Dr. Jane Foster generally lives a quiet life of research, her ferrets, and the occasional visit from Darcy that break the silence of living by herself. She doesn't mind the solitude. She considers herself married to science and it's a good partnership.
This particular Darcy visit starts about the same way as they all do- with hugs, a visit to a local coffee shop, and several hours of terrible black and white science fiction movies during which they catch up and holler at the screen. This one includes one other person, though- Darcy's friend and current road-trip buddy, Agent Jimmy Woo.
On the third day of their visit, Jane brings them to the lab to share what she's been researching. Jimmy ask questions and tries to understand the advanced nature of the science, happy with her explanations, curious about what it all means.
And then comes the commotion. Something going on in the outer research laboratories. Shouting in the hall. Jane's interns run into the room, scared to the point where they can't tell her what's going on as they tip over a few of the empty lab tables to create a fortification in front of other tables they can hide under and behind.
Finally, another researcher bursts into the room and scrambles to lock the door, "Jane! HIDE! He's after you!" He dives behind the fortification with the interns. Jane drops under her desk as Jimmy pulls a table in front of it to block her from view.
Darcy, entirely unfazed, stays where she is filing her nails sitting cross-legged on a countertop.
"Darcy! Get down here!" Jimmy whispers, frantically gesturing for her to join them.
Darcy shakes her head, "Nah. I'm good."
The doors slam open with green light and armed soldiers in unfamiliar uniforms back into the room. Darcy raises an eyebrow and continues to file her nails.
"Now, Loki, let's be reasonable here..." they hear a man saying as the God of Mischief himself storms into the room.
"Where is she? Where's Dr. Foster?" he demands.
"I don't know, but why don't you calm down-" the man says, his voice steady, as he trails in after Loki.
"I am calm! Would you like me to display a lack of calm? You and your...your little toy soldiers here could be splattered on the floor!"
"Well I doubt you're going to find Dr. Foster with that kind of attitude," the man says, his unflappable calm disconcerting, given the circumstances, "Why do you want to see this doctor, anyway?"
Loki rolls his eyes, "Because of her research, you fool. Why else would I be in a research facility in the middle of nowhere?"
Jane leans close to Jimmy, "He's supposed to be dead!"
"Well he doesn't look dead to me," Jimmy answers.
The calm man has circled to stand in front of Loki, "Look, Loki- you're not going to get what you want. Why don't you just come with us without any more fuss and we'll start over, OK?"
Loki glowers at him, "Come with you? Why would I do that?"
"Well, as a variant Loki, there's not a lot else you can do- you've disrupted time, now you're going to fix it. That's how this works. Now, you get to choose. You can come with us without a fuss, or...well, the guys here wouldn't have much trouble taking you down."
"Wouldn't have much trouble? I am a god! And what are you? Time police? And what is time but an illusion of space and mind? I've held both! You are all beneath me!"
Darcy, still watching from the counter, snickers, "You wish."
Loki's attention snaps to her, "Oh, what was that, girl?"
Darcy, biting her lip and smirking, raises an eyebrow, "I said, 'you wish.'"
"Wish what?" he says, glowering.
She shrugs, "What, Asgard doesn't use dirty innuendos? Seriously? You said, 'you are all beneath me,' and I said, 'you wish.' You know, you wish we were beneath you?"
From her hiding spot, Jane drops her face into her palm and whispers, "Good god, Darcy, you're going to get killed."
The expression on Loki's face is one of confusion, not because he doesn't understand, but because he has no idea how this snarky Midgardian isn't afraid and has absolutely no problem mouthing off to him in the middle of a standoff. The moment is enough. The armed people attack. Loki fights back. The table behind which the interns hide erupts in purple fire and Jimmy dashes to them to pull them from the rubble, ushering them back to where he and Jane are hiding. Jane tries to convince Darcy to join them.
Darcy, however, has other ideas. She watches the fight, hops from the counter, and grabs something from her bag. She circles around the room, keeping her eyes on Loki. He's strong, fighting with fists and magic and knives, but he's out numbered. And then she sees her opening. Quickly, unnoticed, Darcy darts in and fires the taser in her hand. Loki convulses and drops to the floor, the soldiers stepping back.
The calm man meets her eyes, "Um...OK. I guess that works." He gestures to his people, "Take him away."
Darcy holds up her hand, "No. Darcy gets a minute." She tosses her taser aside and walks over to Loki, stepping over him so one of her legs is on either side of his stomach. She crouches down, elbows resting on her knees, "See...you made a mistake. You came to my girl's lab and made a hell of a mess. And just look...who's beneath who now?" She grins and then tweaks his nose, clicking her tongue as she does, "You...beneath me. You know why? Because nobody fucks with Darcy fucking Lewis." She stands up and steps aside, "Take him away, y'all." As they drag Loki off, she retrieves her taser and, if waving could be sarcastic, she achieves it as she waves to him on his way out the door.
She returns to where Jane, Jimmy, and the interns are slowly standing from behind the desk.
"Darcy, you're crazy," Jane says.
"I'm going to second that," Jimmy adds.
"Well, yeah. You both knew that. But...eh. I've seen some shit. After the whole Malekith thing and the Westview Anomaly, I'm just not into being surprised, especially by space gods." She glances around the lab, "Maybe we should leave this to the custodians. I say this calls for ice cream. Interns? You want some ice cream?" Shaky and uncertain, a few of them nod. "Alright. Ice cream it is. Jane? Jimmy? You coming?" They nod and gather their things as they leave the lab, custodians already on their way.
Darcy grins as she leads them all down the hall, "Space men, 0. Darcy Lewis, 3. Eat that, Thor, Malekith, and Loki. I've got a taser and science by my side."
Jimmy turns to Jane, "Do weird things just follow her, or what?"
Jane shakes her head, "I have no idea...but I do know one thing."
"Oh?"
Jane smiles, "Nobody fucks with Darcy fucking Lewis."