Nock before entering. Part 1
A/N: Please note this contains Adult Theme, and smut.
I hummed quietly to myself as I walked towards Steve's room, the file Tony had handed me grasped tightly against my chest, trying to hold it all together. It had only been a few short weeks since I had started with the Avengers, and already I was bugged at the sheer amount of paperwork they had. It almost made me miss my old job. As annoying as customers were when they had called, it was so much easier compared to this.
"Which one was it again?" I wondered aloud. Smiling to myself at my own idiocy when I realised there was just one door on this corridor, I knocked on the door opening it. At the sight before me, the file fell out of my grasp, papers falling everywhere. Steve jumped up from the floor, grabbing a blanket and pulling it around his waist.
"It's not what it looks like," he said quickly, cheeks a bright tomato red. I watched as he moved slightly, revealing Bucky leaning against part of the headboard, clearly unaffected by the fact he was starkers. I blushed profusely, futilely attempting not to look, but my eyes had other plans, and they enjoyed the view laid out before me.
Without saying anything, I bent down and quickly picked up the papers, not caring if they were in the correct order or not. I put them back in the file, slid it across the floor towards him.
"Report from Tony. I didn't see anything," I said, extremely embarrassed, and high-tailed it out of there. I could not believe it. Of all the people to walk into, they were the last I would have expected. Though I suppose in a way it did make sense…
Later, that evening, I was sat in one of the small offices I normally used when I was working. I had been here for hours, avoiding Steve and Bucky, and anyone else for that matter. I was still so embarrassed. Granted, I was no stranger to sex, but there was just something about the two. I could not stop thinking about it. The scene replaying in my mind over and over. I could feel my cheeks heating up again. There was no way I would ever be able to face them again. I would have to find a new job, and a new place to live. Maybe S.H.I.E.L.D. had some other openings… Deciding that I would be better to sleep on it, I saved my work and closed the computer down. Lord knew there was no way I would have gotten any more work done. I needed a distraction, and I needed it fast. Donuts, coffee, and a movie in my room. 'If I could concentrate enough that is', I thought to myself.
I stretched and yawned loudly, reaching over to lift my phone, groaning when I realised it was only 6 a.m. Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I struggled to get out of the bed, stretching again when I finally stood. I needed coffee and a donut. The perfect breakfast combination. I lived off the two. I needed them as much as air, if not more. Pulling a black S.H.I.E.L.D. hoodie on over my pj's, I plodded my way down to the kitchen.
"You are up early." I looked over to the direction of the voice as I made it into the kitchen. Meeting Bucky's equally sleepy gaze, I almost double-backed on myself, but my desperate need for the caffeinated beverage and sweet release of sugar won out.
"Ermn…" I raked my brain for something simple to say, but it was blank. My mind was still in post sleep mode, and I knew that I would end up saying something embarrassing. Bucky smiled knowingly at me.
"Steve tried to look for you after…" He narrowed his eyes slightly, a smirk playing on his lips. "Could not find you anywhere though. Where did you disappear to?" I turned my face so he would not see the blush slowly creeping up. Putting a spoonful of coffee into my mug, I went to reach the sugar, only to realise the canister was empty. Hanging my head with a sigh, I opened the cupboard and attempted to reach the sugar.
"Why do they insist on putting it on the top shelf?" I muttered to myself. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the sugar, hoping beyond all that the blue glow would appear, and the sugar would move into my hand. Nothing. I turned slowly to look at Bucky. "Would you mind?"
He smirked, coming over. "Anything for you, doll," he drawled, and reached passed me. He was so close; I could feel the heat radiating off him. It resulted in another bright blush, one which he could blatantly see. Handing me the sugar, he took a step back. I sucked in a breath, not realising I had been holding it. "So… where'd you go?"
I swallowed the lump starting in my throat. "I was ermn… I was working. Paperwork, ya know. Someone's got to do it," I said with a slight chuckle. He took another step back, crossing his arms, and leaning against the island counter.
"You were avoiding us." It was not a question. I hummed thoughtfully, finishing off my coffee, and taking a deep gulp of the burning liquid before answering.
"Look I… Cannot apologise enough. I had no clue… Not that it is any of my business, of course. I think it is nice that you have each other…though." I was rambling, and Bucky's face was a picture of calm, and so hard to read. I drank down the rest of my coffee, studying the strange lino flooring.
There was silence for a few minutes before Bucky finally spoke. "Can you keep it to yourself?" His tone was so even as well, it threw me off a bit. I was honestly expecting a little more emotion from the super soldier.
"I would never say anything. Not my secret to share." Bucky nodded once and walked off towards the elevator. I breathed a sigh of relief, setting my cup in the sink.
True to my word, I had not told a single soul about what had transpired between the two super soldiers. Not during mission briefs, or even when Nat, Wanda and I had our little gossip sessions. We still had some strange early morning encounters between the three of us, but they seemed to loosen up a bit more around me when no one else was about. It was nice to see that they were getting more comfortable about it. I knew Bucky was still a little strange regarding having me here after everything that had transpired with Loki and the tesseract, but we were getting on better than when we had first met at least. Though it was sometimes difficult to interact with the two. No matter how long ago it had been since I had walked in on them, it would still creep into my thoughts every now and then, and the more it happened, the more I was beginning to realise that the embarrassment was slowly turning into something else. Something else that I would never admit, not even if it were with my dying breath.
"You seem deep in thought," Nat said as she sat beside me at the large dining table. I was fiddling on my laptop, chewing on my bottom lip. It had become a nervous habit over the last few weeks.
"Just thinking," I replied, typing a few more sentences before running off in my head again. Nat smiled, closing the lid of my laptop.
"About?" she prompted me. Sighing, I rested my chin on my left hand. I knew that talking about it would help but admitting what I knew deep down was terrifying. I had never fully opened to any of them about the inner workings of my brain, and I was not even sure what that was myself. Debating it with myself would take forever though. Better to start somewhere.
"Do you ever feel like two different people?" I began hesitantly. She narrowed her eyes in thought.
"As in personality or like going undercover kind of deal?" She sat back in her chair, hands resting lightly in her lap. I thought carefully over the words, making sure they came out right.
"More like… ermn… A coin has two sides, right?" She nodded. "Sometimes I feel like a coin. There is this light side to me, the good, kind and caring side, but the other side of me, the dark, mysterious bad ass side, does not get shown an awful lot. With everything going on recently… I do not know… Sometimes I feel like two different people…" My voice trailed off, trying to think of another way to rephrase what I was trying to say. Nat smirked at me knowingly.
"This is about the crush on Bucky you have been so desperately trying to hide, is it?" She asked with a smirk. My mouth flapped open and closed a few times like a fish.
"N-no… Absolutely not!" I scoffed, though I could tell Nat did not believe me.
"I thought you liked Steve?" Asked a voice behind me, making me jump. I turned to glare at Wanda, but she giggled and pulled a chair up beside Nat.
"I-I do not like either of them," I hissed. Nat and Wanda shared a knowing look before looking back at me.
