you are a storm in transition (even as these words are being written)
Mairimashita! Iruma-kun
Original Female Character
Summary:
"Doesn't she come from a family of librarians? Always reading books, that's so dull."
Ridicule is no stranger to Paulina, and the feeling of inadequacy is an old companion of hers. The Ars Clan do not have the best of reputation due to their livelihood. But Paulina can't imagine herself being born in a different family. Caretaker of books, protector of secrets, keeper of memories. That is the role her family takes up in this harsh world. Theirs is not less important than the warriors and silver tongued diplomats. But it does wear one's spirit down to be told repeatedly that they are not enough. So a girl with braided hair and freckles folded into herself and stayed in place. Paulina believed she was content with being another librarian in a family full of them, until a chance encounter at Devillum made her realise that perhaps she desire for more.
(In which a girl finds her ambition, consults perhaps too many books, and learns to stand on her own two feet, while the darkness from the deepest crevices of the Netherworld slowly creeps in.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Mairimashita Iruma-kun
Title Nikita Gill
Warning: Typos, grammatical error. English is not my first language
Chapter 1
Of all the Devillum Paulina have attended, this one is by far the best one. Ever since she got ranked as Aleph, girls in nobility circles took great pleasure in pulling pranks on her or setting her up in uncomfortable situations. Paulina can't outright refuse them even though she knows what they have in mind. Their ranks are still higher than hers.
Tonight is different though. Paulina couldn't scarcely believe it even though it only happened just three hours ago. Alice Asmodeus, son of a Thirteen Crown and a Daleth, had consented to dance with her. He even praised her! Paulina never felt so much joy, it brought a tear to her eyes. Lord Asmodeus is such a gentleman the entire time. She feels like a heroine in a novel. Paulina usually only reads about it or watches the other girls bask under the spotlight, always a background character. But tonight she stepped to the centre stage for once. The Lord Asmodeus Effect is so great that others gave her smiles and compliments instead of the usual smirks edged with mockery. Even Lady Amaryllis smiled at her! Paulina was reduced to a blushing mess when the great demoness complimented her dancing skill. She is so stunning it left Paulina speechless.
But that's not all. The final piece that made her whole night is the fact that her tormentors can't quite meet her eyes afterward. Paulina actually forgot all about them until they returned her shawl and headdress.
From the moment they climbed onto their carriage, Paulina had been dreading the moment Mother asked her about her appearance earlier. If she has any intention to interrogate her, it must have taken the backseat for now because Mother is too busy being pleased with this turn of events. "Oh! Wait till we tell everyone about this!" She told Paulina. "A dance with the Asmodeus heir! Tell me. Who approached who first?"
Paulina blushed. "I was the one who asked Asmodeus-sama to dance."
Mother's eyebrows fly up so high they almost touch her hairline. "You?" The tone made Paulina wince. Mother didn't mean it, Paulina told herself. She is just surprised. "How in Hell did you manage to get him to say yes?"
"I used the old greetings. From the book Great Aunt Minnie told me to read. The one where you hide your horns and fangs with your hands. Asmodeus-sama was impressed by my manners. Hence…" In the end Paulina can't quite hold back her smile. She still couldn't believe it either.
Neither is Mother. She had not stopped smiling in the past three hours. "My stars!" She exclaimed. "You really come out of your shell tonight, Paulina." Her eyes softened. "I know how nervous you can be at Devillums."
Paulina can only give her mother a wry smile. She never dared to tell her family about her situation. They simply thought of her as being out of her element. Paulina knows that she will only worry her family. Mother was so happy when Paulina began to accompany her to functions. She is the usual representative of the Ars Family, along with Great Aunt Minnie. Coincidentally, Paulina's great aunt couldn't come tonight because her wicked phase is not over yet.
Grandfather Goetia finds Devillum balls tedious after the passing of his wife, Paulina's grandmother. He wouldn't mind at all if she stayed at home with him instead. Her father Theo-Goetia (or Junior, as Grandfather would call him) prefers the company of books than demons. Great Aunt Beatrix would offer to take Paulina to explore the unknown parts of the Netherworld, the outdoor enthusiast that she is. She doesn't mind staying inside as long as there are books though. Great Aunt Alma had a prior engagement with a client and couldn't come. Great Aunt Minnie is the only one who kept up with high society before Mother joined the family. She came to adore her for it.
