A/N: This story is written for QLFC Season 9, Round 6. All required details are at the end. No warnings apply.
Severus slammed the goblet of Wolfsbane Potion on Remus' desk. Teal smoke curled from the edges and the lemon colored liquid sloshed out angrily, forming a large puddle that threatened to ruin the parchment Remus bent over. Severus looked closer at the parchment's sprawling, childish handwriting—essays. They were written by First Years by the look of it.
Remus sighed, as if fully resigned. As if he already knew the exact well-rehearsed rant Severus had brewing in his mind. Without looking up, Remus moved the essays out of harm's way and pulled out his wand to clean the spill.
"There's more. I brewed a full cauldron like always," Severus snapped. It wasn't anything close to the speech he'd planned, which seemed to be dissipating the longer he stood there in Remus' office.
Finally, Remus looked up at him. "Thank you."
Severus saw how tired he looked. All the professors were tired, of course, having stayed up all night searching the castle for Sirius Black and patrolling the Great Hall to guard the students.
But Remus' face held exhaustion beyond what Severus could even imagine. Even in his heaviest of days, when the Dark Lord was a constant in his mind and there was no space in which to hide his double agent truth, Severus hadn't felt as exhausted as Remus looked now. His stomach unknotted some, releasing in sympathy for the man.
"Why…?" Severus trailed off, but Remus nodded, knowing what he'd left unasked.
He could read Severus like no one else. There was an inexplicable and unspoken understanding between them. Always had been. Once, early on, Remus' reading of him had been so eerily on point, Severus had assumed he had been using legilimency. He hadn't been, however, as a quick use of occlumency had proved, followed by Remus admitting he'd rather not know what people actually thought of him. Severus hadn't ever made that mistake again.
"I didn't let Sirius in," Remus said to answer him. "Why would I? He killed my three best friends."
Severus boiled at his use of the murderer's personal name and not full name. He was Sirius Black, escaped prisoner and fugitive of the law. He was a murderer and traitor. He was not simply Sirius. Severus flooded with memories of Lily dead on the bedroom floor. Her child wailing into the silence—Harry. His promise to protect him. To do what Dumbledore asked.
"You have to stay away from him," Severus said abruptly.
"I just told you I didn't let him in. I've not even contacted him since he was arrested. That was twelve years ago. He's as good as dead to me now. I don't see why you won't believe me." Remus' eyes widened, their teal color bright against the whites.
Forgetting his own comment at this revelation of Sirius being dead to Remus, Severus searched his face for any tells. Remus tended to scrunch his nose up and his right eye would squint a little bit whenever he lied. Right now, though, he was telling the truth. His eyes remained wide, quite the opposite of squinting, as they pleaded with him. Remus never begged, so Severus knew he must be as upset by all this as he was. His internal iceberg of anger melted a little.
He steeled himself again, finally remembering what he'd actually meant to convey with his comment. "I meant Harry. You need to stay away from Harry. It's unsafe."
"Is that what Saturday morning was all about? I thought you were just putting on your mean professor act." Remus chuckled.
"I mean it," Severus said severely.
Remus leaned forward and Severus knew he was about to argue. He set his palm flat on the desk, leaning in himself and fixing Remus with an impatient glare.
"I'm not going to stay away from Harry. He needs me. He's got no one to tell him about where he comes from. No one to give him any sense of identity beyond this Boy Who Lived rubbish thrust upon him. It's not like you're helping with any of that, and you've had two years already!" Remus said, turning a pinkish red. A sheen of sweat beaded on his brow.
"That's unfair," Severus said flatly.
"Is it? You're the one putting on the act. He hates you. Everyone hates you. Isn't that what you wanted?"
Severus looked away, his gaze landing on the Wolfsbane Potion. Its stupid teal smoke continued to pour out into the air between them. He hated that teal, so similar to Remus' eye color. He hated it as much as he hated Harry Potter's face. Looking at Harry was like seeing flashes of Lily's fiery warmth set upon James' smirking, pathetic, cruel visage. He wanted to hurt Harry and care for him all at once. It was the exact way he felt about his situation with Remus. He wished he could throw the Wolfsbane Potion across the room and shatter the goblet into a million pieces, as if that would cure Remus' condition. But simultaneously, he wanted to soothe Remus through the long moonlit nights and reassure him he wasn't a monster and that he was worthy of love.
He felt as though he was in a constant state of detonation, about to explode but never able to do so. Even Madam Pomfrey had told him he needed to get his anger in control—that it was consuming him and ruining his health. He didn't know how to calm it.
Remus was right though. He hadn't been helping Harry understand where he came from. Perhaps he hadn't been helping Harry at all, not even for Dumbledore's ultimate mission. It simply hurt too much. The memories were too difficult to relive and being around Harry only brought them all back. But Remus spending time with Harry was too dangerous to continue. He'd either end up dead or a werewolf, exactly like everyone else Severus ever cared about. He didn't understand why Remus couldn't see that.