"Yeah, we totally believe you. Explains the coin, though. You like Steve, which is the light and wispy side of you, but Bucky brings out your darker side. The real question you are asking here, is this. Is it acceptable to a, be drawn to both sides of the coin, and b, what happens if they meet?" Nat hi-fived Wanda triumphantly, crossing her arms and smiling back to me in that way that she does, smugly, but not in your face smug.
"I am so lost, but… it feels wrong somehow… Yet, it does not. It is weird, right? Like they are my friends, and insanely hot, but they understand me. I do not know…" I sighed again, my face in the palms of my hand. My thoughts raced; my heart danced. Talking out loud about it was strange, and knowing what I knew about the two, it made it seem all the worse. I was attracted to the two males, and me and Steve were, at one-point, good friends. Even if I had been avoiding him a little more lately. I just got so flustered around the two, knowing and remembering what I saw.
"It is more than a crush, isn't it?!" breathed Wanda, clapping her hands together excitedly. "Oh, you would all be so cute together!"
"Who'd be cute together?" Wanda and Nat both looked behind me, and I turned, blushing profusely when I saw Bucky standing behind me, shirtless.
"No one, just girl talk. You would not be interested in it," I said quickly. From the look Nat gave me, it may have been a tad too quickly. Gathering up my things and tucking my laptop underneath my arm, I gave them all a brief nod before standing.
"I'll get the link to a website that I know of. It will explain it all in better detail. Might be something you… could use, but it's all totally ok," said Wanda, giving me a wink. I blushed, looking down almost immediately. Thanking the two girls, I headed out of the room.
"What the hell was that about?" asked Bucky. Nat chuckled lightly.
"Two sides of a coin," she said simply.
I was tying my hair up out of my face when I saw Nat next. Today began my first day of training with the team, and I was as nervous as anything. Although I had been training with S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents, they were nothing compared to the level of the Avengers, a fact that sometimes scared me, and to think I would not have been here if I had not of touched the damned… whatever it was in Tony's makeshift lab.
"Anything important I need to know before hand?" I asked her, while attempting to tame my frizzy hair. I had not spoken much more to the girls about Bucky or Steve, and they had avoided the topic as well. The website Wanda had given me though talked about polyamory, and while it made sense in the broad spectrum of things, it did nothing to quell the longing I was hesitant to admit. Especially knowing that the two were dating. I was in way over my head.
"I've already told them to go easy on you to begin with, and there will be no magic training with Wanda until you have more complex self-defence down. I know you are anxious about it all, and yes you have trained with Agents, but this is a completely different level of hard," she said, handing me bandage looking things.
"Them? I thought my training was going to be with you?" I asked her, glancing over my shoulder at her. I was not in the mood to start of my training with someone other than Nat. It would be embarrassing enough as it was without a taunting crowd. Nat looked guilty, but she hid it well.
"I have a briefing with Clint and Fury, so… Bucky and Steve offered to take over." She gave me her best 'I am sorry' face, but it did not stop the groan from leaving my lips.
"No one else available?" I asked with a hint of 'no not them' in my voice. She shook her head.
"They are the most likely to…" She looked away for a second, but I got what she was trying to say.
"If I lose control of the tesseract energy, they are most likely to come out the other side. Cannot argue with that one I suppose" I said chuckling lightly. She still looked a little guilty. "There is more?"
"Steve may have overheard me and Wands talking about your… lack of a love life." She was hesitant to continue. I could see she did not want to say anymore, but I needed to know. If they ever found out, I would be mortified for life, and there would need to be a new job on the horizon.
"How bad?" I was sure I was not going to like the answer.
"They do not know who, but we might have given the impression that you were open to the idea of… more than one." I balked, my face a pure sheen of white. I saw how serious she was, and nearly died from the shock.
"Please tell me you are kidding. There is no way in hell I can face them now!" I cried. Nat laughed.
"The only awkward thing about it will be the how do you insert into their little dynamic," she said with a laugh. I just stared at her, shocked now at this 'new' revelation. "What? Did you honestly think no one knows they have been fucking like rabbits? Please, the whole tower could have figured that one out!" I just stared at her. My mind was a blank slate. I could not think.
"Does everyone know?" I eventually squeaked out. She smiled, shrugged, and patted my shoulder.
"Have fun in training!" I swallowed, and she spun on her heel, leaving me to finish preparing for my training.
I reluctantly made my way down to the gym, where Steve was hanging punching bags and Bucky was sitting on a bench, clearly enjoying the view he had of Steve. Not saying a word, I sat down a few paces from where Bucky was, concentrating on the bandage things that Nat had given me. Though it was not going very well. I had never been great with wrapping my hands, and mostly used light gloves.
"Here let me help you those," said Steve, reaching for my hands. I hesitated, earning a grunt from Bucky, as if to say, 'I told you so'. I threw him a smug grin before letting Steve wrap my hands in the bandage thing. Steve's fingers were light against my hand, and I struggled to keep the blush from staining my cheeks. I would sooner die of embarrassment, which was becoming a clearer possibility.
"So, doll, where do you want to start?" Bucky drawled, standing from the bench and coming to stand by Steve, a look of pure mischief on his face. Steve threw him a warning look, before smiling at me.
"Well… Nat had been planning just to see what level I had gotten to with the training S.H.I.E.L.D. had given me, but I don't think I would be anywhere near super soldier level," I said sheepishly. Steve nodded, and pulled me over to the punching bag.
"Take a few practice swings, loosen up a bit. We will probably avoid proper sparring for the moment," he said patting the bag.
I nodded, taking a deep breath. Suddenly feeling self-conscious at the two staring at me, my first punch to the bag slopped a bit. Bucky tried to contain a laugh over a cough, but I heard it. Embarrassed, I punched again, imagining his face, and sent the bag flying off the hook with a burst of blue light from my hand. I stared at it in wonder, watching as the blue faded. Looking up to see the two's reaction, I was happy to see the shock on Bucky's face.
"I was not aware you could do that," said Steve with a nervous laugh. I smiled, throwing all the smug I could muster into my reply.
"Neither was I." My eyes glowed with humour, and Bucky straightened slightly.
"Let's see what you can do, doll," said Bucky, waving his metal hand in the direction of the matts. I narrowed my eyes, standing to my full height. I knew I was being stupid for taking on his challenge, but in that moment, I wanted to show them I was more than what they all believed of me. Whatever that was.
I stepped over cautiously, taking up a fighting stance. "Bring it on, tin man," I said with a smirk. He tilted his head to the side, giving me a look that told me he was up to something.
"Just go easy on her Buck," Steve said, concern lacing his words. I shook my head.
"No holding back," and we began to dance. The first few punches were easy to dodge, as I could clearly see what moves he was planning. The next couple of swings were more calculated, and it took me a little longer to catch up. Bucky was aiming for predictability, probably in order to let me feel comfortable. I was not going to fall for it though. Swinging with my right hand aimed at his chest, he feigned a dodge and I swung low, avoiding his metal arm by millimetres. Spinning, I aimed the heel of my palm up, towards his chin. He caught it easily though and twisted my arm, pulling me in so my back was to his chest. I could hear his light pants, his breath ghosting over the back of my neck.
