AN: Hi! I'm finally ready to post. Although this isn't the story I wanted to post first but my muse got hard stuck, so here is this one. This I included a time-line with a date/time/location.

Thank you, Elaine! You are always so supportive and awesome to me from reading my stuff to listening to me complain about my chaotic muse. I appreciate it! And to all you readers/reviewers I appreciate you guys taking the time to read (and comment) my stuff. I know I can be a bit spastic with posting.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!

FYI: This is set around the beginning of season 3 BUT with just a couple tweaks :)

Disclaimer: I still do not own anything here.

-SECURE LOCATION- SAFE HOUSE

Date: 6/18/2013

Time: 21:17:23

Today was the same as any other but yet different, because John usually didn't think twice about unsolicited advice. But last night's talk with Shaw was still fresh in his mind.

"Reese, get a life…."

It was a conversation they had on a stakeout, working a number. Shaw had been working with them now for about a month, and had a personality disorder but still managed to have a life outside of the numbers; albeit one that mostly consisted of sex, alcohol, and food. Sex was great, Reese conceded, but he was past the point in his life where it was the only thing he desired.

John wanted a deeper connection, he wanted intimacy. Problem with intimacy was that it implied feelings, and he didn't act on his. Or express them. Letting someone in, getting close to someone on a personal level, was terrifying. Being alone was best, fit his comfort zone.

"I can almost hear your mind working, John."

He was drawn out of his confused and muddled thoughts by Carter's soft voice. His eyes flicked over to where she sat and saw that she was watching him. Everyone else left but her.

"Can I run something by you, Carter?" he asked, hesitant. It surprised her but nodded for him to go on. "Do you think I need to get a life?"

She laughed. "I'm sorry, what?"

That response wasn't helpful. He valued Joss Carter's opinions even as he, on occasions, had to squash errant thoughts that he should not have. Like how he enjoyed needling her during a case because he liked how she said his name, a murmur of hopeless exasperation but so soft and warm. Or like how beautiful she was, even when she was shooting him a glare of disapproval, but especially when he was gifted her smile like she was genuinely happy to see him. But those thoughts strayed to more dangerous territory; thinking of her smile morphed to thinking of the shape of her lips and wondering if they were as soft as they looked. The moment they took that turn they were dismissed because Carter was a valuable asset but more importantly a friend, something he did not have a lot of. And most definitely taken; Cal Beecher was the best man to care for Carter. Not him.

Her expression sobered up when she realized he was serious. "Do you think you need to get a life, outside of helping people I mean? Or are you happy with how your life is?"

"Answering a question with a question, very interrogator like, Detective," he murmured, voice light. She merely waited and watched. John sighed. "I never really gave much thought of how I want to live my life," he acknowledged, feeling uncertain. Perhaps asking for her opinion was a bad decision, it invited a personal discussion he wasn't sure he wanted to have.

"Because you really never thought you'd be living it?" she said quietly, but not without conviction. Her gaze was direct but patient. When it got to be too much he looked away first because somehow he felt like she penetrated a part of him that was hidden even to him. Joss Carter had a rare ability of being able to read him that both impressed and irritated him.

After a few moments of silence, Joss spoke, "I'm not sure where this came from but if you want my honest opinion," she paused, and he nodded absently. "…I think if there is anyone that should live a little more it's you, John. And maybe, you might even realize that you deserve it."

He felt her hand rest on his and squeezed lightly. Her gentle touch almost always had an effect on him. It was why he went out of his way to try to avoid it, not that it took much maneuvering because Carter wasn't one to touch without reason. And this time was no different. His skin burned with the imprint of her hand, lingering long after she let go, and made him all too aware of the fact that he liked her touch too much.

She stood and John watched her, while trying to digest what she said. Carter yawned a bit. "I'm going home. I'm bushed. Goodnight John."

"Goodnight Carter," he responded lightly, deep in thought.

-SECURE LOCATION- LIBRARY

DATE: 6/19/2013

TIME: 11:54:03

Shaw watched Reese and Carter covertly, as everyone debated their next move for their new number, and truly wanted to understand it.

In her short time of working the numbers with Finch and Reese, she had come to realize a few things. Finch was brilliant but a recluse. Reese was skilled but broken. Detective Lionel Fusco was loyal but loud. Detective Joss Carter was honest but too independent. Shaw understood the relationships of everyone and how they fit together, except one. Reese and Finch had a brotherly comradery that was genuine. Fusco was Reese's lap dog although she could see it was slowly evolving to be more of a reluctant friendship for both men. Finch and Carter had a respectful friendship that neither went too deep with. Fusco and Carter's relationship were equal parts of partnership and friendship. All those relationships were easy to decipher and understand.

But then there was Reese and Carter.

