I've been thinking about making this into a comic, but I keep dragging my feet about it. So I'm just going to post this here, at least. Enjoy…

I am Lord Voldemort

Chapter 1

In the aftermath of Harry Potter's infiltration of the Ministry of Magic, all the Death Eaters were in fear of their lives. The Dark Lord was furious, the locket of Salazar Slytherin, one of his precious Horcruxes, is in the boy's possession. Though Voldemort sensed that the locket was taken out of its original hiding spot years ago, he did not sense that the locket was in any immediate danger and prioritized taking over the Magic world. That was, until he had received some troubling news.

A Death Eater had reported Potter's presence at the Ministry and had slipped through Yaxley's grasp. Harry's purpose there was thought to be to rescue any mudbloods that were scheduled for "processing" but failed. Voldemort didn't believe that to be the case, the boy wouldn't dare take such a needless gamble for a plan that would ultimately fail. However, the Death Eater reported that he saw Harry Potter confront a witch and take a necklace off her. Describing the necklace as a locket with an "S" on it, the Dark Lord feared that the boy may have stumbled onto his secret. He angrily ordered the Death Eater to summon Yaxley and the witch that had his Horcrux and was awaiting them both at Malfoy Manor.

In the manor, Voldemort awaited Yaxley and the witch, apparently named Umbridge, with a broken Lucius Malfoy in the corner of his own living room. Nagini is in her crib, asleep after her meal, and a fire a light in the hearth. When Yaxley arrived, he was followed by two Snatchers flanking the sides of Umbridge, an old woman looking more haggard than usual and in a sickening pink attire.

"I beg your forgiveness, my lord," Yaxley began, his head bowed, "For both letting Potter escape and for making you wait. We were finally able to restore Umbridge from her stunning jinx."

Voldemort just turned around, Elder Wand in hand and in full view to show his intentions. "I don't care to hear your groveling right now, Yaxley," the Dark Lord roared. "I want to speak to this no-name witch whose incompetence cost me my locket."

In awe of having an audience with the Voldemort, Umbridge trembled uncontrollably as she kneeled. Forcing some semblance of speech, she finally asked, "W-W-What have… I done to… earn your ire? My Lord?"

"You let Harry Potter slip right under your nose and take my locket!" Voldemort angrily shouted. "I want to know how you, a witch I've never even heard of, somehow got my locket!"

"Y-Your locket?" Umbridge stuttered.

"The locket of Salazar Slytherin that you were wearing!"

Umbridge now realizing the locket Voldemort was talking about, "Slytherin? I thought the S was for Selwyn!" fumbling to take off her necklace and handing it to the man in front of her, "I just received this as a bribe from some street trash. I never knew anything about this. Here, you can have- I mean- I gladly return what's rightfully yours."

"GET THAT OUT OF MY SIGHT! THAT THING IS OBVIOUSLY FAKE!" Voldemort yelled, swatting the fake locket and using a shattering jinx to destroy the replica. "The fact that you couldn't figure that out only adds to your stupidity."

"I didn't know it was yours. I would have given it-"

"Silence!" Voldemort interrupted, as Umbridge curled herself up, hands on her head. Voldemort pointed the Elder Wand at her.

"P-Please, oh great and powerful Lord," Umbridge stammered, "Please spare me, I have otherwise loyally served your agenda. I've accomplished so much for you, rounding up mudbloods and blood traitors. I have done and can do so much more for you, my lord."

"Shut… up… woman. I don't care what you do with the mudbloods, I leave that issue to my minions. I have grander ideals, greater ambitions, that hold my attention." Voldemort readied himself to cast the Killing curse. "And you have no part in it."

"My Lord, if I may," Yaxley interjected, Voldemort halted his curse to turn his gaze on Yaxley. "Umbridge has been useful to us. Not just in rounding up mudbloods, but also as deterrent. She has been effective in quashing the rebellious spirit of the Ministry employees. Perhaps, it would be the wiser choice to keep her around."

Instead of level-headed calmness, Voldemort only shot a scathing glare at him. "Are you ordering me to spare this wench, Yaxley?"

A shiver went down Yaxley's spine as he heard his name. "Nothing of the sort, my lord. Merely a request from a humble servant. An inconsequential one, at that. It's just, it's more convenient to have her around, is all."

"Convenience." Upon hearing Yaxely, Umbridge's trembling began to subside. Fear began to become overshadowed with indignity. Meanwhile, Voldemort contemplated the options, and decided to lower the wand.

"Fine," Voldemort started. "Take her away. But the next time she chooses to be a liability, I expect you to handle it."

Yaxley gulped, and said "I will take responsibility for this."

