AN: I know everyone is way ahead of me with the stories of their reunion, and that we already know how they met up again, but this was something I had started before the episodes aired. So, this is another scenario of how the reunion could have gone.

EOEOEOEO

"Carisi got the judge to rescind bail for Henderson. He's gonna be chillin' in Rikers until his trial." Fin said as he eased into the chair across the desk from Olivia. He shook his head and grinned. "Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."

Olivia grinned at Fin's sarcasm. This had been a tough case, but the team's diligence had paid off. It hadn't taken their suspect long to violate the order of protection that was in place, and they'd been there to arrest him. "Good work."

"Hey, it was Kat that saw him." Fin offered up. "Gotta give credit where credit is due." He said with a shrug of his shoulders. Kat was doing a good job and he wanted to make sure Olivia knew it.

Olivia nodded and made a mental note to give some kudos to Kat tomorrow. "Are you telling me you were napping in the car?" She teased, knowing Fin hated doing surveillance. She was rewarded with a scowl from Fin, but it faded as quickly as it had come. She pulled her glasses off her face and set them on her desk. "Seriously though, thanks for staying on top of this case. With all the other things going on around here, it was good that you could stay on top of it." 1PP had her so busy with reports and statistics; they were feeling incredible pressure from the public on several different fronts, and all of the precinct captains had been pulled in. She hated politics and all the managing up, but you took the good with the bad when it came to being in charge.

"Any of that gonna let up soon?" Fin knew Olivia would much rather be focused on the cases…would rather be in the trenches…that attending meetings and doing paperwork.

"I doubt it, but it's okay." She leaned back in her chair and grinned. "I have a great team that I trust, so that helps tremendously." She saw Fin accepted the compliment with a nod of his head, and she reminded herself how lucky she was that he had stuck around. "Hey, why don't you get out of here? It's late."

"Yeah." Fin stood up but lingered by the chair. "So, anyone coming to that awards thing besides the squad?" Elliot had told him that he was going to contact Olivia, to let her know that he was in town and break the ice, but Oliva hadn't said a word about it to him. He had assumed that if she'd gotten a call from her old partner, she would have told him about it.

"Well, I thought about bringing Noah, but it'll probably be boring for him and he won't really understand, so…" She let her voice trail off. Fin was shifting on his feet and looked uncomfortable. There was something she was obviously missing. "I guess it'll just be the squad." She said, keeping her eyes trained on him.

"Oh. Yeah. OK." Fin said, nodding his head. It had been a week since he'd met up with Stabler for a drink, and the awards ceremony was just a few days away. Elliot should have called her by now and he was more than a little ticked off. "Ok then." He debated if he should be the one to break the news, but Elliot had said he'd call, so he didn't want to step in the middle of it. He had been pretty certain Stabler would do it. He'd been pretty clear that he didn't think it was a good idea for him to just show up at the ceremony, without giving Olivia a heads up. He wasn't sure how she would handle a surprise like that and didn't want anything to detract from the celebration.

"Fin." Olivia started as Fin studiously avoided her gaze. But he looked up at her then.

"Yeah, that's cool." Fin cut her off, having decided that he wasn't going to tell her. He was going to call Stabler the moment he left and read him the riot act for being such a chickenshit. "I'm outta here." He could see the question on her face. She'd known him too long and could tell he was holding something back. "Have a good night Liv." He turned and headed for the door, hoping she didn't stop him, but just as he reached the doorway, he heard his name. He paused for a second and then turned. "Yeah?"

Olivia stared at him a second. The question about the awards ceremony had been odd and out of place and she wondered what was behind it. There had been so many people that had crossed her path over the course of her career…that had made her who she is today…that she could have reached out to. Barba, Stone, Cabot, Novak, Huang, Cragen, Munch, Amaro, Warner. There were others that had left their own mark, but were lost to her forever, like Simon, Cassidy, and Tucker. And then there was Elliot, who lived in his own undefined space in her mind.

She had never considered reaching out to any of them to come to her ceremony. Maybe that was a mistake, but she had learned not to dwell in the past. If she happened to come back into her life in some way, she was happy to see them, but she wasn't going to waste time on loss and longing.

Olivia stared at Fin for a second, wondering what he was up to. It didn't seem like him to cook up some surprise for her, but she could see him calling Cragen or Barba. "You know that I hate surprises."