"Got to do better than that, doll," he breathed. I chuckled lightly and stomped on his foot with all the strength I could muster. It did not even phase him. Releasing me, I stepped forward, and turned to face him.
"Again," I said, determination taking over any other thought. I was going to give this all I had.
We continued fighting like this and, Bucky's punches and kicks landing more and more, despite my attempts at blocking. Even when they switched and I was fighting Steve, it was becoming more increasingly difficult to hold my own against the two. It made my heart sink a little at the sheer power the two possessed. I knew they could tell I was getting disheartened, but they kept encouraging me, offering helpful hints and tips as I sparred the pair in turns.
"Lighter on your toes, makes it easier to dodge," said Steve as I barrelled towards Bucky. I was panting heavily, trying harder and harder to stay on my feet.
"Maybe we should call it," Bucky said, eyeing my state. I scowled at him. I was not giving up that easily, no matter how much my body was protesting.
"I could do this all day!" I spat, twisting on my heel and attempting to roundhouse him. Bucky leaned back at the last second, and I fell flat on my ass. Swearing, I tried to stand, but only managed a hunched over position.
"Y/N part of being a good fighter is knowing your limits. I think we should call a break for now, work on some other things," Steve said.
"NO!" I growled. Rage flooded threw me at the way they were both looking at me. It made me feel weak, useless. I did not think, just moved. Lunging forward, I ducked low, sweeping out with my foot. Catching Bucky off-guard, he landed on his back, but bounced back to his feet just as quick. I lunged again, bringing my fist to meet his face, and sent him flying back, crashing a few feet away. I stared at him in horror, realising I was completely awash with a blue glow. The anger coursed through me still, and I fought to reign it in. Bucky lay there, unmoving, and I just mellowed out. I stopped glowing, just stood there, watching Bucky to see if he moved.
"Oh my God, I have killed him!" I croaked out. Finally moving, I dropped to my knees beside him, checking for a pulse. It was steady and strong. Tears welled up, and I sucked in a ragged breath. Steve put a hand on my back, and I looked up at him. "I was so angry… I just…" My voice trailed off.
"You are not used to the energy you have. The trigger is the key to discovering how it works. So, what made you angry? What were you thinking about?" he asked me gently. I blushed, looking between Bucky and Steve. How was I supposed to tell him? That the fact that they saw me as weak, barely keeping pace with either of them, angered me. I wanted to be seen, seen by them. It was a pipe dream, something that never happened, but you would dream of it anyway. How perfectly strange I must be to them. To them all. This nobody who made one mistake fiddling about with one of Tony's toys. I felt like a right idiot.
Bucky opened his eyes, his gaze meeting mine, and he smiled. "That is more like it!" I stayed where I was on the ground, lost in the abyss of my own thoughts. Bucky and Steve exchanged a look of concern that I missed.
"I think that is enough for today," I said quietly. I stood up, not looking at either of them as I went to walk towards the gym doors. A hand grabbed me, spinning me back round to face the two. Still, I avoided looking up at them. Shame coursed through me. For everything. For my attraction, for my idiocy at not knocking first, at my humiliation for what had transpired during this training session.
"Talk to us, doll." Bucky raised my chin with a gentle hand. I stepped back, letting his arm fall back down.
"I-I am sorry… For everything… You were right, I should not be here-" My voice cracked, the hot rush of tears cascading down my cheeks. I looked down, embarrassed once more at myself. The two pulled me forward, grasping me tightly in a hug, not quite sandwiched between the two. We stood like that for a while, and eventually I melted into their hold. I felt so safe and secure standing like that with them both; I never wanted to let go of the feeling.
"Let's get you cleaned up," Steve murmured. I nodded, and we separated from our embrace. I thanked them both, and apologised to Bucky again, before heading out to the showers.
Nat came rushing over to me when she saw me struggling to sit down. My body was aching, and I silently cursed myself for allowing myself to train so hard.
"Are you ok Y/N?" Nat asked, helping me to sit down. I chuckled to myself, before smiling at her.
"I went a little overboard on training today, that's all," I replied. Nat gave me a look to say she did not believe me but decides against questioning me further. I smiled gratefully at her, and she brings over a bottle of coke and a few biscuits, handing me the television remote. We both turn our heads as Steve and Bucky come in through the door. I scowl at the pair, before turning my head back to the television and began flicking through the channels.
Nat walked over to the super soldiers, a serious look on her face. Steve balked slightly but said nothing to her. Bucky grinned at me like a kid, winking when I glanced up at him making me flush, before looking at Nat.
"What?" he asked, a knowing smirk on his face. Nat glowered at the sexy as hell men.
"She can barely stand, let alone sit down. What the hell did you two do during training?" she demanded. I tilted my head, listening to the conversation unfolding behind me. Steve noticed the gesture, but said nothing, walking over to the mini fridge, opening the door and grabbing himself and Bucky out a beer.
"Y/N insisted on keeping up the rough pace. She did well though, even managed to get Bucky on his ass," said Steve. Bucky nodding in agreement, trying to hide his chuckle with a cough. Nat shook her head at them.
"I swear if either of you try anything on her I will murder you both," she hissed. Bucky gave Nat a look before coming to sit at the other end of the sofa from me.
"How're you feeling Y/N?" Bucky asked me. I glanced over at him, seeing the genuine concern. My face flushed, and I turned away from him, trying to concentrate on the documentary of sea life I had put on.
Steve came over, but as he was about to sit down beside me Nat jumped over the back of the sofa, forcing him to sit beside Bucky. Bucky did not mind the proximity to Steve, and I watched him as he placed his arm over the back of the sofa, right behind Steve's head. I watch with mild amusement as Steve's cheeks redden ever so slightly before I look back at the TV, a sliver of jealousy, ridiculously small, running through me. I had to remind myself that the hug we shared after training was just a hug, and my female hormones raging rampantly were reading too much into it. Throwing myself that intensely into training was always going to be a bad idea, but it was better than getting jealous over the two men.
"I didn't take you to be a documentary kind of person Y/N," Steve muttered, slightly amused. I just nodded.
As the four of us watched the TV, the commentator began talking about the mating patterns of different fish. I choked on a sip of my coke at the mention of it and tried to change the channel as quickly as I could. Nat looks at me, as she takes the remote out of my hand and turns the TV off. She looks pointedly between the three of us.
"What the hell is going on between you three?!" She demanded. I laid my head against the back of the sofa, letting out a deep breath.
"Other than the usual bull crap, absolutely fucking nothing," I replied huffily. Nat noticed the tone of my voice, and she is sure that Steve and Bucky heard the inflection behind my words as well. Sighing dejectedly, I got up off the sofa with a groan, and stumbled towards the door.
"We aren't done here Y/N!" Nat called to my retreating form, but I pointedly ignored her, heading towards the elevator. Had I looked back, I would have seen Steve and Bucky watching my retreating form, with a longing that they both mirrored.
