Summary: Inuyasha has lived for centuries believing that Kagome sealed the well behind her and chose to leave him forever. Having lived to her time, a new enemy sets fire to any hopes of a future they could have had together. Inuyasha is determined to have his revenge, but keeps finding his retribution thwarted by an enigmatic female hanyou… Who is doing everything she can to hide a painful secret that could destroy him.
Prologue
She lied to me. That bitch lied to me. And what was worse… I believed her.
Sengoku Jidai, Edo
In the distance of the evening woods, a certain silver-haired hanyou could easily distinguish the jingling rings and shuffling footsteps from the evening sounds of the forest. A large part of him dreaded their approach, content to be left alone in his self-imposed exile among the bark-covered arms of the Goshinboku. He did not dislike the continued companionship offered by his dearest friend, but rather the less-appreciated persistence that caused the deceptively pious man to seek him out. The hanyou let out a sigh as the sinking feeling in his stomach only grew. As had been the case many times before, he knew the direction their impending conversation would eventually turn.
Inuyasha had developed a concerning new pastime in recent months. Frequently brooding his days away up in the branches of the Sacred Tree, he was often found gazing at nothing as he mentally berated himself for his past mistakes. His friends had all but left him to his dark musings, only occasionally seeking him out to relieve their own guilt. He was tired of their pity—he longed for the numbness that was always just out of reach.
It felt like an eternity since she had left, but in truth it couldn't have been more than a few months. Her soft voice still haunted his sleepless nights, slowly driving him to the brink of insanity. Inuyasha wanted nothing more than to erase her memories, her smile—along with everything that had ever endeared her to him—from his mind.
It was only after she had left them, that he came to see just how wrong he had been about her. He had readily misjudged all of those shy glances that she cast in his direction. All of those bright smiles that he had believed she reserved only for him… they had never really been his had they? How often had she lightly brushed her fingers against his claws as they walked in companionable silence? They were all illusions… all deceptions brought on by a devious wench that wanted nothing but to laugh at his foolhardy desperation to believe.
Unconsciously, he clenched his fists tightly in an outward expression of the thoughts swirling around in his mind. The near-blinding terror that threatened to consume him had dulled somewhat in the weeks after she left. He quietly sneered when he remembered the desperation of those first few days, after she failed to return. It had taken all of his will-power to keep his demonic side in check as it screamed for its mate. He had lost count of the number of times that he threw himself down the well-shaft, praying for the blue light to envelop him. She had brainwashed him so thoroughly that the truth behind her sudden disappearance never even entered his mind. It took him a while, but he eventually caught on...
Grinding his teeth, he stopped himself from falling prey to any simmering ire, and once again settled comfortably into the limb that held him several feet off the ground. Shifting slightly in his lofty, but restful, position, the half-demon man kept one ear trained on the approach of the human monk. He was unsurprised to find that the feeling of apprehension for the impending discussion had not lessened.
It still galled him that his friends maintained a semblance of loyalty to the traitorous witch. They had learned not to defend her against the half demon—all except the small kitsune. He still spoke up in defense of her every opportunity that came his way, much to Inuyasha's disgust. Couldn't he see that she had betrayed them all?
Among the many regrets that the half-demon had, he was mostly perturbed that he had not tried harder to piss her off the last time she jumped into the well. Hell, he had almost been understanding towards the bitch! The fight with Naraku had taken its toll on the group, depleting most of her healing supplies. She had easily played him, feigning concern for their welfare, and a desire to spend some time with her family. Abstaining from his usual gruff attitude, he had allowed her to leave... providing her with enough time to seal the well, barring him from ever bringing her back again.
Each day that passed, the truth was only becoming harder to face. At first, he had thought the pain would slowly pass away and die as it had with Kikyou's betrayal. Chuckling darkly to himself, he belatedly realized that that should have been his first clue. She was nothing but a copy of the dead priestess, so why wouldn't she pull a similar stunt?
Distantly, he could feel one of his silver ears twitch as the quiet was shattered by sound. He heard the approaching male shout a curse before a loud crash echoed throughout the evening stillness. Undoubtedly the human man had tripped over something that his weak mortal senses were unable to discern in the darkness. Months ago, this would have brought a humorous smirk to the half-demon's face. Now the only change in his demeanor was the twitching of his ears at the human's continued approach. Inuyasha made no acknowledgement as he heard the footsteps come to a stop beneath him.