Any excuses wouldn't fly with Mother or Great Aunt Minnie however. Mother is a Belmont and Belmonts' one defining trait is pride. Meanwhile Great Aunt Minnie is a stickler to rules and etiquettes. Paulina received a tongue lashing from her when she got caught slouching the other day. She is not looking for a repetition. And then there's Nova who just turned six. Mother and Great Aunt Minnie are in agreement that he is far from ready. Especially not when he buried his nose in books far longer than anyone in the family. If they are not careful a day can pass without them seeing Nova's full face.
So they turn to Paulina. She attended her first Deviculum when she was eight years old. Ever since then, if Paulina behaved they would reward her with books she wanted or dessert. She is too old for rewards now. That's when the new dresses and accessories come in. The Deviculum is the kind of place where you flaunt your money.
"Our family doesn't believe in judging a book by its cover but we definitely do. The same goes with other people. That's why we clothe ourselves carefully. Be sure to remember, Paulina," Great Aunt Minnie told her once.
Paulina is under no illusion about her appearance. Those girls had been right to call her dull. Not only is she a meek demon, Paulina knows that she is not exactly up to beauty standards. Dark freckles mark across her nose. Mother is born with eye-catching fire brand red hair but she inherited Father's unruly hair instead. Her wings are common black instead of rare gold. Paulina has grown an inch since the beginning of the school year but she is nowhere near as tall as some girls at school. Expensive jewelry makes her nervous. She always feels like they wear her when it's supposed to be the other way around.
Lord Alice Asmodeus is the complete opposite of her. He is like pink sapphire, the pink of twilight, as luminous as the sacred flame of the Asmodeus line. Everything about Paulina pales in comparison. Yet not only did he treat her courteously when he had no reason to, Lord Asmodeus called her dancing beautiful. No boy ever said that to Paulina before. And he said it so sincerely that she can't help but believe it too.
Mother grilled her for more details throughout the ride home. Paulina tries to answer as succinctly as possible while still vague at the same time. She still scarcely believed that she talked with Lord Asmodeus. She'd like to keep it to herself until she is ready to share. It will surely come out in the future. The Ars Family likes to share everything in written form because some things cannot be said out loud. Paulina has written in her diaries and journals ever since she learned how to hold a pencil. The carriage ride can't be any slower! Paulina can't wait to write down the events of tonight in her journal.
The carriage ride finally stops after what feels like months. Paulina wanted nothing more than to go to her room, but first she must meet with the rest of her family. Or just Great Aunt Minnie. She always waits for them if she is hindered from coming along. She and Mother would gossip for a bit before they each retire to their own rooms.
Renfield, the family butler, welcomes them at the front door. He bows down. "Welcome back, Madam Lucy, Lady Paulina. Madam Dictaminis is waiting for you at the parlour."
"Her wicked phase is over then?" Mother asks as a maid takes her coat.
"Yes, Ma'am. About two hours ago."
"Excellent. She wouldn't want to miss this." Mother gives her a conspiratorial smile over her shoulder.
Great Aunt Minnie is reading a book when Mother and Paulina step inside the room. She looks up, "Good evening, my dears. How was the Deviculum tonight?"
"Auntie, how are you feeling?" Mother asks.
"Hm. One wicked phase won't kill me. Now, let's not waste any second. Sit down and tell me how it goes. Renfield, fetch my brother and my nephew."
"Yes, milady," Renfield bowed once and took his leave.
"You wouldn't believe what happened tonight, Aunt Minnie," says Mother as they take their seats. "Tell her, Paulina," She winks at her.
Paulina turned to her great aunt, smiling. "I danced with Lord Alice Asmodeus."
Great Aunt Minnie's eyes turned as wide as saucers. "The Asmodeus heir? You must tell me everything! Now!"
