The ages are kinda iffy for some character. I'm pretty sure Mikasa is 16, and Eren and Armin are 15. Lmk.
"Fuck!" Percy yelled as he landed facefirst into a massive pile of shit.
One might ask; how did Percy know it was a pile of shit? What if it was a pile of mud? Or a pile of swamp-goo.
No.
It was definitely shit.
If it smelled like shit, and it tasted like shit. Then it was shit.
And Percy had unfortunately smelled and tasted the shit.
Because, that's just the kind of day he was having.
*Record Scratch*
*Freeze Frame*
Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering. How did Percy get here? Shouldn't he be- I don't know living it up after killing a friggin titan lord, and saving the world?
Well of course he sho- what's that? You wanna know why he's here specifically? Like in the pile of shit?
Well it's a long story.
Okay. It wasn't that long.
Apparently puny demigods are created solely for the purpose of doing the god's dirty work. In this case, Percy had been given a "quest" to go down to the Underworld, grab Iapetus's anti-bacterial window spray, climb back up to Olympus, and clean the king douchebag's throne himself.
That was the life of a demigod summed up in one stupid quest. Do something unnecessarily dangerous for the gods, and get rewarded by staying alive.
Percy, being the perfect, and relatively unwilling demigod that he was, accepted the quest and finished it in a week.
But then,- and here's the kicker. As he stood in front of all twelve gods, Athena told him that he was supposed to thank Zeus for the "honor" of letting Percy clean his throne.
Well shit. He had some semblance of dignity.
He'd reasonably told Zeus to "Suck on deez nuts, and to leave him alone." before turning away from the divine being and walking away.
Bad idea.
There were a lot of rules for demigods.
Don't piss off gods, Don't wear sandals over socks, Don't reuse underwear without washing, avoid heavily christian mortals, avoid heavily religious mortals, don't piss off gods, avoid people wearing hoods, avoid people wearing sunglasses, avoid people in general, don't steal from shops, and DEFINITELY don't piss off gods.
In that moment he had pissed off Zeus to the point of no return.
Percy had given his life to the gods. He had accepted after the Titan War that things would never be fully normal for him, not with the power and reputation he had accumulated. It simply wasn't possible. But he had thought, he had hoped, that the gods would respect all the sacrifices he made, all the sacrifices others made. He didn't know why he was surprised that they didn't. He was sixteen years old, and he was resigned to the fact that he was going to die. That had
"Perseus Jackson!" Zeus had boomed, a malicious look in his eyes.
"Ah." Percy gasped irritably before turning around to face the heaving god.
"You have disobeyed me for the last time, boy, and for that, you must be punished," Zeus continued on. Percy eyes snapped open at that moment.
"What the fu-"
"If you think there is any way in—" Poseidon began, only for Zeus to cut him off.
"There is a conflict coming," He snapped, "and the boy must not be allowed to turn. There is no doubt about that. I have conversed with the Fates. They have decreed it to be so. If the boy turns. The world will fall"
"What?" Percy couldn't believe what he was hearing, "that's ridiculous!"
Zeus ignored him and turned to Poseidon. They had a quick, intense discussion in Ancient Greek. Percy could only, even after five years catch one word. Gaia.
Well Shit. Again.
If Gaia was rising then shit was bad. But, he'd helped them with the whole Kronos thing.
Poseidon turned to him grimly. "Perseus. I'm..."
"Don't say it." Percy warned
"I'm sorry."
"Jesus Christ!" Percy yelled "Really? I go through all that shit for you, just so that Zeus can make up some random excuse to kill me. Are you fucking kidding me!" He turned to Zeus "Fine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I had no idea that the King of the Gods was such a little pussy-ass bitch." Percy had gone full New-Yorker by then. Ranting expletive after expletive, throwing creative insults galore.
If by any chance Michael Rappaport had been around he would have smiled with pride. Unfortunately he wasn't there. And Percy was cussing his heart out against an all powerful deity, very capable of destroying him without a second thought.
As Percy ranted on and on, the god's face turned redder and redder until Zeus, Destroyer of Kronos, Bane of the Titans, First of his Name, Destroyer of Typhon, practically resembled a tomato.
After a whole minute Zeus had reached the end of his rope and roared "Enough!" which shocked Percy into silence.
"I have had enough of your impudence. And that is final." Zeus seethed.
Percy shot Poseidon who stubbornly avoided his gaze. He desperately thought of a solution, a delay, anything!
