Change of Plan
A small, square building sat in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by a field, which was in turn surrounded by a tall chain linked fence topped with barbed wire. The only thing even remotely interesting about the place was that several elegant, black limousines were parked side by side in the grass.
A group of men, all dressed in tuxedos, were walking towards the building. They turned to look up at the sky as a helicopter descended. None of them noticed the red-striped white convertible perched on top of a hill, its open cab shaded from the noon sun by a large oak tree.
"This is the easiest, most lucrative job we've had in..." Face lowered the binoculars and tilted his head for a moment in thought. "Well, ever."
"Mmhmm," Murdock said, seated beside him and looking through binoculars of his own. "Working for royalty does have its perks."
Face leaned back into the red leather seat and rested the binoculars against his chest, staring up the leafy branches above them with a smile. "Ah, yes."
Face was dressed in a black tuxedo, while Murdock wore a faded business suit and thick non-prescription glasses. Two completely separate cons in different stages of completion.
"This is like watching one of those itty bitty clown cars at the circus," Murdock said, adjusting a little wheel on the lenses with his thumb. "Look at that! There's six goons crammed into that whirlybird."
Face idly looked down at the field, but didn't bother with the binoculars. Five men in military camouflage had surrounded the helicopter, while a sixth man in a tuxedo stepped onto the ground. The guards remained with the helicopter while everyone else headed into the building.
Face pointed at another black limo that was making its way across the field. "Here comes the exchange vehicle."
The car phone between their seats rang. They both looked down at it with dismay. That could not possibly be good. Face took a deep breath, picked up the receiver, and pressed the speaker button. "Tony's Diner," he said, giving his voice an Italian lilt.
"Slight change of plans," Hannibal's voice came out of the speaker. Gunfire could be heard in the background. "We need both of you and that chopper at the farm right away."
Face leaned over the phone and waved his hands at it as if the colonel could somehow see him. "That's not possible! Everyone is still here, including the guards!"
"NOW, lieutenant!" Hannibal ordered, and the line went silent with a click.
Face looked up at Murdock, but the pilot was just staring at him. "Don't say it."
"Told you so!" Murdock shouted, jumping over the top of the corvette's door without bothering to open it.
Face got out the more traditional way, but was only a few steps behind Murdock as he stopped to look down the hill towards the fence. A wide open, grassy expanse separated them from their target. They had no cover, and no props. They stared at the helicopter for a moment longer then slowly turned to look at each other.
"That meeting can't last much longer, there's gonna be an army out there any minute," Face said quickly.
"Face," Murdock began, "I don't think we have time to—" he broke off with a startled gasp as the conman suddenly slipped his fingers under the knot of Murdock's tie. He pulled it loose with a quick jerk, then grabbed at the front of Murdock's shirt. Murdock let out a yelp of surprise when Face hit a ticklish spot as he ripped it open until the buttons popped open half way down.
"Go!" Face ordered, breaking into a sprint towards the fence even as he frantically began shrugging out of his tuxedo jacket.
"You could at least buy me a drink first!" Murdock shouted after him. Face already had the jacket flung up to cover the barbed wire at the top of the fence by the time Murdock caught up.
Murdock bent to shove his hands into the damp grass, pulling up a clump to expose the moist roots while Face began climbing. He smeared the muddy mess across his face and ground it into his hair, then grabbed at the fence to follow.
"Bring my jacket," Face called up when Murdock reached the top. Murdock stared down at him with disbelief, but Face just held out both arms in frustration. "Do you have any idea how much this tux costs? I refuse—" the jacket cut him off as it slapped into his face then fell to the ground.
Murdock landed with a squelch on water logged grass.
"Punch me," Face said, then suddenly held up both hands as Murdock drew back his fist. "Not on the mouth, I just got my caps replaced, again, and—" Face staggered back as the blow landed squarely under his left eye.
"Ow," Face complained, taking a precious moment to gently prod at the abused flesh.
"Here," Murdock replied, smearing both muddy hands across Face's crisp white shirt. "It'll wash out, you crybaby," he added at Face's annoyed scowl.
Face hissed in irritation, but snatched up his jacket from the grass without comment and held it up for a quick inspection. The inside of the coat had a few snags from the barbed wire, but so far the garment was still repairable.
"Seriously?" Murdock demanded impatiently.
Face gave a quick nod of satisfaction, slipped back into his battered jacket, and took off again for the helicopter. He kicked off a shoe as he ran, wincing as the wet earth soaked into his sock. They got much closer than either of them had expected before the security guards surrounding the chopper saw them. They broke formation to intersect them, drawing their weapons.
"Oh, thank god!" Face shouted, turning his headlong run into a stagger. "It was terrible!" he cried at the top of his lungs. "Terrible!"
"Halt, or I'll shoot!" one of the men shouted as all of them trained their weapons at the intruders.
Murdock wheezed and stopped running, bracing his hands on his knees as he bent over to catch his breath. He gazed longingly at the coveted aircraft out of the corner of his eye, resting less than three meters from them.
Face ignored the men and their guns, and instead turned on Murdock. "This is all your fault!"
"What, me?" Murdock gasped in outrage as he straightened up and pointed in a random direction away from them. "That tree had no right to be there! How is this my fault?"
One of the security guards looked where Murdock pointed, squinting into the sun. "The closest road that way is over ten miles away," he said as a confused furrow began to form between his brows.
Murdock's arm swung in the opposite direction.
"The highway," Face said, looking back at the guards. "He meant the highway. I think he— yeah, he hit his head." Face gave a little grunt of effort, catching Murdock as he suddenly fell sideways into him. "There ya go, buddy," he continued, pushing at Murdock until he was standing unsteadily upright.