Flopping down on my bed, I clutched my body pillow tightly to myself, swearing at myself for being such an idiot. It was not enough to just like one guy, let alone two, but I had to have the biggest crush on those idiots, who try as they might to hide their relationship, were failing at it miserably.
"Why can't I have a person?" I asked myself sullenly. A knock at the door gets my attention. "I am not here!"
The door opens anyway, revealing Peter. "Mr Stark has a new mission for us Y/N. I was wondering if you're coming to the meeting?" I stared at him with a ghost of a smile on my lips.
"I can't," I reply with a tight smile. Peter nodded his head and left, the door shutting softly behind him. I was not sure who exactly knew, but I had yet to be cleared to go out on missions, since absorbing the energy from the tesseract. I could fight fine, and I was good with the throwing knives Loki had gotten me for Christmas last year, but I still had not mastered the tesseracts power, and until I could, I knew I would not be going anywhere.
Stretching my hand out in front of me, I watched in awe as a small blue light began to form in the palm of my hand. It was cold, very cold, but it did not bother me. Sometimes I would try to summon the blue energy, but it did not always work. It was something I was teaching myself to focus and take my mind off things. The blue ball spread, until it enveloped me in a frosty chill. I kept it up, the feeling of the cold soothing my aching, sore muscles, until eventually I felt completely restored. Shocked, I stood up. Nothing hurt, nothing ached. I did a few practice stars jumps and felt completely fine.
"Did I… Did I just heal myself?" I asked myself aloud. Excited to let the others know I had discovered something cool, I rushed outside, slamming into a hard wall of muscle, then stumbling back into another wall of muscle. I looked up, to see Bucky smirking down at me. I could feel Steve standing behind me, almost like a sixth sense. The two were never far from each other.
"We are in a rush, aren't we?" asked Bucky, his voice seductive and alluring. I was at a loss for words, momentarily forgetting my recent discovery as I tried to remember how to breath.
"Cat got your tongue?" Steve asked then, his mouth right by my ear. I stuttered, trying to form a coherent sentence. Taking a giant step away from the pair and not watching what I was doing, I slammed my head against the door frame with a resounding 'thwack'. I slumped forward slightly, cursing as I felt something trickle down the back of my head, the spot now sensitive and throbbing. Reaching my hand up to feel the back of my skull, I winced at the pain, pulling my hand away to reveal blood. I stared at it for a moment, before retching, a wave of nausea overwhelming me. Bucky stretched his arms out to grip me as I swayed, still retching.
"You ok, Doll?" he asked with worry. I looked up at him weakly, before nodding. Wincing at the movement. Then I remembered my new magic trick and tried to summon the blue glow. After a few attempts, my head finally started to glow an icy shade of blue, and the thumping subsided. Staring at me in shock, Steve moved to check my head.
"It's almost completely healed!" he said incredulously. Bucky, looking surprised walked around me and checked my head too. I smiled slightly to myself.
"That's what I was on my way to tell everyone. I think I've worked out how to use the energy from the tesseract, kind of," I said. Taking a deep breath to settle my nauseous stomach, I stumbled into my room. I needed to shower to get the tangy smell of blood off me before I really did throw up.
Uninvited, Bucky and Steve, both followed me into the room, sitting on either side of my bed as they watched me fumble in my drawers for towels, using one hand. A thought occurred to me then as I listened to the pair muttering to each other, not quite loud enough for me to hear. I turned slowly to face them, Bucky sitting back against my head bored with a raised knee and Steve leaning on Bucky's knee.
"What are you two doing on this floor anyway? Aren't you guys up top?" I asked them suspiciously. Bucky smirked.
"We were just coming to check on you, see how you were after… training," he replied, an innocent look about his face. Steve watched him closely, eyeing me every now and again.
"It was intense, and it hurt like a mother f- It hurt a lot after," I finished, watching as Steve looked like he was about to scold me for swearing. Bucky nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. "Now if you don't mind, I need to take a shower." I attempted to get the guys off my bed, but they did not budge. They shared a knowing look, and Steve got up, walking towards me.
"Now is not the time for games," I said seriously, backing away from him slowly, like a deer caught in headlights. Bucky got up as well, coming from the other side. In my panic about what the hell they were doing, I attempted to summon an energy shield, but nothing happened. "God damn it!"
"Language, Princess," Steve said huskily to me. I stopped where I was, frozen to the spot. They kept walking towards me, deliberately slowly, and as a last-ditch effort I dove for the bathroom door. Just as I was about to close it, a metal hand thudded against the door, stopping me from closing it, and I let out a nervous giggle. My heart was pounding, and I could not help but feel one hundred percent turned on by whatever they were doing. This game was hot as fuck.
I kept backing up, until my back hit the sink, Bucky coming closer to me, Steve not far behind him.
"I don't know what the hell you think you are playing at," I began, trying to think with a clear head, "but it is not funny, and it needs to stop right now!" Bucky stopped then, mere inches in front of me, close enough that I could smell his musky sandalwood cologne. It smelt amazing, and I almost forgot myself until I remembered the two men before me, Steve in a compromising position in front of Bucky. They were with each other, not trying to get me in their bed. I was mistaking their flirting for something else, and my heart sank as the realisation hit me like a freight train. I was reading the situation all wrong. Too wrapped up in my own dirty thoughts and desperation for proper human contact. "I really need to get laid," I muttered to myself, shaking my head. Bucky and Steve, both heard me though.
Taking another deep breath, I summoned the shield again, pleased when I was suddenly encased in an icy blue cocoon. The shock of the shield in place momentarily distracted the two in front of me, so I dove into the shower slamming the door quickly and locking it from the inside, staring at the pair and sticking my tongue out with a smirk.
"Y/N, what on earth are you doing?" asked Bucky confused. Steve came over and stood beside him. I turned around so they could not see my face.
"I have blood matted in my hair. I can smell it and it is making me queasy. I need to get a shower, so either get out or watch me." I began to take my top off, glancing back at Bucky and Steve, who were standing there defiantly. "Well?!"
"We'll watch," said Bucky, an amused glint in his eye, as Steve chuckled. I stuttered again, trying to understand what was going on.
"Bucky, I'm not in the mood for fun and games. It is not fair to me, and Steve you should know better. Now unless there is something you need to tell me, piss off. Only so much crap I can take from a gay man…" Bucky raised an eyebrow at me, and I blushed profusely as I realised what I had said.
"Who are you calling gay?" Steve asked, smirking at me. I could tell there was something they were not saying. The look they shared undiscernible to me.
"You two are dating," I stated. Steve and Bucky both nod their heads. "So that makes you gay. Do not see what I have to do with it." I said plainly. Bucky looked at Steve, as Steve wrapped an arm around his waist.
"Is it not obvious? Now open the shower, doll," said Bucky, looking at me. I swallowed nervously. He gave me a look, one that started my heart racing a hundred miles an hour, but I was not sure if it was fear or lust, or a mixture of both. "Open. The Door," he repeated.