And so Paulina recap everything that happened at the ball. She left out the part where those girls took her shawl and headdress of course. By the time she's finished, the maid brought in a fresh pot of tea.
Great Aunt Minnie sat back, looking as pleased as the cat that got the cream. "You've outdone yourself this time, dearest niece. No Asmodeus and Ars ever joined in a union before."
Paulina feels her cheeks getting hot. "We only danced once. Isn't it too early to call for celebration? Besides…"
"Besides?" Great Aunt Minnie leaned forward in interest. So does Mother.
"I don't think he is interested in courtship right now," Paulina told them. The way Asmodeus-sama lit up when speaking to this Iruma person on the phone is fresh in her mind. He's like a different person. Between the phone call and Amelie-sama who kept badgering Asmodeus-sama for details, there is no room for Paulina to join in. Asmodeus-sama then went home.
The Iruma on the phone must be the same Iruma who saved Walter Park from destruction. The incident is the only thing partygoers talk about at this Devillum. He must be a great person to make Asmodeus-sama leave early. Iruma has been featured in the newspaper multiple times now. Paulina read that Asmodeus-sama is in the same class as him. The article calls them the Misfit Class.
"Regardless of the case, you caught the eye of a Thirteen Crown member and her son. That is no small feat, Paulina." Mother lifts up her cup. "It is imperative to build connections with other families. Of course, I wouldn't mind having an Asmodeus as my son in law."
"Mother, it's not like that." It's really not. If Lord Asmodeus is truly smitten with her, he would show the same excitement like he did when he received that phone call, she thinks. Besides, Paulina is still ranked Aleph. Lord Asmodeus deserves a better partner.
...It will be a different story if Paulina raised her rank though.
"It was not like "that" for your father and I either," Mother says while giving Paulina a knowing look. "Just don't dismiss the idea so soon. No one knows what the future holds."
"Well said," Great Aunt Minnie lifted up her cup in agreement.
No Belmont ever married an Asmodeus either, if Paulina remembers their family history correctly. A half Belmont like Paulina marrying the Asmodeus heir will give Mother an upper hand over their relatives from the main line.
"Should we ask Aunt Alma to check?" Mother wonders out loud. "Her predictions are reasonably accurate after all."
"Check what?" A new voice joins them.
Paulina turns her head to see Father and Grandfather Goetia standing at the door. They look winded. The night rounds this time must have given them more trouble than usual.
"Hello, my dear. How was the Devillum?" Grandfather moved to the empty seat next to her.
"You want Aunt Alma to check what?" Father moves to the seat next to Mother.
"Paulina danced with the Asmodeus heir." "Couple compatibility between Paulina and the Asmodeus heir." Mother and Great Aunt Minnie answered at the same time.
"I had a lovely time at the ball. Thank you for asking, Grandfather," Paulina is pleased with herself that she did not stutter, despite the rising heat in her cheeks.
Both Father and Grandfather sit upright immediately. "The Asmodeus Heir?"
"We danced exactly once. That hardly counts as courtship. I didn't so much as give him my name." She admits. Paulina had forgotten to tell him her name and Lord Asmodeus didn't ask either. He simply addressed her as 'Lady.' It felt good to be treated as a proper lady by a proper gentleman.
"Even so," Grandfather's face is grave. "We should prepare ourselves in case he calls. There is still time left before school break ends."
"Father," Paulina shot her father a pleading look.
Father's parlour is an odd combination of pale and flushed. "Children younger than you have had engagements in the past."
Her family is ridiculous. Arranged marriage is still practised by a small percentage of nobility in the modern age, but they always wait for all parties involved to come of age first before they march to the altar. Somehow Paulina doubts Lady Amaryllis, who is reputed to be carefree, will promise her only son's hand in marriage anytime soon.
"Lord Asmodeus and I will not be engaged in the foreseeable future. Now, may I be excused?" Paulina finishes what's left of her tea.
Grandfather waves a hand. "Get some rest, my dear. You don't need to do the morning rounds tomorrow."
"Thank you, Grandfather," She bowed her head in gratitude. "Good night, everyone." Paulina got up from her seat.
