INTRO:
W: The art of cloning. A true scientific marvel of how we can duplicate organic material and create new life.
B: But sometimes if you play God and make deadly killing machines, God plays you and sics them on you with their sharp everything.
W: Mileena, the hybrid clone of Kitana.
B: And X-23, the genderbent clone of Wolverine. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
W: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
MILEENA:
(The Flesh Pits - Mortal Kombat 9)
W: It was a great victory for Outworld. The emperor Shao Kahn had merged the realm of Edenia with Outworld after Outworld won 10 consecutive Mortal Kombat tournaments. As a prize, he took the realm's queen and princess, Sindel and Kitana, as his wife and daughter.
B: But since he killed Kitana's father, Shao Kahn feared that she'd betray him if she ever discovered the truth. So, he had his sorcerer second-in-command Shang Tsung magic him a new baby girl to replace Kitana. She would be deadly, ferocious, and have a face only a mother could love. Well, maybe a crazy mom.
(Mileena's Theme - Mortal Kombat 9)
W: This was Mileena, a deadly Edenian-Tarkatan hybrid and clone sister of Kitana. The two would grow up together as close friends, despite Mileena's hideous appearance. But instead of replacing Kitana, Mileena would be used to watch Kitana and make sure that she would remain loyal to the Kahn family.
B: But during the second Mortal Kombat tournament, after Liu Kang kicked Shang Tsung's ass, Kahn's fears came to life. Kitana found out she was adopted, but feigned loyalty and plotted to overthrow her new eviler dad in secret. This made him suspicious and he sent Mileena to spy on her sister.
W: By then, Mileena had grown into a deadly fighter. She fights mostly using twin sais, but also once used a longsword and later clawed gauntlets. For unarmed combat, Mileena fights using the Mian Chuan, which is a northern Chinese martial art, and Ying Yeung fighting styles.
B: But Mileena also uses berserk ferocity and deadly tactics to kill her opponents, and even tosses in some magic as well. She can roll into a ball, drop from the air using Tele-Kick, throw her sais like projectiles, spit out nails, stab her foes repeatedly, eat them alive, or suck them in with a kiss and spit out their bones.
Mileena performs her Man Eater fatality on Tanya.
B: Damn. I'd hate to be the freak that kisses that ugly mug.
W: But despite all of her training, when Mileena found out that Kitana allied with Earthrealm's warriors, she failed to defeat her sister and was killed. She was banished to the Netherrealm, but was resurrected by the fallen Elder God Shinnok, who tasked her to act as his spy during Shao Kahn's invasion, and she also gained the ability to read Kitana's thoughts.
B: And after Liu Kang defeated Shao Kahn for the second time and saved the world once again, Mileena allied with Shinnok during his own invasion of Edenia. Desperate to prove herself, she let Kitana escape from Shinnok's dungeons, but after Liu Kang bested Shinnok, Kitana spilled the beans that she knew what Mileena really was. She was an experiment this whole time!
W: Mileena was distraught to learn that she was not really Kitana's sister, but also saw that if she could not have the Edenian throne, then neither would Kitana. However, Kitana bested her and locked her up in an Edenian prison, hoping she would be reformed.
B: But she didn't and was locked up in there for years until Edenia was invaded AGAIN. This time by the Dragon King Onaga. Mileena was freed by her possible boyfriend Baraka, and joined Onaga with the goal to disguise herself as Kitana to fool the Edenian armies. But this kinda backfired, since Mileena wanted revenge against Kitana and began taking control of the armies for herself.
W: With this army, she managed to seize control of Outworld, and those corrupted by her continued to serve her even after her identity was revealed. But when she found out that Shao Kahn, who had survived an assasination attempt from Quan Chi and Shang Tsung, was set on reclaiming Outworld, she willingly surrendered it to him.
B: Aww...she really is Daddy's girl.
W: Mileena was then tasked with capturing an old martial artist called Shujinko as a bargaining chip to gain Onaga as an ally. A task she managed to complete. However, the power she felt as being Edenia's ruler was addictive, and Mileena was set on being a mere minion no more.
B: So, to rule Edenia, Mileena was set on taking the power of the fire elemental Blaze, but during the Battle of Armageddon, spoiler alert, everyone dies! Well, except for Raiden and Shao Kahn, with Raiden completely resetting the timeline by sending a message to his past self, since he's a sore loser.
W: However, this also caused ripples that altered history itself. For example, Mileena did not grow up alongside Kitana, but was rather created during the events of the second Mortal Kombat tournament.
B: She remained the same deadly monster she once was, even taking part in Shao Kahn's invasion of Outworld. But after Shao Kahn's death, she was set on becoming the new ruler, or Kahnum, of Outworld. Huh. Guess Kahn's become a title now.