"No, because it is not obvious to me. I am staying put until you tell me what is going!" My cheeks were heating up at the thought of what would happen if I opened the shower door. The last time the Avengers went on a mission, I was tricked into being locked in a cell by a very handsome Agent, who knew exactly the words I needed to hear for me to follow him, the fear of not knowing what would happen with the energy from the tesseract inside of me too much of a risk to leave me free while no one was around. I had understood where they were coming from and had said to them if they had told me that the reason was because of the fear of no control over my powers, then I would have happily obliged. I had been pissed at the thought that a guy used my fatal flaw of being attracted to every guy who gave me a second look, to trick me into following him against my better judgement.
The memory of that awful time clouded my mind, and Steve and Bucky saw the change in my demeanour. The sexy and enticing game they had been playing with me all but forgotten.
The memories flashed through me, remembering waking up in a cell, on my own. No one around for almost a week. No idea what I had done to deserve it. Originally, I thought I had been kidnapped. It was not a great week, and I still sometimes had nightmares about it. The fear of the never-ending loneliness. The fear that I would be left there and forgotten forever. It made my heart ache.
"Get out," I spat at them, sinking to the shower floor, my head gripped in my hands as the memories flooded me. Bucky crouched down till we were on the same level. "I SAID GET OUT!" I sat there, my head in my hands, holding back the tears. They clearly saw how scared I was, as the flashbacks took over. Bucky recognised it all too well.
"Open the door, Y/N," Bucky said, a tone so full of command I could not refuse. I met his gaze, a completely different look on his face now. I stared at him unblinking for what seemed like forever, then hesitantly raised myself to my feet, and with a shaking hand unlocked the shower door. I made no move to open it though, still trapped in the fear of my own head from that awful time. It was the reason I had a lock on my shower door, on the inside. I could control the lock being open and being closed. Very few things in this world could be controlled, but locks gave me that little power over the anxiety if it ever struck. Though I had not had an anxiety attack in a long time, partly thanks to the two before me. My best friends, my biggest crushes. I knew I could trust them with my life. Or at least, I had hoped I could. Now, I was not so sure.
Steve watched me carefully, as he slowly opened the shower door. I stood there panting, and the look on my face broke their hearts.
"I'm not going to that cell, and you can't make me," I said quietly. They knew what I was referring too, as they had been the ones to hear me screaming and had released me when they had realised that Tony had gotten me locked up. But they had also tried to defend his actions, saying I should not have held a grudge against the moron.
The tears welled, threatening to break free, but I did my best to blink them back. Understanding dawned on Steve, as he recognised the situation for what it was. He had gone through it with Bucky after all.
They reached out, and gently took one of my hands in one of theirs and pulled me out of the shower. Bucky behind me, Steve in front of me. I was sandwiched between the two. The damn of emotions broke loose, and I began to sob. The tension, the longing for them both, the reminder of getting locked up and how it felt overwhelming to me, how it affected me to this day. Sandwiched between the two soldiers, I let all the fresh emotions out. They held me tight. I felt safe, and warm, and that made it a little bit worse. I clutched on to them both with every ounce I had.
I was sitting in the foyer outside the conference room. Tony, surprise-surprise, refused to let me sit in on the mission debrief. I did, however, convince Bucky to take a comms link in so I managed to mostly follow what was being said.
Eventually, the door opened, and people began to flow out. I avoided Bucky and Steve's gaze as they walked past me, the memory of my breakdown in the shower still fresh. I was embarrassed beyond all reason. I stealthily removed the comm link from my ear, while pretending to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Once everyone had cleared off, I went over to the door, pleased to see that Stark and Bruce were still there, talking about something. I decided to be direct and get straight to the point.
"I am not being forced into a cell when you guys go on your mission," I said. Tony looked at me, a contemplating look on his face.
"Honestly, kid, I don't know what we are planning yet. With you beginning to be able to use the tesseract power, it would be risky to leave you, untrained in using it, by yourself. The alternative is to leave someone here with you, but I do not think we will have many volunteers, with the high importance of this mission. I couldn't leave you like that Y/N," he stated honestly. I nodded my head in reply, thinking of another solution.
"What about an energy dampener? Like they used for the tesseract holding case? Could you design something similar for a person?" I asked curiously. He looked up at the ceiling, bringing hands behind his head.
"That, is not a bad idea, and it is definitely possible… but why stop there? If we can make something… to dampen the power…, would it be possible to make something to focus it…?" he trails off in contemplation. "It would mean you could better focus it until you learn how to control it, even maybe put a limit on how much you could draw on at one time."
"Oh, you could add a dampener as a failsafe, it means if it becomes too much too quickly, she can be remotely shut off. The energy I mean. Not you, of course," added Bruce. I nod in appreciation to the two before heading out of the conference room.
I was skipping along, minding my own business, when I felt a tug on my arm. I looked up, surprised to meet Bucky's gaze, before I was pulled into one of the many small offices on this floor. He locked the door behind me, and pulled the blinds shut. I scoped out the room, realising with a sinking feeling that there were no other doors in this room. Avoiding Steve's gaze again, I went and sat on the furthest desk from them, wiggling a computer mouse to light up a computer screen. I watched them through my peripheral vision as Steve sat at the desk next to me, spinning his chair to face me, while Bucky leant against the computer desk I was at, looking down at me. I ignored the pair and logged in to the computer.
I stayed like that while waiting for the computer to load. I could feel their gazes boring holes in me, and eventually got fed up with them staring at me.
"What?!" I demanded, still avoiding making eye contact with them. Steve spoke first.
"We need to talk," he said simply. I glanced over at him for a fraction of a second. I opened the computers start menu, looking to see if there was any paperwork added for me to fill in. I felt that I should make the most of my time in here, as I did not think I would be sharing a whole lot with the two. My face heating up at thought of telling them both how I felt.
"Look if it's about earlier… That was not meant to happen. With this big mission coming up and everyone being gone for so long it brought back some bad memories. I wasn't long joined when you guys first left remember," I said in return.
Sighing, I turned my chair ever so slightly, finally looking at Steve. "But while we are talking, care to explain what the hell got into the two of you? It was seriously weird behaviour guys, like, come on." Bucky moved ever so slightly, and I glanced up at him from the corner of my eye, before looking back at Steve. I was starting to get a bad feeling and looked at the ground. Turning back to the computer, I logged out, and went to stand, but Bucky lifted his leg, so it sat between mine, resting on the chair. My heart stuttered, and I held my breath. I looked intensely at Bucky, my cheeks beginning to heat up. "You wanted to talk?" It was barely a whisper; I sucked in a deep breath.
No one moved a muscle, no one said a word. I looked from Bucky to Steve and tried to understand the situation. Yet still no one said a thing.
"I'm not going to play this game anymore. Whatever is going on between you too, sort it out. I want no part of your lover's quarrel," I said, shoving Bucky's foot off the chair, and standing up. Steve stood as well, and Bucky straightened at almost the same time. Just as I went to leave, Bucky raised his metal hand to my cheek, his thumb gently brushing over my bottom lip. He leaned in as if he were going to kiss me, and I smacked him.
"What the hell Buck?" I almost screeched.
"I don't like that tone, doll. Why have you been avoiding us?" he asked, and the look he gave me had me quivering with a Mexican wave of need that went straight down south.