Fin nodded. "Me too Liv. Me too." He gave her a grin and left her office.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia sank into the bathtub with a sigh. She closed her eyes and dropped her head back against the rolled towel behind her neck. The hot water and bubbles felt wonderful after the long day, and she tried to focus on her breathing as she pushed out all the chaos of the day from her mind. It was becoming harder and harder to do, as the cases and victims piled up over the years, but if she didn't steal moments like this for herself, it would be even worse. Caring for herself and making herself a priority sometimes had been one of the things she had learned in the past couple of years. It's why she'd hired a personal trainer and took moments like this, even if she felt guilty for all of the other things she wasn't doing. She had to remind herself that Noah would be fine for the 30 minutes she stole on a night like this. He was happy as a clam when she'd told him that he could have some extra TV time, so the guilt was all on her side. She was doing the best she could and that had to be good enough.

Olivia could feel herself almost nodding off and was thankful that the hot water and scented candles were doing their job. She would get Noah tucked in and crawl into bed herself, hopeful for a quiet and dreamless night of slumber. Olivia knew she only had a few minutes left before she had to get out of the tub and she tried to keep herself from actually drifting off, when she heard some commotion coming from the living room. She furrowed her brow because she couldn't identify the source of the noise. Noah was watching his favorite show, and he wasn't easily distracted from it, so she couldn't imagine he would have left the couch to get into something. Olivia sat up when she heard something like a chair being dragged across the floor. "Noah?" She yelled out, pausing to listen. It wouldn't be the first time he had climbed on to the counter to get a snack or something else he wasn't supposed to have at this time of night.

"I got it Mom!"

Olivia heard Noah call out, and then, what sounded like a knock on the door of her apartment. She paused for just a second but then scrambled out of the tub, almost slipping on the tile floor, as she realized what was happening. "Noah! No!" He knew he wasn't allowed to answer the door, so why would he think it was okay to do so now? How in the hell was someone at her door anyway? They had a security door and a doorman for that very reason. There was no way someone could be in the building and at her door without her knowledge unless it was a neighbor or someone that lived in the building. All of this was running through her mind as she grabbed her robe and wrapped it around her wet body, making a dash for the bathroom door. It hit the wall with a bang as she tore into the hallway. She could hear Noah talking to someone and she practically ran into the living room, wishing she had her gun on her hip. She stopped cold when she saw the scene in front of her.

There was a chair sitting by the door, which Noah must have dragged over to reach the deadbolt. The TV was playing some ridiculous song that she knew and hated from all of the previous times she'd been forced to listen to it. Noah was standing near the door in his Superman pajamas, which she realized were getting just a little too small for him. And there, at the center of it all, stood Elliot Stabler.

Olivia stopped short, clutching at the opening in her robe, completely dumbfounded. She couldn't seem to make sense of what she was seeing, and for a moment, she wondered if she was dreaming. It was Noah that snapped her out of her reverie.

"He says he's a friend of yours." Noah said, smiling as he turned towards her.

"Come here." Olivia said harshly, beckoning him with her free hand. There was no imminent threat and yet, her heart was racing, and she felt a rush of adrenaline that spurred the outburst. Noah seemed to sense her distress, or realized he was in hot water, because he didn't argue. He moved over to her side and Olivia took a step forward, irrationally pushing him behind her.

"Hey." Elliot said. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, just barely inside the doorway, feeling like a fool for showing up like this. "I…" Was in the neighborhood. Wanted to break the ice in person. Knew you wouldn't take my call. Had to see you. All those thoughts ran though his mind as he stared at the woman that had only lived in his memory for the past ten years. "I guess I didn't realize it was so late." He said by way of apology, but he didn't offer to leave. It had taken a lot for him to get the courage to even show up, so he was in no hurry to leave. He hoped she wouldn't kick him out before he'd had a chance to say what he'd come to say.

"How did you get past the doorman?" Olivia was still in shock, unable to process the fact that Elliot was standing in her apartment. Better to focus on practical things, then spurt out the questions that had been buried away for a decade.

"I tinned him." Elliot smirked but he saw the furrow of Olivia's brows and he recomposed himself. "I know I shouldn't have done that, but…" He let his voice trail off.

He has a badge. That was the only thing Olivia heard, but even that was a passing thought. In the moments he'd been standing there, she'd been silently assessing him. It was a little jarring to realize that the images and memories of him were outdated, and while the man standing in front of her looked familiar, he had changed. He was older, leaner. And yet, he looked even stronger, more fit. He had less hair, but the hair he had, and his beard, were peppered with gray. The one constant was his eyes. Those piercing, baby blue eyes. They were staring at her too, and she realized he was probably conducting a similar assessment himself. It made her feel self-conscious, as she could feel her damp robe sticking to her body. Still, she couldn't seem to move from where she was standing. She felt Noah tugging at her hand, and she knew she need to do something, or say something. She wanted to get Noah out of the room. She wanted to put some clothes on, but every option seemed an invitation for him to stay. She needed to get in front of this…take control of this situation. "What are you doing here?"