"Wallowing in your own self-pity will get you nowhere in life, my friend," the soft tenor drifted up with the wind to the dog hanyou's perch. Inuyasha more or less ignored the monk's halfhearted attempt at conversation. The two shared an uncomfortable silence—of which only one of them was consciously aware—for several minutes. It appeared to be a battle of wills, as both men were waiting on the other to give into the awkwardness that was slowly seeping into the wooded clearing. Unfortunately for the robed priest, the hanyou was quite used to uncomfortable silence, and was only partially aware of the human male's current position beneath his tree, besides. Sighing loudly in what appeared to be frustration, or possibly his own form of sorrow, Miroku abandoned the half-formed lecture that he realized was only going to fall on deaf ears.
Deciding instead to make himself more comfortable—and thereby harder to remove should the half-blooded dog tire of his presence—he leaned heavily on his ringed staff while taking a seat at the base of the tree. Wisely choosing to ignore the continued misery of his demonic friend, he instead spoke his true reason for venturing into the forest in search of the stubborn hanyou, "Your brother came by again today."
Pausing for a few moments in hopes of a response, the houshi continued when it became apparent he would receive none, "He still refuses to tell me exactly what it is he wants. He says he will speak only with you, and that 'your continued impertinence will not be tolerated much longer.' I am unsure if that means he intends to seek you out more directly himself, or if he means to kill you." The more lecherous of the two turned his dark gaze upwards, searching for his friend among the leaves. "But either way, he's right. You can't keep going on like this, Inuyasha." Intentionally whispering under his breath, but still loud enough that Inuyasha's amplified hearing could easily make it out, he said, "Kagome wouldn't want that."
The lifelike hanyou statue that had to this point not so much as twitched, suddenly sprang to life with a swiftness that did not catch Miroku's indigo eyes. With a grace and speed that only someone with centuries of practice could possess, Inuyasha leapt to the ground, appearing before the monk as if by magic. The heated half-demon snarled with an intense rage filling his sun-like eyes, "Don't you dare tell me what that bitch would or wouldn't want! Why don't you go ask her?! Oh, wait!" Fangs gnashing, and silver hair whipping around him like billowing smoke to his fiery anger, he bellowed, "That's right! She locked herself away in another fucking time! If she had wanted anything to do with us, then she wouldn't have sealed the goddamn WELL!"
With nostrils flaring, and his eyes tinged red, he ended the short-lived tirade while glaring daggers at the human man seated calmly before him. It had been a while since any of them had been brave enough to say her name in his presence. They simply refused to see her for what she truly was. Then again, they weren't the ones to have their heart strung along like a puppy on a leash.
"You have to face reason, Inuyasha. She is gone, unlikely to ever return." Bravely facing down the seething man before him, Miroku continued, "You cannot spend the rest of your days sitting up in that tree, until you finally keel over from your own stubbornness!"
The monk recognized that adding his own anger to the conversation would only dissolve the hanyou into shouts and obscenities, no matter how badly he wanted to just bash some sense into his silver-haired friend with his Shakujou. Taking a deep, calming breath he spoke gently, "I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are feeling. But you must realize that you still have friends, people who care about you and are concerned about your well-being. We are here to help, if you will only let us." Miroku stared indecisively for several moments before asking, "Why don't you come back to the hut for tonight? Sango and I have an extra bedroom, and we would be more than happy to spend our evening meal in your company."
Slightly trembling now from an influx of emotion, Inuyasha merely continued to growl at the purple robed man seated against the base of the tree. Part of him desperately wanted to attempt a return to normalcy with his packmates. Against his will, the words escaped from his mouth before he could call them back, "Feh. What good would it do? You know as well as I do that it's weird. When we're all together, it just makes it more obvious that she isn't here."
Miroku couldn't contain his soft gasp of shock. This was the first time that Inuyasha seemed to be acknowledging the situation with any clarity. He opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted.
It was at that moment that a shadow could be seen moving in the edge of the two males periphery. Both men were immediately on alert as an impossibly graceful being silently strode from the treeline into the small clearing situated before the massive ancient tree. The stark whiteness of his form was impossible to miss against the dark undergrowth of the plant life surrounding them. It was a wonder that neither party had noticed his presence up until that point. His skill at stealth surely far outweighed his skill at camouflage for him to be so easily overlooked. Inuyasha's nostrils flared, but the tightly reigned youki of his older brother gave nothing of his nearness away.
Coming to a halt several paces from the formerly bickering males, the great demon lord Sesshoumaru looked icily upon his half-brother, before blandly stating, "That human girl is the reason that you have so dishonored your blood with the weakness of despair." The elder of the two brothers took a moment to disinterestedly size up the younger before he continued, "It would seem Father runs deeper in you than this Sesshoumaru once thought."