"Language, Princess," said Steve almost straight after Bucky, it was so smooth and sent another shiver of desire, and confusion through me.
"Are you guys flirting with me or planning my murder because I am so fucking confused, yet utterly turned on right now and I have no idea what to say but all I know is I can't take anymore. I am avoiding you because I cannot think straight with either of you near me. It wasn't bad enough to like one super soldier, I had to like both, and it kills me inside because there is not a damned thing, I can do about it, so either fuck me or kill me," I huffed out between breaths. Steve came in real close, just as Bucky moved forward. An icicle of fear ran down my spine, and it was utterly thrilling. A hand ghosted across my throat.
"Such a vulgar mouth she has Steve…" Bucky murmured, as he leaned in to claim my lips. I stood there, limp, as my mind tried to reconnect with the rest of my body, mainly my lungs. The kiss we shared was intense, and I felt Steve grip my chin, pulling my face to his so he could kiss me as well. A hand snaked around my waist, as I felt myself sag slightly, and gulped down lungsful of air as Steve pulled away.
"She's breathless, speechless, Buck. Such a hot mess you are, Princess." Steve breathed. I just looked at him and looked at Bucky. My brain tried to form words, anything to break the silence.
"I cannot… This is wrong. We cannot…" I whimpered. I shook my head incredulous. This was not happening. I was imagining this. I had dreamt of it for so long since the incident. I felt suffocated then, confusion and worry and shame swirling like a hurricane through me. The spell over us broke, so I quickly ducked around them, heading for the door and unlocking it quickly. Steve gave me a look, and I shook my head as I hovered by the door. "I have no idea what game you guys are playing, but I want no part of it. Now you know. Truths out. Wait till I am gone before making jokes or whatever it is guys do. I am done!" I did not look back as I ran off, the shock of my speech stunning Bucky and Steve into silence, the door closing softly behind me.
I was sitting under one of the tables in the kitchen, a tub of ice cream on my knee, a few packets of crisps by my side, and an unopened bottle of mountain dew beside the crisps. I had given up avoiding Steve and Bucky, deciding to hide out somewhere people would not find me. I sat with my headphones in and was listening to my favourite song. I had resorted to my normal afternoon routine of sorts. Den, junk food, and that little feeling you get in the pit of your stomach knowing that people around you have no idea you are there. It made for great entertainment at the conversations I heard between people when I was bothered to listen.
Hearing footsteps close by, I took out one of the earpieces, and listened instead of just looking to see who it was. It would be too much effort to move now after all that time I had spent building the den to perfection.
"If we don't find her soon, we are going to be dead." I smirked as I recognise Bucky's voice. I heard a sigh, and presumed it was Steve.
"What do you expect? We probably scared her off or something. Told you we should have been direct with her about what we wanted," said Steve. Oh my, this sounded interesting indeed.
I could see a boot standing in front of me now and wondered how long it would take them to realise that there was only one table that had a tablecloth over it, and that we never used tablecloths. There was only one person who had ever thought it strange…
Another set of steps, lighter this time, sounded.
"Hey Cap, hey Bucky," said Peter cheerfully. I froze, realising I was about to be had. Peter had joined me many times in my makeshift dens, Peter being the one to realise there was a tablecloth on a table when we never used them, and I prayed to whatever God was out there that tonight he would not join me or rat me out. Peter knew I was avoiding the two. I had not told him why, but he was a good friend. I was sure he would keep my position covered, kind of. I could not risk another bout of humiliation.
"Hey, kid. You have not seen Y/N around, have you? We need to talk to her." Steve asked him. I cursed internally, jerking slightly, and sent my spoon clattering to the ground. It skittered and hit the boot in front of me. I watched as a shadow bent down to pick it up. Metal hand. Bucky. A shiver of excitement ran through me, and I attempted to call my shield, hoping it had an invisibility feature as well. I was dying to see the look on their faces when they saw what they presumed to be an empty den, not knowing I was sitting there watching them. I grinned to myself, I had to get my kicks somewhere.
I waited with bated breath, for either one of them to crouch down and find me. I was surprised though when Bucky straightened.
"Dropped my spoon," he said with a chuckle.
"I haven't seen her, sorry," said Peter. "But if I do, I'll let her know you were looking for her."
I listened as Peter's footsteps receded, cursing him. He knew fine rightly I was here, and super soldiers did not just drop spoons. I knew then my position had been made. I tried to slow my heart, positive that the super soldiers could hear it pounding. I watched as Bucky moved slightly, and suddenly there was a hand wrapping tightly around my ankle, yanking me out from under the table. I let out a giggle, sliding across the floor until I could see Steve and Bucky, who were smirking at me as I continued giggling.
Bucky reached down, took the ice-cream from me, and set it on the table. I lay still not daring to move. A part of me was not quite ready to give up just yet though, and I think Steve realised what I was planning, because the next thing I knew he was crouched down, a hand stroking along the bottom of my chin. I gulped, and knew he saw the movement.
"We can do this all day," he muttered darkly. I smiled sweetly at him, my hand reaching for his.
"So can I," I replied, blasting myself halfway across the room in a second, and bounced up to my feet. Bucky grabbed for me, and I dodged, the girliest giggle leaving me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me tight into him.
"Now, are we going to behave Doll?" he asked. I smiled again, giddy on the high of playing with them.
"If I say no?" I half whisper, almost afraid of the answer I would receive. Bucky looked at Steve, both sharing a knowing look before he grabbed me by my waist and hoisted me over his shoulder. "Hey!" Steve kissed me briefly, leaving me shocked and breathless, but mostly confused.
"Quiet down, Y/N, or you'll attract attention," he said, a finger drifting across my cheek, over my lips. I swallowed, nervous at the prospect of what was likely about to happen. "Now be a good girl for us. Hear us out this time, hm?" I nodded once in agreement.
Bucky carried me the whole way to his and Steve's room, and I realised with a start when Steve opened the door, that there was a new bed. It was giant. Humongous. The biggest bed I had ever seen. My face paled at the sight of it before Bucky gently set me down on it as Steve closed the door and locked it.
I was so nervous, and internally freaking out. I could feel the sweat gathering on my forehead and contemplated just doing a run for it. If I blasted the door, and propelled myself out at the same time, I would have a good chance of making it out the door before they realised what I was doing. I looked to the window, contemplating how long the drop would be from up here, and if I were likely to make it.
"Y/N are you ok?" asked Bucky. I looked up to him, not realising he was so close, my face heating up a lot. I nodded once, unsure if I would be able to get any words from out my mouth. I was not sure I even wanted too. My heart was pounding so loudly, I was amazed I had not had a heart attack yet.
"Just nervous," I murmured, and both came and sat down, on either side of me. Steve took my hand, drawing little circles on the back of it. The confidence I had felt earlier had completely dissipated, and I am sure he noticed how sweaty my hands were. "I'm not even sure what's happening right now."
"Well, you made it quite clear earlier, doll, that we could either fuck you or kill you," chuckled Bucky, "and we have no intentions of killing you." I stared at the brown-haired male, not quite understanding what he was saying.
