You weren't always in love with him. In fact, you were indifferent for months, years maybe. You can remember those times hazily, when you'd laugh and chat and touch each other affectionately at parties, in front of other people, then retreat to opposite sides of the bed once you were home.
It was as if you lived your own life, inside your head and in your sitting room and garden, and then you acted another part. You assumed he did the same, but you never knew. You didn't speak of it.
The first time you ever felt something for him was after the Nott's holiday extravaganza. He'd gone off to smoke cigars at the end of the evening, and you'd been nervous that he would do something rash without you there to supervise, promise too much from your family.
But he didn't. You went home, a little tipsy and quite relieved. You laid down together on top of the blankets of your enormous bed and chatted about how the Notts pastries were dry and how the newly married Parkinsons clearly hated each other, not even bothering to hide it in front of either of you.
You laughed over that, your stomach hurting, and he joined in when you told him what Persina Parkinson whispered about her husband's undergarment preferences. You had never seen him laugh like that before, really laugh, holding his side while his eyes sparkled.
And you were shocked, because he agreed with your 'd expected him to scoff, or to tell you that you shouldn't talk about noble families that way, but this time he didn't. He said that he noticed Perseus Parkinson's propensity towards men, and you stared at him because he took the words out of your mouth.
You fell asleep in each other's arms that night, still wearing your makeup. He whispered "You looked beautiful tonight, Cissy," and you fell asleep smiling like a schoolgirl.
It was the first time that you realized he could be something more to you than just a good match, someone who provided the mansion and supplied the name.
Your story isn't perfect, it isn't love or even hate at first sight, and it's filled with flaws and heartache. But you wouldn't trade it, because when he finally looked at you, and saw you, you felt like the most beautiful girl on the planet.
After that night, you were loyal to each other through it all. And you will be, until death do you part.