Growling loudly in warning at the unwanted intruder to his canopied realm, Inuyasha felt his hackles rise even more at the mild air of superiority with which his older brother delivered the insult. Seeing an opportunity to release some of his inner frustrations, he fully released his tightly-reigned youki and bared his fangs in silent challenge. The younger of the two snarled, "What the hell do you want, Sesshoumaru? Did you come here to fight?" Inuyasha languidly placed a hand on the hilt of Tetsusaiga, to increase the promise in his threatening stance.
Chilling blankness was the only emotion that he received in response from the dog demon's handsomely chiseled face. Icy golden eyes stared down into fiery angered ones, a constant reminder of the noble blood that only they shared. Taking a moment to gauge the hidden strength and courage behind his younger brother's antagonistic pose, the full demon seemed to reach an internal conclusion. Blinking only once as if in acceptance of his decision, he cryptically stated, "Yes, you will do just fine."
The anger that had so far dominated the half-demon's harsh features began to give way to confusion. Not once did the younger demon dare to take his eyes off of the cunning predator that was his older brother. Furrowing his brows and relaxing his jaw, he sneered, "And what is that supposed to mean?"
In a slight movement that only his irate sibling seemed to notice, Sesshoumaru raised his head in a show that any creature of demon blood would recognize as dominant pride. Shifting his calculated gaze, he stared pointedly at the monk who had been thus far watching the brotherly exchange with mild amusement. Noticing the stare, the human man gave a soft sigh of disappointment that his entertainment was to be ended so soon. Miroku rose before giving the hanyou a nod, and started walking away. He began whistling merrily as he faded out of view on the footpath to the village.
Listening intently to the fading footsteps, Sesshoumaru appeared to be frozen with his head still turned, staring into the darkness of the forest. Without moving, he spoke only when he judged that the monk was a significant distance away, "It appears this one has done you a great disservice, Inuyasha."
The hanyou's formerly threatening posture fell apart with that simple sentence. His hand slid off of Tetsusaiga's hilt to hang limply at his red-clad side. Unconsciously, he reeled back, his eyes growing increasingly wide in an almost comical fashion. Is he actually apologizing for something? His brother was much too proud to ever admit having been wrong about anything, let alone to his lowly half-demon sibling. Never once had Inuyasha seen his brother display any emotion other than arrogant pride. The demon lord's current avoidance of eye contact was a clear sign of mild submission that Inuyasha's instincts did not fail to notice.
Taking the younger demon's silence as an understanding that he would not interrupt, Sesshoumaru continued, "There were many things that should have been done differently in regards to you." He paused as if steeling himself for something he found distasteful, then continued, "This one was young... brash. It was believed that your mixed heritage made you unworthy of bearing such an honor as an heir to the great Inu no Taisho." The full-blooded demon man was clearly finding this conversation exceedingly difficult, if the slight crease of his brow was any indication.
Silence hung heavy in the air around them. Inuyasha was not sure what to feel about the words his brother was speaking. They were the things that he had secretly always longed to hear, and yet they did not hold the weight that he had once believed they would. Acceptance was the one thing he had craved throughout his life. But acceptance he had already gained, through his own merits with a misfit group of humans and demons that he was now proud to call his pack. Although that pride was tainted by bitterness for the miko who had thrown her pretend acceptance back in his face.
Seemingly unconcerned with the inner struggle taking place in his half-brother's mind, Sesshoumaru pressed on, "You have proven yourself to be worthy. Once, it would have greatly pained this Sesshoumaru to state that the battle against Naraku would not have been won without you. And yet the words cannot help but ring true." At this point, Sesshoumaru lifted his gaze and two shades of gold clashed as he met the eyes of his younger brother. "You possess more strength than any full-blooded demon in the West. And yet it is not your strength alone that causes this one to bring forth a proposal for peace."
Still struggling to keep up with everything that the demon lord was saying, Inuyasha remained silent, but wary. He had never heard his brother speak so much. His suspicion only increased when the tall silver haired man took a few steps closer, only to stop an arms distance away. Unable to tear his gaze from the older man before him, Inuyasha merely listened, "You share father's blood. You wear it proudly, though the world condemns you for it. It is your strength and your pride that forced this Sesshoumaru to realize a wrong had been committed. This one was too blinded by the circumstances of your birth to truly see that you were worthy of your lineage from the beginning." Here he paused, and looked almost sincere before saying, "And for that I apologize."