(Millena: Ethereal - Mortal Kombat X)
W: However, she was just a clone and thus not a direct heir to Shao Kahn. Thus, instead Shao Kahn's general took up the throne, becoming Kotal Kahn.
Popup: In the comics, Mileena's rule was even worse than Shao Kahn, so Kotal Kahn managed to usurp her and usher in a new era of peace and save Outworld.
B: So, Mileena decided to negotiate with Kotal. And what better way to negotiate than to wage a civil war?! God, I love Outworld.
W: Siding with Mileena was the traitorous Edenian Tanya, the half-god son of Argus Rain, the ruthless criminal Kano as a hired assassin, and a Tarkatan army. And to assert her dominance as heir to Outworld, Mileena managed to obtain the Amulet of Shinnok, with the Fallen Elder God himself having been defeated by Johnny Cage.
B: And that only happened because Liu Kang had become a whiny sonuvabitch and tricked Raiden into killing him. And when the Special Forces intervened with a team of next-gen soldiers to retrieve the amulet, Mileena was brought before Kotal, who had the bug lady D'Vorah finish her with the most disgusting makeout session I have ever seen.
Cassie Cage: I know I'll never eat again.
B: Me too. Now I REALLY hate to be the freak I mentioned earlier! Bug ladies are scary as f***!
W: However, when Shinnok's mother Kronika interfered after Shinnok's second defeat, she merged past and present into one, thus reviving Mileena.
B; Yeah, because apparently the fanbase was practically begging for Netherrealm Studios to bring her back. I mean, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! SHE'S EVEN MORE VICIOUS NOW AND EVEN RIPS OFF SONIC!
W: Regardless, Mileena has proven herself to be both beauty and beast. She has the strength which is both that of and greater than a Shokan, and matches her sister in terms of agility and deadliness. She can easily bite through bones, rip heads off, teleport to where her sai lies in the ground, become invisible with a blue aura, and is even strong enough to shatter diamond with a single chop.
B: Damn, Shao Kahn has created one hell of a monster kid. Let's hope her opponent is skilled enough to stop this monstrosity.
Millena: (laughs) Let us dance!
X-23:
(X-23's Theme - Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3)
W: James "Logan" Howlett. A feared and powerful X-Man. His adamantium skeleton and claws make him a deadly fighter, but very few have managed to match him in skills of ferocity.
B: Yeah, Hulk may be close to beating him in terms of rage, but Wolverine lives on through his successor: Laura Kinney, aka X-23.
W: When a top-secret program attempted to recreate the original Weapon X experiment that involved the feral mutant, Wolverine, they failed to secure a test subject who could survive the bonding process of the virtually unbreakable metal Adamantium to their skeleton. Seeking to take the project in a new direction, the project's director, Dr. Martin Sutter, recruited renowned mutant geneticist Doctor Sarah Kinney and tasked her with creating a clone.
B: That clone ended up being a genderbent version of Logan, who grew up in The Facility. But when Dr. Zander Rice realized that X-23 was growing soft, he tested a chemical compound known as a "trigger sense", which would cause X-23 to go berserk and become an instant murdering machine to anything standing in her path.
W: This would lead to X-23 to kill many people close to her, including her sensei, Tanaka, and even her own mother, Sarah.
B: Many mishaps later, Laura eventually met up with her "dad" and even became one of the uncanny X-Men.
W: Like Logan before her, X-23 has a powerful healing factor and adamantium claws. She also has some of his ferocity as well, but makes up for agility where she lacks in strength. But unlike Wolverine, she does not have an entire skeleton made of adamantium, but she has something else that does.
B: She only has two claws per hand, but makes up for it with an extra pair of feet blades. So when she kicks your ass, you KNOW it's gonna be painful. I mean, those claws can cut through basically anything!
W: Laura also has superhuman reflexes and speed, chemical and disease immunity, slowed aging, resistance against psychic attacks, the ability to go invisible, and she is trained in martial arts, acrobatics, covert ops, and tracking. However, she does have her weaknesses. Since adamantium is a metal, that means those with polarity based powers, such as Magneto, can bend, control, and even toss her around or rip her apart.
B: Welcome to die, indeed. Laura's also weak against powerful energy blades, the Muramasa Blade, which is a sword that cuts at a molecular level, and even her own blades. Damn! Does this mean Wolverine's weakness is also his own claws?
W: And like Wolverine, Laura can also go into a berserk rage, but she has managed to resist the trigger sense. And she has done some incredible feats.
B: Yeah! She took up the mantle of Wolverine after Logan's death, helped both Marvel and Capcom characters defeat Galactus, and even survived getting trapped inside the Vault, in which time passes much quicker!
