grew too powerful, and they betrayed the Horde they served. Their New Plague not only killed all life, but also undid the effects of the Scourge.
Boomstick: The plague killed most of the Alliance, Horde, and Scourge forces at the Wrathgate indiscriminately, including Bolvar Fordragon and Dranosh Saurfang. R.I.P., beloved son. You have earned your warriors' death.
Wiz: Yet seven years of cold war reignited between the two factions was not enough to deter them. The Argent Tournament, created for the purpose of a small concentrated strike force instead of an all-out assault, resulted in the formation of the Ashen Verdict, a unity between the two forces formed at the Battle of Light's Hope Chapel. After intelligence spoke of an opening directly to the Lich King's private chambers, Jaina Proudmoore led adventurers from the Alliance while Sylvanas Windrunner led adventurers from the Horde into the Frozen Halls. While Jaina hoped to find a little trace of Arthas left in the Lich King, Sylvanas planned to simply sneak past all of the Lich King's defenses while he was preoccupied with the Ashen Verdict invasion and claim her revenge. Once inside they discovered that the Lich King had left Frostmourne unattended within the Halls of Reflection. Both Jaina and Sylvanas attempted to speak with the spirits of the blade in an attempt to find the Lich King's weakness, and both were met by the spirit of Uther the Lightbringer. Uther warned that the Lich King could see what Frostmourne saw and was on his way. Uther finally told them that any trace of Arthas was simply a fading presence inside the Lich King's mind, and that to destroy him, he must be slain at the place where Arthas merged with Ner'zhul, at the top of the Frozen Throne. Finally, Uther revealed that after the Lich King is slain, someone must take his place - without a master to keep them in check, the vast armies of the Scourge would indiscriminately swarm across Azeroth.
Boomstick: Damn. The cycle never ends…
Wiz: When the Lich King arrived in the hall, he banished Uther's soul back into Frostmourne and called his loyal captains Falric and Marwyn to deal with the intruders. He returned to his private chambers, followed by Sylvanas and Jaina. Once the adventurers defeated the captains, their respective leaders, unable to do any meaningful harm to the Lich King, ordered them to flee. Seemingly trapped, they made a final stand before their respective gunships, The Skybreaker and Orgrim's Hammer, arrived to carry them to safety.
Boomstick: And that's when the players arrived at Icecrown Citadel just in time for the final boss fight! Led by Tirion, these Champions battled the Lich King in an epic battle. Buuut then Arthas froze Tirion and then killed all the players. So...game over?
Wiz: The Lich King revealed that he had been waiting for Tirion's assault all along, knowing that he would bring with him Azeroth's greatest heroes, who could then be killed and resurrected as powerful masters of the Scourge. Every obstacle he had laid before them was merely part of his test. Now certain Tirion's champions were "the greatest fighting force this world has ever known", the Lich King began to raise the fallen heroes. Before he could finish, Fordring, calling for a final blessing from the Light, managed to break free and shatter Frostmourne with his own sword, Ashbringer, much to the Lich King's shock. The spirits who had been trapped within Frostmourne, including King Terenas Menethil II, attacked their former jailer by suspending him in the air while simultaneously resurrecting Fordring's champions, who were then able to defeat the Lich King.
Boomstick: Yes! Extra lives! Those ghosts, daddy included, then shows Arthas the cold true meaning of karma, even knocking off that damn helm once and for all!
Wiz: As he lay dying, the spirit of his father appeared before him as the glow brought on by his fusion with Ner'zhul faded from his eyes. With his soul freed and his connection with the Lich King severed, Arthas was returned to his former self, albeit in his dying moments. Arthas asked his father if it was over, to which Terenas placed a comforting hand over Arthas' and replied "At long last. No king rules forever, my son." Arthas said that he saw only darkness before him, with his eyes rolling back and his hand falling lifelessly to the ground - ending the life of Arthas Menethil once and for all.
Boomstick: Tirion chose to become the new Lich King, but Bolvar, managing to resist Arthas' call, volunteered as tribute instead.
Wiz: As his final act of service, Bolvar would take the powers of the Lich King himself, in order to keep the damned in check. Tirion reluctantly placed the crown of the Lich King on Bolvar's head. As the ice of the Frozen Throne began to envelop him, Bolvar - now the new Lich King - told Tirion to tell the world that the Lich King is dead, and as his voice changed to one similar of the Lich King, added that Bolvar Fordragon died with him and to leave and never return.
Boomstick: And thus, the reign of the Lich King was brought to an end forever! Well, until Sylvanus destroyed the Helm of Dominance and literally unleashed hell. Whoops?
Wiz: As the Lich King, Arthas is ruthless, cynical, and unimaginably cruel. He even considers his own army as worthless cannon fodder and HATES the living, moreso to those that oppose him.