Without thinking he blurted out "What is this a dictatorship! I thought the counsel needed to vote on big decisions like this!"
He turned around to look at the other Olympians who were silent. Apollo bore a cross between a grin and an expression one might assume as they were standing next to the casket of a loved one, Hermes looked furious, Athena had flushed, but was smiling victoriously. Apart from them all of the gods seemed to bear various expressions of anger, and uneasiness.
Percy scratched his sheepishly. He supposed telling Zeus that "Your momma is like a door knob, everyone gets a turn" probably hadn't been the best idea, given the fact that most of the people on the council were descended from aforementioned "momma" but frankly he was kinda pissed.
Zeus grumbled "This is the time for action." He stood up, the picture of an orator and began to address the gods.
"My family. The time has come. You have heard the whispers just like I have. She is waking."
Gasps and whispers filled the rooms, as Percy frowned.
"Because of this, I have decided that we must eliminate the greatest threat to us." Zeus preached before turning to Percy to point at him.
"It has been foretold. That Perseus Jackson will turn upon us if we do not destroy him!" he cried.
The gods murmured in agreement.
Percy looked at them in horror. "Wait, why the fuck are you guys agreeing? Demeter, I saved your fucking grove like two weeks ago."
The goddess in question looked down shamefully.
Zeus rose up again and brandished his lightning bolt
Percy looked around "You know what fuck you guys! You can't even kill me. I knew that stupid curse of Achilles would come in handy!" he crowed victoriously.
Zeus flushed even redder until he practically resembled a drunk frat boy at NYU.
"None of you stupid fucks know my weak point!"
Suddenly Percy felt a chill, a cold feeling that permeated his chest and went straight to his heart. Behind him, Athena smiled.
Hot breath pricked his neck, and a voice whispered "But I do."
Percy began to turn before he felt a sharp pain in his back.
Agony consumed him, and a molten feeling dripped through his spleen. He saw stars as flashes of pain alternating between scalding hot and frozen ripped through his chest, and his head snapped up glowing slightly red. He lost feeling in his chest.
Then his legs, as he collapsed. Then his arms.
With all his remaining strength he turned around to see Annabeth standing there, her dagger clasped in her arm.
Dripping with his blood.
He lost control of his head. His eyes flicked to see Aphrodite, whose face portrayed one message.
I'm sorry.
And then it hit him. They'd planned this. The whole underworld quest had been a boatload of bull-crap.
He croaked out "Why?" to the smiling Annabeth.
She smiled kindly "There's a newer model." she explained, producing a faded photograph from her jacket. A random shot showed a handsome boy with blonde hair and deep blue eyes frozen in action. If Percy had the mental presence of mind, he would notice that the boy bore a startling resemblance to him.
"I always preferred blonde to black." she remarked softly as she caressed his hair before standing up.
Percy groaned in pain, as his head exploded with pain.
Then everything went black.
And now he was here. Half dead. In a pile of shit.
He gently extricated himself from the pile and stood up. Percy wiped his face gently, cleaning the shit off of his eyelids so that he could open his eyes to see…
Birds?
Wait there weren't any birds in the underworld. His eyes adjusted to the glare and his jaw dropped.
A cerulean blue dotted by picturesque white clouds painted the sky. The sun glared over the rolling green hills, and the breeze bathed his skin pleasantly. Percy was standing on top of a small hillock, covered in vibrant purple flowers, and all he could see was grass.
Pure, and calm, the only thing that blemished the landscape was the pile of shit that Percy had found himself upon.
But apart from that...
This was paradise.
The Underworld wasn't shit compared to this! This was awesome! This place was a thousand times nicer than Ogygia, and Percy was halfway to a prayer of thanks to his dad when he remembered…
His dad. Zeus. Annabeth.
He shrugged the thought aside. He wasn't letting those douchebags ruin this amazing paradise.
Predictably, that's where things went wrong.
Loud thuds filled the air, causing Percy to whip around to identify the threat.
A large… thing stomped towards him casually from maybe- a quarter mile away. Good. Then there was time to prepare.
It stood around 30 feet tall, it's face split into a grotesque grin not unlike a clowns, filled with two rows of gleaming sharp teeth. Strands of hair matted it's head and it's sallow and pale skin was stretched thinly over the flesh.
Percy was struck with a strong sense of Deja Vu. He vaguely remembered facing another large creature he knew next to nothing about all those years ago.