It was then that Inuyasha received what he believed to be the single most shock of his life. Not only had his 'proud-ass' brother dropped the stupid avoidance of pronouns, but he discreetly lowered his regal head and ever so slightly looked away, while just as fractionally baring his neck in submission. Inuyasha took a single unconscious step backwards in complete and utter shock from the scene playing out before him. Never had he witnessed his brother display anything less than the unwavering certainty of a mountain. And yet here he stood before the hanyou, apologizing and humbling himself so far as to submit in the inu way. (Albeit, the "submission" was so slight it was barely discernible, but there all the same!) So deeply frozen in shock, Inuyasha could not seem to find the words to respond to his brother.
Rearranging his emotionless mask, the great demon lord stiffened back into the regal posture of a powerful lord. A brief moment of silent understanding passed between them before he continued to speak in deep tones, "I hope that we may put our former disagreements behind us. I have not come all this way over the past several lunar cycles merely to acknowledge flawed opinions forged in the ignorance of youth." Resuming his superior tone, he said, "As mentioned earlier, this one has a proposal to extend."
Inuyasha cautiously searched the face of his older brother for any sign of emotion. He found none. As if enjoying the unease that he was causing in the younger male, Sesshoumaru paused for several moments before continuing, "You will fill a position of honor within Father's lands. A position of high regard, above all others except this Sesshoumaru. You will formally be recognized as the heir to the Inu no Taisho line, and Beta to the realm. It is the honor owed you by our father's blood and by the strength and pride with which you wield it. What say you?"
Inuyasha had only moments ago believed to have received the shock of his lifetime, only to receive that shock twice more in the following minutes. To say that he was a jumbled mess of confusion would likely be an understatement. Too many questions to voice, and not one of them would truly matter.
Lowering his gaze to the ground, he could feel that lingering pain that simply refused to let him be bubbling up within him. The girl that had once been the driving force for his existence had knowingly left him behind. The convoluted web of lies that she had created had torn at him long enough. He had allowed himself to believe for a time that his hanyou blood made him less deserving of her and her love. She had essentially caused him to continue believing that with her treachery. Suddenly, he realized what Miroku had been trying to tell him: He needed a new purpose in life. It didn't matter if it did not bring him any semblance of joy or peace. He would take up his brother's offer, and proudly show her that her rejection had not hindered him in any way. He would overcome her and her underhanded trickery.
The eternally cold, calculating demon scanned the face of his younger brother as the myriad of emotions swept over him. The great dog demon may not express emotions openly, but that does not mean that he is incapable of recognizing them morphing the countenance of others. Taking the hanyou's continued silence for uncertain hesitation, Sesshoumaru felt that he needed to somehow sweeten the deal. "Formal protection and a place at the palace would be extended as well to your human pack. They are strong, and would serve the Western Lands well. Answer quickly, little brother, else I will be forced to retract my offer," he finished, his vacant face almost betraying a level of amusement.
Having reached a decision, Inuyasha dazedly began to nod his acquiescence. If it was beyond hope for him to be happy, then at least he could grant some form of happiness to those he still held dear to him. "I accept," he said, never breaking eye contact with the ground beside him.
With the slightest upturn of his lips almost giving an illusion of a smile-the closest thing that the full youkai could ever be capable of producing-Sesshoumaru stepped forward and deftly grasped the younger man's shoulder. His sensitive youkai nose could still detect the sorrow emanating from his new Beta in waves that spoke of nothing but torment. Inwardly he contemplated what that young miko could have possibly done that would cause someone usually so loud and strong-willed to shatter so completely. No matter. Inuyasha had agreed, and the great demon lord suspected that only time could heal these wounds.
Having said all that he intended to say, Sesshoumaru silently took his leave, once again melding into the shadows of the treeline. But not before reminding Inuyasha that he would be needed soon in the Western lands to begin his new duties as Beta.
Comfortably seated at the base of the Sacred tree, Inuyasha calmly attempted to sort through his innermost thoughts. He was now Beta to the Western lands... It was something he had once wanted. But that was at a different time in his life, before his world had changed so drastically. Once he had considered himself as others considered him: the tainted hanyou. One of mixed breeding that should have never been conceived in the first place. And because of his heritage no one would ever willingly accept such a monster. Those ideas had been challenged by a brave young woman that went against everything he had ever known to be true. She had deceitfully befriended the "tainted hanyou," much to his chagrin. Now that he knew the young woman wasn't quite as "brave" as he once thought, what did that mean for his beliefs?
Could he honestly believe that everything that came out of her mouth was the truth? She did not even wait a day after Naraku's defeat to abandon her friends and go back to her old life, never to be seen again. She lied to me then too... She said she was coming back. How many lies did I swallow over the past few years?
Growling at his foolishness, he tore into the earth resting beneath his claws. He was tired of thinking of her. All he wanted was to wipe her from his mind forever. Never to be plagued with thoughts of her again. No more Kagome. No more smiles, or laughs. No more...