This Is My Love Song to You

Kairi let Sora keep calling her, not knowing if she should answer and let him in again or not.

The Princess of Heart was currently at a baking class on Destiny Islands, finally having found some relief from all her pain in the form of baking brownies and the bright color yellow on all the walls around her, that she didn't know if she wanted to invite the pain in again.

But at the same time… it was Sora. Even if he had left her a million times, he had always done so for such a good reason. So, could she really blame him for it anymore? Kairi just didn't know. And it was because of that anxiety, that she felt her nails digging into the skin of her forearm now, as she maybe meant to punish herself.

And it was that thought right there, that had Kairi thinking that she should just ignore Sora here. If thoughts of him made her so nervous now, that she was almost accidentally putting blood into her food, that surely meant that he wasn't good for her mental health. Right?

So at least for now, Kairi decided she would let her friend be and deal with it later.

And her peanut butter brownies ended up very much thanking her for that.

...

"Later" came in the form of Kairi and Sora having coffee together, and remembering why they'd chosen to love each other in the first place.

They were having a good time right now, recalling when a teacher had hated on Kairi for being the mayor's daughter (…okay. That part had been less fun, Kairi thought now), and Sora had punched him for Kairi's sake and everyone had been glad because no one liked Mister Konishi.

But even with that… the subject of Sora's Keyblade wielding came up—as it always did where he was concerned; it was part of the reason that Kairi could no longer see him, even—and Kairi felt her heart racing, as she wondered what this would do to them and the fun they'd finally been able to find together again.

And as it always did… it turned out that talks of Sora's duties meant that he was leaving. And as Kairi found herself looking at the very brown walls here, she had to ponder why she ever got her hopes up that she'd be enough for him to stay…

"So, I have to go. But I swear I'll be back, Kairi. Umm... possessed babies are sort of threatening the world right now? Or the threat of babies getting possessed babies, I guess. And they have super strength and speed when that happens to them, so you see why I have to go." (1)

"Possessed... babies?" Kairi choked out, aghast. Part of her wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation—as it was that—while another part of her was worried about the world and these children, since she was still selfless, deep down.

So, as she always did, Kairi found the strength to let go. "Then leave, Sora. Leave right now. You don't have to waste another second telling me goodbye. As always, I know your destiny lies elsewhere. Just be safe, okay?"

And not leaving Sora another option—which was cruel of her, she supposed—Kairi ran off, crying, before the love of her life could say or do anything else.

Kairi thought here—as she went outside and saw one bird attacking another in the sky—that she'd probably never forgive Sora after this.

But she did. Oh, she did. When Sora showed up at her apartments a few months later, with promises to never leave her again… while holding a pizza he'd ordered just for her, that spelled "I'm sorry, Hikari" in M&Ms—which just so happened to be the only topping she liked—as he showed that he did care for her, in having somehow figured out her name was "Hikari" all along, but she had just gone by "Kairi" for short, because she liked that better.

Kairi held onto Sora's hand gently then, so gently—not unlike what they had done when they'd barely been teens, desperate to hold onto each other when the world threatened to tear them apart—and pulled him into her apartment and made her own promises. "And I promise I'll be fair to you, Sora… I feel like I haven't been, exactly. We'll start by me sharing this apartment with you: a place I meant to hide from you with, when you broke my heart. But we're not hiding anymore."

Author's Note: 1 That was a joke. And a reference to Robot Chicken, when Seth Green pretended that Joss Whedon wanting that to be the plot of Buffy season 8 is why Sarah Michelle Gellar quit (though that really wasn't the plot for that season. It's just a joke). So, it being here is partly for that joke, but also because Kairi might not even fully be listening there? That might not have been what Sora said at all. And it just sort of shows how she's done with all his missions?

This conclusion is completely rushed, I know (and a lot of this ended up being telling). But that's because I was originally thinking of having this be the multi-chapter story… but I don't have time for that right now. So, I needed some sort of ending here. I may revisit this whole idea later, but not at the moment.

Anyway, I wrote this because I feel there aren't enough fics where Kairi temporarily gives up on Sora anymore. (I've read like, two, and I actually liked them, but I never see such things now). And don't get me wrong: SoKai is my ultimate OTP, and I always want them to end up together and work it out. But it's probably the fact that I grew up on CW on-and-off-again couples, but I sort of live for this angst. And I think it would well be within Kairi's rights, to have a moment where she feels like she can't do this anymore. Though that'll never happen in canon, I know, since Kairi has a heart full of light and she and Sora are an Epic couple.

And this ending… is completely inspired by the scene from the The Princess Diaries, where Mia apologizes to Michael in such a way. But moreso based on NBC's "Chuck". In that show, Chuck (a civilian) has to work with CIA agent Sarah (long story). And the two develop feelings for each other, of course. But in the first season, I think Sarah is saying how it could never work between them, because Chuck knows nothing about the real her (Sarah isn't even her real name, for starters). And he shows up at her apartment with the weird kind of pizza she likes, trying to prove that he does know her. It's a sweet moment. And since Kairi felt like Sora wasn't choosing her in this story, such a scene with Sora showed that he was and that he knows her.

The whole "Hikari" thing is an old fandom theory.

This isn't my best work, by far. But I just wanted to finish and post some writing again, since it's been forever. So, here you go.