Their dynamic was mystifying and interesting. There was some kind of undercurrent that flowed effortlessly between them. It was that unknown anomaly that piqued her interest. It wasn't sexual or, at least, not solely sexual. Not like Reese's flimsy relationship with the pretty fixer. That had been easy to sniff out: those two banged a few times, and Zoe was the instigator. The brunette didn't hide her lust that well, probably because she didn't care too. But whatever-it-was between Reese and Carter warranted further investigation, and Shaw was bored enough to want to unearth all the answers she sought. If anything, Reese asked for it: he butted into her life and now she reserved the right to do the same. It was why she first told him to get a life but now, now she wanted to find out what was between Reese and Carter. A dark grin filled her face as she eyed him.

"What?" he asked, when he finally noticed her and the look that probably resided on her face.

"Nothing," she replied but his narrowed gaze only made her grin more because Reese didn't believe her. Smart man.

-UNSECURE LOCATION- MADISON AVENUE

DATE: 7/2/2013

TIME: 23:02:45

Joss settled in, getting comfortable. Stakeouts were a necessary evil; they were boring, tedious, but somehow John seemed to make even the most mundane task interesting. It wasn't necessarily always a good thing. John and trouble were synonymous. Then again Joss was accused by her family of needing more adventure; if only they knew.

It had been weeks since he had asked her that out-of-left-field question. They had seen each other multiple times since, but they almost always had someone with them. But she felt unable to bring it up in front of the others. John spoke to her in private so she wanted to follow up on it in private.

They'd been sitting on this stakeout for about two hours with nothing happening. Now might be the time. "So, John, while we wait to see if anything happens with Morris; do you want to tell me how getting a life has worked out for you?" she asked. John glanced at her and in his expression was disbelief, like he couldn't believe she brought it back up. She shrugged. "Hey, you were the one to ask me and I was just curious."

He didn't reply, didn't need to. John's face tightened ever so slightly which answered her enough. She tapped his hand compassionately. "Changing habits is hard, John. Don't beat yourself up too much. I just wish you'd realize you deserve to be happy like everyone else."

"Happy," he said it with a faint, mocking laugh. "I nearly felt that but then I screwed up and was caught by Donnelly. It led to you being placed in an untenable situation, crossing lines you should never had to. Getting me out nearly ended your career had Kara not killed Donnelly, then I was strapped with a bomb vest and forced to upload a virus into the machine. It nearly ruined it and we almost lost your boyfriend all in the name of me feeling happy."

Joss blinked. There was a lot to unpack. It sounded as though John was not having one of his best mental health days, and that concerned her. She knew that he battled internal demons on a daily basis and sometimes they could get the best of him, like today. Had they not, then she would never have met him in the first place. Joss felt her heart clench at the thought of never meeting this man. But she wanted him to have more up days than down.

"That is an awful lot you are placing squarely on your shoulders. And we've already discussed, at length, what happened at Rikers. I thought that was put behind us." They had spent a few weeks avoiding each other, trying to deal with everything on their own until she sought him out because they needed to talk it out.

"It is…."

"Well, then you can't possibly use it against yourself," she reasoned. Before John could find a new angle to wallow in misery she went on, "And as for Kara, killing Donnelly and forcing you to upload a virus into the machine, that wasn't your fault. I'm just surprised she hadn't killed me along with Donnelly." It had been something she pondered from time to time. Why had she been spared when Donnelly wasn't? That question was forever going to be unanswered since Snow blew Kara Stanton up.

"Kara was a good agent. She knew that she couldn't have forced me to do anything if you were dead."

Joss felt her brows furrow in question. "Why?"

That earned his gaze though it was unreadable, and shadows caused by more than nightfall casted over his handsome face. "You can't force someone to do something with threat of death if they had nothing to live for."

His words hung in the air and she sat letting them settle deep inside her bringing warmth. Joss hadn't realized the depth of his care before now. She graduated from the friend he talked shop with to the one he was real with. John had flirted with the idea numerous times but always stopped short. But this was the first time he sincerely tried to push past his comfort zone. And he thought he was failing at getting a life outside of working the numbers. Happiness bloomed inside her. A secret part of her was happier that he was trying with her.

He shifted uncomfortably and she seized the moment, unwilling to let him second guess opening up even just a little with her. "I care too, John," her words chosen carefully, spoken gently, to help him handle it. Because, if she was half the detective as she thought she was, she knew that John didn't remember what it felt like being cared for and would rebel against the idea of it.

But she kept the level of her care to herself. John wouldn't understand. His viewpoint of himself was far different from hers. When he looked in the mirror, he saw this monster he created in his mind. When she saw him all she saw was a man, who was scarred by the things he was asked to do and had only wanted to help people.

She met his steady gaze head on, not wilting away. Joss knew he'd accept it and move on. After a moment he looked away and looked out the windshield but not before she saw a little smile tug up his lips. She relaxed in her seat. Good, he understood that she cared and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. And like the good little detective she was, she let the topic drop knowing when he needed a break.

AN: I know Beecher but, at least, it's not Iris. If I'm honest I didn't like Beecher either. This is 10 chapters long, and I will try to post again some time this week. I want to do two posts a week.

Thank you for reading!