(Cut to Wiz and Boomstick, with Boomstick trying out Frostmourne)
Popup: A debate that has arisen among fans is whether the Lich King can be classified as a god. His origins lie with Kil'jaeden, but his power has continued to increase at an exponential rate beyond Kil'jaeden's intentions.
Boomstick: And Frostmourne is a powerful weapon as well. It has the ability to drain life from its victims and the soul of anyone whom it connects to. Huh. So it IS Soul Edge!
(Realizing what he just said, Boomstick tries to get rid of the sword as Wiz continues speaking)
Wiz: The Lich King is also capable of seeing through the eyes and hearing through the ears of anyone who wields Frostmourne, and this ability cannot be stopped by any mortal means. The Lich King can communicate with the wielder at will telepathically, on any plane and at any distance. The Lich King uses this ability to try and corrupt the wielder over time. This has several effects. An individual who wields Frostmourne will not part with it willingly. Over time the person will go from good to neutral and finally to evil. A non-undead evil wielder will then become undead. Finally the sword is able to suck the being's soul into the sword. Frostmourne then retains the memories and skills of its victim. In fact, as long as the wielder's original body remains within one mile of Frostmourne, the sword maintains control of the body, and he may not be completely aware that his consciousness has shifted to the weapon. Beyond one mile, the sword cannot control the wielder's body, and the wielder of course finally becomes quite aware of his current state if he is not already.
(Having nearly suffered these same characteristics, Boomstick manages to throw the sword away)
Boomstick: So it's like if an evil ring was a real weapon. And the Lich King can also possess a soulless body that comes in contact with him and Frostmourne at the same time. The soul within Frostmourne is destroyed unless it willingly merges with the Lich King, becoming lost as a separate entity for all eternity. If a soul merges with the Lich King, he gains all the skills and memories of the victim. He has only done this one time with Arthas.
Popup: Theoretical stats for Frostmourne as a World of Warcraft item were shown during the Lore Panel at BlizzCon 2007, likely as a joke. Thus, those stats will not be counted.
Wiz: Frostmourne allows Arthas to deal chaos damage, which is fully effective against all types of armor, including that of buildings and divine beings.
Boomstick: He can even wield this artifact-level bastard runeblade effortlessly, despite its size and weight. It slices through most opponents with minimal resistance, and shatters most weapons it comes in contact with, including the elven runeblade Felo'melorn. Those slain by Frostmourne have their souls drawn into the weapon. And given that there are three thousand of them in that blade, if this thing grows stronger the more souls it eats, I'd say this is boss tier!
Wiz: The Helm may have been destroyed, but there's no denying how the Lich King both tainted the bloodline of Menethil and became the greatest force of evil Azeroth has ever faced...so far.
The Lich King: You speak of justice? Of cowardice? I will show you the justice of the grave... and the true meaning of fear.
BATTLE:
W: Alright, the combatants are set! And we've run the data through all possibilities! Let's end this debate once and for all!
B: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLEEEEEEE!
…
(Lords Of War - Brandon Yates)
In the land of Mordor, Middle-Earth Orcs and Azeroth Orcs wage a heavy battle, with Mount Doom seen in the distance as warriors continue pouring out of the Dark Portal.
Middle-Earth Orcs: (In Black Speech) For Sauron!
Azeroth Orcs: (In Orcish) For the Horde!
Spectating the battle from the slopes above, Sauron only laughs as he summons Mount Doom to erupt, firing out massive balls of lava. Orcs on both sides are caught in the fire, with all of Azeroth's orcs dying. Suddenly, the Dark Portal's gateway goes from red to blue as the Scourge begins to seep in. Fires die out and are replaced with ice. All fallen warriors rise back up as Death Knights, letting out a vicious roar.
Lich King Arthas then emerges from the Dark Portal, Frostmourne in hand. Still willing to die for their master, the Middle-Earth Orcs charge at the Death Knights, only to more easily join their ranks.
Unamused, Sauron leaps down, war mace at the ready, once the last of his minions fall. Effortlessly, he easily destroys them all as Death Knight corpses are sent flying. The final hit is blocked by Frostmourne when only Arthas is left standing.
Arthas: Azeroth is not yours to conquer.
Sauron: You are but of Men. It is you that shall serve me.
As their weapons clash, the landscape on Arthas' side grows frozen and deathly cold, while Sauron's side grows more fiery and hellish.
DB Announcer: Fight!