"What I said… I …" I had no idea what I wanted to say. It was like my mind could not form the words I was dying to say inside. Was this what they really both wanted? I was not interested in being just a fuck buddy. I wanted them both, all of them, not just a one-night stand.
"You are our person, as you so put it once. We care about you deeply; we have done for a long time. We just were not sure how to ask you about it. It is not exactly something people discuss lightly, and we already knew… about... We might be old, but we are not stupid. We figured it out eventually," said Steve. I blushed a bright red, completely and totally embarrassed.
"Oh my god, I'm such an idiot. I was so sure... I felt so awkward when… you guys … and then I felt ridiculous for feeling the way I do… it just got to the point where… I would rather have you guys in my life than not in my life. I don't think I'd ever survive without you, to be quite honest," I admitted shyly, face trained on the ground, stumbling over words in my embarrassment and nerves. I loved them both, dearly. I was afraid that this new dynamic between us would change us forever. "Once we cross that line, there's no going back…"
Bucky slid down, so he was in front of me, and grasped my face in his hands, and kissed me deeply. It was the sexiest kiss I think I had had in my entire existence; Bucky was one hell of a kisser. He pulled back a little, resting his forehead against mine.
"We talked… for a good while about it. Me and Bucky, we have known each other for a long time. A long, long time… people do not forget it, they do not forget… us, the things we have done and the things we have seen. But you, Miss Y/N. You understand us, on a level no one else will. You do not see us for what we are, but who we are. You mean the world to us… and we both believe completely, one hundred percent, that you can love more than one person. The three of us, this is the universe paying us back, and we are with you with you till the end of the line." I turned to Steve, at a loss for words, but I teared up, and he brought me into a searing kiss, one just as intense as the one I shared with Bucky.
"So, Doll. We leave the ball in your court," Bucky smirked. I moaned, as Steve gently pulled on my hair, to pull me back from our kiss.
I did not think, I just did. I pulled away from Steve, about to take my top off, but Bucky's hands stopped me. I looked him in the eye, pleading silently. He smirked, before turning to Steve. Steve grabbed the hem of my top and pulled it over my head. I felt a shiver run down my spine, as the cool air contacted my heated skin. Blushing like a mad man, I tried to subtly move my arms in front of myself, suddenly self-conscious about my body. I felt hands grab my own, and suddenly they were being raised above my head, and I was being pushed down slightly.
"Never hide yourself from us, Doll." Bucky kissed me deeply, while Steve began to strip. My trousers were tugged down my hips, and I sat there, a clothed Bucky on one side, and a naked Steve on the other.
Hands ghosted along my thighs, along the edge of my breast, but never settling, leaving me panting, and writhing underneath them. I pulled at my restrained hands, a satisfied smirk spreading across my face when Steve helped Bucky to keep them in place.
"P-please," I begged, bucking my hips towards the hand resting with a feather light touch on the inside of my thigh. Steve chuckled, and it was like lightning to me, electrifying me.
"I like it when you beg, Y/N…" he murmured. At the same time, a hand dipped to my special place, another grasping my breast tightly, the pain sending another wave down me. I do not think I had ever been turned as much.
"Listen to you moan, Doll. Such sweet sounds coming from you," whispered Bucky, directly into my ear. His hand moved in slow, lazy circles against there, while Steve followed a similar pattern.
Releasing my hands, the pair moved, placing light nips and kisses across my skin. I watched them do it, not daring to move, and then they met, bringing each other into the most seductive kiss, both eyeing me, watching for my reaction.
"God you two are sexy," I gasped out. A light tap against my mound elicited in a strange noise, one that did things to Steve and Bucky, and it made me grin like a Cheshire cat. With a silent conversation passing between the two, Steve moved down to remove my pants, while Bucky finally stripped, and the sight before was almost enough for me to let go. Two of the sexiest males in the compound, sitting naked before me. I could have died happy, right then.
Aiming to move so I could delight them both as well, I tried to sit up, but a hand stopped me. Bucky met my gaze, with a smirk, knowing exactly what I was going to do.
"We have all the time in the world, Doll. Let us show you how much we care first," and he lowered himself over a breast, taking a hard nipple into his mouth, nipping lightly. Steve moved up, slowly, and placed a chaste kiss on the inside of my thigh, before delving in. His tongue licked slowly up the way, tasting me, before flicking against my clit. The noise that I made was unholy, and I knew it would not be long before I would come undone.
The pair showed each of my sweet spots undivided attention. My pants grew heavier, moans breathier, and I did not know how much longer I could go on.
"K-keep going… Oh my… Nnnnnn… Ste- Ucky," I moaned. Steve pulled back from his place between my thighs, and tapped it a few times, making more unholy noises come involuntarily from me. With a protest from me, Steve and Bucky moved to switch places, and Bucky wasted no time in delving in, a little rougher than Steve had been. It was amazing. This power that I felt, the feeling of completeness. I felt whole, and loved, and sexy. Nothing made a woman feel more powerful, than when she thought she was sexy. It was a felling I relished in. I could get used to it.
Steve moved, and I grabbed his face, pulling him into a passionate kiss, more desperate. I cried out, as Bucky began to trace my entrance with a finger, before delving in. It did not take much before I came.
"F-FUCK!" I cried out. Steve's hand moved to my throat, squeezing ever so gently. If the sounds I made before turned them on, it had nothing on the one I had made just then.
"Language, Princess. If you keep talking like that, I'll have to stop you talking…" I just stared at him, my body shaking still with the intensity of my orgasm. I had never, ever felt like this with another man before, never mind two.
"Fucking stop me talking then," I said with as much seduction as I could. Bucky gave me a look, one that told me I would regret what I had just said, but not in a bad way. Steve shook his head, a dark smirk playing on his lips.
"You really shouldn't have said that." I was flipped then, Bucky raising me to my knees, as Steve brought my face towards him. I could not breathe. I could not move a muscle. He gripped my hair, and my lips parted, bringing him to me. A little at a time, I took him in my mouth, and the taste of him was exquisite. I adjusted quickly, and he set to work, lightly thrusting into my mouth so as not to choke me, not that I would have minded.
Bucky continued to finger me, adding more, until I felt the build up again, and then he shoved himself inside me with one hard thrust.
"Mnmf!" I cried, the vibrations sending a shockwave of pleasure through Steve.
"You're so hot right now, Doll. My cock in your wet cunt, and Steve's cock down your throat," Bucky ground out, as he pounded into me harder and faster, Steve following his pace. A slap to my ass, and I came again, harder than before. I saw white spots dancing along my vision.
"She liked that, Buck. Our girls a masochist as well it seems," Steve said, pulling away from my mouth. Bucky followed suit, and they switched places. It was hot. I could barely make a sound, panting so hard and lightheaded.
We continued for what seemed like hours, them switching places, or turning me this way and that. I had lost count of how many times they had made me cum, and me them. It was a night of pure unadulterated lust. Eventually, when the two males had finally had enough, I just lay there. I knew my body would be littered with hickeys, and marks. My ass would surely be a bright red from their ministrations, but I could hardly process thought. I had been satisfied in a way I did not think possible. And that was crazy.