Elliot had so many things he wanted to say, but first, he had to get her to agree to let him stay. "I wanted to let you know that I'm back in town." He clasped his hands in front of him, feeling his chances slipping away as he spoke. "I needed to tell you…" He let out a sigh and shook his head. This was so much harder than he had imagined, especially with that look of trepidation in Olivia's eyes. He dropped his hands and took one small step farther into the apartment, laying his cards on the table. "I just really, really wanted to see you. Needed to see you." He saw Olivia shaking her head slightly, but he wasn't even sure she knew she was doing it. "Please." He pleaded.

Olivia stared at him, the timbre of his voice resonating through her entire body. She wanted to tell him to leave, but there was a part of her that was curious about what he had to say. Another part of her wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, showing up here after all this time. The indecision had her dumbstruck. "Mommm." Olivia was shaken out of her reverie by Noah's drawn-out whine. She tore her eyes away from Elliot and looked down at Noah. "Yeah, baby." She took his hands in both of hers.

"Who is your friend?" Noah asked, cocking his head to one side.

Olivia ignored his question. "Time for bed."

"But Mom!" Noah complained. "You said I could watch…"

Olivia shook her head. "I know what I said but it's late." She was suddenly, incredibly self-conscious of what she was wearing…how little she was wearing. Of having Elliot in her private space. Of him seeing her son. It was all too much. Her decision was made. She needed for him to leave. Right now. She could see that Noah was gearing up for a fight, but with one look, he seemed to understand that it wasn't the moment. "Go to your room, and I'll be there in a minute." Noah made a face, but then turned and headed off towards his room.

Olivia turned back to Elliot, crossing her arms across her breasts. "I can't do this right now." Her voice was raspy, and she swallowed hard and repeated herself.

"Liv. Olivia." Elliot corrected himself almost immediately. "Please let me stay. I'll wait until you put your boy to bed. I'll wait, as long as you need."

Someone walked by in the hallway behind Elliot, and she realized her door had been open this entire time. She pressed her lips together; every instinct was telling her to kick him out. But he was a stubborn son-of-a-bitch and she knew he wouldn't relent. If it wasn't today, it would be tomorrow. Or the next day. He'd keep showing up until she talked to him. And she wouldn't be able to quiet the questions in her mind that had been dredged up by seeing him. "Ten minutes."

Elliot watched her turn and disappear in the direction her son had gone. He wasn't sure if she was asking him to give her ten minutes to get him to bed and to get dressed, or if she was giving him ten minutes to talk, but he didn't venture to ask. He closed her apartment door and wandered inside slightly, taking in everything in his sight line. The apartment was a little bigger than the old apartment of hers that he was more familiar with, and almost everything in it looked new to him. He supposed that shouldn't be surprising after all this time. When he had returned to New York, he shouldn't expect that everything had frozen with time and that it would be exactly how he'd left it, but he found that parts of him irrationally expected just that. So, it was a little jarring that each person he'd been reacquainted with and every spot he'd revisited had changed in that span of time.

Olivia included.

He had held on to his memories of her, conjuring up images of her in his weakest moments. Seeing her today reminded him of just how long he'd been gone. She had changed with the rest of them, the sight of her not matching his memory exactly. But still…she took his breath away. He had always considered her beautiful but seeing her again reminded him of just how damn stunning she was and had always been.

Her face was a little fuller and it looked as if motherhood, the job, and time had deepened the worry lines in her face, but it did nothing to diminish her beauty in his eyes.

Seeing her in the flesh unleashed something in him. The ability to take a deep breath, to feel a full heartbeat. He thought he knew just how much he had missed her, but he had severely underestimated the loss. There simply was no scale. Any thought he'd had that perhaps his feelings for her had changed over time, that somehow, they had been tempered, was gone. He was right where he'd been in those last painful moments in the squad room.

Elliot dropped his head and let out a sigh.

He should have known it was going to be as complicated as when he'd left.

