The white digits of the clock stared back at her. 6:32 .It was her wedding day.
Yet the idea of staying in the comforts of the contemporary hotel suite nestled in the california king size bed with room service, and wine seemed more appealing. Chaos would begin its descent in three hours. A barrage of family, friends and new family that she just met less than 24 hours ago would take over the tranquil space. If she was lucky they'd all be running late.
6:34 she rolled her eyes and turned over in the bed appalled by the clock doing it's job. It was as if time moving forward was a new concept and Maggie no longer wanted to watch it move forward. She couldn't define the feeling she was experiencing. It wasn't nerves and certainly not excitement. She assumed by the time the day arrived her heart would be leaping, skipping and racing out her chest and yet, nothing.
"The dress. Once it's on and I'm actually walking down the aisle it will set in. I'll probably be a sprinkler system crying the whole time." she sprung up satisfied with the idea. Recalling when she had said yes to the ivory gown. Maggie didn't have the over top moment she always dreamt about. No sisters, champagne, tears or her mom. Just her, a venti from Starbucks and Michelle and Stacey the ladies who owned the boutique. Many of the gowns she wanted would have taken months to receive due to covid-19 but, the dress she discovered when she almost gave up was pretty. The ladies in the shop all were in awe of the perfect fit with almost no major alterations needed. Winston will love it .
She reached for her phone on the nightstand and relaxed back into the bed. Her back sank into the king size pillows and went to the hotel's website to order bedding and coordinated linens. The most peaceful nights rest she had in weeks and she attributed to the luxury linens she slept on. Her thoughts immediately went to the next task after their wedding, decorating their home. Maggie slumped down and closed her eyes. Compromise. Compromise. Just like the apartment.
She picked up her phone and scrolled through her camera roll and smiled. Photos of her and Winston whizzed by. And all the haze instantly vanished. "Today I become Mrs. Ndugu."
1:17 p.m
Everyone moved around her as if she was nonexistent. She preferred it that way.
Everything seemed to be fast forwarding toward a big moment that would slow down like a movie. Seconds would seem like hours when the moment she appeared to walked towards her groom she imagined.
Amelia would toss a thumbs up every now and then to check on her. She's a better bridesmaid than a bride. Maggie decided to silence the commotion and keep her earbuds in her ears. It was her distraction. Winston thought it was his idea. No . This was keeping her from word vomiting every thought running through her mind. She turned the volume up a little more.
The wedding was starting in less than 45 minutes and as she looked over her reflection in the mirror donning the sweetheart tulle gown. The glow that everyone kept telling her she was radiating she couldn't see it.
Nothin' like when we lock eyesI look away from time to timeAll I see is you right nowJust wanna lay with you all nightFeel your body next to mine
She quickly stopped the song as soon as his face appeared in her head.
"Maggie are you okay?"
Meredith knew she wouldn't answer her honestly. She had been observing her for weeks. The wall Maggie built this time became impenetrable. The pandemic had created a distance between them that Meredith wasn't sure would ever be able to close. But if she was being honest with herself the distance was pre covid. Maggie's breakup with Jackson and then losing Sabi broke her little sister. And when she needed Amelia and her the most they let her down.
"Mer I'm fine. Just thinking about silly traditions, something new, something blue I don't have something borrowed."
"Oh honey, borrow this bracelet." Catherine walked in wrestling with a tennis bracelet.
"Meredith, can I have a few minutes with Maggie?"
Meredith looked back and forth at both women and closed the connecting doors to the room so they could be alone.
"Let me put this on you."
Maggie extended her wrist and watched as Catherine clasped the diamond bracelet . "Perfect. Now how are you feeling?"
'I'm fine. The day seems to be moving at sonic speeds. But I'm well. How are you Catherine?"
Eyebrow raised Catherine wasn't convinced.
"Truthfully? You don't want to know." Catherine only had one chance to get the truth out of her and she would try it now.
"Is something wrong? The cancer is it... is it back? Richard? Ja... Jackson?"
" Oh chile I'm fine. And so is Richard. I'm just confused as to why I'm attending your wedding and it's not to my son? I thought you two would have sorted this all out by now." Catherine sat down on the chaise and waited for Maggie to give her a reasonable response.
"Catherine!"
"Margaret Pierce. Oh I can elevate my voice too sweetie. This is the most talkative you've been outside of the hospital walls in months let's discuss."
Maggie was in disbelief.
"I'm in a wedding dress. I'm marrying Winston in… In…" she looked around for her phone.
" You are going to marry that rebound in 20 minutes, okay go on." Catherine said without regret. She tilted her head and signaled with her hands for Maggie to speak.
Maggie was stunned. She couldn't move or talk. This is a dream. I'm dreaming.
"You've been avoiding any and everyone about this instant relationship and it's unlike you. You are a grown woman Maggie you can do whatever you want. But don't forget the people that know and love you before you went and found love to hide whatever is hurting your heart. Yes,I hoped your wedding day would mean you marrying my son. I saw what you two meant to each other. I don't know what kept you two apart. I hope this love that you are going to commit to is the one you've been looking for. That it keeps you full, passionate and in love for all your days and ever after. Even if it's not with Jackson. I wish you love Maggie. I don't wish you to settle, baby. I wish you the universe not just stars." Catherine rose from the chaise.
"Doctor of the heart aren't you?" Catherine took Maggie's hands and placed them on her ivory covered chest.
