Step.
Clank.
Step.
Clank.
Every time Loki moved, the rattle of chains served as a reminder.
Of what he had lost. Of what he had thrown from himself. Of how far he'd fallen.
Thor had a large hand wrapped around his bicep as he led him, stone-faced, into Asgard. His crimes were unforgiveable. The only question running through his head, was…
Where had he gone wrong? What had prompted him to fall so far?
Obviously, the moment he'd let go of the staff was when his life had truly gone downhill.
But why had he let go?
"No, Loki."
That's why. But why had it mattered so much, to him? Why had the disapproval of his father driven him to the ultimate act of hopelessness?
For some reason, Loki found himself thinking that if he could just trace back to the root of the problem, he could solve all the issues of the present. It was hopeless, honestly. Thor would take him to the dungeons, the trial would be next morning, then it would be off with Loki's head.
There was no escape. He'd never be able to convince his father that the damage on Midgard hadn't been of his own volition, and even if he could, the attack on Jotunheim was unforgivable, just by itself.
Perhaps, if he could trace the crimes, the atrocities back to their original motives, though, he could present a better case. Or something.
Loki, despite everything, was an optimist. He truly believed there was good in the world, just… that good wasn't him.
Perhaps, in the past, he'd been good. When had he gone wrong, though? The moment he'd decided to make Odin's opinion of him matter more than his own. At that moment, he decided that anything was worth getting Odin's approval, even the obviously wrong thing. It had ruined him.
He still remembered the day he had decided. As Thor guided him through the halls of Asgard, he was lost in the memory. He could almost hear the clanking of swords, as Thor, at the time, only seven had been training with the guards.
"Why aren't you training?" His father… no, Odin had asked the small Trickster, as he had sat under a tree with a book.
"It's too hot." He'd protested.
"That doesn't bother Thor." Odin had told him, watching his firstborn with a proud smile on his face, before he'd turned back to Loki. "You ought to be more like him."
"But, Father… I'm not him." He had pointed out. "Mother says that we're good at different things, and that's good. Isn't it?"
"She coddles you too much." Odin had glared, the look of harsh disappointment in his eyes such a contrast from the way he'd been looking at Thor. "If you're to be a warrior, you must excel your peers."
Loki had looked doubtfully down at his puny muscles as the king had stomped off, the resolve firm in his mind. If he ever wanted Odin to look at him with the same pride he'd been looking at Thor, he had to change himself.
Now, as the dungeon door clanged shut behind him, Loki knew that that had been the moment he'd made the fatal mistake of his life.
If only he could this stupid muzzle off… He could, perhaps, plead Thor to listen to him, to defend himself. As it was, he could only provide hopeless puppy-dog eyes.
"Don't look at me like that, brother." Thor sighed. "I gave you every opportunity to turn from your ways."
No, actually. You gave Thanos, who was doing a terrible impression of myself, every opportunity to turn from his ways. Not that the thought would do anything, but at least someone acknowledged the fact. Even if it was only him. As his brother sighed, and walked away, leaving him alone with his dismal thoughts, Loki slumped miserably, and sat down on the bare, flea-ridden cot, head in his hands.
If he could go back to the moment of Odin's walking away, and tell his younger self the truth, all of this could be averted. He wouldn't even be in this hole, most likely. Even as he thought that, a spell to travel through time floated through his mind. Brightening considerably, Loki pored over this idea in his head. Time travel was risky, anything could happen. Especially if you went back to a moment where you existed, as well. That would put enormous strain on the time stream.
Besides, he wasn't even sure if it would work. Then again… he was about to die. He was desperate. If he was suddenly blipped from existence, at this point, it would make little to no difference.
Despite his shackled hands, he began tracing the sigils in the air. It was a complicated formula, and not one easily done, but with enough concentration, he might just be able to make it work. The air around him hummed with energy, green and golden sparkles danced around his fingers as he continued tracing.
He could do this. He was going to fix the whole thing. He'd be, at least if not normal, he wouldn't be striving for perfection. A tiny smile bloomed under the muzzle, until a thought occurred to him.
If he were to go back in time, and change the present, his present would never happen. Presently, he was going back in time, so if there was no need to go back in time and change the present, he wouldn't. Therefore, the need would arise, and… he'd have to go back in time, eliminating the need for him to go back in time, and…
Oh, dear.
He'd already come across a paradox.
In the split second that the thought flashed through his mind, he hesitated, fumbled, and all the power, the energy pulsing through his veins, ground to an abrupt halt. The golden sparks of light floating around the room flashed dangerously, and flew back towards his core. This was why it was so dangerous to lose focus in the middle of a spell. With all the power being manipulated, a single misstep could cause an implosion.
It seemed Loki's veins turned to fire within him, as the pent-up energy that would have been being used to transport him back in time demanded an escape. His vison was overwhelmed in a bright white light, and Loki threw back his head and screamed.
Happy Cliffhanger Day! :D
TheOnlyHuman.