W: Just goes to show that like Logan before her, nothing can cage the unstoppable beast that is the Wolverine.
X-23: I'm the second best at what I do.
THE FIGHT:
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! And we've run the data through all possibilities! Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLEEEEEEE!
…
(Tooth and Claw - Brandon Yates)
Within the Koliseum, warriors lie dead, bloody, and mutilated. Nearby, a bloody X-23 manages to kill a Tormentor as the crowd cheers. She only stands back up after it falls dead to the ground, showing her bloodstained claws.
X-23: Heh. Too easy. Now, who's next?
Something invisible strikes her and she yelps as she falls to the ground. X-23 gets back up and sees Mileena decloak.
X-23: What the hell?
Mileena: (removes her mask) Well, looks like we have a new toy to play with. (giggles seductively and licks her sai)
X-23: UGH! Damn, what big teeth you have!
Mileena: The better to eat you with, my dear! (laughs)
MK Announcer: FIGHT!
The two charge and trade blows, claws against sai. X-23 lands a flipping kick to Mileena's chest, and an X-Ray shows her ribs cracking. Roaring out, Mileena grabs X-23's punching arm and bites down. X-23 briefly howls in pain and punches Mileena away. She takes a look at her bleeding arm… and sees the wound already starting to patch up. She looks back at Mileena with a smirk.
The two continue to fight, with X-23 jumping over a roll attack, but Mileena manages to land a Tele-Kick before following up with rapid sai stabs and a knee to the chest, knocking X-23 back. X-23 only chuckles as her healing factor regenerates her wounds.
Mileena: What cursed sorcery IS this?!
X-23: What, never heard of a healing factor before? Besides, you're not the only one that can pull off that little disappearing trick.
X-23 then goes invisible, then appears behind Mileena and slashes across her back, cracking her spine. Rerouting, Mileena eats a bucketful of nails and spits them out, but X-23 only slices them all apart.
X-23: Well, looks like you're more of a monster than I am. And that's saying something.
Mileena: Fool! I am no monster! I am the ruler of Outworld! And THIS is your execution!
She throws her sais, which X-23 catches. Mileena then pushes her to the ground and leaps onto her, but X-23 blocks with her claws.
X-23: Then consider THIS your dethronement.
She delivers a powerful kick to Mileena's gut, knocking her off. They continue to trade blows until Mileena gets the upper hand by using a nearby sword and slashing with her claws three times and starts rapidly stabbing X-23 in the gut with her sais before leaping over her and onto her back to bite her neck, ripping off a chunk of flesh. Afterwards Mileena makes a backflip and throws her sais at X-23's head, but they lodge into her shoulders when she tries to avoid them. X-23 screams and a rage-filled expression crosses her face.
Reaching behind her, X-23 pulls the two sai out and throws them at Mileena. The hybrid expertly catches them and sprints up to X-23, kicking her to the sand of the Koliseum. As X-23 gets back up, heavily wounded, Millena walks over to her and seductively embraces her.
Mileena: You have made quite a name for yourself in this place. But I think you can be better than just a mere warrior... you will make a fine concubine. Now… kiss me.
Before Mileena can move in close enough, X-23 snarls and kicks her hard in the groin, making Mileena scream out in pain as the Adamantium blade in the mutant's foot cuts in deep. X-23 then regenerates her wounds, revealing that she was faking her immense pain.
X-23: (she snarls angrily and her words come out with an enraged hiss) With THOSE lips? No thanks.
MK Announcer: FINISH HER!
With a yell, X-23 rushes forward and unleashes a barrage of rapid slashes with all of her claws, ending with slicing Mileena's throat. She then falls apart as it is shown that X-23 severed off her arms and legs. Then, X-23 decapitates Mileena with another claw slash, then slices the airborne head in two with a backflip kick. Coated in blood, X-23 turns her head to the sky and lets out a scream of rage. She catches her breath, looks down at Mileena's corpse, and scoffs.
MK Announcer: FATALITY!
X-23: Hmph. Amatuer.
RESULTS:
DB Announcer: K.O!
B: Damn, Mileena got STOMPED!
W: While Mileena is a downright beast and is the deadliest fighter in Mortal Kombat history, X-23 was even more ferocious, as well as a thinking animal.
B: Besides, Mileena may be able to chomp through bone and shatter diamond, but adamantium is WAY tougher than any of them, so she couldn't shatter X-23 no matter how hard she bit down!
W: And since Wolverine's healing factor stems from the brain, it's likely that X-23 operated the same way. And X-23 was just too fast for Mileena to get a clear shot.
B: Looks like THIS hybrid couldn't Mi-lean-a her way to victory!
W: The winner is X-23.