A/N: This is a companion piece to it's hard to breathe sometimes, though it's not necessary to read that first. I don't know why I randomly get into angsty moods and write about Sakura's death every few years lol. Wrote the whole thing in one sitting so there may be some errors (also it's pretty much just word spew). Title from the song of the same name by Chase Atlantic.

Strikethrough text will be underlined and in italics as FF doesn't allow it.

Summary: Following Sakura's death, Sasuke writes her letters that will never be read.

numb to the feeling

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Sakura,

I've been in Konoha for a week. I don't feel like travelling again just yet.

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Sakura,

I've never seen Naruto so devoid of emotion.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually starting to miss the loudmouth's antics.

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Sakura,

I don't know why I'm writing these letters to a dead person. If anyone found them they'd think I'm crazier than they already do. Especially the idiot, he'd never shut up.

He's doing okay.

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Sakura,

I visited the Uchiha compound today. I'm letting them tear it down. There's no use for it anymore.

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Sakura,

Naruto said I look like shit. He should take a look in the mirror.

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Sakura,

They're letting me out the village today. I'm to be reinstated as a shinobi. It's Kakashi and Naruto's doing, I'm not blind to that. If it wasn't for them I'd have a few more months. Or even a year.

I can't wait to be in the forest again.

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Sakura,

I have my first mission tomorrow. Kakashi assigned me, Naruto and Sai on a team. He said it will be like old times.

Naruto punched him in the face. I let him.

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Sakura,

I saw the sunrise through the trees today.

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Sakura,

There was a little girl with pink hair in the market today. A civilian.

-For-a-second-I-thought-it-was-you.-

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Sakura,

The cherry blossom trees are in full bloom. People are travelling from far to come and see them.

I stayed indoors all week.

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Sakura,

-Why-did-you-have-to-die-

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Sakura,

Sometimes I think about my family. My brother, father, mother.

Have you met them yet?

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Sakura,

Ino and Sai are together.

Did you know they were a thing?

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Sakura,

Naruto proposed to Hinata. I'm surprised her father is letting her marry that idiot, but I guess he did save the shinobi world.

He asked me to be his best man. I don't think I'm going to attend.

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Sakura,

Naruto got married today. The bastard said he'd punch me into oblivion if I didn't go.

I think you may have rubbed off on him.

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Sakura,

I spent today at a lake just outside Fire. I had planned to take you there when I returned.

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Sakura,

Naruto had his kid yesterday.

I didn't think you could get a name worse than Naruto but I was wrong. Boruto. They named the child Boruto. I wonder if Hinata had anything to say about it. Probably not.

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Sakura,

I like eating under the trees. A cat tried to steal my lunch today.

It had green eyes like you had.

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Sakura,

Boruto is even more annoying than Naruto. How is that possible? He's three.

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Sakura,

Naruto choked up at the market today. Apparently your mother was at a stall a few away from us.

I never met her.

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Sakura,

Did you like dango? My brother did.

Naruto took me to a dango shop today. Apparently it was your favourite.

Hinata is expecting again. I hope it's not another moron boy with blonde hair. There's already far too many of those.

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Sakura,

It's been a while.

Kakashi's assigning me on tougher missions nowadays. I'm gone for months at a time sometimes.

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Sakura,

Kakashi retired today. Naruto's dream came true.

I still remember when the idiot kept saying he'd be Hokage one day. No one believed him.

He's still an idiot though.

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Sakura,

Naruto convinced me to go to Sai's surprise birthday party. Worst decision ever.

-How-are-you?-

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Sakura,

I'm still not used to seeing Naruto's dumb face on the Hokage mountain.

He deserves it though.

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Sakura,

Boruto asked me to train him. Even the idiot's son thinks I'm better at ninjutsu than him.

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Sakura,

The Uchiha compound is unrecognisable now. I don't know how I feel about this.

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Sakura,

It's been a while. I just came back from a mission. I almost took a hit. Looks like the youth are getting stronger than we were.

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Sakura,

I ate lunch at Ichiraku's with Naruto today.

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Sakura,

Did you fight Sasori of the Red Sand? I never got to ask you about it.

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Sakura,

Naruto's hairline is receding. He was annoyed that I kept bringing it up. Apparently my hair is turning grey. I never noticed.

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Sakura,

I'm getting less missions now. It should've been sooner, if the idiot wasn't Hokage.

-What-am-I-supposed-to-do?-

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Sakura,

Naruto made me the chief of the Konoha police force. I always wanted to be in the police force when I was younger. My father was chief once.

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Sakura,

Kakashi's gone.

I know you're not alone anymore.

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Sakura,

We ate at Ichiraku's today. The owner's daughter runs the shop now. It's different without you and Kakashi.

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-Sakura,-

-I-wish-you-were-here.-

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Sakura,

There's talk of Himawari becoming Hokage someday. Naruto's ecstatic. I haven't seen him like this in a long time.

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Sakura,

Naruto and I spent the day on a cliff just outside Konoha. We could see the whole village. Naruto was reminiscing about our academy days.

He doesn't look that well.

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Sakura,

Naruto was admitted to the hospital yesterday. They think he's got a few days left, but the idiot is hanging on.

He says he's excited to see you again.

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Sakura,

Naruto passed away today.

I think I'm going to leave the village again. I miss being out on the roads. -I-need-to-get-away. This-place-is-only-filled-with-ghosts.-

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Sakura,

Sorry it's been a while. I don't know what to tell you anymore.

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Sakura,

I met a kid named Naruto. People are naming their children after the idiot now?

-I-don't-know-why-I'm-still-here.-

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Sakura,

The sunset was orange tonight. It reminded me of Kakashi's stupid book. We never did get to see behind his mask. You didn't miss much.

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Sakura,

I visited Konoha again yesterday. The place has changed a lot since we were young.

I went to our old training grounds. I remembered how you shared your food with Naruto at Kakashi's first test. We might not have passed if you hadn't done that.

I don't think I'm going to return.

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Sakura,

The forest looks different in spring. I sat under a cherry blossom tree today.

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Sakura,

It rained today. I forgot how much I love the scent of petrichor.

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Sakura,

A bird came to sit next to me. I think it was a magpie.

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fin