Olivia had asked him what he was doing there, and he had been delusional enough to think that answering that question would be simple when asked. He had envisioned them sitting at a café. There would be apologies on his part…explanations of why he had felt compelled to spirit Kathy and Eli away to Italy. He would divulge that she'd been there with him, this low thrum running constantly beneath the surface of his skin. He knew that he would tell her how much he had missed her, and he would beg for her forgiveness. He wanted her back in his life, but in his usual selfish manner, he hadn't really thought about what that might mean, or what she might want.

There was a pretty high probability that she wasn't interested in anything he had to say, and an even higher likelihood that she didn't need or want him in her life at all.

Elliot turned towards the door and considered leaving, but then he heard her voice telling her son good night, and he turned back towards the living room, wondering if she was about to return. He waited a beat, but then heard a small voice saying something in return.

The reality that Olivia had a son hit him again. For Fin to tell him was one thing, but to see it, to hear the little boy call her Mom, was something else. It made him so incredibly happy for her, but it saddened him too. It was one big thing she had yearned for, and he hated that he had missed it. He would have loved to see her pregnant, watch her glowing with expectation. It would have been wonderful to see the joy on her face as she held her newborn son.

Elliot wondered who the father was, and if he was still in the picture. He wondered if Olivia had been in love, was still in love, or had suffered a heartbreak. Fin had mentioned a serious relationship but, the way he'd delivered the news made him think it was in the past. When pressed for details, Fin had declined, telling him to ask Olivia.

He wanted to do just that but didn't imagine they would be delving into the details of their personal lives tonight.

Elliot glanced towards the bedrooms, but it was silent, so he took the opportunity to move over to the shelves against the wall in hopes that the frames photos would give him more of a glimpse into her life. He saw several photos of her with her son. At the park, at the beach, and other candid shots. There was a photo of Olivia in a blue dress, holding a small boy in what was clearly a church. Fin was there, along with a handful of other people he didn't know. He assumed this was a baptism. It surprised him a little, as Olivia had never been outwardly religious, but she looked happy that day. He picked up the photo and studied it more closely, wondering if one of the men in the photo was the father.

He hated that he didn't know the people in her life. Had no idea, day in and day out, who was on the street with her…who was protecting her. Who might be sharing her bed. Her life. He knew he had no right, when he was the one that had walked away, but he had missed so much.

Missed her so damn much.

"What are you doing?" Olivia walked into the room and saw Elliot with the photo of Noah's baptism in her hand. It felt like an invasion of her privacy and it struck her that this man, who had known almost everything about her, knew so little of her life now.

"Sorry. I was just…" Elliot set the photo carefully back on the shelf, looking slightly sheepish. He had no real explanation for snooping. He turned back to see her standing near the doorway she's just emerged from, sporting jeans, a white t-shirt, and an oversized black cardigan. "Great photo." He could tell she wanted to say something, but she pressed her lips together and ducked into the kitchen. He hesitated for a moment, wondering what was going through her mind, but she hadn't asked him to leave. He walked behind the couch and up to the counter, navigating between the two bar stools. He saw Olivia uncork a bottle of wine and our herself a generous portion, bringing it to her lips before she'd even set the bottle back on the counter. He wondered if she was going to offer him a glass. She leaned against the far counter and took a sip, staring at him.

Apparently not.

It wasn't lost on him that she'd put a physical barrier between them, but at some level, he understood. He knew what a shock his appearance must be.

Oliva couldn't help but stare at Elliot, trying to take in all of the details of him that she'd forgotten. She knew Elliot was doing the same, but he had the upper hand as he'd already had a pretty good look at her when she'd been standing in the living room in her wet robe.

She hated that.

All of the times she had allowed herself to even think about meeting up with Elliot after all this time had passed, she had always imagined herself in charge of the reunion. She would be prepared, cool and calm. Make-up and hair done, put together. She had wanted him to know that she was doing ok. Doing well. Thriving without him. Even if the truth was peppered with some of the more horrific events in her life.

Olivia took another large sip of wine and then lowered the glass to the counter. The rich burgundy was calming, but it was going down too easily, and she wanted to keep her wits about her.

The silence stretched out between them, and Elliot knew he needed to say something. But he didn't know where to even begin. He gripped the edge of the counter and slid into one of the stools, hoping that would ease her discomfort. Give him some more time. "What's your son's name?"

Olivia hesitated a moment, feeling like each piece of information, no matter how small, was somehow giving him some piece of her that he didn't deserve. "Is that why you came here?" She deferred his question.