"What if you miss a dose?" Severus said finally, his voice rising as he continued. "What if you can't control yourself? What if you seek him in your transitional rage?"
"It doesn't work like that. I would hunt the closest human to me, not some specific person." Remus shuddered.
"But his scent will be everywhere in here. You won't be able to stop your predatory nature."
"There's more of your scent in here than Harry's, Sev," Remus said softly.
Severus felt the heat rush to his face as he recollected why there was more of his scent in Remus' office.
Remus had turned a sour lemon, though, almost the same color as the Wolfsbane Potion itself. "Thankfully your theory is not at all accurate, but if it were, it wouldn't be Harry who I hunted down. It'd be you."
Severus winced, mad at himself for causing that type of pain for Remus. He always seemed to make everything worse. All he touched turned to ash. Yet another reason to avoid becoming likable to Harry.
"But Harry is...He's all I have left of her," Severus whispered.
"He's all we have left of her," Remus said.
He reached his hand across the desk to where Severus had his own hand planted. Severus swallowed thickly as Remus' fingertips began to travel the length of his fingers and trace the back of his hand.
"The door's open," Severus managed through his fluttering nerves.
Remus removed his touch, but only to reach for his wand. He shut and locked the door with the flick of his wrist. Then he stood, moving around the desk so he was in front of Severus. Remus caressed his waist, triggering every memory of Friday when they had spent the night together right here. Remus' bedroom was just off the office, through a hidden door that looked like a wall panel behind the tank holding the Grindylow.
Friday had been perfect. Saturday had been looking promising too, as Severus had been heading to check on Remus right after the Halloween Feast. Then Sirius Black had barged into the castle and ruined everything. Just like he always did back in Sixth Year when Severus and Remus had been secretly dating. Severus figured that was essentially what they were doing now. None of the professors knew about their relationship, certainly not Dumbledore, and neither of them knew if it was truly allowed under the rules. There was nothing in their contracts about relationships with other staff, just something about having a duty of care to the students and school itself.
"We are what's left of them. We're the only ones who can convey those memories to Harry," Remus said gently.
"Why is life so unfair?" Severus whispered.
Remus leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips, but Severus was too far gone with his emotions. They came spilling out in waves of heat and salted liquid.
"Everyone I love is either dead or a werewolf!" he wailed as Remus continued to stroke his side soothingly. "There's no remedy for it! No potion to cure it! Nothing. What's the point of this?"
Severus grabbed the goblet as he hissed out the last sentence. The teal smoke trailed behind it as he wrenched back his arm and threw it against the wall. The pewter clanked loudly and bounced to the floor, not shattering or even cracking. Another disappointment.
Lemon colored droplets splashed everywhere, covering the wall and dripping downward with teal smoke wisping off each one. The smoke began to form a teal cloud and Severus wanted to vanish it all, but Remus held down his arms. His body trembled relentlessly, pinned tightly by Remus, who was demonstrating how to breathe for him. Severus mimicked him until his insides eased.
Once he'd calmed, Remus released his grip. "You know how I deal with it?"
Severus shook his head.
"I think of the Wolfsbane Potion like a cloudless day. It's even the right colors. A teal blue sky, lit up by such a fiercely bright yellow. It's like looking into a candy sky. And I know when the night comes, it will be my daylight. It will see me through. And you're responsible for it. You're my source of daylight."
Severus panicked at Remus' earnestness. He had it all wrong. Severus was the darkness, not the light. He certainly wasn't daylight. If anything, he was the night.
"We could just leave, you know. We can start again somewhere else," Severus said, adding hastily, "Together."
"I can't leave this. This is who I am." Remus pressed his hand to Severus' heart. "And this is who you are. And it's okay."
Remus looked into him with those teal eyes, and Severus noticed for the first time they were flecked with lemon yellow slivers. Daylight.
His eyes stayed fixed on Severus as he murmured, "After all, how can you have day without night?"
Severus leaned his forehead against Remus', closing his eyes. Apparently they both thought themselves the night and the other the day. Remus' lips met his again and Severus kissed him back. Perhaps it didn't matter who was actually the night and the day, as long as they were together.
Title: There's No Day Without the Night
QLFC Season 9, Round 6
Chaser 2 (Reserve) - Kenmare Kestrels
Prompt: Link 'Em Up, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Optional prompts used: Teal (colour), Lemon (colour), memories (word)
Word count: 1859
Summary: Severus' Friday night with Remus had been perfect. But when murderer-on-the-loose and Remus' old friend, Sirius Black, somehow breaks into the castle on Saturday evening, Severus wonders if his relationship with Remus is not what he believed it to be.