I made to move, attempting to get on my feet, but my legs were like jelly, and I flopped back down on the bed.
"Think we may have over done it," Steve said, giving Bucky a kiss. The way they looked at each other made my heart stop. The love they clearly shared for each other; it was intense. I felt then, in that moment, like I had intruded on a private moment, one not meant for eyes to see.
Keeping my eyes strictly anywhere but at them, I lay there, feeling a little silly. I had no idea whether I was supposed to stay or attempt to go. What was the protocol for after sex situations? One-night stands were easy, but this was too personal for a one-night stand. At least, I hoped it was not just a one-time thing. You say what you say in the moment of things, but I was a realist, and things did not normally go my way. I took a deep breath, pushing those silly thoughts way. It would do no good now to get emotional after the best sex I had ever had period. I could scoff at myself, thinking of the whispers the Avengers would all come out with if they had learned I had cried after sex. It was something that mortified me.
I decided then that I would just go back to my own room, freshen up, and then pass out. If I made it that far. I was so spent, though, that I could not summon even an ounce of the tesseract energy to even attempt healing myself. I smiled to myself. I would hurt good in the morning. Maybe it would be something to enjoy. It was not like I could summon the energy at will. At least, not yet.
"Let's try this again," I muttered, gathering myself, before getting to my feet. I was a bit wobbly and starting to cool down. Reaching for my clothes I attempted to pull the top over my head, not realising that Bucky and Steve were watching me intently.
"What?" I looked between the two, confused.
"Going somewhere, Doll?" asked Bucky. He looked wary, as if I were about to disappear. I just nodded.
"I'm going to get a shower, freshen myself up, clean clothes and then pass out into the best night sleep I will ever have," I said with a light laugh. I got my trousers, attempting to get my feet in, but a wave of dizziness hit me, and I fell back. I sat there for a second, before bursting into giggles. Steve looked to Bucky with a questioning look on his face, but Bucky just shrugged as the giggles became laughing. I laughed so hard I started to struggle breathing. Laugh after laugh, until suddenly it was not funny anymore. The laughs slowed down, and I was hit with a rush of sadness, almost, and then I started crying. I kept sobbing, feeling more ridiculous as time went on.
"I'm – I'm just g-going to go," I said between sobs. Standing quickly, I pulled on my pants and rushed out the door without looking. As I continued to cry, I took note of the fact that I was not followed.
I woke with a start, my heart pounding, my ears ringing. Glancing over to the alarm clock, I saw that it is only after half five, and rolled out of bed, landing with a thump on the floor. Standing, I took a mental note that the only place that really hurt was my backside and found it to be a manageable pain. Shaking off the dream I could not remember, I changed into a simple t-shirt and leggings, heading for the direction of the kitchen.
The place was quiet, eerily quiet, and it spooked me a bit. After moments like these, I was always left a little spooked. Sometimes it helped if I remembered what the dream had been about, but I had no idea.
I quickly made myself a cup of coffee and stole a banana from the fruit bowl. I heard the door open behind me, and two sets of footsteps. Turning slowly, I faced the two who I knew would be there. No one else was ever up at this time, unless there was training planned. We stared at each other; the silence awkward. I had no idea what to say to the two. Was I meant to discuss what we had talked about? Was it genuine? So many unanswered questions swam about in my brain but mostly confusion.
"So…" I began softly. I waited patiently for one of them to say something, anything, but I was met with silence. I nodded my head, sucking on my teeth, before drowning my coffee. "I had a moment… hormonal, female thing. Not uncommon, from what I have gathered… I have no idea what the protocol for this kind of… whatever this is. Ermn… Are we… Feel free to jump in because this is getting really awkward…"?
They shared a look, before looking back at me. I could see the hesitance in them, like they were not sure what was going on either.
"You know, we would get along so much quicker if either of you said something, anything… Was last night a-a mistake?" I demanded, waving my banana about. Their reply was instantaneous, and in unison.
"No." Steve.
"No." Bucky.
I stared incredulously at the pair. "That is a start… Are you worried that I would start crying again?" I was wary, waiting on their reply.
"We are trying to understand what happened. You went a little… Why did you leave?" Steve struggled to find the words. Bucky was just speechless, or clueless. Or both.
"Why did neither of you follow me?" I countered. Bucky's head tilted to the side in agreement with my question.
"We do not know what we are doing, doll." Bucky finally said. "This is as knew to us as it is to you. If you laugh and… cry…, what are we meant to do?"
I thought for a minute, seriously considering his question.
"Still, it does not explain why you left," said Steve. I sighed, opening my banana and taking a bite.
"You guys had a … moment… You both looked so perfect… And I… It just felt like something that was not meant for my eyes… It was just private, and I freaked… a little. I decided then rather than embarrass myself I would just go to my room. I have no idea what I am doing. I only know what I feel… for you both…" My voice trailed off in thought. I chewed on my banana, watching in awe as Bucky and Steve came over, standing before me so we created a loose triangle shape.
"Our private moments are for your eyes. No one else knows about me and Bucky-" Steve smiled sweetly, while I began choking on a bit of banana. Bucky patted my back, giving me a 'do not say anything to him' look. "You, ok?" I nodded, signalling for him to continue. "This is new. We get through things by talking. You think it might be embarrassing, we promise not to laugh-"
"Unless it is something stupid-" Bucky adds in quickly with a wink.
"We will get through it together, Y/N." He pulled me in for a soft kiss, followed by Bucky. We stood close together, a hug with so much meaning.
"So, round two?" Enquired Bucky. Steve chuckled.
"Your incorrigible," I muttered darkly, pulling from them and walking passed them to the bin, dumping my forgotten banana peel. Bucky gave my ass a swat as he walked over to the door, pulling and holding it open. I turned to follow, Steve putting an arm around my shoulders.
"That was not a no," he said smiling down at me, as I took Bucky's hand.
I had a sense of Deja vu as I hobbled into the kitchen shortly after nine, Nat eyeing me suspiciously as I made my way to the couch. I smiled sweetly at her.
"Wha-?" I asked, picking up the television remote. She snatched it off me. I rolled my eyes, waving at Peter as he and Thor raided the fridge.
"Rough training session again? Thought we had agreed to take it easy?" she asked with concerned annoyance. I tried to hide the blush I could feel creeping up my cheeks. This was not a conversation I was going to get into right now, so decided to play it cool.
"Something like that," I replied quickly, reclaiming the television remote.
"It was only me and Thor in the training room this morning," said Peter, and I shot him a warning glance, but Nat saw the gesture. At the worst possible moment, Steve and Bucky decided to grace us with their presence, and I turned completely away from them, wincing as I did. The memory of why I hurt so much had me red from top-to-toe.
"Some training session, huh boys?" Nat called to them, watching me with a knowing look. Steve blushed ever so slightly, and Bucky chuckled. I watched from the corner of my eye as Bucky sat on the arm beside me, Steve lifting three mugs from the cupboard.
"Some lessons are better kept… private," said Bucky winking down at me.