"Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness."

-Anne Frank

"I can't believe she would do this," I muttered. Uncle M and I were in the living room, still in our dress clothes, just after I laid Ethan, still unconscious, on my bed. Macon watched me like a hawk the entire time I did it. Please, I've never even had a boy in my room before, much less one who's been knocked out cold by my bitch cousin and...my crazy bitch magic…

"What I would like to know is how she used the boy to get through our barrier." Macon was pacing back and forth, like he does when he's really worried.

"The boy had a name, Uncle M," I chastise. Honestly, he was impossible sometimes.

"Oh yes, your 'boyfriend.'" If we were anybody else, someone might have guessed that he was poking silly fun at me. But this was Macon Ravenwood. He didn't joke.

"Oh stop it." I waved my hand at him, annoyed. "There was a literal hurricane in our dining room, and a crazed dark caster threatening us, and a mortal who could barely move or speak. A lot of crazy stuff was happening."

"I see…" I hated when he did that. I was no novice to hiding my thoughts and feelings, but Macon was a true master.

"Lena," he said again, but he sounded gentle when he said this. He put a hand on my shoulder and looked me right in the eyes. I knew where this was going; he had a point to get across and he wanted me to hear it. "She used him as a way to get to all of us, and to hurt you. He's dangerous. He may not intend to be, but this-"

"Stop." I cut him off. I knew what he was going to say, to a degree, and I certainly didn't wanna hear it.

"Listen to me," he said in a warning voice. "Mortals are vulnerable. And Dark Casters like Ridley like to play with them like toys. Sometimes, they even like to rip their heads off."

"If you're trying to scare me into going back to being all alone, it's not working, okay? I know the risks. I know how dangerous Dark casters are. How dangerous...she is…" It still hurt to see Julia like this. Ridley, I had to correct myself. That's her true name, and that was her true nature that I was just exposed to…

"Lena-"

"No." I gently shoved his hand off by shoulder and backed away from him. "No, I know the risks, but...it's too late, alright? It's too late, it just is. There's nothing to do now."

"This is so much bigger than a high school crush, Lena-"

"I've been dealing with that everyday of my life!" I don't know what's come over me. All I know is that this has been building up inside of me for a while, years maybe. This frustration, this feeling of being trapped, of being unable to be like anybody else. Of being unable to make friends or have certain connections...It's all so unfair and I was tired of acting like it wasn't.

"Uncle M, I have been bounced around from place to place, from family member to family member, all the while feeling like a freak wherever I go. I never had a real friend outside of the family. Ridley was my best friend, and I lost her to the Dark. Ever since then, I've been scared that it was gonna happen to me. I mean really, it's like she said, what's to stop it from happening to me? Maybe I'm evil and I just don't even know it, just like she didn't know it? I have no idea who the hell I am, do you understand? Part of figuring out who the hell you are is finding your people. I haven't found my people yet-"

"Your people are here-"

"I don't mean 'my kind', Macon, I mean my people! The people who aren't stuck with me out of familial obligation, the people who chose me, who want to get to know me. So far, no one ever has! I've only ever been 'the weird girl.' The one who dressed wrong, who acted wrong, who did all the wrong things, said all the wrong things, or just didn't say anything at all. That's who I am to everyone I meet, wherever I go.

"Do you know what it's like to find someone who knows all the weird stuff about you-and not just that you have a necklace full of crap that you like to wear because you like little pieces of memorabilia from all the places you lived as a reminder that you lived somewhere and that you aren't some vagabond? I mean all the stuff. The magic and the darkside, and the fact that when you get annoyed or pissed off, shit tends to set itself on fire or explode!

"Someone who likes you exactly as you are, and doesn't need you to change or be normal? Even if who you are is someone who's mean and lonely and confused and lost? Who likes at least some of the same things you like so you have something to talk about, but you're just different enough to have even more to talk about and learn about each other?

"Because I haven't. Never. Not until now. And I love this feeling. I don't wanna give it up. Not for any reason. I know it's dangerous. I know it. And I know that I need to get rid of him and keep him out of this for his own good-and you know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do. It's what I have to do. This feeling, it was nice while it lasted. But...yeah."

I walk up the stairs without another word or glance back to Macon, not even a look back. I said all I needed to say. I came to the conclusions I needed to come to. And as soon as he wakes up...well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Or maybe I'll just throw myself off it? That feeling might actually be better than what I'm feeling now.

Macon watched Lena go up the stairs, looking miserable. Macon hadn't interrupted her during her tirade, even though he was tempted to in the beginning. He understood what she was saying-he understood all of it, better than she knew. Better than anyone, really.

He went into his study and pulled out a book-in that book contained a picture. The picture was of him-younger, darker hair, simpler clothes(a t-shirt, jeans) and he had his arms wrapped around a brown haired girl whose hair was in a messy braid. Her glasses were barely balanced on the bridge of her nose. She thought this and her rural taste in clothing somehow made her less stunning. Beautiful smart girls were always stupid in that regard.

Someone who knows the real you…Someone who doesn't need you to change no matter how much you wished you could...someone who loves you anyway...

If only Lena knew...