Elliot sighed inwardly. He hadn't expected this to be easy. He'd had no idea what he'd be walking into. Olivia had always been a formidable opponent, but as her partner, he'd never been on the receiving end. He wasn't sure how to react. He didn't want to push her farther away or have her shut down completely. "I told you why I came here." He could hear some frustration in his own voice, and he softened his tone a little before she had a chance to respond. "I am moving back to New York. Have moved back to New York." He skipped a beat, waiting for some reaction, but Olivia kept her expression neutral. "I was going to come to your awards ceremony, but Fin didn't think it would be a good idea to just show up…" Elliot stopped when he saw the expression on Olivia's face change.

"You talked to Fin?" She asked sharply. The thought that Elliot had reached out to Fin first stung a little…maybe more than a little…maybe a lot. But the comments Fin made to her while in her office made sense now.

"I know I should have come to you first." Elliot said, realizing his misstep. "I wanted to talk to you." Elliot leaned in, sensing her disappointment that he'd reached out to Fin before her. "I just didn't know how to even start the conversation. I still don't." He leaned back against the chair. "Christ, why does this have to be so difficult?"

"Why did you think this would be easy?" Olivia asked incredulously.

"I didn't think it would be easy." Elliot assured her. "I just thought that it would be…" He sighed, wondering if he should even keep talking or if he was just digging himself in more deeply. His common sense lost out as he kept going. "That maybe you'd be happy to see me…" His voice trailed off. He had this whole scene where Olivia's happiness to see him overrode the anger she felt. He would pull her into a hug and tell her how much he had missed her, and she would admit she missed him too. They'd get to the messy stuff, but that wouldn't come until a little later. He knew it was an unrealistic expectation, but it hadn't kept him from holding on to it in some small way.

She took a few steps forward and braced her arms on counter, leaning towards Elliot slightly. "Honestly, I don't know if I'm happy to see you." She lied a little, because on some level, the fact that he was sitting not more than four feet made her feel safe in a way she hadn't felt in a long time. The look on his face made her retract her harsh statement. "Maybe that came out wrong." She admitted. "I'm just in shock, I guess. I'm feeling all kinds of things."

"Yeah." Elliot knew what she was feeling because as much as he'd anticipated this moment, the thoughts and emotions burdening him right now were almost indescribable. He scrubbed his hands over his face before flattening them against the countertop. "I can imagine." He was starting to really feel badly about blindsiding her this way. He'd had time to prepare, and he was tongue-tied. "I just meant that I had all these things I wanted to say to you. I ran all these scenarios in my head, prepared myself for all the potential ways you might react and now…" He shook his head. "It's all gone." He held his fingers to his head and flared them out, as if his mind had exploded. "I don't know what to say to you."

Olivia took another sip of her wine, wondering if she could refill her glass so soon. How about I'm sorry? The words popped into her head, but she bit them back. A simple apology wasn't going to cut through all of the anger, pain, and anguish of the past. "Well, then." She eyed the wineglass on the counter, wanting to pick it up and down it, and then looked back up at Elliot. "Maybe you should just go." She was trying to sound nonchalant, as if she didn't care if he stayed or not.

"Do you want me to go?" Elliot asked.

Olivia hesitated. She realized the decision was hers to make. She knew Elliot would leave if she told him to, and in some ways, she just wanted to slam that door shut again. She didn't want to dredge up the past and all that it entailed. She didn't want to tell him everything that had happened, everything he'd missed. It was just so much. Too much.

She opened her mouth and then closed it again, looking down at the floor. "You don't know me anymore Elliot." She heard the coldness in her voice, but what she said was true. "A lot of things have changed in the past ten years. A lot of things have changed me in the past ten years. Starting with the day you walked out the door." She paused for a second, and then looked up at him. He was staring at her with that same stoic expression. "I'm not the same person you left." She thought that the harshness of her words might drive him to leave. But if it didn't, if he was going to stay, he needed to know what he was dealing with.

The pain in her words sliced through him like a knife, but she couldn't beat him up anymore than he'd already beaten himself. She hadn't asked him to leave, and that was the main thing. "Liv…" He softened his tone, daring to use her nickname. "I'm not the same person either." He shifted on his feet but didn't take his eyes off hers. "But I'd sure like it if we could get to know each other again."

Olivia watched him, turning his words over and over again in her mind. There was so much history, together and apart, and in some ways, it seemed almost insurmountable. But they way he looked at her, she thought it may be possible. She thought she'd like to try. "My son. His name. It's Noah."

"Noah." Elliot smiled. "I hope I get to know him one day." He slid onto one of the stools. He reached for the bottle of wine. "Do you have another glass?"