One of the guards stepped forward, gun still raised. "Hands up."
Face obeyed, carrying on frantically as the guard frisked him. "You guys are really a sight for sore eyes, let me tell you." Another guard was giving Murdock a rough once over as well. Satisfied that neither of them were armed, the guards relaxed slightly. "You have to call the police," Face continued. "And my lawyers!"
One of the guards, no doubt the one in command, scowled. He took in their muddied faces, noted the fine cut of Face's clothing and the bruise just starting to darken on his cheek, and realized that there would probably be a lot of questions if these two suddenly went missing. "What happened? Are you supposed to be with that lot inside?"
Face heaved a huge sigh of relief at their incredibly good fortune at the idiocy of this man. This was going to be easy. "You are not gonna believe this, but—"
"Aliens!" Murdock screamed. "It was the aaalieeeens!"
Face closed his eyes with a little sigh. "Aliens."
The guards exchanged looks, and the commander growled with irritation as he holstered his weapon. He raised both hands in a calming gesture. "Okay, sirs, look," he began.
Murdock fell to his knees. "They came from the sky," he said, flinging both arms heavenward. His eyes went very round as he wrapped both arms around Face's leg and hugged for dear life. "They did terrible, terrible things to us." He buried his face in the fabric and sobbed loudly.
Face glared down at Murdock for a split second, then looked back at the guards. "Terrible things," he confirmed flatly.
Murdock fell over on the pavement, unmoving.
"Call an ambulance!" Face shouted and stumbled away from him. "Call the police!"
The guards that still had their guns drawn stepped back as Face closed in on them, but they weren't really aiming. The man in charge was making calming motions while doing a bad job of hiding his irritation, but Face wasn't paying any attention to his words. He cast a quick glance over them, doing a fast cold read based on their expressions. He chose his mark and changed directions with a sideways stagger.
"Do something," he pleaded. He grabbed the soldier by his heavy jacket and got right in his face. "They're here!" The guard's gun arm had been pushed to the side, but he made no effort to bring it to bear. Instead, he stared at Face with dawning fear. The surprised guard didn't react fast enough when Face suddenly released him and bolted for the building. "We have to call the army!"
The guards instantly gave chase, raising their weapons again. "Come back here!" the commander shouted after them. Face skidded to a halt as a chunk of asphalt exploded at his feet. "Stop right there, or I will shoot you!"
Face spun around, raising both arms in surrender. All five guards were bearing down on him. Face heard it then, just barely, and watched as one of the guards frowned and started to turn around. "Huge heads," Face cried, lurching forward to grab at him. "With great big buggy eyes!" He was shouting at the top of his lungs, but he had their attention.
He felt hands on his back and shoulders, pulling him away. He wasn't a real threat, and they were not inclined to deal with the fallout that comes from shooting a wealthy civilian, possibly even one of the people who was supposed to be here but had gotten into a car accident or something.
Several of the guards holstered their sidearms as he began to struggle, while the others tried to subdue him one-handed. He flailed around like an amateur, loudly describing the alien spaceship, as they wrestled him to the ground. They had managed to get Face on his belly with one arm wrenched behind his back and the wrist handcuffed when they finally heard it.
"What the hell?" one of the guards said, lifting his head to look behind them.
"Where did the other one go?" their commander suddenly barked.
The unmistakable sound of the helicopter's rotors could be heard clearly now, revving up to full speed, and the guards suddenly realized what was happening.
Face rolled onto his back, lifting both legs to shove his feet into the chest of the nearest guard. The man staggered backwards with a startled shout, but Face was already swinging his fist. The hard edge of the handcuff knocked another man out cold, his weapon clattering to the ground beside him, but another soldier pinned Face to the ground with a choking headlock.
"Take him out!" the leader shouted, drawing his weapon.
Face closed his eyes as gunfire erupted around him, but flung them open again at the ping of bullets ripping into metal. The roar of the helicopter was deafening now, and Face squinted into the wind in shock. The soldier let go with a cry of surprise as the landing skid of the chopper bowled him over.
Face lay flat on his back with his hands raised defensively as the helicopter spun around in place right above him. The downdraft plastered his clothing and hair to the grass. Murdock howled insanely as the guards scattered in all directions, arms raised instinctively to protect their heads from the tail rotor swinging ominously through the air.
The helicopter did not land, though, but came to a hover right over Face. "All aboard!" Murdock shouted.
A hail of bullets slammed into the side of the chopper, and Face didn't give himself time to think about it. He wrapped his arms and legs around the landing skid and let out a wail of pure terror as the chopper lifted into the sky. Face managed to haul himself into the open sliding door of the passenger compartment. He crawled across the floor, grabbed a seatbelt strap and wrapped it around his wrist. Murdock threw his head back and howled again to the heavens as the chopper spun around a few more times.
Face laid on his belly to lean out the door and threw up over the side. He rolled over onto his back, and lay panting as the helicopter soared off.
"Wow, Faceman," Murdock shouted to be heard over the blades. "It's been ages since I made ya puke. You must be getting soft!"
Face gave himself a few seconds to recover, then climbed into the co-pilot seat and put on the headset.
Murdock smacked the row of dials on the dashboard a couple times. "Boy, I sure hope Hannibal didn't have anything special planned for this bird. We're leaking uh... everything."
Face pulled the harness across his shoulder and buckled in. "Plan B?"
"Uh..." Murdock flipped a few switches. "I think we're on plan F."
The helicopter flew off into the distance, trailing smoke and already starting to make unhappy sputters. The team would get the job done, there was never any doubt about that. But the plan never seemed to go according to plan.
Face sighed. "I hate it when a plan doesn't come together."