Before one reaches the staircase that leads to the second floor, they must pass the gallery full of portraits of past members of the Ars Family. A good portion of them sport aquiline nose, a common feature in their family. Grandfather Goetia and his three sisters inherited it from their father, Paulina's great grandfather, along with piercing red eyes, which are also a classic trait in their line. Yet despite their likeness to bats, the Ars Family is often compared to birds-of-prey. Grandfather put up Grandmother's portrait after her passing. Grandmother's name was Eliza, and she was a great beauty. Golden blonde hair that curls in waves, high cheekbones and heart-shaped lips. She was a succubus, and an excellent one too. And she threw away all that potential to wed a boring man. Or so people believe. Grandfather had snickered when he told Paulina the story of how they met. Grandmother Eliza always wanted to be a scholar. He's just a bonus. Father has Grandmother's cheekbones and the rest of him is Grandfather.
Meanwhile, her younger brother Nova takes after their mother. Members of the Belmont Family tend to have red hair and serpentine tail. Some Belmonts are born with freckles, though it skips over Mother entirely and to Paulina. Nova got Mother's fair skin, fiery red hair and serpentine tail. Right now his tail is too big for his body, it drags on the floor whenever Nova walks, but there is no doubt in Paulina's mind that he will grow into it. She doesn't want to be vain, but she often wishes that she is more Belmont than Ars, in appearance if not spirit.
The Ars Family is known as The Librarians to the known Netherworld. Many demonfolk are unable to relate to their great love for books and brand them as 'boring bunch' for it. Paulina is not ashamed to admit that she is obsessed with books, as it is the norm with the rest of her clan, but she can understand where they come from. Most demons do not possess the kind of focus the Arses have. Her peers at school already found her weird for being more interested in books than competitions or rankings. It didn't bother her in elementary but now that she is older… Well, it is tiresome to know what you love, what makes you you, is not enough to most people. The jokes won't stop until Paulina is well into adulthood. She heard grownups making fun of the family elders behind their back at Devillums often enough to realize that now.
And then there's Paulina.
She is never remarkable, no matter how many books she read, the number of activities Mother threw her into, or the amount of time Great Aunt Minnie spent instructing her in etiquette and all the things a noble lady must know. There is no shame in marrying up, Mother often tells her. Lucy Belmont was a daughter from the branch line who managed to snatch herself a family heir. She wanted more than the lot she got in her life and she worked hard for it. Mother wants that for Paulina as well. As long as Paulina finds a good match, everything will work itself out. The Asmodeus heir is the biggest prize of them all.
'It would not be so terrible to wed him,' Paulina thought as she closed the door behind her. 'A person who thinks a Rank 1 like me still has worth won't make the worst husband.' All right. Perhaps Mother's suggestion affected her more than she initially thought. It's hard not to think about it. Not when Lord Asmodeus himself looks and acts like a prince straight out from a fairytale. Paulina can see herself being happy with him.
But it won't be fair for him to get caught up in Mother's ambition. It's not fair for her too.
Paulina doesn't have any concrete goal in mind, or ambition as some people would call it. She always assumed that she would become a librarian like most of her family. The Ars clan operate a number of libraries in the Netherworld, among other things. Wherever Paulina gets assigned to, she knows that she won't be dissatisfied. Books and her family. As long she has those two things, Paulina is content. But those are simply safety nets. And Paulina- She never tries to want more. It would be so easy, not to mention understandable, if she fell in love with Lord Asmodeus right there and then, but she's not. What Paulina feels for him is simply admiration and gratitude. Fantasizing about a married life with him is not the same as wanting to marry him. It is merely escapism. An empty dream. Just like…
Paulina catches her reflection in the mirror. A puppet for Mother and Great Aunt Minnie to doll up and play with. She knows that they don't think of her that way, but it's hard to deny that Paulina feels the tiniest bit of resentment towards them. Every time Paulina got a passing grade, they would move the goal post without appreciation of her hard work. Grandfather and Father are not very helpful. They give her solace and books whenever Paulina comes to them, but it's clear that they don't believe that she is struggling. Those two consider themselves not as driven as other demons. It led them to develop a mindset that goes like this; If I can do this much then other people should be able to as well.