Maggie nodded.
"Do what is right by it then. I love you sweet child."
Catherine walked out. The tears Maggie held decided to flow.
Amelia and Meredith rushed to her side. "Maggie what's going on? What did Catherine say?"
Amelia passed her a tissue.
"You know all the typical things you say to a bride. Words of wisdom and how beautiful I looked. " She bloated her face. "Can you call Lisa to touch up my face Winston can't see me like this."
"I thought I heard her shouting?" Meredith crossed her arms.
"Oh no shouting. You know Catherine. Tips for the a long good healthy happy loving marriage." Maggie never turned to face them she remained facing the mirror pretending to fix the unnecessary.
"Oh. "Meredith and Amelia both looked at each.
"Amelia grab Lisa for me please. Almostgo time."
"Maggie..."
"Yes Mer?"
"You sure you are ready? You've been so quiet. I- We can leave right now Maggie just say the word. I'll go out there and tell everyone that…"
" STOP IT!"
She didn't turn to face her. Their eyes met in the mirror.
"I'm getting married. Meredith."
2:37
Winston held Maggie's hand and as he mouthed I love you over and over doing during the service.
Ditto was all she could muster in response each time.
Time indeed did slow down. The excitement never did arrive in fact she was bored. Bored, annoyed and hot. Exactly why she didn't want an outdoor wedding. But Winston wanted the beach and the man that moved across the country and would move mountains for her deserved a beach wedding.
Richard was saying something but she couldn't make out any of the words. She felt just like Charlie Brown and the gang listening to the teacher go on and on WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH. All she wanted to do was to take a dip into the ocean and get out of this heat seeking dress.
OMG FINALLY THE VOWS
Winston staring at Maggie lovingly began to recite his vows he wrote for her.
"I Winston, take you, Maggie, to be my wife, to share the good times and hard times side by side. I humbly give you my hand and my heart as I pledge my faith and love to you. Just as this ring I give you today is a circle without end, my love for you is eternal. Just as it is made of incorruptible substance, my commitment to you will never fail. With this ring, I thee wed."
He slid the ring on her finger.
Ok my turn.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. And there he was.
"I Maggie, pledge my undying love to you, Jackson, as I invite you to share my life. I promise to be kind, unselfish, respectful, and trustworthy so that together, our dreams of a beautiful future can come true. To this end I call upon all present to witness that I take you Jackson Avery to be my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live. I affirm my love to you. "
The feeling.
That feeling she'd been waiting for finally took over her body. The heat dissipated and chills shook her. She thought of CeCe and her mother that kind of love they described and hoped for her. The one Catherine just reminded her of.
She opened her eyes not realizing they were still closed.
Oh he looks pissed.
"Umm Maggie." Richard was holding a smirk but also stuck in a state of confusion. "You may want to try that again"
"She doesn't have to. She was quite clear." Winston's disgust was obvious.
"It surely was honey. And I for one not mad one bit." Catherine fanned herself with satisfaction.
"Catherine!" Richard was slighty amused but needed to pretend to keep some order.
"Explain!"
Yup he's pissed.
"Okay let's get you guys inside for some privacy. How about let's head in.."
"No, this is fine." Winston interupted Amelia's attempt to calm the waters. "She wanted to embarrass me here. Here is where we'll remain."
"That wasn't my intention Winston, it just happened. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."
"You just blurt out another man's name during our vows? I did more than he's ever done for you. "
"Now hold on one damn minute you think you're gonna disrespect my child cause you can't handle rejection without him here to defend himself? You are wrong. You think you are embarrassing her, no young buck you are embarrassing yourself. Using that you packed up your car and drove across the country as leverage? That is the LEAST you could do. She is Dr Margaret Pierce. She is the damn prize. Now I'm sorry this has happened to you. I truly am. But we will NOT belittle the people I love because I promise you will not win. "
"If she's so much of a damn pri…"
Bill Pierce stepped in front of Winston before he could finish.
"Leave. Now!"
11.09 a.m the next day
"This is crazy dad. "
"What? You are in desperate need of a vacation. When was the last time we got to spend time together?"
"It's been a while. I pop into Boston for a few days and then quickly leave and head back to work. But real RR? I don't know what to do with myself."
"And you are fine with Boston as a destination?"
"You wanna go somewhere else? I thought you wanted to get back to Lynn?"
"I do. But I also want you to have a real vacation. Let's see how quickly you get bored and then make arrangements if necessary. Are you going to see him?"
"See who?"
"Maggie you pledged your love to a man who currently lives in the city I live in. We are on his mom's jet. You know who."
"Honestly I don't if I should."
"Why?"
She didn't say anything for a while.
"What is there to say? He and I didn't work. We can't work. We tried. I tried. The end."
" Maggie, sometimes love is a mess. It's not beautifully packaged like these dramatic box office films a group of writers and production companies try to sell to us. It is work. We are constantly evolving and changing in a world that is constantly changing. We are thousands of feet in the sky and when we land the world could be completely different just like that. And we would need to adapt. Case and point this pandemic. But what hopefully survives within all that mess is love. I know your mom and I didn't make it. I still love her and would do it all over again. She gave me some of the best moments and years of my life. I wouldn't be who I am without Diane. We share you. I would do it all again a million times . Even the hurt."
Maggie reached for her father's hand
"Daddy, when did you become so poetic?"
" The day I became a Dad."