As more of their armies emerge to continue their war and battle, the two lords and kings continue trading blows. Sauron catches Frostmourne before slamming his mace into Arthas' side, sending him tumbling. The Dark Lord then smashes his weapon into the ground, causing fiery cracks and miniature volcanoes to erupt. Stabbing Frostmourne into the ground, the Lich King manages to freeze the ground, extinguishing the flames. A massive frost wyrm then swoops down with a roar to devour Sauron, but a simple swing of his mace smashes it to bony pieces.
The One Ring then glows brightly on Sauron's armored finger as he clenches his mace. Arthas only adjusts his Helm of Domination as he readies Frostmourne. The two charge and clash once more, but Arthas manages to land a strong punch to Sauron's helmet, damaging it. The Dark Lord cries out in pain and staggers back, having lost sight of his foe.
Preparing for a stealth attack, Arthas is suddenly blinded by the searing light of the Eye of Sauron.
Sauron: There you are…
Using Frostmourne, Arthas redirects the light right at Sauron, who roars out again as the light blinds him. The two continue their battle, all with the Eye spectating them.
Frost Wyrms and Fellbeasts clash above as Nazguls and Ringwraiths battle the Death Knights. Where one soldier falls and becomes an undead, ten more take its place. Mace and Runeblade clash once more.
Sauron: You fight like a Hobbit…
Arthas: And you like Legion scum!
Sauron kicks Arthas on his chest, knocking him onto his back. The Lich King then dodges a leaping slam, leaving the mace stuck in the ground. Growling, Sauron blocks Frostmourne before punching Arthas, stunning him as Sauron rips his mace from the earth. He then dodges another strike, and Arthas uses his magic to rip up three pillars of rock from the ground. Sauron dodges the first, rolls under the second, and smashes the last one with his mace.
Arthas then stabs Frostmourne into the ground, conjuring up a blizzard that blocks Sauron's view. However, thanks to being able to see from the Eye of Sauron, the Dark Lord is able to be unaffected and easily dodge the Lich King's ambush strikes. However, he fails to notice an oncoming pillar and is struck by it.
Arthas dismisses the blizzard and Sauron stands back up, having only been knocked down to a knee. With a raised mace, Sauron has a catapult fire a massive boulder at Arthas, whose rune magic in his sword helps block the projectile, but not fully.
Arthas is knocked to the ground from the attack, and Sauron approaches.
Sauron: Ash nazg durbatulûk…
Arthas uses rune magic to freeze Sauron, but he manages to easily smash free.
Sauron: Ash nazg gimbatul…
Arthas reaches for Frostmourne, but when he grabs it, Sauron stomps on the blade, breaking it.
Sauron: Ash nazg thrakatulûk…
As Sauron reaches forth, Arthas swings his broken blade, but only ends up hitting the One Ring, which does nothing. Upon contact, Arthas begins to yell as he feels the burning touch.
Sauron: Agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
The image of the Eye of Sauron burns in Arthas' mind as he is viciously burned to death by Sauron's black touch. Finally, with a single fist, Sauron crushes Arthas' head, breaking his skull and the Helm of Domination.
As the Lich King falls dead to the ground, Sauron only lifts up the Helm of Dominance. The One Ring glows, telling its master that the helm is not of his will. Thus, Sauron only drops the Helm and then crushes it under his foot.
With the Helm destroyed and their king having been slain, the Death Knights at first are freed from Arthas' control, but then drop dead once more. As the Mordor forces roar out in victory, Sauron and his flaming Eye turn their gaze to the Dark Portal, which had been sealed shut after the Scourge's arrival.
Waving his hand and the One Ring glowing, Sauron reopens the Dark Portal, this time glowing a violent fiery red. He and the Mordor forces then march through, ready to conquer Azeroth.
Meanwhile, as the last of the forces leave, a small humanoid figure emerges from nearby cover, having spotted the One Ring on Sauron's finger.
Gollum: My...Precious…
Unseen, he follows Sauron through the Dark Portal.
RESULTS:
DB Announcer: KO!
Boomstick: Well, I guess Middle-Earth is stuck with the Scourge plague now. Meanwhile, Azeroth is in some deep shit.
Wiz: The Lich King was indeed the most powerful enemy Azeroth had ever faced, but deep down inside, he was still human. Meanwhile, Sauron, being a Maia and thus an Ainur, was immortal.
Boomstick: Both needed to have their respective items destroyed to truly kill them, and there was only one way Arthie could destroy that ring. Still, even if he COULD force the fight into Mount Doom, Sauron's not losing that ring that easily. And no doubt that Frostmourne's soul-sucking powers would work on him!
Wiz: Arthas DID have the advantage on armies, as he could turn Sauron's own forces against him once they fell to his Scourge plague. And he could also be immune to the One Ring's corruption since he technically already was corrupted.
Boomstick: It may not have been a Ring out, but no one will Frost-mourne their tyrant king.
Wiz: The winner is Sauron.