Somewhere down the road, she gave up. She had grown too comfortable even with her despondency. Is that when she begins to stagnate? To think an Ars could be lazy. For all her faults, Paulina never lists indolence as one of them. Yet here we are.
What kind of demon that desires nothing? Not a very good one apparently.
And she doesn't want to be that kind of demon. She doesn't want to be a puppet any longer either. She wants her peers to stop making fun of her. She wants to be someone that she herself could be proud of. To finally be comfortable in her skin and not feel like she is one blunder away from failure. Someone without false confidence. Someone who can stand on her own two feet. Someone who's dignified and graceful like Lord Asmodeus.
She wants to look at her reflection in the mirror and see her true self. Not the personas decided by others.
Oh.
Oh.
This is ambition, isn't it? To want something so much that you throw yourself into it without second thought? Your fangs itches and you want to sink them into something and feast. It felt like someone had cast an electrocution spell on her. But instead of painful, it felt liberating.
The reflection in her mirror is smiling. Paulina's hand shot up to touch her cheek. She smiled a lot more tonight than the past few months combined. Did her family even notice? Paulina isn't sure which one would be worse; her family willfully ignore it or don't know her well enough to look closer.
The maids arrive to help Paulina clean up. One of them took the jewelry away to be returned to the vault. And so Paulina's magical night comes to an end.
Before she calls it a night though, she must put down everything in her journal. The Ars Family are not only bibliophiles, they are also prolific writers. It is an unofficial family tradition to write down one's own life story so the future generation can read and learn from them. Thousands upon thousands of Arses still live on across the pages. Even a tiny dot can reveal so much. Sighs getting caught between two words. Secrets come out smelling like blood lemons. Wails of a bereft mother written in lowercase. Black streaks on yellowed pages are so sharp that it cuts your heart. Love immortalized in an unfinished poem. Sometimes you get a doodle of pants-wearing cockatrice right next to the formula of a head explosion spell.
I was here. I existed. Remember me.
Reading the diaries and journals of her predecessors always leave an ache in her heart that Paulina couldn't explain. Perhaps it is ambition in its own way, the want to not be forgotten. She remembered the time Grandfather tried to explain to her what death is after Grandmother passed away. He calls the lost books and demons whose names no longer in memory as the final death. Tiny Paulina pictures these nameless, faceless Arses wandering in the dark, unable to get home, and weep for them. Grandmother Eliza may not be among the living but at least she will not be forgotten anytime soon.
Paulina feels like a character from a historical novel as every time she takes a seat in front of her secretary desk. Tonight even more so as she is in her nightgown. With a flick of a hand, her journal flipped open to the latest page. She picks up her quill pen (white feather with red bow tied around the section) and begins to ponder.
What will her future readers think when they reach tonight's entry? Will they think of her as another teenage girl knee deep in her youthful foolishness? Scoff when they read the name of a boy and the word 'admiration' in the same sentence? Roll their eyes at her ambition? Or perhaps this volume will be found by an Aleph one day. They will read Asmodeus-sama's words and borrow strength from it. There is no way to tell. Paulina can only put faith in her readers to be perceptive enough to take note of the change.
Let it be known that today is the start of a new chapter in her life.
Let the revolution begin.
Paulina starts to write.
1. Paulina is the demon girl who made an appearance in chapter 91 in the manga. We know that she is currently Rank 1, hail from a family of librarians, and knows her etiquette. Despite only appearing once I immediately fell in love with her. I took liberties to name her, create my own head canons and thus this fic is born.
2. To avoid future confusion I will refrain from using any names from the Lesser Key of Solomon. Instead Paulina's family will be named after actual books or fictional characters from other media. Fun Fact: Ars Paulina is the third part of the Lesser Key of Solomon series.
3. Yes, this story will incorporate Dracula and Castlevania elements/references. It's in the tags. There will be other non-vampiric references thrown in though.
Thank you for reading
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