Unfortunately this thing was four times the size of the minotaur. And it had no discernible weaknesses. Percy reached into his pocket for riptide instinctively before remembering that the sword probably didn't really belong to him anymore.
He groaned out loud before assessing himself. He needed to see what demigod powers, he still had.
He reached out mentally looking for sources of water in the ground. Streams, creeks, rivers, lakes, hell even an ocean as unlikely as it was would be helpful.
Nothing. Either he couldn't feel the water anymore or there wasn't any water around. He raised his hand trying to attract some form of water or lightning, but nothing came up.
Shit. No water powers at all.
He looked back at the monster only to see it barely twenty feet away. How the fuck did it get so close?
Suddenly it stopped. Percy got a better look at the thing. It's smile was creepy as shit, deformed and ugly, twisted across the entire face in an attempt to seem cheerful.
But it's eyes. Pure unadulterated hunger.
The two stared at each other for a moment, before the creature began waddle towards him. He would have laughed at the creatures strange bowlegged walk, if it wasn't coming for him.
The waddle sped up, until it was practically on top of him.
With a practiced ease, Percy rolled to the side and settled into a stance. He wasn't used to fighting monsters without Riptide, but he'd have to make do for now. It continued to waddle along awkwardly until at some point at least a hundred and fifty feet away, the creature seemed to realize that it hadn't stomped on him yet, and turned around, it's baleful eyes settling maliciously on him.
As a general rule, when fighting monsters with no discernible weakness, most demigods followed the tried and true mantra.
When in doubt, take the head out.
90% of the time, unidentified monsters could be killed by decapitation, and blunt force trauma to the back of the neck and skull. If there was one class that Percy had paid attention to, it was Chiron's Monster fighting class.
The only problem was the he had no way to actually cut the head off. Or even damage the head at all. He wasn't sure about how many of his abilities he still had. If he still had the water powers, he could potentially harden the water into ice and drive it through the base of the skull, but he clearly didn't which meant he would have to be inventive.
It let a low keening groan and began to waddle towards him again. Percy locked eyes on it and began to sprint before crashing into the thing .
What the fuck? He thought as the monster picked him up. He'd been at least forty feet away when he'd started. That meant… that he'd traveled at a speed of 102 miles per hour.
Wait.
Hold up.
What the fuck was that? How did he know that? He was absolute dogshit at math, that made no-
Unfortunately his musings were interrupted by the gigantic creature grabbing him and holding him in front of his face. It inspected him for a few moments, it's greed eyes regarding him creepily, before it opened it's mouth.
Percy had smelled bad things before. He'd walked through the Underworld and stood next to the pit that led to Hell. He'd gone inside a cyclops cave, he'd talked to a immortal, dirty, walmart Santa that could tell the future, he'd been in an arena filled with dead people, he'd walked through at least five battlefields filled with rotting corpses and undressed wounds, cleaned a stable full of immortal horses that hadn't been cleaned since Hercules had done it, and he'd been present for Silena Beauregard's slow disintegration at the hands of Drakon venom.
All of that paled in comparison to what he was smelling at the moment. As it opened it's maw, Percy gagged as the stench of rotting flesh, and meat filled his nostrils. The row of sharp teeth gave way to an undulating tounge and a deep red throat.
Then a switch flicked in him, and he sprang into action. With impossible strength, he ripped of the thumb that had currently trapped him in it's grip and pushed off the creature curled palm to land on it's disgusting nose.
Levi grunted in affirmation to whatever crap Oluo was going on about. They needed to get back to Trost soon. It made no fucking sense he snarled internally. As soon as they had left, they'd received news that Wall Rose had been breached.
Almost as if someone had been waiting for them to leave.
Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, Levi noticed something.
He raised his hand up, instantly silencing the bickering special operations squad.
"Launch a signal flare" he ordered Petra coldly.
"What?" she asked surprisedly.
"I said, launch a signal flair."
"Of course, sir." she amended "which one?"
"Titan spotted." he said before nudging his horse towards it. "Also send another one. Humans spotted."
Petra froze halfway through the motion to stare at Levi "Sir… A human?"
"Yes." Levi confirmed "And… it's fighting a titan." he finished quietly.
She let a choking noise and fired off two shells in rapid succession. A red and a purple. The former signaling the sighting of a titan and the latter signaling an emergency. They waited a few moments until a green shell flew up into the sky exploding into a mist of verdant.
Levi nudged his horse towards the dark figure who was currently bashing the titan's face with a club of sorts.