Voldemort turned to leave, still angry. Harry Potter may have one of his Horcruxes, but the Dark Lord knew that he didn't have a viable method to destroy it. And that's if the boy knew exactly what he had. As he was about to leave the room, Voldemort was stopped by Umbridge's shrill voice, sounding much more confident.

"I am Dolores Jane Umbridge," Umbridge began. "Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, former High Inquisitor and Headmistress of Hogwartz, and Head of the Muggle-Born Registration Committee. I am a witch of noble blood with a distinguished career. I am of value to you, my lord, all I ask is a chance to prove myself."

In that moment, Voldemort found himself perplexed. A wave of nostalgia crossed him. As he turned back, the look of anger on his face slightly, ever so, softened. Now, curiosity occupied his thoughts until it finally dawned on him.

Voldemort looked sternly at Umbridge. "You know, I think I should take back what I said earlier. I believe I may remember you."

Umbridge perked up at this, "Y-You have?"

"During one of my visits to Hogwarts, maybe twenty or thirty years ago, I came upon a young witch from Slytherin House. She was talking to Professor Slughorn about becoming Prefect or Head Girl. She said something of the same nature of what you just said," Voldemort walked a little bit toward Umbridge while fiddling with the Elder Wand in his hand rather than raising it as a threat. "That wouldn't have happened to have been you, would it?"

Umbridge had a smile return to her face at the prospect of the Dark Lord remembering her. "Yes, my lord. That was me, it's an honor to have left any impression on you."

Voldemort clicked his tongue in amusement. "Of course, it's now all coming back to me. At the time I was looking for wizards and witches that held promise. And along comes you…"

Umbridge felt overjoyed. The idea that she may get in good graces with the Dark Lord elated her. She knew the Death Eaters had won this war, and so she hedged her bets on them. Now she may have the position of honor and power she always craved.

"I remember the first thought that crossed my mind upon seeing you," Voldemort began, Umbridge still in high spirits. "I couldn't help but think…"

"…what an utterly pathetic creature."

Umbridge, smile still on her face, felt her heart sink. The tirade only got worse from there.

"You cling to whatever title or merit you can possibly get you filthy hands on. Like a rat picking on the carcass of a once great beast," Voldemort's scathing only just begun. "Demanding rank and honors by virtue of some non-existent blood right while promoting yourself as some great user of magic. When in reality, you are duller than the dirt you stand on."

Umbridge's smile finally faded as her soul was being crushed. Voldemort continued, "Merlin's beard, you haven't changed a bit. Lucius Malfoy disgusts me to no end, but at least he has enough dignity to know his place. Your self-aggrandization only accentuates your mediocrity." Voldemort turned back around, "You may keep your life. If only to amuse yourself that your only redeeming quality is that you are convenient to have around."

As Voldemort walked away, Umbridge was in a trance. Ruminating on what had transpired, these words burned her.

Incompetent

Mediocrity

Pathetic

Convenient

Umbridge's anger boiled over. She believed in herself so greatly, yet no one would acknowledge her. Sweating, teeth clenched, her rage made Umbridge throw all caution to the wind. Her deafening scream echoed through the Malfoy Manor. Grabbing her wand, Umbridge pointed her wand squarely at Voldemort, and readied one of the Unforgivable Curses for the second time.

"Avada Ke-" Umbridge began, but would never finish. Without even turning around, Voldemort waved the Elder Wand behind his back. A shockwave erupted, the force of which destroyed her wand and throttled Umbridge sending her and some furniture flying. Yaxley, Lucius, and the two Snatchers ran for cover as Umbridge smashed into the wall. Silence followed the explosion, and the first sound to be heard was the pieces of Umbridge's wand falling to the floor. Umbridge herself fell to the floor shortly after.

The living room was in shambles, save for the spot Nagini was resting as her Horcrux protection charms kept her unharmed. Umbridge was now even worse for ware as blood fell from her nose. Her wand arm was broken, along with two ribs. She tried to stand back up only to wince at the pain in her arm causing her to fall back down again.

Voldemort turned back around; Elder Wand still pointed at Umbridge as he spoke. "Hm, at the very least, let it not be said you don't have a spine about you."

Umbridge was able to pick herself up to her knees. Looking straight at Voldemort, she knew what was to come. "Well, what are you waiting for?! Kill me! At least afford me that honor."

Voldemort kept the Elder Wand up, but did not ready a spell. Instead, he took a second to think, and a thought occurred to him. The Dark Lord, known for his ruthlessness, lowered the wand and started walking towards Umbridge. Lower himself to meet Umbridge's eye level, Voldemort adopted an uncharacteristically parent-like demeanor with a slight smile on his face.

Instead of a killing blow, Voldemort simply spoke, "I'd rather not waste anymore good magic."