"Why. Won't. You. Stop!" Percy yelled as he mercilessly bashed the ripped-off finger onto the bloated face of the creature. Eventually he gave up and smashed the finger through the eye of the creature causing it to keel over in pain.
He maneuvered down into the mouth, fighting the urge to gag, and punched the teeth of the monster as hard as he could fracturing a good four feet of rotten white enamel.
Percy tucked the tooth into his arm and jumped twenty feet away.
Ok. So he was strong fast as fuck, and his reflexes, and senses were way stronger than before. This was cool.
His new abilities completely compensated for his lost hydrokinesis. He casually held the tooth out and, smashed it with his knee, causing it to splinter into three four foot long tooth-javelins.
He could work with that.
The monster was now half-blind and enraged. It charged at him without abandon, and Percy easily was able to vault himself up due to the creature's bizarre waddling motions onto it's calf.
He impaled the calf and ignored the shriek that came from the creature, and the spray of greasy blood that erupted from the wound. The monster's knee collapsed onto it's knees, letting Percy jam the makeshift spear even farther into the leg, actually forcing it through the appendage and anchoring it into the ground, effectively nailing it to the earth.
Percy who was covered in blood stood up and calmly repeated the action on the other leg, until the creature had no chance of getting up.
"Hmmm," he mused to himself "What should we do with you?". He could leave it here, but there wasn't any civilization around for miles, and he'd rather not wake up in the middle of the night with this monstrosity leering over him.
Then there was the additional risk of the creature calling more of its kind or other monsters. They never came alone, leaving him with the only option of killing the goddamn thing.
He examined the last spear. It was by no means suited to cutting the heads off of giant creatures, with it's blunt sides. The only reason Percy had been able to nail it down in the first place, was because the top's had been pointy and suited for impaling things.
So Percy heaved out a sigh and muttered to himself "This is gonna be messy." as he approached the head of the large creature.
The creature began to shriek and moan impotently as he held the spear up high over his head. He looked at it's one good eye, and even after all that he had done to it, Percy could still tell that all it wanted to do. Was to eat him.
He shrugged.
"Sorry 'bout this, you miserable bastard." he whistled as he brought down the spear on to it's neck. All his strike caused was a small indentation, and the creature to scream. He huffed irritatedly, before beginning to hack away at the creature's nape over and over.
The creature stiffened for a moment causing percy to pause. He looked at it, as it exploded into action. It's hand swatted Percy almost twenty feet and he landed on the ground with a sickening CRACK.
"How am I not dead?" he asked himself out loud. Then he remembered the Curse of Achilles.
Shit, I still have that.
Then he smiled. "Holy shit. I still have the Curse of Achilles." he said to no one in particular, grinning like a madman.
He turned back to the titan and in a second used his newfound strength to launch himself onto the creature, latching onto it's skin by digging the last fragment of the tooth into it's shoulder.
He reached out and grabbed a handful of it's fleshy ear, before pulling. He kept on pulling, as hard as he possibly could until the creature began to scream.
It was so grotesque in its death throes, that he almost began to feel bad for it. But Percy had killed countless monsters. One more wouldn't make a difference, and with a bestial roar, Percy ripped off the head of the creature and threw it away.
The body collapsed into a heap and began to steam loudly. Percy jumped off of the rapidly evaporating corpse and staggered away. He felt so drained, when mere moments before, he'd been full of energy.
Shit he was tired.
Then he realised.
Something was watching him.
And it wasn't a monster.
Not for the first time, Percy wished he'd had riptide. Apart from the fact, that he had killed fucking gods with that sword, the feeling of the worn leather hilt clasped in his hand was just calming.
His eyes scanned for potential threats before the noise of hoofbeats filled the air. He turned to the source of the signal and was surprised to see people riding towards him.
He waited, covered in slime and blood for the first rider to reach him. A tall blonde man wearing a tan leather emblazoned with a bright blue shield with wings draped around it. His russet colored horse showed no indication of being able to talk to Percy, who in turn was unable to hear anything from the obviously beleaguered animal.
Strapped to the man's waist were two prismic sheath's with the hilt's of sword's poking out.
He wiped his face and waved tiredly.
"Hi. My name's Percy."
The man seemed confused as he answered.
"Erwin. Erwin Smith."
I wrote this because I think Eren is a bitch ass, that treated Mikasa like shit until the very end. She deserves better. That's all I'm finna say.